A divine day trip to the temple town of Kanchipuram organised by Silver Talkies was memorable for our member Preeta. She shares her experience here. A must-read if you're planning a visit!
I'm going to tell you the story of a memorable day trip. The destination was the temple town Kanchipuram, and the agenda was to see at least four temples, visit a museum and buy sarees! On February 27, we started our journey early in the morning from Chennai and headed towards Kanchipuram accompanied by our guide Abhirami Shyla. Our first stop was breakfast on the outskirts of the city, after which we proceeded to the Kanchi Kamakshi temple, an ancient and beautiful temple. The temple is famous for its captivating idol of the Devi, with a big Sri chakram on the floor in front of her. The Alankaram of the Goddess was Saraswati Devi and she sat in a majestic but serene splendour with the Veena on her lap. Nidhi, who is the co-founder of Silver Talkies, had made arrangements for a special darshan so we were able to sit close to the sanctum sanctorum and peacefully offer our prayers to the benevolent Goddess.
Our next stop was the Ekambareswarar temple. The temple has an interesting legend associated with it. Once, Goddess Parvati playfully closed the eyes of the Lord from behind, just like children do. However, the world was immediately plunged into darkness as each of the lord's eyes are the sun and the moon that power the world. Since they were forcibly shut, the world was eclipsed and living creatures were unable to survive. In response, the Lord promptly ordered Devi to live on earth as a human and repent for what she had done.
A repentant Devi lived on earth as a human. She made a Shiva Lingam out of sand and offered her prayers to the lord. One day, a sudden flood hit the region. Without any second thought, she embraced the lingam in a bid to protect it from the rising water. Impressed by her true devotion, Lord Shiva relented and agreed to marry her. The couple got married under a lone mango tree. The temple legend has it that this mango tree was where the temple stands today. You can see a remnant of the tree trunk and also a much younger tree now that has a beautiful idol of Lord Shiva and the coy Devi Parvati next to him. We had a special darshan of this sacred site as well.
After lunch, we headed to a saree shop where I gave in to the temptation of buying a couple of the beautiful Kanchi cottons with their vibrant colours and beautiful designs!
Our next stop was at the Kailasanathar temple - this is a very ancient temple from the Pallava reign, made of sandstone and originally had colourful carvings and murals with vivid natural dyes. Sadly, the stand stone carvings have eroded due to the passage of time and the effects of wind and rain. But we could still see the patches of bright colours in some parts. The temple is home to a beautiful Shivling. Our guide Abhirami guided us to structures dedicated to Lord Vishnu and the alcoves where one can still see traces of the natural dyes.
Afterwards, we visited the folklore museum, which was once the family home of Sir C P Ramaswami Aiyar, the erstwhile Dewan of Travancore and a statesman who accepted to be Dewan of Travancore on the assurance that the state would promulgate an ordinance to introduce Temple Entry for all Hindus, irrespective of caste. His first act as Dewan was the introduction of the Temple Entry Act, promulgated in 1936 by the Maharajah of Travancore. This was the first step taken in India to abolish untouchability by direct government action and was much praised and appreciated by Mahatma Gandhi. The house has been preserved very well by C.P. Ramaswami Aiyar Foundation, managed by a member of the family Nandita Krishna.
We were able to imagine what a typical Agraharam home would have been like in days gone by. The museum has a vast and diverse collection of Kolu dolls. There was also a zenana or women’s section in the house. In the olden days, this is where the women and children lived. They were confined to the upper floors of the house and communicated with the people downstairs through the windows from upstairs. The most impressive part of the house was the very beautiful pooja room and kitchen, which had utensils from a bygone era.
Our journey led us to the Varadharaja Perumal temple next, a temple dedicated to Lord Vishnu and famous for its distinctive ritual. In the temple tank, there lies a wooden idol of Lord Vishnu, intricately carved from a fig tree. The idol is taken out of the water once every 40 years and worshipped for 48 days with great devotion before being immersed again at the bottom of the tank. This unique practice left us in awe.
The entire experience of visiting these temples was unforgettable and coupled with the backstories, left us with a deeper appreciation for their significance.
I was fortunate to have a small group of delightful travelling companions -- Mr Iyer, who was witty and entertaining, and his sweet wife Girija. We were joined by Shobha Hebbar and her cousin Suchi and also fellow club members Rukmini, and Radha. As expected from a Silver Talkies club event, one of the organisers took care of everything. In this case, Nidhi ensured our comfort and arranged for us to have good darshans. We also had the pleasure of being guided by Abhirami, who shared fascinating legends about Kanchipuram that made our visit all the more special. By the time we left for Chennai, it was almost sunset, and we were tired but content after a day spent in the cool temples. We felt cleansed and rejuvenated by our serene visit to see these deities. We all agreed that we looked forward to more outings like this in Chennai.
The Silver Talkies Club organises day trips and travel to beautiful destinations both in India and overseas frequently. To know more or become a member, contact us at connect@silvertalkies.com or click here to view plans.
Explore Pottery for Older Adults: A Journey of Creativity and Mindfulness!
Pottery isn’t just for the young and agile; it’s an exciting journey for older adults too! Imagine this: your hands in cool, mouldable clay and your imagination running wild, as you shape it into something truly special. Pottery presents an adventure many of us have longed for, and older adults are enthusiastically diving in, uncovering creativity, relaxation and boundless enjoyment.
Why should older adults try pottery? Let’s start with the pure joy of getting your hands dirty! There's something incredibly satisfying about moulding clay into whatever you desire. From elegant vases to quirky animal sculptures, the possibilities are endless.
But pottery isn't just about making beautiful objects; it's also a fantastic workout for the body and mind. Kneading and shaping clay gives your hands and arms a workout, improving strength and flexibility. Plus, the mental challenge of turning clay into a masterpiece keeps your brain sharp and sparks creativity.
And the best part? Pottery is a great way to make new friends and build connections. Joining a pottery class means being around people who share your passion for clay. You'll laugh, learn, and maybe even share tips and tricks. There's a special connection that comes out of bonding over a potter's wheel and creating memories together.
But perhaps the most magical thing about pottery is how it can transport you to a place of pure calm. Working with clay has a meditative quality that helps you forget your worries and focus on the present moment. It's a refreshing feeling that leaves you relaxed, rejuvenated, and ready to take on the world.
Silver Talkies recently organized a pottery workshop for its members in Pune, and it was a hit! Amidst the whirl of pottery wheels and the squish of clay, members bonded over stories, laughs, and fun conversations.
“The pottery workshop provided a unique experience where I enjoyed crafting with clay, particularly enjoying the wheel pottery. The overall atmosphere was tranquil, allowing me to clear my mind for two hours,” Urmila Dixit, who participated in the workshop, told us.
Kavita, another participant, enjoyed the workshop immensely. “The pot-making experience was very pleasant. Making things out of clay is very challenging thought is an enjoyable way to pass the time,” she says, adding that to really master it, “basic knowledge along with the practical is needed.”
Recent research has demonstrated that art therapy which included pottery, helped to improve measures of self-esteem, as well as reduced depression and anxiety.
Like any craft, your pottery skills can get better with time after regular practice. Of course, be aware of any back pain issues beforehand and speak to your doctor before starting to avoid further pain. It is mindful, meditative, creative and a great exercise.
Got tips, tricks, or clay mishaps? Share them all here and join our interactive pottery journey!
LGBTQIA+ older adults face several challenges in an urban Indian society. Here’s their story.
"It is a stifled life, though it may not look like that from the outside. I don't really know a group of people my age I can connect to," says Smita, 65, choosing not to use her full name. A teacher from Goa, is a queer woman who has always hidden her true identity. She lives with her 92-year-old mother and has an excellent extended family grid, but most are unaware of her sexual orientation. Smita says she has "never really been out. They (her family) haven't asked, I haven't told." She was once in a relationship, but social stigma and the need for secrecy ended that long ago.
"Smaller cities in India didn't have the queer network and groups urban cities like Mumbai have now, especially in the 80s. I didn't dare to go against the tide. Now I read the queer discussion on social media with much admiration and wish I were born 20 years earlier instead of my 63 years on earth."
Data on LGBTQIA+ older adults is hard to find. 'An online survey of more than a million queer participants in India, carried out after the Supreme Court decriminalised homosexual activities, showed that almost 40% of the participants were aged 45 years or older, with almost 30% of this group married to women and 20% hiding their gay/bisexual identities from their spouses...' says the study' Psychological wellbeing of middle-aged and older queer men in India: A mixed-methods approach.'
Queer older adults are rarely portrayed, even on screen. The recent Malayalam movie 'Kaathal,' where Mammootty plays a closeted gay man, Sharmila Tagore's queer character in Gulmohar and Manoj Bajpai in Aligarh, are rare exceptions. While the discourse around the LGBTQIA community in India is unfurling and educating us, how much of it has centred around ageing? What are the main challenges a queer older adult faces in an urban Indian society?
The Fear of Loneliness
"The fear of being left alone is very high, more so in the gay community, resulting in massive mental health issues," says Vivek Anand, 60, CEO of Humsafar Trust. "One thing strongly lacking is an adequate support system for the older community. The moment you are ageing, you fall off the radar."
"This man from Punjab was thrown out by his extended family when he transferred his property to his nephew's name. He connected with us from Jalandhar, and we arranged for him to move to Delhi. At 68, this man who had remained closeted all his life for his family, taken care of his parents and extended family, was left alone and thrown out to fend for himself."- Vivek Anand
"We worry about who will take care of us if we get sick, and we don't have any support system in India to rely on. We don't want to depend on anyone, and we want to live on our own terms until the end as we always have," says Sailesh Thakur, 52, faculty of aviation and tourism at Mumbai University. Thakur, who never had family support, was involved with the gay groups in Mumbai and credits their activism and meet-ups for helping him gain an understanding of the LGBTQIA+ world. "That's where I found the courage to come out by seeing others, as I did not want to lead a dual life. I had the support of these groups and the people I met there."
Unfortunately, that kind of a support system is missing for older LGBTQIA+ in India, Thakur notes, making growing older somewhat scary for those without a regular partner or a solid friends and family network to fall back on. "As an older adult, I want to live a healthy life and stay mentally active. I want to be able to go to the bathroom on my own until my last day." Thakur has planned his savings and retirement and hopes these will see him through. "I hope my savings will last for 30 years," he laughs.
The Legal Lack
Having a regular partner and being in a long-term committed relationship can make growing older less lonely, though it's not smooth either. Same-sex marriages do not have legal sanction in India, with the Supreme Court declining to legalise same-sex marriage in Oct 2023.
Dr Roop Gurshahani and his partner Neil Pate have been together for over 20 years and tied the knot in London. Throughout their journey, Pate and his partner have cared for their ageing parents, managed both their stellar careers (Dr Gurshahani is a neurologist/Neil Pate is a senior journalist) and had the support of their family and friends. Despite this, growing older comes with enough challenges due to the lack of a legal sanction.
"In the case of LGBTQIA+ individuals, it's crucial to remember that, unlike heterosexual marriages that often lead to extended families and legal support through marriage certificates, same-sex relationships do not have those. In our country, same-sex relationships and marriages have not been recognised, and this has become a significant hurdle. Even something as fundamental as medical insurance is a challenge. For instance, both of us are doing well in our respective careers, but obtaining medical insurance, a simple necessity, is complicated. We can't get insurance for each other."- Neil Pate, managing editor with a leading newspaper
Pate has seen the loneliness and absolute isolation of many older adults in the community once a partner has passed on. He has also seen many being ostracised by their own family and society. He adds that these "seemingly mundane issues of insurance and legalities" become vital as one ages. "In the unfortunate event that something happens to either of us, the first person with the right to decide on our behalf, especially in a non-responsive or vegetative state, should be our partner. This becomes challenging without legal recognition. Additionally, for many LGBTQIA+ people, the support of extended family members is crucial in such situations, and it's not always guaranteed that someone will step in to help."
Smita mentions a heartbreaking incident. "Some years back, a friend of mine lost her long-time partner. They lived with their families but had been together for years. As her partner became frail and incoherent in the last days, the family took over and deliberately kept my friend away from the hospital. Ultimately, she didn't even get to attend the funeral."
Wellness Worries
Health-related worries are common with age, and the LGBTQIA+ community is no exception. "I can tell you anecdotally that in the last decade, HIV infection has been rising among older gay men. Negotiation for a condom is very low for that age group, especially among gay men married to women, and there is always this fear of being found out. That risk is on the rise, and as a result, the vulnerability to HIV has increased in the gay community," says Vivek Anand.
Anand says organisations like Humsafar Trust are very well-equipped to handle the issue. Humsafar Trust's data reveals that 95% to 98% of people who tested positive at their testing centre have recovered.
"But the problem comes with older men who don't want to acknowledge they have tested positive and go to a treatment centre due to inhibitions they grew up with. The older generation requires a lot of counselling, given the stigma, societal pressure, and embarrassment. So HIV is a rising problem among older gay men, and vulnerability is very high, contributing to mental health issues."
Dr Gursahani, Consultant Neurologist at PD Hinduja Hospital, Mumbai and an advanced care planning advocate, suggests that regardless of relationship status, an Advanced Care Plan (ACP) is important for the LGBTQIA+ community to have in place for end-of-life situations as people grow older. An ACP is a process to guide decision-making about your health care when you cannot decide for yourself.
Watch this video to hear his presentation that outlines it in detail: https://youtu.be/ifvQOGxSbPc?si=pUK2NVtC_rzYvquS (56:00 onwards)
One of the critical worries remains mental health as most 50+ LGBTQIA+ in India have grown up in the shadow of Section 377, which criminalised them, along with other challenges.
"The challenges faced by LGBTQIA+ ageing populations in India include limited access to health services, social challenges such as loneliness and isolation, difficulty integrating with the population, lack of social support, stigma, insufficient social services, and marginalisation, adding to the stress. Elder abuse is also a major concern. These factors make it challenging for older individuals to seek help when needed,"- Dr Debanjan Banerjee, geriatric psychiatrist and sexual medicine practitioner, Kolkata.
As everyone interviewed tells us without exception, the older generation grew up in an era that criminalised them and marked them 'abnormal'. It has been internalised to such an extent that many still hesitate to seek help.
The Ageism Within
Professor and ageing studies scholar Tannishtha Samanta from Flame University, Pune, points out that the LGBTQIA+ movement in India does suffer from an age bias.
"The movement, led by youth in metropolitical cities, has not been able to include the 50+ population as part of their activism. This is, of course, not a failure of the movement but primarily because middle-to-older queer persons grew up in a regime where sexual cultures were more stifled, both socially and legally. Hence, many of them led dual lives and continued with their erotic lives that remained invisible. Additionally, the gay movement in the 1980s received negative attention from public health programs due to the high rates of HIV+ persons in their community. This constructed their lives in the language of promiscuity and illegitimacy. The abrogation of Section 377 helped the younger cohorts, but it did not radically change the social lives of those in their middle to older ages."- Tannishtha Samanta
Dr Banerjee says few older adults are visible even at Pride marches. "Covert ageism is a vicious cycle in the older LGBTQ community. In a country like ours, there are already difficulties for the LGBTQIA population, and the social care services for older people are not great. This makes it a double jeopardy." The social stigma around queer people and sex above a certain age adds to this further. "Sexuality in older adults itself is a taboo and stigma. Imagine talking about sexuality in the older LGBTQIA population! Hence, a lot of issues, such as sexually transmitted diseases and substance abuse, remain unresolved as people do not approach health care because of this social and self-stigma."
It's unfair to generalise the dating scene for LGBTQIA+ older adults. We struggled to find women who would speak to us for this article. Nisha (name changed) mentioned that she had mainly been single after her partner, whom she had known since college, moved out. "I've managed a few dates, but dating remains tough for a 54-year-old single woman, gay or straight."
"The dating market for older queer persons remains circumscribed within the prejudices of age and masculine vitality. Our research on Grindr (a gay dating app) shows how older gay men navigate the online dating space by suppressing their numeric age and through self-disciplining exercise regimes (to look 'younger' and hence desirable) and outlandish sartorial choices to "fit in," says Dr Samanta.
But there's a bright side to it, too, she notes.
"Our conversations with gay older men in long-term relationships outside the Grindr grid revealed contrary narratives of hope and companionship. Some of them noted that their long-term living relationships with a same-sex partner were seldom brought under scrutiny since male friendships or 'dosti' are socially valued and approved!
Seeking Solutions
The support system for older LGBTQIA+ across India still needs to be improved. According to Anand, there are very few support systems like Humsafar Trust for the ageing queer population. There have been organisations like Gay Bombay and Seenagers, but many have fallen back on the advocacy angle. Seenagers was established by noted gay rights activist Ashok Row Kavi, though it has recently remained somewhat inactive. "However, we are now trying to make it an actual support group, where older gay men could have a network for healthcare needs through each other," Thakur, who has been part of Seenagers, says.
Pate says support groups for older LGBTQIA+ need to go beyond sex and relationships. "If I'm 78 years old, my needs in life extend beyond just the sexual aspect, though that is a biological need. I'll need a support system that includes medical assistance if I need hospitalisation. In the LGBTQIA+ community, finding someone to take an older adult to the hospital becomes a basic concern. You may have to rely on a kind neighbour or some close friends. However, your close friends may all be in the same age group as you, making the help uncertain."
Organisations like Helpage India and ARDSI Kolkata remain queer-friendly, inclusive, and sensitive. Dr Banerjee emphasises that we sensitise sex education, which shouldn't only be gender binary. He highlights the need to protect the rights of gender minorities, including the third gender, who also age over time. His work on transgender older adults during the pandemic shows the need for holistic care of gender minorities.
During her research, Dr Samanta has often observed how the non-kin family is an important element in the queer community and thinks they should be considered legitimate caregivers. "Many queer persons consider their lovers, friends and companions as part of their "chosen" families and rely on them in sickness and in health. Why can't long-term companions and friends be considered legitimate caregivers and receive benefits from the State just as those within the biological family are entitled to? Civil partnerships exist in many European countries and hold significant promise for a country like India, which relies heavily on the family or market provisions for care in old age, without social security and universal health coverage."
Sailesh Thakur would agree with her about the non-kin support system. Despite being a single man who does not have any support from his own family, he is optimistic about the network he is part of to see him to the end. "I have an alternate family -- good friend circle, both gay and straight, who I can fall back on."
Useful websites
If you thought a trek was challenging, try finishing the Land's End Sundae at the famous Ghirardelli Ice Cream and Chocolate Restaurant in San Francisco.
In the final lap of our six-month-long U.S. tour, we embarked on a memorable Sunday adventure in the enchanting San Francisco Bay Area, Our itinerary included a visit to Muir Redwood Park for a trek, a glimpse of the iconic Golden Gate Bridge, and a sweet stop at Ghirardelli Square. However, our trek at Muir Redwood Park was cut short due to slippery conditions after about a kilometre, forcing us to turn back.
Navigating through the heavy Sunday traffic, we were able to enjoy the breathtaking 1.7-kilometer-long Golden Gate Bridge, while moving, which offered spectacular vistas of the San Francisco skyline, Alcatraz Island, and the Marin Headlands.
Our next destination was Ghirardelli Square, a historic landmark in San Francisco's Fisherman's Wharf neighbourhood. Originally a chocolate factory and the headquarters of the Ghirardelli Chocolate Company, it has transformed into a vibrant shopping and dining hub, boasting various restaurants, shops, and boutiques.
Navigating through the narrow streets of San Francisco, particularly en route to iconic spots like Ghirardelli Square, is an adventure in itself. The city's steeply inclined narrow streets and the sluggish pace of traffic can make the journey quite an experience. It took us a whopping 15 minutes to cover just 200 meters! Descending was no less of a challenge. It felt like descending a winding spiral staircase, slowly and cautiously manoeuvring through the blind curves.
Do watch our YouTube video of the famous zigzag drive!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DdWSTL8KkF0
Travel tip: If you plan to visit on the weekend, be prepared for parking challenges. Luckily, the Ghirardelli Ice Cream and Chocolate Restaurant complex offers basement parking for its patrons. After parking, we soaked in the natural beauty of the surroundings, including stunning views of the San Francisco Bay, the Pacific Ocean, and the lush hills and mountains.
Our visit to Ghirardelli wouldn't be complete without indulging in their ice cream delights. My wife, son, and I opted for the World-Famous Hot Fudge Sundae with Vanilla ice cream, adorned with handcrafted hot fudge, cream, diced almonds, a cherry, and a milk chocolate Caramel Square, totalling 970 calories. My brother planned to share with his wife the 'Lands End' Caramel Brown Sundae, featuring a full-sized chocolate brownie, vanilla ice cream, and a generous serving of whipped cream, caramel sauce, chocolate sauce, a cherry, and a large banana, packing a whopping 1750 calories each. My sister-in-law insisted on having a full portion for herself and a cup of drinking chocolate (490 calories), bringing the grand total to 2240 calories.
What we didn’t know was the portion size!
Surprisingly, the 'Land End Sundae' proved to be an 'endless' challenge, and they couldn't even conquer half of the colossal portion. As for us, we valiantly finished our cups, refusing to let such decadence go to waste. What an unforgettable experience, brimming with exceptional entertainment value.
In contrast, at the table next to us was a family of four. Husband and wife ordered the Lands End Sundae and others ordered a cup of ice cream. The husband finished his platter and ordered a strawberry cone. Then he polished off more than half of the Lands End platter that his wife couldn’t consume. We were awestruck.
For those with health-conscious minds, a pro tip: Pair your Lands End Sundae Glutton Ice Cream Platter with a Diet Coke to strike the perfect balance between indulgence and keeping your diet on track!
Do you have a fun travel tale to narrate? Share with us in the comments below or email it to editor@silvertalkies.com
Calling our Members to Write for Us!
Silver Talkies Members get a unique chance to get published with us. We welcome travelogues, family recipes, memoirs, oral history accounts, short stories, poems, humour and personal essays, tips on living well, and if you are a qualified subject matter expert, then your thoughts on your chosen topics as well. Please email us at connect@silvertalkies.com to know more!
Musings on Karma’s action and its consequences by our member
Karma is conceived as mere action, but, in reality, it comprises both action and its consequences. Here, action includes thoughts, words, and deeds. Every action we take is like a seed that will produce results in our lifetime or future lives. We can't explain why actions have results or when they'll happen.
For instance, in a mishap, not everyone involved may face the same consequences. The concept of cause and effect governs our lives. In this sense, karma is a precise science, leaving no room for omission or error in karma accounting. Karma works over many lifetimes. The seeds of karma stay with the subtle body, even after the physical body dies.
There are three types of Karma, as described by Sri Sri Ravishankar Guruji:
1. Prarabdha Karma: Ripe karma about to fruitify in this lifetime.
2. Sanchita Karma: Accumulated karma acquired over various lives, yet to bear fruit.
3. Aagaami Karma: New karma planted, which will bear fruit later.
1. Law of Cause and Effect: Actions have consequences.
A woman in her fifties fell from her fourth-floor apartment window while cleaning it. She fell between the concrete wall of the party hall and the garden area. She missed hitting the concrete walls by a few inches. She broke her back and legs. She was in the hospital for many months and bedridden for a year. Despite the major injury, she can now walk without help. It's truly a miracle. So Karma works in a subtle way.
2. Law of Creation: We can create a brighter future through positive actions.
Example: This real story of Arunima Sinha is worth noting. She lost her leg and stayed in the hospital for four months. Despite this, she didn't feel sorry for herself. Instead, she worked hard and climbed Mount Everest. She received the Padma Shri Award in 2015.
3. Law of Humility: Avoid blaming others and accept faults.
This law warns us to be humble and not blame somebody for anything and everything. Like blaming the weather for some minor changes in weather as per nature. Similarly, accept your own faults and try not to pass the buck to somebody else to cover personal faults. to attract bad Karma.
4. Law of Growth: Karma can lead to unexpected heights in life.
In 1964, a middle-class family's oldest son, one of 12 children, got a job at LIC. He earned Rs.600/- per month after completing 10th Standard. This was a sizeable sum in those days. The family was happy when their son started supporting them early in his life. But, after working for 2 years, he decided to go back to school and study engineering. The family was hit hard by two surprises: losing their monthly income of 600 rupees and not having enough money to support their son's Engineering course. It was beyond their capacity. But the boy had a firm goal to come up in life. He received a scholarship and finished his Chemical Engineering degree. He ranked third in his graduating class, joined reputed firms and never looked back! This shows how Karma can also take a person to unbelievable new heights in life.
5. Law of Responsibility: Take responsibility for your actions.
In a house, husband and wife were frequently quarrelling due to an ego clash. After that, they were not on talking terms for many days. During a fight, the wife blamed the neighbour, hoping to win over her husband. Blaming others for misunderstandings or faults doesn't solve clashes between people. These fights cause a lot of negative emotions in the mind and this will have a spiralling effect on the health of those people. A prolonged harbouring of such bad emotions will also attract two major setbacks. When you have negative thoughts about someone, they can sense it and feel negative too. Negative thoughts can also cause visible psychosomatic issues in a person over time.
6. Law of Connection: Past, present, and future are interconnected.
This law is based on the idea that everything in your life is connected. It includes the past, present, and future.
7. Law of Focus: Remain focused on goals to avoid distractions.
This Law tells us to stay focused on the main goal and not get distracted by other things.
8. Law of Giving and Hospitality: Charity and kindness bring positive karma.
Offering Daana is held in high esteem in Hinduism and other religions too. When we help deserving people through our charity, we feel positive and blessed. It's good Karma. This does not need any additional explanations or examples.
9. Law of Here and Now: Living in the present relieves past negative thoughts.
Living in the present is a commonly advised principle. If we stay focused on the present moment, we won't waste energy on negative thoughts or events from the past. This helps us avoid hurting ourselves and losing focus on our current tasks. This approach also helps us be more vigilant in our daily lives to lead the right path.
10. Law of Change: Avoid dwelling on past negative experiences.
This reminds us of the dangers of dwelling on past bad karma or bad experiences. Such repeated dwelling on bad memories is likely to recreate the same past experience. This is another offshoot of this. We should practice shifting our minds away from such dangerous topics to avoid such mishaps.
11. Law of Patience and Reward: Persistence leads to big achievements.
We need to be persistent in our effort to reach the goal by performing positive karmas. A stray single thought cannot reach big achievements without concerted persistent efforts.
12. Law of Significance and Inspiration: Inner inspiration can lead to extraordinary feats.
To reduce bad karma, one can think mindfully, ask forgiveness, forgive others, stay fit, live in the present, and do duties without attachment to outcomes.
In conclusion, as the Dalai Lama wisely said, "Take care of your thoughts because they become words. Words become actions, actions become habits, habits become character, and character becomes your destiny, which shapes your life."
Remember, being happy is a matter of choice, not destiny.
Photographs courtesy: Unsplash & Pixabay
Calling Silver Talkies Members to Write for Us!
Silver Talkies Members get a unique chance to get published in our digital magazine. We welcome travelogues, family recipes, memoirs, oral history accounts, short stories, poems, humour and personal essays, tips on living well and if you are a qualified subject matter expert then your thoughts on your chosen topics as well. Email us at connect@silvertalkies.com to know more!
Intergenerational dialogues rock our boat. And the ramp too! Here’s all about collaborating on fashion between generations at our upcoming mega event — Samvaad: Let’s Get Social 2023!
Ravi Acharya never quite thought he would find himself walking down the ramp in a fashion show. But he is all set to do that this Saturday, as Silver Talkies celebrates Samvaad- Let's Get Social 2023. Samvaad is a unique event that brings together members of the Silver Talkies Club and the younger generation. The event focuses on active ageing and cooperation between different generations.
What made Ravi agree to a ramp walk? His candid reply is that with fewer inhibitions and a lifetime of learning, why not try this out too? Ravi is no stranger to intergenerational associations, having been part of a social movement with many youngsters in his neighbourhood. Many members of The Silver Talkies Club, like Ravi, are trying new experiences at Samvaad. They are participating in a fashion show, a musical extravaganza, an art show, a dance, and a theatre performance.
WHAT IS SAMVAAD- LET'S GET SOCIAL 2023
The theme of World Elder’s Day 2023 (which was on Oct 1) is "Fulfilling the Promises of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights for Older Persons: Across Generations." By the mid-2050s in India, we will have more people aged 65 and above than those under 15. SAMVAAD -- Let's Get Social 2023 will present talented seniors from the Silver Talkies Club, working with the youth in an attempt to change mindsets and turn stereotypes on their heads.
One of the highlights at Samvaad is the fashion show called Journey Back to Youth. In this show, members of the Silver Talkies Club will walk the runway, styled and choreographed by students from the JD School of Design powered by JD Institute of Fashion Technology. This special show tells the story of life, featuring the best of each life stage and their values. It shows how each generation adapts to the present. With stylists and designers of today and models who have gained all the wisdom of the world, this show is definitely one of a kind.
Homai Baria, an enthusiastic Silver Talkies Club member from Chennai is all set to twirl on stage, something close to her heart from the younger days. Homai's first feel of fashion was at 18, when she was "full of josh" and went for an evening outing with a cousin after visiting the beauty parlour. "I was wearing a pretty mini dress, high heels, matching earrings and accessories. We danced away the night and I felt on top of the world," Homai says. Since then, the vibrant grandmother, dancer and actor has not consciously followed fashion but has always been aware of the trends. Kurtas, midi dresses and churidars were her regular wear, much like Mumtaz, her fashion icon of that time.
"Mumtaz's beehive hairdo, churidars and short tops and dupattas were the rage of that time."- Homai Baria, Silver Talkies Club member
Ravi found one of the students he was working with resonating his own interpretation of fashion or at least personal style. "The student admired her grandmother's fashion sense and loved her neat and crisp cotton sarees." It reminded Ravi of the habit of neatness he inherited from his own father, a well-groomed gentleman, whose way of being immaculately dressed had a deep impact on his own life."
For stylist Anshul Rander too, the older generation has been an inspiration. "My grandmother has been a great inspiration throughout my life, influencing my fashion choices as a child, and even encouraging me to pursue fashion designing. Even at the age of 85, she was perfectly skilled in threading a needle and stitching or making amends in older garments. Upcycling is a very important value I've learnt from her," Anshul says.
Suma M, Academic Manager, JD School of Design powered by JD Institute of Fashion Technology, says the highlight of the event is the focus on the seniors who are illustrating the beauty of intergenerational connections. "In today’s time, every group of elderly is becoming fashion forward and have a deep inclination towards technology. Be it asking gazillion questions about mobile phones, smart watches or TV to their kids or grandkids or learning to experiment with their outfits and style by imbibing the energy of youngsters, the elderly population shows the impact that today’s generation is making and how the learning channel is both ways."
"In a world often divided by generational gaps, this fashion show fosters empathy, understanding, and shared experiences that break down the barriers, and showcase how we are all connected, regardless of our age.”
- Suma M, Academic Manager, JD School of Design powered by JD Institute of Fashion Technology.
Being understood by the younger generation boosts energy levels and broadens horizons. During SAMVAAD-Let's Get Social 2023 preparations, it was fascinating to hear stories of participating members adding new words to their vocabulary, such as "Bumble", during rehearsals with young professionals. SAMVAAD means "conversations." Silver Talkies created SAMVAAD for meaningful conversations that promote awareness, exclusivity, and inclusion. SAMVAAD- Let's Get Social 2023 is an opportunity for two generations to come closer, collaborate and in the process, gain empathy and compassion towards each other.
- Nidhi Chawla, CEO & Co-Founder, Silver Talkies
"I really feel fashion is what you make of it," says Homai, who loves all things bright and beautiful and celebrates age and the opportunities it has brought her, very often through the bonds she shares with younger people around her. There couldn't be a better summary for this vibrant intergenerational event than that.
We hope you are going for Samvaad-Let's Get Social 2023. Share the joy with us by posting your thoughts about the show here or on our social media page!
Our ongoing series on Dementia resources and expert guides on how they can help both persons with dementia and the caregiver.
My mother has Alzheimer’s disease, and I am not able to cope with the diagnosis. I constantly worry about her, and I am overwhelmed and confused when it comes to planning her long-term care.
My husband wants to go out at odd hours. If I say no, he gets upset, and we argue a lot. How do I deal with him?
My mom doesn’t seem to be interested in any activities. I have bought puzzles, art kits, books, but nothing seems to interest her, even the television.
My wife keeps asking the same questions again and again, and even when I answer her, she does not stop asking questions. This has started frustrating me.
I am caring for my father, and I have a full-time job and family to look after. I am exhausted, and this is taking a toll on my health.
These are some common comments and questions Amrita Patil Pimpale, founder of Echoing Healthy Ageing (EHA), a social enterprise working in the Dementia care sector has heard over the years. Mumbai-based Echoing Healthy Ageing offers home-based therapies for the elderly with cognitive impairment, counselling, and dementia care training for family caregivers and professionals. "Dementia affects 7.4% of India's population above 60 years, with approximately 88 lakh Indians impacted. Training workshops educate attendees about leading causes, detection, diagnosis, prevention, and effective caregiving for dementia patients," Amrita adds.
A lot of caregivers wonder if they would have time for workshops in an already packed life. But taking out time may help in the long run. At EHA, the sessions are usually three hours long. They are helpful for family and friends of people with dementia who may not have much experience with it. The suggestions are practical. They focus on using the available resources effectively. You can use what you learn to train the caregiver at home or care for your loved one in a facility.
EHA also runs a Memory Cafe, one of the rare few in the country. Memory Cafes are common in the West. They use art and music therapy to stimulate the mind. Seniors and caregivers can enjoy a safe and cosy environment there. The aim is to assist individuals with dementia and their caregivers to connect and decrease loneliness and isolation. This is done by spending time with others in a similar setting. The activities are aimed at relaxation and having fun.
What is a Memory Café?
A memory café is a monthly gathering of individuals with memory loss, their caregivers, or friends and family in a safe, supportive, and engaging environment. You can make friends and interact without worry. Around the world, Memory Cafes are places where people can socialize and chat. Some also offer activities like art, music, crafts, and writing. Others may include an educational component; speakers are brought in to provide resources. Most meet once or twice a month for an hour or two to allow members to get to know one another.
In the late 1990s, Bère Miesen, a Dutch psychiatrist, created the first memory café in the Netherlands. The café raises awareness and fights stigmas linked to dementia. It also offers support for patients and their caregivers.
Dave Weidderich says the concept came to the US in 2008, after Europe. He is the founder of the Memory Café Directory, which lists and gives information about these meeting places. Memory cafés are not a form of respite care. Instead, they provide a space for caregivers and care recipients to socialize and connect with others facing similar situations.
Amrita points out why they're important. "Loneliness and social isolation are growing problems in our country, especially seniors. The recent Lancet study says that being socially isolated increases the risk of developing dementia later in life. The need for out-of-the-box thinking is acute. In fact, instead of only prescribing a drug for someone, doctors in the UK, and Canada are now prescribing social activities. They are sending them to the local bingo hall or museum, recommending therapeutic art or asking them to sing in a choir."
At EHA, Mumbai Memory Café sessions are for seniors to experience art, music, and reminiscence therapy in group settings. "We welcome people with dementia and their caregivers to our inclusive events. They can enjoy group sessions together, working on art projects or singing their favorite songs."
Are there Memory Cafes in other places in India? We found very few credible mentions.
The Friday Memory Cafe in Pune is an initiative of Madhurbhav, which runs a care home for senior citizens. The Udbodh Project in Kochi also offers a Dementia Memory cafe as part of its activities. You can look up dementia resources across India by clicking here.
How do these resources help the person with dementia and the caregiver?
Memory cafes and training can help not just the person with dementia but also the caregiver.
"Caregiver education is crucial due to the diverse nature of dementia. Families need practical insights and support to handle the challenges effectively. Compassion fatigue and unpredictability in caregiving emphasize the need for training and support groups. Untrained caregivers can inadvertently provide inferior care, leading to violence, neglect, hygiene issues, poor nutrition, falls, and associated injuries. "Training can prevent mistakes and improve the lives of dementia patients," says Soumya Lakshmi, a Senior Gerontology Consultant in Bangalore. Soumya is currently writing a book called ‘Diary of a Gerontologist’.
"Dealing with dementia requires an understanding of its broad spectrum which encompasses various types such as frontotemporal dementia, Lewy body dementia, and vascular dementia. Each type has its unique symptoms and manifests differently in different individuals. Dementia doesn't have clear symptoms like cancer. Instead, it causes different behavioural problems in each person. According to Soumya, forgetfulness and memory loss are common symptoms of dementia. However, behavioural problems can vary from person to person.
During the early stages, behavioural problems can include eating, restlessness, and sleep issues. According to Soumya, it's important to know what's coming. Every day can bring new challenges and make people more vulnerable to compassion fatigue. Unfortunately, I have witnessed many families behaving violently towards their elderly parents due to exhaustion, sleep deprivation, and the erratic, hallucinating, and wandering behaviour of their parent, which is a very common issue.
Soumya points this out with reference to combating caregiver burnout.
"Combating caregiver burnout requires periodic breaks, governmental support, and well-being focus. Caregivers should continue their lives while receiving professional help and training. Caregiving training must encompass a holistic approach, integrating theoretical knowledge with practical experience. Social integration (as memory cafes may offer) and emotional well-being are key components to slow down dementia progression," she concludes.
If you are a caregiver, have you tried any of the above for your loved one with Dementia? Tell us in the comments below.
-- With inputs from Neha Kamalapur, who interviewed Soumya Lakhani.
Note: The cover image (courtesy Pixabay) is for representation purposes only. Memory cafe sessions are not necessarily held in a cafe. They can be held at a care centre, in an institute or any similar venue)
Tongue firmly in cheek, Yashpal Mehta humorously skirts around the garment that not only provided practicality but was also something that added to the charm of the Mumbai monsoon.
Many rains ago someone eloquently said, “ I shall make salaams at the sight of a skirt before considering the quality of the cloth”. The context in this famous quote is that a lady has to be respected irrespective of wealth, status and features. I am all for it, but where on earth is the skirt?
In the good old days, the first showers of Mumbai rains brought about a change in the wardrobe and presto, out came the skirt. The school teachers’ sedate sari gave way to a single-coloured skirt, and the staff at the office turned either to an A-Line or a pencil skirt to avoid getting wet especially if the commute was by the much-used trains. Wait for the evening and you would be greeted with a pleated or a bubbled skirt with tops to match. The beaches were dotted with sarongs and their ilk. No more dresses, and salwar kameezes, even the most down-to-earth girl would flaunt a flared or a circle for the entire four months of monsoons.
The choice of a midi, maxi or mini skirt differentiated the avant-garde from the daring. But did the skirt have a kingdom outside of Mumbai? I recall an incident during my internship days while doing my Chartered Accountancy which was both hilarious and worthy of narration.
We were asked to go to the Delhi office to complete an assignment with two other fashionable girls from the Mumbai office. The senior from the Delhi office was a married guy whose Gauna (a ritual in which the girl goes to her husband’s home) was still to be performed. The girls in our team wanted to shop at the famous Ajmal Khan Road Market and turned out in mini skirts much to the embarrassment of our Delhi colleague who refused to walk along with us and stayed ten meters away throughout the shopping sojourn. It became a classic humorous episode recounted in the Mumbai office for a long time. Well, not for all is the finery of the skirt.
These days, the ubiquitous types of denim and jeans are such a bane of fashion that I wonder what makes them so popular. I lament the lack of variety with complete disregard for the gender or size of the person wearing it.
But why are we even skirting the issue of appearance?
A young girl was once asked what she would like in her partner, appearance, money or status and her honest reply was appearance any time! I am the same.
Clothes maketh both men and women and if you ask me, nothing adds to a woman’s appearance better than the skirt. Sadly this time, it’s been a month into the monsoon and I have still not spotted the once-favoured and much-liked skirt among Mumbai women in monsoon times.
Photographs courtesy Unsplash
Calling our Members to Write for Us!
Silver Talkies Members get a unique chance to get published with us. We welcome travelogues, family recipes, memoirs, oral history accounts, short stories, poems, humour and personal essays, tips on living well and if you are a qualified subject matter expert then your thoughts on your chosen topics as well. Email us at connect@silvertalkies.com to know more!
A passionate squad of seasoned cyclists and instructors, piloted by urologist Dr Ali Poonawala volunteer to teach the art of cycling to many, including older adults at the Bangalore Bicycling School.
When the ban on motorized vehicles inside the premises of Bengaluru’s green lung space Cubbon Park was implemented in 2015, an idea brewed in the hearts of Dr Ali Poonawala, Chidambaram Subramanian and Anil Kadsur from the Bangalore Bikers Group. Why not teach people of all age groups how to cycle instead? They came together to start the Bangalore Bicycling School (BBS) to provide training sessions and cycles to interested learners, including older adults, free of cost every weekend.
The school runs its sessions in three locations – Sadashivanagar and Begur on Saturdays and Cubbon Park on Sundays.
On a clear Sunday morning, I had a charming visit to Cubbon Park to meet the group– spotting cyclists, skateboarders, joggers, and runners outstretched in all directions. A quiet road near the Karnataka State Lawn Tennis Association in Cubbon Park led me to Dr. Poonawala, Parag Patankar, and a group of trainers and female volunteers from PedalShaala teaching learners to ride the saddle. PedalShaala is a free-for-all bicycle training program launched by the Directorate of Urban Land Transport (DULT) and Karnataka Bicycle Dealers’ Association (KBDA) in March 2023.
The oldest trainee for the day was Roshni, a 72-year-old Yoga teacher and swimmer. Despite the sporty accomplishments in her life, cycling jitters were not a stranger to her as she sat on the cycle for the second time in her life after a gap of 60 years. In two hours of extensive and heedful training, I saw a fervent spark reignite within her.
Roshni’s cycling dreams were triggered by her visits overseas. “My husband was against the idea of me learning to cycle at my age. He said no, you will break your bones. My family had all cycled on our trip to Amsterdam with 2000 cycles parked in that area. I was in San Francisco when I found out about Bangalore Bicycling School online. The minute I stepped foot in Bangalore, I met Dr. Ali and joined the school!”, says an ecstatic Roshni.
Saraswati, the financial head of a company, was in her fourth session. By now, the sessions had instilled enough confidence in her to scoot down the roads of Sadashivnagar.
“I never thought in my life I would do this. To me, it is so empowering that I can do this. The trainers took me as I am. Suma (her trainer) is so friendly and welcoming. I wait for Saturday to arrive from Friday night itself!”
For many older women, learning how to cycle is a way of empowerment and emancipation. For some older men like Dr Muni Swamappa, it is an attempt at rekindling his youth. Dr Swamappa is “75-year-old only” and has been riding his bike for over a month now.
The trainers at Bangalore Bicycling School apply several strategies in their teaching and follow an extensive 6-step process – mounting, dismounting, resting position, establishing equilibrium, scooting, and pedalling. The golden rule is to perpetually slant your cycle towards the left while landing and relaxing the foot after applying brakes.
The trainers ensure that every step of the training is completed to perfection and provide immense encouragement and reassurance for the trainees to persevere, no matter what their age is.
I was invited to a personal training session, where Dr Poonawala assisted me to strengthen my turning technique and taught me to perform the half-pedal.
How has learning to cycle impacted older adults?
Patankar, who has been part of the school since the beginning, believes that the introduction of battery-assisted bikes has proven to be an enormous boon for the elderly. Earlier older adults had fears of a decline in endurance while cycling. Patankar believes the electrically assisted bikes have significantly reduced that anxiety.
As for learning how to cycle, most older adults feel enthused about an activity that is considered unusual for them. In fact, he and the trainers observe that older learners learn very enthusiastically and are more ardent than younger people about turning up for class and putting in the required effort.
Most older students come with three primary fears – the fear of falling, the fear of derision as a result of social stigma around the elderly taking up any sport or activity, and the fear of not being good enough. The central motto of the school is safety – and learners are taught how to balance effectively and how to fall safely, should such a situation occur.
A standout memory for me was witnessing a touching exchange between the exuberant Roshni and an astonished onlooker who was around her age and peering at the learners. Dr Poonawala and Roshni warmly urged her to join them next weekend. The onlooker expressed apprehensions about her age and alluded that her saree may not be considered fit for sportswear. Roshni reassured her, creating a safe and encouraging space for the passerby to try something new –a poignant moment of bonding.
I’ll carry the memory with me for a while.
Connect with the Bangalore Bicycling School here: https://www.facebook.com/learncycling/
Cover image courtesy: BBS
Have you tried learning an activity at a later age? Share your stories with us in the comments below.
“Caregiving changed me, making me more honest with myself.” — An author shares her journey of looking after two super seniors in her life.
It's 12.30 am. I'm awake and alert on the attendant's bed in the hospital. An elder at home has had surgery, minor but painful given her age. She takes a frustrated turn to make herself comfortable and, hesitantly because she feels terrible about interrupting my half nap once again, asks me to call the nurse. I move to her side with an involuntary sigh that mixes many things — the twilight zone of sleep, irritability, exhaustion and guilt that I'm feeling these.
Instinct tells me she feels the same too, caught as we both are in a situation we do not wish to be in — in multiple different ways.
I became a caregiver some years ago to two frail, dependent elders now living with us. Almost overnight, my family's world became different. At first, I didn't quite fathom the depth of care and work needed to look after two ailing elders in a multi-generational home. Yes, I chafed at the life adjustments that came, creeping upon us in multiple ways we hadn't even imagined. But naively I thought, I could handle it all, without breaking a sweat.
I'm sometimes an impatient woman. But with caregiving, I discovered compassion and even patience by the bucketload. I discovered shutting out the world with headphones when I needed to withdraw from the world of instructions and demands and focus on work. I became kinder.
But I also found a side that I didn't know existed.
I was rude at times. Not to the elders but to others around. I was irritable. I often wished I didn't have to do what I was doing and cook what I was cooking because their dietary demands called for it. And very often, I let it show on other family members.
Who exactly is a caregiver? Is it a term you assign to yourself only when you feed, bathe, and care for someone with a debilitating, progressive disease?
Does the term caregiver apply when you have the responsibility of someone's care always at the back of your mind? When it impacts your decisions; the weight shifting how you live your life and choose your plans. Does cooking food to suit older, fussier palates, making neat packets of white-yellow-pink pills and labelling them according to mealtimes, supervising help, working the phones to organise and manage groceries, medicines, attendants in eight-hour shifts, count as caregiving? Do missed work opportunities you don't have the time to take on make the cut?
Caregiving is a sum of all those parts.
It isn't only changing the dressing or supervising medication or rushing to the emergency room when the elder experiences what feels like chest pain. It is the minutes spent on the phone reaching out to a doctor to discuss side effects of a medication, maintaining checkup schedules and blood sugar readings. Listening to a laundry list of foods that induce nausea-bowel movement-heaviness and mentally deciding alternate meals. Stepping in to change a soiled nightie with the utmost dignity and love you can drum up for both of you.
Caregiving is about stocking the fridge with enough tomatoes because the elders at home couldn't do without those and making sure the larder always has Marie Biscuits and porridge stocked. They need those too. It is standing outside the bathroom door because the person inside would feel worse if you stepped in to help but confident because you're on standby.
These are things you can't always hire for.
Caregiving is the minute details that carry little time and effort on their own but add up to a voluminous to-do list. One that never gets over because it's always getting added to.
Globally the burden of caregiving mainly falls mainly on women. An ILO study on the global care crisis from 2018 told me that women from Asia and the Pacific spent 4.1 times more on unpaid care work than men. It would take 210 years to close the gender gap in unpaid care work, the study said. But the burden of caregiving is also more than those numbers. It is in the frustration of missed chances and the constant exhaustion that comes with it, given that the back of your mind is always a stacked-up checklist.
Quite unexpectedly, caregiving has been my biggest life lesson. I thought I was a blunt person. Caregiving has unmasked me and made me blunt with myself. It's ok not to feel ok about being there all the time, I tell myself. It's alright to have compassion fatigue, it’s perfectly human to wish you were anywhere but here.
It’s imperative to wear your oxygen mask first.
I've started drawing boundaries with the household around me, making my not-so-soothing voice heard. These bold, demarked parts are still quite fluid because spells of dizziness, hypoglycemia, chest pains, stomach ailments or the emotional support a vulnerable older adult needs, don't go by schedule.
Caregiving taught me that what we need to learn is to understand our limits and address them honestly. It has taught me to ask for help and admit that it's ok to manage only till the point of my capacity. Sometimes the help you wish for isn’t available but asking for it aloud helps get some load off your chest. Of course, I still slip and fall through the cracks that are hard to claw out of. But more often than not, I'm honest about the chinks in my armour and unafraid to show them- to myself.
And, to an extent, even to the family around me.
It makes me human and perhaps, even makes me a better caregiver.
Image courtesy: Milligerova/Pixabay
Have you been a caregiver or are you one now? Share your journey with us in the comment section below or email us on editor@silvertalkies.com
Trainer, casting director Anita Mithra & actor, and model Kalpana Rao share some entertainment industry tips for newcomers.
Anita Mithra is a marketing consultant, trainer and casting director. She has been using theatre as an effective tool for training and interventions. As a casting director, she has been the starting point for many in the modelling, acting and entertainment industry.
Here’s a candid chat with Mithra on older people making their space in the entertainment industry.
Are older people getting more visibility in the entertainment industry now, especially ads? Does it make it easier for older adults to step in?
Yes, you will notice that in Indian advertising, dadis and nanis are all in demand now. But it takes a lot of patience and determination to get work. This is because people don't get selected just because they put their good photographs out there. The director has a vision, and the selection is done according to that. If the casting is for a family, for example, then everyone in the 'family' should have a resemblance to each other, and the choice would be based on that. The result must serve the script's interest in the film/ad and not the actor/model, no matter how good the photograph is. As a new entrant, you must keep doing auditions to find that break. So you must put yourself out there and keep trying auditions for various formats (films, ads, shorts) until you find something.
How do you do these auditions?
The initial auditions are done on your phone by yourself. It requires a little knowledge of how you should shoot yourself, the right lighting and a certain kind of packaging. Aspirants usually do these videos on their own. When shooting videos, you have to do your research and figure it out by trial and error. You need to learn gradually how to deliver in a way that the production agency finds it easy to understand whether you suit the role or not. Those kinds of things require practice and knowledge. Some people have it instinctively but most people need a bit of practice, which comes after a few times.
How do people circulate photos and videos?
Through social media. You can find casting groups on Instagram and Facebook. There are WhatsApp groups you can join. Honestly, I find the best way is to ask people, so if you have a fellow actor, ask them who they're dealing with, and send your profile there. It's a networking exercise.
Is this people can depend on for a second career?
No, you cannot depend on it at all. By and large, I would say 99% treat it as a hobby. It is fun. And occasionally you get some good money too.
What are the reality checks?
It's a very physically taxing profession if you do it full time. Because your shooting call can start at five in the morning and you sometimes go all night. So you have to be able to travel and stay awake and all that can be quite physically taxing. You have to be able to be prepared for all that.
Having said that, with the increased demand, many people are keen on this field. I’m working with a client, and for a shoot, they asked for six people last year, all older adults. This year the same client has asked for 18 older adults. I have sent them 80 options. The numbers should tell you how many people are available.
It is important to determine your worth in the market and establish a rate that is not based on your previous experience. If you were a CEO before doesn't mean that you're going to be paid more here. You will be treated as a newcomer. So you have to be aware of the market trend and adapt when it comes to money or long hours.
Remember that most production houses are poorly equipped to handle children or older people. They treat you like everybody else. So you have to look after yourself. You need to bring your medications along if you’re taking any; if you are diabetic and need to eat on time, carry some food with you. Self-care is very important. You have to be proactive but patient. You need to get used to last-minute requests from production houses. So you will need to adapt to how the industry works.
On an average, what is the money like for a newcomer?
Starting from around Rs 7000 for the day, the money could go up to Rs 25,000 for the day, depending on the shoot, work duration and other factors.
What is the age group that is more in demand among older adults?
I would say 60 plus because the directors want to see grey hair and lines. So a very well-maintained 56-year-old will not cut it if the role is for a sweet, older grandparent.
But age is not a bar to an inning in this industry if you have the physical capability. I have somebody in her 80s, and people love her performance. So it depends on the person too.
What are the upsides to a career in the entertainment industry?
You need a lot of patience and determination, but even if you do only one ad in your whole life, that experience is something you will never forget! You will meet a completely new set of people. The experience of being on a set is completely different to anything.
I would recommend this as a second-inning option, so long as you don't depend on it for your livelihood but as an add-on. Unless, of course, things are different, and you have managed to crack it. I’d say most enjoy the experience and let it be an interesting hobby.
Good to know: Mithra is the force behind The GirlsQuad- A one-minute theatre show featuring 32 women and 48 stories, where Silver Talkies Club members Jayanti, Madhu, Rani, Rema, Shaila, Shakuntala and Vijaya performed along with others. In celebration of women, the play explored senior women and their relationships with the younger women in their lives. Silver Talkies created an opportunity for its members who were interested in acting to participate in the same. To know more about what members can benefit from, click here.
Kalpana Rao, businesswoman turned successful actor, moved to Mumbai to create her successful second innings as an actor and model in her 50s. She had always wanted to be in front of the camera, so her confidence level was always high, and she decided to make the important but unusual move.
Here’s what she had to say:
Networking with people is what helped me find work.
There is no particular right way to approach casting agencies and model coordinators. Google search and scout Instagram and Facebook for casting groups and casting directors. Email or DM them with info about yourself and your pictures. Big names are obviously genuine, but that does not mean others are fake. Trial and error teach a person but do use your judgement.
Few things to remember: First of all, a person needs to have the passion and desire to be in front of the camera. Secondly, it's not a 9-5 schedule. They'll call for a shoot at 4 am and even 9 pm for a full night shift. We often have to wait hours to get called on set, so you must have patience. Use this time to network and learn.
There are no guarantees; this is one of the most uncertain fields. There are times I have gone through long stretches without getting any shoots. What one is supposed to do is network. It is what gives us the right contacts to get work but again no guarantees; it's a game of patience. Also, don’t hesitate to reach out and put yourself out there.
Kalpana Rao speaks on her career in the book Rethink Ageing by Silver Talkies co-founders, Reshmi & Nidhi. “If you are focused on something, then work towards it, despite what people say and don’t ever think of age. She now has several ad films and even roles in films with Shah Rukh Khan and Rajinikanth behind her. Find the book here.
Silver Talkies Club Member Lalitha Desikan shares her thoughts on retirement, a sentiment many may echo with.
Retirement? A term long associated with old age, slowed pace, failing health, and a quiet lifestyle.
"Oh good! Put your feet up and just relax".
Great! "You will now have time to stop and smell the roses".
These were comments from people on hearing about my choosing to retire. But ask me - the person who has stepped down – retired! -- from a well-loved, satisfying job, what she feels, and I think the response may be very different!
As you may have guessed, I am in that phase of my life.
I spent more than three decades in a job (do I even want to call it a job?), which has taught me so much about life, people, and growing minds. A job which I thoroughly enjoyed, which gave me dignity, respect, recognition and, most of all, a feeling of self–worth.
Was the money that came with it and will now be no more, keeping me at work long after the 'normal' retirement age? Not really, I can say honestly. However, it did help build my nest egg for old age! Was it power, recognition, or awe … I don't think so again.
I enjoyed my work because it gave me confidence, and I loved the 'respect' it brought. But does it mean I want to cling on to these ephemeral things? Am I really so self-centred? So self–absorbed? Why am I feeling so down in the dumps when my retirement days seem closer than it was a month ago? I shed tears, contemplated, did some soul-searching and think I have some answers.
I will miss the bonhomie, the laughter, and the lunch sessions with the management family. I will miss that 'incredible' feeling when the Head of the Institution tells me she is confident of my sincerity and ability. What I will also miss, I know now, are the interactions with the many people I have worked with. My association and dialogues with troubled/impossible/youngsters and teenagers. My feel-good factor when at the end of a long conversation – starting with denial but leading to self-realisation, it dawns on my student/teacher that there is light at the end of the tunnel.
The comfort with which they leave my room, the little notes and messages of thank you, the shared smile without words when my eyes ask a question, and the other responds in a crowded room – I think these are the things I will miss. Promises to stay in touch. Real now but which I know will fade with time; the professional but personal connection I have with many of my associates and students. I know that is what I will miss; that is what fills my eyes and chokes my throat.
Am I being silly, impractical, immature, or an emotional fool or will my feelings, too, go through the process of grief before there is acceptance and peace? I am practical enough to know I will find both, but I also know that one corner of my heart and mind will always treasure this never to be forgotten experience.
Do you identify with Lalitha's thoughts during retirement? How did you feel as you neared your retirement? Share it with us here
Images courtesy: Author
Cover image: Pixabay
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The Dera Baba Nanak - Sri Kartarpur Sahib Pilgrimage through the corridor between India and Pakistan is a dream for many. It is also an experience that tells you humanity is the same, despite the borders between them, writes Aarti David.
I recently had the privilege to visit the Kartarpur Sahib Gurudwara with a bunch of my school friends. It has indeed been one of the most memorable days of my life. Right from the moment we floated the idea of the trip to the day, we managed to get permission to visit. Everything seemed surreal. In fact, it still seems like it was a dream that came true. The thrill of crossing the border beside the religious pilgrimage made it even more enchanting for me.
We took a flight to Amritsar and then a tempo traveller that took us to Dera Baba Nanak ICP (Integrated Check Post). This is where one has to go through immigration from the Indian side. The protocol is the same as it is for any other international travel. The visit to the Dera Baba Nanak is a daylong affair, and no one is allowed to stay overnight. So my recommendation would be to plan your travel well so that you can make the most of this day and spend as much time as possible at the Gurudwara, bearing in mind that you need time for immigration and security checks at both India and Pakistan sides.
Gurdwara Dera Baba Nanak is located on the east bank of the Ravi River, roughly 1 kilometre from the Indo-Pakistan border. Kartarpur, Pakistan, is located on the river's western bank. Gurdwara Sri Kartarpur Sahib is located in Pakistan's Narowal region, approximately 4.5 km from the international border, near the historic town of Dera Baba Nanak, Gurdaspur, Punjab, India. The Indian portion of the Dera Baba Nanak - Sri Kartarpur Sahib corridor consists of a 4.1 km long four-lane roadway from Dera Baba Nanak to the international border and a modern Passenger Terminal Building (PTB) at the international border. Dera Baba Nanak is a city created by Sri Guru Nanak Dev Ji's devotees, who named it after their great ancestor. Kartarpur is where he spent the last 18 years of his life.
The Sri Kartarpur Sahib Corridor is a visa-free border crossing and a religious corridor connecting the two Gurudwaras in India and Pakistan. You must apply for travel permission from the MHA (Ministry of Home Affairs). Once you are granted permission to travel, you receive an electronic travel authorisation (ETA) which you are required to carry to Dera Baba Nanak ICP. You will also need to bring your passport for immigration. Indian pilgrims entering the corridor must pay US$ 20 at the entry point, so ensure you have this before you set out. The MHA website lists all the do's and dont's that must be adhered to while making this trip. Free-of-cost transportation and other services are available from India and when you cross the border en route to the Gurudwara.
As for us, as soon as we set foot across the border, the rain gods decided to give us a grand welcome and bless our journey. It poured incessantly throughout the time we were there at Dera Baba Nanak. However, this did not deter us or any other pilgrims from making the most of this opportunity that each of us had been bestowed with. We were well planned for the rains based on the unpredictable Delhi weather before we set out and had been smart enough to carry our umbrellas. This proved to be a blessing in disguise as we navigated our way across the Gurudwara premises. We did the Darshan, listened to the soulful Shabad by the Ragis and partook of the Kada Prasad on the way out. And I'm not the least bit ashamed to admit that I asked for it twice over and then even asked a friend to get it for me a third time. It was just so delicious and heavenly. We also got some packets of dry Prasad to carry home for family and friends.
The location of the gurudwara is on the land where Guru Nanak Devji used to farm. Legend has it that his disciples found flowers underneath a sheet the next morning when he left his body. His disciples performed the last rites as per the rituals. A samadhi was built in his remembrance inside the gurudwara; the Muslim disciples buried the flowers, and a grave exists at the spot outside. A well outside irrigated the fields in Sri Guru Nanak Dev Ji's time. It is called the Kuan Sahib, from where we had the holy water and carried some back home.
After the Darshan, we proceeded to the Langar hall, where we were served the most delicious food. The highlight for me was the sweet rice made with jaggery. Most of the people in the hall serving the langar were locals with very courteous and polite attitude and demeanour. When I asked for tea without milk (because I'm lactose intolerant), they were glad to make Kahwa, especially for me. Guru ka Langar is the most satisfying food one can ever consume. We were lucky to have this opportunity.
Not too far from the Langar hall is a small complex with a handful of shops selling food items, clothing and artefacts. Even though it was raining heavily, we all went to the shops to check out what was available. Among my friends, some picked up juttis (traditional footwear), some dry fruits, some sweets (their Sohan halwa tastes exactly like our Dhoda, only much sweeter), fridge magnets and some dress material. The shopkeepers were very friendly and eager to exchange a word and, of course, sell their goods.
On this trip, one realised that even though we may be divided by a border—we speak alike, look alike, dress alike and eat alike—People are basically all alike. My visit to the Gurudwara was a very fulfilling one. I felt extremely calm and light after. A trip made with childhood buddies is precious, and if it is to a place where Baba Nanak resided in the last years of his life, then that makes it priceless.
For more information, including the application process, visit here: https://prakashpurb550.mha.gov.in/kpr/
All images courtesy: Author
Have you visited this corridor and the Gurudwara? Is this or any other across-the-border place part of your bucket list? Share your thoughts with us in the comments below.
Ramzan is a time for fasting, self-discipline, prayer and reflection. It also celebrates community and coming together over food, an integral part of Ramzan traditions. Those who fast do not have food or water between sunrise and sunset for an entire month. Iftar is the meal to break the fast in the evening after sunset during prayers. Home chef Lamiya Amiruddin shares some Iftar recipes with us that have been part of the family for years.
A home chef based in Mumbai, Lamiya Amiruddin runs her own venture. Lamiya studied Catering & Food Technology at Kamla Nehru Polytechnic for Women in Hyderabad. Her cooking mixes timeless, age-old recipes with her own twists and interpretations. Lamiya comes from the Dawoodi Bohra community and a family of seasoned cooks, which influences her food in the most delectable way. She shares some regulars on her Iftar table during Ramzan, with the memories she and her sister grew up with.
Keema Samosa
The preparation of the keema filling gives off the freshest aromas - when we were kids, every time our cook, Papamma, would start her prep, we would be drawn to the kitchen - the fresh smell of chopped green onions, the fragrance of chopped coriander, the spicy freshly roasted and ground jeera and the tangy tempting squeeze of lime. We’d shovel spoonfuls of this while she would swat our hands away - Bas! Samose ke liye kuch nahi bachega! As we grew older and started observing Ramzan fasts, we couldn’t taste the filling anymore, but the aroma of frying samosas to this day indicates almost as much as the call for prayer that it’s time to break fast; it’s time for iftar. By the way, Papamma always saved us a few spoonfuls of filling to eat after iftar!
Ingredients
1 kg mutton or chicken keema (mince)
1 tsp ginger-garlic paste
1 bunch spring onion, finely chopped
Salt to taste
2-3 green chillies, finely chopped
1 tsp cumin powder
1 small bowl coriander, chopped
1 small bowl mint, chopped
Juice of one lime
1 packet samosapatti
2 tbsp flour (made into a paste with water)
Oil for frying
1 piece of coal
1 tsp ghee (clarified butter)
Method
Mix the keema with ginger-garlic paste and salt. Boil till it is tender, and all the water evaporates. Add spring onions, green chillies, coriander, mint, cumin powder and lime juice to the mince.
Heat a coal till red-hot, place it in the keema and pour hot ghee over the coal. Close the lid of the vessel and smoke the mince for 5 minutes. Take one strip of the samosa patti in the palm and fold one corner to form a pocket in the shape of a triangle. Fill the pocket with the mixture. Fold the rest of the strip in the same shape and stick the ends with the flour paste. Deep-fry the patties till golden brown and serve with lime wedges and tomato sauce.
Suffut
Suffut is a tradition in Lamiya’s family and an addition to the healthy food on her table. She warns that this isn’t exactly a children’s favourite, though she and the adults in her family love it. The dish is mainly prepared by Bohris from Surat in Gujarat, where Lamiya’s family originates from. It owes its origin to the Yemeni forefathers of the Dawoodi Bohra community. Traditionally made from lentil pancakes, Lamiya has substituted sada dosa here. You can also make it vegetarian if you wish by removing the mutton or chicken mince. Don't have dosa batter handy? You can also use bread instead of the dosa.
Ingredients
3 sada/plain dosas
1 large tub curd
300g mutton or chicken mince meat (omit if making vegetarian version)
I green chilli chopped (optional)
Half tsp ginger garlic paste
2 cucumbers grated
1 large carrot grated
Half a bunch spring onions, finely chopped
100g French beans, finely diced and boiled
1 small beetroot, boiled and grated (optional)
100g boiled peas (optional)
1 tomato, finely sliced (optional)
1 level tsp mustard powder steeped for 15 minutes in a tsp of warm water and beaten (Lamiya makes her own mustard that you can find here)
Half tsp sugar
Salt to taste
Method
Rub the ginger garlic paste on washed minced meat and boil with the green chilli.
Save the soup of boiled minced meat. Beat curd along with mustard paste, sugar, and salt. Lay one dosa on the serving dish, soak the dosa with some soup
Spread some seasoned curd on the soup-soaked dosa. Cover the dosa with the portion of mince meat and liberally sprinkle chopped spring onion and grated cucumber
Place the second dosa on top and repeat the same steps
Put the final dosa on top and soak again with soup and curd
Cover the whole dosa with all the prepared vegetables and the remaining mince in any preferred pattern
To add an Indian twist to this dish, spread a layer of spicy green chutney on the dosa before putting curd.
Cover image: Ahmed Sabry/Pixabay
Do you have Iftar dishes that are special to you? If you are fasting, how do you usually break your fast, and what do you have at dawn before it begins? Share your food memories with us here.
We don't see many older women in the public eye but that is now slowly and surely changing.
A few days ago, Indian Instagram's current toast (and justifiably so) @thezeenataman wrote a heartfelt post on older women: We see very few older women in the public eye. It's not something I thought about when I was young, but now that I myself am silver-haired, I feel their absence. It's a puzzling phenomenon, simply because older women mould, protect and nurture us in so many ways worthy of celebration. There is just no substitute for the wisdom of experience and years.
Aman wrote about the older women who have anchored her life – from her mother to her friends and stepmother. Her post touched many hearts. People shared about the dadis, nanis, aunts, nannies, older siblings and friends (even friends' moms) who have touched their lives.
Aman's post was about the impact of older women in her life, but her observation of their invisibility in the public eye is spot on. Women frequently become invisible as they age, their voices and experiences ignored or dismissed. Despite progress in some areas, older women remain underrepresented in many aspects of life, from media to products to policies.
Until recently, you'd have seen very few beauty or fashion magazine covers with an older woman. But in a small way, there is a change coming, propelled by increasing awareness, and the power of wisdom and economics that many older women hold.
Vogue's April 2023 cover features a striking image of Apo-Whang-Od, a traditional tattoo artist from the Philippines. She's 106 years old. Is it a sign of change? A one-off statement or part of a world rethinking ideals of beauty? We'd like to pin our hopes on the last one.
Women over 50 are consciously or unconsciously resisting invisibility. They own their age, flaunting the changes that come with it while laughing at saggier skin and extra belly fat. Many are working out more than ever and at their fittest best, living their lives exactly as they wish. It does not mean that prejudices have vanished, but it does indicate a long-awaited shift.
Aman is proof of this. She used to be one of Bollywood's sexiest actors. Now she's not afraid to talk about her silver hair or post a photo from a day she wasn't feeling well.
"Being young is wonderful but so is being old. It thrills me to see more and more silver-haired women challenge the status quo," she writes.
Aman is just as stylish, gorgeous, and sexy walking down London's Bond Street in a trench coat or on the runway as she would've been in the iconic Satyam Shivam Sundaram. She's ageing and showcasing the very best of it, unfiltered and genuine.
Owning Your Age
Sumita Dutta is in her early 60s, dressed in Western semi-casuals or chic saris. "Very often at a beauty store, the salesperson will not bother to address me unless I request. The idea that an older woman is looking for glam makeup seems alien. When they approach, it's to suggest anti-ageing products that will hide my wrinkles or cover my age. I want to tell them I don't want it covered. I'm happy to flaunt all my wrinkly lines and look good in them!"
Dutta recalls her mother switching to grey and lighter colours when she was in her late 50s. "I come from a Bengali family. Many women of my mother's generation did that, almost a tacit submission to the ageist stereotype that one had to stop dressing up as they aged. So if I showed her bright pink or a shiny blue, she'd say, how can I wear such bright colours at my age? Thankfully there has been a gradual dispelling of such ageist concepts over the years."
Invisibility can come in many ways. For Dutta's mother, it came with clothing. For some, it can be dating or even thinking of finding someone after a certain age. It is starting a venture against everyone's wishes for some older women. Or learning to dance at 70.
Why do you need to, is what many of them hear from friends, family and society at large -- why do you need to, at this age?
Of course, many pathbreakers are doing all these and more, but pulling away blankets of conditioning that have stifled some over the years takes strength.
"There is a clear indication that older women become invisible by their own volition," says Swati Diwakar, a former architect, content creator and Silver Talkies Club member. "And the reason is that they depreciate themselves like an old car. Empty nests, retirement, loss of a spouse, and distancing from children cause a loss of self-worth." Diwakar thinks this small percentage is slowly fading away. "For these women - life has been fashioned around the opinions and feedback of others and not a strong self-identity."
Like Dutta, Diwakar agrees that there is a change already afoot. "Today's 55+ women are taking up the challenge of 'I matter'. It is easier for them because they already have a strong persona built by relevant education, years at a career, travel and awareness of their value. So even though they are past a particular age, the spark shines bright and ignites many a fire! They also do not need a man to stay visible. Girl gangs are a thing now."
Author and conservation enthusiast Katie Bagli could tell you something about sparks shining bright. Or strong girl gangs. She's part of the Save Rani Bagh Botanical Garden Foundation, run by women between 60-80 years old. Rani Bagh is a 160-year-old Botanical Garden in the heart of Mumbai. Bagli and her girl gang are the powerhouses who have ensured its 4000-plus trees haven't faced the construction axe. Their effort has seen the botanical garden get a heritage status. "90 per cent of older women would perhaps not fade away in the eyes of the rest of the world. But there are still some women - about 10 per cent, who tend to become invisible." Bagli is emphatic about the change, "Today's generation of older women have much more access to resources to enable this, which the women of the previous generation did not have."
The Invisibility Pushback
Most older women globally are no longer wearing that invisibility cloak. Actor Michelle Yeoh's post-Oscar-win line – ladies, don't let anyone tell you you're past your prime – is a global catchphrase that many older women had already adopted, Bagli and her Rani Bagh girls included.
Bagli says most people she has met are empathetic towards senior citizens. "Silver-haired women are definitely respected. Considering these factors, it is natural that 50+ women would want to flaunt their age rather than hide it. Some years back, you would see even women of 60 years with hair dyed jet black. Now growing grey is a fashion. That is because many women do not want to hide their age."
Social media has been an enabler in considerable ways. Both global and Indian social media is abuzz with older women who don't see age as a barrier to doing what they do, saying what they say and dressing how they dress. The popular Instagram influencer Mrs Verma looks as gorgeous in a strappy gown and stilettoes as in a Punjabi salwar kameez. Ravi Bala Sharma's dance moves could beat any Gen Z's energy. Misguided brickbats happen, but they are down the ladder when weighed against the compliments these women get for turning ageist stereotypes upside down.
"I'm a 57-year-old woman, and it seems when you go into middle age, you lose your license to show up in a bikini!" Former supermodel Paulina Porizkova says, in a 60 Minutes news segment on women ageing in Hollywood, as she explains why she is needs to be seen in one on her Instagram account.
Dutta says seeing women worldwide knock stereotypes and ageism out of the park is incredible. "It's very inspiring to see what women older than me are doing. It motivates me to work out, stay fit, not conform to anyone else's conservative standards, and look forward to growing older with great visibility."
Agents of Change
What's driving this pushback? Most say it is economics combined with a growing understanding of body positivity and changing attitudes.
Urban women over 50 are now a significant demographic for businesses and marketers. The concept of body positivity has helped shift attitudes, empowering older women to embrace their natural selves. The entertainment industry is keeping pace to an extent, with older women increasingly cast as interesting, complex characters.
"A lot of the independence driving this change has to do with economic resources, the positive climate for women achievers, encouragement from family and friends, watching their earlier generation of female relatives fade into inconsequence, and many more opportunities to make their voices heard," feels Diwakar.
"Culturally, Indian women are meant to be invisible," she writes in response to our question on the invisibility pushback, "Not anymore. Education and opportunities for the girl child, banishing shame from their vocabularies, flaunting their flaws and voicing their often unheard opinions are helping to coalesce the ghostly outline of an older woman into one of substance, the smarts and success."
Dutta recently bought her 89-year-old mother a sunshine yellow kurta set from an haute brand. "She has been gathering compliments for it and now only wants a wardrobe of colour!"
We do see hope in that colourful wish. In the many older women who are stepping up and reclaiming their space. In more women talking about their older years honestly, like Zeenat Aman. In more App-Whang Ods on Vogue covers.
Cover image courtesy: Rudy and Peter Skitterians/Pixabay
Image used for representation only
As you grew older, did you ever feel invisible or unseen? Or did you see empathy and understanding? How have you countered ageism and made your voice heard? Share your thoughts with us in the comment box below.
Good Friday and Easter both come with their unique significance and food traditions. Here are two recipes for both occasions.
GOOD FRIDAY
Good Friday is a day that commemorates the crucifixion of Jesus Christ and his death on the Cross at Calvary. It is observed by Christians during the Holy Week as part of the Paschal Triduum preceding his resurrection on the 3rd Day after his death. It is also known as Holy Friday, Great Friday, Great and Holy Friday, and Black Friday. Good Friday is observed as a day of fasting and abstinence by Christians all over the world. Most people usually have just one simple meal at midday on Good Friday. When we were children growing up in Kolar Gold Fields, a simple Rice, Lentil, and Coconut Gruel or Congee was part of our lunch menu on Good Friday.
RECIPE FOR GOOD FRIDAY RICE AND COCONUT GRUEL (Rice Congee)
Serves 6
Ingredients:
1 cup Raw Rice
3 tablespoons Moong Dhal / Yellow Lentils
¼ cup Sugar or Jaggery (optional)
½ cup grated coconut or 1 cup coconut milk
2 tablespoons broken cashew nuts and raisins.
A pinch of salt
2 small pieces of cinnamon
2 cloves
Method:
Wash the rice and soak it for half an hour in a little water.
Dry roast the Moong Dhal/Yellow Lentils lightly in a pan and take it off the gas.
Boil 3 cups of water and the salt in a suitable pan, and when boiling, add rice and the roasted Moong Dhal.
Cook on low heat till the rice and dhal are soft.
Add the coconut, sugar/ jaggery, and raisins and simmer for 4 to 5 minutes.
The Gruel / Porridge / Congee should be of the consistency of thick soup or Pish Pash.
Serve plain or with coconut chutney or any pickle of your choice.
(Note: You could omit the sugar or jaggery if desired)
EASTER
The word "Easter" is supposedly named after “Eastre,” the Anglo-Saxon goddess of spring. A festival was held in her honour every year at the vernal equinox as a "salute to spring", marking re-birth. There are many symbols associated with Easter Sunday, such as eggs, rabbits, chickens, lilies, etc. It is believed that Easter Eggs represent the beginning of life, while rabbits and chickens represent the rebirth of the earth. The ‘Easter Bunny’ or the "Easter Hare", became symbols of fertility because hares and rabbits give birth to multiple young ones.
The Easter Cake represents all the good stuff that was sacrificed during the 40 days of Lent. Easter Sunday is the time to rejoice and be happy at the resurrection of Christ, and what better way to rejoice than to indulge in a rich cake with sweet butter icing! There's nothing quite like sharing generous slices of mouth-watering homemade cake with family or friends at Easter. This a simple recipe for a melt-in-mouth Vanilla Sponge Cake with creamy butter icing which would leave one craving for more than a slice.
RECIPE FOR EASTER BUTTER SPONGE CAKE WITH BUTTER FROSTING
(From the book A Collection of Simple Anglo Indian Recipes by Bridget White Kumar)
Ingredients:
300 grams, refined flour or Maida
200 grams, powdered sugar
250 grams, butter
4 eggs, beaten well.
½ cup milk
1 teaspoon baking powder.
1 teaspoon vanilla essence
Method:
Preheat the oven to 200 Degrees C
Sift the flour and baking powder together.
Cream the butter and sugar together.
Add the beaten eggs and vanilla essence and mix well.
Fold in the flour a little at a time.
Add milk if the mixture is too thick.
Pour into a greased and floured cake tin and bake in a moderate oven (180 Degrees C) for 40 to 45 minutes (Or until a wooden toothpick comes out clean).
Cool and then remove from the tin.
FOR THE BUTTER ICING FROSTING
Beat 200 grams of butter and 500 grams of icing sugar together until creamy.
Add 2 teaspoons of vanilla essence and 2 drops of pink food color.
Using a spatula, cover the cake with the butter icing.
Then with a wet fork, make soft peaks across the surface of the icing.
Decorate as desired and enjoy!
You can find more about Bridget White Kumar and her cookbooks here: https://bridget-white.com/cookery-books/
You may also like to read: How Bridget Kumar is Bottling The History of Anglo-Indian Cuisine
Cover Image: Deborah Hudson/Pixabay
What is on the table on Good Friday and Easter in your home? Share with us in the comments below.
Getting lost has never been so old world and back in time as in the bylanes of North Kolkata. Memories from a walkaround.
I’m having a Charulata-type* moment, or at least imagining myself to be in one. I look up at the balcony in an old apartment in North Kolkata, its green shuttered windows obscured in the shade of a beautiful awning — a lacy finesse worked into the stone, a fading beauty almost invisible in the tangle of wires crisscrossing overhead and the exposed bricks of other older buildings in disrepair.
I imagine the women who lived there, peeking through those green shutters, at the roadside vendors, or perhaps awaiting that much-anticipated visitor. Did they look up to that beautiful trellis-like awning? Did they have a say in the design? Probably not. And I’m instantly glad to be back in a world where I don’t have to peek at it through window shutters.
When done on foot, with time and at least once with the right guide, North Kolkata is a revelation.
Even now, in all their crumbling glory, you can peek into the beauty these old buildings once were — there are glimpses of glamour in a faded, stained glass window or in the chipped-off mosaic work above an entrance that probably heralded in distinguished guests to all-male addas (adda= informal get together).
The bylanes of North Calcutta can be cramped with kids playing gully cricket, incessantly honking rickshaws and the occasional speeding van with shrieking schoolchildren. It’s dusty and muddy, especially after a spurt of rain. But when it comes to the old houses that inhabit these streets, look up, and there are some wonderful gems to be found, making you realize why Calcutta was once named the City of Palaces. I discovered it as part of a walk with Calcutta Walks many years ago and kept going back for more on my own. It’s a walk that takes in cast iron balconies imported from England by wealthy merchants, shuttered windows and canons from Siraj-Ud-Doula’s time used for sewerage. In one of the bylanes, I once came upon a fifth-generation family of engravers and trophy makers working in a tiny office hemmed in by trees and hovering buildings.
And I came across stories. The red brick mansion above belonged to two rather colourful brothers, nicknamed Chatubabu and Latubabu. This European-style mansion was built in the 1780s by the millionaire Bengali Dey or Deb family with a complete rags-to-riches story. The family has held a traditional Durga Puja since the 18th century. Now it also doubles as an elegant event venue. The brothers, sons of the original merchant who made the millions, were a luxe lot according to Google and local lore. They used to light their cigars by burning 100 rupee notes, says an elderly shopkeeper nearabouts.
It’s easy to get lost in these lanes, leaving the sound of buses, trucks, taxis and cycle rickshaws behind as you delve further in, imagining a lost time of grand mansions with grander owners, a time when Calcutta would’ve been truly magnificent and also perhaps, a bit of a show-off like the wealthy owners of most of these houses were.
It’s also a walk that makes you incredibly sad. What would have been protected by glass cabinets and marked with blue plaques in Western cities lies in utter neglect. Ornate columns are either decaying or have been whitewashed beyond recognition. Conservation attempts of some mansions are largely off track, with ‘experts’ chosen at the contractor’s convenience.
Elaborate Thakurdalans (courtyard where Durga Puja was held) are part of most of the old mansions, though many have fallen apart beyond recognition. You can imagine the women of the family supervising kitchen prep or, perhaps, sitting together, shielded from the afternoon heat, for a gossip session.
In some places, ruins have grown roots, their decrepit beauty now almost Insta-worthy.
And in most places, the time hasn’t moved, even if it has been plastered over by garish new paint or political rally posters.
Hand-pulled rickshaws take a lazy afternoon off; salmon-pink roaks (pillared verandas) inviting siestas, as they’ve probably done for years.
Look around and ask around. There are stories everywhere.
*Charulata is a 1964 Indian drama film directed by Satyajit Ray, based on a novel by Rabindranath Tagore
All photographs: Reshmi Chakraborty/Silver Talkies
Do you love walking around and re-discovering a city you love? Share your experiences or memories of a city with us in the comments below.
Arun Bhatia dips into his vast archive of life experiences to bring us a slice-of-life story from the Queen Elizabeth luxury liner in 1952.
Back in the summer of 1952, on board the 8,3000-ton luxury liner Queen Elizabeth in the mid-Atlantic, two nights after we had left Southampton, I overheard one of the ship’s crew. His tense voice was in a private conversation: “…aye…boy from the cabin class it was that killed it; don’t know the boy’s weapon…”
Another seaman, also in uniform, said: “Aw, just a .22 air rifle…Mother Carey’s chickens fly right along with us, easy targets they are, come to think of it…”
Then came another voice: “Who’d ever think of sniping one of them…I don’t like it; I don’t like it at all.”
There was distinct fear in those voices. They were moans, really, full of dread. The sailors became aware of my presence and stopped talking, and dispersed. But elsewhere on board, the other seamen looked as though they were afraid, too. There was a pall of gloom. I tried to find out more about how a chicken could fly right along our ship, be shot by a .22 air rifle, and why seamen should be tense in the mid-Atlantic because of it. There was a library on board, and the librarian, a kindly bald Englishman, had some answers for me.
It turned out that even on a luxury liner like Queen Elizabeth, seamen were seamen, prone to the same superstitions that have been with them for generations. Mother Carey’s chickens is the name given to the small oceanic birds called petrels, the more commonly known among them being the storm-petrels, which are seen especially during wild weather in the Atlantic. They paddle along the surface of the waves, fly rapidly, and when in pursuit of food, they suspend themselves by extending their wings and appear to run on the surface of the water.
The Apostle Peter walked on water, and after him, they were called petrels (“little Peters”). “Mother Carey” is the Anglicized Latin Mater Cara (“Dear Mother,” an appellation of the Virgin Mary.) Seamen consider the very appearance of these birds to presage a storm, hence the name “storm petrels.”
It is thought particularly unlucky to kill one of them.
After finding out that much, I went on deck, hoping to see some. The nippy ocean wind tingled my cheeks, the occasional sea spray added to the cold on deck, and I hugged my overcoat tightly around me. It was a marvellous sight, indeed, when I spotted some petrels: They are pretty little birds with white rumps and plover-like legs. They were skimming the surface of the water, easily keeping up with our ship’s speed, and they never seemed to tire. Contrary to superstition, there was no storm.
But as I walked on deck, I spotted a seasick teenage boy looking green with nausea, heaving, often bending double, retching by the side of the ship.
He was clutching a .22 rifle in his unsteady hand.
Cover image: Wikimedia Commons
Calling our Members to Write for Us!
Silver Talkies Members get a unique chance to get published with us. We welcome travelogues, family recipes, memoirs, oral history accounts, short stories, poems, humour and personal essays, tips on living well and if you are a qualified subject matter expert, then your thoughts on your chosen topics as well. Email us at connect@silvertalkies.com to know more!
Maslenitsa is a Russian festival similar to Holi, says Kala Sunder in this festive dispatch from Moscow.
Maslenitsa is an Eastern Slavic festival to bid goodbye to the long, harsh winter and welcome life-giving spring. The name is derived from the Russian 'maslo', which means butter (originally 'anything that can be spread') and symbolises richness and plenty. Like most festivals worldwide, its origins lie in nature and agricultural methods. In the ancient Slavic tradition, Maslenitsa was celebrated at the end of February, and the New Year began in March. According to some experts, Maslenitsa was observed in late March, around the spring equinox. Yet, this earthy and exuberant celebration of rebirth collided with Lent's austerity and spiritual meaning and was relocated to the week before the Lenten fast (Great Fast). It became a week of eating, fun and partying, the last fling before the severe Great Fast.
During Soviet times, the policy of atheism highlighted the festival's earlier secular aspects. As a student in the 1970s, I learnt of Maslenitsa as part of the course on Russian folklore. There were hardly any public celebrations then, but in many homes, the traditional Maslenitsa bliny (pancakes) were made, and I got to enjoy them. Maslenitsa is now a mix of the ethnic, the Orthodox Christian faith and the God of Commerce. It is not a public holiday, but week-long events are in parks and city squares.
The parallels between Maslenitsa and our Holi are striking – a spring festival with a religious veneer, a boisterous celebration of colour with family, friends and neighbours, a day when inhibitions are relaxed, culminating in the burning of an effigy as a symbol of the beginning of a new cycle of life.
The traditional observance of Maslenitsa brought the whole community together in laughter and play before the hard work of tilling and sowing began in the spring. Each day had its significance. On the first day, an effigy of Maslenitsa, or 'Lady Butter', was fashioned out of a pole, straw and leftover pieces of cloth, paraded around the village and then installed in an open space to preside over the events. Bliny were made in large quantities throughout the week. The first bliny was offered to the departed souls and the poor. Then they were carried across to the neighbours and served to guests.
The Bliny Making
In popular belief, the golden round bliny symbolises the sun and invokes its warmth. Bliny can be made of different flours (wheat, buckwheat, oat), with yeast or without, baked or spread on a griddle like a dosa. They are served with various fillings and accompaniments – from the traditional butter, cottage cheese, sour cream, honey or preserves, meat and mushroom to the more recent caviar, condensed milk and chocolate. Spinach and beetroot bliny are the current healthy options. Some people abstain from meat and poultry during Maslenitsa in preparation for the Great Fast, but dairy is still allowed.
In this statistics-crazy country, it is estimated that 87% of the population will eat bliny this year, and 75% will make them at home.-
How The Festival Unfolds
Maslenitsa entertainments included making a mound of snow and sledging down its sides, troika (drawn by three horses) rides, building an ice fort and staging mock battles, fist fights, dressing up in masks and funny costumes, jumping over bonfires, singing and dancing. European travellers to Russia have left accounts of these boisterous games, which often ended in accidents and sometimes in tragedy. The young were given greater freedom to meet during these events; it was the time for courtship and matchmaking. Marriages arranged at this time would usually be celebrated later when there was more produce and funds. This also provided time for a re-think. Couples who had married any time after the previous Maslenitsa was considered newlyweds and expected to visit their relatives at this time. That tradition survives to this day, though in a different form - as a tour of the city's landmarks with a photographer.
A Family Affair
Sons-in-law were special guests on the third day of Maslenitsa. But on the fifth day, it was the turn of the son-in-law to invite the mother-in-law and demonstrate to her - and to the friends, she brought along - his bliny-making skills. Now that is a custom we in India should emulate. The next day was sister-in-law's day when the husband's sisters and other relatives were invited to bliny and given small presents.
While strengthening family ties, Maslenitsa provided one day as a safety valve. On this day, you were allowed to make fun of anyone and let off steam against those in power – elders, the local policeman, landlord, merchant, even the Governor himself.
On the final day, the effigy of Maslenitsa is burnt, a symbolic goodbye to winter. The last bliny are thrown into the fire and sometimes, old and unwanted things too. Finally, the ash is scattered over the fields to ensure regeneration and a good harvest.
My Maslenitsa Experience
This year, Maslenitsa was observed from February 20 to 26. Our neighbourhood square was decorated with sun motifs, although some little Christmas trees were still in place. Rocking horses and a merry-go-round were set up for the younger children. A smithy complete with a small furnace was installed in the open where older children and adults could try to fashion hot metal rods into various shapes. Experienced metalworkers were there to guide, and yes, fire extinguishers were at hand. Loud hammering noises from another corner became a popular spot to stamp coins on an anvil with a heavy hammer. All this was free. Workshops in various traditional crafts like painting on wood, Maslenitsa doll-making and straw broom-making were happening in the stalls around the square. These required prior registration and a small fee. Judging by the lines, there were enough takers. A café was doing brisk business in bliny pastries, hot tea and coffee, although the prices were rather steep. Small entrepreneurs sold artisanal cheeses, honey, preserves, herb teas, salted fish and cold meats. Their goods were not cheap but had a dedicated clientele, much like in India's organic and health food stores. There was no effigy because the square was too small and unsafe for a bonfire. "Go to the Centre," the organiser suggested. "There you'll find a big Maslenitsa effigy. There will be a concert in the evening, fireworks, street entertainers, and lots of fun." I suspected there would be booming music and a loud MC too. Instead, we took a train to a park on the outskirts with a towering 'Lady Butter'. She looked so attractive that I felt sorry she would be set aflame.
Find out more:
Maslenitsa is reflected in many paintings by Russian masters: https://russianlife.com/the-russia-file/painting-maslenitsa/.
Cover image courtesy: Wikimedia Commons.
Have you found festivals in other countries with concepts or customs similar to Indian festivals? Isn't it always a joy to find similarities amidst our differences? Share your thoughts or experience with us in the comment box below.
Silver Talkies Club member Rani Swamy has done almost 20 modelling assignments. She shares her experience.
I was a complete novice when I entered this exciting industry. My friend Kalpana Rao, a leading model and actor, referred and encouraged me. Kalpana and I met at a Silver Talkies event and hit it off, and we are good friends. I was so amused when she suggested I try my hand at modelling. It never struck me that I could even try! But then, life is full of opportunities, and I thought to myself, why not!
Kalpana shared some contacts in the modelling industry. I was apprehensive about my chances, but she encouraged me to give it a try.
I did not know how to proceed at first. I just contacted a few people who asked me to send my pictures. I was unsure what pictures to send, so I sent them whatever was available on my mobile phone. They seem to have worked! One fine day I was called by a casting agent, and they told me that they had selected me to play a granny's role for Britannia Good Day biscuits - a print ad.
It was thrilling and also intimidating. This was my first modelling assignment, and I was very nervous. I was asked to send a few pictures of the saris I possessed, and they selected 3-4 saris for me to wear. But I needn't have been nervous. At the shoot, everyone was relaxed and friendly. The little girl playing my granddaughter had already done many ads; I was in awe of her! She was confident and emoted her role with so much ease! In other words, an experience to remember.
My Journey Onwards
If you wish to be a model, the details of many casting agents are available on Facebook and Instagram. You can contact them and let them know of your interest in modelling.
Casting agents ask you to send your pictures with details like age, height, languages spoken, place of stay, and so on; most of them ask you to send an introduction video where you can give all the information. Sometimes the casting agents provide tips on how they want the intro video. Once agents have your credentials and if you are good at what you do, casting agencies will contact you when there are suitable assignments. Many assignments also happen through word of mouth. Sometimes casting agents require you to make a professional portfolio, though I still need to do it. Many of them will create the portfolio for you for a price.
Once you have an assignment, you must be prepared to spend the whole day at the shoot. If the shoot is supposed to end at 6 pm, it may even go late into the night. Of course, as a professional, you are expected to cooperate without complaints. But the atmosphere is amiable and respectful, especially for older adults. Food is arranged, and some production houses arrange transport or pay Uber charges.
Modelling is a hobby for me, and I don't push myself, though I have given my hundred per cent every time I have worked in an ad. I do not contact anyone for assignments. If something comes up and I like it, I take it on. But if you wish to spread the word about yourself, there are avenues. For example, you can make reels and post them on Instagram or shoot small videos and post them on Facebook. I have not done it, but if any of my ads are published, I post them on FB tagging the agent who got me the ad.
When you start, the remuneration for print ads is about Rs 4,000-5,000 a day, depending on the agency. It goes up gradually. Digital ads could pay more, depending on the client and agency. Cities like Mumbai are supposed to pay better.
I have done about 20 ads now (including a small role in a Tamil movie), and each shoot has been an enriching experience. Seeing yourself on a massive billboard or an ad film is also a thrill.
Modelling is a hobby that came to me by chance, and though I haven't pushed for more work, it has been an enjoyable journey.
All images courtesy: The Author
Calling our Members to Write for Us!
Silver Talkies Members get a unique chance to get published with us. We welcome travelogues, family recipes, memoirs, oral history accounts, short stories, poems, humour and personal essays, tips on living well and if you are a qualified subject matter expert, then your thoughts on your chosen topics as well. Email us at connect@silvertalkies.com to know more!
Here's another feature on becoming a senior model from our archives.
Legends say you get a chance to live longer with the black eggs of Hakone Hell Valley, Japan. Ramana Sista checked it out for himself.
My friend asked me, “If white hens lay white eggs, do black hens lay black eggs? I said, “No, they don’t, but Japan is the only place in the world where you get “Black Eggs” laid by white hens.”
My wife and I visited this place with our son in December 2019.
Located in Hakone, Kanagawa Prefecture, Owakudani translates to "the Great Boiling Valley,” though some locals lovingly refer to it as Jigokudani, meaning "Hell Valley.” Owakudani is a volcanic basin created some 3,000-odd years ago after the eruption of Mount Hakone. The resulting crater and subsequent landslides opened a series of hot springs and sulphur vents. Mount Hakone is an active volcano. Don’t mistake the sulphuric fumes in photographs for clouds!
The caldera’s gurgling waters were being used to boil dozens of eggs. "Black Eggs” are regular chicken eggs boiled in Owakudani!s natural hot springs. The sulphur in the water turns the eggshells as black as charcoal.
To witness the eggs being boiled in the hot springs, we took a short walk up the mountain from the Owakudani ropeway station. The trek takes about 15 minutes, or roughly one-fifth of the time it takes to cook the eggs. Reportedly, the eggs are boiled for an hour in the 80-degree hot springs (roughly 175 degrees Fahrenheit), and then steamed for an additional 15 minutes. The eggs themselves taste like regular boiled eggs.
Hakone Ropeway to Hell through the Valley of the Shadow of Egg
According to local lore, eating one egg will add seven years to your life. You can only buy the black eggs in packs of five for the affordable price of ¥500 (Rs 330/-). This might help explain why Japanese people live longer than everyone else. For the same price as a bottle of beer, you can add 35 extra years of life. I ate one egg on 1st December 2019 and need to see if it will keep me fit and kicking until 1st December 2026, allowing a grace period of 30 days till my 85th birthday. Balance 28 years were added to my son’s longevity! The eggs are strict “No, No” to my wife.
The valley has to be experienced firsthand to be appreciated. You can get there by car, but taking the Hakone Ropeway is a much more picturesque alternative. The aerial lift offers amazing views of Mount Fuji and the steaming sulphur vents below, making it look like you're flying over hell. Besides the life-prolonging eggs, travelling to Owakudani is a treat.
Images courtesy: Ramana Sista
Cover image courtesy: Suicasmo, CC BY-SA 4.0 via Wikimedia Commons.
Calling our Members to Write for Us!
Silver Talkies Members get a unique chance to get published with us. We welcome travelogues, family recipes, memoirs, oral history accounts, short stories, poems, humour and personal essays, tips on living well, and if you are a qualified subject matter expert, then your thoughts on your chosen topics as well. Please email us at connect@silvertalkies.com to know more!
Kala Sunder studied in Russia in the 70s during the Soviet era. Back there now, after several years, she shares her interest in Old Russian and looking for it in the Christmas service of the Russian Orthodox Church.
When you know a language's history, you better understand its present structure and relationship to other languages of the same family. For example, church Slavonic and Old Russian (also known as Old East Slavic) are the precursors to contemporary Russian, and I enjoyed studying these languages. However, they went out of common use long ago. They were taught by professors who deeply knew these so-called dead languages and valued their historical significance and aesthetics. Outside of academia, these languages are of interest to the Russian Orthodox Church, which uses them in the liturgy.
But in the 1970s, when I studied, there were few functioning churches, and I never heard Church Slavonic or Old Russian in practice. Since 1990 the state has handed churches back to the clergy, old churches have been restored, and new churches have been built. Services are conducted regularly. I wanted to listen to a service but was reluctant to go alone, and no one I know is a church-goer. Finally, a friend suggested we go to the Christmas service because it would be more beautiful (most Russians go to church because it is "beautiful") and longer, which meant there would be more to listen to.
Orthodox Christmas is observed on January 6 (according to the older Julian calendar). It was -20ºC, the coldest evening of the winter so far. This is the period of the 'Epiphany frosts'.
We set out at 6 pm to the Church of the Assumption at Putinki, a 10-minute walk from where we live. It is a beautiful little church with several green and gold onion domes. No, it has nothing to do with Putin. The area's name is Putinki, from the Russian word 'put' for path or road, as in sputnik or co-traveller. The main road of this area used to lead from the Kremlin to towns in the west and north, hence the name Putinki.
There was little activity in the lane leading to the church, and the notice near the entrance said the Christmas service would start at midnight. We had a Plan B – the Vysoko-Petrovsky Monastery, a further 15-minute walk. According to their website, the service was to begin at 6 pm and go on through the night. But before leaving, I wanted to look at the nativity crib and Christmas tree that must be somewhere in the small church compound. We saw two men in padded work clothes fiddling with wires, one perched atop a short ladder. They hailed us warmly and urged us to step into the church and warm ourselves while they set things up. It was already dark, and we had not noticed that they were working on the crib and the tree. It seemed churlish to walk away, so we entered the church. It had been restored recently. Every inch of the walls and ceiling was painted with bright biblical scenes, with blue predominating. It could have been distemper from Bangalore.
Flowers were being arranged (lilies at the height of winter!), the floor was being swabbed, everything that glittered was being rubbed, and the glass covering on icons was being wiped to remove marks left by the faithful foreheads and lips kissing the icon. We bought a couple of candles and lit them before the icon of the Mother of God. Pray for peace, we heard a woman tell her little daughter. When we stepped out, we caught sight of the two men who had been "setting things up". In the porch light, we realised that one was the priest, the other probably a parishioner. "Come back later," they called out, "we're almost done." It was all very friendly and informal.
The Vysoko-Petrovsky Monastery is at a slight elevation, and we maintained our brisk pace up the incline to stay warm. The cold still got to the cheeks and the tip of the nose. We had to stop at two pedestrian crossings along the way. My friend wiped her eyes, which water when it is this cold, and I wiped my nose.
One of the outlying buildings of the monastery complex used to house the Literature Museum, which we often visited during our student days. Some of our classmates worked there later. The monastery was closed after the Revolution, but the churches remained open. A small monastery functioned here in secret from 1923 until the authorities discovered it in 1929. All the churches were then shut down. The buildings turned into apartments, mechanical repair shops, and later into a kindergarten, sports hall, library, and auditorium. In the 1970s, it was barely recognisable as a former monastery. Then, in 1992, the territory returned to the Russian Orthodox Church. It is now a functioning monastery with several churches.
The Christmas service was already on in the Church of Saint Sergiy Radonezhsky, one of the most revered saints of the Russian Orthodox Church. It was not audible outside because of the two heavy wooden doors that also kept out the cold. There was the familiar smell of incense as we entered. Unlike in the little church, the clergy were in ceremonial robes of white embroidered with silver thread in intricate patterns. Some of the monks were in plain black robes. One of them was reading a prayer from a book. That is what I had come to hear.
I had to concentrate on making out the words and wished he would slow down. Gradually, I began to recognise a few words here and there in the stream. Then, just as it was all becoming clearer, the reading stopped, everyone crossed themselves, and the choir broke into song. I couldn't follow anything in that pronunciation, but the music was joyous and uplifting. It was a male choir, and the voices were strong and controlled.
The reading resumed, the altar doors opened, and a senior clergyman emerged in even finer clothes, holding a staff with a cross. He walked majestically to a small raised platform in the middle of the church. There was more waving of the incense holder; an icon was brought out from the altar and held before the senior clergyman. He began to recite from memory. In his inflection, I could catch the vowel sounds slightly different from the modern Russian pronunciation. The prayer ended with a repetition of the last line three times – a familiar routine in our prayers too. Then it was time for communion. The monks lined up before the priest, and some of the congregation formed another line. But most of the people watching, like us, lit a candle and slowly left the church. This process would be repeated several times during the night, another friend explained later.
There are no pews in Eastern Orthodox churches. People walk in, stand silently for as long as they like, light candles to their favourite saint and leave. The official view is that it is disrespectful to sit during service. (I find it rude to enter in footwear, but in a cold climate going barefoot would be a form of penance.) Some Russians offer a more mundane explanation for the lack of seating. There were never enough churches relative to the population, so there was only standing room.
The service cannot fail to move. It is majestic, calculated to appeal to all the senses and transport one to a different plane. I, however, remained rooted in the language of the texts.
We did stop on our way back at the little Putinki Church to admire the crib and tree. The service here still needed to begin. But we had worked up an appetite, and dinner was waiting at home.
As for the sound of Church Slavonic and Old Russian, I now listen to recordings after experiencing the real thing. There I can slow down the speed.
Lead image: Church of the Assumption at Putinki. Courtesy: Wikimedia Commons.
Did you enjoy reading about looking for an old language while braving the cold and taking in a Russian Orthodox Christmas? Share your unusual experiences with us in the comments below or email us on editor@silvertalkies.com.
Many understand spirituality as the connection with the divine, God or a higher power. But through our conversations, we found that even an atheist can be spiritual, for spirituality transcends religion.
‘It was the tenth day in captivity since my husband and I had been abducted by militants as a bargaining chip for the release of twelve terrorists. I had been crying all night and couldn’t sleep. At the sound of the morning azan of the first namaz of the day, I found myself in an angry dialogue with God for having subjected us to this ordeal and questioning His very existence. I was crying copiously and feeling all the venom that had accumulated in my system over the last few days. I felt like a hand grenade that could blow up the group if I could just lay my hands on a weapon! I wanted to kill them all! As I continued this bitter exchange, slowly and subtly a change started to come over me. The lump in my throat that had felt like a solid block of ice started melting’, shares Khem Lata Wakhlu about an experience in 1991, at the peak of militancy in Kashmir. ‘At the crack of dawn as light started streaming into the room, for the first time, I looked at the faces of the militants sleeping around us, one by one. At that moment a shift happened and I saw them as helpless fellow human beings. I experienced forgiveness and letting go.’
Wakhlu is an author and a political and social activist from Srinagar, Kashmir.
The transformational experience that night shifted her outlook, making her bolder around the militants, sometimes donning the role of a teacher, scolding them for their wayward ways and even finding the courage to slap one of them. ‘I always believed that both of us would return home unscathed, which we did after spending forty-five days in captivity, moving across seventy hideouts until the Indian Army rescued us. My meditation practice and positive belief helped us see it through.’
Wakhlu and her husband convinced the militants to surrender their arms when they were surrounded by the army personnel on the forty-fifth day. The militants returned to the village and mingled with the crowd avoiding any bloodshed, saving the lives of the villagers who had given them shelter.
What was that transformation that came over Wakhlu? What she experienced can only be described as a shift in her inner spirit or soul. The mind, body and soul are like the trinity of our lives. In the previous chapters we spoke about taking care of our body and mind, but what about our soul? In this chapter, we talk about this final piece of the jigsaw puzzle called healthy and active life.
What is a soul? The way we interpret it, it’s the deep connection between the mind and the body—like the energy that courses through an electrical circuit and lights up a bulb. To activate that energy, you need to connect or plug in to the source of electricity. Spirituality is that nourishing source for our soul.
Many understand spirituality as the connection with the divine, God or a higher power. But through our conversations, we found that even an atheist can be spiritual, for spirituality transcends religion.
Maitreyi Dadashreeji, the spiritual guide of MaitriBodh Parivaar explains, ‘In life, religion conveys the message of truth, teaching us how to practically apply spirituality. However, with time, it has become lifeless and mechanical. Socially and politically influential people altered religious essence and ways to suit their agenda and position in society. As a result, we ended up with conflicts between the spiritual path and religious teachings. Simply put, being religious is about a priest’s relation with the deity’s statue, whereas being spiritual is about the connection between a devotee and their beloved Lord. Spirituality connects you with the divine, and religion creates society to follow a spiritual path. Religion may bind you, if misunderstood. Spirituality sets you free.’
Excerpted from Rethink Ageing: Lessons In Ageing From the Bolder and Older Generation, Reshmi Chakraborty and Nidhi Chawla, Penguin.
Available in bookstores across India and online
The best reads of 2022 from Silver Talkies
1. As we grow older, a medical reserve becomes an important financial backup for emergency situations.
2. Actor Boman Irani and director Sooraj Barjatya talk about showcasing active seniors on screen
3. Did you know you could plan a yearly gardening calendar? Now you do!
4. How The Internet Helped This 90-Year-Old Travel To Her Birthplace In Pakistan
5. Key Things About Dementia You Need To Know
Did you enjoy reading the Silver Talkies Digital Magazine this year? What would you like to know more about? Share your thoughts with us in the comments below.
Poems by Silver Talkies Club Member Sutapa Dasgupta on creative pursuits and life journeys.
I'll talk about an unusual trek,
One that's long and hard.
It may not take you places but
The journey will be your reward.
An expedition that's one of its kind
Your life will change forever
Sometimes it seems endless,
Sometimes nearer than near.
It's a voyage of discovery
Full of secrets and mystery,
But you'll never ever find it
In any traveller's directory.
All it needs is faith and love
So put your fears away
For if you falter and doubt
You are sure to lose your way.
Be aware of who you are and
Ask what should be life's goal.
It is the journey within
that will illuminate your soul.
Close your eyes, take a deep breath,
Let it all begin.
Embark on a quest for truth
That ensures a life serene.
If a thought comes to your mind,
Follow it like a stream.
Meandering gently towards
The knowledge supreme.
The more you embrace the thought
The farther it will flow,
Be ready to glide with it
But leave behind your ego.
Obstacles will hinder your way
Distractions will clutter your mind.
But if you deviate from the trail
The truth will be harder to find.
Your eyes may be closed but your
Vision is clear and bright
It shows a straight and narrow path
That leads to a shining light.
Somewhere along the way
Your thoughts begin to fade
You lose your sense of time and place
Pure consciousness and bliss pervade.
A voyage of self exploration
Unearths a trove of treasures,
The sublime joy of finding oneself
Transcends all other pleasures.
There was a time I loved to write
But then my ideas ran dry.
Now I think why not pick up a pen
And once more give it a try.
I wrote about ordinary things
Of matters big and small,
Things that I cared deeply about
but others didn't see at all.
I learnt to bottle up my thoughts
And hid them deep in my core-
So much so one day it happened
I couldn't find them any more.
Change of scene, change of place
I started to write again.
This time I wrote about great leaders
And where they lived and when.
Why they did, what they did-
How they changed the world-
For young people to follow their lead,
Blazing dreams unfurled.
My own thoughts, they stayed within,
Thirsting to come outside-
Searching for a time and place
To burst forth like a tide.
That day is today, the time is now,
I've picked up a pen once more-
I'll surely find my long-lost thoughts
And give them wings to soar.
Images courtesy Pixabay
Calling our Members to Write for Us!
Silver Talkies Members get a unique chance to get published with us. We welcome travelogues, family recipes, memoirs, oral history accounts, short stories, poems, humour and personal essays, tips on living well, and if you are a qualified subject matter expert, then your thoughts on your chosen topics as well. Email us at connect@silvertalkies.com to know more!
Going grey and getting the silver look is not an easy decision for all. But whichever way you lean when the greys start showing, what’s important is being comfortable in your skin.
And the silver in her hair shines in the cold November air…- Pink Floyd-The Gunner's Dream
Everyone should feel confident in their choices, including embracing natural colour or texture. Actor Jennifer Aniston, 53, the global icon for envy-worthy hair, told Vogue in a recent interview when the conversation turned to going grey.
Confidence in herself and the tedium of colouring prompted Pune's Dola Sen, 58, to stop colouring her hair over a decade ago. "I started greying early in my 40s. I loved colour and salon experiments, so I continued colouring my hair. It has never been about covering up my hair," she says. "My decision to stop colouring was based on convenience. We moved to a remote village for some years, and salon visits became infrequent. I realised I liked the slight white and black look and decided to stick to it."
You may have come across media articles like grey is the new black with terms like 'greying and gorgeous' thrown in. While more women globally are embracing their greys and going natural, it isn't always an easy transition. "There was a point during my grey transition when I almost gave up because my hair looked frizzy and patchy. If I had been in Pune instead of the village I was in, I'd have caved in and rushed to my hairdressers," Sen laughs.
Most people begin to get grey hair in their 30s and 40s. The hair follicles' pigment cells gradually die and cease to produce melanin, making grey hair a natural part of ageing.
Unfortunately, grey hair is also connected to ageism.
"I dyed my hair well into my 60s," says Sudipta Ghosh, 73, from Pune. "In my time, there was a lot of peer pressure about this. A bit of grey, and my friends or people who saw me would point out, you are looking old. My young kids would say ma, don't start looking like dadi!" Ghosh is saying this in the context of her daughter-in-law Bidisha's decision to go grey at 50. "There is much less judgement, and women are embracing their greys nowadays boldly. E are more inclusive now,” she adds.
Growing older can also mean reaching a life stage where you feel free of judgements and inhibition, despite our society being quick enough to label people by appearance.
Nyla Masood, 61, is a Mumbai-based costume designer and actor who also sees a lot of humour in going grey. She often gets mistaken for being much older than her years, given societal perceptions but takes it with a good dose of laughter. Masud feels her greys have increased her confidence. She wears it short and asymmetric, and the unusual style even got her a role in the Netflix hit Liftboy at 58. "Grey hair is now part of my look," she chuckles.
While women were and are still judged for going grey, with many looked upon as older or past their prime, men and their greys are looked at differently when their hair grows silver. "Sexy salt and pepper" and "silver fox" are some of the terms used to describe grey-haired men.
Think Richard Gere, Milind Soman and George Clooney, and you'll know what we mean. The stunning Nafisa Ali has hugged her greys close for the longest time, and actor Ratna Pathak Shah looks lovely in them. But you rarely hear complimentary terms applied to women who have gone grey. Only recently can grey-haired women be spotted in advertisements and popular culture without an allusion to their age, though the numbers remain small there.
No wonder then that for many women, the decision to go grey isn't easy.
British actor Dame Helen Mirren hit the nail when she told Marie Claire, "I think women were just so terrified of having white or grey hair because it immediately put them into a different category." Make greys a positive thing as opposed to a negative thing, she asserted.
Thankfully, we may be on that silver-streaked positive road.
Going grey is in vogue now, and hashtags like #silvergirls and #ditchthedye are frequently trending on Instagram. With older (and sometimes, even younger) female influencers flaunting their grey hair on Instagram, the misconception that grey hair negatively denotes ageing has been debunked. The idea is about welcoming and celebrating your age, whichever way you choose. As Aniston said in her interview: "If you want to go grey, go for it! If you want to keep colouring your hair, that’s great too. Hair is a creative way to express yourself, and I love that your mood and energy can change with the change of a hairstyle, cut or colour. Embrace whatever is going to make you happy."
How to care for your greys according to hairdressers:
Use a colour-safe conditioner and a hydrating shampoo. Ask your hairdresser for suggestions
Avoid extra heat exposure and chemicals
Avoid too many hair products. These can make your hair look limp.
Grey hair tends to be frizzy so invest in a good alcohol free anti frizz spray.
If you are just going grey but need to break into it gently, check with your hairdresser for babylights that merge lighter colours with your greys
If you colour your hair yourself, go in for lighter hues, as grey shades can stand out more as they reappear if your dye is very dark.
Here are 10 famous people who rock their grey hair!
What is your take on this "grey matter?" Share your thoughts with us below.
A unique fruit shop in Tokyo and its museum-worthy display is a curiosity worth a visit when in Japan.
During my second day in Tokyo, on a visit in December 2019, I met the 45-year-old Rajendra Prasad Challisse in his store Maya Bazar, the biggest Indian grocery store in Tokyo, two blocks across the road from our apartment. Since then, it became my adda for hobnobbing. Maya Bazar carried the wholesale and retail inventory of Indian spices, rice, flours, pickles, savories, sweets, and everything else an Indian needed in the kitchen. His customers include retailers, restaurants, and many Japanese residents from all over Japan. So that time, when you find it challenging to get even vegetable sandwiches, it was like an oasis in the desert for me.
Rajendra Prasad hails from Nepal. The title ‘Challisse’ was conferred on their ancestors by virtue of their ability to learn 40 slokas of Vedas in one day. He learned Japanese and got into tourism. Then cupid struck, and he married a Japanese woman visiting Nepal and migrated to Japan some 20 years ago.
In a casual conversation, I asked him why fruits are expensive in Japan.
“Which fruit?” he asked.
“Apples cost Rs.300 each,” I said.
He smiled and said: “If you think Rs.300 for an apple is expensive, you must visit the Simbekiya fruit parlor in Tokyo. It will make you rethink your perception of expensive fruit.”
My curiosity was stirred, and my interest was piqued. So, on the 15th of December morning, after visiting the Sensoji Temple (Tokyo’s largest, most colorful, and famous temple) and Tokyo SkyTree (the second-highest tower in the world), we headed for the 185-year-old Simbekiya Fruit Parlor in downtown Tokyo.
We were a little early and had to wait for the shop to open. A queue of people had already started to form. Once the store opened, we walked in and were dazzled by the entire in-store experience. An exquisite store that looked more like a high-end, fine jewelry outlet, with sharply dressed, sophisticated staff eager to educate and serve visitors on their unique offerings. Their offerings were precious alright, ‘jaw-droppingly’ precious:
There are times when you are not quite sure whether you are shopping for fruit or jewelry.
They tell me that a Sheikh from the Middle East comes in his private jet every month and takes home whatever fruit is available in that season.
Japanese use it as a dessert, not a snack, maybe because it is sweeter than sweet. Founded 182 years ago, Sembikiyas specialize in deluxe gift boxes and baskets, which account for 98 percent of its sales. Fruit destined for gift-giving at this level must be perfectly ripe, delicious, and flawless in appearance. If you are interested in knowing the scientific methods, skills, and labor that go into cultivating this delicious speciality fruit, may visit the Sembikiya website: www.sembikiya.co.jp/lang/en
Sembikiya fruit was beyond our means. We were happy with the apples at Rs.300 each available in the shop across the road, which almost looks similar. If I walked down the street some 200 meters to another vegetable vendor, I could get it for Rs.200 each without compromising the quality and taste. On the brighter side, each apple in Japan weighed half a kg because of the high water concentration, as all other fruits do - juice drips at every bite.
Is there a unique travel experience you would like to share with us? Share in the comments below or email us on connect@silvertalkies.com
All images courtesy: Ramana Sista
Silver Talkies Members get a unique chance to get published with us. We welcome travelogues, family recipes, memoirs, oral history accounts, short stories, poems, humor and personal essays, tips on living well and if you are a qualified subject matter expert then your thoughts on your chosen topics as well. Email us at connect@silvertalkies.com to know more!
October 1 was celebrated as the International Day of Older Persons. As we celebrate age and its many dimensions this month, watch this space as we bring you stories of courage, care, making a difference, and resilience.
Caregivers often lose quality time with the person they care for, burdened under their daily tasks. Rose Gordon on how to ensure the chores don't wipe away your shared memories and precious time together.
Laura is 86 years old. She has just been admitted to hospice services. In my spiritual care and grief counselor role, I am meeting her for the first time today to see how the hospice can best support her and her family. We are seated on the small porch of her room, attached to the home of her daughter Gloria and Gloria's 4-year-old son, George. The porch faces an apple tree laden with ripening apples. Sunlight streams through the green leaves and splashes onto part of the porch. Gloria has brushed Laura's shoulder-length silver hair and tied it back with a blue ribbon.
I comment on how the blue ribbon matches her lovely blue floral shirt. "Blue is one of my favorite colors", Laura remarks in her slow speech that will become more halting as her Parkinson's disease advances. After exchanging pleasantries, I ask Laura what brings her joy. She replies, "I like the sunshine, and my grandson is a very funny boy. I wouldn't even be here if it weren't for my daughter and her support."
We talk together for about 45 minutes. It starts lightly, and then she tells me about her childhood in Europe during the end of WWll - the hunger, her parent's disappearance, and how she cared for her two small siblings. "I was just seven years old myself," she says. When the sun gets too hot for her, we move into her simple room. Parkinson's makes her movements careful, slow, and stiff. I listen, nod my head and maintain eye contact, so she knows I am listening. Then, when she seems tired, I stand to leave. She stands, too, maintaining the dignity of her role as hostess. "May I give you a hug?" I ask. "Oh yes, yes. I'd like that", she replies.
Our next visit is much shorter. I've heard that Laura tires out faster. At first, the sun is too hot, then the shade is too cold. I drape her shawl over her shoulders, but we decide to move inside. She drops into her chair. "My body tells me when to move, so I must," she declares as she stands up. Her hand is trembling, and she seems unsure what to do next. I know it's time to leave, and I stand up to move toward the door.
"Thanks for letting me visit today. I can see you are tired. I hope the rest of your day goes easily," I say. "I could use a hug", she says, still standing in the middle of the room. I am pleasantly surprised! She is initiating this contact.
"I'm delighted to hug you," I reply, and we embrace lightly.
Later in the afternoon, I call her daughter. "You're doing a great job caring for your Mom," I tell her, "she is so grateful for that. So happy to be with you. And she mentioned loneliness to me today and asked me to hug her before I left. I know you may not be a huggie family, but that request touched me."
"Oh dear, we have never been a hugging family", Gloria says. "I am just so tired and busy with the house and George and taking care of things, and I have health issues too, and I sometimes don't take the time to just be with her."
“I understand. This is a very busy time in your life. There is no criticism in this, Gloria.” I reply. “Loneliness is a very common experience for elders. Sometimes all it takes to turn that feeling around, for both of you, is to find even a few minutes a day to be a daughter again... Sitting on the porch chatting and watching the grass grow!”
A March 3, 2020 study published in the Journal of American Geriatrics Society concluded that “lonely older people may be burdened by more symptoms and be exposed to more intense end-of-life care compared to non-lonely people. Interventions to mitigate loneliness during the vulnerable end of life period are necessary.”
Personally, I’ve noticed over the years of my work that caregivers often can get lost in a role that is focused on changing sheets on the bed, counting out medications, reminding our mother, father, husband, or wife to eat or drink more water, take a shower, things like that. Our relationship as daughter, wife, or husband can slip away as we focus on filling the pillboxes, doing another load of laundry, and preparing a meal that is barely eaten. All those tasks are important, and our relationship is also more than that. It's about sharing memories, expressing our love for each other, the dreams and hopes, up and downs we’ve shared, and the fun times we’ve had together. Without maintaining that relationship, elders often feel lonely or miss being hugged or touched.
Beneath all the tasks that need to be done, running like a quiet but powerful river, is the awareness elders and caregivers each have about the changes they’re enduring- whether from age or disease - and the mostly unspoken grief about what they have lost and the final loss that is approaching. "This is a precious time, Gloria. It can be frustrating and challenging - heartbreaking, exhausting, and often overwhelming. And it's also a time when we are closing the circle of our relationship with this loved one. May I share some ideas with you that might comfort your mom and fill the gap? "
What practical things did I share with Gloria that might be useful for you during this precious time with your ill or ageing parent or spouse?
Find the ways that work best for you and your loved ones. Let laughter and easy time together bring life to the situation; let it lighten the load.
Images courtesy: Rose Gordon and Pixabay
Liked this story? Would you like to share your own experiences with caregiving in the comments below?
For more on caregiving: Is caregiving a woman's job?
Silver Talkies Club member Preeta on children flying away from the nest called home. An emotion many of you may connect with.
The nest is empty, doesn’t feel right
My Baby Birds have taken flight
Debris from the years that mattered
Like broken eggshells lie scattered
I watch them fly with pride and joy
My little girl and baby boy
Echoes of arguments, laughter and tears
Fading back into long gone years.
Bags packed with love and lessons that matter
Of honesty and life and things that don’t shatter.
Have fun, be bold
Let life unfold
Do what’s right
Be kind
Most setbacks
Will end up fine
Take that leap
In all good faith
But have your safety nets in place.
Love and read
Dance and sing
This is your time
So do your thing!
But oh so loud the hushed silence
Seems to me a harsh penance
If only I could draw them back into my arms
And enjoy again their baby charms!
But….this is not a time for regrets or fears
As they soar and shine among their peers
Now only memories to browse and cherish
From a love that can never ever perish!
Calling our Members to Write for Us!
Silver Talkies Members get a special chance to get published with us. We welcome travelogues, family recipes, memoirs, oral history accounts, short stories, poems, humour and personal essays, tips on living well and if you are a qualified subject matter expert then your thoughts on your chosen topics as well. Email us on connect@silvertalkies.com to know more!
Books open up our world in more ways than one. Here are five books that talk about India's struggle for freedom, the Partition of 1947 and the post-independence years.
Knowing our history and the numerous narratives that led to the dawn of August 15, 1947, is essential. Now, more than any other time, it is important to understand history from many viewpoints to comprehend how India attained Independence. Here are five books that talk of life and the world around the time of Independence, in fiction, non-fiction and with an eye on every age.
Midnight's Children by Salman Rushdie: You can't have a list without this one. It is considered an absolute masterpiece by Salman Rushdie, who was viciously attacked in New York just a few days ago. Midnight's Children is the story of Saleem Sinai, the narrator of this book. Born at midnight on August 15, 1947, the book is about his fate intricately linked to his country. It's also about the mystic abilities that connect Sinai to the other midnight's children of India, all born in that first hour of freedom. In 1981, the book received both the Booker Prize and the James Tait Black Memorial Prize.
Indian Summer: The Secret History of the End of an Empire by Alex Von Tunzelmann
This book chronicles all the significant political people and events that led to the partition of India. It demonstrates how a small group of people's decisions completely altered the nation. Because it discussed the relationship between Jawaharlal Nehru, India's first prime minister, and Edwina Mountbatten, Lord Mountbatten's wife, the book was controversial.
The Integration of Indian States by VP Menon: This is for the factually oriented reader. VP Menon was the personal secretary to Sardar Patel. One of the most fundamentally significant challenges the Indian government faced following Independence was the amalgamation of the 554 princely kingdoms with the Indian state. The book details the negotiations Patel and Menon carried out with each of these states and might interest those with a keen eye on administrative history.
The Chowpatty Cooking Club by Lubaina Bandukwala: Suppose you are a grandparent wishing to give the young ones a window into children's lives during the freedom struggle. In that case, the books from the Songs of Freedom series (Duckbill) make a great choice. In the Chowpatty Cooking Club, set during the Quit India Movement, three children fervently wish to participate in the freedom struggle and revolution brewing around them. The author weaves in actual historical elements such as an underground people's radio that broadcasts news hidden from the British, student rebels and secret codes. It's a book for children that adults are likely to love too!
The Great Indian Novel by Shashi Tharoor: Shashi Tharoor's debut novel is a fiction that retells the great epic of Mahabharata. It's a political satire that draws parallels with major events in India's political history during the freedom movement and in the post-independence era.
Every August, Silver Talkies records memories and instances of humanity, fortitude, and courage during the Independence Years; stories of life in a newly independent India; crossing over during Partition, and finding freedom. You can find these stories here & here.
Decade-old medical files. Crockery never unpacked. Décor pieces collecting dust. Clothes that no longer fit. An overdose of woollens, shawls or blankets from the time you lived in a city with harsh winter. Books lovingly bought but never read. Unused kitchen utensils. Sift through the drawers and cupboards of any Indian home, and you will likely find an overdose of clutter.
We love collecting things. Sometimes for practical reasons, Sometimes for convenience, Sometimes for comfort and memory. And it seems to be a national sport.
A 2016 IMRB and online marketplace OLX study surveyed that Indian homes have over $11.7 billion worth goods that haven't been used in over a year. Ninety per cent of the respondents in the survey reported stocking up on goods. Indians aren't the only ones cluttering up their homes. A Los Angeles Times report once said that an average American home had about 300,000 items.
Little wonder then that decluttering and tidying are now become much-used buzzwords and after the Japanese expert Marie Kondo, even profitable careers! Getting rid of what no longer "sparks joy" saves space and can be highly therapeutic.
Decluttering can be especially useful for older adults who may wish to live in smaller apartments with minimal items for the ease of cleaning and chores. But, simultaneously, one woman's clutter could be another woman's gold. So we asked professional organiser and decluttering consultant Aanchal Kejriwal to tell us how to define clutter.
Clutter would be the things that occupy space in our drawer, attics, bed storages, and garages that we don't use or that don't serve any purpose, she said, categorising it into two things:
· Things that we don't love
· Things that are serving no purpose in our lives.
Why should we declutter? Kejriwal says the reason lies in those "happy hormones when we get rid of all the unwanted stuff and create a happy environment around us." A 2019 BBC article quotes Sophie Scott, a cognitive neuroscientist at University College London. She says tidying up and decluttering work as rewards, increasing the release of the neurotransmitter dopamine, the brain's pleasure chemical. There are enough studies to show how clutter connects with mental health issues. Research has shown its links with the stress hormone cortisol and lower productivity, depression and insomnia.
Indian homes, with their many wardrobes and the inevitable store rooms, are often a declutterer's dream, though getting started on clearing up an overflowing space can be a daunting task. Here are some tips we culled out from experts:
When you want to declutter, close your eyes and picture the kind of space you want to create. That is the first step.
The second step is to start decluttering. But avoid taking on a massive project and getting overwhelmed. Instead, start with a small corner of your house. For instance, pick up a medicine cabinet or a small work drawer.
How do you remove unwanted items? Pick up each item and start asking if you are using it currently. Are you going to use it in the next six months? Is it something that you love? As Marie Kondo's KonMari effect is famous for prompting: Does it spark joy in you? If it does, it's probably worth the keep!
Kejriwal warns that we need to be ruthless while doing this exercise.
"There are lots of things like showpieces or photo frames that are not serving a purpose, but they make us smile. We keep many things at home even if they don't make us smile because we have invested money in them. But we need to understand one simple thing. The money we have invested in it is already gone, and now it's just occupying space. So if it is not serving a purpose, nor making us happy, what is the point of holding on to that object?"
o The third step in your decluttering journey is categorising every item - such as kitchen utensils, purses, and clothing.
Once you have categorised, it is time to assign each item a place. The trick is to think of the first place you would look at if you lose that item. For example, if the drawer in the console at the entryway is where you always look for car keys, that is the right home for them. Kejriwal says that once we have organised, we need to maintain it by always keeping the item there. So organising is a continuous process.
Our clothes often take up the maximum time to sort and keep organised. They are also sometimes the hardest to give away. Deepthi Kala, a senior citizen who has moved 14 homes thanks to her husband's stint with the army, shared a few tips on ensuring you declutter your clothes.
Kala is now permanently based in Pune and takes on clothes decluttering exercise for herself every year. "In casual, everyday clothing, I keep aside anything that doesn't fit me anymore or that I haven't worn for more than a year because it wasn't the right buy. I have a donation box handy, and that's where these go."
We all keep some clothes for sentimental reasons, no matter how old, faded or unwearable they may be. "Once I turned 60, I pledged to let go of at least five old items each year. This year I donated my wedding saree to a charity that uses old clothing to make blankets."
Kejriwal says organising a wardrobe could initially seem daunting, but a few simple items can help you channel your inner organiser. Here's her go-to list of accessories that will ensure your wardrobe sparks joy:
* Velvet hangers with thin handles. Similar types of hangers help you optimise space. These are often available on Amazon at reasonable prices in bulk.
* Baskets to categorise items easily like leggings, lingerie, dupattas or other small things and make your wardrobe look neat.
* Multifunctional drawer organisers to make compartments in your drawers and keep smaller items neatly stored.
And while we can channel our inner organiser the way we are best comfortable, sentimental items can be another story.
It would help if you were somewhat ruthless here too, but differently. "How many times do you revisit your old, sentimental possessions? Do you open and see them every day? Once a month or every few months? If you do, then it is worth having it as a keepsake forever. "Most of us don't revisit sentimental items at all. We simply store them somewhere. So if you have a space constraint, you need to ask yourself if you are really enjoying those items if you haven't revisited them and perhaps declutter," Kejriwal adds.
Decluttering can help you create a neat, easy-to-maintain and happy space. It can also be a calming, mindful activity. So if your home looks like it could do with a good clean, perhaps it's time to give it a go.
Do you love to declutter different areas around your home? Share your tips with us in the comments below.
Photographs: Pixabay; Unsplash
Whether you have a huge apartment or a tiny balcony, home gardening is always one of the best ways to bring greens and flowers indoors. Here are some easy expert tips.
Gone are the days of having the luxury of a spacious garden or a big farm to flaunt your gardening skills in the heart of the city. While a handful of us may be lucky enough to enjoy the privilege of the countryside or have enough space within our city homes, most of us are bound to apartments that leave us with no other option than a balcony, rooftop and interior home garden. However, that shouldn't weaken your green finger and spirit. All you need to know are some tricks to help you better care for your home garden.
Shivani Kapoor, an environmentalist and nature lover, shares some valuable tips on home gardening.
Here's what you must keep in mind while prepping up a home garden.
How much time you can invest in caring for your home garden: You must be realistic when it comes to home gardening and decide on the time you can make for taking care of your plant babies. "If you have time just once a week, choose plants that survive without much care or with infrequent watering," says Kapoor.
Identify the kind of sunlight at home: Before setting up your home garden, determine the type of sunlight your home receives - is it the strong sunlight or the soothing morning sunlight. If indoors, is it a well-lit space with natural daylight or indirect sunlight? Is it at a distance away from the window or a dimly lit corner? "The type of plant you choose must depend on the type of sunlight your space gets," she says.
Your planter matters: This is something most of us tend to overlook, but the size, quality, and look of your planters play an essential role, believes Kapoor.
Identify the right soil: You must learn to point out if the soil you are using is of good or poor quality, and based on that, you need to find ways of enhancing the soil quality.
Over-pampering your plant can kill it: Too much of anything is not good, and so is the case with over-pampering your plant babies. Over fertilisation and overwatering can damage your plants and even kill them.
Remember, no plant can grow without light: All plants would need sunlight to thrive. Some can grow in the shade, and some need bright light. The degree of light required for each plant can vary. Hence, it is an excellent idea to sun or air all your plants once a week.
Stale air damages your plants: If your plants aren't getting fresh air, there is a higher risk of damage. Stale air from air conditioning (AC) within the home can damage your plants more than lack of sunlight. Thus, keeping your plants exposed to fresh air is always necessary.
Top tips for having a healthy home garden
Kapoor shares the best hacks to grow a healthy home garden that makes you proud:
Red flags of home gardening.
If you are a newbie, you may not be aware of certain red flags indicating damage to your plants. So how do you know if you are going the right way? "If you find your plant has too many soft yellow leaves, it indicates you are overwatering, and you must stop immediately; otherwise, the plant could die. But, on the other hand, if you find too many brown and wrinkled yellow leaves, it indicates underwatering, and you will have to water that plant more frequently," says Kapoor.
Did you know?
Syngonium, Pothos, ZZ, Snake Plant and Snowwhite Aglenoma are the easiest to maintain indoor plants.
"Home gardening can be a great healer, especially among older adults. It is a gentle exercise and keeps your mind and body active. Raising a plant keeps you engaged and engrosses you with its growth journey. Green is soothing. A healthy green surrounding is in itself calming," says Kapoor. Follow these tips, flaunt your home garden and heal yourself.
Silver Talkies has a thriving Gardening hobby group called The Green Thumb for our members who are plant parents. It is one of the many hobby groups we have -- from books to quizzing and astronomy. These hobby groups are free for our members and often become lively discussion spaces to share news and pictures of your hobby. To know more or join us as a member today, visit: https://silvertalkies.com/community.html
All images courtesy: Pixabay
How Transactional Analysis offers an insight into human behaviour
Transactional Analysis is an interesting study of human behaviour. This subject offers a complete information about different types of human behaviour, satisfactory reasoning to some of the inexplicable sudden outbursts of normally calm persons and analyses hidden implications of complicated interactions. Moreover, it has expanded into other realms of our lives.
Let us analyse a few interactions we face in day-to-day life.
A housewife is busy cooking breakfast and arranging lunch boxes for her office-going husband and school-going kids. Suddenly her neighbour rings the bell and asks for some sugar in a bowl. Despite being busy, the lady asks the neighbour about the bowl that she had given her two days back. The neighbour says that it must be somewhere at home, but now she wants sugar urgently and if a person can’t help a neighbour who else will? Finally, after some more small talk, the neighbour has her way and borrows another bowl with the sugar, murmuring to herself "One day I will have a set of bowls from you!".
In another instance, we can recollect another typical morning conversation -- A husband is busy getting ready to go to the office and the wife is busy in the kitchen work. The husband asks his wife to get him the car keys immediately as he is getting late. The wife jokes saying that keys must be there wherever he dumped them yesterday. The husband's voice goes up every moment, while his wife keeps joking about the missing keys. Finally, the angry husband takes a taxi and goes to the office. He later realises that he may have left the car keys in the neighbour's house on the previous night when he met him.
If we analyse the behaviour of people in the first case, we can conclude that the neighbour was dictating like a parent to a child, while the housewife was reacting responsibly.
In the second case, it is clear that the husband was also acting like a parent ordering his kid, while the wife was responding childishly. Here also we can deduce those futile interactions of this type would go on and on unless it is checked.
In Transactional Analysis, which is a fascinating study of communication and behavioural patterns, such behavioural patterns are called the Ego States.
There are three Ego States, and there are varieties under them. A parent can be an encouraging, nurturing parent who ignores any small irritations and supports his child. Or a parent can also be a critical parent who is always demanding from the other person irrespective of his age. Interestingly in child behaviour also there can be two types -- Natural and Adaptive. A natural child's ego and personality are full of confidence and interactions with others are in a comfortable way irrespective of the other's age or position. Whereas an adaptive child's personality shows submissive nature and a lack of confidence in interacting with others. The role nicely played by Jugal Hansraj in the film Masoom matches an adaptive child personality.
It can be deduced that when a person operates from a particular Ego State for a long time, he tends to develop a typical behaviour most of the time.
1. Thus if a child predominantly shows adaptive child behaviour all the time, even after growing up, it may develop a submissive character. This is likely to lead the child to have an inferiority complex even after growing up, apart from harbouring a feeling that he or she is not competent to be in society. This personality trait is named as--- "I am not OK you are OK".
2. It is easy to analyse a person as -- "I am OK you are not OK" when he or she can manage others comfortably with their dominant behaviour for a long time i.e. mainly Critical Parent type.
3. From the above it is easy to define-- " I am OK you are OK" type when a person has been regularly playing the Adult role of being analytically balanced in dealing with others after being a natural Child.
4. The last type--- I am not OK you are not OK type personality is a suicidal mentality. A person due to his childhood experiences, compounded by similar bitter experiences later in life develops a view that he is unfit to be and continue in society.
We may also come across a person unreasonably and abruptly getting upset with another for no apparent reason. The sudden eruption of the person is attributed to a theory called Collection and cashing Stamps in T A. A person may have suffered at the hands of many people in many instances, -- in his house, on the way to the office, in the office with the boss and colleagues etc. The built-up emotions of frustration and anger are finally unloaded on the poor lift boy when he shouts at him for no reason at all while he goes out of the office. On the other hand, if a person remembers good feelings, of success in his job, kids' good performance, getting a promotion etc, he may tend to cash in his accumulated happy feelings by going on a pleasure trip with his family.
Nowadays marketing techniques are revolutionalised by playing on the imaginations to trap clients. We usually come across a free gift of 1 Kg of salt or sugar for the purchase of goods of Rs 5000. This is with an Ulterior motive to appeal to the 'child ego' of the clients successfully. For a moment many customers who do not apply their adult faculty to analyse the cost-benefit are trapped if they look at the "GIFT" part of the ad only. Like that TA has successfully analysed various types of transactions naming them Complementary, Crossed and Ulterior Transactions.
Now TA has come to stay and is often used by psychiatrists. A practical guide to TA is the book 'I am OK you are OK' which was written by Thomas Anthony Harris (1910- 1995) an American psychiatrist. This is a small introduction from me to the vast subject of Transactional Analysis.
If you wish to learn more about Transactional Analysis, click here to read an interview of Anna Chandy, counsellor and top Transactional Analysis practitioner by Sandhya Rajayer, writer and mental health therapist.
Calling our Members to Write for Us!
Silver Talkies Members get a unique chance to get published with us. We welcome travelogues, family recipes, memoirs, oral history accounts, short stories, poems, humour and personal essays, tips on living well and if you are a qualified subject matter expert then your thoughts on your chosen topics as well. Email us at connect@silvertalkies.com to know more!
Did you think Instagram was a place only for the young? Well, it’s time to think again.
With over one billion active users in a month, Instagram is where popular social media is at. What started as a photo-sharing app is now a place to share information, promote your hustle or hobby, plan an offbeat vacation and thanks to reels – even bring out your inner performer. With over 180 million users, India has one of the highest numbers of Instagram users, most of them in the age group of 18-24 years. And while numbers are important, it doesn't mean older adults are staying away from the app. In fact, many Indian older adults are popular Instagram influencers breaking ageing stereotypes. In 2018, the BBC ran an article calling popular older adults on Insta ‘granfluencers’ (We are not big on the term as not every older person is a granny). Despite the massive focus on youth, top older Insta influencers had a 24 per cent increase in their followers, the article said. And no surprises there. Older influencers on Instagram often bring us a different (and very real) view of age, keeping us hooked to their posts.
Here's our list of 10 Indian older adults rocking Instagram.
Ravi Bala Sharma
https://www.instagram.com/ravi.bala.sharma/
Dancing her way into our hearts, 63-year-old 'Dancing Dadi' aka Ravi Bala Sharma has 187,000 followers and growing! Sharma took to the stage to fulfil her late husband's wish. A video of Sharma dancing the bhangra shared by singer/actor Diljit Dosanjh made her account famous. But Sharma thinks beyond follower numbers. “For me, the follower count is just the number of people who love and appreciate my art. I try to put out videos regularly with the help of my son who edits them for me,” she told The Hindu. She often does dance collabs with younger people, including her children. What you take away from those videoes is her infectious energy, bright smile and the belief that it's never too late to shine!
Manjri Varde
https://www.instagram.com/manjrivarde/
We absolutely love this 'Sassy Saasu' who currently has 132k followers and more. We also love how she has been turning ageism and relationship stereotypes upside down. Watch her boss it up with her crazy collection of boots, dish up some undhiyo or pav bhaji, create fun reels with her daughter in law Sameera Reddy and be the doting grandmom squishing her adorable grandkids. Want to know more? Read about her here.
Dinesh Mohan
https://www.instagram.com/dinesh.mohan.58/
Depression and thoughts of self-harm. Overweight and health issues. Lack of direction. Dinesh Mohan, 63, has gone through many personal battles to become a successful senior model with over 300,000 Instagram followers. Looking at him it's hard to imagine he weighed over 130 kgs at his lowest point. His is a story of determination and effort as Mohan worked hard to get his mind and body back in shape. Read about him here.
Neena Gupta
https://www.instagram.com/neena_gupta/
You have to hand it over to Neena Gupta, actor par excellence and redefining bold since she became a single mom by choice to daughter Masaba way back in 1989. Gupta made heads turn with her performance as an older woman dealing with pregnancy and the society around her in the 2018 comedy grosser ‘Badhai Ho.’ She also wrote her no holds barred autobiography ‘Sach Kahun Toh.’ Her Insta account is hugely popular with 9,00,000 followers and more and reflects Gupta’s bindaas style, whether dressed in casual travel shorts, kaftans or something designed by her daughter.
Senguttuvan Subburathina
https://www.instagram.com/sengut2006/
Senguttuvan Subburathina, 72, turned chef after retirement to help his wife with daily kitchen chores and fuel his passion for cooking. He has since then been the senior-most contender in 2021 SunTV MasterChef Tamil, making his way to the top 24 out of over 1500 contestants and becoming a food influencer on Instagram with over 14K followers. He told us how he did it!
Seema Anand
https://www.instagram.com/seemaanandstorytelling/
Seema Anand describes herself as a sex health educator and storyteller. Her striking good looks and that glorious silver hair may catch your attention first but what will keep you hooked to Seema Anand's pathbreaking, ageism shattering Insta account are the discussions around sex and how she demystifies it. She has discussed how older adults can have a better sex life; contraception myths and knowing your body better. Anand completely shatters the image that an older person cannot talk about sex and has an account that is a must-visit to know about pleasure, both for the young and old.
Rajini Chandy
https://www.instagram.com/rajinichandyofficial/
The boss lady that she is, Rajini Chandy wears her success lightly and speaks her mind. In her 70s, she is sure to live her life just as she wants. "I don't know how many hours I have left, let me enjoy them," she told us once in a live conversation. Besides keeping herself fit, Chandy learns the drums and acts in ad films and films. She has even launched a YouTube channel to inspire other older adults. An OG in every avatar, watch her shatter a few glass barriers in this live interview with us.
Vijayalaxmi Chhabra
https://www.instagram.com/vijayalaxmichhabra/
Love saris? Would you like to know more about textiles and Indian fabrics? Join the 50,000 plus followers Vijayalaxmi Chhabra has on Instagram. The former director-general of Doordarshan is a saree influencer now and has an enviable collection. To follow her is to learn the history of saree weaving from different parts of India. Her well thought out posts also give an insight into the lives of working women in the 70s and 80s and the importance of education and discipline, which seems to have been a hallmark of an older India. Read more on her here.
Nafisa Ali
https://www.instagram.com/nafisaalisodhi/
Few people radiate the joie de vivre actor and former swimmer Nafisa Ali exudes. Her 100,000 plus followers think so too. Even while undergoing treatment for ovarian cancer, Ali’s Insta account was a mix of positive reflections, gratitude and love. She shared her journey with courage, surrounded by her family and care. We saw her recently vacationing in Australia with her mother and brother. Hats off to her positivity and recovery.
Harish Bali
https://www.instagram.com/visa2explore/
Harish Bali is a travel blogger. With 40,000 followers and more, Bali is a much DMed person now with people asking him for travel tips. He is a good source for information on travelling around India and the local food, including must not miss sights. From Katra to Kanyakumari, Bali has covered it all. Check out his straight from the heart account.
Cover image courtesy: Rajini Chandy
Are you an Instagram user? Tell us your favourite people among the older adults out there in the comments below.
Is the summer heat getting to you? Follow our member Madhu Gulati’s guide to a relaxing holiday in the lake district of Kumaon
We went to Sattal in the Kumaon region during the Dasara holidays in October 2021 with our grandchildren. Known as the lake district of India, Sattal translates to seven Tals or lakes namely Nal-Damyanti Tal, Hanuman Tal, Garud Tal, Sita Tal, Ram Tal, Laxman Tal and Purna Tal. The lakes are said to be interconnected freshwater lakes and fall in the Nainital district, Uttarakhand, the name we all know.
Over to our holiday now. We flew to Delhi and the next morning reached Kathgodam by train. From there it was a taxi ride to our cottage in the hills. The lake views were reserved for the next morning. A very beautiful and calm lake, the colorful boats at Sattal Lake make for a lovely way to experience the serene waters. There are accessible hiking trails, with a good mix of oak and pine forests for company. There are options for adventure sports too like a 3-in-1 Zipline that I did with my husband Ashok and granddaughter Rhea. It was fun even though we got wet and did not have clothes to change into.
One day, we hired a taxi and went to Mukteshwar, Satkol, Sitla Estate, Chauli ki Jali and Bhimtal. According to folklore, during the Pandavas' 12th year of exile, they couldn't find a water body to quench their thirst. Legend has it that Lord Bhima hit the ground with his mace, due to which an underground source of water came out and formed a lake called Bhimtal. Naukuchia Tal or the lake of nine corners is only four km from Bhimtal. It is famous for a variety of lotuses.
Mukteshwar is famous for rock climbing, rappelling, and many other adventure sports. There are cliffs hanging out from the hill and overlooking the valley below. There is one cliff with a big hole and that is called Chauli ki Jali. Mountains are full of legends and this one says that women who are not able to conceive should pass through the hole on a full moon night to be able to conceive. There is a Shiva Temple which is 5500 years old and is said to have been built by the Pandavas. Our next stop was Sitla Estate which is a 150-year-old house with a warm kitchen and cottages overlooking the mountains.
The next day we went to a Himalayan Ashram in Satkol. It is in a beautiful golden valley among orange groves and whispering willows. Sheeba, our daughter Kanika’s friend has a home there and treated us to lunch.
Sheeba is involved in the conservation of forests in that region and her home was very beautiful in the middle of a forest. On our way back, we shopped for local fruits, spices, and Pahari Rajmah (Kidney beans), among other things.
This was a holiday to soak in nature. Our cottage was on a hill and we could see the sunrise in the morning from the front and the sunset from the back. We loved walking around the area, taking in the calm, and listening to the birdsong.
Sattal, Bhimtal, and Naukuchiatal are not places with a big list of attractions. But it can be a great holiday destination as you find solitude walking on the serene and enchanting trails in the midst of nature. It can be a very relaxing and peaceful time spent with the family, just like it was for all of us.
Images courtesy: Wikimedia Commons and Silver Talkies Team
Calling our Members to Write for Us!
Silver Talkies Members get a unique chance to get published with us. We welcome travelogues, family recipes, memoirs, oral history accounts, short stories, poems, humor and personal essays, tips on living well and if you are a qualified subject matter expert then your thoughts on your chosen topics as well. Email us at connect@silvertalkies.com to know more!
Are you a grandparent trying to get your grandchildren started on a reading habit? Children’s author Lubaina Bandukwala shares some tips.
It’s a competition. A competition for the heart and mind (and attention) of a child. Video games, outdoor games, television, social media, YouTube, books – all this and more saying to a child, ‘Watch me! Play me! Listen to me!’ And in all this cacophony, a book’s softly spoken, ‘Read Me!’ seems to get a bit lost.
What can we as adults do to help children enjoy books? Here are my quick tips for different age groups.
Note: Picture books are not just for kids
A picture book is one in which the illustrations are an important part of the storytelling. While some picture books are for toddlers, others are books that may have a lot of visual content but might be more suitable for older kids (in fact people of all ages enjoy picture books). While choosing picture books for younger kids, try books with rhythmic text alliteration and participation books that ask a question like Brown Bear Brown Bear by Eric Carle or Excuse Me is this India by Anushka Ravishankar. Some of the most fun reading sessions can come from sharing wordless picture books like Priya Kuriyan’s Ammachi’s Glasses, Canto Jimo’s Snip or Aaron Becker’s Quest trilogy. Children can tell the story in their own words and in any language – and add their own understanding of it!
Finally, when looking for picture books, get those with brilliant art – remember not all kids may like to read, but some may become immersed in the art – and thus seek more books like those to read. Hence, mission accomplished!
Do you share stories and favourite books with your grandchildren? Share with us in the comments below.
Images courtesy: Pixabay
Silver Talkies Culture Trail Series brings you lesser-known gems from our cities. Did you know that Mumbai has the second largest collection of Art Deco buildings in the world after Miami? Here’s a quick tour.
Think Art Deco, and you think of Miami, Paris or New York. Mumbai, the commercial hub of India rarely comes to mind. But did you know that Mumbai has the second largest collection of Art Deco buildings in the world after Miami in the USA? Or that the Art Deco structures in Mumbai are unique enough to deserve their own term - Bombay-Deco?
In July 2018, UNESCO added the Art Deco Buildings of Mumbai to the World Heritage List. The beautiful buildings around the Oval Maidan and the airy promenade of Marine Drive were the two South Mumbai precincts awarded the heritage distinction, the result of a long and unique campaign by deco enthusiasts, heritage conservationists and resident groups, coming together to preserve a legacy.
Mumbai’s Art Deco goes beyond Marine Drive, spilling across neighbourhoods in Mohammed Ali Road, Dadar, Matunga, Bandra and going up to Chembur in the Eastern part of the city. Atul Kumar of Art Deco Mumbai, a documentation and advocacy non-profit, pegs the number of Art Deco buildings across Mumbai at 646. Kumar is a finance professional who lives in an Art Deco building himself and felt the need to preserve and document its unique heritage across the city.
The term Art Deco, or 'art decoratifs' is a way to describe a style of architecture, design and fashion that emerged in France in the 20s.’ "It is a melding of numerous styles that come together," says Kumar. He generously mentions some key features you can look out for in an Art Deco building:
The Rise of Bombay Deco
As fascinating as the Art Deco heritage of Mumbai is the grim history of its rise. The rise of Art Deco in Mumbai owes its origins to the devastating plague of 1896 and the Spanish Flu that followed in 1918, says Alisha Sadikot. She runs the Inheritage Project, which encourages public engagement with Mumbai's heritage resources and conducts walking tours.
The Art Deco renaissance in Mumbai came about in the 1930s. The city was recovering and rebuilding from the deadly plague that had devastated it so the British created the Bombay Improvement Trust to make a cityscape with a better sewerage system and decongested housing. "Bombay is a port city," says Kumar, "So it became the trading outpost in Asia for the British Empire. Many Gujarati and Parsi families who were traders and ship merchants became prosperous and wanted to build new homes. Along Marine Drive plots of land were available for sale. The first set of Indian architects was also going to the Royal College of Art in England and visiting France. They were all exposed to this new extravagant, elegant, forward-looking style, called Art Deco. The ships they travelled in were Art Deco temples. So they had an aspiration of building homes and designer neighbourhoods with this modern style. They also had this magical new building material called cement concrete, which made this possible. All of this came together to create Mumbai’s Art Deco."
While the Victorian Gothic structures like High Court or Station built by the British were imposing grandeur statements, Art Deco was all about contemporary lines with elements of openness. Led by Indian patrons and often Indian architects, the Art Deco movement was an early sign of resistance to the British, still a subject of much debate among experts.
From Empress Courts and Windsor Manors, newer buildings gradually started being called Bharatia Bhavan and Sekseria Building or Soona Mahal. Indian motifs began making an appearance on building facades like the diya or swastika.
What also emerged was confidence in a new India that was coming up. An example of this is the New India Assurance Building in Fort with huge life-size Indian agrarian representations like hand carts and women in saris. The nearby Art Deco Lakshmi Insurance Building has a copper statue of Goddess Laxmi on top.
Mumbai’s Art Deco heritage is a legacy of new thinking that went beyond just a better cityscape to incorporate ideas of an emerging India during the British rule. While the UNESCO heritage tag has protected the Oval Maidan and Marine Drive precinct, Art Deco structures around the city are in danger of being demolished for redevelopment purposes. Kumar thinks advocacy can go a long way in creating awareness and a sense of pride in this unique legacy. We hope so too!
Where To Go For Your Art Deco Tour of Mumbai
Mumbai's Art Deco aesthetic spread beyond private residences to public spaces such as movie houses, cricket stadiums (Brabourne Stadium), office buildings and even spaces of worship. Here are some Art Deco gems around Mumbai.
The Karfule Petrol Pump, Ballard Estate: Mumbai's only surviving Art Deco petrol pump, it's been in service for 80 long years!
NM Petit Fasli Agiary, Churchgate: Designed in 1937-40, this Parsi fire temple is an Art Deco beauty with its towering entrance, golden Gujarati lettering and imposing Egyptian sculptures in the entrance.
Cotton Exchange Building: Cotton Exchange Building, which is now a jewellery market, is notable for the beautiful bas-relief that wraps the building façade, chronicling the journey of cotton, from fields to trade and showcasing India's rural life.
New India Assurance Building: Built in 1937, the building truly brought about a sense of 'new India.' Lifesized figures flank the façade while the sculptural reliefs show Indian field workers and farmers.
Shiv Shanti Bhuvan, Oval Maidan: Striking in its yellow and green colour scheme, Shiv Shanti Bhuvan looks over Oval Maidan, towards the Victorian Gothic structures on the other side.
Soona Mahal: You couldn't have passed through Marine Drive in Mumbai without a second glance at this beautiful structure that houses the popular Pizza by the bay restaurant and is the perfect example of Art Deco's streamlining element.
Regal & Eros Cinemas: Both are closed now. These marked the golden age of Art Deco construction in Mumbai in the 1930s. Regal was the first air-conditioned theatre in India.
Taraporevala Aquarium: Marked with Art Deco features like Ziggurats - stepped pyramids similar to a tiered cake and bas relief that evokes underwater life, this is a visually striking building.
Dadar Parsi Colony: Curved balconies, tropical motifs, artistic lettering, ziggurat pillars, and Deco residences mark this colony.
All photographs are courtesy Art Deco Mumbai.
Enjoyed this Art Deco tour with us? Share your favorites or discoveries in the comments below.
It wasn’t an easy journey for India’s earliest women doctors who stood up to patriarchy and more.
Being a doctor is considered to be a prestigious profession now for all genders. Many women doctors are voices of authority on several crisis issues. But what was it for a woman to become a doctor around 150 years ago? Author and freelance journalist Kavita Rao’s book, Lady Doctors: The Untold Stories of India’s First Women in Medicine, tells us that it took an extraordinary amount of courage, determination, and fire in the belly to face assault, social ostracization, public shaming, and lack of acknowledgment for the brave women who chose the path.
Rao’s meticulously researched book brings us the unheard struggle of six Indian women who had that fire. In an interaction with Silver Talkies members’, she explained why she chose them and told their story:
Dr. Anandibai Joshi: In the 1880s when women were considered capable of only raising children and doing household chores, Dr. Anandibai Gopalrao Joshi became the first Indian lady doctor to finish her studies in western medicine from the United States. With encouragement from her controlling husband, Gopalrao Joshi, she became the first Indian woman to study overseas. She participated in the medical program of the Woman’s Medical College of Pennsylvania in 1883 and at 19, began her journey to become a doctor. At 21 she graduated with an MD in obstetrics and even received a congratulatory message from Queen Victoria on her success.
Explaining what makes Joshi stand out, Rao says, “In those days it was a taboo for a Brahmin woman to travel overseas because that meant she would lose her caste. But she stood up in front of the town hall and asked permission from the community to go. She refused to give up her custom, she refused to eat meat which many people consider as the cause of her early death as she could hardly find any vegetarian food overseas. She used colonialism and evangelism to get her education without letting go of her norms.”
Dr. Kadambini Ganguly: Not just the first practicing lady doctor in India, Ganguly was also the first Indian woman to pass the University of Calcutta Entrance Examination.
She was the first woman to join Calcutta Medical College to study medicine in 1883 within just 11 days of her marriage to Dwarkanath Ganguly, her mentor, and avid supporter. In the 1880s, medical colleges were not open to women. Kadambini came and broke the door down for women in Calcutta Medical College. Following her admission, Calcutta Medical college started admitting students who were women.
“At that time the general belief was how can women attend classes with men as that would distract men? How can women attend anatomy classes or surgery as women are delicate? It was Ganguly who proved that women could do dissection and more, breaking stereotypes. However, she hasn’t written a word about herself which is disappointing because her struggles are so inspiring and worth an autobiography. That’s possible because she was a mother to eight children and simultaneously was practicing medicine which was a huge responsibility, no doubt,” says Rao.
Dr. Rukhmabai Raut: This firebrand sued her husband to escape child marriage at a time when divorce was absolutely unimaginable. She stood up against Hindu conservatives like Bal Gangadhar Tilak for her actions. The landmark legal case involving her marriage ultimately contributed to the Age of Consent Act in 1981. She had the most challenging journey so far, says Rao. “Bal Gangadhar Tilak belonged to the Pune conservative school of thought and did not approve of a woman leaving her marriage for education and Raut had to put up a very tough fight against him.”
In 1894, Raut received her Doctor of Medicine from the London School of Medicine for Women and became the second practicing lady physician of India. In 1895, she returned to India and worked as the Chief Medical Officer at the Women's Hospital in Surat and also established the Red Cross Society in Rajkot.
Dr. Haimabati Sen: “She wrote an entire memoir on her journey of becoming a doctor and for nearly a hundred years, it was lost in the bottom of the trunk. It was written in the 1880s and was translated from Bangla only in 2011. Nobody, including her family members, thought it was important to preserve such a treasure. In India, most of such significant historical accounts are not archived and that is more common when it comes to achievements of women in science,” says Rao.
Sen’s journey from a child widower to a physician is indeed exemplary. In her memoir, she writes, “Do I have to suffer all this simply because I am a woman? Would anyone have inflicted so much suffering on a man? Why are they so worried as to whose wife I am or whose daughter?” Sen was a pathbreaker as she took medicine to rural India. She wasn’t a very qualified doctor but she played a remarkable role in making medicine accessible to the villages - an issue with which we still grapple today.
Dr. Mary Punnen Lucose: She was denied admission for science subjects at the Maharajas College, Thiruvananthapuram for being a woman. As Indian universities did not offer admission to women for medicine, she moved to London encouraged by her doctor father and secured MBBS from the London University, the first woman from Kerala to do so. Mary returned to India in 1916 and went on to have a trailblazing career. In 1938, she became the Surgeon General, in charge of 32 government hospitals, 40 government dispensaries, and 20 private institutions. She is reported to have been the first woman to be appointed as the surgeon general in the world. She was the founder member of the Indian Medical Association and Federation of Obstetric and Gynaecological Societies of India (FOGSI). In 1975, she was awarded the civilian honor of Padma Shri by the Government of India.
“She was pro-science, very much in favor of modern medicine, believed in compulsory vaccination, and wanted the government to allocate more money to scientific medicine,” says Rao. This, was at a time in the late 1920s when a majority of the country did not believe in vaccination.
“She faced a lot of opposition from the male legislators who believed vaccination wasn’t a necessity and it was in fact harmful. For her to stand for the cause of vaccination when vaccination wasn’t even heard of was an amazing thing,” says Rao.
Dr. Muthulakshmi Reddy: An Indian medical practitioner, social reformer, and Padma Bhushan awardee, Dr. Reddy had a number of firsts to her name. She was the first female student to be admitted into a men's college, the first woman House Surgeon in the Government Maternity and Ophthalmic Hospital, the first woman Legislator in British India, the first Chairperson of the State Social Welfare Advisory Board, the first woman Deputy President of the Legislative Council, and the first Alderwoman of the Madras Corporation Avvai Home.
“Dr. Reddy was more than just a doctor. She played a significant role in India’s Independence; she helped shape public policy for women and health in the 1920s. In her memoir, she mentioned that she didn’t want to get married at first but eventually got married to a person who was very encouraging in her late 20s. She also writes that when she had children it became very difficult for her to balance her family and work alike and she even advised women doctors to not get married,” says Rao.
While the life of a woman in medicine is much smoother now, women still struggle with work-life balance and often need to juggle several odds to move ahead in their careers. Happy Women’s Day to all these spirited women, doctors, or mothers, who are working and fighting every day to make a mark.
Do you have a story of pathbreaking doctors and other career women in your family or among your loved ones? Share with us in the comments below.
Photograph courtesy: Wikimedia Commons & Pixabay
Are you addicted to Wordle? Worried it may soon go behind a paywall? Here are some Wordle spin-offs to keep you going after solving the day’s puzzle or when a paywall pops up.
Unless you live in one of the world's remotest and inaccessible corners with an extremely patchy internet connection, chances are you haven’t escaped the daily grid of yellow and green boxes that have filled our Internet timelines. We are of course talking about Wordle.
Haven't tried Wordle yet? First of all, congratulations. You are either truly off-grid or one of those original ‘going-against-the-grain’ types. Even so, being the Wordle evangelists that we are at Silver Talkies, here’s how it works: Wordle players get six attempts to guess the five-letter word of the day. Log in to https://www.nytimes.com/games/wordle/index.html and guess your first starter word, which has now become as much a thing as sourdough starters were during the height of the pandemic. Depending on whether the letters used exist in the answer or are in the right place (as shown by coloured grids), you continue guessing for six tries. Unless you are one of those lucky ones, who get it right on the first try-- a rooftop-shout worthy achievement. Once done, you have the easy option to share your spoiler-free Wordle score with fellow addicts and the world on social media.
Created by Josh Wardle as a pandemic game for his partner who enjoyed the NYT crossword and other word games, Wordle is a viral sensation that’s given many of us a fun morning distraction. It works the brain and has also become a way to stay connected as the pandemic drags on and pulls us all collectively down, with a war playing out in the background now for good measure. Wordle has become a welcome five-minute (ok, sometimes much more) respite from obsessive doomscrolling, household chores and the morning rush for many of us, sending us down a rabbit hole of best five letter words, vowel combinations and eliminations.
By now, everyone has their own theory of Wordle’s immense global popularity. British psychologist Lee Chambers credits it to the fact that it stimulates language and logic processing areas of our brains and releases dopamine, that much-needed shot of well-being. Then there is the social aspect of it. Washington Post columnist Molly Roberts called it ‘Togetherness in solitude’ as the ongoing pandemic has meant consistent loneliness and the need to find something to connect with family and friends as we used to, without a screen or mask between us.
Wordle allows us to win a bit of that togetherness every day, Roberts wrote in her beautiful essay.
Meenakshi John, 63, agrees. Wordle is her new way to say hello to her teenage grandson who lives in another city, even if it’s the only exchange they have during the entire day. “It’s a good way of reaching out to a teenager I don't have much in common with anymore.” Part of the charm also lies in the fact that you can’t solve the next Wordle immediately and need to wait until the next morning or 12 am if your addiction level has peaked.
Does all that problem solving and social engagement improve our brain’s plasticity? While we await the verdict on that, there are enough studies that prove the benefits of solving word puzzles.
A study in May 2016 assessed the link between 14 cognitive measures (sustained attention, information processing, among these) and word puzzle solving in over 19,000 adults between 50 and 93 years. On each measure, regular puzzle solvers did much better than those who played occasionally or never.
Now that the New York Times has purchased Wordle, regular players are rather perturbed by questions on top of everyone’s minds. Would everyone’s favourite morning routine go behind a paywall soon? How then would we debate the best starting words? Discover best letter frequencies? Or declare that we aced KNOLL and (humble brag here) even CAULK?
All good things come to an end and though we don’t wish for it, perhaps Wordle may become another word game we remember to play occasionally someday. But that doesn’t mean the world of word games will dry up. They’ve always existed and now thanks to Wordle we now have some intelligent spin-offs that will ensure our brains stay active for quite a bit. CHECK out our list of more brain teasers to SOLVE and don’t forget to THANK us later!
Quordle: Not happy solving one Wordle a day? How about four? Try Quordle. You get 9 chances and this is an addictive toughie.
Absurdle: Absurd enough to try but fun nevertheless, Absurdle prunes its list with each guess, making the game go on longer. A once try for sure, especially if you have time to kill.
Nerdle: This one is for all Math geeks. Nerdle is a Math puzzle and you have to try to guess the problem and the solution within six tries.
Crosswordle: This one combines the game of crossword with Wordle. The best part? Unlimited guesses!
Worldle: A geography-based spin-off that is becoming as popular as the original.
Wordle archives: This one is remembrance of Wordles past. Want to try the very first Wordle? Or every previous wordle you may have missed? It’s time to visit this one.
Are you a Wordle player? Do you play other word games or puzzles? Let us know in the comments!
These photo apps can restore your old photos and preserve precious memories.
We all have to dust old photo albums with cherished memories of our youth. I can remember how my mother, while staying at my grandparents’ house, would open one of the old wooden cabinets and pull out a thick textbook like album. She would open it with all excitement to show us photos of our grandparents as young children and the childhood photos of my brother and myself.
Old photo albums are priceless possessions that help us walk down memory lane and get back to our golden past. However, there is a major problem that we all face with our old photo albums. These photos can start to deteriorate, get discoloured and even fade. Many of us move homes often and these albums may even get lost. But now we can prevent that and keep our cherished memories intact, thanks to technology by converting these images into digital formats.
Here are some apps to preserve your precious memories.
Colorize
This app allows you to turn your old black and white photos into coloured ones. By simply placing your photo on a clear background, you can use the app to click a picture of the photo. Once you have done that, the app will do its magic and add colour to your picture. This app provides both free and membership options. With the membership option you can colour an unlimited number of photos.
This app is rated 4.7 stars on the app store. You can install it for free from Google Play Store and App store and can use it on Android and iOS.
Links to download:
https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.photomyne.colorize&hl=en_IN&gl=US
https://apps.apple.com/dk/app/colourise-colour-to-old-photos/id1464665765
Before photo:
After photo:
Google photoscan
This app allows you to digitize your old photos while maintaining their original features. This app is free to use. All you must do is place your old photo on a flat surface and then open the app and snap a picture of the photograph. After that the app will show four dots on the picture. Hover your photo to each of the dots until the dots turn blue. That’s all and you’ve successfully digitized your photo.
This app is rated 4.7 stars on the app store. Both iOS and Android users can use this app.
Links to download:
https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.google.android.apps.photos.scanner&hl=en_IN&gl=US
https://apps.apple.com/us/app/photoscan-by-google-photos/id1165525994
Video tutorial link:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WIlTztx-NM8
FamilySearch Memories
This app allows you to store your old photos and add more memories to them. Imagine you have a photo of your first birthday party. With this app you can store that photo along with a title to that photo . You can even store an audio recording of yourself describing that precious moment for up to 5 minutes if you want your next of kin to experience that photo in detail. This app is free to download.
This app is rated 5 stars on the app store and is available for Android and iOS users.
Links to download:
https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=org.familysearch.mobile.memories&hl=en_IN&gl=US
https://apps.apple.com/us/app/familysearch-tree/id885982973
Adobe scan
This is a free to use app which can be used to scan your images and store them in a pdf format rather than a jpeg. This app is very simple to use. When you open the app, the camera option will open and then you can hold your phone over the photo. This app will click the photo and will allow you to crop the edges. It will then store the image as a pdf and give you the option to add more photos to the pdf if you want to. This app too is available for both Android and iOS users and can help you preserve your old photos well.
Links to download:
https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.adobe.scan.android&hl=en_IN&gl=US
https://apps.apple.com/in/app/adobe-scan-pdf-scanner-ocr/id1199564834
Video tutorial: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nECxS0G11WE
Photo digitisation has now become a trend and these easy to use apps have made it convenient for older adults to try their hands on photo digitisation. This not only helps you relive your past but also can be a great post-retirement hobby.You can try out these apps and share your photo digitisation experience with us in the comments section below.
These exciting gaming ideas will make your Christmas merrier, even indoors.
Christmas is a time when families often come together for that annual meet and greet. Apart from all those food-laden tables, mirth and laughter, a mix of family games could add to the joy and fun. Here’s a list of fun Christmas games for the family.
Christmas Trivia: 12+
Minimum no. of players: 4
If you want to have a light-hearted family game where everyone can participate, this one's for you. The website you can use to host this game is Kahoot. Kahoot will allow you to create your own online trivia game where you can create multiple-choice questions. If you aren't up for creating a game Kahoot already has a varied array of pre-built Christmas games which you can host. Kahoot is free to use. Once you have started a game, Kahoot will send you a pin that you can share with all your family members. Once they open the Kahoot website and enter the given pin, you can begin the game. Have Covid related travel restrictions meant a Christmas party on Zoom? Kahoot can help with that too!
Where to find: https://kahoot.com/
Heads Up: 10+
Minimum no. of players: 2
This game can be played with stick notes or with the Heads-Up app. The game is simple: two players sit opposite each other. One person has a sticky note placed on his forehead with a name on it. The other person must give clues to the person to guess the person’s name who's on the sticky note. The roles are then switched, and the person who guessed the name the fastest wins. If you don't have sticky notes at home you can play the game using the Heads-Up app available in the App Store and Google play store. The app is free to use but has a few in-app purchases for specific themes.
Where to find: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/heads-up/id623592465
https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.wb.headsup&hl=en_IN&gl=US
Head or Tails: 1+
Minimum no. of players 6
For this game, all you need is a quarter. One family member will be the coin tosser and all others will surround him/her in a circle. Then the coin will be flipped and everyone has to either touch their head or their back to indicate whether they think the coin will land on heads or tails. Whoever guessed wrong will be eliminated and the game will continue until one person remains.
Bingo
10+
Minimum no. of players 6
Using https://myfreebingocards.com/numbers/1-75/edit to generate free online tickets, Bingo can be played at home if you can print these out. There can be four levels: vertical row, horizontal row, diagonal and blackout( full house). A player who has won one round cannot play again.
Carolling challenge 5+
Minimum no. of players 4
This is a fun game that needs no props and can be played with friends and family while streaming on Zoom or Google Meet. The game begins when one person starts singing a line of a song, then the person to their right has to sing the next line and this continues until a person can sing his line. To keep the song competitive and ongoing it is recommended to sing Christmas themed songs known to many.
Never have I Ever Christmas Edition: 18+
Minimum no. players 2 but recommended 6+
This game is very simple, all members should sit in a circle. All players should have a glass of hot sauce (or something else that suits your spice tolerance level safely) in hand. One player begins by saying ‘Never have I ever — ‘. If a person in the circle had done what was said then they must take a sip from their cup, continuing the game on to the person on the right. The game ends when one person has finished his or her glass.
(E.g) Never have I ever - been snorkelling or Never have I ever - made besan ladoos.
Name the Christmas song: 8+
Minimum no. of players 6+
This is a very simple game that just requires a phone and speaker. All players are divided into two teams. There is one moderator who has the phone and is tasked with playing the Christmas songs. When the game begins, the moderator will play five seconds of the song chosen. The teams will then shout out if they know the song, if the correct song is guessed the moderator moves on to the next song, otherwise he will play another 5 seconds and continue this process until one team guesses the song. The game can be played with any amount of songs, and the winner will be determined by the team who has the most number of songs.
Author Usha Rajagopalan remembers working with the legendary V Kurien
I was at crossroads that December of 1982. Newly married, I had taken a short break as Editorial Assistant at the Indian Institute of Management, Ahmedabad to accompany my husband who had just joined the Institute of Rural Management at Anand. My dilemma was whether I should return to the assured position in IIMA or resign and, living in Anand, pursue the still fluid plan of becoming a creative writer. I decided to find out by writing an article on Dr. Kurien, the famed Milkman of India. He was kind enough to give an appointment and I went fully prepared to take his interview. For that whole one hour, he spoke and I listened, wide eyed and mouth half open in complete awe. At the end, he asked me if I would like to work in his office at the National Dairy Development Board (NDDB). My dilemma ended, solved by a completely unexpected third option.
I joined Chairman’s office as Junior Executive in February 1983. Almost immediately, my senior colleague left on maternity leave and I held the fort alone, seeking help constantly from Dr. Kurien’s personal secretary, Mr. Krishnamurthy. I needed all the assistance I could get because I had never met anyone like Dr. Kurien. The office timing was from 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. I would reach a good half an hour earlier to prepare for the day that invariably ended only by 7.30 p.m. He would come early too, take out a slip of paper from his pocket on which he would have jotted down the important tasks to be done and shoot a fusillade of instructions. He ended up doing far more than any list could contain. At the age of 62, he had a punishing regimen. He was a perfectionist and a taskmaster who expected the same from his subordinates. I could match the hours he put in but it was impossible for me to think of 20 steps ahead or to look at an issue from so many angles like he did.
Dr. Kurien worked all seven days though NDDB followed a six-day week. At the end of the year, the employees received a card on which the days of their absence were marked. Mine, in the first year, showed one day marked red. I was sure I hadn’t taken any leave and checked the calendar. It turned out that I had indeed applied for and taken one day off – a Sunday. A year or so later, through Mrs. Kurien’s intervention, Dr. Kurien agreed not to come to office after lunch on Sundays. I was able to leave too though invariably it would be 3 p.m. or later
Occasionally, after finishing work, he would ask me to accompany him to the IRMA campus which was coming up next door. He took great pride in the project and inspected the hostel buildings, the auditorium, office complex and the faculty and staff quarters. He once stopped in front of a house at the end of a line and asked, ‘What do you see, Madam?’
I looked closely and saw nothing amiss.
‘The switch box is not straight!’ he snapped.
Once I worked up courage and asked Dr. Kurien for a day off for Diwali. I wanted to invite some friends over for lunch.
‘What cooking do you know? What special dish will you make?’ he asked.
‘A payasam at least,’ I replied, standing my ground.
‘It better be good,’ he said. ‘I’ll come to taste.’
Oh yeah? I thought but didn’t dare say it aloud.
By then, we had moved to the spacious IRMA campus, ironically to the very same house with the ever so slightly tilting light switch that Dr. Kurien had got straightened.
The next morning, my husband and I bustled around cooking and cleaning the house. Around 11 a.m., the doorbell rang. Interrupted from chopping vegetables, my husband opened the door. Mrs. Kurien stood outside and wished sweetly, “Happy Diwali!”
She didn’t blink an eyelid at my husband’s appearance, checked lungi, bare chested and knife in hand. Dr. Kurien was sitting in the car with a distinct sparkle in his eyes.
Only those who worked with him knew the softer side of his personality which surfaced unexpectedly. One evening he peeped into my cabin as he was leaving office and said, ‘You know I’m going to Trivandrum tomorrow morning. Do you want me to tell your parents anything?’
‘It’s all right, Sir. Don’t bother. You’ll be busy and won’t remember.’
He insisted that I give him my parents’ telephone number. Even before he returned from his travel, my father called in great excitement to say that Dr. Kurien had telephoned him, enquired after the family and had said that I was doing well!
Dr. Kurien worked harder than anyone I knew but he also took the time for basic courtesies such as replying to letters promptly or thanking people, especially those who had met or hosted him during his travels. On his first day back in office, he would dictate a letter of thanks to his secretary, Mr. Krishnamurthy, addressed to each one of them and invited them over so that he may reciprocate their kindness. He was a stickler for punctuality and demanded it of others. Like all leaders, he had the gift of the gab and I would see visitors come under his spell like I had the first time I met him. Working with a legend like Dr. Kurien was a privilege not given to many. I just happened to be one of the lucky ones. Perhaps not so fortunate because other than the rich experience and very many memories, I do not have a single photograph with Dr. Kurien. I regret this with all my heart.
P.S – in case you are at all curious to know why I resigned from his office – I did so to be a full time mom and to keep writing.
This article first appeared here. It has been republished in Silver Talkies with the author's permission.
Photos courtesy: Ms Nirmala Kurien
Author photograph: Aditi Mahesh
Our member Hari Baskaran and his wife Deepa went on a driving holiday to Spiti Valley. He tells us how it helped to revive their spirit after months of the pandemic.
In August 2021 my wife and I went on a driving adventure to Spiti Valley and Manali with a group of senior citizens. Kaza is approximately 770 km from Delhi via Shimla and approximately 200 km from Manali. It was a fascinating and memorable adventure and a very welcome break after being cooped up at home for a year and a half due to the pandemic. Besides the sheer magnificence of the Himalayan Mountain ranges, this trip helped my wife and me break away from a nagging sense of fear and anxiety. We got back our mojo and regained our spirit of adventure.
In the months leading up to the expedition, there were heavy rains, flash floods and loss of lives near the areas we were to visit. Many well-wishers advised us not to go ahead as it was far too dangerous. Most travelogues and blogs also described some sections of the route as treacherous and a challenge for the most experienced of drivers. Besides, we had to cope with high altitudes. Senior citizens beware, is what they said.
Nevertheless, our intrepid group of senior citizens fed off the energy of each other and went ahead undaunted.
What followed was an unforgettable experience of a lifetime. The Himalayan ranges are awe-inspiring and the scenic beauty takes your breath away. The ancient 1000-year-old Buddhist monasteries were a delight. They house several valuable and ancient scriptures, artefacts and mural paintings. The little villages en route had eating places that offered wholesome food in memorable surroundings. At times the roads were in poor condition. Some sections were truly torturous and easily the worst roads we have ever been on. This added to the thrill and adventure and made it an unforgettable experience.
Why should senior citizens participate in these arduous events?
Besides the bragging rights, it brings you a whole host of benefits. Let me stick to the top three in this post.
These observations are backed by the studies (a special report by The Harvard Medical School - A guide to cognitive fitness) of several specialists in the field of eldercare.
Preparing for a Spiti Valley driving adventure
Clothing: We travelled light but carried layers of clothing to cope with warm and cold conditions. Warm innerwear, a light sweater, a fleece jacket and a warm jacket were more than adequate for us. The coldest temperatures in August were at night at Nako and Kaza where it dropped to 7 degrees. Day temperatures were around 20 degrees.
Medical kit: Besides sufficient quantities of our regular medicines, we carried contingency medicines such as paracetamol, anti-loose motion tablets, broad-spectrum antibiotics and Diamox for the prevention of high altitude sickness. We took a tablet of Diamox for a couple of days before reaching high altitudes. My wife developed mild symptoms due to high altitude sickness at Kaza but recovered immediately with Paracetamol. Staying hydrated is most important. Our highest points of stay overnight were Nako and Kaza at about 3600 metres. During the day we visited places that reached altitudes of about 4500 metres.
Stay and food: We had no problems locating decent places to stay at all our night halts. No prior bookings gave us the flexibility to change our plans at any time if it became necessary. There was good wholesome food at dhabas along the way and at our places of stay.
Type of vehicle: The roads were reasonably good at several places and very good at some places. The Losar – Kumjun La – Gramphu stretch was a bad one with dirt tracks and poor quality roads whenever we went off the highway. An SUV or 4-wheel drive with good ground clearance should be the vehicle of choice to do this trip. You are likely to hire a rented chauffeur-driven vehicle or hire a professional driver to drive your car. Here are some tips to help you ensure that you are well prepared for a long car journey.
https://www.team-bhp.com/safety/preparing-indian-road-trip
Electronics: A mobile phone camera is more than adequate. Reliance Jio had the best connectivity in the Spiti Valley so carry a Jio sim in addition to your usual sim. Carry a power bank and all your charging cables.
Finally take along oodles of high spirits, a willingness to take the rough with the smooth and an open mind for adventure and you will love this journey.
All photographs are courtesy Hari Baskaran.
Our member Sarala Upadhya writes on the joys of being creative and why creativity is ageless.
Recently, I was taking part in organising the Annual Day of our friends’ group. One of my friends was enthusiastically explaining about an event in which we had to think of the many ways of using a stick, long or short, plain or decorated. Suggestions for small mono-acts, demos, and skits were shared. Amid equally enthusiastic responses from the group, we managed to cull a dozen and more small acts around the given subject. It was truly a case of creative outburst. Within a span of 15 minutes, the whole event was finalised with the sequence and distribution of acts in place. It would have amazed any professional Design and Development team looking on.
Creativity is not necessarily learning and doing something new. The creative person draws information and skills from her experience everywhere.
One of my favorites is this lady on the popular video circuit, who can make eight types of breakfasts with the same basic batter. She added some small but significant variations in the basic recipe to get the variety in cooking. She has lakhs of followers on social media and probably earned quite well from creative culinary skills!
I wonder if we can all try and get creative that way. Sometimes we may think we are too old to do anything new. Because aging is generally associated with physical slowing down, loss of memory, and slow thinking.
You may be surprised to know that creativity can grow exponentially with aging if there is the right approach. Age can gather knowledge and experience. More importantly, a sense of intuition and wisdom also become acute. Aged people are better judges of what works and what does not.-
This may compensate for all the other age-related drawbacks. In addition, there is a certain boldness to take a chance, be creative and try out new things. If it works, well and good! If it does not, there is always a satisfaction of having tried. Being creative can be very beneficial for an aging person in more ways than one. It brings a certain positivity in life, being able to look forward to doing something new, something better, and even excelling in doing it. If the creative urge can bring out a new product useful for the community, there is a sense of fulfilment. You may have heard of Latika Chakraborty who turned into an entrepreneur by utilizing scraps of material to make beautiful bags.
Engaging in a creative activity is a true stressbuster because it is something that you really love to do.
My mother sat down in the afternoons and got busy making long necklaces embellished with beautiful flowers, all in cotton wool. They were used for puja on special occasions. That was her time for this silent engaging activity to unwind after a busy morning, taking care of a large family. That aside, she was ready to make snacks for us returning from school. She would be very happy if we appreciated her lovely creations and vied with each other to use them in puja. It seemed to energize her to do more of the creative work.-
Being creative is like giving nutritious food to the mind. Give yourself a generous helping without worrying about your sugars or pressures. Your heart will love the treat when someone says “Wow! You are so creative! Can you teach me how to do this?”
Bonding with your grandparents may never be easy, but have you ever tried to fill in the gaps? Richelle Adarsh, a teenage changemaker keen on cross-generational learning, shares with us some ways of filling generation gaps that make it a win-win for both generations.
Until I was 11 years old, my grandparents were almost like my roommates- we’d watch TV together, take naps together, eat together- and I wasn’t complaining. However, they moved out soon after and I got busy with school, extra classes, and my friends, just like any other teenager. I made sure to visit them on the weekends and stay over, and I wanted to use this short period of time to make up for the five days I was away from them. Want to know how? By indulging with them in activities that were enjoyable for both my grandparents and me. These activities helped me maintain the bond that was under threat of growing weaker due to distance.
Here are some ways that I bonded with my grandparents at home. The younger generation can try these methods online and knit a close bond with their grandparents even if they don’t live together or close enough to be able to visit.
Grandparents are the closest means to time travel
And that’s free entertainment for hours on end. So why would you give up an amazing opportunity to vicariously experience what it was like during the age of zero traffic, waiting weeks to receive letters which were the equivalent of today’s text message, or learning how they survived in a world that we would now consider extremely boring? Grandparents would gladly narrate their entire life story, and even if this is the seventh time you’re hearing about it, there’s a particular novelty to it, be it a tiny new detail that you had previously missed out on, or a new layer of meaning you’ve unraveled as you have grown older yourself.
Learning grandparents’ special recipes and kitchen hacks
It is common knowledge that the food that our grandparents make is unsurpassable. We may never be able to do justice to their cooking, but we can attempt to learn these recipes and their history, or certain tried and tested kitchen hacks that have come in handy over the years. Perhaps you could co-author a cookbook with your grandparents or help them write one like Ummi Abdulla’s granddaughter Nazneen did, filled with some delicious heirloom recipes to be passed down from generation to generation. Another great kitchen activity would be collaborating with your grandparents to give their traditional recipes a modern twist!
Exchanging tips on fashion and styling
When I was younger, I found immense joy in pestering my grandmother to let me “style” her beautiful, long hair only to tangle it up into an inextricable mess. I don’t think it’s necessary to put our grandparents through this torture to bond with them. However, a fun dress-up session– learning how to drape a saree or other traditional clothing, and in turn, maybe giving some of their clothes a modern twist, or helping them shop for clothes online would certainly evoke laughter while judging each other’s fashion choices.
Helping them navigate the virtual world
Besides helping them set up Whatsapp, Instagram or Facebook, helping them navigate around websites like Pinterest, or even Spotify could encourage them to explore their interests. It is also a great opportunity to collaborate by making mood boards or maybe even a playlist of your favorite songs together! For inspiration, check out Mr & Mrs Verma on Instagram. Their granddaughter introduced them to it during the lockdown and they’ve been slaying it ever since.
Passing on niche skills
A grandmother knitting a sweater, or a grandfather tending to his garden may be as stereotypical as it gets, but these skills, along with various others, such as crochet or even carpentry are fading away. A short lesson every day might just save these dying art forms and you could help them by finding new designs, patterns, or projects that would give them the pleasure of creating something for their grandkids, or better still, work on a project together. Check out 75-year-old Asha Puri’s knitting venture with her granddaughter Krittika Sondhi – With Love From Granny.
These activities could be a melange of sharing knowledge– both new and old, bridging the gap between generations that has widened with the advent of technology. Rather than being ignorant about the intergenerational gap, you can use it as the quintessential tool to create new memories. So take some time off your (supposedly busy) schedules and prepare to not just strengthen this bond, but also discover yourself in the process. You may learn a thing or two (or more) from the grandparents and they may open a new window because of you!
About The Author
Richelle Adarsh is an 18-year-old student and teacher, thanks to SilverTalkies, currently debating which of her multiple interests like psychology, media studies, or journalism to major in while pursuing her undergraduate studies. In her free time, she enjoys cooking, dancing, and reading, apart from watching Netflix.
Anxious and worried about the grim situation as the country battles the second wave of the pandemic? Here’s something that can ease your nerves and provide you some relief. Check out the museums across the world providing virtual tours online and get some happy hours for yourself.
Museums across the country and the world are reflections of the rich heritage and culture of human civilisation and a storehouse of the finest architecture, history and glory. With travel coming to a halt for the safety of one’s health amidst the pandemic, we bring before you a list of global museums of which you can take a virtual tour online from the comfort of home without having to step out.
Glass Pyramid, Louvre
The Louvre: How about getting a chance to be in Paris from your home and experiencing the grandeur of the Louvre – one of the world’s largest museums and the most iconic historic monuments of the city of love? You can now have free online tours of some of the most popular exhibits including the Egyptian Antiquities and Michaelangelo’s works. The online tour offers you a 360-degree look at the museum. In order to get additional information, you can click around the rare artifacts. You can take a virtual tour here: https://www.louvre.fr/en/online-tours#tabs
The British Museum
The British Museum: You don’t have to be in London physically anymore to take a tour of the British Museum. You can access its priceless collection of over eight million objects online. The museum has joined hands with the Google Cultural Institute to offer virtual tours to visitors from the comfort of their homes. You may take your virtual tour here: https://britishmuseum.withgoogle.com/
Tokyo National Museum
Top 5 Museums in Tokyo: Sit in your living room and get an impressive taste of the best museums in Tokyo online. You can now take a virtual tour of Tokyo National Museum, The National Museum of Modern Art, Tokyo, The National Museum of Western Art, Tokyo, National Museum of Nature and Science and Kioi Art Gallery, Edo Ise-Katagami Kimono Museum. Get your virtual tour here: https://artsandculture.google.com/story/EwVhCgGIR8ITXg
Kiran Nadar Museum
Kiran Nadar Museum Of Art, New Delhi: Welcome to India’s first private museum of art exhibiting modern and contemporary works of art, online. Established by avid art collector, Kiran Nadar and opened to the public in 2010, the collection comprises a magnificent generation of 20th-century Indian painters from the post-independent decades and those of the younger contemporaries. Take the virtual tour of the museum here: https://knma.netlify.app/
The Dalí Theatre Museum
The Dalí Theatre Museum: Here’s a chance of quenching your love for Spanish art. Virtual tours are now possible for the Dalí Theatre Museum, completely dedicated to the artwork of Salvador Dalí. In fact, the artist himself is buried there. Click here to get a virtual tour: https://www.salvador-dali.org/en/museums/dali-theatre-museum-in-figueres/visita-virtual/
The Solomon R. Guggenheim Museum
The Solomon R. Guggenheim Museum: Welcome to the priceless pieces of artwork at New York’s Solomon R. Guggenheim Museum now online. Designed by Frank Lloyd Wright, this museum has a treasure exhibit of the works of Franz Marc, Piet Mondrian, Pablo Picasso and Jeff Koons. Click here to get more information on virtual tours and book your slot: https://www.guggenheim.org/group-visits
The National Gallery of Art
The National Gallery Of Art: You may be miles away from Washington DC but that won’t let you miss a chance to tour the National Gallery of Art. Founded in 1937, this museum, a storehouse of impressive antiques and art pieces, can now be accessed virtually online. You can also get hold of the audio and video recordings of the past lectures online. Take your virtual tour here: https://www.nga.gov/global-site-search-page.html?searchterm=virtual%20tour%20&category=Online%20Features&pageNumber=1&lastFacet=category
Take the virtual tour of these museums online, get enriched and enlightened and share your experience with us in the comments section. Have you been a museumgoer and a museology enthusiast? If you want to share your exciting experiences, write to us at connect@silvertalkies.com. We can help you share your happy tales by featuring them in our magazine.
Image Courtesy: Wikimedia Commons & Twitter
Fake news can be dangerous. Read this to know the hacks of spotting misinformation online.
Think back to 2020. You must have received or seen numerous posts on social media or WhatsApp claiming gargling with warm water mixed with salt or vinegar was an effective home remedy for Covid-19. These posts went viral on social media and claimed that Coronavirus could be cured through home remedies.
As the world’s largest democracy with the second largest population, India struggles with the contagion of fake news like the above. With an estimated 650 million people online in 2020, India has the second-largest number of internet users in the world. Fifty percent of India’s population is estimated to have internet access. India is the largest user base for platforms like FB, WhatsApp and YouTube. Internet is no longer an urban commodity in India. According to the Annual Search India Report (2020), Google, two out of three Google searches come from outside metro cities like Bangalore, Chennai, Delhi, Hyderabad, Kolkata, Mumbai and local language search has increased by 10 times.
We are living in an age of information overdose that may or may not be verified. Misinformation or fake news could be misleading and even fatal. A Covid-19 positive patient got critical after drinking sanitiser in UP based on misinformation floating on social media. In Faridabad, a Covid-19 positive chemist tried to self-medicate to ward off symptoms based on fake info on social media. A video made by a Pakistan-based NGO to spread awareness on child kidnapping was doctored and released in India with the aim to make people believe that some men from Pakistan were kidnapping Indian children. That resulted in tragic consequences, lynchings, mob violence and deaths across several states in India.
So how do you spot fake news from this sea of information? Samrin Inayati, a Google certified trainer at FactShala, a news and information literacy programme tells us how.
Not everything is news: Not everything that looks like news online is actually news. In traditional media, raw information is published only when it is verified and cross checked from reliable sources by reporters and editors. However, in social media there is no verification, no gatekeeping or editors and one swipe is all it takes to publish. So everything on social media is not the real news
Think critically and analyse: People process information differently. We see things a lot differently than others even when staring at the same image. Analyse the information from different perspectives, compare it with similar situations, evaluate it critically, conclude objectively and then decide what to believe and do. If you get information that the World Health Organisation (WHO) has stated that drinking herbal tea can control Coronavirus, it is important for you to understand why WHO has said so, do some research and then believe and follow. Be a smart consumer of news and become responsible citizens.
Do not go with the flow blindly: You do not have to believe everything to fit in and feel accepted in a group. If you get a WhatsApp message from a group that states Covid-19 vaccine is harmful, do not accept it just because others in the group believe it. Question yourself, find relevant research and sources of information and then make an informed choice.
Identify your biases: We often tend to get bias, a tendency, inclination or prejudice towards something or someone. Beliefs and personal biases play a big role in deciding whether someone will believe or even reject a message and prevent us from questioning the authority, reveals a user study conducted by Google. We tend to believe in lies mostly because of confirmation bias that implies favouring information that confirms our existing beliefs.
Keep source amnesia in mind: Source amnesia means we remember information but we forget or remember incorrectly where it came from. When it aligns with our point of view we tend to believe it came from a credible source and when it does not align, we consider the source to be non-credible. This too could make us believe misinformation.
Understand reiteration, the illusory truth effect: We are more likely to believe things we hear repeatedly. But hearing something repeatedly does not mean that it is true.
Ask these key questions: Who’s behind the information? Is the sender a credible authority on the subject? What do other sources say?
Does the evidence shared corroborate the claim?
Check data and time: Remember to check the publication date as old articles are often recycled and republished to serve a political purpose.
Check comments: Go through the comments that may appear below the article or publications. Internet users at times provide backed-up arguments contradicting what has been written and provide links to more responsible articles with verified sources.
Beware of the red flags on WhatsApp: Look for single arrow and double arrow signs. The first indicates the post is not original and has been forwarded. You must investigate the post before believing it. The latter indicates it has been forwarded multiple times. Before forwarding again, you must check if you are circulating any misinformation.
GOOD TO KNOW
Social media adds to confirmation bias through filter bubbles. The artificial intelligence used in social media keeps a track of what we search online and shows up news, ads, videos, images similar and relevant to our searches, matching our interests.
Examples of bias-based misinformation
A map went viral claiming the crazy spread of Chinese nationals from Wuhan to spread Coronavirus globally. However, the map actually showed connectivity of flights at a point of time. Why was it shared indiscriminately? Because it supported the bias that China has spread Coronavirus globally. Due to a bias that consumption of non-veg is harmful for health and it can cause Coronavirus, a post claiming that consumption of broiler chicken was causing the spread of Covid-19 went viral.
How can you spot media bias?
How do you protect your family from misinformation?
Some of these websites are:
Vishvas News (Hindi)
PIB for government information
Google fact check explorer: This is a verified tool by Google that helps in photo verification. It is a search engine only for fact check stories. You can go here, put a few words of the forwarded message and click on the search icon and then you can find it. Put Covid Home remedy in it and see the results you get.
Google Reverse Image Search: You can upload an image or paste an image URL and it will show you whether the image is genuine or if it is morphed and photoshopped.
These tips can keep you on your toes enabling you to spot fake news and misinformation and make informed decisions.
On the month of World Health Day and Earth Day, here’s a list of #gogreen ideas from Silver Talkies.
“A nation that destroys its soils destroys itself. Forests are the lungs of our land, purifying the air and giving fresh strength to our people” rightly said, Franklin D. Roosevelt.
Living the green way not only provides senior citizens a new purpose in their second innings but also brings a plethora of health benefits that one may not be able to imagine. Urban environments often lack access to green spaces due to the proliferation and density of buildings, and a significant number of urban elderly residents have been found to be more vulnerable to mental health issues such as stress and depression compared to the rural elderly population that is more prone to an eco-friendly, green and sustainable way of life, shows the latest study. Going green can encourage physical activity, social interaction and contact with nature reducing psychological stress. Here are some #gogreen ideas that you can try.
Craft a home garden: That’s one of the best ways to keep yourself engaged and close to nature. If you are able to, utilise the space at the front yard, backyard or even the rooftop or your balcony if you have one. Do some research, talk to experts, join a gardening club and adapt the sustainable ways of gardening like mulching, removing the invasive plant species, using homemade fertilisers as recommended by the National Wildlife Federation and grow plants by yourself. Seniors engaging in tilling soil and watering plants are more likely to embrace green living habits. Gardening acts as a low impact physical activity offering moderate aerobic exercise, increasing the production of happy hormones – serotonin and dopamine, decreasing the amount of cortisol – a stress hormone, regulating your mood, giving you quality Vitamin D and making your bone health and immunity stronger.
Want to know some of the valuable home gardening hacks? Join Silver Talkies Social Gardening Club which is exclusive for members of Silver Talkies Social. Not a member yet? Click here to know how to become one.
Eat organic: Nothing is better than having a plate of fresh and organic vegetables and fruits daily for older adults. With growing age, the immunity system grows feeble and processed foods could pose a danger to health. Also, veggies and fruits loaded with harmful chemicals and pesticides are not only threatening to health but also harm the environment. You can find out sources that grow organic vegetables and fruits or grow your own. All you need is the will to eat only organic and adapt #gogreen your way.
Organise a resident-initiated recycling program: If you live in a gated community or a senior living community, this could be a great exercise. Be updated with the latest recycling policies and share recycling tips that all residents can keep in kind. Avoid using products that cannot be recycled, make your own recycled coffee mugs and cans and use them. There are several organizations across cities that collect recyclable items and need volunteers to coordinate collections for them. It’s a great way to use time if you can spare and give back. Getting engaged in such recycling activities and creativity enhances your social engagement and keeps your mental health up to the mark.
Go for tools that would save energy and water: Get tech smart and replace your old light bulbs with energy-efficient and smart devices. Unplug all of your devices including toasters, toaster ovens and any small appliances when they are not being used. Choose high-efficiency showerheads and sink faucet aerators that can help prevent wasteful practices in washrooms and kitchens.
Get sustainable products: Make it a habit to use only sustainable products and reduce your carbon footprint. In return, get a healthy environment to live healthily. Reusable water bottles, paper straws, bamboo toothbrushes and hairbrushes, glass spray bottles, glass storage containers, bamboo dishcloths instead of paper towels, laminated bowl covers instead of plastic wraps, and silicone food bags for snacks and sandwiches are some of the daily things that you can encourage yourself to use for sustainable living and your own well-being.
Have you been leading a sustainable life already or working towards it? Let us know your ideas too and we will add them here. Post in the comments below or email us at connect@silvertalkies.com.
All you must know about coping with spouse bereavement and finding a new purpose in life.
Narmatha Murthy, 68, lost her husband 14 years ago. What followed was a huge void in her life and a loss of purpose to live. She took six long years to overcome the emotional toll .“I was totally dependant on him. He was a doctor, had his clinic at home and would be with me 24/7. He was my mentor and taught me how to manage finance and banking, made me learn new languages like Kannada, taught me to take care of my health and everything. We would even travel to his medical conferences together. When I lost him I was in my early 50s and my world shattered,” recalls Murthy.
The incident made Murthy, who had been an introverted and shy person, come out of her shell. “Financially I was in a good shape but the toughest part for me was to overcome the sadness. To get over that I booked an apartment and took up interior decoration and even now I keep myself busy with the same. Apart from that, I cook and take care of myself, I take care of all my properties, manage the tenants and travel. Just two years back I joined Silver Talkies Social and made multiple new friends. I travelled to Banaras with them right before the lockdown and made great memories. Keeping oneself busy and socially engaged are the best ways to cope with spousal bereavement,” says Murthy whose children live overseas.
Narayan Pillai, now 64, lost his wife four years back, it was an unexpected shocker. His wife underwent cardiac surgery, suffered from septicemia and succumbed to the condition. “She was a school teacher, hale and happy, who voluntarily decided to go for the surgery during one of her school breaks and did not survive it. It takes a considerable time to sync with it as one has to face a big vacuum, something which one never contemplates at all before it happens. Also, there’s a big gap to fill when you don’t have the lady of the house going forward,” says Pillai.
Though the sense of loss never goes away, after the first few weeks, Pillai decided to get back to normal life the best way he could. “I was retired by then but realised the best way to cope with the situation was to keep myself occupied. I took up a full-time assignment with a company that kept me going for the next two years and busy from morning to evening. However, the challenge of making a home without a woman exists and will exist. As my wife was a working lady, we had basic support systems like a house help and a cook. But getting the groceries at the right time and managing the house which I did not bother about earlier, now requires my attention.”
Pillai believes that getting attached to a like-minded group can immensely help. “The amount of socialising we do throughout our life is very limited due to work and other responsibilities and once we retire, we become almost immobile and social engagement becomes minimal. A club like Silver Talkies Social plays a significant role in getting seniors to engage with like-minded people and overcome loneliness,” he says.
Wellness Impact
Whether prepared for it or not, the loss of a partner impacts an elderly person’s health, both mental and physical, say geriatric psychiatrists.
“The severity of the impact depends on how death has happened. In case of a car accident or a sudden cardiac arrest, the extent of grief is more compared to a case where a person had been chronically unwell and the partner was aware that death was evident and could happen at any time. In cases of those suffering from conditions like Dementia, the partner who also happens to be the caregiver in a majority of cases, often witnesses the burden of life that the elderly dear one had to bear and often prays for his or her peaceful death over a sad life and later suffers from a deep sense of guilt when the person passes away,” says Dr Soumya Hegde, Consultant Geriatric Psychiatrist from Bengaluru.
Partners during the silver years become interdependent on each other and taking care of each other becomes their purpose in life. “When one passes away, it becomes extremely difficult to accept for the other,” says Dr Hegde.
The Gender Difference
Women, in most cases, are more dependent on their husbands in terms of managing the finances or works related to banks, says Dr Hegde. “When the male partner passes away, it becomes a mammoth task for their wives to understand finance amidst all that grief. They become helpless, dependant on their children and often feel their dignity hurt. Also, the traditional Indian society has several norms and rituals that a woman has to follow on losing their husbands and they often have to go through major lifestyle changes which may impact a woman’s bereavement more.”
The men, on the other hand, go through a sense of emotional loss of losing a companion, she believes.
Health Factors
A sense of guilt, sadness, depression, loneliness, pathological bereavement where some people go through the vision of the past, find it hard to let go of anything related to the late partner, feel a sense of guilt to be happy or eat something good and have bouts of crying even beyond six months of losing a partner are some of the common mental problems that an elderly partner may suffer from after the death of a spouse. “Pathological bereavement beyond 4 to 6 months certainly needs medical attention,” says Dr Hegde.
The mental and physical health trauma due to losing a spouse among the elderly ranks highest on the stress scale, says Dr Santosh Bangar, Consultant Old Psychiatrist, Dementia Specialist and Neuropsychiatrist, Mumbai. “Apart from the bereavement that may become a severe, clinical depression, there are a wide number of physical impacts as well. On losing a partner, the other person may stop taking medicines on time or go out for a walk and exercise alone and this could lead to a sedentary lifestyle and worsen the already existing physical ailments or result in the development of new ailments. Physical health conditions that get affected are Diabetes, Hypertension, Cardiac Diseases. There could be possibilities of a stroke, heart attack due to excessive anxiety and stress,” says Dr Bangar.
Finding a rainbow is possible even in the midst of grief
Coping with Loss
“Older adults must be kept engaged in some kind of physical activities and must be kept active. Social engagement plays a vital role in coping. The person must be encouraged to have his or her own world of companions, hobbies and interests. Family support is important and companionship must be encouraged to give them a chance to share good memories, helping the person to get back to the normal track of life, making him or her more independent with an emphasis on autonomy. Most importantly, the person must be given adequate time, respect and space and the grief should not be generalised and the context of the grief should be understood in order to help the person overcome the grief. There is an evidence-based treatment, individualistic psychotherapy, cognitive behaviour therapy, grief therapy involving structured sessions that are immensely useful in coping with the bereavement,” says Dr Debanjan Banerjee, Psychiatrist at NIMHANS, Bengaluru.
Planning to start an online business? These tips can help you give start and plan it well.
A latest survey report has shown that about 25 percent of Indians would want a second innings post-retirement in a career they love and another 25 percent expressed their desire to start a business on their own once they retire. Not a surprise, given the changing concept of retirement and several people using their post-retirement years to explore different ventures and career options. Snehil Verma, the co-founder of Deeveo Beauty, a sustainable skincare brand, shares some valuable inputs on turning your passion into purpose and starting your own online business from home.
How do you define a small online business?
A small online business is made up of your passion, creativity, hard work, and time management, aiming toward customer and seller satisfaction and slow and steady growth. Your business will fetch you happiness when you cook your passion with creativity and put in the effort to make a mark. You need to manage your time wisely and properly so that the business does not become a burden for you. You also have to make sure that your business gives both you and your customers a sense of satisfaction and grows slowly and steadily.
Why online?
Why do we focus on online business so much rather than opening a shop next to our house? Verma has an intelligent analysis about going online with your business as she showcases before you the strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, and threats (SWOT) of an online business.
Online business and its strength
Opportunities that it creates
Online business and its weakness
Possible threats
Processing your online business in a smarter way
The formula for making a small online business a hit, according to Verma, is UP BUILTER – understanding, planning, building, testing, and refining it.
Understanding your business: You can do it by thorough research, creating your own ideas, realizing and meeting the legal needs, having a keen knowledge on profitability, difficulty, and competition, and set your expectations out of it and that of the customers. Also, you will have to personalize your ideas.
Planning it: Chalk out your objectives, frame a structure, go for a dry run and check; build up your strategies, have your timeline and finance fixed and get prepared for product development.
Building it: Mark your target audience and strategize marketing, work on product placement on multiple platforms, focus on the photography and presentation of your product, and engage in regular interaction via stories, polls, posts, videos, and more to make some noise about your product and get feedback, promote and advertise for your product/service. Platforms like Instagram have great advertising features that can mark your customers and can show your ad specifically to them.
Testing it: It is essential to test and find out the customer preferences, analyze the demand for the product/service and focus more on that. Collect data and keep a record of whatever is happening in your business.
Refining it: Improvise business module, aesthetic, product design, packaging, time periods, and more, come to terms with what is working and what is not, and keep generating new ideas constantly. Some apps that may make your journey a cakewalk
Tips on dealing with consumers
Tips on social media marketing
Verma believes that living through pandemics like COVID-19 and sustaining an online business requires some hacks. “Acknowledging the pandemic, showing your methods of adaptation, keeping COVID-19 in mind while forming new ideas and marketing tactics can help your online business tackle the impact of the pandemic,” says Verma who recently conducted a workshop for Silver Talkies Social Members, guiding them towards a successful online business and encouraging them to become entrepreneurs in their second innings.
Want to join our online events? Follow our event page to stay updated.
7 India’s ancient folk art forms that must be preserved and taken care of.
On Republic Day every year, the PM’s address focuses on the revival of the ancient art forms of India which are gradually getting lost in the digital age. Veteran actor Arundhati Nag once told Silver Talkies that today’s parents and grandparents must make sure that the children get to know about India’s ancient art forms as these create lasting impressions in one’s life and will help them grow well.
“We are making a huge mistake by just going the Disney way when we have our own Pattachitra or Phad painting which will just disappear if we do not collect them. If people don’t buy a Phad painting or a Pichwai, they will become extinct. Each of these arts is infused with meaning and our next generation must be able to understand the meaning,” Nag highlighted. There’s a treasure trove in Indian art if you were only to look. Here’s a 72nd Republic Day special on some of India’s unique folk art forms.
Madhubani: Also known as Mithila art, Madhubani dates back 2500 years ago to the time of Ramayana and emerged from the Mithila region of Bihar. It portrays the grand wedding of Princess Sita, daughter of King Janaka to Prince Rama, the son of Dasrath, the king of Ayodhya. It is assumed that King Janak had entrusted an artist to capture the moments of his precious daughter’s wedding and that’s how Madhubani took its form. Through generations, Madhubani has been used mostly by women to create awareness on social issues like education and empowerment. It is painted using fingers, twigs, brushes, nib-pens and matchsticks and natural dyes and pigments.
Indian Miniature Paintings: The tradition of Indian miniature painting can be traced to the 9th-10th century though it truly came into its own in the Mughal period in the 16th century. Inspired by the Persian art styles, Indian miniature paintings boast of the intricate handmade details and unique illustrations of humans within a small frame. Men in turbans, women in traditional clothes with large eyes, a pointed nose and a slim waist are the signature style of miniature paintings from the Mughal era.
Phad: Originated in Rajasthan and painted on a canvas or cloth either 15 feet or 30 feet in length, Phad paintings are mainly scroll painting and depict the narratives of folk deities Pabuji or Devnarayan. These are traditionally painted using vegetable colours capturing the heroic tales of deities.
Warli: Another ancient Indian art form, Warli dates back to 2,500 BC and emerged from the Western Ghats. It’s a tribal art form using geometrical shapes – circles, triangles and squares to depict day-to-day life activities like fishing, hunting, festivals and dance. White shapes on dark backgrounds are the signature of this traditional art form.
Kalamkari: There are two varieties of this ancient Indian art form based on the places of their origin in Andhra Pradesh – Machilipatnam style based out of Machilipatnam and Srikalahasti based out of Chittoor. Its name is Persian derived from two words – Kalam meaning pen and Kari meaning craftsmanship indicating that the painting is done using a pen. It is widely seen on sarees depicting flowers, nature as well as the Indian Epics – the Mahabharata and the Ramayana.
Tanjore: A native of the Tanjore town in Tamil Nadu, this painting belongs to the period of Cholas – one of the longest-ruling dynasties in South Indian history. Gold foil and metallic colours are used extensively in this art form. A piece of wood is also used as a canvas to give a 3D effect.
Batik: In India, the roots of Batik run back to the 1st century AD, traditionally among the Khatri community in Gujarat. Its resurgence began after it was introduced as a part of the syllabus in Rabindranath Tagore’s Viswa-Bharati in Birbhum, West Bengal. This ancient art form includes three steps – waxing, dyeing and scraping where the wax is used to create designs on pre-defined areas on cotton and silk fabric. It is then dyed and then the wax is removed either by scraping or boiling the cloth to peel off the wax, resulting in a rich, colourful design.
Image Courtesy: Pinterest
Usha Rajagopalan grew up with giant squirrels and black monkeys for pets. She remembers them with love in her new book.
When we complete the chapter titled ‘Hiss Tales’ of ‘The Zoo In My Backyard’, my nine-year-old son is somewhat disappointed: “Why didn’t they keep the snakes as pets?”
I shudder at the very thought and tell him it’s a good thing they didn’t but also suppress an involuntary laugh. After all, Usha Rajagopalan, the writer of this book, can be held entirely responsible for building up that expectation!
The Zoo In My Backyard is her account of a unique childhood in 1960s Thiruvananthapuram, Kerala, spent in the company of animals. The animals, brought back by her father after his ‘tours’ were nurtured in their home before being taken back to the Thiruvananthapuram Zoo. The tours weren’t like the ones many of her friends’ fathers did. Rajagopalan’s father AS Ananthasubramaniam was a conservator of forests and on his tours to those areas, he got his lucky children a menagerie that is certainly worth a book and more.
From an elephant to a black monkey, peacocks to rabbits, mouse deer to a giant squirrel, Rajagopalan and her siblings had them all!
Usha Rajagopalan with her pets, Max & Tiffany/Image courtesy: Usha Rajagopalan
The autobiographical book, the prolific Rajagopalan’s eighth, is a tribute to her father, the man who instilled a lifelong love for conservation in her. It is aimed at creating that love in the reader’s heart too.
‘They (animals) came as weaklings or orphans whom we nursed back to health and surrendered to the Thiruvananthapuram Zoo. It broke our hearts to see these dear ones leave, but we derived strength from the fact that my father, Anna, as we called him, would get us another animal or bird before long. For in the call of duty, he had to travel to the remotest forests in the state of Kerala.’ Rajagopalan writes.
Her stories, laced with the touch of easy humour evident in much of her writing, make for fantastic reads, especially for a city-bred child like my son, who cannot believe Rajagopalan’s parents allowed her to keep a monkey as a pet. Named Kesavan, the antics of the black monkey as he learns to rip apart the fuse make for a chuckle-worthy chapter but also highlights the extent of dedication nurturing another living being takes. Like many of the pets, Kesavan’s impish behaviour gets too much for Manni, Rajagopalan’s harried mother. She held my real admiration through the book, considering the well-meaning pandemonium that surrounded her at home. Caught between the ever-eager children and her conservationist husband, Manni had to deal with several prospective pets whenever her husband was back from a forest tour – a baby elephant called Kuttan and for a very, very brief while – even an angry brown bear!
Usha and her siblings feeding deer at Neyyar Lake, Kerala/Image courtesy: Usha Rajagopalan
Enjoyed reading Gerald Durrell’s famous book ‘My family and Other Animals?’ Rajagopalan’s book will make a suitable companion for it on your bookshelf, its stories more relatable perhaps, as they are closer home. As Dr Lee Durell, his wife writes in the forward to this book:
What is more important than the popularity of this genre is what this genre of animal books reveal about human nature. It reveals an inescapable link between humans and animals and shows that humans are members of the animal kingdom, and our fellow creatures deserve our respect, admiration and love.
Rajagopalan, also well-known as one of the pioneers of citizen-led lake revival in Bengaluru, has wanted to write this book for several years. It began life earlier when she wrote a fortnightly column in The Deccan Herald called ‘Kookaburra Laughs’ about her childhood. ‘The Zoo in my Backyard’ includes some of those stories. Read it for a fascinating insight into a truly unusual childhood and the light-hearted yet valuable lessons in adopting, nurturing and letting go of what we love.
The Zoo In My Backyard is published by Manipal University Press. You can buy it here.
Cover image Silver Talkies
Writer, musician and activist Sakuntala Narsimhan shared experience about her visit to Pakistan which is no less than a wave of emotions and makes us realise we are no different but one.
I was walking in the heart of Karachi, looking for an address, when I suddenly realized that the tea shop owner whom I had asked for directions, was following me. A few steps on, the boy from the kabadi shop next to the tea stall joined him, and soon a large crowd was following me, whispering among themselves – I could catch the words “India sey (from India)”.
I didn’t feel threatened for even a moment. The moment the tea shop owner heard that I was looking for an address in that locality, he enthusiastically offered to escort me to that address. One of my friends had told me when she heard I was going to Karachi for a conference, that her father, a railway official, had been posted at Karachi before independence; she also gave me the address of the building they had lived in, and that was the place I was trying to trace so that I could take a picture of it back to her in Bengaluru. Perhaps the man misunderstood; he thought I had lived in Karachi as a child and was looking for the building my family had lived in.
There I was, a woman with a bindi, obviously from India, being followed by a large and excited crowd. They took me to the address, I took pictures; the entire crowd burst out clapping. As I prepared to return to my hotel, the tea shop man said, “Apa (sister), please have some tea before you go – badhiya chai, my stall is famous for chai..” Others wanted to have a picture taken with me. Never for a moment did I feel hostility. I was like a “long lost” sister they were thrilled to meet.
This was the kind of reception I got, during all of three visits to Pakistan (Islamabad and Karachi). My favourite recollection (that I have written and talked about many times) is about visiting a sweets shop and asking for Karachi halwa (which I used to relish as a child in Delhi). The salesman asked me (the usual question) “Aap India sey?” then laughingly declared, “No, apa, I will only give you Delhi halwa”. It was exactly the same stuff, but he enjoyed calling it Delhi halwa; we call it Karachi halwa in India! “Kya farak padtha hai ? (what does it matter)
Exactly. Kay farak padtha hai? Look at the countless commonalities – we eat the same food, speak the same languages, have the same musical traditions and heritage, dress alike, love cricket, even share relatives across geo-political borders (which were, after all, drawn arbitrarily by man). Iqbal and Manto and Faiz Ahmed Faiz belong to the literary traditions on both sides. Thousand of Pakistani families have grandparents who grew up in India; thousands of Indians have close relatives on the other side (aunts, and uncles, even brothers) People-to-people, as I have seen, the ties of dosti (friendship) are strong, it is only the political hostility that mars the relations. Kashmir is a bone of contention—it is a valuable region, scenic, and a world tourist attraction for generating foreign exchange, so both countries covet it. The Hindu ruler opted for India at the time of partition, the population is largely Muslim. After 74 years of discussions, the problem has not been resolved.
I was in Berlin shortly after the infamous wall was demolished – not by the governments but by Germans fed up with the division into East and West. It was an emotional experience, beside the demolished wall. If the people of India and Pakistan declared that enough is enough and managed to persuade their governments to seek an acceptable solution, what a tremendous bonus it could be to the two neighbours ! As countries, we both face similar socio-economic problems – poverty, low literacy and health parameters. If we could link hands, we could assist each other in removing these handicaps. Both countries could benefit.
For the conference that I went to in Karachi, I produced an Indo-Pak “jugalbandi” (duet) with a Pakistani vocalist, for the inaugural session, choosing a poem with alternate lines in Bhojpuri and Persian. It went down so well that we were asked to repeat it for the closing ceremony on the last day. Our tabla accompanist was a Christian, the harmonium player was a Muslim, I was a Hindu and my vocalist-partner was a Muslim. Kya farak padtha hai? We made music together. Those who sing and play together, live in harmony, right?
Sure, there are narrow-minded bigots on both sides – as there are everywhere, in all countries and cultures – but they are a minority. The people are largely peace-loving.
We are like two cousins, with common grandparents, living in adjacent flats, but not on talking terms. But the cousins’ children love playing together and are great friends. The cousins frown on this friendship and even lock their doors sometimes, but the kids continue to be chums regardless. That is how it is between India and Pakistan. As a people, we are like those kids, fond of each other, eager for links and friendly ties and exchanges; if only the political differences could be unraveled, what could we not achieve, as neighbours!
There are a number of people-to-people friendship groups; we don’t even need visas (which are hard to get); we can in the meantime promote amity via virtual links and internet dialogues. As people, on both sides, we are not doing enough to bring democratic pressure on our leaders, to extend the hands of friendship. Time to sing more jugalbandis?
Cover image: Nazim Laghari on Unsplash
OTT platforms are not just for youngsters, the seniors too are rocking it. Here is a list of some top senior-friendly shows. Watch them and chill out.
The pandemic-induced lockdown and the need to remain within the four walls of home has given Indian seniors the chance to explore a lot of new avenues, virtually. Older adults have adapted to technology and virtual platforms over the past few months and over-the-top (OTT) platforms are no exception. OTTs provide television and film content over the internet like Netflix, Amazon Prime or Hotstar and are popular among older adults too!
There has been a significant surge in viewership on OTT platforms over the last few months. Around 3 to 4 million new viewers have started watching Netflix, Amazon Prime, Hotstar, Alt Balaji and more as they remained at home. Urban seniors we spoke to have spent about two to six hours on a daily basis binge-watching Netflix, Amazon Prime shows during the lockdown and their choice comes as quite a surprise as Comedy, Crime and Thrillers have won the silver hearts. Here is a list of favourite shows among seniors that you may watch next or recommend an elderly dear one to watch.
Shows On Netflix You Must Watch
Our Planet: For nature lovers, this is a great inspiration. Falling under the genre of Science and Nature Documentaries, this series unravels our planet’s natural beauty and examines how climate change impacts all.
Edge Of The Universe: This three-episode long show will keep you all captured as leading astronomers reveal the latest discoveries about death-trap planets, asteroids, comets and other wonders of the cosmos.
Sherlock: This witty and suspenseful four-season series belongs to the Crime genre and is based on the breathtaking adventures of the world’s greatest known detective, Sherlock Holmes.
Stranger Things: In case you are a Sci-Fi and thriller addict, this one is binge-worthy. Spanning across three seasons it tells about a mystery involving secret experiments and terrifying supernatural forces.
The Comedy Line-up: This is a stand-up comedy show where a diverse group of upcoming comedians perform 15-minute sets and tickle your funny bone.
Shows On Amazon Prime That You Must Watch
Upload: If you have ever wondered about what happens after death, this funny series will give you a very different and unique version of heaven in the future. This heart-warming and quirky comedy will certainly keep you engaged for quite some time.
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel: Do you enjoy comedy? Also, do you love reading 1950 classics and enjoy the characters? Then, this is a must-watch. Deep dive into the 50’s costumes, scenery and drama and run through the inspiring story of a 1950 American housewife’s journey to becoming a stand-up comedian. Sounds impressive? Watch it now.
Homecoming: Want to sip in some suspense and thrills? Watch Homecoming, a psychological thriller that tells you about a woman who helps military personnel get back to their normal civilian lives. Starring Julia Roberts, this series gives you two seasons that are uniquely different from each other.
Jack Ryan: For those craving for some adrenaline rush, Jack Ryan is the one. It is a spy-thriller filled with much action as Ryan, a former marine, uncovers a global terrorist spot as his first training assignment to be an analyst for the CIA.
Shows You Must Not Miss Out On Disney Plus Hotstar
Old is always gold and Hotstar brings back a host of 90s shows that you would love to watch again.
Sarabhai vs Sarabhai: Who can forget the famous Sarabhai family from this popular sitcom? A mother-in-law from a uber-wealthy family, a daughter-in-law with quintessential middle-class bargaining power, a father-in-law who loves trolling his son and a brother-in-law whose poetic skills are nothing but a nuisance, the Sarabhai family can bring you the perfect dose of happiness during grumpy times.
Malgudi Days: Taking you back to the Doordarshan days, Malgudi Days offers you a great chance of reminiscence. Based on RK Narayan’s story, Malgudi Days tells you tales of day to day lives of people in a fictional, sleepy town in South India.
Khichdi: Remember the Parekhs who always managed to find themselves in hilarious situations? Watch this award-winning series and go back to the happy old days of joint family.
Twin Peaks: If you love watching horror and thriller genres, this old and popular American drama that tells the story of FBI agent Dale Cooper who travels to Twin Peaks for investigating the murder of a high school girl is a great watch. However, this show is not recommended for those with weak nerves.
The Sopranos: Here’s a great deal for crime lovers. The Sopranos is a very popular crime drama series on a leading American-Italian mafia member who tries to strike a balance between his criminal and family life.
Entertaining Shows on Alt Balaji That You Musn’t Miss
Bose: Dead or Alive – This is a period drama and biopic of Indian freedom fighter, Netaji Subhash Chandra Bose featuring the acclaimed actor, Rajkumar Rao in the lead role as Netaji. This is certainly a binge-watch and will take you back to the pre-Independence days.
Mission Over Mars: This web series revolves around four strong and independent women who do not accept defeat easily. Based on an interesting plotline, the series talks about the space expeditions of India.
How Much Do You Pay To Subscribe?
Netflix Subscription Plan: The basic subscription plan for Netflix amounts to INR 499 per month, thereby allowing 1 screen at a time. The standard Netflix subscription plan costs INR 649 per month, allowing 2 screens at a time. The Netflix Premium plan costs INR 799, allowing 4 screens at a time. To enable you to watch Netflix on your mobile phones, it has now come up with a mobile-only plan which costs INR 199 for a month for 1 mobile screen.
Amazon Prime Subscription Plan: The Amazon Prime cost per month is INR 129 and the yearly subscription price is INR 999.
Disney Plus Hotstar Subscription Plan: The Hotstar subscription offers two packages—the Hotstar Premium package and the Hotstar VIP package. The monthly charges for the Premium package are INR 299, while the annual charge for the same is INR 1499. The Hotstar yearly subscription charge for the VIP plan is INR 399.
Alt Balaji Subscription Plan: Alt Balaji subscription offers quarterly and yearly plans. Alt Balaji monthly subscription at the rate of INR 34 amounts to INR 100 for 3 months in the quarterly plan. The annual Alt Balaji subscription price is INR 300.
Feel the thrill, laugh out loud, enjoy the drama, learn some more science and history with these platforms and make the best use of your social distancing times.
Image Courtesy: Pinterest
Sakuntala Narasimhan reflects on staying in since March 2020; isolating and trying not to be lonely.
The last time I went out of my flat was on March 12, after which successive lockdown impositions decreed that citizens should stay indoors to prevent exposure to virus infection. Elderly persons like me — I am 80 –are supposed to be particularly vulnerable.
Age brings a host of problems, physical as well as non-quantifiable ones – memory loss, forgetfulness, short attention spans. I have poor vision in one eye after a botched cataract operation, and cannot read much; I also have partial hearing loss, due to a middle ear problem; even a hearing aid will not help, and I cannot listen to music to pass the time. If I cannot read, cannot listen to music, and am forced to stay indoors thanks to the virus pandemic, how do I divert myself? How do other elderly citizens cope?
Once upon a time, long ago, before the pandemic, a short and leisurely walk to a nearby park, clutching a stick, used to help to get through the evening hours, sitting on a bench in a small patch of greenery and just watching passersby, or nodding to other senior citizens out for their regular walk like me. Even if we did not converse much, and did not even know each other’s names, it was a companionable silence. There was ‘life’, in the presence of other human beings. Now, confined indoors, day after day, time hangs heavy through the day, with nothing to do. Spring cleaning, tidying up the rooms? The body gets tired and protests.
Watching television becomes either boring – the same news reports, repeated ad infinitum, about the latest figures for fatalities caused by the virus, or floods in Assam or Florida – or depressing, with graphic visuals of victims rendered homeless. Or the shenanigans of politicians slavering over ‘plum’ portfolios and power, trying to topple elected governments through ‘horse-trading’, ‘buying loyalty’ with hefty bribes running to crores, chartering planes to stay at five-star resorts in Jaipur or Jaisalmer—all of which only put my blood pressure up. So what do I do, how do other seniors housebound like me, get through the day? Even prisoners have activities and work routines. And someone to talk to.
Instead of humans, I have thoughts for companions. Ruminate. Relive old memories. Some painful, doubtless, but I can push them aside and focus on the pleasant ones, recall jokes and repartees, from the past, and smile over them to myself. A friend introduced me to Sudoku, and the daily puzzle in the newspaper helps pass a few moments as I fill in the numbers. A crossword, perhaps. Then back to watching TV, surfing the channels in search of diversion. Avoid the news, turn to national geographic, and watch the antics of penguins waddling their way around. I don’t even need sound. The visuals suffice. But when the cameras focus on a pride of fierce lions chasing and tearing into a hapless zebra and feasting on its flesh, it is time to switch over to look for something more pleasant.
Having a laptop helps pass the time – watching cute animals’ antics on Youtube, for harmless diversion, even if I don’t understand some of the fancier programmes that the internet makes available – but the internet does not always work, and technicians do not bother to come over to troubleshoot, citing the lockdown as an excuse. Besides, sitting with a laptop is also mostly a lonely pastime.
And so the day slips away. And tomorrow is another day.
Are you on the Internet? Do you have a Social Media account on Facebook, Instagram or Twitter? Then it’s time you watched The Social Dilemma on Netflix
If you are a Netflix subscriber, you may have come across The Social Dilemma, a documentary by Jeff Orlowski that has been much talked about recently. The biggest revelation it makes — though not exactly new if you have been following the Cambridge Analytica scandal or watched The Great Hack — is how well thought out, planned and engineered our addiction to social media is. So if you have been googling ‘best colours for living room walls’ and suddenly start seeing ads for wall paints all over your Facebook newsfeed or similar google ads on websites you visit, it isn’t a cute coincidence but a carefully crafted strategy. Essentially, all the Big Tech companies like Facebook and Google work by manipulating users, their behaviour and their minds.
If you’re not paying for the product, then you are the product
Nowhere is this statement more true than on social media. Yes signing up on FB, Instagram, Gmail, Youtube, Twitter and elsewhere is free, so you may be wondering what’s sneaky about it. The content that appears available for free is actually being paid for by the advertisers (one of the reasons why you can’t do Skip Video on YouTube instantly). They pay Big Tech companies for the attention of users which inevitably leads to us spending money and benefitting the advertisers. The documentary also tells us how algorithms are manipulating our minds.
Sounds scary? Are you ready to hit the deactivate button on Facebook?
We aren’t asking you to. For many of us, Social Media is also a space to connect, bond and work. So the solution isn’t deleting or moving out of Social Media as these platforms have a good side too. The idea is to empower yourself with information and use it in a sensible way. A few suggestions we collated from the documentary:
Question everything you read online
Just because it’s on the internet, doesn’t mean it’s true. FACT CHECK. FACT CHECK. FACT CHECK. You can find more on this here.
Use Social Media carefully
Every action of ours on Social Media is monitored and helps Big Tech algorithms stay informed about us to serve us content that is guaranteed to keep us engaged. Liking way too many political websites? Follow innumerable cooking videos? Well turns out over following is not always a good thing as it can make our Social Media timeline an echo chamber, leading to a very lopsided view of the world and feeding us the same kind of information us the same thing over and over. Solution? Don’t start hitting the like button on FB and Twitter with a vengeance. Or following everything you spot on Instagram. By doing that, you’re playing into the algorithm’s hands.
Sanitize your feed
Unfriend, unlike and unfollow
When was the last time you looked at everything you like and follow on social media? Or trimmed your friends’ list? Take a good look, declutter and sanitize your feed. Unfollow pages that you do not connect with and friends you don’t interact with. The more the clutter, the more the information. Remember that information we receive across the Internet has increased multiple times but your brain’s capacity to process that information remains the same. Give your brain some space and do some housekeeping!
Stop all social media notifications on your phone
It is not only irritating, but it is also a clever way of keeping you engaged and addicted. You don’t really need to know the moment someone presses the like button on your latest post about the Dahlias growing on your balcony, do you?
Don’t scroll away
On a similar note, stop the aimless scrolling. In recent times, with the Covid-19 pandemic, there’s a new term for it?-?doom-scrolling, which is scrolling down to see one unpleasant news after the other. We have all done this and we know how mentally exhausting it can be. It is also strangely, something that is very hard to stop!
Avoid suggestions. Find what you want to like and follow on your own
Reclaim your tech space
Don’t let algorithms decide what you need to see. The next time you watch something on YouTube and then see suggestions of videos you may like, give it a miss. Run your own search or do your own selection. The same goes for pages you like on Instagram or Facebook. Even in the teeniest bit, this gives you more control over your Social Media feed. As the documentary says, in order to gain control of the kind of content we are exposed to, we need to choose it ourselves. And that’s done by avoiding suggestions.
Avoid Social Media on your phone
If you are on multiple social media apps, at least delete some if not all, from your phone. Or if you continue keeping them, avoid checking your phone first thing in the morning or last thing at night and most importantly, stop the notifications.
The Social Dilemma is streaming on Netflix
Want to learn how to use the Internet in a safe and secure way? Join Silver Talkies Presents ‘Easy Tech Classes For Seniors.’ Details of the upcoming class here. For more info on future classes, email us on connect@silvertalkies.com
Featured image courtesy: Pixabay
Here’s how you can identify fake news on WhatsApp and prevent falling prey to it.
At the beginning of the Coronavirus pandemic in India, one of the most difficult tasks the government had on its hands apart from tackling the deadly virus was controlling the massive spread of misinformation and fake news related to it. Starting from unverified home remedies to circulating fake advisories directing common people to stay away from foods like ice cream and chicken and forwarding conspiracy theories, social media platforms like Facebook and WhatsApp were flooded with misinformation. India’s stock exchange witnessed the highest low since 2010 due to Corona scare, people started falling ill after consuming cow urine as medicine and the poultry market faced a major loss worth millions. The fake news crisis in the country became so appalling that the Prime Minister was compelled a few months back to address the nation and appeal to the citizens to not fall prey to fake news.
WhatsApp has emerged to be one of the most used platforms to spread fake news. Mostly because it is a free service and it’s easy to share things with just a click. In an attempt to help senior citizens identify fake news on WhatsApp, Shreya Bajaj from Easy Hai gave some useful tips during a tech class for seniors conducted by Silver Talkies.
A few easy steps to detect fake news on WhatsApp
Do a gut check: This is the most important and simplest thing to do. How many of us really put our heart and mind to understand if the news is logical before we forward it? Instead of blindly forwarding a chunk of information, first analyse whether the news is rational and seems right and practical. Check if the news has been published by multiple major media houses in the same format. If not, it is definitely fake.
Fact Check on Google: How about checking whether an advisory on WhatsApp is fake or real? You may get confused and a gut check may not help in such cases. The best thing to do here is to do a simple Google search. Just put on the keywords of an article on Google, type ‘fact check’ before the keywords and check if there are any articles from a valid source covered by any major media house. Google now has a dedicated team who are into fact-checking. The moment you put the word ‘fact check’ you will actually get a list of articles that will help you debunk fake news. Go for what the majority of articles have to say.
Look at the URL (website link or address) closely: It is important to check the URLs of news websites where an article gets published. Often fake news writers make fake websites with fake URLs that appear similar to the original URLs of reputed publication houses. Common people often tend to overlook the discrepancies and start believing a piece of fake news to be real. Hence, it is important to be cautious about the URLs and in case you come across any inconsistency including a mis-spelling or a spinoff of other news sites, please do a simple Google search and recheck the original URL to find out if a news link on WhatsApp is fake or real.
Be aware of certain tools that can help you identify whether a website is fake or real: You may make use of the website Whois.com to find out who the owner of a website is. This tool helps you to identify the owner of any website you pick. It will give you the ownership details of a website. Thus, you will be able to easily point out which website is fake and which is real by using this tool.
Seek the help of fact-checking websites and fact-checking numbers: You may go to fact-checking websites the purpose of which is to debunk fake news. So, you will know what fake news is like and you can point out fake news on WhatsApp easily. Also, on WhatsApp, there are fact-checking numbers. You may forward a piece of news to these numbers and they respond if the news is fake or real within 24 hours.
Here’s a list of fact-checking websites
Here are some fact-checking numbers
Alt News: 9825255790
Boom: 7700906111 / 7700906588
Digit Eye: 9632830256
Fact Crescendo – Hindi: 9049053770
Fact Crescendo- Malayalam: 9049046809
Fact Crescendo – Marathi: 9049043487
Factly: 9603132132
India Today: 7370007000
Newschecker: 9999499044
Newsmobile: 8826800707
Understand what is a frequently forwarded message on WhatsApp: WhatsApp tells you whether a message has been forwarded and frequently forwarded or not. If you check the top left corner of a message on WhatsApp, you will notice a single arrow in case a message is forwarded and a double arrow in case it is frequently forwarded. Keep an eye on such frequently forwarded messages with double arrow marks as they may be fake. WhatsApp keeps a count on the chats and it starts marking a message if it is frequently forwarded which is most likely to be false.
Match the image with the caption: That’s another hack to point out if the news is fake or real. In case the image captions or the story content does not correspond with the image, then it’s definitely fake news.
Be watchful of articles which are wishy-washy about the date, time and place: A news report always mentions the date, time and place of the incident covered, be it in the format of a video or a story. In case you do not find these, understand it is fake. Any video can be tweaked and turned into fake news. You can go to YouTube and do a keyword search. You will be able to find out if it’s an old video and why and when was it actually created.
We believe that it is an individual’s accountability to be aware of fake news and its adverse impact. These steps can help one to prevent falling for fake news and making it viral.
Intergenerational bonding could be a great way for both youngsters and older adults to learn from each other and do something creative and impactful. Find out how.
A 15-year-old Mumbai student building a platform to keep seniors socially connected.
A 17-year-old helping elders get tech-savvy, starting with his grandmom.
A 23-year-old professional bringing doorstep delivery to elders during the lockdown.
In the time of nuclear families, it’s heartening to see efforts towards building and sustaining a positive relationship between generations that helps to bridge the gap. Intergenerational bonding, in fact, comes with two-way benefits. It gives an opportunity for both youngsters and older adults to learn something new from each other and can have a lasting impact on both. It helps senior citizens engage emotionally and socially with younger people and can extensively improve the quality of their lives. Various studies have shown how intergenerational bonding can act wonders in reducing depression, monotony and loneliness among older adults.
Here are three youngsters and their heart-warming initiatives to support the elderly.
This 15-year-old virtually connects seniors to break their monotony
Anoosha Sehgal, 15, founder of Stay Connected 2020
Meet Anoosha Sehgal, 15, a student of Standard XI from Mumbai, the founder of Stay Connected 2020. What is Stay Connected 2020? It is a platform that offers free live weekly webinars on breathing exercises, immunity-enhancing nutrition, Diabetes management, skincare and more. The platform also conducts interactive entertainment sessions of Antakshari, hair and make-up tutorials. Sehgal partnered with professionals across fields to help her with these sessions to keep seniors socially connected, especially during the self-isolation phase of the pandemic-induced lockdown.
What made Sehgal start this initiative? “The idea to start this initiative came to me after I had a call with my grandparents one day. My maternal grandparents live in a small apartment in New York and the lockdown phase has become very suffocating for them. My nani told me how she was getting extremely bored and anxious sitting behind the locked doors and doing nothing and expressed her willingness to do some drawing and practice yoga. My dadi too is a wonderful singer and wanted to sing with her friends again. That’s how I thought of starting webinars to keep them engaged during the lockdown,” says Sehgal.
The best takeaway for Sehgal has been the immense encouragement that she gets from the senior citizens who participate in her webinars. Sehgal has also started a fundraiser for Project Mumbai to support their effort towards senior citizens like delivering essentials and freshly cooked meals at the doorstep and run a free helpline for their mental wellbeing.
This 17-year-old is committed to making seniors tech-savvy
Aarya Jaipuria, 17, founder of AskHelpie
Every time Aarya Jaipuria, 17, a high school student from Bangalore would visit his grandmother during summer vacations, she would seek help from him on all the nitty-gritty of her smartphone. “She would have things lined up for me as if a mechanic had come home. Helping her with her tasks, as mundane as they may seem, was one the highlights of my trip. However, she would perpetually forget what I had taught her previously. So, I decided to make small video tutorials and sent them to her so she could keep referencing them if she needed help. I then wondered if there were more people like her, who didn’t have someone like me to help them. That’s when the idea of AskHelpie was born,” says Jaipuria.
AskHelpie (askhelpie.com) is a platform that helps senior citizens and other technologically challenged people interact with technology around them. It allows seniors to find how-to videos for everyday tasks, be it sending a picture on WhatsApp or placing an order on Amazon. Seniors can also reach out to him with a specific issue that they are facing with just a click on his website and get it sorted.
For Jaipuria, the best reward happens to be the reaction on the faces of his senior students when they learn something new. “Intergenerational bonding is and always has been something very special. We as teenagers and young adults can learn a lot from seniors. It gives us a different perspective to the world, one that we don’t have. We hear stories from their lives and experiences, and can view the world in a way we would never have before. In return we can teach them things that they may not be too well versed with. Throughout my journey, I have cherished every interaction with senior citizens,” he says.
This 23-year-old jumped in to help seniors with doorstep delivery of essentials during the lockdown
Sai Keshav, 23, tied up with Silver Talkies’ Covid-19 Volunteering Initiative to help seniors during the lockdown
Who says today’s youth is too busy to stand by seniors? When the nation-wide lockdown due to Covid-19 outbreak was announced all of a sudden making it inconvenient for senior citizens to fetch groceries and medicines, Sai Keshav, 23, who works in Bangalore immediately stepped in to help. He tied up with Silver Talkies’ Covid-19 volunteering initiative, did not bother about the Covid scare and readily extended a helping hand to deliver essentials at the doorstep of senior citizens, putting his own life at risk.
“Initially, when the whole lockdown had just commenced, it became very clear that seniors were susceptible to contracting the virus and were in danger. It became the need of the hour for senior citizens to stay home, so all their essentials would have to be delivered to them, especially those living alone. I came up with the idea of doing something to help seniors get their essentials delivered at home. It was my primary and middle school class teacher, Shobha, who put me in touch with Silver Talkies to actually execute the idea. Shobha is an uber-cool person who inspires me in several ways and it is because of her that a small idea of supporting seniors during the tough times materialised,” says Keshav.
Does intergenerational bonding come easy to younger people like Keshav? “Intergenerational bonding is something that is definitely not easy, especially for those who are in their twenties and sixties. But as I got into this, I realised there are a lot of things in common even with that age gap. At the end of the day, we are all humans and we should be kind to one another. Seniors have a lot of great stories to tell and are indeed filled with wisdom, and intergenerational bonding goes a long way for the individuals involved as they reap each other’s benefits – exchange of wisdom and life lessons for creative new-age thoughts,” he says.
It is indeed heartwarming to find youngsters getting inspired by the idea of intergenerational bonding and doing kind and creative tasks to make the world a better place for elders.
Who says inter-generation bonding is difficult these days? Here’s a heart-warming story of an 85-year-old who joined hands with a teenager to contribute to The Prime Minister’s Citizen Assistance and Relief in Emergency Situations Fund (PM Cares Fund) and has been successfully able to raise Rs 1 lakh by integrating art into Mathematics.
Saroja Sundararajan, a passionate teacher from Chennai and a national award recipient in the field of education, devised 100 Mathematics worksheets with the help of Siddhant Sinha, 16, a student from Gurgaon. “I do not feel I am old enough to retire. Even though my physical ailments pull me down, I am very alert mentally and can work even 12 hours a day,” she told Silver Talkies. Excerpts from an interview.
What brought you to integrating arts into mathematics for raising Covid-19 relief funds?
When I read about CBSE’s mandate that art should be integrated with every subject in the curriculum, it really inspired me and I thought why I should not try my hand at integrating art with mathematics. I have been in many ways a pioneer in doing things in the field of education. It, therefore, came naturally to me. However, I did not want to constrain myself with the usual interpretation of art as visual art or performing art. I wanted to give it a different connotation. I thought to myself that using the skills of problem-solving in Maths is an art; exhibiting spatial skills is an art; using mental computational skills is an art; appreciating patterns in shapes and numbers is an art. So, the entire fabric of Mathematics, I felt, was woven as an art. It became easy for me to devise worksheets on the theme of Art and Mathematics. I started working on creative worksheets – 100 of them – all of which were concept based and skill-based. Hence, they were not confined to any particular Board syllabus or curriculum; nor were they text book-oriented. Anyone – even adults could enjoy them. Thus was born the idea of this project.
How did you fall in love with Mathematics?
Mathematics is in my genes. My father was a mathematics wizard. He would always teach me as a child to look at numbers differently. He would teach short cuts in computations. He would make me look for patterns in car numbers, telephone numbers and give them to me like a puzzle. He was the main person who created in me, the love for the subject.
16-year-old tech whiz Siddhant Sinha from Gurgaon who helped Sundararajan in creating the website
How did you collaborate with your teenage partner who created the website where you could upload your worksheets?
When I was discussing my project to a friend of mine, I told her that I was just doing it aimlessly not knowing what to do with the worksheets once they were ready. She suggested her friend’s name to help me build a website where I could upload my sheets. The friend, in turn, entrusted the responsibility to her son Siddant Sinha who is in Std XII now, studying in The Heritage International School, Gurgaon, and is learning the job as a hobby. Siddhant did a very sincere, good job of creating the website. The next question was, ”Now what?” My friends suggested that I price the worksheet as Rs. 10 per sheet and the whole lot would be Rs. 1000. Suddenly it dawned upon me that I should donate the money to the PM CARES FUND for COVID patients since I did not have the need for that money but my country did as it is struggling with the pandemic crisis.
How has working with someone from another generation worked out for you and do you wish people should collaborate more across ages?
I have had an excellent rapport with the younger generation. In fact, they inspire me to work and I enjoy mentoring them too. People should really collaborate with all age groups. That is the secret of remaining mentally young forever.
What kind of response did your website get?
The response to my website has been overwhelming. Since I have thousands of students across the globe, they were thrilled about the idea and about my intentions. Those who have kids of the relevant age group bought the sheets and donated liberally. Friends and ex-colleagues of mine appreciated this venture as well. Unfortunately, people have already been donating generously in many other ways for the cause. For me to expect more in terms of number was not fair. However, those who felt that children will be usefully kept occupied during the lockdown at home did buy them. My own family members and close friends have donated liberally. A few children’s parents have been giving feedback that they are enjoying it. In fact, some parents are themselves enjoying it.
How do you stay active and engaged?
For the last 3 years, I have been working closely with a corporation school in Chennai, doing Teacher training in Maths and also conducting workshops for children of the underprivileged communities. At the moment I am busy developing material to do online workshops for teachers on ZOOM. However, as I said earlier, I always like to do things differently. My focus will not be on content. It will be on certain skills that teachers should develop in pedagogy. I am very interested in cooking and trying out new healthy recipes. I am also interested in writing blogs. I love music and it keeps me sane and peaceful.
You can access the worksheets at https://www.mathfundsindia.com/
Elder Abuse has always been an unspoken but existing problem in India. With the outbreak of pandemic and the nation-wide lockdown to contain the pandemic, the situation has turned worst for some senior citizens. June 15 was World Elder Abuse Awareness Day and a recent study conducted on senior citizens during the lockdown by Agewell Foundation has some shocking facts.
Seventy-one per cent of seniors who participated in the study have reported that cases of elder abuse have increased during the lockdown period and after. The study found that 63.7 per cent elderly respondents were facing neglect in their life and 56.1 per cent were suffering from elder abuse in their families and society. 58 per cent of them blamed interpersonal relationships to be the main reason behind increasing elder abuse.
Highlights from the study
The study was conducted among 5,000 elderly respondents across the country. Here are some important highlights.
Different forms of abuse that the senior citizens face
The study has also found out the various forms in which the elderly population face abuse. These include:
• Disrespect and verbal abuse
• Silent treatment (not talking to them)
• Ignoring their daily needs
• Denying proper food
• Denying medical support
• Financial cheating
• Physical and emotional violence
• Force them to work
The guideline that seniors can follow to report elder abuse
It is important to provide older adults and those who care for them with the knowledge of what they are required to do in order to report abuse that they face. Just being aware of The Maintenance and Welfare of Parents and Senior Citizens Act, 2007 is not enough. Here are some steps that a senior citizen can follow to report abuse in any form.
Report it to the jurisdictional police station: The very first step is to make the jurisdictional police aware of the abuse. A senior facing abuse has to go to the police station and file a written complaint. Those who cannot write are required to verbally inform it to the station house officers who can pen it down for them and get their thumb impression on the piece of paper where the complaint has been written. Oral complaints are not adequate to take action as it can lead to confusion in the future.
File a First Investigation Report (FIR) in case of an admissible offence, assault or an injury: In case a senior is hurt and reports an admissible offence, an assault or an injury to the police station, the cops must register an FIR and investigate the complaint and find out whether the report is genuine and gauge its intensity.
Obtain a wound certificate from the government hospital: Once the cops find out the truth of what has happened after the investigation and the complaint appears to be genuine, the senior has to be taken to a government hospital for medical examination by the cops. Following the examination, the abused senior citizen will be provided with a wound certificate on the basis of which, the cops will file a charge-sheet against the accused. The case will thereby go on to the magistrate court or others and the legal discourse will be followed.
Seek help from the helplines: The seniors may also make use of the Elders Helpline available in their respective cities and seek help from the coordinators available there and file a petition to report an abuse. The counsellors available at the helpline first listen to the case and find out if they are genuine. Once found to be true, a written complaint is registered by the Helpline and a notice is sent to the perpetrator through the police. Following this, the Helpline tries and creates a platform of dialogue between the two parties and tries to resolve the dispute amicably. For property-related abuse, the legal experts available at the helpline advise them towards a settlement.
Here are some helpline numbers:
Silver Talkies in collaboration with Manipal Hospitals presented ‘Life After Lockdown – A Guiding Session For Seniors’ by noted geriatrician Dr Anoop Amarnath of Manipal Hospitals on how seniors can prepare for life after the Coronavirus lockdown ends.
The Coronavirus outbreak has completely changed our normal pace of life and post lockdown life will not be the same way it used to be earlier. Senior citizens have been worst affected by the lockdown and keeping that in mind, Silver Talkies in collaboration with Manipal Hospitals presented ‘Life After Lockdown – A Guiding Session For Seniors’ by noted geriatrician Dr Anoop Amarnath of Manipal Hospitals on how seniors can prepare for life after the Coronavirus lockdown ends. The May 8 webinar saw seniors attending from across the country.
Our expert: Dr Anoop Amarnath, Chairman – Geriatric Medicine and Chief of Clinical Services at Manipal Hospitals. Dr Amarnath believes that working on appropriate habits of life can enable seniors to adapt to the new normal.
Here are key guidelines from the talk:
Effective hand sanitisation
Click here to read about the government advisory issued for the protection of senior citizens above 60 years from Coronavirus.
Using the mask right
. Do not touch the front part or the back part.
. Hold it on the sides.
. Cover the three things – nose, mouth and chin.
. While removing, do not touch the back part and the front part.
. A single layer surgical mask or a cloth mask all can be effective provided one does not touch the front and the back part of it.
Basic respiratory hygiene
. Cover your mouth and face with a tissue paper when you cough and put it in the bin.
. In case you do not have anything to cover your mouth and face, cough into your elbow and make sure that both your nose and mouth are covered by your elbow.
Effective health hygiene
. Every time you go outside and come back, make sure you wash your hands and legs, leave your footwear outside and change clothes.
. Having your own set of towels, own set of soaps and plates and glass is a good habit of personal hygiene.
. It is important to look at our medical issues. At present, the entire focus is on Covid-19 and it is easy to forget other general medical conditions like hypertension, diabetes, cardiac problems that many seniors suffer from. This simple checklist will help you prevent neglecting your other medical problems and keep them in control.
List your medical conditions
List out your medications
List out your allergies
List out your lab/investigation reports
Reach out to your personal doctor
Effective nutrition
. Three things to be kept in mind are you need to have the right time to eat, the right food to eat and in the right quantity.
. It is essential to have a balanced diet with ten right amounts of proteins, carbohydrates and fats (one-third of each of them) and consume enough quantities of fresh fruits and vegetables.
Basic home exercises
Effective mental health habits
Six ways to keep your brain sound are:
. Hear good, smell good, eat good, think good, feel good and see good.
. Make it a habit to listen to music that suits you
. Smell something good, be it a perfume or incense sticks that can improve your state of mind.
. Meditate and focus on something positive and think good.
. Wear a good dress, take a proper shower and shave and feel good. Watch your favourite movies, serials, chant and feel good.
These can ensure your mental balance is maintained.
Tips on social habits
Social habits are important in terms of managing life after the lockdown is lifted.
. Have a structured time table and avoid doing daily activities haphazardly
. Maintain physical distance
. Delegate and seek support. It is important to realise that we cannot do everything all by ourselves and delegate responsibilities and seek support.
Are hospital visits safe now?
There are government guidelines in terms of the services that the hospital can provide and they cannot. Tele Consultancy and video consultancy is the best way for a check-up now. In case a physical examination is required, you can physically visit them.
Protecting yourself from asymptomatic carriers
If we follow the basic personal, hand, respiratory and health hygienes, we can protect ourselves from carriers.
Domestic help guidelines
If each and every one of us including the domestic help and others helping us out can maintain personal, hand and respiratory hygiene, we all can be on safe grounds. However, the government has put up guidelines regarding this as well.
The guidelines for domestic help vary from state to state and depend on the approval of resident welfare associations (RWAs). Click here to know the BBMP advisory for apartment and resident groups.
Ground-rule for groceries and frequently touched surfaces
Follow your hand hygiene and cough hygiene and do not touch your nose, eyes and mouth, that will go a long way in terms of safely handling groceries. Frequently touched surfaces like your glasses, mobile and desk need to be cleaned on a daily basis with the hand sanitiser. As long as these basic hygienes are maintained, you will be safe. If you are driving make sure that the car is sanitised. It is important that the seats, steering wheel, the gears, the handles of the car are sanitised on a regular basis.
Dentist visits
Dental services are shut for obvious reasons as per the government guidelines. For any kind of emergency, you will have to go to a hospital.
How long will seniors have to stay at home even after the lockdown lifts?
Once the lockdown is lifted, personal hygiene, hand hygiene and social distancing have to be maintained when one steps out. At present, it is better to seek support from the younger ones and stay at home as per the government guidelines.
Fruit safety
Peelable fruits are much safer. For fruits that are non-peelable, soak it in warm water with some salt and go for a second wash.
Is footwear a source of transmission?
It will be good to have a separate set of footwear when you go out after the lockdown is lifted and leave it outside. As far as possible, use footwear that is easily washable and can be rinsed like Crocs.
Should seniors above 65 avoid travel even after travel restrictions are lifted?
Once these travel restrictions are lifted, please travel only if it is mandatory and avoid recreational travel in the immediate future. While going out for mandatory travel, follow the hygiene measures.
The importance of sleep to stay healthy
From a medical perspective, a minimum of 8 to 9 hours of sleep is required. With age, the duration of sleep comes down. Even if you get 5 to 6 hours of sleep, it is good enough. In case you get a nap at noon, it is an icing on the cake. Ensure proper sleep hygiene is maintained. Sleep at the right time, get your bedspread changed regularly, have a dim bed lamp but avoid bright light, do not take caffeine after 4 pm and avoid screen time before a couple of hours of going to sleep.
Are newspapers safe?
If you cannot get out of the habit of reading newspapers, just do not forget to maintain your hand hygiene and do not touch your eyes, nose and mouth while reading.
Importance of Vitamin C
Yes, Vitamin C is highly recommendable. Fruits rich in Vitamin C like orange, amla, etc can enhance immunity and is therefore good to be included in the diet.
How does Covid-19 spread?
Covid-19 spread through droplets when you sneeze and cough. There are reports that say it is airborne as well.
The Spanish Flu epidemic of 1918-20 that swept through India had some similarities with the current COVID-19 pandemic. We spoke to seniors who dug into their family archives to tell us how it impacted and changed some lives forever.
Did you know that a century ago, India was in the grip of an Influenza pandemic similar to COVID-19 that claimed 50-100 million lives worldwide? Called the Bombay Fever or the Spanish Flu, about 18 million lives were lost in India due to this epidemic, with many families losing their loved ones. Interestingly, the world had just come out of a devastating war and this flu killed more people in India than the war did. The Spanish Flu started in what was then Bombay when the ports were busy with the movement of troops and goods at the fag end of World War I. The first ones to get the strains of the virus were sepoys posted at the docks after which it spread rapidly through Bombay and the rest of India between 1918 and 1920.
Some families were wiped out like that of the poet Suryakant Tripathi Nirala.
The Caravan magazine mentions that in his memoir, A Life Misspent, the poet had this to say: “The Ganga was swollen with dead bodies. At my in-laws’ house, I learned that my wife had passed away. This was the strangest time in my life.”
“My family disappeared in the blink of an eye. All our sharecroppers and labourers died, the four who worked for my cousin, as well as the two who worked for me. My cousin’s eldest son was fifteen years old, my young daughter a year old. In whichever direction I turned, I saw darkness…” Nirala wrote.
Sometimes, despite the darkness, there was hope and light. Lives were devastated and altered forever by the death of a dear one but there were new beginnings too.
Encouraged by our reader Kala Sunder, we reached out to senior citizens to find if their families had been impacted by the epidemic almost 100 years ago and found one of the most uplifting stories:
Geetha Chandrasekharan’s aunt, Subhadra Devi, 88, lost her young maternal uncle to the Spanish Flu. He left behind his child bride, a young widow of 12 called Rajammal. Despite their grief, Rajammal’s in-laws ensured that her life wasn’t spent wearing widow’s garb with a tonsured head as was the fate of many young widows in those days. Instead, they educated Rajammal, bringing her up as one of their own.
“Family stories say how my great grandmother would plait Rajammal’s hair, adorn it with flowers and then send her to school so that the young widow did not feel left out among the other girls,” Subhadra recalls.
Ramaswamy Thata; Photo courtesy: Geetha Chandrasekharan
Ramaswamy Thata, Subhadra’s grandfather and Rajammal’s father-in-law didn’t stop at just educating his own daughter-in-law. He visited every house in his neighbourhood in Chennai that had a young widow brought on by the epidemic, asking them to educate her. It led to many young widows being educated, including one who went on to become Subhadra and her sister Margatham’s headmistress in school!
As for Rajammal, she eventually went on to become a doctor and was one of the earliest batches of women to graduate from the Madras Medical College (they received an LMS- a licentiate in medicine and surgery) around 1926/27, though the date isn’t verified. Ramaswamy did not have much money to educate her but he ensured she was enrolled in a widow’s scholarship program so that her education could go on unhindered. She eventually went on to practice medicine in Gulbarga, staying in touch with the family that educated her, all her life.
Both Ramaswamy and his wife were ahead of their times in their thinking says Geetha’s mother Maragatham, 86.
“I did not know it was possible, else I would have got Rajammal married again,” Margatham recalls her grandmother saying.
The ongoing conversation around COVID 19 made Jamuna Ramakrishna, 60, recall that her father had lived through a pandemic and his family had quarantined themselves too! “My father was a kid – five or six years old – at the time of the Spanish flu. He used to talk about it sometimes. His strongest memory was that his family relocated for the duration. At the time, my grandfather was working in the Vaccine Institute in Bangalore. The institute was trying to develop a TB vaccine and was in the outskirts of the city in those days and therefore considered safe. My grandfather asked permission for the family to move into the grounds of the Institute and that was granted.”
With no medicine in sight, people were advised to isolate back then too.
The Times of India wrote: “To avoid an attack one should keep away from all places where there are overcrowding and the consequent risk of infection such as fairs, festivals, theatres, schools, public lecture halls, cinemas, entertainment parties, crowded railway carriages etc.”
“Above all,” The Times of India added, “do not worry too much about the disease,” says an article in The BBC which quotes the paper’s reportage back then.
They say the more things change, the more they remain the same.
We couldn’t find a better example than in Usha Prasad’s anecdote. Immunity boosters are much in demand during COVID-19 as a precaution. Even a century ago it wasn’t much different. Usha Prasad, a member of Nightingale’s Elders’ Enrichment Centre in Bangalore had this to say:
“My husband Prasad’s grandfather, B.V. Pundit, was the founder/proprietor of Sadvaidyasala, a known name in Ayurveda at Nanjangud and at that time the medicine, Srikara Kasturi pills was his proprietary medicine. The medicine was of immense demand during the Spanish Flu of 1918, as it helped people stay healthy.”
This has been recorded by one of BV Pandit’s grandsons, C Sitaram, a journalist. Usha says the Kasturi pills have been recommended by the Ministry of Ayush as an immunity booster during this time around as well!
Have you heard anything about the Spanish Flu of 1918 in your family lore? Was there a story of positive change or any anecdote that stood out? Write to us and let us know on connect@silvertalkies.com. We will be happy to add your story here.
While this was a dose of history, Silver Talkies is working hard to bring you updated information on the Coronavirus pandemic. To know about testing centres, support groups for seniors, lockdown essentials and precautions you must take, read our story series here: The Coronavirus Updates
Feature image courtesy: Wikimedia Commons
Living in a shared space with all family members during the lockdown? Here are some tips that can help you out to make the lockdown smooth.
So all of a sudden we have been locked in our homes along with the rest of the family for the last four weeks. For our own good, of course. Just sometimes togetherness can get overwhelming.
Some of us have three generations living at home. The seniors find that their designated time and space has been usurped by their adult kids with their gadgets and conferences calls hogging good network zones, sometimes bang in the middle of the living room. Their children (the grandkids) who initially thought it was a great idea to have Mommy and Daddy at home all the time are just beginning to understand the concept that Work from Home (WFH) means just that. They are neither physically nor emotionally available even though they inhabit the same space. At the end of the day everyone goes to bed wondering, this is us but we don’t really know how to be with each other.
Time structuring, a concept of Transactional Analysis (TA), helps us unpack this situation in insightful ways. First, a glance at our core needs, or hungers. Sensation or stimulation is a prime hunger. Think babies being soothed by rocking, you being greeted with sloppy kisses from your pet…Just to imagine what deprivation of this for a day would feel like can send shudders down your spine.
Then there is recognition hunger. When you wave to someone and they wave back, on social media. Or, they don’t wave back… havoc in your heart.
The third hunger is structure hunger. In my opinion, this is the single biggest reason why we prefer to join organizations as opposed to hanging up our own shingle.
Now let’s look at how we satisfy these hungers in our day to day living. We satisfy these hungers in six different ways: at one extreme we make the choice of withdrawing for e.g. while commuting in public transport. The other safe way to spend time could be rituals, i.e. very predictable culturally defined ways to engage in specific contexts such as church or temple visits. Or talking about the weather.
The third way we structure our time is activities, everything from knitting to coding falls in this category.
The fourth type is pastiming, which, while not being predictable is repetitive. For example, talking about acceptable subjects, in the present context it may be, ‘before the lockdown happened ….’ Pastiming can go on endlessly in a safe and predictable manner until someone chooses to make a comment that is guaranteed to rile up the other party engaging in the pastime with him/her.
While they could do this just to get over boredom, the real reason is invariably their preferred emotional payoff which, in short, could be to hurt someone or be hurt. At this point in the interaction, it is termed as a game. Games are learned behavior patterns and sometimes unhealthy route to false intimacy.
Intimacy, emotional not just physical, by its very definition, is a free and forthright way to fulfill our hungers for sensation and recognition. It is free of games and could happen through shared activities and game-free conversations.
To backtrack to the beginning to our three-generation family, what could be a healthy way for them to live in a shared space for a prolonged period of time during this Lockdown? When we draw a bar graph of our time consumption patterns we can see where we invest our time on a day-to-day basis. In a very general sense, for the elders it may in pastiming, for the adult children it may be in activities, and for the third generation, it may be a fair spread of activities and intimacy.
Whether we like it or not, shared space is fertile ground for games as also for intimacy. It’s only when each individual in the family is able to articulate his/her need and is listened to without judgment that we can begin to look at healthier ways to restructure time individually and as a family. And, ‘this is us,’ may have a happy ring to it.
Some smart ways to restructure time
Structure hunger: Hold a family meeting with the agenda to discuss individual schedules, including those of babies, home-schooling children, adults who work from home and seniors.
Stimulus hunger: Make an art project of your family schedule, and hang it where it’s easily visible to family members. That way you can keep referring to this as the day progresses.
Board games
Activity: Play a board game together, for example. Or if you are a music-loving family, impromptu jam sessions.
Pastiming: Create after-dinner conversations around your elders’ reminiscences of challenging times.
Ritual: Setting a regular time and process for house-keeping can create a ritual around this.
Limit exposure to news: Share the highlights of the day at a fixed time every day with the elders to keep them in the loop. This works at multiple levels; not only does it satisfy their stimulus and recognition hunger but it also creates a ritual. Plus, it can be hugely reassuring for seniors to know the younger members are on the ball and they can take a step back.
Contact and recognition: Those daily ‘he said…, and then she said…’ calls to their besties are important debrief sessions for our elders. Help them with headphones with a mike for privacy.
Avoid games: Lastly, speak up if something bothers you. And be prepared to listen without judgment. This will nip every potential game in the bud.
This article originally appeared on LinkedIn. Click here to read.
Find out about the organisations and volunteer groups helping the senior citizens with doorstep delivery of essentials like medicine and groceries during the time of lockdown due to the Coronavirus crisis.
As India goes into lockdown for 21 days as announced by PM Narendra Modi on March 24, a large number of senior citizens living alone may face the brunt of sourcing groceries and essentials like medicines. In a bid to help them during this time of emergency, several independent volunteers from across the country have expressed their desire to help these senior citizens with doorstep delivery of essentials.
BANGALORE
Silver Talkies
Silver Talkies, a social engagement platform for senior citizens in association with Sai Keshav, 22, a young volunteer from Bangalore and a group of his friends has taken the initiative to help seniors with a hassle-free self-quarantine period. It is predominantly covering areas in North, South and Central Bangalore.
Things volunteers can help you with
. Going to local shops and buying essential and critical items like medicines, fruits & vegetables and basic groceries (milk, bread, rice, etc)
. Make comfort/friendly calls to ensure seniors are in a healthy state of mind during this period of social distancing and self-isolation.
. Research online information and provide correct information from authentic sources (only government and ICMR based information) to seniors to prevent unnecessary panic.
. All volunteers must have their own vehicle (if they have opted to help deliver essentials), a mask and sanitizer.
For help, contact: 9591111300 or 6362890768
Apart from the Silver Talkies initiative, there are several other organisations and groups of independent volunteers across the country who have extended helping hands for socially distanced seniors living alone in various parts of the country. Here’s a list of some of them you can reach out to in times of need.
Primus Senior Living Community
In order to encourage senior citizens to stay at home and maintain social distance, Primus Senior Living Community is offering free delivery services exclusively for seniors in South Bangalore. Primus has engaged its in-house staff to become volunteers and facilitate free deliveries at the doorstep of senior citizens.
Things the volunteers can do
. Medicine pick up and drop-off
. Shopping and delivery of groceries
. Shopping and delivery of fresh fruits and vegetables
. Laundry pick-up and drop-off
. Delivery of essential packages and courier
. Shopping and delivery of pet supplies
For help, contact 9060695845
Organisation: Caremongers
Started by Mahita Nagraj, a digital marketeer from Bangalore, Caremongers is a social media-based community volunteering initiative ensuring pan-India volunteer delivery of groceries and medicines to senior citizens who are living alone. Apart from Bangalore, the volunteers have covered other cities like Chennai, Hyderabad, Delhi, Noida, Uttarakhand, Gujarat, Maharashtra, Tamil Nadu, Kerala, West Bengal and Odisha.
Things volunteers can do
. Doorstep delivery of essentials like groceries, medicines, milk, vegetables, fruits and any other urgent requirements
For help, call 9591168886
Organisation: Seniority in collaboration with DocsApp
Seniority, a health and lifestyle based retail company for senior citizens has joined hands with DocsApp, a digital healthcare platform in order to bust myths, reduce panic and educate the senior citizens on Coronavirus. This will offer exclusive medical assistance to older adults and their family members.
Services that are being provided
. A 24/7 helpline support to enable senior citizens and their families have access to skilled medical professionals during this crisis time
. Free online consultations across all departments from doctors at the convenience of their homes
. A repository of informative articles, blogs, weekly newsletters and webinars imparting accurate information and safety measures related to Coronavirus
To seek medical assistance, call 08047193443
CHENNAI
Organisation: Bhoomika Trust
Senior citizens living alone in Chennai and needing assistance for medicine and food supplies may seek help from the Bhoomika volunteers.
Things the volunteers can do
. Deliver essential items like groceries, milk, vegetables and fruits
. Deliver medicines on request at the doorstep
For help, contact 04446314726
HYDERABAD
Organisation: One Big Family
One Big Family, a delivery app for the elderly has launched the ‘Stay Safe Stay Home’ initiative in Hyderabad, offering free delivery services to senior citizens of the city via a fleet of well-trained associates/delivery executives.
Things volunteers can do
. 24/7 free doorstep delivery of essentials like medicines, groceries, vegetables, etc.
For help, call 18005725200 or download the mobile app from Play store for android version and Appstore for Apple I-Phones to order online.
BHUBANESHWAR
Organization: #CovidSupportForElders
A community of independent volunteers, it is trying to build a support system for senior citizens.
Things the volunteers can do
. Creating senior-specific awareness about social distancing and self-isolation
. Ensuring steady supply lines for essential items for seniors in two ways:
The volunteers get in touch with the senior citizens and when they specify the needs, the volunteers patch hem up with third-party vendors for doorstep delivery of the items. The group has tied up with some vendors like Bigbazaar, Milky Moo, Apollo Pharmacy, Om Pharma that are offering home deliveries of essential items like. rice, atta, milk, oil. They are also enabling gas refills. Besides, the volunteers are doing online payment of water, electricity and television bills on behalf of the seniors.
They are also developing a database on the shops that are open and functioning in Bhubaneswar and the outlets that are doing home delivery. The volunteers are also helping seniors to pursue hobbies and interests to help them overcome loneliness. Depending on the hobbies of the senior citizens, the volunteers send curated videos to them.
For help, register yourself at https://forms.gle/te3Q1VeJJ4bCo6Pt5
PUNE
Organization: Independent group of young volunteers
The senior citizens in Pune can now reach out to an independent group of volunteers to source necessities like food or over-the-counter medicines which will be delivered outside the door to prevent unnecessary contact.
What the volunteers can do?
Go to local shops and buy essential and critical items like medicines, fruits and vegetables and basic groceries.
. Deliver cooked meals at the doorstep for the seniors who cannot cook for themselves
. Extra care is taken to use gloves, masks, and sanitizers while delivering the items
For help, contact 9146025252
Organization: Action for Pune Development
Action for Pune Development, an organisation of students engaged in several developmental programmes aimed at children and youth provides support to the seniors who are 70+and living alone.
Things volunteers can do
. Doorstep delivery of essential items like basic groceries, rice, atta, oil and medicines
. Ensure volunteer availability to help seniors in case they face any emergency
For help, contact 9657610008
Organization: Ninebee Foundation
Ninebee foundation is distributing free kits containing essential grocery, milk, mask and hand sanitisers to senior citizens who are reaching out to the volunteers for help. Besides Pune, they cover Mumbai, Delhi, Hyderabad and Bangalore.
Things volunteers can do
. Facilitate the free distribution of essential supplies and groceries at the doorstep
. Deliver meals at the doorstep for those who are unable to cook on their own
For help, WhatsApp to 8007776088 or call 9212136088
Organisation: Friends@Senior Citizens
Friends@Senior Citizens, a volunteer organisation is operating in Pune and PCMC area in order to help the senior citizens overcome the crisis period of the lockdown.
Things volunteers can do
. Doorstep delivery of essential items like groceries and medicines
. Arranging for transport to hospitals for check-ups
. Providing doorstep delivery of tiffin services
For help, call 9422517939 and 9822981267
MUMBAI
Organisation: Fit Brigade
Independent volunteers from Mumbai have come together to form a community called Fit Brigade to cater to the essential needs of senior citizens who are living alone across Mumbai at this time of crisis.
Things the volunteers do
. Deliver essential items like groceries, medicines, fruits and vegetables at the doorstep of senior citizens
. Facilitate kitchen service for those who cannot cook and deliver meals at their doorstep
For help in South Mumbai, call 9821887707/ 9820391911
For help in Central Mumbai, call 9004670600/ 9833170665/9773706712
For help in Western Mumbai, call 9819236951/9821159710/9022420360
DELHI
Organisation: Vardaan Senior Citizen Centre
Vardaan Senior Citizen Centre in Malviya Nagar, an organisation committed to looking after senior citizens living alone, far away from their families has come up to provide free delivery service to senior citizens in and around Malviya Nagar, New Delhi.
Things the volunteers do
. Provide free delivery of essential items like groceries, medicines, fruits and vegetables
. Taking complete charge of ailing seniors who are living alone and providing comprehensive care
CHANDIGARH, MOHALI and PANCHKULA
Organisation: Grey Shades
Grey Shades, a young organisation that offers a six-month-long fellowship program for senior citizens to keep them engaged and active, is helping them in Chandigarh, Mohali and Panchkula during the quarantine phase.
Things the volunteers do
. Provide a steady supply of groceries, medicines and other essential needs to seniors.
. Pick up the items based on the queries and deliver it to the senior citizens at the doorstep.
. A volunteer counsellor comfort calls to senior citizens who are undergoing anxiety and panic attacks.
For help in Mohali, contact 7303441719
For help in Panchkula, contact 9876781057
For help in Chandigarh, contact 8968821155
AHMEDABAD
Organisation: Swara Smile Foundation
The volunteers from Swara Smile Foundation, an NGO are helping senior citizens in Ahmedabad with doorstep delivery.
Things volunteers can do
. Doorstep delivery of food for senior citizens during the lockdown period
For help, call 9265255908 or 8306596333
KOLKATA
Organisation: Kolkata Police
Kolkata Police have started a senior citizen helpline to help senior citizens who are living alone in Kolkata with their children settled abroad. Kolkata Police have urged the children and relatives from abroad to get in touch with them in case of any emergency help and requirements for senior citizens.
For help, call 9830088884
GOA
Government Helpline
The senior citizens in Goa can reach out to a government helpline, functional between 9 AM to 6 PM providing free home delivery of groceries.
To avail the facility, call on 08047191000
Goa Help Map
A help map has been formed where an individual can post anonymously for help by creating an account and the volunteers nearby can reach for help.
In order to post for help, click here: https://goahelp.ushahidi.io/views/map
In case you want to volunteer for help, contact: helpmapgoa@gmail.com
Do you know of any other initiatives? Write to us on connect@silvertalkies.com
How to stay safe from a personal, legal and financial point in your silver years? Our experts have some super tips!
As we grow older and start living alone, safety in several areas becomes a crucial part of every senior citizen’s life. Here are tips from a senior advocate and top cop on how to be vigilant about your personal safety, legal and financial issues as you age. These tips were part of an interactive talk that highlighted safety for senior citizens and available options. The talk was held on March 5 at Bangalore International Centre, Stage 2, Domlur, Bangalore. The two-hour-long session was conducted by Isha Pant, Superintendent of Police, CID, Bangalore and Shiv Kumar, senior advocate with 49 years of experience at the Karnataka High Court. They highlighted the safety measures for senior citizens and the legal and financial issues that seniors should be vigilant about.
Do not part with your immovable properties during your lifetime.
There have been several instances where a senior citizen has given their sole property to loved ones out of affection and care and then faced trouble and neglect from the same loved ones. As long as they own a property they are respected and treated well. However, the moment they part with it they become dispensable. The seniors may have transferred the property in good faith. However, the good faith ceases when the children’s interest takes precedence over the senior citizens. It is advised to all senior citizens to keep their property as that is their only asset. In times of need, they can dispose of their property and do not have to depend on anybody for livelihood. Also, do not commit the mistake of giving out your property as security (mortgage) to any financial institutions.
Do not sign any contractual documents without reading them thoroughly.
The commercial world has become so complicated that no contract document is understandable to the common man, especially the documents related to the technology sector. There is a higher risk of getting trapped into a lot of legal and other issues if the points discussed in the contractual document are not read and comprehended to know the legal implications from prior. Hence, it is always essential to read the document before putting one’s signature on it. If one does not read, one does not know what they are getting into.
Do not have blind faith in someone.
It is important to not trust anyone blindly. There is no harm in asking for a receipt after one gets servicing of some gadgets done. It is essential to realise the difference between being cautious and trusting someone and having blind faith in someone.
Accept your physical or mental health and provide power of attorney to someone to make a decision on your behalf.
In case you are unwell and not in a position to make your own decision related to property and finance, please accept your state and authorise someone to make a decision on your behalf through the power of attorney. In case one is unable to write or read, there is no harm in authorising someone to take the required decisions on one’s behalf.
Inform the police if you live alone: Seniors living alone and worried about their safety can inform the police and arrange for beat police to patrol their lane.
Download Suraksha App: Seniors or their loved ones can download the SURAKSHA APP (IOS link here: https://apps.apple.com/in/app/suraksha-bengaluru-city-police/id1213387661) that turns one’s smartphone into a discreet personal safety device. The app has a red button which when pressed sends alert to the police control room and urges dispatch of the nearest police patrol vehicle to the distress alert. The app was launched keeping in mind the safety of senior citizens and women.
Inform about abuse: An FIR can be lodged in the nearest police station to inform about any domestic violence against senior citizens.
Be discreet: While travelling it is essential to be discreet and not announce on social media.
Dial 100: If faced with road rage, 100 can be dialled to seek help instead of directly confronting the rule-breakers.
Beware of ATM skimmer: Senior citizens are often duped by ATM skimmers, a card reader that can be disguised to look like part of an ATM. The skimmer attachment collects card numbers and PIN codes that are often replicated to counterfeit cards. Seniors are often unaware of such skimmers and may end up becoming victims of fraud which is why they must be vigilant about it.
Know your neighbours: For senior citizens, it is particularly important that they know their neighbours and are well connected with them in order to bring down crimes in the city and see increasing citizens participation to prevent it. Also, for senior citizens living alone, knowing their next-door neighbours become crucial to deal with any kind of emergencies. Hence, seniors must actively take part in the Hello Neighbourhood Scheme by Bangalore Police.
Silver Talkies in association with Unhotel had organised for a senior-friendly getaway to Banaras with nine silver trippers from Bangalore that helped them explore the city like a local. Be it Banarasi sarees or an insight into the history of the ghats or a visit to the weavers’ families and a thousand temples, this trip was sprinkled with local Banarasi flavour.
Silver Talkies Social member, (Click here to know how to become a social member) Uma Kasturi, 72, was part of this specially curated silver holiday and shares her enthralling experience in the city of ghats with us.
From the first group selfie at the departure lounge at Karnataka International Airport (KIA) to the last ‘bye-byes’ and ‘we should do it again’, the Banaras trip organised by Silver Talkies in association with Unhotel was a blast. On reaching the heritage city of Banaras, we got a lovely welcome at Granny’s Inn with friendly warmth, steaming cups of fragrant tea and jasmine garlands. Right from the beginning, we felt at home and this augured well for the rest of our stay.
By then the group of like-minded young-at-heart seniors had got along well and we were on a roll. The rooms were comfortable and the home-cooked food, the chaats and the sweets were delectable. The taste of Makkhan Malais still lingers.
All about finding wonders in the narrow alleys
We felt absolutely safe wherever we went, thanks to our escorts, Nidhi, Shilpi, Mayur and Rohit. The temple trips and aartis were a great spiritual experience, especially the morning aarti. The music performance after the aarti was a bonus for all of us.
The trip to the weaver’s colony raised a lot of questions in my mind. Their living and working conditions are really bad, totally in contrast to the beautiful creations that they produce. The shopping was great, from the laid-back saree shopping to hopping from shop to shop for bangles, bags and curios in the maze of narrow, old lanes.
The choice of lassis at the Blue Lassi was wide. However, the ambience was a little uncomfortable. Though we were warned about it from before, the continuous passage of funeral processions past the doorstep of the lassi maker was a little off-putting. It could have been nicer if we all could have gone for a city tour for a couple of hours to be able to see more of Banaras apart from the older parts of the city and the ghats.
The trip made for an amazing bonding time among the seniors
The sessions we had during the early morning tea and after dinner were fun. The girls literally let their hair down. There were lots of gup-shup and banter. The granny, Asha, at the Granny’s Inn was a really warm and friendly person and she made us feel very welcome and at home – mi casa su casa. We look forward to more such senior-friendly trips with Silver Talkies. The Banaras trip got of us a lot of colours, smiles, music and fun amid the humdrum affairs of life.
Living with another generation under the same roof can have many advantages but isn’t always easy either. Empathy, understanding and patience can go a long way in creating great bonds.
At 70, Reita Narang of Pune says she is doing more than she ever has in her life. When I visit her home, she has just come back from a chair yoga session and says she has exactly 40 minutes to chat before she heads off for a movie with her ‘girlfriend gang.’
The movie is followed by either lunch, chaat or coffee at the food court of a local shopping mall. “I’m back home by 4 pm, just in time to ensure my grandchildren have someone from the family at home when they get back from school.”
Narang lives with her son and daughter in law, both busy professionals. While they are lucky to have good help to take care of the children and housekeeping, Narang chips in to ease things for her daughter-in-law, Seema Sharma, 40, who is thankful for the help. “I have ensured ma doesn’t have to do any hard, physical work or cut down on her social life by having enough help at home. But it’s a huge relief to know that there is an elder at home supervising the kids’ food, activities, screen time, etc when I’m at work or travelling for it.”
Both women feel it’s important to set boundaries so that the younger generation doesn’t feel the older generation is overstepping and the older generation do not feel restricted in their activities by the overconcerned younger lot.
Sharing a living space with another generation comes with its advantages. Indian culture celebrates the values, connection and bonds that children can grow up with when they share space with elderly loved ones. Many of us have fond memories of growing up with grandparents telling us stories or singing us to sleep. The elderly too have the support and help available readily when they live with family instead of staying alone. But the fact remains that the generation gap is a reality and it isn’t always easy for different generations to share the same space. Stories of intergenerational discord are common.
We spoke to elders and younger people to find out what makes for great intergenerational bonding and co-living. Here is some advice we gathered.
Shun Judgement & Stay Supportive
Growing up with grandparents is a special gift. Image courtesy: Ramesh Sood
Ramesh Sood, 59, lives with his wife, son, daughter-in-law and a grandson he and his wife dote on in Pune. The popular coach and mentor thinks it’s a give and take. “Gap between older and younger generation at home can be overcome by realizing just this one thing — If earlier a generation gap meant 1x then due to the speed of change and emergence of a world of accelerated digital flows, this gap has increased to 4x or more in present times. Therefore, the older generation needs to shun judgment and be quietly present if the young ones ever need the support of experience. Oh yes, it would need a tremendously conscious effort that’s difficult but not impossible. The external environment is completely different today than it was 20 years ago and our young ones are required to sustain themselves in that environment. Let us accept this one fact,” says Mr Sood.
Have Your Own Life
Narang believes it’s important for elders to have their own life, especially when living with the younger generation in the same home. “Otherwise you will be lonely as they are busy with their own lives and feel bad about it.”
Narang says elders often impose their ideas and way of doing things when they move in to live with their children. She believes you need to put boundaries in your thinking and judgement whether living with a daughter or daughter-in-law.
“When it comes to home management and children, be clear who has the prime responsibility, if it’s your daughter-in-law and son, try to understand why they are doing things in a certain way, instead of interfering.”
Talk It Out
What helped Narang in understanding these things were frank conversations with her daughter-in-law. “Instead of judging her or commenting on things I found hard to understand, I asked her the reason behind it and she explained,” Narang says. Sharma on her part expresses gratitude. “I know that many wouldn’t have taken the trouble to ask like ma did and may have formed their judgement. I appreciated that she asked and it has helped our bond!”
Sharma suggests intergenerational families that live together should talk things out with each other if they find something amiss instead of forming judgements in their minds that may lead to a future clash. “It applies to everyone, old and young.”
The Young Need To Respect Experience
While the world has rapidly changed, experience has a lot of value and younger people need to understand that. “I expect them to know that ‘Experience’ is a truth that can’t be denied. And therefore needs to be respected. The gap can be reduced by creating opportunities for happy meaningful conversations between generations,” Mr Sood advises.
“It’s important to teach that to the younger people at home, especially children and teenagers,” says Arushi Khandekar from Mumbai. “Today’s children dismiss the elderly often as they are not tech-savvy or as up to date with the latest things as they are. It’s our job as parents to point out how much the elders’ experience counts.” Khandekar lives with her husband, teenage son and father in law. “My FIL is a math whiz who can still do complex sums in his head. Now that my son has realised that he has a newfound respect for dada and the realisation that there is merit in hard work and regular practice!”
Understand Needs From Their Point of View, Not Yours
Shashank Agarwal, 71, from Navi Mumbai, also thinks it’s easier for diverse generations to live together if they respect and trust each others’ abilities. “I drive everywhere and though my son expresses concern, he trusts my judgement on this and doesn’t interfere. I, on the other hand, don’t drive at night as I know it worries them. I’d request children living with elderly to not limit their activities because they are worried. We appreciate the concern but wouldn’t like to be limited until the time our limbs allow us.”
Patience & Empathy
Sasmita Das* lives with her in-laws, husband and children. Das thinks looking at intergenerational relationships with patience and empathy can go a long way towards improving things. “Don’t jump to conclusions if something is said. Instead, put yourself in the person’s shoes and try to understand the context. Age can be unkind sometimes, limiting mobility, life-choices, etc. A bit of understanding from the young in the family towards that would go a long way in creating a healthy atmosphere at home.”
* Some names have been changed on request
Cover image used for representation purposes only. Courtesy: Pranav Kumar Jain/ https://unsplash.com/
Want to dig deep and know more about Bangalore’s iconic Shri Sagar Central Tiffin Room (CTR) in Malleswaram that has been famous for its delicious Benne Dosas? Silver Talkies’ new series, Silver Talkies Culture Trail has lots in store for you.
What could drive two non-foodie young chaps into a family restaurant business that was never their passion? For Sandesh and Ganesh Poojari, it was their dad, Sanjeeva Poojari’s wish that made them drop everything and carry the legacy of an iconic restaurant after his untimely demise just two years ago. As we launch our new series – Silver Talkies Culture Trail, we bring you the story of Shri Sagar Central Tiffin Room (CTR) in Malleswaram, Bengaluru’s must-go destination if one wants to enjoy the perfect crackle of yummy Benne Dosas and the delicious bite of Mangaluru Bhajjis.
Sandesh and Ganesh Poojari who have been fulfilling their father’s dream after his untimely demise
Ramakrishna Holla established CTR in 1952 and handed it over to Sanjeeva Poojari about 40 years back. “During the 70s when my dad took over, we started selling Dosas at just one rupee fifty paise, and a cup of coffee would cost around 50 paise. Over the next few decades, CTR stood the test of time, has evolved to be one of the best brands for Benne Dosas, has made some amazing friendships, both with the staff and the customers and is continuing to win hearts of many,” says Sandesh Poojari who had been visiting the restaurant with his father since he was in Grade VII.
What began as a tiny one-storied eating space has now expanded into two spacious floors with the majority of staff working there for more than 45 years. The magic butter that makes the Dosa crackle from outside and melts inside your mouth comes from a secret village in Karnataka which has been supplying butter for CTR since its inception. The Poojari brothers have maintained the old tradition of no holidays and serving their customers on all days. It is open 365 days, right from 7 AM till 12:30 PM at the noon and from 4 PM till 9:15 PM in the evening with a few hours’ breaks in between.
The mouth-watering Benne Dosas from CTR
“My dad spent around two and a half years to master the art of making the perfect Dosas that you see today. It was my dad’s own recipe that has given Benne Dosa the perfect size, the right amount of butter, the perfect thickness and the perfect crackle that melts in one’s mouth. My dad used to travel every day to this secret village which shall remain a secret obviously to get the butter for the Dosas till he was alive. The chef who had assisted dad during the initial years is now the chief chef. He is 55-years-old and has been with us for more than four decades now,” says Poojari whose day begins with visiting the shop to make sure the quality of the food, hygiene, cleanliness is all maintained well.
The best lesson the Poojari brothers got from their late father? it was the art of making the staff and the customers their own family. Going down memory lane, Sandesh Poojari says: “My dad would never consider the staff as his employees. He would always behave with them like his own brother. We have learnt how to make the staff feel like our family members and that’s how we continue to present the tasty Dosas together. For dad, his customers were above everything. This is how our loyal customers have become our family friends.”
This is how the CTR looked 14 years back
CTR boasts of septuagenarian and octogenarian customers who travel to Bangalore from the USA and come straight to the restaurant from the airport to dig into the dreamy Dosas. There are others who make sure to pack these Dosas for their wives and family members and fly with them overseas. “While we have received offers to open our outlets in London, Germany, Auckland and more, we have never shown much interest. We believe that CTR is Bangalore’s wonder and one has to fly down to the garden city to taste our Dosas,” says Sandesh Poojari who is firm about maintaining the golden legacy of Bengaluru’s favourite CTR.
Dr Naganath Narasimhan Prem, Chief Consultant Geriatric Medicine/Elderly Care Specialist, Department of Geriatric Medicine, Jaslok Hospital, Mumbai has highlighted here the importance of learning among older adults and how it can be a key to active ageing.
Albert Einstein has rightly said “Once you stop learning, you start dying. As we observe the International Day of Education on January 24 every year, we must realise that age is never a limitation when trying to learn a new skill. Dr Naganath Narasimhan Prem, Chief Consultant Geriatric Medicine/Elderly Care Specialist, Department of Geriatric Medicine, Jaslok Hospital, Mumbai believes that learning is continuous and we do it at various stages in life. The way we learn might be different but learning is an essential part of life and should be continued even in the later stages of life. Dr Narasimhan has highlighted the importance of learning among older adults and how it can be a key to active ageing.
Education in later life can be defined as acquiring knowledge and new skills in a conscious and targeted manner. Life-long learning in old age can be defined as a personally and socially motivated experience-based learning. It includes every targeted learning activity that serves to continuously improve skills, abilities and competencies.
Education and learning are assumed to be important factors in facilitating participation in society, allowing adults to enjoy a positive quality of life and adapt to changes within the environment in areas such as technology, lifestyle, finances, and health which are strong predictors of longevity and active ageing.
Benefits of Learning at an older age
It keeps one healthier and active: As we get older we must keep our brain active. Learning new skills or new subjects helps in keeping the mind sharp. Continued learning helps in improving memory by maintaining the brain.
It gives an emotional boost: Learning new things boosts self-esteem. On learning a new skill, one feels stronger and more confident. New skills, when acquired, give a sense of independence which ensures being healthy and happy. Learning provides older adults with the skills and confidence they need to participate effectively in decision-making processes, increasing their self-efficacy. This form of self-esteem leads to improved performance in solving not only cognitive problems but daily life challenges. Learning a new language, developing an understanding of different religions, and mastering new technologies provide examples of challenging problems that are useful in enhancing the belief in one’s ability to handle new tasks—the “Can-do Factor”.
It enables meeting new people: When one attends a class or lecture among multiple participants one gets an opportunity to meet people with similar interests. It paves the way to have great acquaintances.
It positively impacts mental health: It helps in having a sense of identity, ability to cope and a feeling of purpose in life. It also gives a greater level of wellbeing, especially in older adults, an increase in life satisfaction and positive changes in mental wellbeing.
It enhances cognitive health: Learning has a positive and lasting impact on cognition. Everyday activities can to an extent help in stimulating the brain. But active learning is a complex process and can be considered an ideal mean of cognitive stimulation. It need not always be some courses, but it can simply be learning something new and stimulating, such as gardening or being involved in a group discussion on a current topic. Learning something completely new, unfamiliar and mentally challenging provides more stimulation mentally and socially. Hence it is better for cognitive health.
Learning a new skill, and then mindfully applying what you learn will improve cognitive functions but can also provide years of future enjoyment.
Consider taking classes in:
Photography
Flower arranging
Drawing
Scrapbooking
Cooking classes – maybe something specific like cooking for someone with diabetes, or low-cholesterol cooking
Learning how to use a smartphone, and using social media such as Facebook or Instagram
U3A – University of Third Age
U3A, L’Universite du Troisieme Age or University of the Third Age, was founded in
Toulouse, France in 1972 where universities began to provide educational opportunities for older adults. The experiment met with almost immediate success and soon spread to other European countries. Every member of the educational group was encouraged to contribute voluntarily to the running of their U3A organization in some way. Now it has spread to various countries and has different models of functioning.
The motto among older adults should be ‘What classes are coming up?’ instead of ‘ My life is over’. As the baby boomer generation ages, they will continue to actively seek out creative and innovative lifelong learning opportunities to integrate with their life. This is an interesting way to encourage older adults of our society to maximize the many benefits of lifelong learning.
Why should one learn
To give back
To teach, use new skills
To constantly learn never stop
To keep the mind active, use the brain, stay mentally stimulated
To obtain goals
Understanding of the meaning of life
Understanding self better
To focus on positives and not negatives
Extend thinking and learning capacity
Actively participating in life, giving it a new meaning
To develop new friendships
What should one learn
About other cultures
New talents
New skills, vocation(counselling, gardening, etc)
Craft, painting, drawing
Driving a car
Learning languages
Technology usage
Spiritual aspects of life
Hobbies
Current affairs
New subjects
Music
Family History
How should one learn
Travel
New activities
Reading
New experiences
New challenges
Cultural activities
Seeking opportunities
Moving out of Comfort zone
Mentoring
Where should one learn
New places
At work
From others young and old
Support groups
Groups for art, dance, language, drama
At home
Formal courses
Volunteer organizations
E-Learning online
Learning is very important at any age and among older adults, it helps in improving physical and mental health.
Lifelong learning is the secret to happiness in older age, benefiting both the body and mind. Meet the seniors for whom learning has never stopped. Click here to read about the seniors for whom learning never stopped.
Thinking of living alone? Hear out from some of the seniors how they manage to live alone and the major challenges they face.
Seeking a self-dependent life has become common among the urban seniors in India with quite a lot of them living alone, all on their own during their silver years. Data from the latest census shows that a whopping 15 million senior citizens across the world live alone and India is no different from the rest of the world. While rural India has not yet seen a large number of seniors living alone with the joint family system still prevailing, due to nuclear families and work spread across cities, many urban seniors are on their own over the last few years.
Living alone for a senior citizen comes with its pros and cons. For most senior citizens living alone, safety and security, social engagement, managing daily needs and tackling an emergency happen to be the key concerns. Hear out from some of them how they manage to live alone and the major challenges they face.
Staying occupied is the trick
Narmatha Murty, 66, has been living alone for the past 13 years since she lost her spouse. While it had been initially difficult for her to cope, support from her sisters and courage made her completely self-dependent. She may have taken five long years to accept the reality and move on, but trying out ways to make herself busy and occupied gave her a meaningful second inning of life.
“I took up interior designing as a passion and started doing it for my close friends. Also, I kept attending life insurance and travel insurance courses though I have not done a single insurance till now. It was just for the sake of gaining more knowledge and keeping myself busy. Now I take care of everything all by myself,” says Murty.
In order to ensure she is not alone in the case of any kind of emergency, she has rented out some parts of her residential building and has three tenants. Also, she is part of Silver Talkies, an engagement community for seniors in Bangalore that keeps her active and going. She had recently been to Benaras with a group of like-minded seniors organised by Silver Talkies in collaboration with Unhotel, a tourism company that curates senior-friendly travels.
Safety is one’s own responsibility
For Sandhya Kunjur, 63, a bold and self-dependent woman throughout her life, living alone has been smooth. She has lived through a broken relationship, ruled her advertising career, established her own craft business, succeeded in her marketing career and has fulfilled her dreams of developing a non-profit organisation to help girl children and women single-handedly. And while doing all these she had moved to her own place during her 30s. With her relatives living close by, Kunjur does not have to worry when she faces a health emergency now. However, she is very particular about her own safety and has taken some wise steps towards it.
“I have put CCTV camera outside my main door, and check it before opening the door. I have put a list of names of doctors, immediate neighbours and family in my priority list on my phone and on my soft board at home. If I am travelling I let them know I am off and inform them when I am back. After 7.30 pm, I avoid opening the front door if I am not expecting anyone. I have asked my building security to come along with my visitor if he looks unknown,” she says.
According to her, a helpline for senior citizens, trained full-time maids, priority ambulances for senior citizens and wheelchair facilities in the buildings where they live are some of the infrastructural and civic helps that can make the life of a senior citizen living alone smooth and hassle-free. “I am young and happy with my independence. But once I grow a little older, I may look at a senior citizen home,” she says.
Being able to man the home makes it smooth
For Shiv Kumar, 71, a senior advocate, the art of living alone well has been equivalent to be able to manage all household chores alone. A widower for the last 15 years, Kumar has still not been able to cope with the emotional vacuum but has become a master of managing his home.
“The fact of not having another human face in the living space has been extremely daunting. The coping began with learning to fend for oneself in terms of running the household—maid, cook, groceries, vegetables, etc. Buying of vegetables and groceries became an outdoor activity that transformed a chore into an enjoyable experience. As I started learning to use the washing machine, the pressure cooker and managing the kitchen, I began treating them as an enjoyable experience. I think coping was possible because of accepting the situation and not mixing the emotional loss with practical day to day needs of living,” says Kumar who recently shifted to an apartment from an independent home. Now infrastructure requirements like security, plumbers, electricians, etc, are no more his concern and are taken care of.
Long walks, visiting friends and relatives, listening to music and reading became other coping mechanisms for him. “In spite of being laughed at and being made fun of I made physical visits to the Bank instead of using net banking which became another activity,” says Kumar who is currently running a full services law firm.
Every person has their own coping mechanism and ways to deal with living on their own. We hope the advice above from these three active, young at heart seniors will give you not just ideas but also inspiration if you are contemplating living alone.
These super inspiring seniors are tying the knot after 50 and proving age is just a number.
67-year-old Kochaniyan Menon and 66-year-old Lakshmi Ammal found love at an old age home in Kerala and recently tied the knot, becoming the first couple of the state getting married in a state-run old age home. The state government not only welcomed the senior couple’s decision but also hosted a grand wedding for them. Menon and Ammal are not alone in proving that age has got nothing to do with falling in love and starting a new journey. Just a few months before Menon and Ammal got married, a Bengaluru-based senior couple, S Seshadri, 64, a retired marketing manager in a leading public sector undertaking and Suma, 54, a retired accounts manager in a government-based corporate, got married and showed that age is no bar when it comes to loving someone and dreaming a life together.
The couple honeymooning in Andaman and Nicobar Islands
It all started after Seshadri lost his wife in 2018 and his son and daughter-in-law, now settled in Canada, did not want their dad to lead his silver years all alone. His Hyderabad-based daughter also welcomed the idea and his children’s encouragement made him open an account on an online matrimonial platform.
“Suma too was listed there but she was not active. In fact, she had deleted her account long back but luckily it still remained and by fluke, I got a chance to get in touch with her and what began between us was friendship and a journey to understand each other. We used to talk to each other over the phone and had met thrice. Her daughter accompanied us during our third meet and we had a great dinner together,” says Seshadri.
Seshadri and Suma with their children
Suma, who lost her husband 5 years back was initially a little hesitant to take their friendship to the next level. “I was shy at first but with my daughter’s support, I finally decided to get married. During silver years everyone needs a partner and a friend to be with to keep loneliness at bay and to stand by each other during any kind of emergency. Our children are all settled in their own lives and we too are happily enjoying our post-retirement days together. It feels wonderful to have a bigger family now. While earlier I had only one daughter, right now I am a proud mother of two daughters and a loving son,” says Suma.
This inspiring couple went to Andaman and Nicobar Islands on their honeymoon and had a lovely trip in October 2019. And guess what, they tied the knot only two weeks after Suma’s daughter got married to the love of her life.
Adda celebrated their wedding with grandeur
Seshadri is a member of Adda, one of Silver Talkies’ social engagement clubs in association with Rotary Cantonment and the wedding was celebrated with all grandeur at Adda. All like-minded and young-at-heart friends came together to gift a bouquet of flowers to the newlyweds and cut a special cake wishing them a blissful life.
Isn’t it awesome to see children realizing the need for companionship for their parents and encouraging them to start afresh during their silver years? It indeed is and may we have more such inspiring seniors embracing aging the coolest way. Love has no age and these super silvers have proven that.
Cooking can sometimes become a chore in the older years and meal delivery services for seniors can be of great help. We found some to get an idea of what’s on offer.
The one abiding image many of us have of our grandmothers is her standing in the kitchen, laboriously grinding spices, tempering dal or hand-rolling a sweet to be dropped into the simmering sugar syrup. In fact, the older generation in India, especially women, have been associated with cooking – their hand-me-down recipes treasured by the generations after. But times have changed. Families usually stayed together earlier and the food was cooked for everyone. Today, many older couples live on their own or even alone. More than cooking the food, it is the preparation part of it – buying, assembling, chopping, cleaning – that can sometimes be tiring feel like a chore. Many elders simply cannot drum up the enthusiasm to cook for one. And while there are several food delivery apps, many avoid that as the food isn’t home-cooked and tends to be heavy on oil and spice, not always suitable to the digestion system.
One solution is meal delivery services for seniors from home chefs. It promises a wholesome meal that is healthy and sometimes even customised for the needs of senior citizens.
We spoke to some to figure out what’s on offer:
Food for Thought, Bangalore: Anshu Jhunjhunwala is a home chef who had been catering for parties when she realised that there was a void in food delivery services when it came to senior citizens. “Many of them don’t want to cook or cannot any more due to health reasons.” Keeping that in mind, Jhunjhunwala started a tiffin service only for people over 60. She delivers all over Bangalore through a third-party delivery service. Food for Thought offers both lunch and dinner and also breakfast on special request. Meals are customised for people with dietary restrictions. Everything else is cooked keeping in mind a common rule of low oil, no sugar, lots of greens, among other healthy ingredients, says Jhunjhunwala, who has studied Nutrition.
Food For Thought offers both vegetarian and non-vegetarian options in North and South Indian meals for older adults, who can call up the service and place their order. A monthly subscription costs Rs 142, a weekly one Rs 150 and a one-time meal (ordered the evening before) Rs 200.
Jhunjhunwala sends food in foil containers, as her idea is to remove the hassle of seniors having to take out utensils and doing the dishes. The service is big on personalisation, both in terms of reaching out and the food they serve. “In fact, some of them aren’t comfortable with ordering online. So, they place the order over phone and payments are collected from them in cash,” she says. Most of her senior clients have reached out to Jhunjhunwala on their own. In some cases, it is the children, especially daughters, who contact Jhunjhunwala. Started in January 2019, Food for Thought caters to many seniors in the 70-75 age group and Jhunjhunwala doesn’t mind special requests. “Someone recently asked for Kheer Puri and we were happy to oblige,” she says.
Find them here: Food For Thought
Phone: 9886011847
Meal Tango, Pune: Meal Tango in Pune delivers food from home chefs by matching them to the customer’s location. Though not exclusively for seniors, a large number of their customers fall in the 46 to 60 and 60+ category. Dhirendra Thakur, Manager, marketing and operations, Meal Tango, says the service was launched in 2013 and focuses on giving a platform to home chefs, many of them women. A large number of our customers are retired defence personnel.
“The food is freshly prepared, less oily and delivered to a customer within 5 km so always fresh,” says Thakur, adding that it is one of the reasons seniors order from them. “If the customer is a senior citizen with special dietary needs, the home chef can customize the food according to specifications.” Thakur thinks it’s a safer bet to order home-cooked food as the oil hasn’t been reused, the food is prepared fresh and not in bulk unlike in some restaurants, making it a healthy option for senior citizens.
Find them here:Meal Tango
Oota Box, Bangalore: Jowar pyaz ki roti, green peas khichdi, lettuce and cauliflower soup, moong sprouts and spring onion tikki, herb capsicum parantha – these are some of the yummies on offer for senior citizens from Oota Box. A home-cooked food delivery service, Oota Box has 3000 chefs registered across Bangalore and gets the food delivered to customers across ages by connecting them to a home chef near their location. “A year ago, we also started meals for senior citizens and diabetics,” says Srinath Balakumar, co-founder Oota Box. Since the food is home-cooked, it can be customised to specifications, especially ailment-related. They serve both vegetarian and non-vegetarian food and have home chefs who run pure vegetarian kitchens for those particular about it. “Many children reach out to us for catering to senior citizens,” says Balakumar who has about 75 subscriptions currently from seniors for both daily meals and once-off orders. The request is for the food to be less oily and spicy and the rice cooked well among other things. Senior citizens often order breakfast from the service, which costs around Rs 80. Lunch costs Rs 110. “Younger people are not fussed about health but older people are and therefore these services are getting well accepted,” Balakumar notes.
Find them here: Oota Box
Poshak Aahar, Hyderabad: A meal delivery service for seniors especially launched to provide them with healthy food, Poshak Aahar delivers with 15 to 18 km of Srinagar Colony, Hyderabad, where they are located. Currently, they are providing meals to 80 seniors. You can opt for 2 meals a day or 3 meals a day, which includes breakfast, lunch and dinner. They specialise in vegetarian healthy food that can be customised to the client’s dietary and health requirements. Most of the food is millet based. For people who do not wish to have millet, they substitute brown rice. You need to take a monthly subscription of their services. The three meals a day plan costs Rs 7,500 a month.
Find them here: Poshak Aahar
How Do Meal Delivery Services For Seniors Benefit Them?
Jamshed and Khurshid Khoree from Cunningham Road, Bangalore are Jhunjhunweala’s clients. Mr Khoree thinks that packing up his kitchen except to make tea and cook breakfast has worked out economically viable for them to an extent.
“A service like this ensures we get good, wholesome food, with less spice,” says Mr Khoree, who has a heart ailment. “A service like this also means lesser chores for us like buying vegetables, spices, market visits, among other things. Also, as senior citizens, we have a small appetite and the food delivered is just the right quantity, so there is less wastage.”
Pune’s Saritha and Pawan Sahni often use home chef delivery services like Meal Tango. “I’m 73 and don’t have the energy to cook that often. We haven’t been very satisfied with a cook either. We use these as and when we feel like a slightly elaborate meal. On other days we order from a lady in our apartment complex, who caters healthy, home-cooked meals,” says Mrs Sahni.
Mrs Sahni says she has “trimmed down her kitchen” a lot and it has saved her from the hassle of extra chores like “getting vegetables, sorting the utensils” among others
If you are a senior citizen who doesn’t wish to cook, then there are advantages of a meal delivery service as compared to ordering from a food app, says Mr Khoree: “Less spicy food that is healthy and home-made and the freedom from kitchen chores.”
Featured image courtesy: Food for Thought
The Independence Years Special
Oral historian, multimedia artist and author Aanchal Malhotra’s work includes her first book, Remnants of a Separation: A History of the Partition through Material Memory (HarperCollins India, 2017), which is the story of the belongings refugees from either side of the border carried with them during partition in 1947. Malhotra is also the co-founder of the Museum of Material Memory, a ‘digital repository’ of material culture and memory from the Indian subcontinent. Much of her work also bridges the generation gap, bringing stories of an older generation and an important time in the subcontinent’s shared history to a younger audience. Malhotra is working on her second book and lives in Delhi.
Here are 20 books on the Partition in 1947 that make it to Malhotra’s reading list:
1. This Is Not That Dawn – Yashpal
Translated from the Hindi by Anand
Written originally in Hindi as ‘Jootha Sach’, this is arguably one of the most comprehensive novels about the Partition. Set in Lahore, it chronicles the lives of the residents of the Walled City before, during and after the Divide.
2. The Great Partition – Yasmin Khan
In this seminal work of non-fiction, Yasmin Khan examines the context, execution, and aftermath of Partition, weaving together local politics and ordinary lives with the larger political forces at play.
3. Freedom at Midnight: The Epic Drama for India’s Struggle for Independence – Dominique Lapierre and Larry Collins
An almost total recall of the negotiations that led up to that historic Midnight, using primary as well as secondary sources to an exhaustive degree. This book is of particular interest as it chronicles independence through the use of multiple character-sketches of the political personalities involved, as well as the layman their actions affected.
4. Partition Voices: Untold British Stories – Kavita Puri
Stemming from the author’s family’s experiences, it records a difficult and dual migration – first, of refugees fleeing across the Radcliffe Line, and then farther, across the tumultuous dark waters to Britain. Upon arrival, the first generation of South Asians, men and women who had lived under the Raj, now fought to live alongside it.
5. Jinnah – India, Partition, Independence – Jaswant Singh
A vastly controversial book written on Pakistan’s founding father by Jaswant Singh, a former Finance Minister and External Affairs Minister of India, caused him to be expelled by the BJP. However, in this book, Singh sets out to provide clarity on some of the unanswered questions about Partition, tracing the complex arch of Quaid-e-Azam’s character from being an ambassador of Hindu-Muslim unity to the demand for a separate, Muslim state.
Fifteen of the recommended books from Malhotra’s personal collection
6. Punjab – Bloodied, Partitioned, Cleansed – Prof. Ishtiaq Ahmed
Professor Ahmed traverses his way through Undivided Punjab, conducting first-hand interviews with members of various communities and religion, compiling what is, without a doubt, one of the most detailed case studies of Partition and Punjab. A must-read for all looking to understand the highly nuanced, region-specific events that led to the Divide.
7. Since 1947: Narratives among Punjabi Migrants in Delhi – Ravinder Kaur
Written after rigorous field research in and around Delhi, the book delves specifically into the Partition experiences of Punjabi Hindu refugees and the coping strategies employed when forced to leave their homes in 1947, culminating in the formation of a new identification process. In some ways, the book can also be described as a character graph of the evolution of the Capital city of New Delhi post Partition.
8. Unbordered Memories: Sindhi Stories of Partition – Rita Kothari
The loss of land and home remains constant in all those affected by Partition, but none perhaps as absolutely as the Hindu Sindhi, for whom, the entirety of Sindh remained in Pakistan. In this book, we witness Sindhis from both India and Pakistan making imaginative entries in each other’s worlds. Many stories testify to the empathy shared by both the Hindu and Muslim Sindhis for the plight of each other, illuminating how the Sindhi identity was far greater than any conforming to any religious group. Rita Kothari is also particularly well known for her work on Partition, language and the vocabulary of division.
9. Pakistan, or the Partition of India – Dr. B.R Ambedkar
In this work, first published in 1940, Ambedkar analyses the possible reasons in favour of and against partition. As with much of his other work, he relies not on appeals to emotion, but on statistics and reason, examining the Muslim case for Pakistan, the Hindu case against Pakistan, the possible Muslim and Hindu alternatives to Pakistan, and then proceeds to provide a conclusion of his beliefs.
Oral historian and author Aanchal Malhotra
10. Midnight’s Children – Salman Rushdie
A literary masterpiece about a group of children born at the stroke of midnight on August 15, 1947 – the very moment of India’s independence – their lives inseparable, at times indistinguishable, from the history of their country.
11. A Bend in the Ganges – Manohar Malgonkar
A vivid portrait of life in British India from the 1930s until Partition in 1947. Malgonkar’s novel takes us through the struggle for freedom and employment of force and violence, through the lives of his protagonists Gian Talwar, Debi-Dayal and Shafi Usman, three ordinary men from different cultural backgrounds.
12. Footprints of Partition: Narratives of Four Generations of Pakistanis and Indians and Between the Great Divide: A Journey into Pakistan Administered Kashmir – Anam Zakaria
Zakaria’s first book, Footprints of Partition, is a compilation of her fieldwork and research as an oral historian, recording how memories of Partition can also be considered generational, and how our yearning for home can be translated into children and grandchildren of Partition displaced families.
Her second book, Between the Great Divide, is a brave and unique endeavour as the award-winning Pakistani writer travels through Pakistan Administered Kashmir to hear the voices of its people. She talks to women and children living near the Line of Control, bearing the brunt of ceasefire violations; journalists and writers braving all odds to document events in remote areas; political and military representatives championing the cause of Kashmir; former militants still committed to the cause; nationalists struggling for a united independent Kashmir; and refugees yearning to reunite with their families on the other side.
13. The Spoils of Partition: Bengal and India, 1947–1967 – Joya Chatterjee
Using compelling sources, the book shows how and why the borders were redrawn, how the creation of new nation-states led to unprecedented upheavals, massive shifts in population and wholly unexpected transformations of the political landscape in both Bengal and India.
14. Borders & Boundaries – Ritu Menon and Kamla Bhasin
While there are plenty of official accounts of Partition, there are few social histories and fewer feminist histories. ‘Borders and Boundaries‘ changes that, providing first-hand accounts and memoirs, juxtaposed alongside official government accounts. The authors make women not only visible but central. They explore what country, nation, and religious identity meant for women, and they address the question of the nation-state and the gendering of citizenship. Written after considerable fieldwork and interviews with Partition survivors, wards of the state, social workers and women who were abducted during the Divide.
15. Kitne Pakistan? (How many Pakistans?) Hindi – Kamleshwar
In a fictional court, various historical characters are brought to the witness’s box and asked to narrate their version of history. These historical personalities range from Mughal emperors Babur and Aurangzeb, Spanish adventurer Hernando Cortez, Lord Mountbatten. Although it does not directly deal with the events of those days, the shadow of the Partition constantly hovers on it.
16. A time of Madness: A Memoir of Partition – Salman Rashid
During the chaos of partition in 1947, something dreadful happened in the city of Jalandhar in Punjab. After living in the shadow of his family’s tragedy for decades, in 2008, Rashid made the journey back to his ancestral village to uncover the truth. A time of Madness is the story of what he discovered. It is a tale of unspeakable brutality but it is also a testament to the uniquely human traits of forgiveness, redemption and the resilience of the human spirit.
17. The Line of Control: Travelling with the Indian and Pakistani Armies – Happymon Jacob
This vividly told, fast-paced narrative brings the border area to life. Jacob was given unprecedented access by the Indian and Pakistani armies and he explores how the border is seen-both in the popular imagination and by those who exist in its shadow. He chronicles the lives of civilians and soldiers, their courage and resilience in the face of constant danger and the extraordinary similarities between the two sides.
18. The Kashmir Dispute: 1947-2012 (2 volumes) by AG Noorani
In this highly detailed book, Noorani traces the complex history of Kashmir and the political and social discontent and dissent surrounding it, particularly in response to the question of the accession of the state of Jammu and Kashmir to India in late 1947. It then delves into the intricacies of the Kashmir problem with a collection of the author’s articles published over the last five decades in various dailies, journals, and books, bringing to light many hitherto unknown or forgotten issues and facts relating to the troubled history of the state.
19. In Freedom’s Shade- Anis Kidwai
A personal memoir and an activist’s record of the nature of gendered and religious violence during the Partition of India and the subsequent murder of her husband at the hands of communal perpetrators. Written originally in Urdu as Azaadi Ki Chhaaon Mein.
Part novel, part memoir, part feminist anthem, A Gujarat Here, A Gujarat There is not only a powerful tale of Partition loss and dislocation but also charts the odyssey of a spirited young woman determined to build a new identity for herself on her own terms.
To know more about Aanchal Malhotra’s work, visit the following links:
http://www.museumofmaterialmemory.com/
https://www.instagram.com/aanch_m/
https://twitter.com/AanchalMalhotra
Every August, Silver Talkies shares work done on the theme; records memories and instances of humanity, fortitude and courage during the Independence Years — stories of life in a newly independent India; crossing over during Partition and stories of finding freedom.
Cops have always been a strong support for the senior citizens across country. Find out more about what police is doing to lend a helping hand to seniors.
The news of Mumbai Police celebrating the birthday of a lonely septuagenarian stole many hearts recently. Kumud Joshi, 77, a senior citizen who lives alone in Khar, was surprised and happy to see a group of police officers from the Khar Police Station with a birthday cake on July 13 to wish her on the special day. The cops organised this to ensure Joshi did not feel lonely on her birthday. Despite news of senior citizens being attacked and robbed, truth is that police forces across the country have come up with several initiatives to keep our seniors safe. Besides the already existing senior-friendly services provided by cops across the country, the first seven months of 2019 have seen several new police initiatives aimed towards the senior citizens.
Kerala Police’s Bell of Faith, an emergency aid for senior citizens: In order to ensure safety of the seniors, the Kerala Police has taken a great initiative this month. They have launched Bell of Faith that aims to offer immediate help to senior citizens in case of any emergency services or health issues. Through a team of volunteers staying nearby, an elderly person can now seek instant support. Under this project, remote control devices will be provided to senior citizens staying alone and they can call for help with the press of a button. The volunteer nearby will get an alert making it possible to deliver immediate help. The cops will install the equipment and provide the remote control device which is free of cost. The Janamaithri beat officers will look after the rest of the assistance. A special drive has been initiated among the residents’ associations in the city to spread awareness regarding the project.
Mumbai Police educates senior citizens on safety in real and virtual world: Mumbai Police has begun knocking doors of senior citizens and reaching out to them in public parks to make them aware about the safety issues in real and more specifically, the virtual world. Under a major outreach program, more than 150 interactions have taken place between the police and senior citizens in Borivali-Goregaon belt in less than a month to primarily make the seniors aware of vishing where crooks pretending to be from banks or a reputed company make phone calls to convince seniors to reveal their card details. To know more about staying safe online, click here: https://silvertalkies.com/stay-safe-banking-frauds/
The main objective of such a program is to talk to seniors about cyber and personal security and collate data on senior citizens living alone. Apart from this, senior citizens can always make use of the ElderLine initiative of police and call 1090 for seeking help. For more information on ElderLine, click here: https://mumbaipolice.maharashtra.gov.in/elderline.asp
Kolkata Police’s Pronam protects seniors from crime and crisis: The Kolkata Police is helping over 18,000 senior citizens in sorting out legal issues related to properties as well as helping them at the time of crisis or medical emergency. This is specifically dedicated to seniors living alone and far away from their children and relatives. A joint initiative of the Kolkata Police and the Bengal and Dignity Foundation, an NGO, Pronam aims to help the senior citizens redress issues through a permanent office that has been set up near Ballygunge Police Station. All the seniors have to do is become a member of this initiative and fill up a form provided at the counter or available online (http://www.kolkatapolice.gov.in/images/docs/regform.pdf). This way, all the details provided by the senior citizens will have an entry to the database. Under Pronam, a deputed team will visit the homes of the members and conduct a security audit and know about other issues being faced by the seniors regarding health or other legal matters.
Bengaluru Police creates a bridge of connection between seniors and neighbourhood officers: Apart from Elders Helpline (http://www.nightingaleseldercare.com/index.php/elders-helpline), a well-oiled elder support helpline (1090) that provides quick support, legal help, counseling and police intervention to the senior citizens in filing a complaint regarding an abuse, property-related dispute and medical emergency, Bengaluru police has taken a new initiative of connecting senior citizens with nearby police officers to enable them reach out to the police for instant help. The senior citizens along with the others can now contact the beat officers responsible for maintaining law and order in their respective areas and seep immediate support. Bengaluru Police have pasted posters and flyers with information about their sub-beat officer along with their photographs and contact details outside banks, ATMs and homes of residents to make sure the citizens are aware of who their beat officers are and their contact numbers.
Delhi Police’s Senior Citizen Cell aims at providing overall support to the seniors: Senior Citizen Cell under Delhi Police comes with the objective of coordinating safety and security of senior citizens with the help of Area Police, monitoring of registered seniors through telephonic interaction on a regular basis, conducting field visits to senior citizens for making them aware of several aspects of safety, encouraging regular social interaction of senior citizens in the neighbourhood and coordinating police verification of domestic help by Area Police. For further details and registration, you can reach at: http://www.delhipolice.nic.in/seniorcitizen/objectives.htm
Chennai Police’s senior citizen friendly measures make life easier for seniors: Chennai Police is known for an array of services dedicated towards the safety and well-being of senior citizens. Some of these services include senior ID cards, single-press call to the police and daily check-ins. A senior ID card is a card with vital personal and medical information that any senior can always carry. This card helps in immediate identification and appropriate treatment in case of hospitalisation. On registering to the single-press call initiative and sharing vital information that goes to the police database, a senior citizen may just long-press ‘2’ to get in touch with the police in case of any emergency. The police quickly dispatches a team to the registered address, call an ambulance and help the caller. The police also assists in setting up speed dial on the landline or mobile phone. Daily check-in is a service provided to registered seniors and their spouse where the police check in with the senior everyday.
Pune Police reaches out to seniors via WhatsApp groups: In addition to the special helpline number (1098) dedicated exclusively for the senior citizens to provide safety and aid during emergency, several police stations in Pune have formed WhatsApp groups of senior citizens in their respective areas. These WhatsApp groups are moderated by the cops and concerns of the members are being resolved. Passport verification of seniors have been made easy with group of police personnel travelling to the addresses of seniors for name verification instead of seniors having to travel to the police station. The police conducts survey and issues identity cards to the senior citizens in respective areas.
Smartphones can add a lot of fun and convenience to our lives, especially with the aid of apps that can be installed in them. Here are 7 cool smartphone apps that are not just helpful but entertaining too!
In February, we did a feature on apps that can assist seniors in everyday life. Here are some more senior-friendly smartphone apps that we hope you’ll find useful and enjoyable:
1. Evernote: Evernote is an app designed to take notes, organize, make task lists, create reminders, etc. In other words, Evernote, if used well, can help you stay on top of things. “I am absolutely dependent on Evernote. All my recipes, writing, shopping lists, important information, expenses, pictures, etc., are filed there. That’s my most important app,” says Sumana Chatterjee from Bangalore who can’t recommend this one enough.
2. Dunzo: Have you run out of milk in the middle of the day? Need to send over freshly made gulab jamuns to your daughter’s home two hours of traffic away? Download Dunzo. If you live in Bangalore, Gurugram or Pune, Dunzo can do the running around for you, whether it is to bring groceries from the neighbourhood kirana shop or whet your appetite for a Magai Paan. Or need to send over a parcel by courier and don’t have the energy to step out? The app can be really handy for older people as it manages to take care of fairly small chores that can add to your workload but need to be finished anyway. Of course they’ll charge you for it but hey, you save on the fuel too!
3. Pacer Pedometer: Most elders these days try to lead an active, healthy life. Walking briskly, even for 30-40 minutes a day is said to have great health benefits. One of the best ways to keep track of how many steps you take is to install apps like Pacer (there are many others – search as Step Tracker and you’ll get options). They also have exercise videos thrown in as a bonus often and you can even join community fitness challenges like 10k steps a month to stay motivated.
4. Q+: Q+ is a hearing aid app that can accurately evaluate hearing loss through your smartphone. It can then make your hearing experience better on the phone with what they call, ‘adaptive sound processing and controllable listening experiences.’ That means the app is intuitive and can adapt to different environments (noisy, quiet etc) based on what your hearing level is. Indrajit Chatterjee, who uses it regularly, feels that it tests the hearing level and also helps in increasing the hearing efficiency.5. Photo Editor apps: While this may sound very millennial to many readers, apps that help you take better photographs or edit them to your requirement are great if you are creative or run a home business. Cookbook author Bridget Kumar is a regular user of apps like Pic Collage which can edit photographs, make greeting cards, etc. She also uses social sharing apps like Instagram where she is available as @bridgetkumar and shares photographs of the food she creates regularly. If you are a creative person or love to cook, Instagram could be a fun app to have.
6. Lumosity: Lumosity is a brain game app with over 50 cognitive games. The complexity of the games increases as you continue playing. There are puzzles and mental calculation and solution games designed to keep your brain active. It’s a great way to not just pass your time, whether you are 16 or 60, but also a good way to test memory and give your brain cells a bit of a boost.
7. Otto Radio/Audible: Podcasts are digital episodes, books or news that one can listen to. Many older people have problems with reading the fine print, making books difficult to read as they age. Podcasts on the other hand can keep you engaged with audio syndication of documentaries, interesting news series and even books. Give them a try today.
And while we are on apps, if you have a smartphone, chances are you have tried your hand at taking photographs. Join our Smartphone Photography workshop this weekend if you live in Bangalore and enhance your photography skills. You’ll be surprised at how much you can do with your smartphone camera!
A Living Will or Advance Medical Directive recognizes the right of a terminally ill person to withhold medical treatment under certain guidelines. However, it is still a complicated process in India. Details from a talk held by Senior Advocate Shiv Kumar for Silver Talkies recently.
If you have followed the news since last year, you are likely to have come across the term Living Will and the discussions and debate around it. In March 2018, the Supreme Court of India, in a landmark judgement, recognized the right of a terminally ill person to execute an Advance Medical Directive (AMD), a substitute or an alternative terminology to the living will. The AMD gives the authority of withdrawal or withholding medical treatment under the governance of guidelines as prescribed by the Supreme Court in the absence of legislation. In Western countries, the provision of a Living Will is provided by legislation which does not exist in our country.
About 73 per cent urban Indians are not aware of their right to Living Will and only 6 per cent had actually made one, according to a survey conducted recently.
An interactive talk on July 5 organised by Silver Talkies in association with Samsara Living, explained the basic differences between a Living Will and a Will, the contents of a Living Will, how it can be made and its consequences. It also provided information on the Supreme Court judgement and the subject of euthanasia. The talk was delivered by Shiv Kumar, a senior advocate with 48 years of active practice at Karnataka High Court.
WHAT IS A LIVING WILL
Kumar stated that the Supreme Court defines Euthanasia as an intentional premature termination of another person’s life either by direct intervention or by refolding life-prolonging measures and resources, either at the express or employed request of the person or in the absence of such approval, consent of the family. Euthanasia can be of two kinds: active and passive. While active euthanasia is called positive and aggressive, passive euthanasia is termed as negative and non-aggressive. Active euthanasia refers to ceasing or not giving treatment or support system that is required for a person to live artificially. A Living Will provides an individual with the authority to make provision of how he or she ought to be treated when he or she is terminally sick.
Kumar said: “A Living Will is not recognised in India but exists in multiple jurisdictions like that of USA, Europe that have a legislation to explain what it is, what does it contain and more. However, in India, we do not have any such legislation. In 2018, the Supreme Court recognised that just as our citizens have the fundamental right to live with dignity, they should also have the legal right to die with dignity.”
“Following the Aruna Shanbaug case, the Supreme Court felt that the right to die with dignity comes under the right to life (Article 21). It recognised that it is pointless to suffer in pain or in a vegetative state or while suffering from a non-curable disease. This is where the Living Will or an Advance Medical Directive (AMD) comes into play,” he added.
Aruna Ramchandra Shanbaug was an Indian nurse who was at the centre of attention in a court case on euthanasia after spending 42 years in a vegetative state as a result of sexual assault. On 24 January 2011, after she had been in this state for 37 years, the Supreme Court of India responded to the plea for euthanasia filed by journalist Pinki Virani, by setting up a medical panel to examine her. The court rejected the petition on 7 March 2011. However, in its landmark opinion, it allowed passive euthanasia in India.
Here is a manual, straight from the Supreme Court to help you understand more about the Advance Medical Directive (AMD).
Who can execute it and how?
What should it contain?
How should it be recorded and preserved?
When and by whom it can be given effect to?
Is it easy to make a Living Will?
Although the Supreme Court has recognised an Advance Medical Directive (AMD), the substitute of Living Will in India, making such a directive involves an extremely complicated procedure. Kumar stated: “It is very difficult for an ordinary layman to understand the concept of a Living Will, implement it or get this process going so that when you are in that state the process becomes easier. When the process is explained to clients wanting to make a Living Will, not one of them comes back as it is very complicated.”
“To clear off the confusion and debates associated with Living Will and Euthanasia, it must be noted that because of this judgment there is a belief that switching off has become anyone’s right. However, that is not so as you need to go through an entire complicated process before you take that decision,” he added.
What could be some of the signs of elder abuse medical practitioners or people working with the elderly could look out for? Dr Naganath Narasimhan Prem, Chief Consultant, Department of Geriatric Medicine, Jaslok Hospital, Mumbai, weighs in.
Some of the key signs of mistreatment or abuse at any point is how the elder looks. It could be a sudden change in hygiene, shabby or torn clothes, lack of grooming at all, like no shaving, unclean clothes, among others.
Many times elders miss their doctor’s appointment and medications. If you ask them, they say I bought the medicine but now it’s finished and I couldn’t buy more. Maybe they weren’t allowed to buy it or given money to meet their medical needs.
Please remember that we can’t always say for sure that these are cases of elder abuse. It’s a grey area.
Injuries are another indicator. At an instance in Delhi, an elderly had come with a fracture. During the X-ray, different fractures in different stages of healing showed up. This doesn’t usually happen. The location of the fractures was suspicious too.
Sometimes you can see thumbprints. Another indicator that something may be wrong is frequent visits to the Emergency Room but not being forthcoming with the doctors about how exactly the injury occurred and leaving right after the treatment.
Decreased sleep, sudden loss of weight, which could be because of lack of food being given to the elder; anxiety and depression are also some red flags. Sometimes, an elder who is very conversational may go quiet very sudden. These could all be indicators.
Another factor to watch out for could be unexplained pain. In some cases, the pain could be a manifestation of what they are not able to explain.
You also need to be watchful of two histories – one from the elderly and one from the person caring for her or him. You can co-relate both.
Cases of mistreatment might be more in chronically bedridden patients or persons with Dementia. Abuse can be physical, psychological, financial, emotional and sexual.
Even asking an elderly at home what they do the whole day in a derogatory manner is abuse. Many times the elderly don’t come forth because of fear of retaliation if it’s a family member. We do not have an efficient system in place in our country where they can be rehabilitated in case there is a case of abuse. That is still a work in progress.
Healing After Abuse
Very often, if the mistreatment or abuse is in the hands of the child, then the elderly go into self-pity mode. They say I must have done something to deserve this.
They need to know that this hasn’t happened because of something they did. You can always get an ailment in old age but that does not mean you deserve abuse.
Elders also need to know their rights and know the law. You need to know your rights. The Maintenance and Welfare of Parents and Senior Citizens Act 2007 needs revision.
Helplines are great ideas as are support group for older adults, where they can broach the topic with their peer group. Awareness is extremely important for people to know and understand what is abuse.
There is a concept of restorative justice that focuses on decreasing fear in older adults. It also looks towards mending the relationship between the elderly and the abuser. Financial abuse can still be mended but the scars caused by physical, sexual and psychological abuse are hard to heal.
Meditation and Yoga may help as would being part of support groups where they are given a chance to express themselves. I strongly believe that ultimately, elders should get a chance to support themselves along with their peers. So that there is a core group or peer network where they can share if something happens.
June 15 is World Elder Abuse Awareness Day. Here’s a guide on how to report elder abuse.
World Elder Abuse Awareness Day is on June 15 and elder abuse cases are on a rise, as per data recorded by the Elders Helpline, Bengaluru. It is important to provide older adults and those who care for them with the knowledge of what they are required to do in order to report abuse that they face. Just being aware of The Maintenance and Welfare of Parents and Senior Citizens Act, 2007 is not enough. Here’s an easy manual from Silver Talkies that older adults can follow to report any kind of abuse they go through. Senior Advocate, Shiv Kumar tells us the steps senior citizens facing elder abuse should abide by.
Report it to the jurisdictional police station: The very first step is to make the jurisdictional police aware of the abuse. A senior facing abuse has to go to the police station and file a written complaint. Those who cannot write are required to verbally inform it to the station house officers who can pen it down for them and get their thumb impression on the piece of paper where the complaint has been written. Oral complaints are not adequate to take action as it can lead to confusion in the future.
File a First Investigation Report (FIR) in case of an admissible offence, assault or an injury: In case a senior is hurt and reports an admissible offence, an assault or an injury to the police station, the cops must register an FIR and investigate the complaint and find out whether the report is genuine and gauge its intensity.
Obtain a wound certificate from the government hospital: Once the cops find out the truth of what has happened after the investigation and the complaint appears to be genuine, the senior has to be taken to a government hospital for medical examination by the cops. Following the examination, the abused senior citizen will be provided with a wound certificate on the basis of which, the cops will file a charge-sheet against the accused. The case will thereby go on to the magistrate court or others and the legal discourse will be followed.
Seek help from the helplines: The seniors may also make use of the Elders Helpline available in their respective cities and seek help from the coordinators available there and file a petition to report an abuse. The counsellors available at the helpline first listen to the case and find out if they are genuine. Once found to be true, a written complaint is registered by the Helpline and a notice is sent to the perpetrator through the police. Following this, the Helpline tries and creates a platform of dialogue between the two parties and tries to resolve the dispute amicably. For property-related abuse, the legal experts available at the helpline advise them towards a settlement.
Elder Helplines across India
According to Senior Advocate and Silver Talkies panel expert Shiv Kumar, in actual practice, once a senior files a report of verbal or emotional abuse against someone within the family, the cops do not register FIR in the first place and do an informal enquiry. They call up the person against whom the report has been filed and try to make a peaceful settlement. The legal discourse is followed when the police find it to be a prima facie case.
World Elder Abuse Day is on June 15 . Sadly, Bengaluru has seen an increase in the number of cases over the last one year.
While the World Elder Abuse Day on June 15, is committed to tackling elder abuse, it is a shocker that Bengaluru city has seen a considerable rise in harassment and abuse against older adults. In the last one year, harassment and elder abuse cases have increased from 174 in 2016-2017 to 264 in 2018-19, as per the data recorded by the Elders Helpline, Bengaluru. The data also revealed that while 60% of elders have stated that they face some kind of abuse, only 18% of them came forward to report an abuse.
Most of the cases of harassment and abuse against senior citizens are caused by a family member, usually son or daughter-in-law. A few cases of elder abuse have been registered against the neighbours, as per the statistics available with the Helpline. A greater number of senior citizens report about verbal and emotional abuse out of which a majority of disputes are property related.
Sandhya G, project-in-charge, Elders Helpline, Office of the Commissioner of Police, Bangalore, said: “It is unfortunate that most of the elder abuse cases that are registered with us are genuine and this is because today’s generation considers the previous generation as a burden. Once the parents grow old, they become financially dependent on their sons and daughters and cannot contribute to the income for the family. This results in the son neglecting and abusing them to get rid of the so-called additional pressure.”
“When a case is reported at our Helpline, we first listen to them and find out if its genuine or not. When found to be true, we take a written complaint and send a notice to the perpetrators through the cops. We then bring both the parties together and talk to them and try to settle the dispute amicably,” added Sandhya.
Blaming the inadequate implementation of Maintenance of Senior Citizens Act for the rise in the number of cases every month in the city, Shiv Kumar, senior advocate, said: “Under the maintenance act, a cop is expected to maintain vigil, particularly on the senior citizens. However, that is only on paper and rarely do we implement the law. Moreover, Karnataka police force is already unstaffed. A para force has to be created including the senior citizens in order to keep an eye on older adults and prevent their harassment.
Many of India’s middle-aged have become the sandwich generation, taking care of their elderly and the young. But what is it doing to them, especially the women?
It was in the early 90s that I came across an ardent ‘foreign’ devotee at the Sri Sathya Sai Baba Ashram in Puttaparthi.
I was intrigued by the story of her mother and Baba’s miracle. Being the sole caretaker of her mother suffering from Alzheimer’s, it had taken a toll on her emotional and physical well-being and also wrecked her marriage. She added further that within a week of knowing about Baba, her mother had mercifully moved on.
Experiencing the ambivalence of the first timer at the Ashram and operating from the widely preferred, moralistic platform of how we Indians revere the elders and don’t consider them a burden, I was aghast that death could be viewed as a relief. Moreover being younger, I couldn’t envisage a life without parents.
Changing The Paradigm
There have been a series of events in the last 50 years that has brought plenty of changes in the familial framework in India, and many of India’s middle-aged are looking at these changes squarely in its face and bearing the brunt.
A few of our parents adhered to the message, ‘We Two, Ours Two,’ having understood the financial advantage of a small family. Then there was a gradual disintegration of the joint family system caused by rapid urbanization where the children moved away from the household. The joint family had a decided advantage over nuclear because there was a division of duties and responsibilities which were shared alike.
Besides the above changes, there is a growing trend of parents living to be an octogenarian or a nonagenarian. Life expectancy in India has increased by 11 years since 1990. Despite the said medical advancement, the quality of life is far from good. As a friend remarked, “hospitals are like railway platform with increasing footfall.”
Above all, our daughters are doing as well as our sons, and hence there has been a steady increase in career-oriented youngsters.
Caught between the two worlds, India’s middle-aged are the sandwich generation. Many of them find themselves in the not so enviable position of not only taking care of their own ageing parents but also being in-loco parentis to their young grandchildren.
Ms Iyer, a bit shy of 50, shudders re-living the year 2018 while she was caught between her hospitalized mother and her married daughter who had come to her ‘ parent’s house’ for the delivery of her first child.
“I am the only daughter, and hence I stay with my septuagenarian parents. My Octogenarian mother-in-law lives with me and being a widow she likes to live by the rules a widow is supposed to abide by. I don’t remember having a good night’s sleep when my diabetic mother was absolutely demoralized with the thought of losing her leg. Trapped between taking care of her and almost losing my daughter due to post-delivery bleeding, I don’t know how I survived it all. Even today, I have none to comfort me as I juggle my day taking care of my mother-in-law and parents, the baby as my daughter is working, my son’s needs as he is preparing for his overseas studies.”
“So, when is your me time?” I ask of her.
Preceded by a snort that says it all, “I am supposed to do what’s to be done, right? We hardly have anyone. Moreover, extended relatives prefer to remain a bystander living in their own comfort zone. I don’t remember the last time I went out or took a walk as I am busy living the life to ease other’s lives. Sometimes, I realize my frustration is so deep that I lost my cool when my daughter and son-in-law returned from a movie on a Saturday. ”
Truth be told, I had no idea of how she could ease her busy life of not only taking care of 3 members of the older generation, an infant while her daughter is at work, besides taking care of her husband, son and her son-in-law. Unfortunately, in most Indian homes, the lady of the house is expected to work for the other’s comfort and her needs are ignored or worse not even acknowledged.
Usha Subramanian who has just crossed 60 years, says, “I have realized that all through my life I have been playing roles…a role of a dutiful daughter, wife, daughter-in-law, mother, mother-in-law and grandmother that I am now left wondering where am I in this equation?”
Subramanian has two daughters, one living close by and one overseas. She is a grandmother four times over. With both daughters soaring in their respective careers, Subramanian is a hands-on grandmother to the grandchildren who stay close by. She helps them during examinations while preparing goodies for them. “I feel that I am always there for one set of grandchildren and missing out totally on the other set.”
From the time she returned abruptly from her trip abroad in 2015 when her father suffered a stroke, she hasn’t got an opportunity to re-visit her daughter overseas.
“My octogenarian mother is not doing too well. Though I have my sisters to take turns, the heavy weight of having her bedridden is too taxing. I worry about how long this ordeal will continue,” she whispers shame-facedly.
Harsh truth when we almost hope for a permanent end to taking care of the older generation; yet it is the truth nevertheless.
“Despite doing so much, hardly anyone is happy… Parents are not happy because they feel we need to give them more time. Children are not happy because we aren’t there for them. Husbands have given up on us! We are permanently weighed down by guilt.”
As my aunt once removed said, “My father always told us to look ahead and walk and not keep turning back to look at our parents lest we trip and fall.” Unfortunately, many of India’s middle-aged have one eye towards the back and another towards the future and hence walk cross-eyed and are permanently stressed out.
The Way Forward
Taking care or giving care to loved ones is hugely satisfying as long as your needs are kept in mind as well. When I became the primary caretaker of my mother, I did my own share of mistakes of forgetting to take care of my needs, despite being a trained counsellor. When she refused to walk post a very successful hip replacement surgery, I was extremely frustrated and angry. “Your pent up resentment is more to do with keeping your own life on hold,” said my counsellor Lakshmi. K. “Get out the house more, meet people, exercise. Do what you like best. Get on with your own life, it will make caregiving a little more manageable,” she added, “Sometimes, we have to wrest out our own space.”
Lakshmi was right as caregiver burn out is a thing. You can read more about it here.
This realization that all members of a family have their own needs which has to be met should percolate across generations.
Similarly, grandparents love being around grandchildren. Young adults should realize that their own parents are individuals and hence have a life beyond parenting their grandchildren. I visited a house where the octogenarian was forced to take total responsibility of paying taxes and bills while the computer savvy working daughter had ‘no time’ to either pay them online or to teach her father to do so.
For hard-working young people, weekends might be a luxury, but the same holds true for their parents or in-laws who are taking care of their children during weekdays.
How about treating them to something of their choice? Unfortunately, it is women who bear the brunt in caregiving or taking care. It’s time to speak up and ask everyone around to share the load. It’s time to give the cape around your shoulder a rest!
With many elders living alone as children are away due to professional obligations, services provided by KITES Senior Care work well as a continuous care partner.
Old age is second childhood. So goes the saying by Greek playwright Aristophanes.
For many it is indeed a second childhood of sorts.
Age brings with it healthcare and other needs that require caring for ageing parents just the way they did when their children were young. With families becoming increasingly nuclear due to professional commitments, caring for the elders at home is a source of concern for many. It’s where geriatrics and senior care services can step in to help.
KITES Senior Care, started in 2016, is one of these. They work as continuous care partner for elders providing geriatric care at home and at senior living facilities that they manage. At home care ranges from physician & nursing oversight to providing stay-in nurses & trained caregivers apart from other therapies and sustained wellness options like Physiotherapy, Yoga and other health care services at home. Since the service is provided at home, it saves time and energy on the family caregiver’s part.
“We manage around 90 elder families in Bangalore at any given point in time and are the health and wellness partner to three senior living projects covering over 200 active seniors,” says Rajagopal G (Raj), who set up KITES Senior Care along with Dr AS Arvind a senior gastroenterologist turner healthcare mentor & Dr Rajesh Kumar J, Internal Medicine & Diabetologist. Aruna Prakash’s father has been looked after by ‘health care technicians’ from KSC since 2016. ‘The caregivers are attentive and also proactive,” she says. Sairam Vepakomma adds how his father has shown remarkable progress with physiotherapy services from KSC at home.
What’s reassuring for many clients like Ms Prakash and Mr Vepakomma is that KITES Senior Care was founded by doctors & healthcare professionals who came from strong health care background, found a gap in the elder care space and decided to address the needs and growing challenges faced by the elderly in India.
“Geriatrics as a speciality is just evolving in India while this is pretty much evolved in many developed countries like the US, Japan, Australia and UK, to name a few. Also, the fact that families are turning nuclear, elders living alone owing to their children relocating to other cities or countries and the fact that people live longer owing to improved medical care are compounding the care for the elderly,” says Dr A S Arvind.
KITES Senior Care has been a journey of passion for Raj. “I switched to healthcare out of passion after many years in the corporate world. I began my journey with single specialities with Motherhood and then was in the field of reproductive medicine with HCG Milann. That’s when Dr Arvind (who is an active senior himself) and I spent many hours discussing the need to build an ethical geriatric brand in India which is lacking. Thus, came the ideation of KITES Senior Care.”
An activity organised by KITES.
Services on Offer
KITES Senior Care offers services under three broad categories:
* Care at Home (covers preventive, primary & speciality care)
* Care at Senior Living Facilities
* Transition & Palliative care
The much in demand Care at Home package provides primary and speciality care with a specific focus on Parkinson’s care, Dementia care, Stroke management and Post- surgery care. Their Care management, Wellness Program and Advocacy are their uniqueness. Their Care Management process ensures clients are supervised continuously by a dedicated care manager.
They cater to monitoring the health of elders as well in the form of structured packages like ElderSHIELD and Annual Health Check-up (AHC). ElderSHIELD is an annual package for the elderly who live alone in Bengaluru and need an oversite/family partner. AHC is an effective annual health review program.
Holistic Wellbeing
While physical wellbeing is of utmost importance for older people, the team also believe in active ageing opportunities to keep seniors mentally stimulated. Events, activities, workshops and occasional day outings are organised for elders. A newsletter keeps its clients engaged and a blog focuses on important topics for elders and their family members.
Events usually include activities spanning topics from health and wellness to art. Over 150 events have been conducted so far and the founders believe that these events not only provide elders opportunities for engagement and enrichment but also socialisation.
The Advocacy service includes responding to enquiries regarding eldercare, which may be generic and also go beyond the scope of their regular work. “Children who call on behalf of their parents may need more inputs to take a holistic view of care. Our motto has been to provide them with the right information,” Dr Rajesh Kumar adds. The team sees an increase in the demand for at home care, followed by the need for elders to be cared in specialised facilities. They are setting up a model Transition and palliative care facility in the city.
KITES Senior Care’s services are available only in Bangalore, though the startup is looking at expansion at the end of 2019 or beginning of 2020. In a span of two and half years, the team has serviced over 1000 elderly in Bangalore. The founders feel that there is a definite need for elder care in cities, though it comes with its own set of challenges such as non-availability of appropriate insurance cover to avail elder care services and low willingness to pay for such services being some of those.
With their one of its kind speciality in geriatric care, the team at KSC feels the elder care field is poised to grow tremendously. “We wish to be a leader in this space and impact many elderly lives across India with technology,” they sign off.
To know more, visit: https://www.kiteshealth.com/
In the case of a divorce, the grandparents are the last thing on everyone’s mind. But how does divorce affect grandparents socially and emotionally? We Take A Look.
Deepa Rao*, a 70-year-old homemaker, remembers the night her daughter called her to say she had had enough of her 16-year-old marriage and wanted to walk away from her emotionally abusive husband. “My mind went blank for a long time. I just listened to my daughter vent out her unhappiness. The next day, the reality of the situation sank in and I felt so depressed and didn’t know where or whom to turn to.” Luckily for Mrs. Rao, many relatives pitched in to help her and her daughter and most importantly, lent her a non-judgemental shoulder to cry on.
But not many seniors in similar situations are that lucky. In India and in many other parts of the world, when a couple decides to separate, the focus is mostly on them and their children. Rarely does the spotlight include the equally stressed and often scared older generation, who are dealing with trauma as well. While the divorcing couple and their children are offered professional counselling services, the grandparents have no choice but to turn to their community or relatives in order to help absorb the shock.
Dr. Tania Roy, a Psychiatric Social Worker in Bangalore’s National Institute of Mental Health and Neuro Sciences (NIMHANS) says that in reality, divorce affects at least three generations. There is still a stigma attached to divorce and sadly, in her line of duty, she interacts with many divorcing couples who are ordered by courts to go for Family Counselling. But ‘family’ does not include the senior citizens who are often equally invested.
The elderly parents, in order to cope, revert to doing what they have always done: protecting their child. “At an emotional level, the feeling of wanting to protect their divorcing child kicks in. Often, this results in them taking sides, (sometimes) bad-mouthing the spouse or over-protecting the grandchildren. Boundaries get diffused and just when some are ready to enjoy their twilight years in the role of grandparents, they have to again revert to parenting their 20, 30 or even 40-year-old children,” says Dr. Roy.
Gousalya Siva, a third generation Malaysian, moved to the US after her marriage. But when her marriage spiralled out of control, she decided to relocate to Malaysia with her two daughters and pick up where she left off. “My parents cried a lot to see my life broken,” she says. But in the course of 11 years, she, and not professional counsellors helped them understand her choices and get through the dark days.
Samia Sharief, another divorcee, says her parent became mute spectators to her unfolding problems. It was only through Samia’s and her brother’s support that they were able to deal with reality.
Analysing the situation, Dr. Roy feels that one of the reasons there is a tense situation around the issue of divorce and counselling for all affected parties is that divorce is still not accepted by many people. There is a stigma attached. Couples are advised to ‘adjust’ or ‘forgive and forget’ for the sake of children and society. “Some families even in urban settings have a lot of their worth based on social ties. ‘We-adjusted-so-why-can’t-you-adjust’ is often their reasoning.” says Dr. Roy.
As silent spectators to the unravelling of a marital bond, the elderly may end up suffering from varying degrees of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), depression, disturbed sleep, panic attacks and in some cases, the onset of stress-induced diabetes and fluctuations in blood pressure. The thought of legal fees, court appearances, the draining of financial resources all contribute to physical, mental and emotional damages.
Vandana Suri, a member of a Bangalore-based support group for single parents says, “I don’t think they (the elders) even realize they need it (counselling / professional support). Forget going out and seeking it.”
Many professional counsellors this reporter reached out to feel that grandparents, as a generational segment have not been tapped. Many of that generation do not see the benefit of counselling even if they were asked to come. Divorcing couples, in a bid to ‘protect’ their parents make excuses for their parents not to turn up for counselling sessions. Even for a professional to reach out to the older generation, the family has to be open to it otherwise counselling cannot work.
In foreign countries, because divorce is not a taboo subject, there are usually less emotions surrounding a marriage breakdown. In general, legal protocols are strictly enforced/followed and shared parenting is the norm, where parents have equal access to the children and courts are enlightened enough to understand that a child needs both parents in their life. But sadly, the law does not see grandparents as part of the same equation unless one or both divorced parents dies. In USA, the law regarding rights of a grandparent to access their grandchild(ren) is more complicated and differs from state to state.
According to Kumar Jahgirdar, founder and president of the Bangalore-based NGO – Children’s Rights Initiative for Shared Parenting (CRISP)- family law in India is heavily biased against the father. Since he gets fewer visitation rights, paternal grandparents are the ones who miss out on bonding with the children. He feels that the human rights aspect of the grandparents in a divorce situation are denied. CRISP has helped nearly 7,000 fathers get equal visitation rights as the mother, which means that many more paternal grandparents get to see their grandchildren.
The winds of change may be blowing slowly but many senior citizens can take comfort in the fact they are now blowing in the right direction.
*name changed to protect the identity.
With the luxury to spend on travel of their choice and time on their hand, 50 plus travellers are making up a large chunk of the travel market. Here’s what’s in store for them.
Weekend breaks, short outstation trips, long vacations, foodie holidays, driving holidays – if you enjoy exploring new destinations and experiences, there’s no limit to the places you can go.
Travel surveys and research across India is increasingly telling us that as people inch closer to their older years, they are becoming more travel-happy. People in their late 40s and early 50s are saving up for vacations that promise to offer unique experiences. In fact, for many older people, the later years seem to be the chosen time to tick mark their favourite destinations off the list.
There are many reasons for this.
In a more connected world, our awareness of new places and experiences have increased – E.g., we now know about music festivals in the North East or Olive Ridley turtle spotting in the Konkan coast and wish to explore these diverse escapades! We enjoy taking in Yoga Classes, Meditation sessions and nature walks during our holidays. Travel is also no longer looked as an indulgence. In fact, most of us look at it as an enriching activity.
Go green among tea plantations
Older & Bolder
As people move towards their 50s, travel is a hobby many cultivate as a way to make their retirement years interesting and fun. For many, the older years are when they finally have the time and freedom from responsibilities to indulge in their passion for travel.
As a number of people in the 50 plus age bracket tell us, having worked hard throughout their lives and being part of the rat race, they now have both the time and money to spend on a luxury holiday they may not have been able to indulge in earlier. In fact, a report by Frost & Sullivan commissioned by travel software provider Amadeus estimated that by 2020, around 7.3 million older people will travel from India.
Little wonder then that those who love travel, whether in their early 50s or older years, are looking for holidays that provide them something extra – both in terms of the experience and facilities.
And there’s quite a bouquet to chose from for the avid traveller. Companies like Mahindra Holidays, have launched products like Bliss targeted at people 50 years and above. What makes it attractive for customers are the flexible options on offer by these service providers in the travel industry.
Find happiness in nature
The Advantages Of A Vacation Ownership
Finding a good stay can be one of the headaches of travel planning and a Vacation Ownership option, fast becoming popular among older travellers, takes care of that as the resorts available in the plan offer luxurious and varied options among the apartments that customers can choose to stay in.
The process is smooth as customers need to make a one-time payment along with an annual subscription fee every year.
In fact, research shows that vacation ownerships like Bliss and Mahindra Holidays, among others, (which offers a 25-year membership and is their flagship product) are coming of age in India, with 7 out of 10 people finding it appealing (Kantar IMRB Study, 2008).
Owning a timeshare or vacation ownership gives the well-heeled traveller the flexibility of choosing between multiple travel options. For instance, resorts that come with a Club Mahindra Bliss membership are located across India, from the East to North, South, Central India and the West. If you’d like to visit overseas instead, most vacation ownership companies offer resorts overseas too, in places like Dubai, Kuala Lumpur, Thailand and Singapore.
Take a walk by the beach
A Time To Indulge On Your Own
While a vacation with the entire family is always on top of the list for most Indians, many older people are at a stage of life where their children are independent or busy with their own academics or professions. This leaves many of them with enough free time to spend on themselves and the flexibility to select a destination they have been longing to go to, with no limitations like school routines and in many cases, a busy work calendar.
The fifty plus age group also tends to be more discerning, sometimes with specific needs and choices. And the travel industry is working hard to ensure those requirements are met. At Bliss, members are assisted right from the planning stage. There is a dedicated help desk offering travel assistance from 9.30 am to 6.30 pm; there is assistance with services such as airport transfer and the flexibility to break your travel week into two or more holidays. If you are a Club Mahindra member, you get the right of way on holiday bookings and can also enjoy discounts on dining and spa treatments meant exclusively for members.
Such assistance, along with lower cost of products like Club Mahindra Bliss, lower commitment period of 10 years and the freedom to select among 53 destinations across India and overseas makes such tailor-made options interesting for the 50 plus age group.
So, if you are at that stage in life when you have fulfilled many responsibilities and are looking to relax and enjoy the time you have on hand, it’s time to pack that suitcase! Whether you love holidaying by the beach or meditate by the mountainside, hear the birdsong on a jungle safari or check out a busy market in a foreign land – if you have the desire to travel, the world is truly your oyster. Age no bar.
Smartphone apps can add a lot of comfort and convenience to our daily lives. Here are 8 smartphone apps for seniors to help in their everyday life.
Smartphones are mini computers we all carry around in our pockets. In fact, it is said that the smartphones of today pack in more technology than the computers that powered the Apollo 11 spacecraft did. Most older adults in urban India have a smartphone and there are various ways these can be put to good use, especially by downloading some apps (The ones we shall mention here are all free). The right smartphone apps for seniors can help you keep your brain active, stay in touch with news, set medicine reminders, stay connected with your loved ones, watch your favourite movie songs, buy groceries and book tickets all with a touch of your fingertips.
While some apps like WhatsApp, the free messaging service and Skype, for voice and video calls are on the phones of every smartphone savvy senior, making it easy for them to stay connected with family and friends easily, there are few other apps for senior citizens that can add convenience and comfort to their lives. All the smartphone apps for seniors mentioned here can be downloaded both on the iOS store as well as the Play store.
There are as many apps as there are needs. We shall start with some of the essentials in the first part. Here are 8 smartphone apps for seniors to help in everyday life.
Google Maps: With the Google Maps app, finding your way across town or finding a new place has become extremely easy. You can even see traffic details and figure out how much time it will take you to reach from one place to another.
Download here for Android: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.google.android.apps.maps&hl=en
Download here for iOS: https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/google-maps-gps-navigation/id585027354?mt=8
Paytm: Paytm enables you to go cashless for many transactions. Just download the app, load some money into it from either your bank account or through your credit card and you are good to go. From your local chaiwala to the grocery store next door, almost everyone accepts Paytm now, making it easy to make payments even if you’ve forgotten your wallet at home. The other benefit is not having to produce exact change!
Download here for Android: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=net.one97.paytm&hl=en
Download here for iOS: https://itunes.apple.com/in/app/paytm-payments-bank-account/id473941634?mt=8&v0=WWW-APIN-ITSTOP100-FREEAPPS&l=en&ign-mpt=uo%3D4
Uber & Ola: The two apps that make it easy for you to book a cab (and in some cities even an auto) anytime you want. The best part is that the routes are mapped and there is no bargaining for the right fare, as it is automatically calculated at the end of the trip. Makes travel easy and hassle free and can be a very useful tool for many seniors who do not wish to drive. While Ola lets you book a cab without adding any money to the payment wallet, Uber needs a minimum balance before proceeding with the booking. Both however allow the option of making cash payments at the end of a ride.
Download here for Android: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.olacabs.customer&hl=en
https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.ubercab&hl=en
Download here for iOS: https://itunes.apple.com/in/app/ola-cabs-book-taxi-auto/id539179365?mt=8&v0=WWW-APIN-ITSTOP100-FREEAPPS&l=en&ign-mpt=uo%3D4
Medisafe: Medisafe is a popular pill reminder app. It sends you reminders for all your medicines, the dosage, time and any special instructions. It can also track your blood pressure, weight and glucose measurements if you input those. It even has an option where you can put refill reminders when your medicines are about to get over.
Download here for iOS: https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/pill-reminder-by-medisafe/id573916946?mt=8
Download here for Android: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.medisafe.android.client&hl=en
Big Basket: Big Basket offers grocery online and has an express service that can get you things within 90 minutes. Not only is the convenience easy to get used to, they also offer savings on many products and hassle-free returns. Like Big Basket, there are other online grocers like Godrej Nature’s Basket and Grofers, all of whom offer similar options. These apps can be extremely useful for older adults who may often find it difficult to step out just for a few grocery items or may have mobility issues.
Download here for Android: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.bigbasket.mobileapp&hl=en
Download here for iOS:
https://itunes.apple.com/in/app/bigbasket-com-online-grocery/id660683603?mt=8
Swiggy: Hunger pangs can strike anytime, no matter what the age. But getting into the kitchen to rustle up something can seem a chore sometimes to the best of cooks. Food delivery apps like Swiggy, Foodpanda and Zomato (as well as scores of other smaller food delivery services that are often city-specific) make it easy for those lazy days. From breakfast to late night cravings, they have everything on offer for the days when you feel like eating in! There are several payment options, including cash on delivery.
Download here for Android: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=in.swiggy.android&hl=en
Download here for iOS: https://itunes.apple.com/in/app/swiggy-food-order-delivery/id989540920?mt=8
Inshorts: Earthquake in Delhi? A bandh in Bangalore tomorrow? Get news as instantly as it happens through news apps like Inshorts. There are several others too like NDTV, Dailyhunt, etc. The advantage of these news apps is you can stay updated about the breaking news all the time, without opening the paper or switching on the television. What’s also nice is that you can customise your feed to get the kind of news you want, making it a truly personal experience. It’s not just the news aggregators, your favourite newspaper or news channel is likely to have an app too!
You can download Inshorts (or any of the other news apps) from The App Store for iOS or the Play Store for Android devices.
Truecaller: Senior citizens have often fallen victims to fraud calls. An app like Truecaller can be a help as it can identify unknown calls and block Spam calls and spam texts. A good app to have if like most people, you’ve also reached the end of the patience rope with telemarketer calls.
Download for Android here: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.truecaller&hl=en
Download for iOS: https://itunes.apple.com/in/app/truecaller/id448142450?mt=8
Tip: Many people find that they do not have enough storage to download apps. Are you saving all your incoming WhatsApp images by default? Have you deleted unwanted photographs? Spend some time deleting the junk and you are sure to find enough space for useful apps.
Coming in the next instalment: Apps that entertain, educate and work your grey cells.
Pandit Dr Nagaraj Rao Havaldar launched his book on Pandit Bhimsen Joshi at the 66th Sawai Gandharva Bhimsen Mahotsav, Pune in December 2018. He shares his experience of interacting with the legendary musician and tells us why he wrote a book on his Grand Guru.
Dr Nagaraj Rao Havaldar is a leading artiste of the Kirana Gharana and a disciple of Pandit Madhava Gudi, who was a prime disciple of Bharat Ratna Pt. Bhimsen Joshi. Pandit Havaldar brings to his performances the subtle understanding of a scholar and the finesse of an aesthete. A gold medalist and M.A. (History and Archeology), he holds a Doctorate in Music from Kamataka University. He also holds the Sangeetha Ratna, a degree in Hindustani Classical Music from Karnataka University. Dr. Havaldar is the founder president of Sunaada Art Foundation, an organization that aims to promote and preserve Indian classical music for future generations, by archiving rare recordings, organizing concerts, and promoting senior, but lesser known artistes in Hindustani music, especially from Karnataka. Over to him…
My book is called Pandit Bhimsen Joshi – Voice of the people. This is the second book in English on Pandit Bhimsen Joshi after 1984. The first one was by Mohan Nadkarni. After that book, Panditji lived for another 20 plus years and his music, personality and life all changed a lot. I have tried to document all that in this book. This is also the first ever book about Pandit Bhimsen Joshi to be written by a student from the same gharana.
Pandit Madhava Gudi, a disciple of Pandit Bhimsen Joshi was my guru. In 1985, I approached Pandit Bhimsen Joshi to learn from him. He was extremely busy in those days. I gave a personal audition and he recognised that I had all the merits to become his disciple. I had completed the Sangeetha Ratna course in Dharwad by then.
He said you can be around me but I may not be able to teach you and unfold the secret of my art because of my busy schedule. He suggested I go to his disciple Madhava Gudi who had learnt from him for 26 years by living with him.
If you want to really know the style of my gayaki, I would suggest you go to Madhava Gudi. If you want the brand name, you are welcome to be around me.
I listened to him and went to Madhava Gudi in Dharwad on his recommendation. After several years, I went back to Panditji and gave him an audition. He said, now you are my grand disciple who will carry on the mantle. Other than this met him several times. I played the tanpura as support to him in Madras Music Festival and also accompanied him on other occasions.
Performing with the legend
Pandit Bhimsen Joshi inspired me to learn music. He left an impact on my mind when I was a 6-year-old child. He had sung in Sandhya Raga, a Kannada movie. Since then, I had been hoping to learn from him.
My interactions with Pandit Bhimsen Joshi and the insight into his character that I got from Madhava Gudi persuaded me to write a book both on the person and musician that Pandit Joshi was.
My book looks beyond the glory of the musician that Pandit Joshi was and looks at the human being behind the artist. I have delved into how Bhimsen was as a student. The book is for the layperson and not just students of music.
My own impression of him is that he was a very accessible, polite and soft wonderful person. Very open and fun-loving human being who could come to your house and make himself comfortable and make others comfortable around him. He would be a roaring, larger than life musician only on stage.
For me the greatest learning has been his simplicity. He never forgot his past. He ran away from home but not everyone who runs away from home ends up as a Bharat Ratna (he received it in 2008). He had a very clear vision about what he wanted to do. He was not even tempted by film offers as he was extremely clear about his goal.
He was also open to playback singing and humble. He sang in Amol Palekar’s Ankahi and I share an instance in the book where Palekar says he was ready to go through creative anxiety because of such a legend singing but Pandit Joshi kept some conditions. The music director of the film was Jayadev. Pandit Joshi said Jayadev will be my guru for this film. He should not be overwhelmed or overshadowed by me. His other condition was that unlike a normal film recording where the sitar player, sarod player and flautist will all come separately to the recording studio to play their piece, he needed everyone together. Panditji said whomsoever you wish to involve in the recording would need to do 15 days rehearsal with him together. No cut paste job he said, like eating palya once and then eating roti and then dal once. Instead he said I shall sit down with all musicians around me and we shall do the recording.
I spoke to not just Palekar but also many eminent personalities and classical musicians who interacted with Pandit Joshi. Piyush Pandey mentioned how accessible he was while shooting and recording the national integration song Mile Sur Mera Tumhara, which begins with him. In fact, not many know this but the basic sur of the song was composed by him.
Panditji also popularised Dasavani, a genre of Haridas compositions from 16th to 18th century in Karnataka and Santavani of Marathi saints like Tukaram, Gyaneshwar & Namdev. He literally carried contemporary Hindustani classical music on his shoulder.
The book launch function
My book also delves into grey areas like his fondness for alcohol but I have tried to demolish the theory that intoxicants are needed for a great performance. Instead I have shown how he fell prey to it, got out of it and how his music prevailed. There have been many things I have learnt from him.
When I gave him my first musical audience, I sat at a hand shaking distance and sang Raag Darbari nervously. I did not sing as well as I could have. He asked me if I were nervous. He said you need to become the personification of the Raga and I did not hear that. You need to sing to your true potential, he told me, adding, do not be conscious of who is sitting in front of you. I followed what he said.
For me the book is a historical document and narration of my guru and history of the Kirana Gharana I belong to. I am a Gold medallist in History and Archaeology and that has helped me write this accurately. It is my tribute to a guru and legend.
To buy the book, contact 9448029944 or 080 26691657. The book is also available here
Padmanabha Arkalgud is one determined senior citizen. Here’s his story of how he fought for compensation from a travel agency that wronged him and finally won it with his persistance — after a six-year wait!
Six years, 25 adjournments and three consumer courts – that is the amount of time it took for 82-year-old Padmanabh Arkalgud to receive compensation from a popular Indian travel agency he filed a case against.
In 2012, Arkalgud travelled with Kesari Travels to Kenya, South Africa and Zimbabwe on a 15 day tour. He had earlier travelled with them to China and the experience had been pleasant. In fact, he makes it a point to tell us how helpful the representative from Kesari was on that trip. However, he faced both negligence and harassment from the company representative during the Africa tour.
The senior citizen had paid extra for facilities such as single occupancy and front seat in the bus or van during travel. However, he was asked to sit at the back seat and later on a seat directly above the wheel, leading to a tailbone injury inflicted by the bumpy, non-asphalted roads. On his return to India, he was hospitalised and underwent physiotherapy to deal with the injury. He now needs to carry an inflated ring cushion wherever he goes and adds that he finds it “embarrassing.”
Arkalgud’s account of his treatment by the travel agency representative during the trip shows the callous and indifferent attitude many service providers employ towards senior citizens, a segment where a little care and sensitivity could go towards earning immense goodwill.
During the trip, not only was Arkalgud denied a seat towards the front of the bus or van despite paying extra and after repeated requests (which were eventually accommodated by the courteous African tour guide and bus driver and not the travel agency representative), he was also allocated a hotel room on the upper floor. “Without an elevator it was difficult for me, a senior citizen, to carry my luggage upstairs and when I complained to the representative, he did not offer any help.” Instead, the resourceful senior citizen spoke to the hotel authorities, explained his predicament and arranged a ground floor room for himself.
Arkalgud (right) during an event
After his return to India and hospitalisation, Arkalgud sent a detailed complaint to Kesari Travels but received no response. Not one to give up when he had been wronged, he filed a case at the District Consumer Court in July 2012. When his case was dismissed after two years he filed an appeal at the State Consumer Forum and won. Kesari Travels contested that through the National Consumer Disputes Redressal Commission (NCDRC) but the verdict was delivered in Arkalgud’s favour. By this time it was July 2018.
Arkalgud had won the case but the hurdles didn’t go away. Despite the verdict, the compensation amount of Rs 2,10,000 that according to the judgement could have been withdrawn wasn’t sent to him. “I wrote to the registar of NCDRC six times and after receiving no response, wrote to the judge herself.” When he received no response there either, Arkalgud wrote to National Human Rights Commission Delhi and got an acknowledgement within two days. “One week later the money was sent to me.”
While six years might seem a long time to wait, Arkalgud feels consumers should not shy away from approaching the court even if the process can be long drawn.
“I was demanding basic facilities I was entitled to during the trip and wanted to take up the matter not just for myself but also for other consumers who have not been treated well by service providers,” he told Silver Talkies, adding that service providers often short-change customers and then try to tire them out when they complain by making the redressal process harder. When he saw the number of complaints against the travel agency online, he decided to take the matter up and follow it through.
Arkalgud is no stranger to persistance. In 2017, he obtained a Khata (a (a property document needed to pay property tax) for his son’s property without paying a bribe. But the process took three months and numerous visits, calls and emails to the concerned officials. In the process, the senior citizen appraised the government officials about the issue and also managed to get documents of other applicants released.
This enterprising senior is also no stranger to travel. He has journeyed to Antarctica and more recently, North Korea, among several oither places across the world. He is an active believer and advocate of human rights and just causes and often visits various schools and organizations talking about his travels to remote parts of the world.
Does he have a message for senior citizens who wished to approach the consumer court? He says people must if they have been wronged. “You can argue your own case. What one should have is persistence and conviction,” he says. He certainly has those qualities in admirable measure.
Mr Arkalgud is happy to share his Consumer Court experience and insights. You can write to him on: padmanabha.arkalgud@gmail.com
Growing old is mandatory but growing morose is totally optional. Here are myriad ways to fashion your own rainbow of happiness with things that interest you.
There was a time when I had to make an appointment with my mother.
Busy with her ladies’ club meet, reading for the blind, Tanjore painting, besides socializing with relatives and friends. She also became a Tupperware agent and chased potential buyers! Like the ‘worker ant,’ she kept herself busy until her sickness paid put to her busyness. All this new-found learning was only after we all flew the nest. My parents did enjoy traveling but once back at home in Chennai, my mother’s basket of activities was full. My father being a voracious reader liked nothing better than warming the sofa with a book and tea!
“Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible poverty,” said Mother Teresa. For the majority of us, the hobbies, sports or creative outlet that we enjoyed during our youth have fallen by the side during the busiest period of our lives and we are ill-prepared for the phase where we cease to walk the tightrope balancing a career, child-rearing and other responsibilities.
Padmini Natrajan is ‘living it up’ in senior citizens retirement complex, in Bangalore. “Age is the number of breaths that you have inhaled and exhaled and the number of breaths left in your account of life,” says this versatile lady who is about to be a septuagenarian.
“For me each breath is an achievement, I am an asthmatic you see! In my semi- retirement, I continue to be tied to the gas stove and cooker. Yet, today I am entangled in a glorious rainbow of colours. I have gone back to knitting and crochet and the creativity that is associated with the making of a garment is truly inspirational. I sometimes get up in the night to work at my needles and enjoy the total silence that pervades in my senior citizen community. My life is busy with so many other strands of activity, be it spiritual, cerebral, social and emotional.”
Growing old is mandatory but growing morose is totally optional.
Many of us are in that phase of life where we want to do something and yet are clueless about the solutions.
What If We Told Stories?
“When Manoj Kabre of ‘CaN” story telling cloud approached me to conduct story telling sessions over Skype, I was hesitant mainly because technology eluded me. Having always been associated with children in the scope of conducting classes on Bhagvad Geetha, teaching dance, the art of storytelling was not new to me, yet the idea of using Skype was daunting,” reminisces Shanti Krishnan who is now the most popular storyteller in the group. CaN Trust.org, the brain child of Kabre, conducts story telling over Skype to underprivileged children in Tamil Nadu, Telangana and Karnataka with the help of volunteers. “I find myself fulfilled, satisfied and a sense of achievement pervades me as I take sessions from the comfort of my home twice a week,” Krishnan signs off.
Interested? Visit www.cantrust.org.in or write to Kabre on manojkabre@gmail.com to try story telling from home.
Want to help out at Banjara’s Helping Hand?
In the land of rampant illiteracy and lack of awareness, volunteers at Banjara Academy’s Helping Hand (HH) program offer their services at various hospitals. “Volunteers can spend as much time as they would like to. They would be involved in filling out forms or directing the patients to concerned departments or doctors. Some of the hospital encourages the HH team to speak to patients or caregivers and offer emotional support. The best part of being a volunteer is you can spend the time between your breakfast and lunch spreading joy and feeling joyful as any kind of help is sure to leave you with a warm feeling. The HH team is only growing into one big family,” Purnima Ganesh, Director, Banjara Academy and Co-ordinator, Helping Hands, signs off.
Drop in at Banjara Centre RT Nagar Bangalore or write to banjarahhvolunteers@gmail.com, if you would like to volunteer.
Helping Hand at Baptist Hospital
Join a knitting Group in Chennai
A group of friends in Chennai meet regularly to knit and chat away a wholly enjoyable afternoon once a week. The clicking of the knitting needles does not drown away the learning that takes place amidst the chatter. Recently, they have started learning the art of quilting.
“If my aunt at 95 can make pickles, vadams, sweaters for other members of assisted living, why can’t I at a mere 74?” queries Rajam Subramanian on the penultimate evening of her flying way to spend her time with her children in US.
Social Media has been extremely helpful in creating groups wherein people of similar interests can have meet-ups to form a team of like-minded souls. It is a great way to stave off the ennui and boredom that sets in.
Octogenarian N Ramani from Chennai has been collecting sample medicines from busy doctors, sorting them out and delivering these at places where these medicines would make a whole lot of difference. He has been doing this for two decades now and acknowledged and awarded for this yeoman’s services by various organizations in Chennai. “This honorary service keeps me young,” says this do-gooder.
Suchitra Kaul Misra, president of ALL, Bangalore Chapter, believes that, “women have an innate capacity to rejuvenate themselves and others. It becomes a lot easier if you keep company with those who uplift you. Then you not only experience success but deep fulfillment.” ALL supports women by empowering them through networking and involving them in various activities based on interest. Interested women can contact suchitra.kaulmisra@gmail.com to join.
Be it traveling as a group or trying their hand at theater; be it starting a music group or teaching Shlokas for children, the world is yours to conquer in the older years.
Are you a senior citizen who loves travelling? Here’s a short but definitive guide to travelling in Copenhagen, from who else but another travel crazy senior!
Copenhagen is the capital and most populous city of Denmark, one of the five Nordic countries and one with a lot to see. There are over 90 sights worth seeing, including churches, cathedrals, canal-ride, castles, museums and breweries. While the choice of sights and sounds is wide, that of hotel, time, transport and capacity to walk is of essence. Visitors usually take in four sights a day but a choice of ‘which sights’ poses a dilemma.
Being a retired 77-year-old soldier, whom the travel bug bites regularly, I was greedy and visited more than 10 sites on the two days I stayed, as I had decided to walk, my arthritic knees not withstanding! I travelled alone to four Scandinavian countries; so rest assured, any senior can do it!
Here are some guidelines for travelling alone as a senior in Copenhagen:
• Check opening hours: Different places have different opening and closing days/timings as well as last entry time. So, check ahead online and plan before stepping out.
• Well-located hotel: Choose a hotel either close to the airport or city-centre, as both are well connected by all forms of transport. Walking around also becomes easier as most are within one or two km of the sights. I had chosen a hotel in Kastrplundgade, with a Metro station as well as a bus- stop for many destinations within 200-300 m.
• Save on necessities: 24 hour hot and cold water of drinking purity is available in the bathrooms and shower taps. But a sealed bottle of water costs almost Rs 80 for half-litre. So carry your own empty pet bottles and thermos of coffee/tea rations.
• Invest in a City Card: To get the maximum value for money, buy a Copenhagen Card, which can be pre-booked for 24/48/72/120 hours, paid for online (54/77/93/121€) and collected at many centres including the arrival hall at the airport. It allows free entry to over 86 attractions, besides any and every mode of state-run transport: boat, bus, metro, DSB express; Netto Boat Tours are covered too.
• Staying Connected: WiFi is free everywhere. Still carry a mobile with data pack or take a local SIM which works economical for calls to India. Most signages are in local language(s); so read up from here and save in your mobile.
*Getting Around: Transport is plentiful with Trains, Express trains, Bus and Boats and the Metro. One will need to commute many times so it is better to buy a Transport Pass in advance at concessional rates for the number visiting days. For seniors above 67 years, 50% concession is available; check first and then buy. Without a pass, you will need to pay in local currency and it is very expensive. Avoid cabs as they are prohibitively expensive.
How To Be A Tourist In Copenhagen
Round Tower: This oldest (17th century) functioning observatory in Europe was built by Christian-IV during the heydey of its astronomy. Today only amateur astronomers use it. Only 36m tall it needs 210m climb through a spiral staircase. A recent addition is a Glass Floor projection at 25m above ground; not for those with vertigo. Free on the Copenhagen Card.
City Hall and Tower: One of the tallest buildings in the whole of Copenhagen at 106m, the City Hall Tower gives a magnificent view of the inner city and the extent of Tivoli Gardens from above. Both the Hall and Tower are free on Copenhagen Card. City Hall area has more budget-friendly shops than Strøget.
Strøget (pronounced ‘stroyet’): This is Europe’s longest pedestrian-only street at 1.1 km where you can buy both budget-friendly items and expensive brands. While walking along Strøget, do watch out for the side-streets to peep at many beautiful sights. It is also a place where street-performers exhibit acrobatics, magic and music.
Tivoli Gardens: Founded in 1843, it is an amusement park that has something for everyone, young and old alike: architecture, historic old buildings and gardens with greenery. The coloured lights switched on in the late evening create a fairytale atmosphere, which is why probably Anderson and Walt Disney visited it many times. There are restaurants and bars, thrill-rides, betting games, roller coasters and more.
Grundtvig’s Church: Built in memory of the Danish priest and reformer, the eponymous church is a sublime architectural marvel and a rare example of Expressionis’ architecture. It is famous due to its distinctive appearance resembling a church organ, unlike any other church and for its location in a residential area. Admission is free.
Holmen Church (Holmens Kirke): A parish church in central Copenhagen on Holmens Kanal, built by Christian-IV for naval personnel on 05 Sep 1619, on a former anchor-forge. It is of Renaissance architecture. Its oak coloured pulpit is the oldest preserved one, since 1662 and richly decorated. Despite bombardments and two fires in 16th to 18th Centuries, it still retains its original shape
Canal Tours: Hourly tours for 60 minutes start from both boat points: one near Holmens Church and the other from Nyhavn; the rides are free on Copenhagen Card.
Nyhavn: Originally, a busy commercial port for ships from all over the world since 1673 (with attendant vices and pleasures), today it has many kiosks/vans and restaurants lining the street on renovated buildings.
Roskilde Cathedral (Roskilde Domkirke): Located in Roskilde, a former capital of Denmark in 960 AD, this Lutheran Church is about 25 minutes by NSB express trains from Copenhagen Central, followed by a pleasant 10 minutes walk. Open from 10am to 6 pm, it is on the UNESCO Heritage list. It is the first Gothic cathedral to be built of red bricks circa 1170s and with tall spires.
Visit Carlsberg: Free on Copenhagen Card, this Beer Museum shows you the evolution of beer from 4000BC and of Carlsberg Brewery. Don’t forget to enjoy one of the continuous 15? Horse carriage rides (12-2) which will show iconic buildings that have shaped the development of Carlsberg District for more than 100 years.
The Little Mermaid: This sculpture in Copenhagen harbour turned 105 on August 2018. Sketched in Hans Christian Andersen’s fairy tale, the mermaid after falling in love with a young, handsome prince on land gives up everything to be united with him. Inspired by her character after seeing a ballet by Ellen Price, a ballerina in 1909, Carl Jacobsen of Carlsberg Brewery had gifted it to Copenhagen Harbour. But Ellen Price wouldn’t model in the nude; so the sculptor, Edvard Eriksen used his wife Eline. The statue is made of bronze and granite and the folklore is that she surfaces every morning and evening after swimming in the sea, to perch on that rock with a longing look for her prince.
With that my two days came to a close in Copenhagen and I moved to Oslo, the next day.
There are nearly 103 million senior citizens in India with the population expected to grow to 300 million by 2050. The country itself is rapidly undergoing change in terms of technology, cultural and social changes. Here’s an expert look at how is life for senior citizens in a rapidly changing India.
Economic and Social Policies for Seniors
We already have economic and social policies to tackle issues related to the elderly. The National Policy on Older Persons, the Integrated Program for Older Persons mentions national and state level economic and social schemes for older persons.
The critical issue is how far these schemes are being implemented. A study on social security by Tata Institute kof Social Sciences showed that although 40 per cent of the elderly were aware of the concessions for train travel, only nine per cent availed of them. Thirty-Seven per cent of the elderly were aware of the bus reservation in seats for the elderly but only eight per cent availed of the facility.
One of the key things that the Integrated Program on Older Persons mentions is the need to bring older people and children together. For this purpose, organizations like Ashwamedh Senior Citizens Division in collaboration with Bombay Community Public Trust and Technova, reached out to around 4500 children to sensitize them towards senior citizens. They conducted sessions with children in their classrooms conveying the message that all of us are going to be old someday and hence we need to be sensitive towards older persons. It became quite clear that children have a lot of myths and stereotypes about older persons which, if not challenged or discussed could lead to increasing gap amongst generations.
Does Urban India View Ageing Differently Now
Earlier, retirement was seen as a time when the person had reached the end of an active life. There is this realization now that a person has at least around 20 to 30 years of active life after retirement, so this vacuum needs to be filled. Through my sessions with seniors, I have found that seniors are more open to take in new ideas regarding this. They want to contribute to the society in some way but do not know how to do it. Hence, some volunteering or paid avenues need to be made available for senior citizens where they can not only contribute their rich experience, but also feel useful.
It is commonly seen that people want to remain young or they don’t want to stop their usual activities just because they are old. The popular notion is that ‘We are young at heart’. But the question is, why not acknowledge your age, why is there a need to be young in the first place? This also means that more importance is given to being young or youth is more favoured.
Mindset shift in seniors about learning and experiencing new things
Health, fitness and longer lifespans have overturned old stereotypes of age.
The old structures of expectations and responsibilities are crumbling. According to sociologist Mala Kapur Shankardass, this is the consequence of the rise of individualism.
Individual choices are becoming as important as societal expectations. People are trying out new things with courage and confidence without getting inhibited by societal expectations and pressures.
Take the case of Bokul Chatterjee of Kolkata. She gave her first year BA examination at the age of 86 despite numerous health issues. I know an elderly ex-Alumni member of the Social Work course for Senior Citizens who is volunteering for SOSVA (an NGO) and teaching classical dance to slum kids. She said she feels the need to do something constructive with her time.
Silver Talkies features several older people who are putting their post-retirement years to good use, either by helping others or exploring a new skill. Here’s Charles Narayanan who teaches underpriviledged students in his neighbourhood & a group of seniors in Chennai keeping the golden era of Hindi film music alive.
Focusing on a second innings
There are instances of people starting or flourishing in their second careers in newspaper magazines and articles. There are also instances where people whose experience and knowledge are highly valued are retained by the companies where they were employed. But it is still difficult to find older people initiating second careers. There are older people in Mumbai who are extremely involved in running senior citizens associations, but in terms of actively beginning second careers, you hardly encounter any.
When I conduct sessions on ‘Successful Aging’ and convey the message that it is important to have a purpose in life, people are generally enthusiastic about doing something for the society. But I have seen that this enthusiasm is short-lived and when they were informed about actual opportunities to do paid or volunteer work, they back off. So, unless seniors are willing to work consistently, it is difficult to find work opportunities.
Working with seniors can have several advantages. I used to work in a small financial services firm of only seven people, where the owner had employed senior citizens. When I asked him the reason, he pointed out three. First was they being very sincere and thorough in their work, second was that they rarely took a holiday as they were really interested in the work that they were doing and the third was that they kept the office atmosphere light and cheerful.
Government schemes for senior citizens
Government schemes are not very known and the middle class elderly senior citizens do not use them. It is mostly the lower-class elderly and people from the rural areas who utilize these schemes. If they are to know about the schemes, then information booklets and pamphlets need to be published in regional languages. There is an elderly person Mansukhlal Ruparelia, residing in Mira Road in Palghar district who has made it his life’s mission to spread information about Government schemes and programs after retiring from Indian Railways as Joint Director.
The Government also needs to network with organizations and practitioners who work with seniors to actually understand the ground reality and inform them about policies and programs for seniors.
Daily Challenges Seniors Face
In the UK for people who are living alone, there are home care services which include personal care, shopping, cleaning and also accompanying the person for outside visits if required. These services are provided by the UK Government through home care assistants who are trained in eldercare. This helps in keeping more and more older people in their own homes rather than sending them to old age homes.
We neither have social security nor do have services for older people. It is still considered to be a family responsibility. But now with the changing scenario, it needs to be acknowledged that children are not in a position to help or assist their elderly parents and in some cases, older people themselves do not want any help and wish to remain independent. So, services need to be put in place by Government and the voluntary sectors for aging-in-place.
The National Policy on Older Persons 2011 mentions regarding promoting the concept of ‘aging-in-place’ and ageing in own home and also home care services.
In terms of commuting, it can be seen that most senior citizens who are middle old (between the ages of 75 to 85) try to avoid commuting by public transport due to crowding, enervating staircases and over bridges. Only seven seats are reserved for seniors in Mumbai local trains. Seniors find it difficult to book taxi services like Ola, Uber if they are not mobile savvy. Although the new Policy on Senior Citizens talks about productive ageing and creating continuity in current employment and post-retirement opportunities, the Government has hardly taken any steps in this direction.
So despite the changes in our social environment and senior’s own mindset, the challenges still remain.
Featured image used for representative purposes only
Cookbooks can bring back memories, make you discover long forgotten tastes and explore cuisines from around the country and beyond. Here are five books by senior cookbook authors you must not miss!
When I feel like a taste of home and a whiff of my mother’s cooking, I turn to a well-thumbed cookbook — Rannar Boi by the famous Bengali author, Leela Majumdar and Kamala Chattopadhyay. It’s been an iconic book of recipes and candid instructions (she does a great no-fuss kid’s party prep section even mothers of this generation will appreciate) for many generations of Bengali women, after publication in 1979 and has seen many reprints since. Trying out some of the recipes takes me back to my childhood days because there were many Sundays in the 80s when my mother tried many of these those out too. “Did she tweak the Mutton Brown Stew recipe like I’m doing or did she follow it to the T?” I wonder, before calling up ma to confirm. She laughs, “It was such a long time ago, I don’t really remember but I probably followed it word for word.” Ma, unlike me is a stickler for rules. Little wonder that her stew would turn out way better than mine does, if the memory that hides in the tastebuds serves me right.
Memories of food are said to invoke all our five senses and, in many ways, hold some of our fondest recollections. While some of us lucky enough to have handwritten recipes passed down by grandmothers and other older women at home, other not too lucky ones have their cookbooks. Luckily for us, several senior women have jotted down their experiments in the kitchen, the recipes unique to their family or culture and shared it in cookbooks. In fact, some of these are mother-daughter collaborations and some came about because the authors were persuaded by who else, their daughters, to jot their memories down. Here are five books by senior cookbook authors you must not miss.
The Lucknow Cookbook by Chand Sur & Sunita Kohli
The culture of Lucknow is a melting pot of influences. Much is written and heard about the Lucknawi ‘Ganga-Jamuni tehzeeb’ and the saying goes that nowhere is it better represented than in its food, a melting pot of many cultures. This cookbook brings some of those aromas and tastes alive with mouthwatering recipes like Gilawat ke Kebab, Dabi Arbi Ka Salan, Kairi Ka Do Pyaza and Sheer Korma. Chand Sur was born in 1925 in Bahawalpur, undivided Punjab and brought up in Quetta. She has been described as an inventive cook who places great emphasis on nutritious and healthy meals. Her lunch, dinner and tea parties are supposed to be legendary. This book was written with her daughter, the architect Sunita Kohli and is a great spread of culture, history and some wonderful recipes.
Buy it here:
Tiffin by Rukmini Srinivas
Tiffin by Rukmini Srinivas is a food memoir with a rich tapestry of vegetarian food and of the times gone by. Rukmini was in the habit of sending her daughters living in the United States “easy” recipes of snacks to make at home and as she shared them, she “recalled the many anecdotes and narratives about the people and places associated with these recipes,” which she passed on to them along with the recipes. Happy to read the anecdotes, the daughters urged her “to share them with a wider audience.” That is how this book was born, weaving the anecdotes into the recipes in such a way that every set of recipes is preceded by an anecdote in which a reference to the dish or dishes in question occurs in some way or the other. The recipes are vegetarian (with helpful English translations of ingredients) and reflect the author’s stay in various parts of India. Find it here:
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A Kitchen Full of Stories by Ummi Abdullah
One of the biggest names in Malabar cuisine, Ummi Abdullah’s expertise has been sought by five star hotel kitchens and homemakers alike. She has written several cookbooks, all of them successful.
A Kitchen Full Of Stories is special because it is a collaboration between a grandmother and granddaughter. A limited edition coffee table book put together by Nazaneen Jalaludheen, Ummi’s granddaughter, it is peppered with recipes of traditional Mappila fare along with tips and tricks from Ummi’s own kitchen and her childhood memories. A Kitchen Full Of Stories is an endeavour to preserve the rich culinary heritage of the Malabar region.
Find it here: https://ummiscorner.com/
Pure And Simple: Homemade Indian Vegetarian Cuisine by Vidhu Mittal
One of our eternal favourites, Mittal’s beautifully produced book on simple vegetarian cooking will make it easy for even the most novice amongst us to enter the kitchen and produce something tasty. Vidhu Mittal was interested in cooking even as a child. Her mother was an excellent cook and cooking soon turned into a hobby and then a lifelong passion for Mittal. Her two books –Pure And Simple: Homemade Indian Vegetarian Cuisine and Pure And Special: Gourmet Indian Vegetarian Cuisine reflect her love for good food. Pure And Simple has been a winner in the Best Easy Recipes category at the Gourmand World Cookbook Awards in 2009. Pure & Special, released in 2014, is noteworthy for its fusion style recipes, with even the humble Matar Paneer (Paneer in peas gravy) getting a French twist!
Before her cookbook author avatar, Mittal was a popular name in Bangalore for her cooking classes, which taught students everything from basic dals to exotic salads, with students ranging from 9 years to 60 years. You can find her book here:
Anglo-Indian Cuisine – A Legacy by Bridget White Kumar
Bridget White Kumar, 64, is a well known culinary consultant, cookbook author and most importantly, a custodian and researcher of Anglo-Indian cuisine. Her signature book, Anglo-Indian Cuisine – A Legacy, won the Gourmand Cook Award 2012 in the Best Culinary History Book in India category. “This prestigious Award is considered the Oscars for cookbook writers,” says Kumar, whose expertise has also seen her train chefs from some of the best hotels in Bangalore, Chennai and other cities. She conducts cooking workshops and demonstrations at hotels, restaurants and different groups and is always ready to share her passion with others. Find her here:
Loneliness and isolation can lead to depression among senior citizens, who are worried about maintaining their social life, finds new survey.
A recent study on senior citizens threw up some startling facts. If you thought health was the topmost concern in the minds of most elderly, the survey revealed otherwise.
According to the survey, most elderly people in the country are worried about maintaining their social life and meeting their everyday needs, while physical health is a major concern for only 10 per cent of them. Titled Jug Jug Jiyenge, the survey was conducted by IVH SeniorCare, in partnership with Wellness Health and You (Age Friendly India). It included a gender-mixed sample size of 1,000 senior citizens each from Delhi-NCR, Punjab, Haryana, Chandigarh, Uttar Pradesh, Maharashtra, Andhra Pradesh, West Bengal and Karnataka and their children who have been living away from them for at least five years in all parts of the world. According to PTI, the survey was conducted to understand the perspective of elderly people and their children on the needs of the elders living alone.
The survey highlighted how children often failed to understand the needs of their elderly parents. 67 per cent of the children living away mentioned that the health of their parents is the primary concern and only 18 per cent were worried about their parent’s social life and everyday needs.
Their parents thought otherwise.
Contrary to what the children thought, the survey stated that 36.4 per cent of the elderly were worried about maintaining their social life and 25.6 per cent struggled for their daily needs.
“The disparity in the thinking of the children living away from home and their elderly parents raises many red flags. While the children are right to worry about the physical health of their elderly parents, the parents’ key concerns about missing out on social life and difficulty in meeting their everyday needs highlight the underlying mental health issues. The children fail to understand that health is not merely the physical health. Instead, it is a state of physical and mental wellbeing. Living a socially secluded life in the absence of their children often predisposes the elders to a feeling of loneliness, which can later transform into depression,” says Dr G S Grewal, elder-care specialist, Max Hospital and chairman, Wellness Health and You.
He isn’t far off the mark.
The results of the survey come at a time when loneliness is increasingly becoming a risk factor for depression among elders in India, according to a Study of loneliness, depression and coping mechanisms in elderly by Dept. of Psychiatry, Topiwala National Medical College and BYL Nair Charitable Hospital Mumbai. The study also found that coping mechanisms used affected loneliness and depression significantly. Dr Alka A Subramanyam, Associate Professor of Psychiatry, BYL Nair Charitable Hospital Mumbai and one of the authors of the study says, “it is important to take measures to see that loneliness is abated by preventive measures.”
We asked Dr Subramanyam what some of those preventive measures could be and this is what she had to say. “Healthy lifestyle, social networking by meeting people and not just on the phone and some amount of spirituality helps.”
For seniors who may have mobility as an issue, Dr Subramanyam says even technology can come to their aid with options like video calling, where they can stay in touch with family and friends and make their interactions more personal. She also feels that senior citizens groups can help older people combat isolation by giving them connections to talk to.
Seniors who are not mobile and may not be able to attend all group meetings or activities can also benefit from these too. Most of these senior clubs have their own WhatsApp chat groups and it’s a good way to stay in touch with others.
Meena Vohra, a sculptor who runs a Noida based group for seniors called Humjoli says: They also play games and celebrate festivals with gusto. In fact, they celebrated Baisakhi recently with some of the members even performing a traditional dance! “There are people who have nobody to talk to and for them these are wonderful opportunities,” Mrs Vohra points out. The Whatsapp group helps to keep the members connected with each others’ lives, happenings and problems if any at other times. “If anybody has to go to the hospital, someone is there to accompany them. Help is available for everyone.”
Dr Subramanyam thinks that families need to be alert towards the needs of seniors staying alone and see if they are feeling isolated. “Not communicating or responding are some signs of withdrawal or cognitive decline,” she adds.
In other words, families with elders in them need to be more clued in, whether they live with them or not.
“The most surprising finding (of the Jug Jug Jiyenge survey) was that adults who need to socialise or indulge in some recreational activity after five days of work a week could not imagine their parents socialising. Ninety-six per cent of the children imagined their parents to be homebound. However, 79 per cent of the senior citizens want to be out of home, socialising with friends and relatives. The introduction of the nuclear family structure and migration of children have further substantiated the feeling. It is important that children engage in regular conversations with their parents to have an insight into their needs, rather than just relying on assumptions,” says Swadeep Srivastava, founder and chief belief officer, IVH SeniorCare.
Surveys like this again show the importance of social engagement activities for senior citizens, an area that Silver Talkies tries to fulfil with our exclusive clubs for seniors like Silver Talkies Social & Silver Talkies Adda, where seniors can meet other like minded people, have events and activities tailormade for them and most importantly make friends and find social companionship.
Learning something new could be a great way to stay connected and active
Here are some things you can do to ensure the older person in your life can fulfil their social needs and stay connected and happy:
• If you live in a different city or country or are unable to meet your elderly loved one everyday even if in the same location, take the help of technology. Teach them how to do a video call. You can try Skype, FaceTime or try Whatsapp video. “I look forward to a video call from my grandson in Pune every evening. He keeps talking as he does his homework or has his dinner and for me and my wife, it’s a huge mood lifter,” sayts UR Jain, 82, Delhi.
• Get them a membership to a senior citizens club or senior citizens activity group in your city. While they may be reluctant to pay for a social engagement club membership themselves, it would be welcome (and possibly used) as a gift from a child or relative. Read how you can gift your parents or loved ones a Silver Talkies Social membership.
• If mobility is an issue but your elder loved ones enjoy going out and meeting friends or attending events and workshops that expand their horizons, you can use technology to your aid again and teach them how to use Ola or Uber. If they do not own smartphones, you can do it for them too. Sarita Pandit lives in Pune and uses her Ola app to book rides for her mother who lives alone in Delhi. “It takes a little bit of coordination, that’s all. But it’s scant headache compared to my mother not stepping out anywhere. She goes everywhere from visiting relatives to window shopping in malls. I recently sent her off to watch a movie. I booked everything online, from the tickets to the cabs back and forth.”
• Encourage your elderly loved ones to learn something new. It is a known fact that learning a new language can help prevent the onset of Dementia. If language isn’t their forte, how about trying their hand at theatre or a craft workshop, a photography session or even ballroom dance?
*Check out our events if your loved one lives in Bangalore.
Featured image: The image above shows members of Silver Talkies on a Dussera Dolls Walk
If you are above 55, have varied interests and look forward to meeting like-minded people, it’s time to get Social! Join SILVER TALKIES SOCIAL, our exclusive club for 55+.
Silver Talkies is for anyone who is 55+. We curate events, classes, and workshops for older adults. We also bring to you interesting and useful reads from our digital magazine www.silvertalkies.com
We have a club for members called Silver Talkies Social. You can join us from any city!
WHO CAN JOIN AS A MEMBER?
Since the lockdown, we have moved all our events and interactions online. And the best part of going online is that now seniors from across India and the world can sign up as a member and be a part of our inner circle
If you are 55+, you can join us from any city!
WHAT BENEFITS DO MEMBERS ENJOY?
MEMBER BENEFITS INCLUDE
-Exclusive member meet-ups – bi-monthly
-Exclusive discounted member pricing at our paid classes and workshops
-Preferred access or a Golden pass to all our events
-Access to a volunteer support program
-Be part of social change via volunteering opportunities with leading NGOs
-Be part of clubs by interest viz. gardening, reiki and more
-Exclusive opportunities to be part of performances, showcases, and access to all the fun agenda
-Access to experts and the entire senior care ecosystem via Silver Talkies network
-And most importantly access to a network of like-minded individuals with opportunities to bond and make new friends.
HOW MUCH IS THE MEMBERSHIP?
The annual membership will cost you just Rs.2500 per person and Rs. 4500 per couple
HOW LONG IS THE MEMBERSHIP VALID FOR?
Your annual membership is valid for a year from the date of joining and is to be renewed every year.
For eg: If you join in Feb 2020, your membership will be valid until Jan 2021 and due for renewal in Feb 2021
Do fill out this form if you wish to become a member, and we will connect with you
https://forms.gle/vRrXWTtVocMsRoJS6
CAN’T WAIT! HOW DO I SIGN UP?
Write to us at connect@silvertalkies.com and we will reach out to you and get you into our club with the least formality drills.
In a coming together of generations, the young people at Citizens Archive of India are archiving memories of people who lived through the pre-independence years and were witness to the milestones in the nation?s history.
Mr Khushroo Coorwala?s father was the Nizam?s doctor. One day when the driver bunked work, Mr Coorlawala drove his father, Rustom to work. Without a license of course. He was only 13 or 14 and had learnt from the driver. The Nizam, a close friend of the doctor, would have none of it. He asked for the boy, called the police commissioner and asked him to make him a license! The story doesn?t stop there. Inspired by the Nizam?s ?generous act,? Dr Rustom?s friends went on to bestow other gifts on his young son ? including, yes you are reading this right, a Morris Minor and a pony!
Narrated by the 100-year-old Mithoo Coorlawala, the story would be hard to find in any history book and is a reflection of a different princely India.
Mithoo Coorlawala, 100, attended Newnham College at the University Of Cambridge from 1938-1939. Back then, they didn?t give degrees to women. This is a photograph of Mrs. Coorlawala on the day of her convocation ceremony in 1998, 60 years after she first attended Cambridge. To read the interesting story behind this picture, click here
In yet another video, Pramodini Narulkar of Mumbai shares how she spent August 15, 1947, celebrating with the other girls at home, who, unlike the boys, weren?t allowed to go out and celebrate. Mrs. Narulkar lived close to Gandhiji?s residence Mani Bhavan but mentions that on that day, all the celebration was at Gowalia Tank Maidan.
And then there is Arun Bhatia, 83, who lived on Marine Drive and was part of the ??Quit India Movement.? His best memory of it? The burning of an effigy of Winston Churchill. The 7-year-old Bhatia did not know who Churchill was at that time but the prospect of playing with matches, under full adult supervision and approval was too good to resist.
History is always much more than what is taught in schoolbooks and the Citizen?s Archive of India project is doing just that through oral interviews with people who lived through the pre-independence years and were witness to the milestones in the nation?s history.
Founded by Rohan Parikh and helmed by Malvika Bhatia, CAI?s current effort, The Generation 1947 Project, aims to record and archive the personal stories of Indian citizens who have witnessed life in pre-independent India, as well as the years after independence. The project has also been inspired by the 10 year old initiative, Citizen?s Archive of Pakistan, a non-profit working towards cultural and historic preservation.
Bhatia, who comes from a family with enough stories herself, is an accidental archivist, though with related education and experience. She has an MA in Heritage Education and Interpretation and has earlier worked in the field of museum and heritage education, including creating audio guides for historical monuments.
Memories around 1947 can sometime focus only on partition, which, even if the largest mass displacement of the 20th century, was not the only way life unfolded for many. CAI?s initiative shows us how very differently life unfolded in an earlier India.
Lt. Rama Mehta during her training in the Rani Jhansi Regiment of the Azad Hind Fauj.
CAI?S project is done through in person interviews. The project also goes beyond just politics and seeks to record how times have changed through stories about people?s personal lives, their social interactions and the environment they grew up in.
Working for CAI has been an education in itself for Bhatia, who has kept an open mind through it all and says, ?I have learnt to be patient and leave my prejudices behind.? Bhatia conducts her interviews in Mumbai at the moment and the project has been a real eye-opener. It has helped her see that there isn?t one single interpretation of history.
She also meets people who belonged to prosperous business families that owed their wealth to the British. Her own family has an example of that. ?My great-grandfather was a freedom fighter and his business family wasn?t very happy about it.?
?A big part of my job is to make people comfortable in their own home. I ask some basic questions to get them started and we make conversation,? Says Bhatia.
Some stories touch upon partition, some don?t. People sometimes get nostalgic, sharing memories with the CAI team that their family members or the person who nominated them hasn?t heard before. What Bhatia always admires is the perspective she gets. ?These are the people who saw 1947 happen. Their stories tell us that Indian history is not just made of Nehru, Gandhi, Jinnah.?
CAI aims to create an archive that is freely available to the public. ?We would love to get out of Mumbai and speak to people,? says Bhatia, adding that they are seeking donors and funding for the same. The project is also a way to bridge the generation gap as Bhatia asks people to nominate their grandparents to share their stories. There is a reason why it?s important to document these stories now, agrees Bhatia. ?In a few years, many of these stories will be lost to us forever. Eyewitness accounts and personal experiences form a large part of a nation?s history, that is important to record and archive for future generation. This is the history that finds no place in our schoolbooks.
To know more, donate or contribute, contact: http://citizensarchiveofindia.org/
Featured image: Malvika Bhatia interviewing Mr Ivan Alva
All photographs: CAI
In our new series called Chai Stories, a tea planter’s wife writes about her memories of two tea garden employees – the cook, known as Burra Bungalow Bawarchi, and the skilled carpenter, called Biren Mistri. When they declared they were at war, how could she take sides?!
We lost two really good craftsmen in Moraghat Tea Estate in the same year. One was Bawarchi, the Burra Bungalow cook (his name was Lakshman Singh Pradhan but everybody always called him ‘Bawarchi’). The other was the garden carpenter, the ‘Kath Mistri’, Biren Sarkar. Each of these men could be described as a ‘character’ in his own right. Each one had a strong sense of tradition and of his place in it.
The tea estate bungalow where the two employees went to war.
Burra Bungalow Bawarchi
Bawarchi was one of a kind. He was already a very old and frail man when we moved to Moraghat. At the beginning of every cold weather, he would announce that he was going to die. The poor old man would arrive at work early in the morning, hunched up and shivering. He’d go home for his breakfast and bath and come back at around eleven o’clock, now walking straight, and actually looking younger. We would ask him if he was himself or a younger brother. He’d give us his trademark crooked grin in reply.
Bawarchi’s shopping lists were unique. He had a strong sense of loyalty to the old British sahibs and his idea of ‘essentials’ seemed to be based on a longing for those bygone days. At the top of the list, I’d find, not rice, sugar, atta and so on, but corn flour, Worcester sauce, beans and carrots. He once told me he’d liked the way the British sahibs would eat potatoes with their meat instead of eating rice or chapattis.
Bawarchi was old, but he cooked like a dream. His soufflés and cakes were light and lovely, and he made wonderful Indian and Chinese food as well. His ‘pandraas’, cutlets and pancakes stay on in our memories. The only ‘baksheesh’ that the old man ever wanted was a ‘Thank you!’ And he got plenty of heartfelt thanks in his time. Poor old man, he died of tuberculosis. In the cold weather, as he’d said he would.
Biren Mistri
Biren was an old timer too – he was painfully thin; he had a weak heart and was lame in one leg. He’d come limping to the bungalow with a fine walking stick, which he’d carved himself, and he had a helper who carried all his tools. He wore a woolen hat (all round the year), shorts, shoes and socks, and a pair of very thick spectacles.
Biren was an artist. Wood was something he loved and understood, and he must have picked up his craft from the Chinese carpenters who worked in tea gardens many years ago. There were some glass fronted cupboards he’d made with carved wooden frames of classic Chinese design. He once made me a perfect oval picture-frame with invisible joints. He carved us two or three fine walking sticks as well.
He loved appreciation, and he had a lovely smile that lit up his face with kindness and goodness. Biren’s helper had to bear the brunt of his tongue, though. He was quite rough with him.
It was decided that Biren would make a wooden frame for the fireplace – a complete wooden mantelpiece, and the entire design was to be of his choosing. He was very happy. He loved the idea, the challenge, and the thought that he was going to contribute something to the bungalow that would be a source of pride and joy for years to come. It was, in fact, his final masterpiece. He retired some months later, and he died soon after. That was some months before Bawarchi died.
The fireplace that was Biren Mistri’s last masterpiece.
Biren would have to do the entire job of the fireplace in the bungalow. There was no way he could take anything to the factory, as he’d have to keep taking measurements during the course of the work. The old man was worried about his morning tea break. How could he manage to walk all the way home for his eleven o’clock meal then back to the bungalow, with his leg being what it was? Well that was simple enough, he was told: he could have a meal in the bungalow. Bawarchi was instructed to provide Biren with breakfast every morning.
The war begins
No one anticipated the storm that the two proud old men would manage to brew up between them. To start with, Bawarchi was outraged. Did anyone realise who and what he was? He’d been working for years – so many years – first in Assam, and then in the Andrew Yule Company Kothi in Karballa T.E. He’d seen so many saabs and memsaabs, and that too from the British days! He’d cooked for such grand parties, he’d turned out a hundred and fifty perfect tandoori chickens on one night, and now, in his old age, he was being asked to wait hand and foot on this – this Biren Mistri who addressed him as ‘Ay!!’ and ordered him about!
One of the complaints Bawarchi made was absolutely ridiculous. He claimed that Biren was profiting unfairly from the situation. How? No one could understand. So he explained. We bought eggs from Biren’s house, where one of his sons ran a small poultry business. And then, Bawarchi said, stressing the point, Biren was fed one of those eggs every day!
How could Biren sell us an egg and then eat it himself??
Biren, for his part, ranted about how Bawarchi deliberately took advantage of his dependence on him for food. He insulted him in every possible way, he said. He made him wait, and he did it purely out of spite. He couldn’t bother with cooking the simplest thing properly. He grudged him every mouthful that he ate. Who was he to counter Burra Saab’s orders anyway? Biren Mistri could not handle the daily humiliation, he said. He would go hungry, but he would not tolerate Bawarchi’s insults, his insolence and his arrogance.
Now this was a Situation. Neither Biren nor Bawarchi could be ticked off and told to stop behaving like children. Each one was given a patient hearing, and then offered a suggestion. Biren’s meal was to be served to him at a fixed time. All that Bawarchi had to do was to see that everything was in place, so that the paniwala could cook the meal and serve it to Biren. The arrangement worked well for a few days, and there were no fireworks in the kitchen.
The situation boils over
And then one morning, Bawarchi started off again.
He had found a rotten egg. He complained, and then he raged about the villain who’d sold it to us. He brought it to me in a cup and waved it about, ranting about dishonest people and the bad stuff they sold, and how it was he who was accountable for everything that found its way into the kitchen. Who would have to take the blame, after all? It was so unfair. He was simply delighted that he’d got some tangible proof of his enemy’s villainy. He was going to take full advantage of it!
Once he quieted down, Bawarchi was told that the egg could easily be replaced. Wasn’t it always?
No, he said, if we wanted any eggs replaced, ‘they’ always asked to see the bad egg in the first place. Well then, he was told, he could go and show ‘them’ the bad egg and ask for a replacement. There were other eggs in the house for now. That seemed to be the end of it. I had had enough from him.
The next day, Bawarchi went about looking less grumpy than usual. His sudden cheeriness made me suspicious. I decided to ask him about the bad egg. Had he managed to get a fresh one in its place?
“No,” he said. He smiled his crafty old smile.
“I cooked it and fed it to Biren Mistri.”
(This story was first published on Indian Chai Stories. The author also blogs about her life at Seventh Chords.)
Many single senior citizens across India are now giving relationships a second chance in their silver years, through marriage or live-in relationships. Here’s a look at why companionship is much needed in an older age and organizations helping seniors to achieve it.
This article first appeared in 2014. We have updated it recently with new information due to the sustained interest in the topic.
“I’m happy just to have someone with me in the house,” says Janardan, a former government employee in his 70s now; he is husband to Mala (name changed on request), in her early 60s.
“I’m looking forward to finding someone who shares my love for travel,” says Balaka Devi, 63. She recently registered herself (with the help of a supportive daughter) with a marriage portal that enables second marriages.
While stories of romance among people middle-aged and older have often made successful plots for many Hollywood films (Something’s Gotta Give; It’s Complicated; Mamma Mia), the traditional Indian mindset is largely unwelcoming of people looking for love and companionship in their older years. There are whispers and snide comments and very often a lack of support from family members. However, mindsets are gradually changing and social acceptance is finding a foothold as older people across the country are opening up to finding companions to spend their lives with. With life expectancy going up and people living longer than earlier, finding a companion in your 50s is considered absolutely normal, while looking for love in the 60s or 70s is no longer looked upon as taboo either.
While some people believe in marriage, many opt for live-in relationships. As we spoke to couples across different age groups, communities and social strata, one thing stood out. Living one’s senior years without a companion to spend one’s days or share a conversation with was a daunting prospect for most. Older people usually give relationships a second chance purely for this reason. And helping them out are a few organizations that have tapped into this growing social need.
Finding a Match
In Chennai, Mr. Vasanth of Vasantham Remarriage Service says almost 20- 30% of people registered with the bureau are over the age of 60. “The oldest couple we have helped get married were 78 and 76 years of age. They have been married for three years now.” Vasanth feels most women who have registered with this service are looking for financial security from their partners and moral support. For men, the need is more for a companion who will look after them and help alleviate loneliness too.
Ahmedabad’s Natubhai Patel needs no introduction when it comes to senior marriages and live-in relationships. The devastation that followed the 2001 earthquake in Kutch, Gujarat, led to the establishment of a unique organization for seniors by Patel. Called Vina Moolya Amulya Seva (VMAS), it works towards finding life partners for single seniors – widowed, divorced or bachelors/bachelorettes.
While Kutch was where this organization started, today it has managed to reach out to more than 7000 senior singles of different ages from all over the country. It has been instrumental in the wedding of 52 couples, and amazingly 11 live-in relationships of singles above the age of 50. Patel says, “We wanted to help the senior citizens live the remainder of their lives with companions and that is why we started this service.”
In Kolkata, Dr. Amitava DeSarkar runs Thikana Shimla, an NGO that also provides a platform for senior citizens to connect with each other for companionship, apart from taking care of other eldercare needs. DeSarkar was inspired by Patel’s work and took his advice.
“When I researched loneliness of elders, I saw that singleness is one of the causes of loneliness. Attraction for opposite sex is natural, even in twilight age,” he adds. DeSarkar also runs a home for older people, as well as smartphone classes. After interacting with many seniors he feels that, “living alone, lacking instrumental support and being unable to share life expectations with a confidante contributes to social isolation.” Having a relationship and finding companionship with the opposite sex is one of the best solutions for alleviating loneliness and social isolation, according to him.
Battling the stigma
NM Rajeshwari and Damodar Rao with their families
“Marriage in the later years is not about a physical relationship but about emotional support,” says NM Rajeshwari, founder of ThoduNeeda, a Hyderabad based NGO that works towards providing emotional support to the elderly. Started in 2010, Rajeshwari felt that with the joint family system breaking up and adult children often living overseas, several seniors who were on their own had nothing to look forward to except for the empty walls of their homes.
Battling ridicule about her age and ‘proclivities’ (she was 60 then), Rajeshwari personally met senior citizens around her and discovered that many were ready to welcome a service that facilitated companionship for them at an older age. Most were however worried about the social stigma. Rajeshwari, the brave woman that she is, wasn’t. When she started ThoduNeeda with a press conference in December 2010, 45 men and 25 women attended, with a 66-year-old former bank manager and a 63-year-old lady meeting there for the first time and deciding to live together.
Since then, Rajeshwari and her organization have seen almost 50 couples stay together, whether through marriage or a live-in relationship. They organize meetings where they invite senior singles. All meetings and discussions are overseen by a lawyer who can advise regarding possible financial complications. Once a couple decides to stay together, they must announce it on the ThoduNeeda platform, so as to encourage others.
Rajeshwari rues the fact that children are often the biggest hindrance in their parents finding happiness.
“The children may have had inter community marriages themselves but they don’t want their parents to get married. Very often the prime reason is property, as they do not want the new spouse to have a share in it.”
Adding that this is one of the reasons why a lawyer is present for all couple meetings, Rajeshwari echoes Mr Vasanth in saying the prime reason for women wishing to marry is security, while for men it is housekeeping. Although roles are often reversed. She cites the example of a lady who got married through her organization and says her new husband makes tea for her every morning! “The husband is also happy that he is being complimented for being so thoughtful,” she says with a smile.
Patel admits there are people who raise an eyebrow at live in relationships among seniors and explains the reason why some of them have opted for it. Older people have usually amassed property or some wealth by this stage in life and marriage often brings with it legal complications like changing of wills, converting bank accounts and the worst of it all, court cases from aggrieved family members.
As Patel says, “Most of our unions have been successful yet there were cases which fell through. Having the last few years of their life wasted in court cases was not our intention, and this made us suggest live-in relations.” This ensured that seniors could have a companion to share their lives with, without any legal complications that marriage might bring in, especially where property was involved.
Patel understands the difficulties an older, traditional Indian woman faces in participating in matrimonial events, which is why his organization arranges for all the expenses for women coming to the meetings by paying travel and stay expenses. Though he has faced opposition in a few places, Natubhai Patel still feels that society is opening up and children are now approaching him to find partners for their parents. He feels his priceless service is helping society become more tolerant and accepting of the needs of senior citizens.
DeSarkar, on the other hand, has faced threats from some family members of clients. “One person asked me to stop contact with his mother immediately or else I would face problems.” Despite threats, his initiative has found many takers, with several seniors attending the meets organized by Thikana Shimla.
The Support Systems
Every cloud does have a silver lining and children who are against parents finding companions could do well to take a leaf out of Rajeshwari and her companion Damodar Rao’s childrens’ books. Rajeshwari and Damodar, 69, took turns to speak to each other’s children.
“I did not want them to think of me as a stepmother. I told them I’m your father’s friend and there to provide him emotional support,” she says. She also offered to write on a stamp paper that she had no rights on Rao’s property or money, to avoid any dispute from the start. “They returned it but his children understood now why he had liked me, trusted their father’s judgement and wanted him to be happy.”
A relationship was the last thing on Namrata Singh’s (name changed on request) mind after her husband passed away five years ago. Singh, 55, was still coming to terms with the loss and dealing with grief and loneliness when she met her partner at a conference. They started off as friends, even successfully working together on a few projects, which gradually culminated in them starting a business together.
As they got to know each other more, the closeness grew and sometime in late 2017, Singh and her partner started a relationship. For Singh, it was important that her daughters understood and accepted it.
“My daughters are in their mid and late twenties and both are extremely supportive. They appreciate the fact that I have started a company, I have a partner and what I am doing,” says this independent media consultant.
While marriage is nowhere in the picture for now, it was important for Singh to speak to those close to her about her new relationship when she started. “My husband would have approved. He did not want me to give up on love as I was only 50 when he died. But I wanted to ask my mother who lived with me and also tell my father in law.” Her partner too, told his daughter and ex-wife about the relationship. Although Singh’s relationship grew from a friendly to a romantic one in an organic manner, the loneliness looming ahead in life also played a big part. She is extremely honest when she talks about it. “I spent the last four years alone and that was very tough. I would feel lost without a companion. I wanted someone I could depend on.”
Like Singh, Balaka Devi of Kolkata wouldn’t have thought of looking for a companion, until her daughter Tara suggested it. “I’m the one who told her about older people finding companions and said there is no harm in looking for someone you could spend the rest of your years happily with. My mother loves travel, enjoys good food in restaurants and movies. I’m quite busy with my work and live in a different city. I would be thrilled if she found a friend to do these things with and an emotional anchor,” says Tara, who has registered her mother with a few websites and has even sent her off on a ‘date’ or two.
Finding A Companion
While Singh was lucky enough to find love at an older age again, some older people do need some help in finding a companion. ThoduNeeda runs a tour program for seniors where they can meet. Apart from marriage, they also welcome any seniors who wish to find a companion to share a home with, be it two women opting to stay together because it makes their lives easier. As Rajeshwari puts it, companionship makes your quality of life improve. She herself is an example of it.
After organizing matrimony meets for over two years, DeSarkar has realised that the solution to the problem does not lie in just a one day program. “I need to continue a relationship with candidates all along the year. So, we have started a closed Facebook group of interested people and we are planning on organizing dating tours as well.”
Patel organizes sammelans (seminars) where prospective grooms can meet prospective brides. The seminars are announced in the local media through ads. He explains how it works.
“Here we collect the bio-data of all the prospective candidates, then they are allotted numbers and then we introduce the ladies and then the men. They each shortlist the ones they want to meet. We give the women the preference to decide first and then organize on-the-spot meetings. They are then free to exchange contact details and arrange further meetings. The organization treats the bio-data submitted as proof and does not get into the background check of the person. “Our responsibility is to make two willing persons meet, from there on it’s up to them how they want to take it forward.”
All the organizations ensure they take maximum care to avoid any form of cheating or misrepresentation. At Thikana Shimla’s meets, interested persons can fill up a form and attach a passport size photo, age proof, address proof and proof that they are single (death certificate of spouse or divorce certificate). Those who have never been married before are given a declaration form to fill. While most take adequate care to ensure only genuine people meet and help them take the first steps, in case of a prospective match, once people connect with each other, it’s up to them to take it forward.
“The trend for a legal friendship is much more than marry or live-in relationship,” says DeSarkar, who feels companionship matters more than a label (married/live in) does. He isn’t far off the mark. Whether it is with a little matchmaking support or finding love by chance, single seniors are ready to change social mindsets and give relationships a second chance.
Here’s how to connect with the organizations mentioned:
Vasantham Remarriage Service, Chennai: 098402 51110
Vina MulyaAmulyaSewa (VMAS), Ahmedabad and across India
Contact Natubhai Patel on natubhai.vmas@gmail.com
ThoduNeeda, Hyderabad
Contact NM Rajeshwari on thoduneeda2010@gmail.com or visit their FB page: https://www.facebook.com/thoduneeda.sewa
You may also call: 8106367014
Thikana Shimla, Kolkata
Contact: 093308 43394 or email: thikana_shimla@yahoo.co.in
https://www.facebook.com/thikanashimla/
Happy Seniors, Pune
Contact: happyseniors19@gmail.com
With Sheetal Mehta, who interviewed Natubhai Patel for this article
Father’s Day is round the corner and we hope you have decided to make it memorable for your old man. Need some Father’s Day gift ideas? We’ve got you covered!
Yes, we do know a day means nothing much and it is all but a marketing gimmick. But hey, if all that consumeristic marketing pressure makes us take extra care to make the day special for our parents, then why not?
We thought of some Father’s Day gift ideas for your doting dad. And remember, these are just guidelines. Whether the gift is big or small, specially curated or ordered from a nearby store in between office hours, it’s the intent and love behind it that matters.
The Bookworm Dad
Your love of reading comes from the books that were always strewn around the house when you were growing up. He’s the dad who never denied you the latest bestseller and gladly brought you subscriptions to children’s magazines and maybe even the Encyclopedia Britannica in the days when reading on paper mattered.
Books make the best gifts for the bookworm dad. To make it extra special, you could scout for something that’s out of print or rare or if you could afford it, a first edition! If your dad finds it hard to read the printed word, a Kindle would make for a great Father’s Day gift too, as he can increase the font size to his specification. You can load it with dad’s favourite books for that extra special touch. A library membership, if your city has a library service or a good public library is also a good bet. Also, there are several services that put together books for special occasions. Why not create a book that revolves around your father, with him as the star?
The Family Man Dad
Family comes first for most of us but for some dads, there’s no place like home with children, grandchildren, the works. A specially designed photo album that captures special moments over the years of dad with you and your siblings would make for a gift he’d cherish. A beautiful framed collage of his best photographs would be a heart-warming addition to the home décor. You could also try making a family tree or make a short memoir of family happenings since his childhood.
The Fit and Sporty Dad
This is the dad who hasn’t given a single World Cup football match a miss since they started televising them, or whose idea of a great day is non-stop cricket on TV. Why not buy him tickets to a live match happening in his city? Make it a special experience with premium tickets and a drop and pick-up service to the stadium to make it truly memorable. If he is fit enough to try his hand at a new sport, introduce him to a new game and see if he enjoys the experience. If you are unable to do it yourself, there are various services that curate special experiences and could have this done for you. Some sporty dads are also enthusiastic walkers. You could help him keep the pace and stay fit and active with gifts like Fitbit or pedometers. A gift basket with all fitness essentials including sippers, knee support, etc., also works well.
The Nature-Loving Dad
Gardening kits work well if your dad is a gardening enthusiast. You could even get a part of his garden or balcony redone by one of the gardening services that have mushroomed in each city. Planters and garden accessories also make for great gifts. And if you can really make the time, one of the best gifts would be to take him for a day out in a nature park or botanical garden.
The Foodie Dad
If your dad loves to cook, then there are a myriad kitchen gadget options to make it a pleasant and memorable experience for him. For the dad who loves to try out new cuisines, introducing him to one or getting him a gift card that allows discounts at certain restaurants is a great idea too. In fact why not celebrate the day by making him his special breakfast if you happen to be in the same city and can manage the time?
Here Are Some More Ideas
Whatever your dad’s interests, there are several ways to indulge him. Here are a few more ideas to add that extra love to his life:
• A subscription to a movie streaming site like Netflix, ALTBalaji, Hotstar or Amazon Prime set up on his tablet or smartphone if he uses one.
• A mobile holder for the car if he is still driving around.
• A fancy grooming kit as he is unlikely to splurge on one for himself.
• A portable radio like Saregama’s Carvaan for unlimited music throughout the day or a bluetooth speaker to play music from his phone. A Gaana, Saavn, Wynk or iTunes subscription if he is smartphone savvy would work well.
• A getaway to a nearby resort where it’s easy for him to travel with mom or a friend.
• A renovation to parts of his home that can make moving around safer – such as anti-skid tiles in the bathroom, automatic lights, etc.
• Daily living aids such as walkers, BP monitors, or a massage cushion may seem very mundane but could make a big difference to his everyday life.
At the end of the day it is all about showing the abundance of love you have for the man who nurtured and raised you. Whether you buy a gift or not, try making a surprise visit in person – the joy on his face will give you a precious memory for a lifetime.
Senior advocate Shiv Kumar tells us how the Maintenance and Welfare of Parents and Senior Citizens Act 2007 can help us prevent elder abuse and safeguard elder’s rights.
Despite age old traditions that equate parents with god and revere mythological figures like Shravan Kumar who carried his aged parents in a basket on his shoulders for a pilgrimage, elder abuse remains a sad reality in India today. Worse still, cases of abuse are seldom reported. Thirty-one percent of the elderly themselves consider abuse a family matter and do not report family members who abuse them. Twenty-three percent do not report elder abuse for “fear of retaliation,” according to a Helpage India Elder Abuse survey conducted in 2014.
However, did you know there is a law to safeguard the rights of elders in India? The Maintenance and Welfare of Parents and Senior Citizens Act 2007 was put in place to prevent elder abuse by making it a legal obligation for children to provide maintenance to their parents. Here’s a short interview with senior advocate Shiv Kumar, who has been working in the area of elder empowerment, on how this law can help prevent elder abuse.
Shiv Kumar is a Senior Advocate with a 40 year old practice at the Karnataka High Court. He has been actively involved with the Elders Help Line run jointly by Nightingales Trust and Bangalore Police since its inception. He has established the Legal and Counselling Centre at the Helpline and a dispute resolution process in the form of mediation, which attempts conflict resolution through the alternative process of Mediation without recourse to courts. He is the author of a draft legislation exclusively for elders that was used as a base for the Maintenance Act. He is keen on educating and empowering senior citizens about their rights under the law.
1. How would you define elder abuse to a layperson?
Elder abuse has not been specifically defined in any statute. However, conceptually elder abuse would refer to any act or deed or conduct that tends to adversely impact or lower the dignity of life of an elder and/or subjects an elder to pain, suffering (both emotional or physical), deprivation, etc., and compels the elder to adhere to a code of conduct or behavior, which deprives the elder of the right to make a free and independent choice. In essence, therefore, elder abuse represents a willful denial of an elder’s right to lead a life of dignity without being relegated to an animal existence and inclusion in mainstream society. Such rights have received universal recognition, including in the covenant of UN, the Constitution of India and several judicial pronouncements of the Supreme Court of India. Resultantly, whether or not “abuse” is specifically defined, every act which tends to demean the name or life of an elder or results in deprivation of his/her property or tends to create fear or apprehension in the mind of an elder could be classified as abuse. Disrespect, abandonment, deprivation of essentials of life, threat to life and property are only manifestations of abuse.
2. While there is more awareness about elder abuse now, we are still coming across cases on a regular basis of elders being beaten up or neglected. What are your thoughts on this?
Sadly, there has been a significant increase in cases and instances of elder abuse. However, it is also true that awareness of the means of redressal under statute and of those offered by several NGOs has increased. Physical abuse is relatively lower in occurrence than emotional, psychological or financial abuse, but neglect/abandonment of elders remains a major form of abuse. Notwithstanding greater awareness of rights and relief mechanisms (both statutory and otherwise) the reluctance of elders to seek help or enforce rights remains. Fundamentally, this reluctance stems from a fear/apprehension of a higher degree of abuse after help is sought by an elder. This fear is often justified and more pronounced in cases where the perpetrator and victim reside in the same house and, by circumstances, are compelled to continue to live/reside together, even after seeking redress.
3. How can awareness about the Maintenance and Welfare of Parents and Senior Citizens (MWPS) Act, 2007, help curb cases of elder abuse?
Proactive measures like MWPS afford statutory recognition to some of the basic human rights like food, clothing, shelter, medical care, recreation etc. Codification of such rights and providing a mechanism for enforcement has resulted in a sense of entitlement amongst elders. Rights conferred by law and specifically under the MWPS Act have encouraged elders to seek relief in courts/tribunals or assistance of helplines to protect their statutory rights. The trend to seek relief from abuse and injustice has been encouraging. However, the difficulty in enforcing rights particularly against abuse is that most cases of abuse occur within the confines of a home and, therefore, are difficult to establish by cogent/acceptable evidence in any judicial forum. Moreover, rarely are such instances willingly brought into public domain. However, for an elder who has decided to seek legal remedies on account of intense or severe abuse, an increased awareness of remedial measures provided under the Act has acted as an incentive and provided a sense of reassurance.
4. If you were to highlight 5 key points of the Maintenance act what would those be?
Five key points of the MWPS Act would be:
a) Establishment of Maintenance Tribunals to ensure payment of maintenance for sustenance of elders by children, including daughters, and providing for imprisonment in case of default in payment.
b) Obligating the State to notify schemes to protect the life and property of senior citizens.
c) Casting an obligation on the State to notify schemes for enhancement of the quality of life of senior citizens, including proactive measures for recreation, health care, provision of food and other welfare measures and creating easy access to legal redress.
d) Providing for cancellation of instruments of transfer of immovable property in cases where children fail to look after or provide for their parents.
e) Establishment of old age homes and prescribing minimum standards for such homes.
A draft bill with substantial amendments to the act is pending consideration. Click here to read the amendments.
5. What are most instances of elderly abuse about? Physical violence? Emotional torture? Financial negligence?
In most cases elder abuse comprises mental abuse, neglect, deprivation and financial exploitation. Physical violence is comparatively less for the obvious reason that any physical harm or injury to a senior citizen would not only constitute a criminal offence under the Indian Penal Code but more important would be capable of being proved through medical examination.
6. If an abused senior decides to file a complaint against her/his abuser, what are the steps she/he needs to take and follow?
In cases of abuse to elders, two remedies are available:
a) To file a complaint of physical abuse or threat to life at the jurisdictional police station and demand that an FIR be registered, in which event the regular course of law would be set in motion.
b) To approach helplines, if they are available, and seek intervention.
The JOY Community (Just Older Youth) is a Facebook group for Indians who are single and in the age group 50-60. These active seniors plan to live together in a community and be of support to each other as they age.
I started a group for single people aged 50-60 on Facebook in 2017. Although the immediate reaction from people is that it must be a dating group, this could not be further from the truth. The group is for singles who want to live and grow old together in a community so that they can be of support to each other as they age. It is called The JOY Community (Just Older Youth).
On returning to India after living abroad for several years, I found the number of single senior citizens had jumped exponentially. The 2011 census data shows that 15 million elderly Indians live alone and almost three-fourths of them are women.
Who looks after these Indians? The joint family system is disintegrating across the country, there is no solid social security system in place, and facilities for aged people are in an abysmal state. And this does not even take into account the problem of loneliness, which is coming to be known as the silent killer among the elderly.
The Beginning of JOY
Being single myself, I knew I wanted to do something to equip myself for the future. How about rounding up some others like myself and seeing if we could find a way of living close to each other as we aged – kind of like a substitute for family? And just like that, The JOY Community was born. I put up a post in a Delhi-based group asking if anyone was interested, and I could not believe the number of people who responded. There was obviously a severe need out there for emotional and physical support for singles thinking of their future plans.
Why singles? And why aged 50-60 only? Wouldn’t couples and especially people in their 60s and 70s benefit from living in a community too? The answer is yes, of course. But I felt the need of single people was greater. Couples have each other to fall back on, while singles have to rely on friends and neighbours for help when needed. And as for the age limitation, I figured most people in their 60s and 70s have settled down in some location post retirement and would be averse to relocating. Singles my age, still making their post-retirement plans, would be open to moving to a community, wherever it was formed, just for the comfort of knowing that there were others like them close by.
How We Plan To Live
The JOY Community currently has 70+ members and given the largish number we have decided that a single community cannot be formed in one location. So sub-groups have been created within JOY, focused on three different locations – South & West India, NCR & North India, and the Hills in the North – based on member preferences. These sub-groups are currently discussing locations, types of communities, budgets, etc. amongst themselves. Although there are members from all over the country and even from abroad, most are from NCR and so the group meets up offline once a month in Delhi. Sometimes members from other cities fly in too. Very soon, the sub groups will start meeting up often to discuss the agenda of living together and getting to know their future neighbours.
So are we going to build these communities ourselves? The answer is no. We have decided to look at three different models and based on member preferences several small communities of singles may come up. One option, the one most popular among members, is to move into existing retirement communities that offer facilities like community dining, proximity to hospitals, doctor on call, housekeeping, clubhouse for senior friendly activities, etc. Although these communities obviously have couples who have purchased units there, as singles we feel these retirement communities will let us live close to each other while offering the facilities needed to let us stay independent as long as possible.
Another model being discussed is buying condos in the same building or society. This too offers the advantage of living in proximity to each other while having our own private space. But we would not get the facilities that the retirement communities offer. The third model, also finding takers, is renting or buying a big villa or home to share. Here, members would have their own rooms but a shared dining and recreation area to mingle and socialize everyday.
How To Join Us
So, as you can see, we are still an evolving group, but the seed of the idea has germinated and is beginning to grow. Singles aged 50-60 interested in being a part of JOY can click here and answer the questions that will pop up before their request to join is considered. Further questions from the admins may follow. The stringent screening process is for the online and offline safety of all members and to ensure that people are seriously aligned with the goals of the group and not just joining to meet and socialize with other singles. Once accepted, new members join the discussions regarding community living already in progress and their active participation is sought and expected.
My hope, as we move forward with our community living plans with JOY, is that many such communities will spring up across the country, especially for very senior citizens too, so that no elderly single has to face the daunting prospect of a lonely and unsupported old age in India.
Once again, here’s how single people in the age group 50-60 can join JOY – click here.
Finding a new career after retirement can be a challenge but it can also be fulfilling. In our ongoing series, Second Innings Stories, we speak to people who moved into very different roles post retirement. Here’s the story of Santhosh Kumar, a banker from Kerala who studied law in his 60s.
At 61, when many others his age were enjoying retired life, Santhosh Kumar S, a retired bank official from Attingal, Kerala, decided to start a second innings career. Fuelled by a long-cherished dream, he appeared for the LLB examination and stood first in the state. He went on to study law from Government Law College, Trivandrum, and graduated in 2016. He was 64.
Taking up law had been on Santhosh Kumar’s mind for a long time. In fact, he had appeared for the law examination earlier in 2006 (and had topped the state that time too) but couldn’t join the course as he was working in a bank and had been promised a much-awaited promotion by the management.
Advocate Santhosh with his family.
The said promotion did not work out and disheartened Santhosh Kumar, who had spent 24 years serving the same bank. But it was not enough to keep him away from what he felt had always been his ultimate goal – to serve others.
Motivation To Serve
His career in banking had happened by chance — when Santhosh Kumar could not clear the UPSC interview in April 1981, after clearing the preliminary and main exams. “Perhaps my rural education and Malayalam medium let me down. I got just 75 out of 300 in the interview. I was frustrated and gave up the government job I had at the secretariat and joined a bank, although I must admit that I grew to like the profession.”
But the desire to serve others and make a difference to their lives remained with him and, years later, close to retirement and somewhat frustrated by the politics within the bank, Santhosh Kumar took the plunge again. He retired in 2013 and started studying law.
Today, he practises as a junior advocate under K Satheeshkumar, a senior advocate at Trivandrum district court.
“I want to practise both civil and criminal law,” he says, adding “I want to show people this profession can be utilised for the betterment of society.”
The Hard Work
Studying for the LLB entrance exam was no cakewalk, especially when you get back to the books after years. Santhosh Kumar would frequently burn the midnight oil, encouraged by his family, especially his wife. In fact, looking at his dedication, even his grandchildren began to study more!
“When you set your mind to something and have an interest, it is achievable,” believes this enthusiastic lawyer.
He contrasts his post retirement study with his childhood, when he “never touched a book.” He worked in the fields instead.
“My parents were not educated and we helped our parents on our agricultural land. But I feel if even after coming from such a simple background my siblings and I could go on to make good careers, anything is possible.” He also attributes his success to his guru’s blessings, though his own diligence and dedication are there for all to see.
Making A Success of Second Innings
Describing himself as “an energetic person by nature,” Santhosh Kumar also wants to open a coaching centre to help poor and needy children tackle entrance exams for college – possibly a throwback to his own UPSC experience although he says the aim is to achieve a greater good. He feels he has worked towards starting afresh in terms of his career and should utilise it the best he can towards social causes.
So what is his advice for retirees considering a second innings?
“Usually an employee is at his best towards the end of his career. He has vast practical exposure and experience gained over so many years. In fact he is retiring when he is at his best,” says Santhosh Kumar, citing the example of the famous ‘Metro-man’ E Sreedharan, who served as the Managing Director of the Delhi Metro until well into his mid-70s.
He feels there may be some inertia to start afresh in a new field but that can be overcome by staying positive. “Once that is overcome your vast past experience starts delivering. As the saying goes, where there is a will there is a way!”
To read other articles from the Second Innings Series, click here:
Sarla Mukund’s Volunteering Story
Viji Venkatesh’s career restart at 50
Finding a vocation you love late in life can be a challenge but it can also be the best thing that happened to you. In our new series, Second Innings Stories, we speak to people who moved into very different roles in and around 50 years of age and are living examples of following their passion.
It’s never too late to start a Second Innings in life when it comes to work. It could be a professional role you had been waiting for your entire life; a newly learnt hobby you decided to turn into a profession or an inherent skill you thought of using for the greater good. Whatever your second innings may be, there has to be passion behind it and no thought of age ever coming in the way. We start this series with Viji Venkatesh, Region Head, India and South Asia, Max Foundation; a social media whiz and to our minds, a complete fashion icon who wears her 66 years with pride and grace and her own inimitable style. Over to Viji!
Starting My Second Innings
I was 50 years old when I joined The Max Foundation and this is my sixteenth year with them. I began working when I was 35 and a mother of two. I had been a full-time homemaker until then. I have a BA in English Literature. Before joining Max, I had been working with another non-profit organization working on cancer issues for about 13 years. In between these two jobs, I’d also managed a bookstore in Mumbai and had worked with an independent TV company in Delhi helping them produce a weekly show for Doordarshan on the Indian Diaspora. I took a break from cancer, never realizing I would come back to it in just two years in such a big and all-consuming manner!
What My Work Involves
I am Region Head for India and South Asia. I have a team of 18 people working with me. I’m actually switched on 24×7 because I have to be available to my patients at all times and also because I work on international timelines. It would be accurate to say I have a 14-hour work day. I travel a lot as I manage all the countries in the region and have patient support groups in different Indian cities. This is apart from visiting hospitals, training coordinators, networking with physicians, presenting in conferences and so on.
Viji speaks at a Chai for Cancer event hosted by Silver Talkies in March 2017.
Slipping Into My New Role
My role in Max Foundation was to set up a patient access program like none other. The donation of a drug for a chronic blood malignancy that had to be taken lifelong keeping the life-limiting disease at bay. It was an unprecedented program that meant setting up guidelines, implementing them, establishing relationships with various stakeholders like physicians and industry partners, finding, training and retaining a team, establishing and strengthening budgets and accounting processes – the whole works. And most importantly, being there for the rapidly increasing number of patients newly diagnosed and helping them and their families cope with the trauma; ensuring they were compliant and promoting good adherence. I had to find skills within myself and develop competencies to do this. It was a challenge but one I met headlong.
New Responsibilities At An Older Age
It’s important to keep learning. Age has no place here but it is important to be fit both physically and mentally. Be ready and willing to learn every day. There are no external factors and it is all inside you. You need to have the hunger and growing old does not mean you stop being hungry. I think it is important to know, recognise and appreciate one’s own strengths. And to accept that there is no perfect job waiting for you. You go out there and make it yours and perfect. Confidence in oneself and the desire to better oneself and absence of fear of failure are important.
Bridging The Generation Gap At Work
I work with a young team. I never call myself their boss. Team leader is more like it. I make sure they know I am also learning alongside them. They are involved in most decision-making processes and know they have my respect and I have their backs covered. A non-profit does not mean non-professional. I can be a very demanding task master to my team but the rewards (for them) are many.
They are receiving training in so many facets of work life and accumulating several skills that are going to be great assets to them.
Is there something I have consciously worked on while taking on a new role in my older years? Yes. My physical fitness. Keeping up with technology. Embracing all new fads. Learning to use all tools at my disposal. Making social media work. Never hiding my age but wearing it well. Being well-groomed and being well read and informed.
Chai for Cancer, an initiative started by Viji to raise funds for cancer patients
What Age And Experience Brings To The Work Table
Being older has so many advantages, yes. But the trick is not to use age as a crutch but a multi-purpose tool. I think my age gave me great confidence and advantage in my new role. I made sure I did not get pushed around. I was never the old woman but the older person if you know what I mean. And I did not try to look or behave or dress younger. I always wear all signs of ageing with great pride, both physically and otherwise.
How Has Finding My Dream Job At A Later Age Made A Difference
I am living my dream job because I created it for myself and therefore I am also responsible for it. This job has allowed me to bring my inner me out there into the open. I am my best friend and my favourite companion. To be at ease with oneself is the greatest strength. People see you the way you see yourself. I see myself as a professional who will never compromise on delivery and performance. At home, at work, my job has allowed me to be.
Liked this story? Read more Second Innings stories here: Sarla Mukund’s Volunteering Story
Featured image courtesy: Mayur Chandranee Photography, Bangalore. Taken at a Chai For Cancer event hosted by Silver Talkies in Bangalore on March 24, 2017.
Sarla Mukund, an employee with Dignity Foundation, has always believed in working for a cause. At 77, she works eight hour days and is never caught without her gentle manner and pleasant smile. We find out how a Second Innings evolved for Ms Mukund.
Like many others Bangaloreans at work, Sarla Mukund clocks in at least eight hour work days. Unlike many other Bangaloreans at work though, the affable Ms Mukund is only 77 years old. The septuagenarian is an employee of Dignity Foundation, a non profit organization working for senior citizens and one of the best examples of age never coming in the way of what she wanted to do. Here’s the story of her second innings:
I joined Dignity Foundation at the age of 68. But I’ve had work experience prior to that as well. Before joining Dignity, we (me and some relatives) even got the necessary permissions and started a school and Pre-University College. I worked there as a librarian and administrator for 17 years and finally resigned because of a change of residence.
Following My Passion In The Silver Years
After my husband’s death, I decided not to stay ideal and do something with my time. I have always loved to volunteer for social causes and joined an NGO called iVolunteer. I was awarded Star Volunteer in this organization and was also judged to be among the 10 best volunteers in India. In 2008, I applied for an opening at Dignity Foundation for volunteers. My job was to look after an elderly gentleman who had dementia. He was a very sweet gentleman, talkative, humorous, knowledgeable and looking after him helped me get an insight into problems such as these.
Sarla Mukund catches up with friends at a luncheon organised by Silver Talkies
A New Role In The Silver Years
In 2011, I joined Dignity Foundation as full-time staff. I was given the responsibility of preparing Senior Citizen Cards for people above 60 years of age. I had no apprehensions in taking up this role. In fact, I preferred taking up a desk job as I was getting older. My role is like that of a secretary and involves a mix of things. I work for more than eight hours in Dignity Foundation. My energy comes from the fact that I enjoy helping others. The other upside has been that through this role, I have had the opportunity of meeting all kinds of people — young and old.
Bridging The Gap
I don’t work with a younger team. Most people I work with are above 50. But I also have a big group of friends across ages from my NGO days and don’t find any generation gap with them. In fact, I find that younger people love to mix with older citizens.
How Has The Job Made A Difference To My Life
Working at an older age has certainly made a difference to my life. I worked as a volunteer earlier and have always enjoyed helping people. Now I’m at a desk job but I’m still helping people essentially. I am more relaxed and despite my work, do have a lot of free time. The biggest difference has been the exposure. Working and interacting with people across ages, some closer to my age, some younger, gives me a lot of joy.
Should Older People Take Up A Second Innings
Yes, I would urge older people to think of a second innings. It could be a job or a volunteering option that keeps them occupied. Volunteering especially is not difficult to do if you are open to the idea. When you become older, you have a lot of time in your hands. It can be used to help others. Seniors can go to an old age home, talk to the residents there, play some games with them, perhaps gather their friends together and take senior residents of old age homes on a picnic. You can also choose to volunteer with younger children from economically weaker backgrounds or orphaned children. You can volunteer to teach them art and craft, escort them to a park outing, organise birthday celebrations…the list can be endless.
There is so much one can do when there is time on hand. I believe in the saying: Volunteers don’t get paid, not because they are worthless but because they are priceless.
To read other stories in the Second Innings Series, click here: Viji Venkatesh’s story
A thoughtful gift brings a lot of joy to everyone. With the festive season already on its way, here are some innovative and useful gifts for senior citizens.
Ganesh Chaturthi, Dusshera, Diwali, Christmas…
We are reaching that time of the year when celebration is in the air; there’s laughter and happiness with families visiting each other, exchanging gifts and sharing memories. It’s the perfect time to gift the older loved ones in your life something special, something interesting as well as useful. Thankfully, gifts for senior citizens are no longer limited to books, shawls or walking sticks and you have a variety of gifts for senior citizens available in the market today.
Here are some useful and interesting options in gifts for senior citizens. They cover the whole range from health to hobby and depending on the senior citizens’ need, use and interest, you can take your pick.
Health First
There are several gifts that can aid a senior citizen in taking part of their healthcare in their own hand. Take for instance, BP Monitors. These are smart machines that record more than just blood pressure. Here’s one BP Monitor that checks your BP with just one touch and even has the capacity to store readings of two profiles. It also comes with an Arrhythmia detection (irregular heartbeat) feature, making it useful for heart patients too. Health needn’t be boring either as this water bottle cum pill organizer shows. Safe to carry, store and organize pills, it looks great and can be a great gift for a senior citizen who loves to travel.
Photograph courtesy: www.seniority.in
Staying Safe
Safety is of utmost concern for senior citizens, especially those who are living alone or away from their family for longer duration. And while you may not be on hand all the time despite best intentions, you can certainly look at products that could aid their safety. Falls are one of the top causes of injuries among senior citizens. In fact, some could be life threatening or even make the senior permanently immobile. Why not gift the senior citizens at home innovative products that can help prevent falls? Try No Fall Socks, that have an anti-slip grip, making it safe to walk even on wet surfaces. Or you could try Safr, a wearable device that comes with a fall alert system, making it easier for the older person to ask for immediate help in case of a fall. It also works as a fitness band, helping you stay active and young at heart!
It’s amazing to see the innovation in everyday products that can help older adults stay safe. Take for instance this Motion Activated Light, which takes away the worry of accidents while looking for a light switch in the dark. These switch on automatically after detecting motion in the dark and could be of great help for an older person to have on their nightstand. Another cool yet smart gift would be to get them a Book Safe, given the increasing number of robberies and crimes against senior citizens these days. It’s a simple cash box that looks just like a book and can be used to store valuables that are in daily use. It makes for a gift for senior citizens that is both useful and works as a decorative object!
Photograph courtesy: www.seniority.in
Indulging Hobbies
The post retirement years are the best times to indulge in hobbies and interests that have probably simmered for a lifetime. The best way to rekindle them in a loved older one is to gift them something that works as a reminder. We absolutely loved Saregama’s product Carvaan , a portable digital audio player with 5000 pre-loaded Hindi songs and an FM radio. A sure hit with any music loving senior citizen. Hey it even doubles up as a bluetooth speaker, if the senior citizen in your life has the capacity for limitless music. For those seniors whose music tastes include classical, devotional or regional songs, check out these music cards , reusable USB memory sticks you can buy based on tastes. The range spans Yesudas to Gulzar to Rabindra sangeet.
Is it creative crafts and not music that keeps your loved one happy and engaged? Try the Anchor Stitch Kits we came across. Senior citizens who love to embroider could use these to create beautiful keepsakes for their children and grandchildren.
For more gifts for senior citizens and unusual curated products, check out Seniority, a one stop shop for products for senior citizens. And don’t forget to use the coupon code ST10 while checking out after buying. It entitles Silver Talkies readers to an additional 10% discount on the Seniority website.
Police initiatives for senior citizens across cities like Chennai and few others are aimed at keeping them safe and secure. We take a look at few.
When 94-year-old Viswanathan (name changed on request) was on his deathbed, his son, who had flown in from overseas, was surprised that his father kept asking for a certain “John.” Later, the housemaid informed him who John was: the beat officer from the local police station. When Viswanathan registered as a senior citizen living alone, beat officers visited him daily, to sign in a log book provided for the purpose. When John would come to sign the book, he would often stay and chat with Viswanathan. When Viswanathan passed away, John was at the ceremony too.
“Such stories are not uncommon,” said M.S.Bhaskar, inspector at the R-7 police station in K.K. Nagar, Chennai, on the sidelines of an event where Senior Citizen ID cards were issued to about 50 seniors by the police. The Senior Citizen ID booklet is a passport-sized booklet which contains important personal and medical information.
“This has become necessary as the number of seniors who do not live with their children has increased over the years,” said Bhaskar. “Caring for seniors is one of our focus points.” In fact, that has been one of the directives of Chennai’s commissioner of police, A.K. Viswanathan—closer ties between the police and the community they serve. The K.K. Nagar Police Station has taken a lead in the process, and Bhaskar credits it to the entire police team: right from Commissioner Viswanathan and Additional Commissioner (Law and Order) K. Shankar, to local beat officers and patrol officers who interface with seniors and their families.
Through their various services, Chennai police have been known to perform a variety of services, including speaking with errant sons and daughters of seniors, calling an ambulance, helping seniors with purchasing medicines and hailing an auto.
These services are managed by the Chennai police, in contrast to the Senior Citizen Helpline at 1253, run by the police in association with Help Age India.
This shifting of focus to the police as a primary source of contact for seniors has its limitations, as police personnel might not be adequately trained to counsel seniors or their children. It also means that the services provided would be dependent on individual police personnel. However, the current push toward direct contact improves the relationship between the police and seniors. And in the case of Viswanathan, a feeling of safety for life.
Some of the services that the Chennai police provide are:
Senior ID cards: This is a card that senior citizen can carry with them, which contains vital personal and medical information. This is to enable immediate identification and appropriate treatment in case hospitalisation is required. To avail of the card, which has been mandated in every police station, a senior citizen has to only fill in a form that is available at the nearest police station.
Single-press call to the police: Like most cities, Chennai maintains a database of senior citizens, with important information such as blood group and address. Seniors must register themselves to be part of the initiative, and let police know in case of any change. In an emergency, all the senior has to do is long-press “2” to connect directly with the police who will dispatch a team to the registered address and then call an ambulance or advise the caller appropriately. This requires setting up speed dial on the landline or mobile phone, which police assists with.
Daily check-ins: This is a service for senior citizens living by themselves or with their spouse. Seniors must register with the police for this service. Police check in with the senior every day, signing a log book maintained for the purpose. During the visit, police also assist senior citizens with activities they are having trouble with.
Such initiatives are not unique to Chennai. Several cities have their own senior care coordinated by the police departments.
Bengaluru is one of the cities with a well-oiled support helpline, a joint project of the Bangalore City Police and Nightingales Medical Trust. The toll-free number is manned by volunteers, who provide, among other services, legal help, counselling, and police intervention.
Mumbai has a dedicated helpline called ElderLine, comprised of medical professionals, social workers, legal professionals and general citizens who come together to form what the police calls “The Protective Circle.” Senior citizens register themselves by calling 1090, and can call the number for help. Using technology, the nearest volunteer and/or police are identified and dispatched to the address. The senior can also simply call to speak with or request a service from a volunteer—purchasing medicines from a store, for instance.
Delhi has a Senior Citizen Cell and encourages seniors to register themselves at their nearest police station or online at http://www.delhipolice.nic.in/seniorcitizen/addnew.aspx
Like Chennai, Delhi also has a “police visit” initiative, where officers visit the senior citizens to ensure their safety and comfort. They also help with background checks of domestic help who are hired.
Kolkata has an initiative “Pronom” in association with The Bengal, an NGO. Through the initiative, senior citizens can print out the registration form (available here: http://www.kolkatapolice.gov.in/images/docs/regform.pdf) and submit it to the Ballygunge Police Station. On registration, senior citizens become eligible for a personal security audit of their homes and surroundings. Fortnightly/monthly visits by the police are undertaken. This is in addition to the 24-hour helpline maintained by Pronom and Kolkata Police.
Bengali Cooking: Seasons & Festivals from Rupa Publications is an enjoyable narrative that looks at Bengali cuisine and the history and culture that shaped it. Here’s a review from our reader Sumana Chatterjee.
Chitrita Banerji’s book, Bengali Cooking: Seasons & Festivals is a pleasant journey to Bengal and its rich gastronomic heritage. It is not just another cook book with recipes and cookery tips but a wide exploration of Bengal with a vivid description of its geographical boundaries, the beautiful rivers flowing across, the opulence of its fertile lands and the food cultivation of the different belts of the state.
Knowing Bengal and Its Food
In her elaborate introduction, the author has nicely portrayed the culinary culture of undivided Bengal and how the division of Bengal has created a huge impact on the cooking style of Bengali cuisine. The large scale displacement along religion lines, has led to a significant exchange of food habits, cooking style, spices and ingredients resulting in a flavorful blend of Eastern (now Bangladesh) and Western part Bengal. I also liked the way she has described how the ‘Ghotis’ (people of West Bengal) and the ‘Bangaals’ (people originated from East Bengal), as they are fondly called, flaunt their cooking skills and exhibit their supremacy over each other claiming that they are the best cooks in the world. Indeed it is a sight to watch how the prawn lovers of West Bengal and the Hilsa lovers of East Bengal can endlessly argue with a biased fanaticism often ending in a ludicrous cacophony.
Bengali cuisine has been impacted by Mughal, British and Chinese invaders over the years. This has refashioned Bengali delicacies and it’s cooking style as Banerji points out. The use of cashew and almond paste, a touch of cream in the gravy or a sprinkle of saffron to bring richness to the dishes, are some improvisations to take our Bengali cuisines to a new height. The author’s personal experience of savouring the best flavors of both Muslim and Hindu food styles of Bangladesh and West Bengal respectively, was definitely an added advantage. Lamb and Chicken Posto, Kamala Koi and Orange rice were unknown to me until I read the book.
Culinary History
Chitrita Banerji has reflected in her book how the effect of cultural exchange between the different states of India resulted in an experimentation with the Bengali style of cooking thus giving a twist to its cuisine. She points out rightly that such fusion of cookery styles and experimentation with new spices and ingredients, often loses the originality and authenticity of our Grandma’s original flavors. Indian restaurants both in the country and overseas, claiming to serve authentic Bengali food, are often the culprits destroying the ethnicity of true Bengali cuisine.
The mention of Manasamangal kavya, Annadamangal kavya and some literary masterpiece of the bygone days, will inspire the avid food lovers to explore the roots of food cultivation of Bengal. This reflects how well read the author is on the subject and her enthusiasm for rediscovering the lost heritage of Bengal’s rich food culture. In the course of her introductory notes, Banerji has authenticated the fish and rice eating habits of the average Bengali by telling the readers about the abundance of Bengal’s ponds, rivers and Ganges and the affluence of it’s rich paddy fields. She mentions how the incorporation of lentils, vegetables and milk in the Bengali diet came about from widows, who were deprived of fish and religious sects who chose not to eat fish, onion and garlic. Banerji also looks at social mores. A visible distinction in the cooking style and daily diet of the rich and poor will give the reader a fair idea of the feudal mindset of mid eighteenth and early nineteenth century Bengal.
The Way We Eat
In the next section, the author showcases the way food is served and eaten in an average Bengali family. Her usage of the phrase, ‘Up to one’s wrist in food,’ is indeed a perfect expression of how the food lovers of Bengal indulge in their gustatory habits.
Seasonal changes bring changes in Bengal’s eating pattern too. The inclusion of bitterness, sourness, fieriness and sweetness in daily diet are matched with the different seasons mainly for medicinal reasons and availability food-grains, legumes, fruits and vegetables. It is interesting to see how the author has intelligently presented some of the best dishes of Bengal in accordance to the season. With every recipe she has added some anecdote and has also reminded the reader how the same item can be cooked in a hundred different ways by different households. The consistency of the ‘jhol’ (gravy), the ‘phorans’ (spices) and ingredients used often vary from house to house depending upon the family cooking tradition. The same ‘Posto’ or ‘Shukto’ or even the most popular ‘Machher Jhol’ can have a subtle difference of taste and flavor in individual house. Exchange of such cooking ideas brings versatility in Bengali delicacies.
While going through the book, I was remembering how our mothers and grandmothers taught us the traditional Bengali recipes and often cautioned us by saying, “You dare not fiddle with our cooking style and show off your adventurous mind.” Chitrita Banerji’s ‘Bengali Cooking’ is a must read for food lovers. It is very different from the usual cookbooks and she has rendered her recipes in a story telling manner, which gives a nice flow to the read. The book reflects her hard work and thorough research on Bengal’s culinary culture. It is not just a complete gastronomic tour but a pleasant insight into Bengal’s rich heritage, right from the Babu Bibi culture to the modest lifestyle of the average Bengali.
To buy the book, click here
Actor Vinod Khanna, whose magnetism charmed and almost conquered the Hindi film industry in the 70s passed away on April 27. Hamida Parkar of Cinemaspotter pays tribute to the industry?s original angry young man.
He was the sanyasi with a swagger. With that unforgettable cleft chin, those delicious good looks, solid screen presence and earnest acting, movie punters of yore were convinced that Vinod Khanna was Amitabh Bachchan?s only real competition. Khanna himself was pragmatic about it and didn?t think much of that analogy.
He was at the peak of his success and was paid more than the superstar in the films they did together. Yet, always a man after his own heart, Khanna chose to forsake family, fame and work for spirituality. When he returned in five years, his marriage with then-wife Geetanjali was over. His fans were still waiting though and the industry welcomed him back. He also found love again with Kavita Khanna. The actor rebuilt his life and career all over again.
Khanna lived unapologetically, in every phase of his life. Never one to mince words, he admitted in an interview to Simi Garewal that he was selfish, as he chose to go deeper and delve within his own self. He also enjoyed the lure of good life and ?the best of everything, be it apartments, cars or food.?
Vinod Khanna in 1966. This image was shared by his actor son Rahul Khanna on his twitter account.
There was something very endearing and honest about Khanna which made him a successful, all-round star. Among his memorable performances were Mera Gaon Mera Desh (1971), Hera Pheri (1977), Khoon Pasina (1977), Amar Akbar Anthony (1977), Parvarish (1977), Muqaddar Ka Sikandar (1978), Qurbani (1980), The Burning Train (1980), Satyamev Jayate (1987), Dayavan (1988) and Chandni (1989).
Of all his songs, Hum tumhe chahte hain aise is definitely my top favourite. Women couldn?t fathom why Zeenat Aman picked Feroz Khan in Qurbani. Especially in this song, where he looked epic level handsome.
May peace be with you, constant seeker.
Origami can be a great exercise for senior citizens. It could help people exercise their brain and even relieve stress. Here’s a first hand account from someone practising it for 30 years and more.
When you walk into my house, among the first things to catch your eye are intricately folded paper models. There are baskets, birds, flowers and boxes, all made out of brightly coloured paper, festooned on tables, suspended from lamps, scattered all over.
I am often asked about these artefacts, which are properly known by the name ‘Origami.’
Origami boxes by the author
If you follow the google trail, you will soon find that Origami is an art of paper folding invented by the Japanese soon after paper was brought to Japan by the Chinese around the 6th century AD. Ori means ‘folding’, and kami means ‘paper’ and it has spread beyond Japan to other countries to include all types of paper folding.
Traditionally Origami used a single sheet of paper to create designs, like birds and flowers. The art has evolved to include the use of multiple sheets. Origami can be practical- it is used in the medical sciences and for model-building but for me it is an exercise in mindfulness and stress relief. I was introduced to this art by a colleague and friend over 30 years ago, but I still consider myself to be a novice.
The discipline of folding to a pattern and the demands origami makes on my creativity and visualisation, keeps my mind sharp and relieves the tensions of everyday life. I keep square sheets of paper with me always and when I need to relax or need a distraction, I create flowers and birds. I am surrounded by their beauty and I do not need to pluck or cage a living thing for it. My mind and hands are actively engaged, and the satisfaction of creation is for me far better than passive means of relaxation such as TV.
Origami is even green, as the boxes can be used for a wide variety of purposes. My daughter and her friends have learnt to make these boxes, and use them instead of wooden or plastic boxes. When my daughter was in school, I had made a Christmas tree which she took to school. The next day half a dozen of her friends came home, all wanting to learn how to make the tree. The joy that you get when you see a square sheet of paper turning into a bird or a flower is something that you have to experience.
Pencil stands
Recently, I had a short origami workshop for children. Watching children wanting to learn this art and the joy on their faces when they see the final product is total happiness. This is a peaceful art, and one which has enriched my life. I will continue creating as long as I am able and teaching anyone who is interested.
Christmas tree
Origami is not a difficult art to learn. There are many videos available on YouTube from which this art can be learnt. One can start with the easy ones, the ones that are meant for children.
All Origami photographs courtesy author
Featured Image: Ravi Acharya holds an Origami workshop for children. Photograph: Silver Talkies
Ravi Acharya also teaches Origami. If you wish to learn from him or want him to conduct a workshop for a group of people, please write to us on connect@silvertalkies.com.
Bridget White Kumar recalls growing up in the mining town Kolar Gold Fields in Karnataka and how that shaped her interest in Anglo Indian food and its history.
Growing up in the British mining town of Kolar Gold Fields in the 1950s and 60s was quite like finding yourself in a little corner of England, reminisces Bridget White Kumar, 64, well known culinary consultant, cookbook author and most importantly, a custodian and researcher of Anglo-Indian cuisine.
Golden Memories
?In Kolar, which had many Anglo-Indian families, our upbringing was influenced to a great deal by the British,? Kumar says, going down memory lane. Since we are speaking close to Easter, she remembers what was the staple on the table during Good Friday, a day of abstinence for Christians. ?On Good Friday my mother would serve a vegetarian meal of Rice and Moong Dal Kanji or Porridge, if you wished to call it. We usually had it with papad or salter dry fish. My mother would add some jaggery to it. It was always a simple lunch menu on Friday.?
Food was out in full force on Easter Sunday though and Kumar remembers a huge ?total English breakfast? complete with sausages, bacon, fried eggs, mashed potatoes and the works. But it was usually lunch that saw the true flavours of Anglo Indian cuisine coming out. ?My mother would either serve a Coconut Rice or some kind of pulao, chicken curry and our famous Ball curry, a pork vindaloo perhaps with all the other accompaniments. For dinner, it would always be a roast, either a beef roast or a chicken roast, though we also had roast turkey when we were younger.?
Fowl was aplenty at KGF, as Kumar, who had four generations of her family living in KGF and a plethora of cousins, uncle and aunts, remembers. ?Each house had half an acre of land around the house and so we all had ?fowl runs? or enclosure for chicken, turkey or other livestock. They were quite big and you could comfortably walk in and out, she recalls.
KGF was a very British down in those days and while the lifestyle and way of living of most Anglo Indian families living there were influenced by the British, it probably had its most remarkable effect on food. It also helped that there was a variety of British foods and goods available at KGF in the early 50s. ?These were sold through stores like The English Warehouse, Spencers and Creswell, who stocked everything from Polson?s Butter, Coleman?s Mustard, Baked Beans, Quaker Oats to Kraft Cheese,? Kumar mentions, adding ?The food had become part of our lives.?
Gradually as the mines were nationalized in 1956, the social landscape of KGF Mines underwent a change. Most of the Britishers left and there was a huge exodus of many Anglo Indians too. Most of the younger Anglo-Indians like Kumar moved to study or work in Bangalore or Chennai. ?Many families moved out of KGF to be where their children were, though there are about 50 Anglo Indian families living in KGF, which still follow the older traditions.?
Nuggets of History
Kumar left KGF eventually to move to Bangalore but the nostalgia of a cosy, intimate childhood, filled with families, friends and the aroma of good food never quite left her. ?I was always nostalgic of my mum and grandmum?s cooking and the way they used ingredients. The old recipes were judicious in the use of spices, something unique to Anglo Indian food.? So Kumar, who had been handed down books with recipes from her mother and grandmother, started preserving them, researching more about Anglo-Indian food, it?s origin and influences. Anglo Indians trace their origins to the Britishers in India during colonial times. Over the years, intermarriages with Indians resulted in a community that followed many European traditions and customs, merged with local influences. Most of us would have heard of famous Anglo-Indian dishes like Dak Bungalow Chicken and Railway Mutton Curry. Anglo-Indian food took on a life of its own, drawing from British, Portuguese and even Dutch origins, peppered by local spices and other ingredients. It could truly be called the original ?fusion food? from India.
Bridget (On the triycle) with cousins in KGF
Interestingly enough, Anglo Indian food carries different influences from various parts of India, given that the community was settled in diverse places. ?Some recipes are pan India,? says Kumar, ?though ingredients could vary regionally. For instance, Anglo-Indian dishes originating from Calcutta have more mustard oil, while ours from the South tend to use more coconut.?
She has some more interesting nuggets up her sleeve. ?Did you know that some Anglo Indian food has Chinese and even Mughal influence? Or that the Portuguese had a large part to play in our cuisine and many of us have Portuguese blood is us? Our Vindaloo is in fact very different from the Goan Vindaloo!?
The Portuguese used preservatives like wine vinegar, tamarind and garlic as a method of preserving food and many of these influences show up in Anglo Indian cuisine. ?The addition of tamarind and vinegar in food to make it sour is all part of the Portuguese legacy,? she adds. Many Anglo Indian dishes have very interesting names. Kumar shares some of the origins. E.g., the famous Railway Mutton Curry was a direct product of the British Raj, when only East India Company officials and Indians from the upper strata of society travelled by train, considered an aristocratic form of transport. The trains came with very elegant and fancy dining cars attached fancy cars attached and food had to remain fresh throughout the journey. The Railway Mutton Curry got its name from those train journeys in style!
The other well-known dish, Daak Bungalow Chicken owes its name to the Daak Bungalows or Rest Houses along the postal route. Carriages would stop at these rest houses and the caretaker would prepare a dish, invariably chicken, as they were reared in house. Over the years, the recipe passed down from the original caretakers to their sons who would take over. The Lal Murgi Curry of today owes its origin to the chicken curry from the Daak Bungalows.
Preserving A Legacy
While the interest in preserving old preserving, learning about traditional techniques and researching food history was always there, Kumar went about it professionally after 2000, once she took voluntary retirement from Canara Bank, encouraged by her daughter who went overseas armed with a collection of recipes written by Kumar. ?She came back and told me how much her friends liked it and asked me to put all the recipes I had collected together in a book.?
The result, after a plethora of trials are four Anglo-Indian recipe books, including one exclusively on vegetarian dishes, something not many would associate Anglo Indian cuisine with. Her signature book, Anglo-Indian Cuisine ? A Legacy, won the Gourmand Cook Award 2012 in the Best Culinary History Book in India category. ?This prestigious Award is considered the Oscars for cookbook writers,? says Kumar, whose expertise has also seen her train chefs from some of the best hotels in Bangalore, Chennai and other cities. She conducts cooking workshops and demonstrations at hotels, restaurants and different groups and is always ready to share her passion with others. Women?s Groups, Corporate Offices, etc. Her training sessions have been held at the Taj West End Bangalore, The Taj Connemara Chennai among other hotels of the Taj Group.
Active with her research and creative work, Kumar is always brimming with ideas and says 24 hours are not enough. Her husband passed way five years ago and though the grief hasn?t quite gone, Kumar has kept herself occupied and says she?s quite happy in her own company. ?We should have something interesting going on in our life and have our own identity. I?ve kept myself busy so that I don?t brood? she says with equal measure of confidence, cmfort and wistfulness.
Kumar shares her recipe of Brindal Vindaloo on the occasion of Easter. With what else, but history attached.
BRINJAL VINDALOO (Aubergene or Eggplant Vindaloo)
Many Anglo-Indian dishes have a unique history behind their existence. The very popular and familiar curry dish ?Vindaloo? is derived from the Portugese word ?Vinha De Alhos?. ?Vinho?, meaning wine or wine vinegar, and ?Alhos?, meaning garlic. It was originally a ?vinegar and garlic? based watery stew made with pork or meat in Portugal. However, after the Portuguese introduced it in India, it was completely revamped with the addition of spices and chilies, and over the years it has become one of the spiciest and most popular curry dishes all over the world. Originally a Pork dish, Vindaloo later became popular using other types of meat, fish, poultry and even vegetables. I am sharing an easy recipe for a lip smacking Brinjal or Aubergene Vindaloo. The same recipe could be used to prepare Vindaloo with any other vegetables, fish, chicken, meat or pork.
Serves 6 Preparation time 45 minutes
Ingredients:
1 medium size whole seedless purple Brinjal
2 onions chopped
2 teaspoons chillie powder
½ teaspoon turmeric powder
2 teaspoons ginger garlic paste
1 teaspoon cumin powder
½ cup tomato juice / puree
2 pieces cinnamon about one inch in length
2 table spoons vinegar either white vinegar or malt vinegar
1 teaspoon sugar
Salt to taste
3 tablespoons oil
Remove the skin and cut the brinjal into medium size pieces and soak in salt water till required.
Heat the oil in a pan and sauté the onions till golden brown.
Add the ginger garlic paste and cinnamon and fry for some time.
Now add the chili powder, cumin powder, turmeric powder, sugar and tomato puree and fry till the oil separates from the mixture
Add the cut brinjals, vinegar and a little water and bring to boil.
Reduce heat and simmer till the gravy is sufficiently thick.
Please note: There is no need to garnish this dish with chopped coriander leaves as it would detract from the original taste.
All Photographs: Bridget White Kumar
We have a Christmas Special workshop coming up with Bridget. Click here to know more!
Elders’ Theatre is a unique concept that can offer several health and social benefits for senior citizens. Vijay Padaki and Vijji Chari of Bangalore Little Theatre Foundation aim to introduce the idea here.
Theatre is not an alien term for many senior citizens but a theatre workshop specifically designed for them is still a rarity in India. Elder’s theatre as a concept and form of drama designed specifically for older adults is popular overseas, with Wikipedia mentioning over 800 groups around the world. The techniques used in Elders’ Theatre involve storytelling, theatre games and other exercises and as Vijay Padaki, who along with corporate trainer and storyteller Vijji Chari is working towards introducing the concept in India puts it, is certainly more of a doing process rather than instructional. It involves elementary body management techniques such as breathing, diaphragm use, relaxation and simple folk dancing as well.
While being connected to a fairly established elder’s theatre program in Portland, US, Padaki realised that there was a lack of any such initiative here in India and decided to launch a pilot project. Padaki’s name needs no introduction in Bangalore’s theatre circle. A clinical psychologist and behavioural scientist by training, he has been active in theatre for over 55 years and is a founder member of Bangalore Little Theatre (BLT). He has teamed up with Vijji Chari, who has over 16 years of experience in Leadership Development. Trained in theatre based facilitation, Chari has designed and run theatre based workshops on areas such as handling power, diversity and inclusion and collaborative leadership. She also runs an initiative called By the River, that takes the joy of storytelling to adults.
The duo plan to launch an Elder’s Theatre Program for interested senior citizens of Bangalore as part of their community reach out. The Eight session program will have theatre based activities for, by and with elders. The aim of the program is to address issues both Padaki and Chari often observed about the senior citizens around them. “We see senior citizens giving up on their bodies, feeling that since we are older, this is all we can do. There is a sense of loneliness that also comes in. We wanted to change that and create a space that is fun; show that they are capable of so much more. We also wanted to create a sense of social bonding among the elderly,” she explains. Post the program. BLT would be happy to support a theatre-based performance that the participants would like to initiate for the community.
“If I can do certain things with body-mind-voice, why shouldn’t they?” That’s how Padaki, who’s in his 70s, puts it, though acknowledging that culturally it becomes difficult in India to open people’s minds towards programs such as this.
Elder’s Theatre & Its Benefits
The concept of elder’s theatre is simple, explains Padaki. “It’s the application of theatre methodology to a socially relevant area, similar to other applications, such as theatre in education, therapeutic theatre, theatre in community development, theatre in management, etc. The old saying may be recalled: Age is a state of the mind. Nowhere does this truism seem to apply more than in people’s attitudes to their bodies.
The Elders Theatre workshops mainly help elders discover what they are capable of and overcoming their psychological blocks, especially with regards to giving up on their bodies. Chari, who has conducted few Elders’ Theatre sessions at Chandrakiran, an apartment complex in Bangalore, says the benefits can be many from what she has observed. “It is super energising; The level of energy and visible action would have moved up several notches during the sessions; it is also wonderful to see the amount of laughter in the room and the lingering that happens afterwards. One of the biggest benefits of Elders’ Theatre, according to Padaki, is that it addresses good health and well being by influencing the mind via the body, personal growth by positive attitudes, questioning stereotypes of ageing and also gives senior citizens an avenue of arts appreciation.
Chari, who has always found a very positive response from senior citizens whenever she has held workshops was surprised by the outcome after holding a few sessions in an apartment in Bangalore, given the level of sharing and interactions that followed. “They (the group she worked with) were willing to expand their notion of what theatre is. I thought they would enjoy the storytelling theatre part more but they enjoyed the theatre games and were very active.”
It also helps to have Vijay Padaki, himself a senior citizen, coordinate an Elders’ Theatre workshop. “Vijay is one of the best facilitators I have experienced – and his skill is clearly seen in the way he connects to the audience and draws them in. He also is amazingly positive and non judgmental and that creates a sense of safety for participants to step out of their comfort zone,” Chari adds.
While she feels these aspects of his personality help him cut across diverse groups, the benefits show while working with elders. “Even before he starts to weave his magic – perhaps the participants feel “he is one of us” just by looking at him and he becomes the best role model given his own agility, spontaneity and sense of play – and that does create a safe space for participants to get in touch with their own spontaneity.”
This was obvious at an Elder’s Theatre introductory session Silver Talkies organised for members of Nightingale’s Elder’s Enrichment Centre in Bangalore with Padaki and Chari. Initially hesitant, the senior members gradually warmed up to the idea, participating in not just folk dance but also script reading sessions where they improvised their lines, using their body and voice. The idea is not to push anybody to participate but give them time to savour the experience and the space to engage at their pace and readiness. The result is usually magic. Chari sums it up perfectly. “The child in us is always there and our aim is to create a space where that child comes out.”
Age is no longer a limiting factor for many senior citizens. The retirement years open up many unexplored avenues for them and Elders’ Theatre could bring forth talents that have been lying low all these years. We hope more senior citizens experience the magic of Elder’s Theatre and the concept finds as much ground in India as it has in other countries.
Silver Talkies has partnered with Bangalore Little Theatre to introduce the concept of Elders’ Theatre to senior audiences across Bangalore as part of our social engagement initiative for the 60+. If you are part of a senior citizen community in an apartment or senior citizen’s group in Bangalore and wish to experience the magic of Elder’s Theatre, send us an email on connect@silvertalkies.com.
Photographs courtesy: Bangalore Little Theatre
Bedroom talk is not something Indian culture endorses openly, especially among older couples. But as experts will tell you, there’s no age limit for enjoying intimacy. Sexual and relationship therapist Dr. Sandip Deshpande breaks down the myths about sex after 60 for us.
In our mega metro cities where real estate is at a premium, it is not unusual for grandparents to sleep separately – the grandmother sharing a room with a grandchild and the grandfather sleeping in the living room. But is this only a consequence of limited space or are senior years the end of the road for intimacy? Sexual pleasure has several components and intercourse is just one end of the spectrum, while outer course is the larger portion of the spectrum, says Dr. Sandip Deshpande, Sexual & Relationship Therapist and Consultant Psychiatrist based in Bangalore. Here he debunks some of the deep-seated myths surrounding the area of sex after 60 and offers insights on how to create better relationships.
Men-o-pause is not true
So is there an upper limit when sexual life comes to a halt? No. Neither for men nor for women is there an upper age limit for enjoying intimacy. And sex does not necessarily mean intercourse. Even a man who cannot get an erection can be sexually active by non- intercourse related activity with his partner. Erections have two components –psychological and physiological. Among settled couples, the psychological component tends to taper off. Hence senior couples may need more physical stimulation by way of foreplay to get aroused. Arousal in women manifests as wetness in the vaginal area and this is related to their oestrogen levels. With menopause causing a dip in oestrogen levels, gynaecologists may prescribe oestrogen cream or supplements and/ or lubricants to compensate for lack of wetness.
Does Age Impact Intimacy?
Typically in men, orgasm tends to be short while women usually have a prolonged orgasm and, apparently, it doesn’t change much with age. However, in men, the rest stage gets longer with ageing – i.e., the time between two erections after ejaculation, and hardness, which range from minutes to hours in youth, changes to days as men age. How do these physiological changes impact intimacy in elders? Dr. Deshpande relates anecdotal examples of women who comment that they ‘don’t really care if the man is not getting an erection; why doesn’t he cuddle her like he used to before?’ Dr. Deshpande opines that typically the man is focused only on intercourse and believes that since he does not get an erection what’s the point of being physically intimate without achieving the end point.
However, this mindset in men invariably leaves their spouses feeling unwanted because they do not understand what has changed. The next thing that happens is that the relationship starts going downhill. There’s also another reason why sexual intimacy goes out of the window in senior years: Sexual gratification has two components – giving and receiving. So between a couple there are four dynamics – of the woman giving and receiving and ditto the man. When a woman initiates sex and does not get a positive response or vice versa then that partner will most likely conclude that since they have created their family, they no longer need to have sex.
A conflict situation only arises when one of the partners cannot reconcile to this idea and feel the need for sexual intimacy beyond procreation. Occasionally, couples may seek therapy for this. Clinical experience has shown that the best results in sex therapy occur when both partners agree to be counselled. But invariably, says Dr. Deshpande, “men who come in for treatment of erectile dysfunction do not bring their spouse even when I ask them to. Happily, there are a handful of cases where women have taken the initiative to walk in with their husbands for therapy.” This is an observation, not a generalisation, cautions Dr. Deshpande.
Reasons for Downhill Days
Sex does not happen in isolation; it is a part of the whole relationship between couples. In many couples, emotional issues that have been simmering throughout their married life, seem to boil over to the surface as they grow old and the relationship turns bitter. Sexual intimacy is usually the first casualty under the circumstances. In the context of sexual activity, the first stage is desire. Desire has two components to it: a) spontaneous and b) desire on partner stimulation. In a settled couple, there may be a desire mismatch. One of them may have a higher need to have sexual intimacy and the other not so. There may be several factors that cause this such as:
Medications & Health conditions: Lower testosterone levels are a natural consequence of ageing in men. In addition, certain health conditions such as mental depression, arthritis, diabetes etc., and the medications for these can affect physiologically too. For instance, diabetes among men affects blood flow to the penis thus causing erectile problems. Certain medications too may impact men more than women.
Chronic illness: Chronic illnesses such as cancer can lead to the spouse perceiving the person more as a patient and hesitate to initiate intimacy because they feel they may be forcing themselves on them. Days become weeks, weeks become months and the caregiver- patient dynamic replaces the earlier intimate-couple relationship.
Does Therapy Help?
There’s never a situation of ‘no hope’ for improving sexual intimacy at any age, insists Dr. Sandip Deshpande. “In India we are still struggling to establish the concept of sex therapy but in the West there are sex therapists for specific illnesses such as Multiple Sclerosis or Cancers where the condition itself or the use of radiation therapy can affect erectile function.” Dr. Deshpande cautions that medications for sexual dysfunction must only be taken under strict medical supervision and not purchased across the counter or on the Internet as these may be spurious and may also result in fatal side effects.
Creating Sexual Wellness
First and foremost, we need to break the taboo on intimacy among our elders. We need to stop the ‘why do they need to latch their bedroom’ or ‘why do they need a bedroom at all’ mindset. Instead, senior couples need to inculcate a culture of talking about ‘what do I like, what do you like, our desires, our needs, our feelings.’ Because a good relationship and sexual intimacy go hand in hand, it is important to redefine sexual intimacy in this phase of life. In order for this to happen, couples first need to share their innermost feelings, about what makes them feel sexually fulfilled without being prejudiced by mental conditioning of do’s and don’ts handed down to them by society.
In a culture that does not encourage intimacy how easy is it to switch on the communication pipelines? “It is possible and it works,” says Dr. Deshpande with conviction. He illustrates this with the case of a couple whose relationship took a nose dive after the husband retired and became intrusive in even minor domestic matters. Soon their home turned into a battlefield with each having a separate kitchen. It was their grownup kids who sought help for them, says Dr. Deshpande. As the counselling for this couple progressed it revealed that the wife was also upset over their non-existent sex life while the husband, a diabetic, did not feel the need for it. Gradually, with therapy, they came around to the level of sharing their feelings comfortably.
Incidentally, senior couples have the advantage of being aware of each other’s limitations and quirks. Occasionally, this prompts them to take their therapy to the next level for specific suggestions to increase intimacy with the help of sexual props such as wooden dolls. For example, if one of them has arthritis they can be suggested specific sexual positions that are kind on their joints. There are no rules and no limits for sex therapy; it all depends on how far the couple wants to take their journey. “Becoming aware of feelings and needs is the key to a fulfilling sexual relationship among ageing couples,” says Dr. Deshpande. “It’s not just the sexual intimacy that gets better but the benefits of a robust sexual relationship can have an exponentially benign effect on individual well-being. This much is evident from my experience as a therapist,” comes Dr. Deshpande’s closing statement.
Dr. Sandip Deshpande is the Founder of Happy Relationships, an online platform for sexual education and therapy. You can find out more on his website www.happyrelationships.in
Email: docsandypande@gmail.com
Featured Image courtesy: Pixabay
Retired army man Brigadier Suryanarayanan’s book Many Laughs and A Few Tears is a fascinating account of life in the army and after it. It is also an observation of society, people and cultural norms.
Many Laughs and a Few Tears is a book that has something for everyone. Memories of a life in the army? Check. Musings on social norms and ways of life? Check. Stories from a time gone by? Check. What made the book very interesting was to see the wealth of memory that is stored in this veteran’s mind. His ready wit is also on hand to add a dash of humour to a number of observations — right from hard to pronounce notes in Tamil to Talkative Indians chattering away on their mobile phones!
Brigadier Suryanarayanan is an acclaimed writer of middle columns in newspapers. Many of his articles have appeared in Silver Talkies too and you can read them here. What makes the 53 stories in this book stand out the most are his army recollections. Accustomed to reading humour laced pieces by him, it was rather touching to read the chapter on his ‘Reminiscences From War.’ There are recollections of colleagues who fell to an enemy bullet, snatches of guilt at having survived while a friend fell and a peek into how transient life can be for army personnel, especially those facing the enemy.
The Brigadier has suffered two personal tragedies in life. Yet as you read his writings, what shines through is his spirit and positive attitude. He seems to see humour in almost every situation. It is also perhaps the best way to deal with the cards that life has dealt him. As I read his tongue-in-cheek musing on retirement and its after effects, what stood out for me was the light for him at the end of the retirement tunnel – time spent with his granddaughter!
There are some endearing glimpses into the Brigadier’s personal life, like an account of how he became a grinder for Idli-Dosa batter, until he bought his wife a Sumeet mixer. Like everything else, this too is edged by subtle, unmistakable humour. You can almost imagine the Brigadier sitting on an easy chair, remembering old times with a chuckle. Other endearing accounts include meeting his wife in Dehradun in 1966, when he would rush 14 ams each way on his Lambretta, just to see the love of his life walk to college and back. The innocence is what stood out for me here. What simple times! Which ardent admirer would battle traffic and do that now? The simpler times and days gone by are aptly represented in this book and readers will enjoy glimpses into slices of history here. The retired Brigadier is also a person who can laugh at himself and makes light of awkward moments in one chapter. At the same time, he is also observant of the society around him, as evident in chapters like ‘Dignity of Labour.’ His thoughts on ‘Who is a hero?’ is as poignant and incisive and makes you think of the brave people in the army, many of whom are never recognised despite making the ultimate sacrifice.
Brigadier Suryanarayanan’s observant style of writing is echoed through the book, which makes for an interesting read, especially for those who are curious about life in the army, encounters with legends like Sam Maneckshaw and others and memories of a time gone by. Brigadier Suryanarayanan has self published this book and the proceeds from its sale will go to AVN Foundation, an educational trust for poor and meritorious students in Chennai. It’s an interesting collection of tales from a life well lived, with dignity, courage and good humour.
You can buy the book directly from Brigadier Suryanarayanan by emailing him on surivini@gmail.com or calling him on 919845254542.
A retirement home with social engagement opportunities can be a blessing for many seniors, enhancing the quality of life.
Shankaran Kutty has been residing at a Covai home since 2010. When he checked into the retirement home he thought he was done with life because the word ‘retirement home’ sounded depressing and lonely. But six years hence, the septuagenarian vivaciously admits that he was wrong. “I feel like an eighteen-year-old instead,” he says.
So, what caused the 180 degree turn? “The environment, the culture and the company of fellow seniors at the community has made all the difference,” says Kutty, speaking for many residents of the senior friendly community.
Dr. Anupama Gangavati, Geriatric Consultant at Apollo Hospitals, Bangalore, explains it further. “Retirement homes or senior friendly communities give opportunities for seniors to be socially and physically active. Meeting other like-minded people and having stimulating conversations can improve mental and physical well-being. One is more likely to engage in physical exercise if they see other seniors engaging in similar physical exercise. They are more likely to eat a balanced diet. Seniors in such communities are more likely to engage in social activities such as laughter clubs, reading clubs and senior citizen clubs. All these activities further help in maintenance and management of chronic conditions, such as diabetes and heart disease and can in turn lead to healthy ageing.”
Pratibha Iyer (name changed), stays alone in a big apartment community in South Bangalore. She recently bought herself a home in an upcoming retirement community project. Iyer explains her reasons for investing in a retirement community, “It can get a little lonely out here as people are caught up in their daily lives, with no time for their neighbours. I am hoping, as I age in a retirement home with peers who are in similar boats, we will find more reasons to bond.”
The senior citizens at Covai
An Idea For The Future
Col. Achal Sridharan of Covai Retirement Communities has been building such communities since 2004. “The thought of spending old age alone with my wife, away from our daughters, egged me to launch our first senior housing project, Soundaryam Comfort and Retirement Homes in Coimbatore, with 48 villas. The project was a success and we went on to build many more across South India.” Today the company offers services and care to 130 dwellings in COVAI S3 Retirement Communities, Coimbatore, housing about 250 seniors. By 2018, there will be an additional 1100 senior families under COVAI Care from Bengaluru, Pune, Coimbatore and Goa.
All these retirement communities, whether stand alone or integrated with a bigger township, offer its residents all sorts of comfort and care. The homes and the facilities are equipped to handle ageing residents. Daily chores like cooking, cleaning etc. are taken care of. Medical facilities are available 24 x 7. Security solutions are modern and up to date. Assistance is available in form of concierge services, leaving ample time for seniors to engage in more productive activities like tending their own vegetable patch, meditating or just playing a game of chess with fellow residents. Covai Homes come equipped with all modern facilities, including 24×7 security systems, CCTV, electronic fencing, electronic emergency alarm systems, home automation systems like lights with sensor for toilets, as well as Pressalit Care Bathroom Solutions from Denmark, making these properties senior friendly. Services offered include catering, housekeeping, medical check-ups, doctor on call, nurses, caregivers, plumber, electrician, carpenter, travel services and 24-hour emergency services. The clubhouse offers indoor games like carom, cards, table tennis, chess and has a well-equipped gym, yoga centre, library, Wellness Centre, Ayurveda and physiotherapy facilities.
S3 Retirement Communities from Covai
Why Social Interaction Matters The Most
However, it is the social interaction that is the icing on this delectable cake. Dr. Gangavati cannot emphasize it enough, “Being socially active is extremely important for physical and cognitive wellbeing. Social isolation is a strong risk factor for memory loss and depression which can further lead to functional dependence. One to three hours of social time decreases stress and increases happiness, which in turn prevents depression and helps prevent memory loss. Being socially active results in active engagement of the brain which stimulates the brain and helps in forming new neurons (nerve cells), which has been shown in some studies.”With so many positives, retirement homes may still see a further increase in their uptake, especially by those seniors who are socially isolated and left alone, after their children move away from the nests. Affordability may be the only challenge to be addressed.
To know more about Covai Retirement projects visit www.covaicare.com
Veena Gidwani’s ‘The I’ve No Time To Cook Book’ is a collection of easy to make recipes and kitchen tips for those who are hard pressed for time when it comes to cooking or trying their hand at it for the first time.
When Veena Gidwani, 66, decided to write her first cook book, she was determined to put together an easy guide to delicious and nutritious home cooking. A working professional all her life (she continues to freelance), Veena was always intrigued with the way her younger colleagues would struggle to put together a regular meal all because they found it “difficult, time consuming and messy” and decided to find a solution to it.
Her The I’ve No Time To Cook Book puts together her experience over the years through recipes specially designed to accommodate the ‘pressed for time young men and women’ who live away from their homes and end up missing home food simply because they have no time to cook. The book is also aimed at young families, couples and college students. “The easy to make recipes for all meals of the day can be made in minutes,” Veena writes in her forward. She shares simple tips learnt from years of cooking besides covering the basics of setting up of a functional kitchen for the uninitiated. “The idea was to cater to everyday cooking with basic ingredients, using no complicated gadgets and few or minimal utensils,” says the strategic public relations consultant, who alongside her long and fulfilling career in Public Relations, also managed her home and children, besides nurturing her passion for cooking.
“I grew up in a joint family surrounded by my grandmother, mother and aunts, watching them dish out mouth-watering Sindhi delicacies. We also had a maharaj (traditional cook) from Uttar Pradesh,” says Veena, who runs a food channel on India Food Network/Simply Sindhi on You Tube, besides being a food columnist and a blogger for many years now. Food formed an integral part of her growing years, having being exposed to a large repertoire of cuisines. Later, as a professional woman who had long working hours, she felt the need to put together easy to make meals that could be healthy as well as tasty for her family.
The recipes are both traditional and modern, a selection that would appeal to different age groups and tastes. “The trick is to keep it varied for every part of the day, and also use leftover food,” comes Veena’s advice. The book has a delicious mix of soups, salads, curries and short eats from across the country, food that one would eat every day. It also has an interesting spread on how to use up leftover food — from left over aloo (potatoes) or other dry vegetable to left over white rice, idlies, boiled eggs, sweet sevaiyan (vermicelli) and even bread. “Food habits have changed from the time I was a child when we stuck to Sindhi cuisine at home,” says Veena. She has also appeared on several food shows on television.
“Today we are no longer satisfied eating just dal chawal. We have all types of cuisines and should try to build it in our food selection especially while cooking at home,” she says. From Paneer Dhoklas to Kheema cutlets, a simple French toast, fish in methi, Prawn Coconut curry, Sindhi Aloo Mattar, Palak Raita to a simple Dal Khichadi, she has put together an awesome mix of everyday food with her soul curries. The Dahi Kadhi for instance is a simple preparation and was done in minutes when we tried it out, with the help of her simple, straight to the point instructions. Cooking should not be considered a drudgery but as a means of stress buster and a way to unleash creativity, Veena wants to say.
“Earlier girls could cook, now it has all changed. They are clueless and my book will help such people,” says Veena who feels that cooking can no longer be relegated to being a woman’s job. “Men are also cooking now. Youngsters should also try and cook at home. I wanted to inspire as many as I could.”
And inspire she does, as she strives to keep herself mentally stimulated and be at peace with herself. Age is no bar when it comes to start learning and Veena has recently started learning the Sindhi script. She plays Bridge, loves to go for musical concerts and read. “I feel there is a lot to do, each day brings with it a new experience,” she concludes.
Here is a recipe from Veena’s book. Enjoy!
If you are a senior citizen above 60 years living in Bangalore, here are some details on the Senior Citizen Card, with a personal anecdote from author and naturalist Deepa Mohan.
My Senior Citizen card was stolen, along with other documents, on 23rd June 2016 on a bus (Route no. 366) between Richmond Circle and MICO Checkpost bus stop in Bangalore.
Since I’d got my card from the office of the Jayanagar MLA, Vijaya Kumar, I went there again. I was told that there is no proper process in place for replacing lost cards, so I took a form and applied once again. I did this on 27th June 2016. I was told that there was no charge, and that I could come back to the office in about a month’s time, to pick up the card. On the 22nd of July, I was passing the office and decided to drop in and find out if my card had come. It had, and I got it without any further ado. I am very impressed with the clean and transparent process for getting the Senior Citizen card, even though there is no replacement process in place.
If you are in South Bangalore, you can get the card from here:
Jayanagar MLA, Vijaya Kumar
Address: 35th Cross, 18th Main Road, 4th T Block Jayanagar – 560041
Tel: 9448075433
Email: vijayakuma.jnr@gmail.com
If you click on the link, here, you will get a video of how to get there, too!
— By Deepa Mohan
This post first appeared in Citizen Matters.
About The Senior Citizen Card
In Bangalore you can obtain the Senior Citizen Card from the following places:
Dignity Foundation
You need: Two passport size photos and age proof.
You can attach Xerox copies of the following for age proof: Pan Card, Passport copy, Driving licence, Aadhar card or ration card as well as School mark-sheet.
Rs 50 is the fee if collected personally.
Rs 75 /-if the card should be sent by courier.
Contact Details:
Dignity Foundation
No.33K.V.Layout
4th Block
Jayanagar
Bangalore 560011
Tel: 080-26542229
http://www.dignityfoundation.com/Senior-Citizens-Id-Card.aspx
Nightingales Medical Trust
What you need:
1. Proof of age (one of the following):
Birth certificate
School/college leaving certificate
Election card
Passport (not expired)
PAN Card or pension card
If none available obtain doctor’s certificate from Government Hospitals or Municipal Dispensary regarding age.
2. Proof of name: The name given on the form should be the same as indicated in the supporting document. If the name has changed, proof of Govt. Gazette publication should be submitted or marriage certificate produced.
3. Proof of residence: In order of preference: ration card/ valid passport/ election card.
4. Doctor’s certificate: Required for blood group, illness/diseases, medication in use, and medication allergies. The certificate has to be produced on a legitimate doctor’s letterhead with his/her signature, stamp & registration number. A practitioner of Indian medicine with registered number can also certify.
5. Photographs: 3 stamp size photos. Stick 2 photos on white form and stick 1 photo on the pink form.
6. Rs.50/- (official government charge)
Senior Citizen ID Cards Location: No: 337, 2nd Cross, 1st block , RT Nagar, Kasturinagar, Banaswadi, Bangalore – 560032
Tel: 080 42423535/42423535/9731447634
To know more, click here http://www.nightingaleseldercare.com/index.php/senior-citizen-id-cards
How does the card help
The senior citizen card offers discounts and benefits offered by the Government of India. Any person above the age of 60 years and holding a senior citizens card can enjoy these benefits. Some of these include:
* Reservation of two seats for senior citizens in front row of the buses of the State Road Transport Undertakings.
* Fare concession to senior citizens in the State Road Transport Undertaking buses offered by some state governments.
* 30% fare concession offered by Indian Railways.
* Income tax relief
The ID card also enables elders to utilise the various benefits available to them, in hospitals, labs, medical shops and other places.
(The above picture has been used for representation purposes only)
A large number of urban Indian senior citizens are spending their time online. Here’s a ready reckoner on the basic steps they can take to stay safe online.
Indrani Mohanty, 67, connected with her childhood friends from school recently on Facebook. Overjoyed at discovering some of them lived in the same city, they started exchanging messages, sharing phone numbers and asking about each others’ families on their Facebook timelines. “It came as a shock to me when my daughter asked me to delete all the messages from my Facebook and make the photos I was sharing, private. I did not have any idea this information was public and could be used in a negative way,” says Mrs Mohanty, who has since then taken the conversations offline and changed the settings on her page from public to private.
UR Jain, 78, is active online and frequently checks airline deals to visit his sons and daughters. “Recently, I saw an email offering cheap tickets and was about to click it to avail the offer. However, I called to confirm with my daughter in law, who advised me not to click on the link but visit the actual site separately and see if the offer was really there. That’s when I realized it was fake.”
Senior citizens are increasingly online.
Photograph: Silver Talkies
The number of senior citizens using social media and spending time online it is on the rise in Urban India. According to data available on Facebook, there are 1,100,000 Indians over 50 on the social media platform. While social media is an important platform to remain connected with family and friends in different parts of the world and revive old contacts, digitally savvy seniors can also go online to make bookings, order groceries and save time and commute and make life simpler. The advantages may be many but there are also precautions that you need to keep in mind. Intrusion analyst and Cybersecurity expert Shomiron Dasgupta, founder, Netmonastery Network Security Pvt Ltd, offers some guidelines for senior citizens on how to stay safe online.
Also read, How Senior Citizens Can Avoid Banking Frauds & Voice Phishing.
Meena Vohra is a ceramic artist based in Noida, Uttar Pradesh and teaches people from all walks of life in her studio. Her love for life, creativity and enthusiasm is famous among her students. We did a feature on her some years ago. Here?s yet another creative aspect of her through some poems she sent us.
In Contemplation Deep within us,
There hums,
A subtle power,
That guides us,
In every aspect.Those eternal values,
Make our vision,
Clear n Coherent ,
In this confusing world.Let?s not lose sight,
Of our purpose,
And work for ,
A meaningful life.
Hues of Life
It?s for us to fill in the Hues,
give meaning,
to the Greens and the Blues,
make it the replica,
of our inner self .?He? just draws ,
the Outline .
To read more on ceramic artist Meena Vohra or find out about her classes, click here.
Here’s a recipe of traditional Gujarati dish Daal Dhokli from cookbook author Bhanu Hajratwala
Bhanu Hajratwala
Bhanu Hajratwala was raised in a traditional Gujarati family in the Fiji Islands where she developed her taste for authentic homemade Gujarati dishes. When she moved to the United States after marriage, she learned to improvise and maintain authentic flavors, despite the limited availability of ingredients. She has compiled several cookbooks for community organizations, recipes for worship during ceremonies and has conducted cooking demonstrations and classes throughout the United States and in New Zealand, Fiji, India, and Australia. Bhanu Hajratwala’s book ‘Gujarati Kitchen – Family Recipes for the Global Palate’ is a book for all Gujarati cuisine lovers across the world. The book is aimed at opening vistas for Gujarati food, made popular by the likes of Dhokla, Thepla and Khandvi, in more and more kitchens while also preserving traditional recipes which have never been catalogued before. So while you will find the usual suspects in Hajratwala’s book you would also realise there are many undiscovered gems of this increasingly popular cuisine. Here’s her recipe of Daal Dhokhali.
Daal Dhokli or Spicy Pasta in Daal
Preparation time: 1 hour (does not include soaking time)
Serves 4-6
Soak split pigeon peas (tuvar daal) in 4 cups water for at least 2 hours or overnight. This is a wholesome meal in itself and is delicious on cold days.
To make Fresh Masala
½ inch ginger, peeled
1 garlic clove, peeled
1 fresh green chilli, decapped
½ inch fresh turmeric, peeled or ½ tsp turmeric powder
1 tbsp oil
1 tbsp lemon juice
Grind above ingredients together and set aside.
To Make Daal
1 cup split pigeon peas (tuvar daal),soaked
4 cups water
1 large tomato
1 sweet potato (yam), 2-3 inch piece, peeled, halved
1 large tomato
2 inch slice of eggplant
1 tbsp salt
Prepared Fresh Masala
1 tsp turmeric powder
1½ tbsp coriander powder
½ tbsp cumin powder
3 tbsp lemon juice
3 tbsp sugar or ¼ cup jaggery (gor, gur)
6 cups water
4 kokam (optional)
1/8 cup peanuts (optional)
1 tbsp grated coconut (optional)
6 fresh green chillies, halved lengthwise
10-12 curry leaves
Method
Wash and drain split pigeon peas.
In a medium covered pot, add split pigeon peas and 4 cups of water. Add tomato, sweet potato, eggplant, and salt.
Bring to boil. Let cook covered on low medium heat for about 30 minutes untilsplit pigeon peas are completely cooked. (If using pressure cooker, use only 3 cups of water)
Remove from heat. Mix with an electric or handheld mixer until daal, sweet potato, and tomato are well blended.
Mix in Fresh Masala, turmeric, chilli, coriander, and cumin powders. Add lemon juice, sugar, and 6 cups water and mix well. Add kokam, peanuts, coconut, fresh chillies, and curry leaves and set aside.
To Make Dhokli
2 cups whole wheat flour
1 tsp chilli powder
½ tsp turmeric powder
2 tsp carom seeds (ajmo, ajwain)
2 tsp salt
2 tbsp shortening
2/3 cup + 2 tbsp water
1 tsp oil
Oil for rolling board and rolling pin
Method for Dhokli
In a medium bowl combine flour, chilli, and turmeric powders, ajwain, and salt. Mix well. Rub in shortening.
Add water and knead into pliable dough.Divide dough into 6 equal parts.
Lightly oil rolling board and rolling pin.
Roll one part of the dough thinly to a large circle 10-12 inches in diameter. Cut into strips in two directions, creating diamond shapes about 1½ inches wide.
Transfer Dhokhali on a tray or wax paper. Set aside.
Repeat with the remaining five parts of the dough.
To Make Daal Dhokli
Bring daal to a boil and let simmer.
Gently add dhokhali pieces into the simmering daal. Stir gently frequently. After the last dhokhali is added, let boil for 5 minutes. Stir often.
The consistency of the daal varies from family to family. To make a thicker consistency, boil longer. To make thinner consistency, add ½ cup of water or more as desired.
Remove from heat.
To Temper Daal Dhokli
2 tbsp melted ghee
4 dried red chillies
½ tsp fenugreek seeds
½ tsp mustard seeds
½ tsp cumin seeds
¼ tsp asafoetida
¼ cup fresh chopped coriander leaves
Heat ghee in a small covered pot.
Add chillies, fenugreek and mustard seeds and let pop.
Add cumin seeds, let brown.
Add asafoetida.
Pour ghee mixture into daal and cover to prevent splattering.
Add coriander leaves and mix.
Serve hot topped with a teaspoon of ghee.
Serving Suggestion
Serve with plain yogurt and papad.
Note
Will keep in refrigerator for up to 7 days.
Heat and serve.
To know more about Bhanu Hajratwala, check out www.gujaratikitchen.com
Shirdi is known as the land of Sai Baba as this is where He stayed for many years. Nidhi Chawla went on a spiritual journey to Shirdi recently and shares her travel experiences for all those who wish to visit this revered land.
The Chavadi; All Pics: Silver Talkies
Destination Shirdi
Shirdi is located in Maharashtra and is accessible by road and train.If taking a flight, the nearest airports are located in Nashik, Aurangabad, Pune and Mumbai. The nearest rail stations are Sainagar Shirdi, Ahmednagar, Kopargaon and Manmad. We flew down to Pune from Bangalore and then hired a taxi to take us to Shirdi, about 200 km away.
Tip # 1 – Most of the road journey is easy as the roads are good but the last 85 km were treacherous and hard on the back as the road was in a bad shape. Alternate routes are available so please do check with your driver. As for staying in Shirdi, there are multiple options available to suit every budget. We stayed at Marigold Regency, about a kilometre away from the temple. The rooms were good as was the food and the service. The hotel also has a 24 hour shuttle service available to and from the temple.
Vegetarian food is what you will get here in the town and you can try a new hotel for every meal as there are many restaurants around the temple area.
Dwarka mai with main temple dome in the background
Places of religious significance
One who is a follower of Sai Baba may know about all the main places in the town associated with Baba’s life in Shirdi and all the related stories. Hence when I got to see these places for real it seemed like a fantasy come true.
Samadhi Mandir – The main temple is called the Samadhi Mandir and is Baba’s burial place. Constructed as Wada or a private house with a temple, the house ended up being Baba’s final resting place as per His desire which He is said to have communicated to some of His beloved devotees. The Samadhi Mandir houses a big white marble statue of Sai Baba next to His burial place.
The temple is open from 4 AM – 11.15 PM daily and Aarti is offered four times a day. The early morning Aarti called as Kakad Aarti is considered to be the most significant one and is offered at 4.30 AM. The other Aartis are at 12 noon, sunset and at 10.30 PM.
Tip # 2 – For easy access to attend the Aarti, it is advised to buy a pass for the Aarti of your choice in advance. These can be bought online at https://www.shrisaibabasansthan.org/index.html.
Non-pass holders can attend Aarti too but they get access to the queues after the pass holders have been let in.
Tip #3 – If you wish to attend Kakad Aarti i.e., the early morning Aarti, it is advised that you make the booking 2-3 months in advance as passes for the same are most in demand, hence more difficult to get.
Tip #4 – A devotee can visit the temple any time during the opening hours. However if pressed for time or if faced with long queues, you can view Baba’s idol either through a window in the temple wall or from an area called Mukh Darshan from where you can see Baba’s idol from a distance.
Tip #5 – Certain times of the day see huge crowds thronging the temple so if you want to beat them locals advise the ideal time to visit the temple is around 6.30-7 AM.
Around the Samadhi Mandir lies Lendi Bagh where Baba used to go for walks regularly and also tend to plants there. The temple compound also has the resting places of some of His beloved devotees like Tatya Kote Patil and Nanavalli. Also here is a museum that houses articles and clothes used by Baba Himself. The temple compound also houses Gurusthan, the neem tree where Baba was found for the first time in Shirdi when He was a young boy.
Entrance to Shani Shignapur
Dwarka Mai – This is the famous mosque where Baba used to live and also meet His devotees. On display in Dwarka Mai are some of the kitchen tools that were used by Baba during His stay here.
Chavadi – A few meters away from Dwarka Mai is Chavadi where Baba would sleep every alternate night. A palanquin procession is still taken every Thursday night from Dwarka Mai to Chavadi to commemorate this ritual.
Shani Shignapur – Close to Shirdi in Ahmednagar district (70 km away) is the famous Shani Shignapur, a temple devoted to Lord Shani, the Hindu God associated with planet Saturn. Most people visiting Shirdi go to this temple too.
In a nutshell my first trip to Shirdi was a gratifying one, bringing a lot of peace and calm. Navigating crowds and queues may seem a deterrent but given that the whole process is duly managed by Shirdi Sai Sansthan Trust, it is worth a trip if you are a devotee of Sai Baba.
Nidhi Chawla is the co-founder of Silver Talkies
Members of the 50+Voyagers Travel & Adventure Club have done everything from heritage holidays to river rafting. It?s founder Sangita Bhattacharya tells us how they aim to promote healthy & active ageing. By Reshmi Chakraborty.
The 50+ Voyagers Club on a trip to Periyar in Kerala
Travel and adventure clubs are usually synonymous with the younger generation. But the Bangalore based 50+Voyagers Travel & Adventure Club is set to prove them wrong. Started by former IT professional Sangita Bhattacharya, the eligibility criteria for membership in this travel and adventure club for seniors is age. Members need to be 50 years old or more to join the club.
Get Them Going
The idea of starting a travel & adventure club for seniors came to Bhattacharya when she organised few tours and itineraries for her own parents and parents of her friends. As an IT professional, she had travelled all over the world and given her natural inclination towards travel, was keen on getting into the tourism sector. Through her work and personal travels she also came across seniors from overseas and from India who loved to visit other countries and enjoy their life, including older people she met on treks to Annapurna and Kailash Mansarovar among others. ?I realised that senior citizens do travel but there needs to be something different for them,? Bhattacharya says. She did her research and spoke to many senior citizens and realised that while travel firms did have tours for seniors, the individual attention, exclusivity and attention to detail was often missing from these. The club was set up in November 2013 in Koramangala, Bangalore.
Entry to the 50+ Travel & Adventure Club is membership based. At the moment, the membership is Rs. 300 for a year, with which one club event comes
A trip to Munnar, Kerala
free. ?Once people travel with us they automatically become members,? Bhattacharya adds, saying that she travels with each group and plans to keep it that way for sometime at least. Most members of the club also become friendly after a tour and also invite their friends to take membership. Bhattacharya adds that their returning customer base is high and most of their publicity is word of mouth. Some of their interesting tours so far have been five days in Kerala, where the travellers stayed in a heritage hotel, enjoyed backwater boat rides and immersed themselves in the local tradition.
The Differentiating Factor
Being an avid traveller herself, Bhattacharya says she is aware that there needs to that something extra to make a trip stand out for her senior travellers. ?We keep the group size to 12 people max. We also try to make the experience localised, e.g., in Kerala they get to see the kathakali and kalaripayattu dance forms and sample local cuisine if they wish.? Since the group size is small, the stay is usually in one of a kind boutique hotels and Bhattacharya is able to cater to diverse dietary needs as well.
She is constantly learning from the experiences she shares with the members of 50+ Travel & Adventure Club and mentions that it is important to take their needs and likes into account while planning the itinerary. ?E.g., in one of our initial trips to Jodhpur, we had a minor hiccup when we realised the rooms booked in the heritage hotel were on a higher floor and difficult to access for some of our members. While we were able to get that changed, it was a learning experience for us because I had selected the hotel based on what I had liked and would have gone for.?
The members of this travel club have even gone rafting to Rishikesh apart from several short trips near Bangalore, where the club is based, though membership is open to all 50 plus folks across India. Bhattacharya likes to give her members time to explore places when they are on a tour. ?Our members like to have fun,? she says. There is a lot of singing and dancing in all our trips and in the end it doesn?t matter if they missed out on seeing something from the itinerary. What matters is that they had fun!?
Being a Member
Taking in heritage and culture
While many elders enrol in the club on their own, Bhattacharya mentions that children too often inquire and encourage their parents to join. While for most elderly, the enquiry revolves around the price, their children are concerned about safety, doctor availability and food related issues. Bhattacharya ensures gathering important details like doctor availability, ambulance and police stations at each place before they visit.
All 50 plus people are welcome to join the club, though there are some restrictions, mostly dependent on their health and the location they are travelling to. ?For instance, we wouldn?t advise asthmatic people to travel to Ladakh and Arunachal Pradesh,? Bhattacharya shares an example. So far, most people in the travel club are fit and in the average age range of 60 to 65 years.
She also has several seniors who are single. Interestingly, out of the 150 members who are part of the club, 30 are single women!
While the club itself is based in Bangalore, tours are open to people all over India. An upcoming tour to Kashmir has people joining from Delhi & Kolkata, apart from Bangalore. Bhattacharya ensures that there are enough icebreakers included in the itinerary, in the form of team building exercises, tam bola and others to enable seniors to interact and build a bond with each other. She recounts a group of seniors who met at the club and now meet each other over lunch.
Bhattacharya feels that more disposable income, better health, children earning well and living on their own are factors that contribute to senior travel. Her aim is to give them a curated experience that is nothing but special and promote active and healthy living. With upcoming trips to Kashmir, Ladakh, Turkey and Thailand, she?s all set to do that.
To know more about the club or find out an upcoming itinerary visit their Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/50plusvoyagers or go to their website http://www.50plusvoyagers.com/.
All photographs courtesy 50+Voyagers Travel & Adventure Club.
Travel agencies are increasingly offering special tours for senior citizens. Online presence, financial security and social changes are all contributing factors. We look at some senior-friendly travel agencies.
Plan your travel well
Age is just a number, a state of mind, especially in the context of finding time to explore the world. Travelling is one of the most therapeutic activities to indulge in and the post retirement phase is by far the most viable time to make up for the years spent attending to the call of duty at work and home. But travelling for senior citizens isn't always effortless. With age, come restrictions and consequently, hindrances of many kind. Even so, senior citizens who wish to travel do so no matter how old they are, and thanks to several Indian tour agencies, their wish is being agreeably attended to.
Travel for Seniors
To begin with, Flight Shop, a New Delhi-based retail travel brand of Flight Centre Travel Group Limited, specialises in Coach Tours for retired couples who like to travel with like-minded people. The tours are organised with all necessary inclusions like guides, transport, meals and sightseeing to ensure a comfortable stay. Vicki Parris, National Brand Leader India, Flight Shop, explains, ?Times are changing and elderly couples are now confident about taking adventure holidays. They want to explore the world. From requesting wine-tasting tours to cooking tours in Europe, from visiting the Great Wall of China to the famous gardens of Japan, they are eager to see it all.
From culture to adventure, senior travellers want all kinds of experiences
Mumbai-based travel agency Kesari Tours has been organising customized and group tours for senior citizens for the past six to seven years. The inspiration to launch specific tours for senior citizens took root when Veena, the then Managing Director of the agency watched the film Lage Rago Munna Bhai (2006), in which a bunch of elderly men and women were seen holidaying in Goa. Shortly after the film was released, she launched Second Innings, the power-packed specialty tour packages for senior citizens. Zelum Chaubal, the current director at Kesari says, It's commonly perceived that old people wish to visit pilgrim sites, but no one comes looking for pilgrimages. They want to feel good themselves and we do just that ? organize cricket matches, fashion shows complete with ramp walks, dance competitions and more. Till date, the agency has successfully organised both national and international tours to Sri Lanka, Russia, Thailand, Singapore, and Goa for more than a 100 people for 50-year-olds and above.
Age No Bar
While the above travel agencies focus specifically on group tours for senior citizens, Karan Anand, Head of Relationships, Cox & Kings somewhat disagrees with the categorization on the basis of age. ?Elderly people don?t want to feel old and by grouping them together we?re doing just that. Earlier, we had specific packages for senior citizens, but overtime, thanks for their feedback, we realised that they don?t wish to travel in groups, especially with people their age. They prefer independent tours, with partners and friends, and sign up for the things that all young people do.
Of course, every itinerary comes with key suggestions for the seniors to help them make the most of the trip and not get unwell or tired. Walking is the best way to get around Europe, but we advise and remind the senior citizens to walk less. Switzerland, for example, is known for its driving holidays and most can afford a car to drive around, but it's advisable for them to take trains, which offer equally scenic views, because the long, winding roads can make them giddy, he adds.
Special packages make it easy for many seniors to travel
Silver Specials
Not everyone thinks the same way. Thomas Cook, one of India's leading tour and travel operators have launched Silver Breaks tours, both national and international, that are specially designed for the elderly.
Each tour is planned keeping the travellers age in mind, porterage services are provided wherever required, special dietary needs are taken care of, there?s on-trip medical assistance and elder-friendly hotels are hand-picked. Next in line is Delhi-based Tangent Inc. that offers Young by Heart tour packages designed with great care and supervision, wherein a physiotherapist and escort person accompany the group to ensure optimum comfort. The agency also arranges special tours for those interested in yoga.
Talking about special tours for senior citizens, Pune-based travel agency Insearch Outdoors specialises in nature trails, resident jungle safaris or camps and other outdoor activities. Their Senior Citizens Nature Club is one where folks above 50 can participate and explore nature at a leisurely pace.
Also in line is Navbharat, yet another travel agency that arranges special senior citizens tours under their Twinkles with Wrinkles packages. Based out of Ahmedabad, the company also offers unique and interesting programs for the elderly to explore their own country with journeys that focus on heritage, culture and ethnic values.
New-Delhi based India Vision Travels? tours for senior citizens are combined with enlightening and fun activities such as learning a new language, golf, dance, cooking, art, photography, and more. Equipped with a team that understands the intricacies of planning comfortable tours particularly for elderly people, the agency lays most emphasis on the itineraries that aren't very hectic.
One crucial point to be noted here is that the surge in the number of people travelling or wanting to travel has been recent. ?The digital media has helped us reach out to millions. We?re able to connect to our audiences through many channels and we introduce them to new products and packages in various ways. Everyone is internet savvy these days and we get many queries and requests from senior citizens through our website or Facebook pages. Many times it so happens that young men and women connect to us to request customized holidays for their retired parents, explains Anand. In addition, financial security with a growing economy and globalisation also helps. He adds, Elder people no longer have to cater for their kids because the younger generation is doing very well for themselves. There is no financial burden on the parents.
On the whole, it's clearly apparent that there?s no dearth of travel services for senior citizens in India. They?re given equal attention, if not special, and their requests are taken care of gladly in tours for senior citizens.
Given the options, senior citizens could choose to travel with acquaintances or sign up for a group tour and make friends of strangers. Either way, travel will inevitably open a whole new dimension to their already rich and experienced life!
Given below are the contact details of the travel agencies that conduct tours for senior citizens. You may contact them for their branches in the city you live.
Flight Shop, Delhi
Phone: 011 4969 4000
Kesari Tours & Travels, Mumbai
Phone: 022 ? 24332222, 21012101
Email : holiday@kesari.in
Cox & Kings, Delhi
Phone: 011 2676 7900
Thomas Cook, Delhi
Phone: 011 4614 2453
Insearch Outdoors, Pune
Phone: 098508 26431
Navbharat, Ahmedabad
Phone: 079 ? 2644 1555, 2644 3666, 2644 5888
Customized holiday: info@navbharattravels.com
India Vision Travels, Delhi
Phone: 011 4240 8431
Senior friendly smartphones and tablets can open up a whole new world. We bring you some easy to use phones and apps for elders.
seniors find tablets easy to use
Pic: Sigismund von Dobschütz/Wikimedia Commons
A smartphone opened up a wider world for senior citizen Bibhash Mukherjee from Kolkata, India. “Our Chicago based son bought it for us so that we could do video calls on Skype. Now we have two tablets as well, as both me and my wife want to browse individually according to our interests,” says Mr Mukherjee. Smartphones and tablets are increasingly becoming popular among senior citizens in India. AZ Research’s study of 1,900 senior citizens (aged 51 above) in 2013 showed that three in five elderly are using smartphones today. The trend is largely driven by the need to stay connected as families tend to be nuclear and seniors often live far from their children. Mr Mukherjee, 69, is not alone in his new found connectivity. While researching this article, we came across senior smartphone and tablet users with varied exposure, interest and comfort levels with mobile technology.
Most elders in India use their tablets and smartphones for staying connected to their children (FaceTime, Skype, Viber), surfing the web and to email friends and family. For senior citizens, a smartphone makes staying connected much easier and many people prefer to gift one to their parents for that simple reason.
Pining Senior Tab comes preloaded with apps elders may like
Tablets can be even better as they are bigger in size, making it easier for many elders with vision problems. Priya Nigam, VP Marketing, Pinig Tech, a company that makes customised tablets for various age groups, says that their tablets for seniors come pre-loaded with useful apps to make it easier. Many of these apps can also be remotely updated by the Pinig customer care team, making it a cakewalk!
“Technology should be accessible, easy to use and affordable for everyone. Your 70 year old dad can use the Senior Tab to watch his grandchildren learn their first words,” says Piyush Nigam, co-founder, Pinig Tech.
A 2012 McKinsey Study says that “for seniors, tablets address some of the biggest traditional barriers to technology. Arthritis and other impairments often limit a senior’s fine motor skills?—?a disability is incompatible with mouse and keyboard requirements. Tablets deliver touch screen technology, facilitating usage and minimizing user frustration.”
While there are tech-savvy elders, there is also a segment that is new to gadgets and not entirely comfortable handling it alone. Many find smartphones and tablets with too many features confusing. Phones and tablets that offer simpler solutions are ideal for this segment. Manufacturers are clearly seeing the potential of this untapped elderly market in India and in recent months, companies like Philips and Mitashi, apart from iBall have launched phones specially aimed at the elderly population.
Given the variety of choice in the market, it can get quite confusing to select the right phone or tablet for seniors. If you are buying a tablet or phone for your parent, it would help to talk to them and know what their level of comfort is and what they are going to use the phone/tablet for. “My mother runs a small home based business and after I bought her a smartphone (Samsung Galaxy Grand 2) and downloaded Whatsapp and Facebook, she finds it very easy to interact with her clients,” says Zoya Hameed from Mumbai.
The uniformity varies. Some senior citizens find touch screens confusing while others are extremely comfortable using their touchscreen smartphones and tablets. Research on this demographic and technology use in India is hard to come by but a report on Older Adults & Technology Use by the Pew Research Internet Group, US, shows that tech usage varies among the elderly everywhere. The Pew report says, some elderly citizens face several difficulties while adopting new technologies. At the same time, the survey found that younger (age 65 or older), higher-income, and more highly educated seniors use the internet and broadband at rates approaching or even exceeding the general population. On the other hand internet use and broadband adoption each drop off dramatically around age 75.
It’s no surprise then that many senior citizens are often inconvenienced by the standard phones available in the market due to their small font size and interface that many of them find confusing. So for those who would like to use technology with a bit of ease or gift their parents or loved ones, here’s a round up of phones, tablets and the apps, after talking to senior citizens and people who have bought these for their parents’ use. Many of these are easy on the pocket too.
Senior friendly smartphones and tablets
Mitashi Senior Friend Smart Phone: This Android smartphone is targeted at senior citizens and features a large font dialler, large font for storing contacts and reading messages. There is also an SOS button for emergencies and colour-coded icons that make it easy to distinguish various features.
Pinig Senior Plus Tablet: The tablet is configured with pre-selected apps, based on the company’s research with the senior demographic. There are preloaded apps in the tablet like Sudoku, e book reader, health apps for Yoga, a health monitor, Facebook, Skype, apps for booking movie, theatre and flight and railway tickers like Bookmyshow and Makemytrip among others. The tablet is 7.85 inch for ease of use and Wi-Fi enabled. The pricing too is kept moderate at Rs. 9900.
iBall Senior Aasaan2: It’s predecessor was one of earliest senior friendly phones in the market, though with mixed reviews. Comes with large keyboard with big buttons, icons and text. There is also a dedicated SOS button for emergency situations with an SOS button at the back thatcan be used by users when they need help. Price: Rs 2980 on Flipkart
Philips X2566: Similar in specifications to the iBall phone. Comes with a big keypad, torch, SOS button, wireless hands free FM Radio and talking keypad. Price: Rs 4290 (Flipkart)
Asus Zenfone 5: The Android smartphone comes with an easy mode which makes it easy for elderly people with bigger icons and lesser options. Price: Rs. 9,000
The Samsung Galaxy Tab 4G and Apple iPad with Retina Display are considered good options, if the person doesn’t find the multitude of features confusing. There are several apps that can make it easy for seniors to use one.
Skype & Facetime: Helps elders stay in touch with their friends and family, even if they are far away with video calls.
Swiftkey: Think of this as a super accurate autocorrect. It learns from your email and previous text messages and predicts fairly well what you are about to type, making it a single tap for each word.
Big Launcher: An app that enhances readability by overriding the home screen with large icons. Also provides quick access to commonly used features such as email, time, phone, camera, photos, etc.
Pillboxie: It’s an app that can help elders remember their medicine dosage and frequency, with reminders to take them.
Eye Reader: An app that acts like a magnifying glass and lets you read small print in dark areas. Good for those with vision problems.
Audible for Android: With age, reading may become quite a task. This Adroid app has books read out by celebrities. It has a great collection of books, from the latest bestsellers to classics.
Lumosity: A much lauded app for cognitive development, Lumosity creates a training program to challenge your brain and focuses on attention, memory, speed and problem solving capacities.
7-in-1 App for Seniors: Too many apps confusing you? The 7-in-1 EasyFamily AppSuite solves that problem by bringing services like Facebook, Skype, Picasa, Gmail, and basic Internet browsing into an easily usable app for seniors.
This article can be added to constantly. If you know of a senior friendly app, phone or tablet that is not mentioned here, do post about it in the comments section or mail us on connect@silvertalkies.com
— By Reshmi Chakraborty.
We thank Tarun B, Piya Mukherjee, Elizabeth John, Suchi Govindrajan, Suman Bolar, Poornima Narayan, Yasmeen Iqbal, D Nagarath, Gaurav Talwar & Himanshu Jain for their inputs.
Quilling is the art of coiling paper and making beautiful paper craft. With some basic tools and material you can spend time productively making greeting cards, bookmarks, rakhi etc. Nidhi Chawla tells you how in some easy simple steps.
Material needed
(Available in craft stores or stationary shops)
*Quilling corkboard with shapes in different sizes helps one make the shapes in consistent sizes and can be useful if working on projects requiring multiple shapes in same size.
Material required for Quilling
The picture collage given below explains the basic steps to make the basic circular shape.
The circles can be pinched to make other shapes like teardrop, marquise, leaf, square, triangle and even heart shape. These different shapes can be put together to make various objects like flowers, butterfly, fish etc. Options are unlimited and you can let your imagination run wild and your creativity flow.
Follow the following link to see the basic shapes that can be made https://quillingalaxy.wordpress.com/2014/06/24/basicshapes/
Shown here below is how basic shapes can be used to put together a flower, butterfly which you can then stick on to the blank paper or card to make a book mark or a greeting card. You can make quilled Rakhis too as shown in the pictures below.
Hope this will get you started. For more ideas and lessons we suggest a couple of links ?
http://increations.blogspot.in/
http://www.honeysquilling.com/
What do you do when you want to provide 360 degree care for seniors professionally? ?Provide senior living?, says Kabir Chadha, Founder and CEO of Epoch Elder Care.
The two and half year old company chose to do so early this year when it made a shift from its previous home care model to providing assisted living for seniors.Today, Epoch Assisted Living runs two homes for seniors in Delhi and Pune and hopes to expand to more cities soon.
?While we provided home care, we provided home visits for up to 2-3 hours. However our customers still needed help for the remaining hours in the day. With an assisted living model, we can truly take care of our residents holistically and ensure their every need is met ? from entertainment to housekeeping, from nursing care to nutrition,? says Kabir, explaining his vision of becoming India?s best operated assisted living home with a strong reputation for excellent care and world-class operations over next two years.
Epoch Assisted Living
Constant Care
The Pune facility, Monet House, is a 4 room unit and is dedicated to patients with different stages of dementia, while Vermeer House in Gurgaon has 14 rooms and is open to dementia patients or seniors with mobility issues (including bedridden patients) and socially active seniors as well. The homes provide 24×7 care to its residents, supported by doctors, nurses, attendants, housekeepers, kitchen staff and facility manager. The facilities are well equipped to take care of its residents and are elder friendly, allowing wheel chair accessibility, grab rails in bathrooms, etc. The staff is trained to take care of activities of daily living for those who need assistance and also sensitized to meet the demands of seniors.
A bedroom at Epoch homes
However the homes are unable to cater to patients requiring critical care. Every prospective resident needs to submit his/her medical history and may need to undergo medical assessment as suggested by the Clinical Head, in order to ascertain their health status and hence the viability of their stay at the Epoch homes. The residents can opt for either a short stay of minimum one month or a long term stay of eleven months and beyond.
Largely catering to the NRI population, the kin of the residents can stay in regular touch with the seniors through emails, skype chats and weekly calls. Any routine changes in medication or mild health issues are informed to the kin on a regular basis. The kin are also responsible for any major decision making and emergency care. The Epoch staff ensures initial emergency measures like transfer to a nearby hospital and hospital admission and can also attend to the patient till the family arrives.
Dementia Help
For dementia patients, the centres run a Dementia Sense Program, where the attendants let the patients lead them in scheduling their day, which is adapted as per the condition of the patients, ensuring less stress of new surroundings on the patients. While ensuring some structure in their schedules like meals in common areas, shower/sponging everyday, they do not force exercises or offer any cognitive stimulation.
Psychological well-being is ensured through one common activity daily, stretching exercises four times a week, movie evening twice a week and a weekly lunch or tea party among residents.
Engaging the seniors
Each care attendant is responsible for the care of 2-3 residents while each nurse looks after six patients. The Facility manager is responsible for management of patients? care.
The Price Point
Good care often comes at a price, especially if it involves a team that is experienced, educated in elder care and well staffed.?Our main target audience is seniors who come from well-to-do families ? often NRI families.? elaborates Kabir.
Here are the pricing details, as quoted on the website.
Upon admission, residents are also required to provide Rs. 1,00,000 as a one-time refundable security deposit. If a resident temporarily requires a dedicated nurse or attendant, an additional fee will be charged.
? Day time attendant 12-hours (Rs 15,000 + 12.36% Tax) / month
? Night time attendant 12-hours (Rs 15,000 + 12.36% Tax) / month
? Day and Night attendant 24-hours (Rs 30,000 + 12.36% Tax) / month
Petty cash, travel, medical fees and other expenses are also not included and are billed separately.
For more information visit http://www.epocheldercare.com/ or call Phone (India): +91.989.968.1595, +91.124.426.2561
Phone (US): +1.212.401.1888.
Written by Nidhi Chawla in conversation with Kabir Chadha, Founder & CEO of Epoch Elder Care and Neha Sinha, Head Psychological Wellbeing at Epoch Assisted Living.
We invited all our readers to share with us their favourite festive recipe, as part of our ongoing Tyohara Utsav. We’ve been fortunate enough to receive some interesting recipes from our dear readers and will feature them here over the next few weeks. Let’s make the good start with Ganesha. Here’s a recipe for Modak, the traditional prasad (offering) of Ganesh Chaturthi, shared by Jayashree Ranade, 73, a resident of Mumbai.
Ganesh Chaturthi and God’s favourite Modak
Ganesh Chaturthi marks the onset of the festive season towards the end of the year. Jayashree Ranade (73) a resident of Andheri West, Mumbai, shares with us the significance of Ganesh Chaturthi and her recipe of Ukadi Che Modak or steamed modak, rice flour cups filled with a succulent mixture of coconut and jagggery.
Lord Ganesh is the God of learning. He is believed to be remover of all obstacles. It is believed to be auspicious to start any function/ work with a prayer to Him. In Maharashtra, we celebrate the festival in the month of Bhadrapad according to the Hindu calendar. The duration varies for different families – from 11/2 days, 3 days, 5 days or 10 days. Before Independence, Lokmanya Tilak started the tradition of celebrating the festival collectively in different localities, as a means of bringing people together and awakening them to stand against British rulers.
We started celebrating the festival when our eldest son was born. We were staying in Rourkela then, among cosmopolitan crowd. In order to familiarise our son with our Marathi traditions we started the tradition of celebrating Ganesh Chaturthi every year. For me every Ganesh Chaturthi is special. Ganesh idol is brought home with great ceremony and is installed on Ganesh Chaturthi (4th day of Bhadrapad). An elaborate pooja is held in the presence of family and friends with Sanskrit prayers as well as those composed in Marathi. Aarti is conducted and Prasad is distributed both in the morning and evening. Ganesh is specifically fond of modaks and these are specially made and offered as Prasad (offering). We do visarjan (idol immersion) on the day of Gauri visarjan as per Hindu calendar and pray to Ganpati to visit our house every year and bless us with His choicest blessings.
Ukadi Che Modak/ Steamed Modak
Ingredients –
For the outer covering –
2 cups rice
For filling
1 Coconut (grated)
2 cups Sugar/ Jaggery
Cardamom powder – ½ tsp
Dry fruits – few
2 tsp ghee for kneading and greasing
For the dough/ outer cover-
For the flour use new rice preferably because it is more sticky. Wash the rice two times, drain and spread it on a cloth to dry in shade. When dry, grind it to a fine powder and sieve it.
In 1 cup boiling water add 1tbsp oil and salt to taste.
Add 1 cup of modak flour. Stir it continuously to avoid lumps.
Cover with lid for 5 minutes. Remove from stove.
Knead the dough when it is still warm. Apply little oil on your palm from time to time while kneading the dough. Place the steamed flour in a casserole to keep it warm.
For making filling –
Mix grated coconut and sugar or jaggery in equal amount.
Put in on a low flame and cook till the mixture is almost dry.
Add cardamom powder and dry fruits. Keep aside.
For the modak
Take a little portion and knead it. Grease the palm with oil and flatten a ball of dough to form a cup shape.
Place about ¾ tsp coconut filling into this cup. Dip thumb and index finger in the oil and make 5-6 small pinches side by side on the outer edges of the cup. Bring them together on top and fix to form a peak.
Steam the modak for 15 minutes. It appears like a garlic pod.
Travelling Spoon helps bring local cuisine to a global palate. We speak to the founders and some of the seniors associated with it and discover a great second innings for those who love cooking and food.
Kamla Sachdev is 81, energetic, well informed and occasionally host to visitors who wish to know more about India through its food. A retired school principal, this active octogenarian is a host for Travelling Spoon, a service that helps people to experience authentic local cuisine and food in people’s homes around the world.
Started by Aashi Vel and Stephanie Lawrence, who bonded in business school over their joint passion for food, TS is present in 35 cities across the world and growing! Many of their hosts are over 50 and great cooks, making it a great Second Career option to try out for seniors who love the ladle.
“Travelling Spoon is like having a friend’s mum cook for you when you are travelling,” says Aashi, mentioning names like Freeda in Cochin and Flower in Kolkata who provide a great spread. It is also a great way to give the hosts, many of whom are retired and in their 60s or 70s, a chance to show off their culinary skills, introduce their culture to someone new and make money doing what they love.
Stephanie and Aashi
All the hosts with TS are vetted. “We’re the only company that does it,” says Aashi proudly. Before they go ahead with a host, they visit him or her, eat the food and understand why the host wishes to join. The reasons can be varied but in many cases it’s recognition and a chance to show off their cooking skills. Aashi mentions Harish and Mallika, a couple based in Varanasi in North India, who are hosts with TS. “I want to give Mallika a platform to show off her skills,” says Harish. Most of the TS hosts are found through word of mouth, emails to friends and the social media. About 50 per cent are through existing host referrals.
Aashi and Stephanie believe that a large number of people are looking for an authentic food experience when they travel. She also believes that sharing that food in someone’s home makes it a different experience altogether. “When you sit and have a meal with someone, no matter what cultural views you have, you think of the other person as a friend,” is how Aashi puts it.
“It’s an interesting experience,” says Kamla Sachdev, who has hosted several people so far and specialises in North Indian food, complete with ‘Roti-making’ demos if the visitors ask. “Most visitors are keen to know about Indian culture and are interested in knowing and watching how we cook,” she adds. She hosts along with her daughter Geeta and enjoys the “cultural exchange” that comes with the experience. A Diwali dinner hosted in 2013 was a specially memorable one. “I asked the guests to participate in pooja as that would give them an essence of the celebrations. They joined us in illuminating the house and the child with them was amused by the crackers.”
It’s the world coming a little closer, says Freeda Ipe, a grandmother from Cochin who specialises in delicacies from Kerala. “You will get the typical Kerala meal outside also but the conversation at home is what makes the difference,” she says. Politics and the government are sometimes great conversation starters and Freeda, a former teacher, says that she sees a lot of interest among her visitors in knowing about Indian politics, especially around election time. She has hosted mixed groups, which include Americans and Europeans.
Freeda presenting her food
“Whatever you serve, they like,” Freeda, an ardent baker at heart adds, cautioning that as Indians, hosts can sometimes go overboard in presenting a variety of dishes and some visitors can find the spread little too big and overwhelming. Those minor hiccups apart, Freeda feels these meals make for good conversation and company, adding that it also helps to be appreciated and occupied. A typical spread by her includes signature Kerala dishes like appams, stew, pork roast and fish baked in banana leaves. “We don’t know how to stop at two or three dishes,” she laughs.
An involved and loving grandmother, Freeda has also given demonstrations of how appams are made and her visitors have gladly tried their hands at it. She feels the meals are an eye opener for many a visitor and gives them an insight into Indian lives. Her concern about strangers coming home long gone, she now thinks that it’s the home setting that makes all the difference!
Isn’t that a great way to showcase your hobby and get started on a second career as well? If you love feeding people and setting out a good spread or would like to encourage senior hosts by booking a meal, contact Travelling Spoon at http://travelingspoon.com
All photographs courtesy: Travelling Spoon
Update: In July 2018, Silver Talkies interviewed Iti Misra, also a host with Travelling Spoon among the many other ways she works with food. You can read about her here:
Vishali Pisupati runs a successful catering business from home that is a testimony to her need to stay independent and occupied post retirement. Nidhi Chawla met her in her Chennai home.
Vishali Pisupati (R) with her sister Meena Shashi
An apt name for a venture that is indeed run from a mother’s kitchen – 57-year-old Vishali Pisupati and 62-year-old Meena Shashi run a catering business from their kitchen in Velachery, Chennai, giving the pleasure of a mother’s home cooked food to many office-goers and bachelors in the area.
The sisters have been utilizing their culinary experience of over forty years and running the business for the last two years, their speciality being Andhra, Tamil Nadu and North Indian cuisine. It is a business that was prompted by Vishali’s need to stay independent and occupied, a need that became ingrained in her given the many twists and turns in her life.
We take you on a memorable journey with Vishali Pisupati while enjoying the South Indian traditional snack murukku and the lip smacking Kaja, an Andhra sweet, at the sisters’ lovely home in Chennai.
Vishali was the youngest of four sisters in a Brahmin family of eight in a small village called Krishnapuram, close to Chidambaram, Tamil Nadu. The children lost their father a day after the youngest one, their brother, was born and the responsibility of the family fell on the mother and grandmother’s shoulders. The two women managed the arduous task with great courage ensuring basic schooling for the children. However they had to give in to the societal pressures and had all the daughters married at an early age, right after high school. Vishali was 17 when she got married to her second cousin, an acceptable norm in the community, and found her new home in Chennai. Two kids later at the age of 26, she lost her husband to Liver Cirrhosis. History repeated itself and it was now Vishali’s turn to bring up her children independently. She took a bold decision of moving to Visakhapatnam and to join her brother-in-law’s business. She went on to complete PU in Commerce and manage the finance and accounts of the business for over 20 years. She did all of these while continuing to raise her children with all her love and care and completing her duties of educating them and getting them married.
Post Visakhapatnam, Vishali’s next stop was at Chennai where she moved in with her son’s family two years back. Here too the habit of being financially independent and staying busy kept nagging her. A business in food presented itself as a natural choice as cooking was a skill she had in abundance since the young age of 12. The choice also made business sense given the low capital requirement and feasibility of being managed from home. So now Vishali started making the pickles and spice powders she had been making for her extended family for customers.
The business took a serious shape when Meena, Vishali’s elder sister, moved to Chennai and the two joined hands and combined experiences to launch their catering business in Chennai and a pan India business of supplying pickles, snacks and spice powders.
Now the duo doles out amazing food three times a day for their regular clientele who call them on daily basis by an appointed hour to order the food. Due to lack of manpower Mother’s Kitchen is unable to make deliveries so the customers have to do pick-ups.
Vishali at an exhibition in Bangalore
Today a business that started out with online ads on Quikr is fast catching on via word of mouth. Other than catering the regular meals they also do specialised cooking for festivals and poojas, primarily for the Andhra and Tamil Nadu Brahmin community. When asked about the hectic schedule they have to follow both respond instantly, “We have a few single boys who live in nearby PGs, who come and pick up dinner every day from their way to work. These boys have become family and we are unable to refuse them, so their boxes get packed till 9:00 pm as and when they come. These kids remind us of our own kids, who lived alone in other cities and longed for home-made food, so our kitchens are always open to them. We close our kitchen only once a month to clean up the place. On the days we don’t have catering orders; we make spice powders, sweets etc.”
Talking of future plans Vishali says “Honestly, this is already a retirement venture and I would like to keep it to a size where I can manage it keeping in mind my age. Having said that, we are in talks with a company looking at consolidating home-made spice and pickle suppliers under one umbrella. They will sell it online while retaining our brand name. This helps me to concentrate on what I want to do – cook.”
As we wind up our munchies and wait for our sweet lime and mango pickles to be packed, Vishali very kindly shares a recipe from her treasure trove with us. Hope you will enjoying making her recipe as much as we enjoyed eating her food.
(Tempered raw mangoes in a sour and spicy dal)
Ingredients
Tuar dal/ Arhar dal/ Pigeon Pea- 1 cup
Raw mango (a sour one) – 1 no cut into cubes (with or without peel as desired)
Green Chilies – 3 nos slit length wise
Ginger- ½ inch piece finely chopped
Curry Leaves – a sprig
Oil- 2 teaspoons
Urad dal – 1 ½ teaspoons
Fenugreek Seeds – ½ teaspoon
Mustard Seeds – ¾ teaspoon
Cumin Seeds – ¾ teaspoon
Asafoetida- a pinch
Red Chilli Powder – ½ teaspoon (1 if you prefer it spicy)
Turmeric Powder – ¼ teaspoon
Salt – to Taste
Method:
Next time you are in Chennai do try out Mother’s Kitchen yummy food or have the pleasure of enjoying the home-made snacks, pickles and spice powder in the comfort of your home by ordering it from anywhere in India by calling 099 52 923970 or via their Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/Motherskitchen57
Bhanu Hajratwala’s cookbook on Gujarati food catalogues traditional recipes and hidden gems from this popular, yet not widely discovered cuisine. Nidhi Chawla interviews the US based author.
Bhanu Hajratwala, the author
Bhanu Hajratwala’s book ‘Gujarati Kitchen – Family Recipes for the Global Palate’ is a book for all Gujarati cuisine lovers across the world. The book is aimed at opening vistas for Gujarati food, made popular by the likes of Dhokla, Thepla and Khandvi, in more and more kitchens while also preserving traditional recipes which have never been catalogued before. So while you will find the usual suspects in Hajratwala’s book you would also realise there are many undiscovered gems of this increasingly popular cuisine.
“Surat nu Jaman ane Kashi nu Maran —The food of Surat is like dying in the holy city of Kashi (now Varanasi, in Uttar Pradesh). This popular saying praises the cuisine from the district of Surat in Gujarat. My ancestors came from this area,” says Hajratwala. Born and brought up in a Gujarati family on the Fiji Islands, where her ancestors migrated during the British Raj complete with their palate and cuisine, Hajratwala was like any ordinary girl with limited interest in cooking. True to her Gujarati DNA, food revealed itself to her during a cooking competition at a women’s club that she was invited to judge as a teenager, where she figured she could differentiate the tastes of the same dish prepared by multiple contestants. Learning continued in the kitchens of her mother and mother-in-law and what started as trial and error soon changed into seasoned cooking with exact measurements.
Over forty years of traveling and relocating from Fiji to New Zealand and finally to United States, Hajratwala kept evolving her techniques and food within the challenges that each location brought with itself, even with the dearth of Indian ingredients in foreign lands. A physiotherapist by profession during the week and a cook for a family of four by the weekend, she took to Gujarati and other Indian cooking for its ease and familiarity. Over time she found herself giving impromptu cooking demonstrations during their travel sojourns.
Bhanu Hajratwala signs copies of her book
We asked Bhanu what prompted her to write a cook book. “The recipes in this cookbook are our family favourites, and some are generations old. Many have never been written down before,” says she. “My inspiration for writing this cookbook came from our children who had grown up with Gujarati food. When they went to college, they would call home for recipes. One Christmas, they requested that I write a little Gujarati recipe book for them of their favourite dishes. This became an ongoing project for several years. Finally it materialized in 2011 when Westland-Tata approached me regarding a Gujarati cookbook. I was glad to accept their offer and submit my manuscript.” The book was unveiled in several cities in India and United States during 2011-2013 and has been received well across the globe with commendable reviews.
Using her experience as a benchmark, Hajratwala’s book helps every novice get started in the kitchen. She gives you tips on setting up a basic home pantry, descriptions and recipes of various ingredients, measurement guides, freezing techniques and also sample meal plans. The book has eleven sections covering starters and appetisers, main dishes — vegetarian and non-vegetarian — breads, rice, accompaniments, sweets, tea-time snacks, drinks and even mouth fresheners. Covering 85 recipes in this book, Hajratwala still has more kitchen to cover and is considering a sequel.
She shares with us one of her favourite recipes from the book
JINGHLANU SHAAK
Jingalanu Shaak
Shrimp Curry
Preparation time: 45 minutes
Serves 4-6
Ingredients
2 lb shrimps, deveined, with shells on
10 cloves garlic, peeled
10 fresh green chillies, decapped
4 inch yellow turmeric or 1½ tsp turmeric powder
1 tbsp oil
1 tbsp lemon juice
1 tbsp coriander powder
½ tbsp cumin powder
1 tsp turmeric powder
2 tsp chilli powder
2 tsp salt
¼ cup + 2/3 cup oil
½ tsp fenugreek seeds
6-8 curry leaves
1½ lbs tomatoes, diced
2 cups water
2 tbsp lemon juice
1 tbsp chopped fresh coriander leaves
1 tbsp chopped fresh garlic greens (if available)
Method
Note
Gujarati Kitchen is published by Westland (Rs. 395) and is available at most Landmark stores. To know more check out www.gujaratikitchen.com.
Birding can be a rewarding hobby and a not very taxing one at that. Avid birder Deepa Mohan brings you this comprehensive guide on birding in Bangalore. The guidelines can help anyone wishing to start out, no matter which city they live in. Read on…
Purple-rumped Sunbird (male) on Milkweed (Calatropis)
As we age and our mobility decreases, it can become a challenge to find activities that take our limitations into account yet provide a pleasant experience. If you would like to take up something outdoors, bird-watching would certainly be an excellent activity to consider. Bird-watching or birding knows no boundaries when it comes to age; indeed, the more experienced of Bangalore’s bird-watchers, who call themselves birders, are from the older age bracket.
“I never knew, until I went for my first birding trail, how much I would enjoy being out in the open air,” says Pushpa Shetty. “The pace of the walk is always at an amble, to allow the group to see the birds, and anything else of interest.”
Bangalore is fortunate to have a large count of bird species both in the city and its surrounding areas. In fact, during the annual Bird Day event in February, as many as 150 species of birds have been recorded in a single day of birding!
Given this wide variety of colourful, local and migrant birds, many seniors would find this an excellent pastime. “One does not have to go outside one’s door, sometimes,” said the doyen of Bangalore birders, the late Zafar Futehally, at the age of 90. His home in an apartment building was surrounded by trees that house birds like Barbets, Bulbuls, and Sunbirds.
Bangalore’s outskirts also are haven for birds; the so called ‘birding hotspots.’ Birds are often not far from human habitation, so even a trip to a place like the Valley School area, off Kanakapura Road, or the Bannerghatta National Park, or Nandi Hills, can prove a very rewarding outing for people interested in birds. If one does not have a car, even a walk in a nearby park could provide excellent sightings.
Here are some tips for those who are beginners:
It would be good initially to join an e-group and FB page that belongs to the Bird Watchers’ Field Club (BWFC), an informal group of Bangalore’s bird-lovers. The e-group of BWFC is called “bngbirds”. The BWFC organizes regular Sunday outings, as follows:
The first Sunday of the month, at Hebbal Lake, meeting at the main entrance (opposite the Hebbal station).
The second Sunday of the month, at Lalbagh, at the Glass House.
Both outings start at 7.30 am, approximately, lasting for 2-3 hours.
The third Sunday of the month, somewhere in the Bannerghatta area, the venue and the time are notified in advance on email to the egroup. This is a slightly more challenging trail and requires a little fitness. Also, this is usually under the guidance of Forest Department personnel as it is in the Bannerghatta National park area (NOT the zoo, but the forest area.)
The fourth Sunday of the month, in the Bellandur/Sarjapura area, the venue and the time is notified in advance on email to the egroup.
Apart from this, you can form your own group of friends and go to various birding areas. Since a typical birding outing lasts only a few hours, starts early (by sunrise) and finishes by 10 to 10.30am, it does not tax anyone unduly. In fact, during the migratory season (Oct/Nov to Feb/March) fruiting and flowering trees can attract so many birds that there is no need to walk anywhere, sitting in nearby parks would do. Some of our well-maintained lakes like Kaikondrahalli Lake, Bellandur Lake, or Puttenahalli Lake, can also be great places to see water-birds.
Purple-rumped Sunbird (female). A very common bird in our city…and so beautiful!
Those who would like to just watch and observe the birds can do so without any other aid to birding; but those who might like to learn the names of a few birds, can invest in a basic bird guide, such as books by Salim Ali, or Carol and Tim Inskipp. The sheer variety of birds depicted in these books will tempt people into going outdoors to find them!
Another good birding aid is, of course, a set of binoculars. Though these come in a wide variety of magnification (and price ranges!), a basic pair of binoculars, of 8 X 42 magnifications, such as Bushnell, can be around Rs. 4,000, and provide clear sightings of the birds.
Seniors can join the younger ones easily for birding trips.
With today’s technology, a camera would also add to the experience of birding. Not all of us may want to invest in high-end cameras and lenses; but even basic cameras (sometimes even the ones on the cell-phones we carry) can document the birds we see quite well, and provide us hours of pleasant occupation later, as we try to identify the bird, and exchange notes with fellow-birders. This brings me to another great benefit of bird-watching…the birders themselves! The birding community of Bangalore is a fairly inclusive and informal group, and I have made a lot of good friends over the years, through this pastime. The more experienced ones are invariably helpful, and one’s knowledge about birds increases quite rapidly. One’s level of expertise is entirely up to what one wants; one can continue this as a gentle, pleasant hobby, or begin travelling, hoping to sight the birds that are endemic to certain areas. Bangalore is fortunate, being close to one of the world’s best birding hotspots: the Western Ghats. Recently, in high summer (which is “low birding season” as migrants have gone away from southern India) at Sakleshpur, on a single coffee estate, we sighted 97 species of birds in 2 days.
Abroad, too, seniors are keen on birding, and often bring the expertise that comes with age and experience
“Birding provides me a great opportunity to be out and about in the outdoors, early in the morning,” says Mr Harish Chandra, who retired from work recently.” It is very refreshing to breathe the fresh air and look at the beautiful flying creatures that share our world and yet are sometimes hard to see.” Both the easy sightings and the challenges, he says, keep him on his toes.
Usha Rajagopalan, the conservator of Puttenahalli Lake says, “Every time I sight a new species, it’s a big thrill that this lake is attracting so many birds!”
For Lily Paul, health issues often preclude outings; but the big trees surrounding her home just off M. G. Road, provide endless pleasure and ease her time at home. “In every season,” she says, “there are small birds such as flowerpeckers, and large birds like the Koel in my trees, and each time I look there is likely to be something different.”
Another bonus of this hobby is that often one becomes interested in the birds’ various habitats, opening up new vistas of learning and enjoyment. I’ve been birding on four continents, and can attest to the great joys of birding wherever I go.
So, here’s wishing you all the joys of bird-watching, as the colourful and fascinating world of birds unfolds before you!
************************************************
A White-bellied Sea-Eagle, a majestic bird captured at Cauvery Wildlife Sanctuary, 60km from Bangalore.
Do’s and Don’ts of birding:
1. Do invest in a bird guidebook, and a pair of binoculars. This enriches the birding experience.
2. Whether birding in the outdoors or just on one’s balcony, do take care to disturb the birds as little as possible.
3. During birding outings, remember that birds are highly sensitive to colour, and wear dull, forest-coloured clothes. Wear comfortable clothes and walking shoes, a hat or cap, and carry water and/or snacks. Sharing one’s snacks during an outing makes for great bonding between members of the birding community.
4. Do join the egroup of the BWFC. To do this, send an email to
bngbirds-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
and the administrators of the egroup will add you on to it. You can then participate in discussions on the forum and add your observations, too.
5. Do join the Sunday outings as much as you can, it helps to increase your knowledge base, and adds to your circle of like-minded people, as well.
The bngbirds FaceBook group is at
https://www.facebook.com/groups/bngbirds/
You need an FB account, and then you can just join.
All pictures by Deepa Mohan
DEEPA MOHAN
Deepa Mohan is deeply concerned about the rapid evolution of her city, Bangalore, but is also interested in theatre, quizzing, music, wildlife, photography, heritage, history and writing, all of which she does with enthusiasm.
Single minded passion can help you attain your dream — Silver Talkies meets three senior artists who stayed true to their passion of fine arts through a lifetime of struggle. Nidhi Chawla & Reshmi Chakraborty bring you their story.
Nothing less than artistic fireworks are expected when you have 29 artists, including five seniors, participating together in an exhibition. This was exactly the scene at Kynkyny Art Gallery at their 50 under 50 exhibition held last month, where a flower seller from Badami, a Brahmin and performing folk artists contributed to the riot of colours on the walls of the gallery. Silver Talkies met with three of the senior artists –Krishnappa, J.M.S. Mani and Shankar Kendale at the gallery.
Camaraderie juxtaposed with unstinted passions had the three veterans hit off instantly even though they admitted to not seeing each other often. Humble backgrounds not withstanding, they are all successful and well known today. ‘Single-minded passion can help you attain your dreams’ is the key takeaway from their life stories.
Krishnappa
Krishnappa, son of weaver parents, is committed to Indian folk arts and has developed his signature style while representing these in his oils on canvas. His paintings are synonymous with India’s traditional art forms and he insists on painting only these in an endeavour to preserve these disappearing arts through his work.
“I was a child labour,” says Krishnappa as his eyes gleam with nostalgia, “I would weave pure silk saris alongside my parents to lend a helping hand. I took to designing patterns and designs for the saris, which I would share with fellow weavers, leading to my nickname, Designer Krishnappa.” The course of his life changed when he was offered a job in the Central Government’s Textile Department after a chance meeting with an employee of the department. He became a class 4 employee at the age of 18. After 35 years as an art designer at Weaver’s Service Centre, he was assigned the task of designing India’s traditional temple and palace designs on textiles and tapestries for the Festivals of India events held worldwide. “I designed many of MF Hussain’s paintings on tapestries given my capabilities as a designer and weaver.” Along the way he collected a Diploma in Fine Arts and trained at various art schools like Kala Mandir, Bangalore, Nutan Kala Mandir and Haldankar Institute of Arts, Mumbai. A patient and undemanding wife appreciated his passion and never complained about him painting after office hours. From his first exhibition at Krithika Art gallery in 1982, his paintings have now travelled across the world and added character to the walls of many homes. He’s been a recent recipient of the Lifetime Achievement award from Karnataka Lalit Kala Akademi , another feather in his cap.
Even after 13 years into retirement, Krishnappa is still relentlessly following his first love. “Our culture is vanishing with the new age generation taking to television and other means of entertainment, while completely forgetting our traditional art forms. My mission is to preserve the folk arts through my work”. So in his paintings you will see folk dances like Patta Kunitha from Karnataka and folk musicians like Ramadasu performing during Sankranti in Andhra Pradesh come alive in vibrant colours against abstract and textured backgrounds. Each chosen colour is well thought of and reflects the mood of the performance.
Speaking about seniors who may be interested in taking up art as a hobby, he says sincerity in work and attempt will never lead to failure. The only thing to keep in mind is to follow your heart’s calling and turn a deaf ear to what other people think you should be doing.
At the threshold of 70, age is yet to arrest this artists’ desire for painting. He spends six hours painting daily. However, he is unable to spend the time and energy teaching others. “I am a heart patient and would like to reserve my energies for painting for myself,” says the man with passion galore.
JMS Mani
A multiple award winner, JMS Mani is another epitome of passion unlimited. The Badami series defines the work of this Bangalore artist. The bold strokes of his work, his colourful, rustic and distinctive characters — like the fruit seller or the woman with the rooster and kites— make this a series that has remained ever popular. But 65 year old Mani shows no signs of slowing down or stopping his renowned series, which had the blessing of his late mentor RM Hadapad, who started the Ken School of Art and himself belonged to that region. It is perhaps Mani’s tribute to the mentor who taught him everything, though he adds that it’s the goodness and innocence of the people of Badami that inspires him.
Before the Badami series changed his life, Mani had his fair share of struggle. His is a story of true passion and dedication to his art, unquestionable talent and a fair share of chutzpah.
An athlete in school, Mani studied in Gandhi Vidyashala and was encouraged to learn to draw by his uncle. Sheer chance brought him to Ken School of Art, where he went on to study, meet his mentor and eventually become a principal.
In Mani’s early days as a young artist, there were hardly any art galleries in Bangalore. “We were struggling at that time. The only galleries were Krithika Gallery on Church Street and the Venkatappa Art Gallery,” says Mani, adding that he is grateful to the late Kausalya Dayaram who ran Krithika, for the way she helped many young artists.
But the struggle never kept him away from work. Mani says the inspiration to continue despite earning almost nothing came from his mentor RM Hadapad. “He was a beautiful teacher and taught me how to face the struggle.”
Mani finished his diploma in 1979 and got married. He credits his wife with unstinted and silent support by never asking him how he went about his work or earned his bread and butter. The struggle for survival became harder after marriage and this now famous artist tried to make ends meet by making posters during election time, running from one party office to another, often going without food, and sometimes even payment.
Art never took a backseat. Mani would visit coal shops to collect leftover charcoal for sketches and photo studios for waste bromide to continue with his first love.
His Badami series was a result of this passion. Fascinated by the landscape and its hardworking people, Mani continued visiting his mentor’s birthplace in Badami every year, until he won the initially reluctant residents over. He mentions that when he first started sketching there, the suspicious residents would ask what he was up to. Gradually, the same people started recognising their landscape and homes in his works and opened up to him.
A constant experimenter, Mani has also done sculptures and lithographs, charcoal on paper and is an acclaimed printmaker. His print making studio hosts regular workshops for printmakers and those wishing to learn. “I’m experimental with all art forms,” says the artist, crediting gallerists like Dayaram and Chennai’s Sharon Apparao, his mother, uncle and his mentor RM Hadapad for his achievements. His love for art is an unbridled one and he needs to keep experimenting, trying new things or finishing old classics. “If I don’t touch the brush, I can’t sleep,” he signs off with a laugh.
Shankar Kendale
The design background is evident in Shankar Kendale’s figurative works and in his play of light and shadows. Kendale finished his degree from Abhinav Kala Kendra, Pune, before moving to Bangalore in 1978.
Survival as an artist was tough work in those days and Kendale, who was sure of his talent, decided to work as an illustrator in advertising to make ends meet.
He was in the advertising industry for almost 10 years, during which he worked with big names like O&M and Trikaya Grey and rose to become the Associate Creative Director. “I did not get the time to pursue fine art as advertising was a demanding job but I enjoyed working as an illustrator,” he says, describing his advertising days. With advertising taking up most of his time, leaving him with precious little leave for pursuing fine arts, Kendale decided to take a big risk in his late 40s and quit.
“I thought it is almost a 24 hour job, so took a big risk and gave it up for art in spite of getting good salary, good position and being in a good agency. I had to try it out as otherwise I would never know if I could succeed as an artist,” he reasons.
The bold move paid off eventually. Kendale started with Crimson Art Gallery with watercolors as the medium of choice. He switched to oils based on a suggestion and sold well.
Kendale’s oils have a signature style with an effect that almost mimics watercolour. His colours are warm and smooth and the composition carefully thought of. What attracts the eye is the play of light in his work, something that has possibly been an effect of his work as an illustrator.
He recounts an interesting incident during an exhibition at Apparao gallery, Chennai. Renowned filmmaker Mani Ratnam bought one of his oils on canvas and then expressed a desire to meet the artist. When Kendale flew down to Chennai, Mani Ratnam wanted to know how he was able to create the effect of watercolour by using a completely different medium.
“I use very thin colours and very often, the entire painting is done in one stroke,” he says, almost mimicking the answer he gave Mani Ratnam. “I pay attention to the composition and make sure the painting looks balanced. This is possible when you study and understand the medium.”
While his initial days have been one of struggle, Kendale deserves praise for having maintained his love for fine arts during his 10 year phase in advertising and having the gumption to leave the comfort of a good position and job in his late 40s. It’s the confidence in his skill that has seen him through. Kendale believes the artist should do what he wants to do, instead of thinking what the buyer wants. One of his bestselling series has been rural women going about routine chores against abstract backdrops, with his distinctive luminous effect. This was followed by the popular Brahmin series.
Is art an interesting hobby for seniors to pick up, provided they have the inclination for it?
Yes, he adds. “Art makes you stay younger and makes the mind stay alert and agile. Creativity always keeps you younger. You don’t think in an orthodox manner, you think of the future instead.”
Care services for the elderly in India are seeing a breath of fresh air with innovative ideas and approaches. We speak to Epoch Eldercare that offers services spanning health and companionship.
Art at Epoch Eldercare
India is graying, says a Help Age India report, with 100 million people over 60 years of age and life expectancy at 63. With rapid urbanization and breakdown of the joint family system, old age can sometimes be garbed in loneliness, which in turn can accelerate the onset of age-related ailments.
However, the silver lining is that this loneliness can be prevented through an active social life, jogging of mind and renewed social contacts. This is where Epoch Eldercare, a professional at-home care provider for elders, based in Gurgaon near Delhi, steps in.
Launched in January 2012, Epoch Eldercare offers elders intellectual companionship, health monitoring and Alzheimer’s/ Dementia care in the comfort of their own homes. Nidhi Chawla spoke to Ruchi Kumar, Vice President Sales and Marketing and Neha Sinha, Elder Care Manager at Epoch Eldercare to get you more details.
What does Epoch mean and why the name?
Epoch means the beginning of a new era. Old age is the start of a new era, hence the name.
What was the genesis of Epoch Eldercare?
The idea of Epoch germinated when Kabir Chadha, the Founder and CEO of Epoch Eldercare and an ex-Mckinsey consultant, started living with his grandmother and realized the issues associated with old age. Old age is characterized by loneliness and a huge gap exists between the family caregiver and the untrained domestic help. Epoch was launched with an aim to address these issues and fill this gap.
You're never too old to colour your nails!
When and how was it launched?
The concept of Epoch was put on the ‘drawing board’ in September 2011 and we launched our services in January 2012, in Delhi, Gurgaon, Noida and Faridabad. So far, we have primarily worked through references and referrals and word of mouth. Today, we have 21 clients in Delhi and NCR.
What are the main issues associated with the elderly segment?
The main issues associated with the elderly population are –
What is Epoch Eldercare’s role and what services does it provide?
Our aim is two-fold 1) to raise the quality of life for our elders and 2) to provide non-medical support, in the form of a surrogate son or daughter. Our services rest on three pillars :
Intellectual Companionship– We try to be a companion or a friend to the elderly by visiting them regularly at their homes, typically thrice a week for an hour each. During this one hour, we spend quality time with them and engage them intellectually in discussions, help them pursue their passions or other interesting activities. These activities range from helping them write a cooking blog/ book to making a photo collage or family tree for their grandchildren and playing games. We also accompany them on outings or social visits. Our focus is making their life easy by helping them overcome their disabilities etc. For example we may label things in big alphabets for people with vision impairment or help them organize their medicines for easy remembrance.
Alzheimer’s and Dementia Care – We also attend to elders with neurological disorders like Parkinson’s, Alzheimer’s and Dementia. Since they have a short attention span we do things which will catch their attention like listen to music, watch snippets of their favourite movies, colouring etc. Our aim is also to provide respite to the caregivers and train and sensitize the attendants.
Health Monitoring–We help ensure well-being of the elderly and monitor their vitals like blood pressure, sugar levels, pulse rate etc. We help them manage their medication and also check that they are maintaining their personal hygiene. If need be, we also accompany them on hospital visits and give them access to elder care products. We also facilitate at-home elder care needs by helping with placement of maids and nurses etc., and by referring doctors.
A musical evening
We are now a ten member team, of which five are Elder Care Specialists (ECS) and five are part of the management team. Our Elder Care Specialists (ECS) have Master’s degree in the fields of psychology, social work and gerontology. They are selected for both their hard and soft skills – they have the patience, empathy, integrity and creativity to truly increase the quality of life of their elderly clients. Candidates have to undergo a rigorous selection process, conducted by our expert panel,which have considerable experience working with the elderly in various walks of life.
What kind of training do the ECS have to undergo before they are ready to work with the elderly?
Training is imparted both in-house and by our partners. All ECS members attend Basic Life Support training, in association with Max Hospital. They also deal with elderly people in a simulated environment before they interact with our clients. In partnership with Help Age India, Delhi University and other experts, Epoch Elder Care provides a rigorous training and monitoring program for its ECS team.
Any specific training to deal with and take care of Alzheimer’s and Dementia patients?
The Geriatric doctor on our panel helps the ECS understand the biological aspect of the ailment, specifically the changes it can bring about, how to diagnose the problem and also the basics of treatment. The team Psychologist helps design the activities that will engage them and take care of their short attention span. Mostly the activities entail giving one stimulus at a time as multiple stimuli can be stressful for them. For example – it could be a mute video or only music.
The caregivers also undergo one day training in association with Alzheimer’s and Related Disorders Society of India (ARDSI).
Any example of how your effort has helped a patient?
One of our clients, aged 80 years, used to be always confused and would talk to herself, before she met us. We helped diagnose the problem and figured that she suffers from dementia of grey matter. Once we started visiting her we figured that she is very fond of cooking and it has been her lifelong passion. So we helped her start a food blog, with one recipe a week. The blog is read and commented upon regularly by her children and grandchildren. We read out these comments to her verbatim and this activity keeps her grounded and close to reality. The knowledge of the fact that we will visit her on Monday, Wednesday and Friday keeps her oriented and calmer. She now introduces the ECS to others as her friend
What is the typical profile of your clients?
It is a 50:50 split between NRI and Resident Indian clients. Mostly it is the children who sign up for our services for their parents/ grandparents. Usually elders are closed to the idea of engaging an outsider’s help, while the adult child is keener on making life comfortable for them.
How has been the experience so far?
So far the journey has been exciting and gratifying. Response from our clients, both the elderly and adult children has been very encouraging. To hear a “God bless you” from an elder makes us realise we have managed to touch some lives. Decent media coverage and word of mouth publicity has helped us get the much needed mileage.
Art Party organized by Epoch Eldercare
The biggest challenge has been putting our elderly clientele at ease, since they are usually not very receptive initially. During the first meeting, the ECS spends time with the elderly client, trying to establish a rapport. Once done, there is no looking back. On the days the ECS is not visiting in person, they speak to the elders over phone to keep the relationship going. Over time the relationship is strengthened enough to receive calls from the elderly clients, whenever they are in need or just want to talk.
What kind of checks and balances are in place?
The Elder Care Manager (ECM) visits clients once in 7-10 days to ensure high quality of services being delivered by ECS. The ECS is also required to submit session reports at the end of every visit and also a plan for the next session, both for internal monitoring and also as regular updates to adult children of the elderly client.
What happens in case of medical emergencies?
We are a non-medical service and do not provide any medical interventions or clinical therapies. In case of medical emergencies, we inform the adult children and assist till help arrives. An emergency response sheet is created at the beginning of any relationship whereby we record the name of the doctor, hospital etc., along with emergency contact numbers and also a brief medical history of the elderly client.
What are the social events all about and how often are they organized?
Social events are organized typically once a month, primarily to up the entertainment factor in the lives of the elderly. In the past, we have organized a fashion show where the elderly walked the ramp, chaperoned by two youngsters; a Dev Anand music night, a makeover party for the women folk and an Art party where they dabbled with paints and canvases.
The events have been a huge hit with the elderly folk. There have been instances of the elderly going back and humming the Dev Anand tunes for days after the event.
How much does it cost to enroll for these services?
All our services are personalised and customised as per the needs of a client. A typical 3 month package where the ECS visits a home thrice a week and spends an hour at each visit will cost about Rs. 11, 000 per month. Six times a week for an hour daily will cost about Rs.22, 000 per month.
What are future plans for Epoch Eldercare?
For now we want to concentrate and establish ourselves in Delhi and NCR. We have just launched in Bangalore and plan to expand to other cities at a later date.
For more details, contact Epoch Eldercare on 0124-426 2561 or visit their website http://www.epocheldercare.com
Gardening can be a hobby that is relaxing and rewarding in equal parts. We speak to some garden enthusiasts to bring you the how-tos of starting a garden.
People who are into gardening will vouch for its health benefits as it is enjoyable, relaxing, physically stimulating and also rewarding. Planting a garden on a balcony, terrace or any place else, watching it grow and then reaping its fruits, literally, can be very satisfying. Besides giving you the daily dose of sunshine vitamin i.e. Vitamin D, it can also serve as a talking point with your grandchildren and an activity that you can do together.
However, we totally understand that the uninitiated may find it daunting and restricting. So to help you get started we spoke to experts to get you some handy tips and also to some elderly practitioners to share their tricks of the game.
You can grow a garden in plastic containers & drums too
Dr. Rajendra Hegde of Vittal Mallya Scientific Research Foundation (VMSRF) who has been propagating organic gardening through his workshops at VMSRF and at ‘Oota from Thota’ events organized by Garden City Farmers group lays down some of the must-haves of starting a garden.
Dr. Hegde makes the following suggestions for starting a garden
Narayan Ramakrishnan’s organic terrace garden
Seems like quite a lot of work? Well, we spoke to a few senior garden enthusiasts to get a clear view.
Narayan Ramakrishnan, 62, has been doing terrace gardening for the last 3 years and resorted to organic gardening about 2 years back. He has been growing a variety of vegetables and fruits including tomato, brinjal, carrot, musk melon and strawberries. He spends minimum 1.5 – 2 hours daily tending to his plants which he feels are like little children that need care. “The more attention you give more returns you get”, says Ramakrishnan. While his wife to helps him he has a gardener visit him once a week to help him with heavier jobs. Ramakrishnan has the following tips to share –
Veggies from Ramakrishnan’s organic garden
Rajagopalan on his roof garden with guests
RK Rajagopalan, 80, was initiated into gardening by his late son-in-law at the age of 75. While he started with ornamental plants he is now growing various vegetables. He is a proud owner of 180 pots were other than growing the usual suspects he is experimenting with wheatgrass, sugar cane, ‘Chappan Kaddu ’, ‘Tinda’ among others.
His daily routine includes 1-2 hours of gardening. He too has a gardener visiting him once a week to help him with more laborious activities like soil mixing, repotting etc. Such is his passion that he has attended VMSRF workshops, interacts with fellow gardeners on Facebook and seeks their inputs whenever needed. He feels gardening has brought him closer to nature and can feel plants loving him back just like his dogs do. “I am sure they can feel my touch”, says this avid gardener.
Palak from Rajagopalan’s garden
Sundari Kannan, 63, is another Bangalore based avid gardener who has been gardening since her childhood with her mother. Today she has a terrace garden that she very enthusiastically takes care of and is assisted by her children whenever needed. “Gardening arouses motherly instinct in every person. With the appearance of the first leaf one gets impatient about further growth and to see a plant respond with new shoots and buds is very exciting. Also, the worry about their well-being is just like worrying for your child and the thrill of harvesting or getting compliments on how tender and delicious the produce makes your heart swell with pride”, says Kannan.
Radish from Sundari Kannan’s garden
Hope after hearing your comrades, you will be motivated to get started. However, do keep in mind the following
If stuck you have plenty of help at hand as you would find various gardener groups on Facebook —- Organic Terrace Gardening, Bangalore Gardeners, Grow your own Veggies, to name a few. VMSRF also organizes Organic Terrace Gardening workshops. Check out www.vmsrf.org for more details
Samvedna Senior Activity Centre in Gurgaon is a happy place for seniors to spend time relaxing or learning something new. We talk to its founder Archana Sharma to find out what it has in store.
Making Christmas cards for the grandkids at Samvedna
Whether it is Valentine’s Day or Mahashivratri, every event is celebrated with equal panache and joy at Samvedna, a senior activity centre in Gurgaon, near Delhi, that aims to provide an environment that is relaxed yet engaging enough to keep elders occupied. Started in November 2013 by former IT professional Archana Sharma, Samvedna offers active seniors an opportunity to meet others of their age and try their hand at various things, from learning computers and playing a game of carom to taking Yoga lessons.
“Samvedna is an organization that was setup to provide services of two kinds to seniors,” says Archana. They provide both community and individual service. Apart from the Senior Activity Centre, they also offer at home services for elderly individuals who are not mobile or living alone and in need of help.
The activity centre is located in Sushant Lok, Gurgaon (Haryana) and functions from Monday to Saturday, from 10 am to 6 pm. Membership is kept at a very nominal Rs. 1500 to encourage everyone and members can come and go as they please, depending on their schedule. There are no restrictions on how much time one wishes to spend here, says Archana.
The Activity Hub
The centre has various activities going on. There is a library and interested elders can play table tennis, carom, scrabble and chess or try exercising on the treadmill. Birthdays and anniversaries are also celebrated on a regular basis.
Archana says that they plan the activities for a month based on festivals and upcoming events, while there are different activities designed every week. Yoga classes are held thrice a week and are specially designed for seniors. Recently, the elders at the centre were taught how to do Suryanamashkar while sitting down, instead of the usual pose that requires lying flat on the back. There is a computer room open throughout that can accommodate six people at a time if they wish to learn how to use the computer or simply browse.
Much thought has gone into designing the activities, so that older minds here are kept agile and alert.
“We conduct regular quizzes to challenge their mind because at this age it is important to use your brain. Our quizzes are on a variety of topics and sometimes more of a recall,” says Archana. For instance, personality identification quiz, identifying logos or advertisements along with quizzes on popular culture, such as Ramayan and Mahabharat.
Archana mentions that there are also workshops and talks held regularly on topics such as relationships, dementia or issues like generation gap that worry many an elder. The in house team or experts in fields like preventive healthcare, law and finance conduct the lectures.
Activities are designed to stimulate the mind. The centre has recently started Spanish language classes as research shows that learning a foreign language may slow down the advent of dementia. “Our members are really enjoying it,” smiles Archana.
Currently, there are 15 regular members at Samvedna Activity Centre, while there are some who join for a short period. What Archana finds heartening is that in many cases, it is the children who are keen on their parents coming to the centre to have a good time. “It shows that the children are concerned, which is a good sign,” she notes.
Focus on Seniors
With a background in the IT industry for 22 years, Archana always wanted to do some kind of work for the elderly. So when she took a break to spend time with her son who was then in high school, she thought of starting something that would have an impact on the society. “As a daughter, I know how difficult it is for seniors to live on their own so I felt that if we could provide any kind of service in this area and create an impact that would be good.”
Terming senior care services a silent need for the middle class, Archana mentions that a centre like this also gives her the opportunity to understand seniors more closely. While eldercare services and opportunities may be opening up in India, she feels we still have a long way to go in terms of setting up the right kind of infrastructure for the elderly and removing the stigma that many still associate with old age.
Celebrating a birthday at the centre
Archana is all praise for her members at the centre. “Fortunately all the people who are here have a very open and broad outlook,” she says, giving an example. “We have a 73 year old cancer survivor who lives alone with husband. She drives around and goes to cancer support meetings to counsel patients and relatives, which is commendable.” The members are from all walks of life, from former servicemen, army wives, former government employees to housewives. People join for various reasons. “There’s a lady who doesn’t know how to read or write and has joined to improve her life skills. There’s a couple who come because the gentleman is an introvert and his wife would like him to meet people and stay happy.”
The monthly membership at the centre covers all the recreational facilities offered as well as one monthly outing that could be a picnic, movie or play. Samvedna’s Home Care service aims at providing intellectual companionship, where volunteers can spend time with seniors, talk to them and engage them in activities. Their general wellbeing is also looked after in terms of runing errands, supervising housekeeping jobs like plumbing or repairs. They also offer tech support, wherein seniors can learn computers or how to use email or video chat services.
Samvedna’s future plans include having a team of doctors to do at home visits once a month for general health checkup and setting up a helpline for their members, to deal with any inquiry. Samvedna’s Home Care services come as a package and depending on the service required could be anything from Rs.10,000 to Rs. 15,000 a month.
You can contact Samvedna Senior Care at:
G-7, Sushant Lok, Phase -3, Sector 57, Gurgaon, 122002
Tel: 098100 42947
091 98184 21446
Email: contact@samvednacare.com
Website
(All images courtesy Samvedna Senior Activity Centre)
— By Reshmi Chakraborty
Dealing with life after retirement is a dilemma many face at their career’s end. If you’re wondering what to do when you retire, here are some tips from The Sadhguru, to make your later years a blessing.
Sadhguru: For most people, by the time they get a little wise about life it is already over for them. The experience of life leaves most peoplewounded instead of wise. But if people with so much experience behind them could make their life’s experience into wisdom, their wisdom could be useful for the world in so many different ways. We would like to make life after retirement very productive.
What to do when you retire?
Different people retire at different stages but generally, there is such a thing called retirement because our body has reached a certain level of incapability. So you bring your work down to a lower level simply because if you push it beyond that, you may “retire” in a different way soon! That’s when for a lot of people, the question comes up: “What to do when you retire?”
Once you retire, there must be a shift of focus from economic and family concerns to something more spirituality oriented. The physical body has come with an expiry date. Once you are over a certain age, however well taken care of you are, you are still a fragile life. Tomorrow morning the whole equation of your life can change, physically. We hope it doesn’t come to you but it is a possibility. Millions of people are going through it. Thinking it won’t happen to you is living in a fool’s paradise. Knowing the possibility and doing the right thing so that it doesn’t happen to you is the sensible thing.
So it is time you activate the other aspect which goes beyond this physical body. That is the spiritual part of you. For a person who knows only the body, old age is the greatest misery and fear. Everything becomes meaningless and burdensome when the body is threatened and begins to creak and groan. But if you have tasted something beyond the physical body, old age will not be a problem, it will be a blessing.
Life after retirement – Make it a blessing
Once you reach a certain point in your life, you must allow at least a certain quota of your energy and life in that direction. If you put the whole of your life and energy in that direction there is nothing like it, but at least a little bit of your life should pursue that. You should have done it right from day one because if you are a keen observer of life, from the very first day you are born there is a reminder of your expiry date. If you are not such a keen observer, by the time you are fifty there are sufficient reminders. As the body becomes more fragile by the day, if you don’t take these reminders into consideration and look beyond the possibilities of being physical, it would be a foolish way to exist.
Once you retire, there must be a shift of focus from economic and family concerns to something more spirituality oriented.
Old age just won’t matter if something within you is very vibrant. When the moment of death comes, you can smile and gowithout any sense of loss because it is not a loss. If life happens, death is a natural process. Being afraid of a natural process is unnatural. This fear has come because of a certain sense of ignorance and unawareness. We are not in touch with reality and we have gotten deeply identified with this body. This has happened because we have not explored other dimensions. No matter what kind of teachings other people give you, whether somebody tells you that you are the soul or whatever else, if your experience is limited to the physical body, the fear of losing it is natural. If we had explored and established ourselves in other dimensions of experience, the body would not be such a big issue. It becomes an easy thing to handle. Life or death won’t make such a big difference.
Source – http://blog.ishafoundation.org/
Picture courtesy: http://blog.ishafoundation.org/
For our Independence Day special this year, we asked readers to send us their memories via articles or photographs. This year we got a number of responses that spoke of the awe and respect that great leaders like Pandit Nehru and Gandhiji inspired in people. We also have a very sweet account by an animal lover that tells of life in a world very different from now. Some of you also sent photographs with interesting stories. Here’s a look at our Independence Day special this year, created for our readers, by our readers. Jai Hind!
Dr. V Balambal, Chennai
I remember the first anniversary of our Independence day. I was studying in St. Peter’s school in 5th Std at Tanjavur. We were asked to come in white pavadai blouse with two plaits with white ribbons and flowers. We were happy to attend the function as our headmaster hoisted the flag. He spoke about Gandhi and Nehru and how we got our freedom. No outsiders were there. We sang Aaduvome pallu paaduvome and the National Anthem. We were given sweets. We chatted with our friends and returned home. The station, bus stand and shops were illuminated in the evening. There were no buses, only walking. Happy days.
Late KM Tiwari (Sent by daughter-in-law Rachna)
These are pictures of KM Tiwari, who retired as President, Forest Research Institute in Dehradun. It has been sent by his daughter-in-law Rachna, who had this to say: He was the only person in India who received the Padmshree from Gyani Zail Singh for his excellent work and contribution in Social Forestry on 26th Jan 1984. He has written many books on Social Forestry and about his jungle experience, including tales for kids about animals named ‘Van Jeev aur Jan Jeevan.’ He settled in Lucknow after retirement and expired in 1994. The picture on horseback is from one of his jungle adventures during his tenure at work and involves probably, jurisdiction and exploring one of the jungles in UP.
Vijay Chawla, 69, Delhi
I am sending you the old memories of of the past which have faded in my mind. Once when I was studying in 7th or 8th class then Pandit Nehru had come in D.A.V. College, Ambala City. Then I observed a large crowd of people who came there for listening to Pt. Nehru. Then there was so excitement and josh in the mind of people. The sound of Pt. Nehru had so much impact and influence in the environment which I felt in my heart even today while thinking of the said day. During those days I after getting influenced by my Hindi class teacher joined Shakha which was the preliminary stage of R.S.S.( Rashtriya Swayamsevak Sangh) I went to attend the same for one or two years. I also witnessed Independence day in Police Lines of Ambala City (Haryana) in my young age. There was a great rejoicing at that time. Policemen march past and the national flag was unfurled. One thing which struck my mind of old days that the atmosphere in which we play with our friends was altogether different i.e. , feelings of insecurity was very less as compared to the present state of things.
Ashok Jain, 75, Delhi
Courtesy: Wikimedia Commons
We lived in a small industrial town in Bihar around that time and my mother and father had been active in the Independence movement. Once as we were growing upwe asked if we could meet Gandhiji and we went all the way to Patna to see him. There has been a huge change in the way we viewed political leaders and accessibility we had and I feel very hurt that it has changed. For me, this is one of the strongest memories. We were lucky as the environment was different. We felt part of nation building.
Why can’t I, in conversation and activities, no longer share with others the joy of being a proud Indian like I used to as a child or as college student during the early years of independence anymore? As children, collectively we spent hours making the Tricolor and trying to hoist it at the highest accessible point, with water streams for rivers, cotton pads for snow covered mountain peaks, taking out Prabhat Pheri processions shouting ‘Bharat Mata ki Jai’, walking up to leaders to shake hands and get autographs. The country belonged to us; we saw ourselves as part of nation building.
That has changed. National building is now seen as a job of the Government. We have become passive beneficiaries, sufferers or protesters.
Rosline Valsala, 59, Bangalore
This incident is not really about Independence Days and dates back to when I was about 7 years old. A friend of mine, who was also a neighbour living across the fence, had a feast at her place one evening. I was invited for the same. However being a vegetarian I was quite disappointed when she told me that they will be making dosa and chicken curry. She showed me a cock tied to a tree that they planned to behead in the evening as an offering to God and then cook into chicken curry. As a consolation my friend told me that she will bring me sweets in the evening and went away.
I love animals, so once she left I quietly went across the fence and untied the cock and put it in a bag and ran away from there. I took it to a well and put it inside telling that it will be safe there and I will come back next morning with a lot of rice for it the next day.
By the time I was home, the neighbours had discovered the cock was missing and were unable to place him. In the end they concluded that a fox must have taken it away. I kept quiet about all this and as promised I went next day with a bag of rice, the moment I could sneak away. However to my horror the rooster had been gobbled up by a snake. I was devastated and I cried for whole week. I could not relate this to anyone as I felt very guilty, not even to my grandmother. I was 20 when I told a soul about it.
Vathsala Madhavan, 65, Bangalore
This was while I was going to government all girls middle school. It was quite a chore for my mother to get us ready , with white uniforms (long skirt , blouse and white tape , kaakada or jasmine for my double long ‘pinnal’ or jade (in kannada) . My mother was busier than us as it was rainy season and she had to get the uniforms washed , dried and ironed . We never went to school alone! Along the way, we picked other classmates; we always walked to school, unless it rained! It was a km away. The function started with a prayer. I had two cousins, both good vocalists learning classical musicin my school ; invariably they always sang for all ocassions at school ! We did kolam, drill with lazeems, danced to ‘Tharakka bindige na nee reege hoguve/thare bindigeya bindige odedare moore kasu thare bindige ya.’ There was flag hoisting by some VIP ; then distribution of some laddu, candy or some goodies and we all dispersed shouting: Vande mathram , Bharath matha ki jai
Indu Ramesh, Bangalore
I was just ten when we became independent. We were living in a pace called Tarikere in the old Mysore state. I was ill , but my mother woke me up at near midnight to join the procession organised by some people. I wore all the warm clothes and went out to join them. I was farely well known as somebody who could sing at all occasions. At midnight my friend from school and me had the honour of singing VandeMataram at the town square. It was motley crowd of students, merchants etc, but we really thought we became fully independent on that day.
Rameeza Rasheed, Chennai
I celelebrated my first independence day when I was 5 years old and when I was in the 1st standard, i.e. in 1952.
The usual singing, flag hoisting and sweet distribution and a guest’s speech were there. One girl was decorated as Bhrath Matha in white sari and a crown and she was carrying a big Indian flag. Then she gave a speech on the relevance of independence and made mention of great freedom fighters like Gandhiji and Nehru and some local freedom fighters.
But when I was in the fourth standard, notices were pasted on Independence Day on the walls informing about a meeting in the evening in the ground near the Big bazar of our village I attended that meeting with a senior citizen known to me. All those who gathered there were given sweets, stamp size national flags and pins. All of us pinned it on our blouses and shirts. The loud speakers were playing Bharadhiyar songs. Then, the VIPs of the village belonging to different communities were seated on the stage. All of them gave short speeches and talked about Gandiji’s leadership and the sacrifices of every one. The village school girls presented a dance programme on Bharadiar songs.
But I vividly remember one thing. When the National Anthem was sung everyone stood in attention position in silence and the emotion of patriotism filled us from head to foot. The same feeling we had on every independence day celebration. Every house used to hoist the Indian flag. All the shops used to be decorated .
I am a college professor (now retired) But now I am very surprised when I see VIPs and the guest speaker invited for Independence Day and other occasions in colleges bend down their heads as if in mourning and stand at ease position when National Anthem is sung and the students talk without any patriotic feeling and many youngsters do not know to sing it. I often wonder whether their School teachers have taught them the courtesies to be shown to the flag and National Anthem or not.
Sasanka Sekhar Chakraborty, 71, Kolkata
If you ask me about one memory that’s seared in my mind, it is probably from sometime just before Gandhiji’s death in 1948. Gandhiji and Pandit Jawaharlal Nehru had visited Kolkata (then Calcutta) for a meeting. I went with my dad and must’ve been around 6 years old. I remember walking quite a part of the distance with a sea of people. We also boarded a bus at some point and all the tickets were free on that day. What I remember the most was the crowd of people to see Pandit Nehru and Gandhiji and hear them speak. More than anything there was the infectious excitement and energy of everyone around. These were leaders who gave us hope and people believed in them. To have been part of that even at such a young age, feel and understand it, was amazing.
Despite knowing his way around the kitchen, Delhiite Rajinder Narang had never tried his hand at making rotis. In this short and sweet piece, he writes how his daughter encouraged him to take it up and cross the final barrier!
Photo courtesy: Anamika Sharma
Twenty-seven years ago, while travelling from Chennai to Delhi by Tamil Nadu Express with my family after a week’s holiday in Ooty, I met a Tamilian travelling to Delhi with his family after visiting his relatives for over a month. Both of us were looking forward to reaching Delhi and the reason was the same: we were missing rotis!
The love for roti is such that you can eat any amount of rice or bread but you are not satisfied till you have eaten rotis. The only fast food joint worth a mention in my book is Nirula’s in Delhi, which gave us the first taste of burgers and pizzas, but was successful only because it also served rotis, to appeal to people of all age groups and tastes.
I learnt to cook in my youth, at first just to help my mother when all my five sisters got married one by one and left home. That was just basic cooking: making egg, toast, and tea. My love for tea, and my getting married to a girl who was not fond of tea, meant that I am making my cup of tea everyday till date. The only change is that instead of Darjeeling tea brewed in a tea pot for 5 minutes and served with very little milk, now the tea is made in an electric kettle with a tea bag in the cup.
Coming back to rotis, ever since our daughters got married, my wife visits them for a week or two. Initially she used to cook vegetables and leave them in the fridge for me. I used to heat them and eat them with bread. Then I learnt to make a few vegetables, and she started making few parathas and leaving them in the freezer. I took out two at a time, heated them, and ate them with the vegetable I made.
This time, my wife had gone initially for 15 days. She had made around 50 parathas and everything was going fine till she announced that she is going to extend her stay for another 15 days. My parathas were getting over, so she suggested I get some more made by the maid. For a person who likes to peel, chop and cook vegetables himself, it was not an agreeable proposition. Then my elder daughter, who is in Amsterdam, said, Dad why don’t you cross the final barrier and learn to make rotis yourself? She sent me a YouTube video on how to make rotis, and warned me not to try making them for the first time when I was very hungry. She also advised that I apply a good amount of dry flour to the dough so that it does not stick to the roller or the base.
So I tried and was successful, and now that I have been making rotis for the last 3 days, my roti-making skill is getting better day by day. I must thank my wife for giving me an opportunity to learn, and my daughters for encouraging me to cross the final barrier.
Do you wish to cross the final barrier like Mr Narang and add roti making to your kitchen skills? Anamika Sharma of popular food blog Madcookingfusions shows you how here. Enjoy ?
It’s a rapidly changing society for the elderly in India. Several senior citizens live away from their children who may be working elsewhere and despite health and mobility issues have to pluck up the will power and energy to complete chores and tasks on their own. We bring you yet another organization that aims to help them along the way.
A helping hand
It’s wonderful to see organizations that aim to make life simpler and easier for senior citizens in our country. Pune based MayaCARE is one such organization started by Manjiri Gokhale Joshi and her mother Dr Vidya Gokhale in 2009.
What they offer
Operational in Bangalore, Mumbai, Chennai, Hyderabad, Delhi, Ahmadabad, Nasik and Nagpur apart from Pune, Maya CARE offers a host of services for senior citizens that include outdoor services like accompanying the elderly to the doctor, railway station, airport, functions or anywhere else that they need to be taken to. Volunteers also help with buying medicines, bill payment, groceries and other tasks where seniors who aren’t very active would need someone’s help. Some of the help offered at home include reading to them, delivering library books, helping them with paperwork and in some cases helping them with the computer. “Two of our seniors are writing books and one of them has lost his eyesight. We help them with writing and editing,” says Joshi, whose daughter has been one of the young volunteers!
The best part? Maya CARE’s services, available for two hours, come free. You need to give them at least 24 hours notice to avail the service. Much of the service depends on the elderly person’s need, though Joshi emphasizes that volunteers are not meant to do any domestic chores. Maya CARE is flexible about the requirements. “It could range from sorting out books to helping a person with his/her LIC policy. All our services can be customized,” Joshi says.
In 2011, Maya CARE launched the Visit-a-grandparent initiative, under which an individual or company can sponsor a visit starting at Rs 200 onwards. “To maintain transparency, we give the contact details and pictures to the donors,” Joshi adds.
How they work
Since this is a self funded venture, Maya CARE keeps the expenses as low as possible. So far all their clients have come by word of mouth and through their website http://www.mayacare.com. Everybody in the team works from home and their volunteers include housewives, students and even working professionals, who are contacted depending on the area of coverage and need.
People interested in working with seniors can work as volunteers with Maya CARE. They need to fill out a form that can also be downloaded from their website. When volunteers visit the elderly, they carry an ID that has been issued to them by Maya CARE. Joshi has taken care of the smallest of things. E.g., the Maya CARE logo in the card is a big one so that it’s easy for even elders with poor eyesight to see. When volunteers escort the elderly back home from somewhere, say a function or wedding, they are instructed to first go inside and switch on the light, making it easy for the elderly to follow inside.
Joshi is matter of fact when she says that they aren’t transforming lives but “just trying to make seniors do something that makes them happy.”
Thanks to Maya CARE’s services, many seniors in Pune who were earlier confined to their homes have started attending weddings or going for musical functions as there is someone to accompany them.
Maya CARE also has a tie up with two IT companies to provide sponsored services for parents of employees placed abroad.
And while Maya CARE services are available free of charge for everyone, they are open to donations. Joshi adds that many people voluntarily contribute.
She cites one instance where they accompanied a group of 10-12 seniors for a movie screening in Pune.
“We got the tickets, our volunteers picked them up, showed them to their seats, took them back. When there are people to do these things for you, it becomes easy for the elderly,” she explains. In another instance, when an elderly lady had to be picked up from the railway station in the middle of the night, it was Joshi’s own brother who volunteered. “The lady was overwhelmed and said this is not a service, this is family,” recalls Joshi, who adds that is how everyone is treated.
A former journalist who moved to the corporate world, Joshi wants to get Maya CARE to a level where it is self sustainable. She is also clear that she doesn’t want this to be an elitist service that few can afford.
“Initially it was very difficult for us to convince elders,” says Joshi, who believes most seniors in the family would ask their children not to spend on them. She is extremely honest when I ask her why the services are free. “There are seniors who say we don’t need it (the service). We were a paid service for the initial one and half to two years, before we realized that our concept was right but the model was wrong. People want to compare the cost of things and this is a new concept.”
Joshi also has a strong volunteer network across cities. Sudha Gokhale, their coordinator in Mumbai, is herself a senior at 72 years. She says that the simple services, which basically take over the work busy family members cannot, has made life easier for many seniors. According to Gokhale, while the service is most well accepted in Pune, other cities are slowly getting aware. Joshi adds that most people, who once try it, want to use their services again.
How to get in touch
To contact Maya CARE, get in touch on their helpline number 9552510400 (Pune) or Mumbai 9594073475
Email: service@mayacare.com
Or visit their website http://www.mayacare.com
Paneer is pretty much a staple food in Punjabi households and Kadai Paneer a popular dish. Our reader Rita Chawla shares with us her recipe of Kadai Paneer. Happy Sunday cooking!
Kadai Paneer
Ingredients
(Serves 2)
Cottage cheese/ Paneer – 250 grams
Onions – 2 medium sized chopped
Tomatoes – 4 big chopped
Capsicum – 1 medium
Ginger garlic paste – 1 tsp
Kasuri methi – 1 tbsp
Coriander powder – 2 tsp
Chilli powder – 1 tsp
Whole red chilli – 1
Bay leaf – 1
Salt – to taste
Oil – 3 tbsp
Coriander leaves – for garnishing
Method
About the author Rita Chawla is a Delhi based homemaker who loves entertaining and feeding people. Her food is quite popular among her family members and her granddaughter is a big fan of her cooking.
Online libraries have made browsing and borrowing books easier for many people. Here’s a look at some online libraries in Bangalore (with a list of online libraries in other cities too!) and what they offer. By Nidhi Chawla.
Books, books and more books!
Go down memory lane and one can remember libraries as huge halls lined with endless rows of shelves, brimming with books, tables and chairs as tiny specks in between. At the librarian’s desk you will find a serious-looking person carrying out the task of stamping the books and your membership card.
Fast forward to present day and you will find yourself sitting comfortably on your couch, browsing titles and ordering books by clicking a few keys on your computer. Voila! The books get delivered at your doorstep. This is the convenience of new-age online libraries, making it easy for elders and young alike to read books that they always wanted to without stepping out of their homes, whatever the reason may be.
However if you would still like to touch and feel your books before you bring them home, some of these new generation libraries offer you this experience too at their brick and mortar outlets. But you may find that your membership card no longer requires a librarian’s touch but can be read by a computer through Radio-frequency identification (RFID) technology, a wireless non-contact system using radio-frequency electromagnetic fields to identify and track objects automatically.
Libraries today have indeed come of age. We take a look at some of them, based in Bangalore.
Easy Library: Started in 2001 by US returned professional Vani Mahesh, Easy Library has been one of the pioneers in this arena. The library’s only physical outlet is located at 4thblock, Koramangala, and houses around 25,000 titles including fiction, non-fiction, classics, bestsellers, children’s books, comics etc. The library today has 2,500 members split 50:50 among online and offline members. Of these, approximately 10 percent are senior citizens. About having only one physical location, Vani says, “The theme of EasyLib is to be an online library. The primary purpose of the physical outlet is to host events like book readings, workshops, story-telling sessions etc.”
ASHOK BANKER AT EASY LIBRARY
The library organizes events regularly and is hosting a book reading of writer Anjum Hasan’s ‘NetiNeti’ and Brinda Narayan’s ‘Bangalore Calling’ on August 4th at their premises.
Ordering books online is simple navigation and involves three steps: Login-Browse-Order.
Books are typically delivered the next working day, if reserved before 4 pm. To help you choose, the website offers a list of new arrivals, bestsellers, award winners and also EasyLib’s recommendations.
Joining EasyLib is equally easy and they offer multiple membership plans to suit your requirements. A book is issued for a period of 14 days and can be extended if the book has not been reserved by any other waiting member. For a relaxed reader, Vani suggests taking the Flexi Plan that offers the convenience of borrowing any number of books at a time for a monthly fee of Rs. 100. However, to get your membership started, you need to deposit a refundable amount of Rs. 1,000 and Rs. 250 as registration fee. You have the option to choose a plan for delivery too.Please check out http://easylib.com/plans.asp or call the library for further details.
Senior citizens can avail special discounts offered by the library. Please speak to Easy Library for details.
JustBooks: JustBooks, a venture of Strata Retail & Technology Services Pvt. Ltd., a NSRCEL-IIM Bangalore Incubated company, was started by a team of retail and technology professionals in 2007. JustBooks, a retail community library chain, is now a leading name in the area of neighbourhood libraries and has 40 outlets spread across Bangalore alone with a presence in 10 cities across India.
The JustBooks model has many interesting features. It works as a network of libraries where the books are moved across the web as per the need or demand at different outlets. It also uses the revolutionary RFID technology to make the process of choosing and checking out at the library automated and hence hassle free and less time consuming. However you will always find a customer relationship manager to help you out, if needed.
JustBooks’ USP is its wide presence, affordable price points, no late fees, unmanned RFID based kiosks to browse and check out and also convenience through its online portal that ensures that books are delivered at your doorstep. With over 5, 00,000 books across different categories and languages, the library has a book for everyone. They also offer you a list of new arrivals, top rentals and editors’ picks that are updated weekly.
Akhilesh Kataria, the technology head at JustBooks says the online process is simple and user friendly. Three clicks and the book will be delivered home over next 3-5 working days. The company is also working at introducing new accessibility features like text to speech, large font size etc, which would make it easier for seniors to access the site.
DIGNITARIANS AT JUSTBOOKS EVENT
JustBooks works on a franchise model and most of these franchisees organise regular events at their outlets. Some of these are of interest to seniors as well. Recently, JustBooks Vidyaranyapura organized a week-long workshop for children in association with Vidyaranyapura Diginity Foundation Coffee Chavadi (VDFCC). The Dignitarians conducted informative talks on topics like ‘how to conduct yourselves at home and society’, ‘How to keep healthy and fit’ and organized workshops like ‘How to draw cartoons’ and also conducted quizzes, fun games and brain storm sessions.
JustBooks too has various membership plans to offer as per your reading habits. Check out http://justbooksclc.com/membership_plans for details.
MyLib: Similar to EasyLib, MyLib also follows the one physical location and an online portal model. Located in Jayanagar 9th Block, the library houses more than 25,000 titles across four languages. Books are delivered within two working days after an order has been placed and can be kept for as long as you need without attracting any late fee. They also offer an additional feature of pause membership where if you are travelling out of town, you can return your books and won’t be charged for the unused months. No forms, no prior intimation is required. Minimum pause period is 30 consecutive days. Membership plans are available at http://www.mylib.in/membership_plan/
Librarywala: Librarywala.com, a wholly owned subsidiary of Dharya information private limited, is another online library chain present in Mumbai, Pune and Bangalore. It has over 25,000 books to choose from, in English and Kannada, for its Bangalore readers. Offers free pick-up and delivery and no late fees. Membership plans can be viewed at http://www.librarywala.com/web/PricePlan.aspx
While talking to a couple of these libraries, we found out that they have more opportunities to offer than just rent out books. EasyLib’s Vani Mahesh can help you set up a neighbourhood library of your own. The team can help right from choosing the books to choosing the technology and also help catalogue books, lay down terms and conditions etc.
JustBooks welcomes seniors to take up a role of Library Manager at their franchisee stores. “Eligibility criteria for this position would be a pleasing personality, good energy levels, customer service orientation and adaptability towards technology,” says D. Ravi Kumar, AVP, Business Development. “Seniors interested in taking a franchise are also welcome. The typical investment required for a full format JustBooks store is between Rs 12 to 15 lacs. The important criteria to be met are in terms of the franchisee interest and energy levels, the right location, a correct assessment of the catchment area and initial response from the local community and residents.”
Presently, JustBooks is also on the lookout for franchisees to partner with them for opening up libraries across India. JustBooks assists franchisees in a wide variety of ways – from site selection, store fit out, branding and marketing aimed at creating awareness and visibility before and after library opening, staff training, supply of books and offering a wide variety of membership plans designed to attract every conceivable type of book reader. “Needless to say, technology plays an important part in our industry and we provide complete IT support,” Ravi Kumar adds further.
So now if you need a read but can’t head to a library, head for the computer instead and let the library come to you!
There are several senior citizens who face abuse from their loved ones in some form or the other. On June 15, World Elder Abuse Awareness Day, Silver Talkies brings you the harsh truth about elder abuse and the help senior citizens can seek.
“I would rather not talk about it,” says the reluctant lady as her relative hands over the phone to her. It’s futile asking her to speak, even anonymously. According to the relative who is taking care of her now, the lady in question, a Delhi resident aged 72, was asked by her son and daughter-in-law to leave the house after an argument and agressive behaviour from them regarding property. She took shelter with the relative believing the son would ask her to return after things cooled down. “It’s been more than seven months and we haven’t heard anything positive, even though the property is in her name,” the relative adds. The elderly woman has refused to go to court, believing that family troubles are best solved by family itself and taking refuge in God.
It may sound improbable but Elder Abuse is a grim reality. A recent report released by HelpAge India says that nearly 31 percent of the elderly in India faced abuse in some form. The report is based on a sample survey of elderly across 20 major cities. Fifty six percent of the elderly interviewed felt that it was their son who abused them, while 23 percent felt it was the daughter-in-law. A similar study by HelpAge in 2011 on abuse as well as crime against elders in primarily poor households in nine cities, found 63.4 per cent elders naming the daughter in law, followed by the son (44%) emerged as the main abusers.
HelpAge India’s 2010 study focused on elders from the educated middle class in 8 Indian cities, where 53.6 % of the elderly stated, they were abused by their own son followed by a close second by their daughter-in-law (43.3%). The facts may be surprising but they aren’t new. Elder Abuse occurs in several families but often goes unreported or is swept under the carper for fear of going against one’s children.
What constitutes Elder Abuse? The definition adopted by the International Network for the Prevention of Elder Abuse states the following: a single, or repeated act, or lack of appropriate action, occurring within any relationship where there is an expectation of trust, which causes harm or distress to an older person.
The abuse can be physical, emotional or financial.
In Bangalore, a 65 year old senior citizen was physically abused by his daughter for not bringing in any income. “I worked in Kuwait all my life earning money for my son and daughter and saw them settled,” he says amidst sobs, adding that both his son and daughter were good to him while he earned money. Angered by the father not getting an income and fearing he would become a burden on her, this senior citizen’s daughter hit him hard enough to break his glasses and hearing aid.
“My daughter studied in a reputed Bangalore school, works for a well known IT company and has a good income, yet she harassed me by not offering me food at times and not letting my brothers or sisters visit me at home,” says the senior citizen who now does the odd typing work to maintain himself. He filed a complaint against his daughter at the local police station and when they failed to take action, contacted the Senior Citizen’s Helpline run by Nightingale Medical Trust in Bangalore. The senior citizen’s daughter and wife were issued a notice, though they have so far failed to make an appearance before the Helpline’s advocate.
Why are cases of abuse on the rise? According to those who work in the area, increased life span of the elderly and a change in traditional family values have led to cases of abuse, exploitation and desertion of older persons. Elders suffer physical, emotional, and financial abuse in silence as ill-treatment and abuse occurs mostly within the family. What makes it worse is that In India, effective support systems to address this issue are almost non existent.
Gerontologist Dr Indira Jai Prakash says that elder abuse is still a hidden problem and both victims and people who would like to help victims find it difficult to define it adequately. While legal sanctions are necessary, there is also need to sensitize people about this issue. It is also vital to have a bottoms up approach so that people who are the main target or are potential targets are made aware of how to identify, prevent and protect oneself from such situation. Community can play a very important role in both preventing the abuse as well as empowering the elders to fight back against such violation of their basic human rights.
To support this cause, Nightingales Regional Resource & Training Centre, an initiative of Ministry of Social Justice and Empowerment, Govt of India and a project of Nightingales Medical Trust in collaboration with Federation of Senior Citizen Forums of Karnataka is organizing a Workshop on the Role of Community in Sensitizing and Evolving Methods of Prevention of Elder Abuse in Bangalore on June 15.
Under this program, senior citizens would be involved in defining what they consider elder abuse, and also outline how communities can help in empowering elders to protect themselves. Instead of ‘ telling’ them, they will be’asked’. A practical manual will be developed from the ideas and suggestions gathered.
Silvertalkies wishes this project every success. Watch this space for details soon.
About the Elder’s Helpline
In Bangalore, the Elders Helpline is a joint venture between the Bangalore City Police and Nightingales Medical Trust and has succesfully resolved over 1100 cases.t Since its inception in 2002, it has received over 45,047 calls, averaging at around 40 a day. The helpline staff include social workers, counselors, volunteers, legal professionals and police personnel. The services offered by the Elders Helpline include helping elders in distress; facilitating police intervention in serious cases; information on personal security, medical issues and other daily needs; tracing missing elders; creating awareness about elders’ rights, children’s responsibilities, responsibility of the public in minimising crime and violence, dispute resolution and free legal advice among others. Based in Shivajinagar, Bangalore, you can contact the Elders Helpline on 1090 or 080-22943226 (8 am to 7 pm), Monday to Sunday.
Helplines in other cities
In several other cities, Cordaid – Support Services for the Urban Elderly and HelpAge India manage a helpline. Here are the numbers:
Bhopal: 1800-233-1253
Bhuvaneshwar: 1800-345-1253
Chennai: 1253
Delhi: 1800-180-1253
Kolkata: 1800-345-1253
Mumbai: 1800-180-1253
The Dignity Foundation too runs a helpline to help elders who are being harassed or abused. Do check the following link for numbers in different cities. http://www.dignityfoundation.com/community-care/dignity-helpline.html
(With inputs from Nightingale Medical Trust)
With families separated across the global village and time zones, perhaps the elderly with their wealth of wisdom can reach out and lend a guiding hand to the young in their vicinity, whether family or not. A thoughtful essay by Abraham Kuruvilla.
Lending a helping hand
Sixth standard in Mumbai seemed like a walk in the park but for those thorny fractions. Adjusting to a change of system and syllabus in the middle of the academic year was very unsettling. All because of his bureaucrat father?s untimely transfer!
Tuitions could bridge the fractional gap created by the missed term. Private tutors were available closer to school in Bandra. Their timings were inconvenient for 10-year-old Anand with his home in Vile Parle. Anand?s fear of fractions and ratios was worrying the father but not the son. Cricket in the evenings was more important than a few marks lost. What was all the fuss about, was he not amongst the top three! Yet, his father worried, why the otherwise clever brat could not get the hang of it despite his efforts to make him understand.
The summer hols of ?58 saw the family in Kerala. Grandma searched for a retired math teacher. Help came in the form of a younger relative; once a Montessori teacher. She insinuated into Anand?s playful frames of reference with broomsticks, matchsticks and raw mulberries. An hour a day, over 20 days did the trick. Ungainly numbers paired with sticks and stones bridged the fractional divide. At the end of it, all she accepted was a token gift. As for Anand, he never looked back, as far as PCM was concerned.
?Why should I spend my hols with Grandpa?? Every odd year they vacationed at a resort in India or abroad and now at 14, Anita was being asked to spend a month in hot, steamy Vizag. She wondered why. She relented when her father explained that Grandpa, a retired professor of Physics, was committed to banishing the ghosts of the subject from her head. He was doing so, for free, for children in his neighborhood. She wanted to be an IITian and without its modulus she knew she?d see stars even if she cracked JEE. The story goes that in the process Anita and her Grandpa got inseparably close. She spent about a week a year with him for the next 15 years, till he passed away. Not to forget; Anita sailed through IIT and then into the prestigious TIFR.
The global village, with vexing time zones, 24/7 service levels, IPR, gadget geeks, time-share, mobile banking and the social media, has perhaps lost track of such niceties of life; niceties as old as time.
To begin with such gestures were perhaps confined to the immediate family circle when parents or close family members uncovered latent talent in the young. They helped one become aware of one?s abilities. A discovery of oneself in more senses than one! Mentor son of Anchialus of Troy took it to another level and gave it a name. ?Mentoring?; a transaction from the heart that shares knowledge and imparts wisdom for the pure love of it!
Socrates mentored Plato over decades; did he charge him for it? Aristotle mentored Alexander perhaps not entirely for free. Isaac Barrow mentored his namesake Newton perhaps for an apple in return. Gurus tutored shishyas in gurukulums of yore, for 10 to 12 years, all for some heartfelt acknowledgment. Gandhiji mentored Nehru surely not for anything more than a Namaste. Nehru in turn mentored Kidwai, what was the motive one may ask! And from his cell he also mentored Priyadarshini and that was between father and daughter.
Didn?t the legendary Jordan mentor Kwame Brown? Achrekar coached Tendulkar but could Marc Anderson be counted as Zuckerberg?s business mentor? The list with different flavors goes on and on. A mentor, coach or guide, whatever the name, draws out the latent genius from the ward provided the vibes to share originate in the heart and not the head! It?s given free with no strings attached but for the strings that knit two hearts and minds together over time.
Our global village is increasingly being infested with beehives, anthills, pigeon holes and poultry farms of human settlements, with no queen bees, queen ants or mother hens to hold communities together. They come from far and wide, de facto aliens, perhaps homesick in their pigeon holes, unaware of neighbors till kindred droppings spoil their morning walks. Fathers in Shanghai, New Jersey, Melbourne or Montevideo with mothers and children in Gurgaon, Pune, Chennai or Bangalore or vice versa with spouses changing places! Many in their twenties, that formative age, according to Sharon Doloz Parks1, when the hand of a mentor could shape their future! Such are the nuclear families that have just traversed the Large Hadron Collider of world trade; searching for their own God particle.
Where are the loving, now retired, parents and grandparents? Perhaps in their own ivory towers or resigned to some up-market geriatric pasture. Don?t they have roles to play other than during the baby sitting season? How they miss their grandchildren in their growing years! How they miss that baby talk, that elixir of screeches, squeaks and pranks that could keep them young. ? Arguably the best insurance against Parkinson and his cousin Alzheimer! Is Skypeing the answer across incompatible time zones?
There is so much to share without escaping to Skype! Their heirs will inherit their depreciating assets but who is to inherit the love in their hearts and the ripe wisdom in their minds? The Jonathan2 in them wants to soar and teach the chicks the nuances of the glide. But where are the chicks?
Some families have just returned to base after a hiatus abroad. Who is to help them find their bearing in the heap ahead? Not their parents for they are longing for them in another city. Friends and relatives are no different from them, chasing their own tails. Cultivated anonymity and acquired loneliness are part of their accompanied baggage. And then, untouched by them, there are their chicks who like our once little Anand miss a guiding hand in trying to come to grips with a different system and what now looks like an alien culture? There are some like our Anita with a dialect that?s less understood.
The answers are not far to find. The high density urban spaces of today are replete with neurons waiting to be fired. Teenagers looking for a gentle guide and the younger ones looking for a tip to place the decimal point! Young adults in the rat race wanting to learn, from an older caring voice, how to handle failure and success with equanimity! When to duck and when to hook! Pearls of wisdom that no business school can impart with conviction! All from the heart3 with no strings attached. Mentoring is the current fashion in the business world but not yet in civil society at large and definitely not in clustered urban living spaces where the unspoken need is high. Barkis4 could be willing but how is Peggotty to know?
At the other end, with kith and kin far away, are the grandmas, grandaunts and grandpas with time on their hands and wisdom in their hearts to balance the equation. Wise are they to know what ails the younger ones and what could make them feel at home. Perhaps too proud to even suggest that they would expect caring gestures, not condescending crutches, in return! In a world of apparent strangers they hesitate to make the first move other than return a wry greeting in the park or at that noisy mall.
Who is to reach out, that?s the question. Society would charge grandpas and grandmas to make the first move. Notwithstanding forums that encourage such communion, is collective social awakening nearing a critical mass? Perhaps it is, for then our Anands and Anitas could discover their Grandmas and Grandpas next door. Fusion is perhaps close at hand to circle the square5 and prove Kipling6 wrong.
1. Sharon Doloz Parks: Social researcher and author of the book ?The Critical Years?
2. Jonathan the self actualized Seagull from the book Jonathan Livingston Seagull by Richard Bach
3. See Blogspot ?To Give or not to Give? at http://mumblingskeptic.blogspot.in/2011/11/streaming-mind-9-to-give-or-not-to-give.html
4. Barkis & Peggotty; silent admirers from Charles Dickens? David Copperfield
5. Square: A nerd
6. Rudyard Kipling with reference to his famous lines ?The East is east and the West is west and never the twain shall meet.
About the author: Abraham Kuruvilla describes himself as a management consultant, technocrat educationalist and a low-key activist. He is also a former electronics and telecom engineer. He lives in Bangalore and blogs at http://mumblingskeptic.blogspot.in/
Blogger, photographer and avid traveller Deepak Amembal visited a very special place with his wife on their anniversary. Here’s his account of their trip to Vaishnodevi.
At Katra
Was surfing the net for a place to go for our 29thwedding anniversary and stumbled upon IRCTC’s package for Vaishnodevi which fit the bill perfectly! After conferring/confirming with my better half, booked the package online, all in a matter of an hour! The package included the train fare from Bandra to Jammu, taxi to hotel in Katra (2 nights stay), taxi back Jammu and the train to Bandra!This package would ensure that we visited Vaishnodevi on the day of our anniversary!
A couple of days prior to the commencement of the journey, IRCTC called up to give us our seat/berth numbers.
We boarded the train at Bandra at 8.00am and had an uneventful but wonderful journey to Jammu. As we were nearing Jammu, we got a call from the hotel informing us of the taxi arranged to transport us to the hotel from Jammu, giving us the taxi number and the taxi driver’s telephone number.
Reached Jammu next evening, and took the cab waiting for us to the hotel in Katra. The Jai Maa Inn in Katra where we were booked was a wonderful hotel with comfortable rooms and friendly efficient staff.
Families on their way up
While checking in at the hotel, the receptionist advised us that they would arrange for the Vaishnodevi Yatra slip which has to be acquired after registration at the Yatri Registration centre (YRC) near the Katra Bus Stand and we could start our Yatra next morning at 08.30am after a good night’s rest and a hearty breakfast. The hotel car would drop us to the place where our Yatra of 13.5 kms climb would begin.We dined in their restaurant where they served delicious vegetarian meals. The thali was sumptuous enough to lull us to sleep.
As promised our slip for the Yatra was ready at the reception in the morning and the car ready to transport us to the Gates of Heaven on our Wedding Anniversary! On the way the driver told us that for the return pick up to the hotel we would have to call them once we reach the foothills – way to go!
Though there were multiple types of transportation (helicopter, pony/horse, pithoo, palki, electric car) available to go up, we decided to trek it up and down. And amid cries of ‘Jai Mata Di’ we began our trek up.
Pony ride
The pithu
The ambiance all along the route is amazing. There are yatris from the age of 8 to 80 plus.There is an air of devotion and camaraderie all around. You will find individuals all by themselves or groups doing the yatra. Everybody has a smile on their face. Not a hint of hatred anywhere. It is an amazing experience.
The horses have their own lane to trot on and humans may plod on in their own lane to ensure a smooth flow up and down. Once you reach the top there is a place called Bhavan where you have to deposit your mobiles, cameras, leather items (bags,shoes,belts,wallets and the like), footwear in lockers manned by the trust there as you are not allowed to have any of these on your person when you enter the temple. All these facilities are free of cost.
The security all along is very tight and you are frisked and bags checked at least at three different points on the way up.
After depositing our bags in the locker provided, we went on to join the queue for the darshanof Maa Vaishnodevi. The deity is in a cave and there are people in there to ensure that the queue keeps moving, hence we got our darshan within half an hour. You ar not allowed to give any offerings to the deity or to the priest in the cave. There are bins kept outside to place your offerings.
First section gate
We returned feeling blessed by Maa on our anniversary. It took us around 6 hours to do the climb up with lot of breaks absorbing the sights along the way and we reached down in just 4!
We were back in our hotel by 8pm, had a wonderful hot water bath, dined and crashed out as the taxi to take us to the Jammu station would arrive to pick us up at 8am. Our return journey from Jammu would hoot off at 11am and reach us at Bandra at 8pm.
It was a real memorable and blessed anniversary celebration for us!
Here is a poem penned by Vathsala Madhavan and her daughter Radhika. Vathsala Madhavan is 64 years old and enjoying her retirement years by focusing on various hobbies and interests. Some of these include sewing, craftwork, painting and writing poems. We would welcome many such contributions from senior citizens. Please send us your stories, poems or thoughts. Write to us at info@parentcareindia.com.
Heaven on Earth
In this magical garden of Eden
a rich tapestry is woven
with a thread less needle
that only ONE can hold
Dancing, light butterflies
caress the swaying daisies
A fresh, soft breeze
touches the rosy cheeks of a newborn
Cool, calm springs flow
to quench the latent thirst
Gentle showers from heaven
usher in a rainbow to behold
White blankets of snow
purify the heart and soul
The dark canopy with the silver disc
protects with a calming presence
The effervescent lamp in the East
fills the heart with knowledge
And the twinkling stars at night
guide us through the heavenly maze
An enchanting painting in motion
that is too beautiful
to ever describe in its entirety
It’s Heaven on Earth!
Run by Meera and Praveen Khanna, Silveroak Farms near Nandi Hills, Bangalore, combines a relaxed ambience with great views, simplicity and homely warmth. Silvertalkies takes you there.
Silver Oak farm (Picture courtesy: Praveen and Meera Khanna)
Praveen Khanna, the owner of Silver Oak Farms, is a busy man when we reach his farmhouse at the foot of Nandi Hills near Bangalore, after a drive of one and half hours from the southern part of the city. The reason is a large group of unexpected guests who have arrived at the farm by mistake. “They had booked in another resort nearby with a similar name and mistakenly arrived at the farm instead,” says Mr Khanna while trying to organize an itinerary for the group as Mrs Khanna hurriedly gets lunch organized. Sending away the guests, who like the place and wish to stay there, is not an option. “My wife saw that they had kids and wouldn’t say no.” he reasons, giving us a peek into the hospitality that Silver Oak Farms is known for.
Home style warmth seems part of the charm at this farm with lovely views and a grand verandah suited to long lunches and lazy siestas. The Khannas have been running it for almost eight years now after buying a hill and building their home, as Mr Khanna puts it. Though their original concept was to build a retirement home for themselves, the Khannas eventually turned the farm into a homestay, taking in guests over the weekend (Friday to Sunday). You could also visit the farm for a day trip as it is located at an ideal distance from the city.
This is a working farm that has seen a lot of experimentation in its owners’ quest for organic farming. Today, what used to be a rocky and barren land when the Khannas bought it, is a wide expanse of green with fruits like strawberries, papaya, citrus fruits like seedless lemon, Guava, Pomegranate, Litchi and Mango grown here among other things. Most of the ingredients used for cooking come from the farm itself, says Mr Khanna, adding that his wife Meera handles all the cooking herself with help from her staff and gives great importance to quality control.
A believer and complete convert to the methods and benefits of what he calls natural farming, Mr Khanna says though it took some time for the farm to kickstart (it took him three months to get crops after he started natural farming), today he is reaping the benefits. “You assimilate forest like conditions with natural elements like cowdung and let nature work as much as possible,” he gives us a quick lesson, adding that natural farming is much more powerful than its organic avatar.
Mr Khanna’s guiding force is his wife Meera, who hails from Ooty and has gained quite a reputation among visitors to the farm with her mouth watering food. She is also the lady behind an excellent Ginger Lime juice and a variety of pickles, preserves and jams all made and bottled at the farm. You could buy these at the farm on a visit or from the Bangalore Club if you are a member.
The farm is ideal for a day trip on a weekend. You need to call in advance and book lunch or dinner or both as they run on a small staff and need to be prepared. You could club it with a visit to Nandi Hills nearby as well as a Reeling Unit that Mr Khanna mentions is worth a trip. The farm itself would make for a great outing especially if you are in a family group with children. The farm dogs, Mickey and Minnie are well trained and friendly (there’s a tortoise in the indoor courtyard too) and you could go harvesting for whatever fruit is in season.
“We try to keep it homely,” says Mrs Khanna, summing up their motto and adding that they like having guests, especially children. “If people visit, the farm stays well maintained.”
What we liked about Silver Oak Farms is this elderly couple’s enthusiasm and determination in maintaining a relaxed holiday home with great views and a very laid back ambience. Do visit to soak in the feeling of being cut off from the hectic pace of everyday city life and rejuvenate yourself over the weekend.
Call in advance to book a stay or book lunch or dinner at Silveroak Farms. To reach there, follow the directions on their website and chances are you won’t get lost. Don’t expect a board or a gate with a huge sign and there would be no room for confusion. Ask for Khanna’s farmhouse if you are lost once you enter the Nandi village.
For more details, visit the website at http://www.silveroakfarm.com/index.htm
Experience a simpler, more natural way of living at Our Native Village, an eco-retreat in Hessarghatta, near Bangalore, says Reshmi Chakraborty.
Green is a way of life in Our Native Village
Open grassland on the way to ONV
The last leg of the journey to Our Native Village in Hessarghatta takes you through an open grassland, one of the last surviving grasslands in this area and home to migratory birds in winter. Conceived as a 100 per cent eco retreat by founder CB Ramkumar, Our Native Village is one of those perfect places to recharge and rejuvenate.
Winner of several awards for responsible tourism and its eco friendly concept, including the GMR Express Award for Excellence in Environmental Protection in 2011, ONV is now a pure eco retreat with 80 per cent of the power generated in house. Several touches of ingenuity make this possible. For example, apart from solar water heaters, they use boilers that use fire wood to heat water. Special mud bricks keep the rooms cool and air conditioning out. No pesticides or chemicals are used in their property of 16 acres either, we are informed.
One of the rooms in ONV
With 22 rooms, ONV is organic in the true sense of the term. “We do not use room fresheners, only bio cleaners,” says Vijay K Neelakantan, general manager, ONV. True enough, when we walk into the rooms, there’s the beautiful, natural aroma of dhoop all over. What’s more, the rooms are naturally cooled and are significantly cooler than outside thanks to special mud bricks used for the eco friendly architecture of this resort. Neelakantan informs us that the mud was excavated from the property itself. The beautiful thing is that all the rooms have murals on the walls created by tribal and rural artists across the country giving them an unusual vibrant feel.
In keeping with its organic philosophy, the food at ONV is completely vegan and sourced from its own organic farm. They call it Compassionate Food and it means caring enough for the environment by choosing to go organic without harming the earth or animals. The cooks here use whole grains instead of refined flour and jaggery instead of sugar. We are served herbal tea and coffee with jaggery that tastes different but is very refreshing and delicious.
The food cooked here is entirely oil free without compromising on taste, says Neelakantan, adding that they even have oil free samosas! In keeping with its philosophy of being vegan no milk products are used here either.
ONV also offers several healing programs for the tired soul. Some of these may require you to stay for a longer duration and focus on holistic healing. There are Yoga, meditation and health packages. They also offer several Ayurvedic therapies, including mud baths.
The herbal garden
The best thing to do here however is nothing. For those looking for a dose of activity, ONV lays out several options for its guests that could give you a true taste of life in the village. Bring your grandchildren and the whole family along and perhaps you could enjoy a long-missed game of Gilli Danda or try your hands again at Kite Flying. They also take you on a Bullock Cart Ride in the nearby village. You could also take a dip into the pool which is naturally cleaned with aquatic plants!
“Most of our guests are happy to just be,” says Neelakantan, “We are creating awareness about a natural, slower way of life.”
An in house resident
To experience a natural, simpler way of life at Our Native Village, take a drive down to Hessarghatta one of these days. Our suggestion is to meticulously follow the directions given on their website to avoid getting lost. Once there, enjoy the peace and quiet, try Yoga and meditation, enjoy a bonfire under a quiet, starry sky and let the children in your family run around, exploring leaves, flowers and the occasional farm animal. You will come back recharged and happier.
To know more about Our Native Village, visit http://www.ournativevillage.com/index.htm
The School Estate at Coorg in Karnataka makes for a getaway like no other. We offer you a sneak peek.
An endless expanse of greenery, rolling hills and clouds swooping in to cover treetops and peaks with mist; If that‘s the image of a perfect holiday in your mind then Coorg would make the right destination. Located about 260 kms from Bangalore, Coorg or Kodagu is home to the Kodava community, known as a brave warrior clan. Today Coorg is better known for its coffee plantations, wildlife and for one of the largest Tibetan settlements in South India.
A unique way to savour Coorg is to avoid a hotel and book yourself in a home stay, where you can interact with the family and get a feel of the local culture, traditions and way of living. We loved The School Estate, located near Sidapura. If you are looking for a holiday of serenity and peace, where you wake up to a crisp, fresh morning, surrounded by acres of green and the sounds of silence broken only by the rustling of leaves and birdsong, then The School Estate is the perfect destination for you. The estate, bordered by the Kummae river, makes for one of the most exclusive getaways in Coorg.
Home to Mrs Rani Ayapa and her family over several generations, the School Estate started life as a rector’s home.The Reverend Rictor was one of the earliest British missionaries to Coorg, who at the request of the locals, started the first English language school at Madikeri in Coorg. The school was run by the proceeds from his estate, hence the name School Estate, Mrs Ayapa informs us.
The Schoo earliest British missionaries to Coorg, who at the request of the locals, started the first English language school at Madikeri l Estate has been in Mrs Ayapa’s family for the past 90 years and includes about 200 acres, which include a coffee estate, gardens, abundant flowers and beautiful lawns, all combining to make a picture perfect holiday setting. A sense of history has been maintained by the artifacts strewn around the house with the bell from Reverend Rictor’s time proudly announcing the estate’s heritage.
Most guests at The School Estate visit from overseas, with the majority from UK, Switzerland, Germany and Italy. Mrs Ayapa especially welcomes senior citizens, who she feels, would appreciate a holiday that is peaceful and culturally rich. Among the activities The School Estate offers are plantation visits, walking around the area, golfing, cycling or simply lying on a hammock and soaking in the enchanting ambiance. You could also get a feel of regular farm life in the estate by visiting the dairy farm on the premises or seeing how coffee is picked and processed. Visits to local attractions in Coorg like the Golden Temple in Bylakuppe, Dubare Elephant Camp, Abbi Falls and Rajah’s seat could also be organised.
While Mrs Ayapa welcomes all guests, The School Estate is above all home to her family and as such guests need to maintain a certain amount of peace and decorum, the way they would in their own homes. So yes, put your feet up, relax, soak in the ambiance of this impeccably maintained home, learn all about the flora and fauna that surround it but do keep to the meal times and schedules instead of following your own. Dinner is served here by 8.30 pm and the rest of the meals follow fixed times too. Speaking of meals, The School Estate offers excellent al fresco dining opportunities, with meals served outside in the lawns as well. Dinner is usually served on a century old pool table in a beautiful timber floored sitting room. Like we said earlier, there’s history all around here.
The food served is a mix of continental and local cuisine. If you wish to sample authentic Kodava cuisine that could be arranged as well. The School Estate offers guests five rooms with bathrooms. An ideal holiday destination for senior citizens and families, this is a beautiful heritage home stay with a lot of history that needs to be visited and lived in with love and care.
(Photograph courtesy: The School Estate, Coorg)
To get an exclusive pricing at The School Estate, Coorg, please write to us at info@parentcareindia.com.
For more details visit http://www.schoolestate.in/
For many women, life often takes a completely different course after marriage and motherhood in new and interesting ways. Pune based blogger and cook Prabha Kamath tells Nidhi Chawla Manoj how her life took a new direction after further education and learning the computer.
Prabha Kamath
Who says marriage and motherhood is an end to all ambitions for a housewife? For Pune resident Prabha Kamath, 71, life started after bearing three children. A sudden marriage had brought Mrs Kamath’s student life to an untimely halt. Accompanying her husband on his transferable jobs, she grew into the role of a mother without any regrets or complaints. However, this housewife’s journey changed tracks when her husband suggested that she take up her studies once again, through correspondence.
Mrs. Kamath jumped at the suggestion and took up a B.A. correspondence course from Delhi University, which she cleared at first attempt. Her youngest daughter was about two years old at this time so she had her hands full otherwise as well.
The second turning point in her life was a more recent one. She learnt the basics of computer from her daughter around two years back and with perseverance, learnt how to browse the internet and explore a new world. Her husband, an ardent fan of Mrs.Kamath’s cooking, wanted her to start cataloging her recipes and share them with the Konkani community. Hence he prodded her to start blogging on food. Help and guidance came from their US based eldest granddaughter, who helped Mrs.Kamath start her first blog Prabha’s Kitchen on the auspicious day of Ugadi, the Karnataka New Year, in 2009.
The idea of Prabha’s Kitchen was to preserve Konkani cuisine influenced by Kerala, which is where Mrs.Kamath grew up, as it not well documented except in few Malayalam books. Today, she has already documented over 300 recipes in this blog and has about 100-150 viewers on daily basis.
Having accomplished her first agenda, Mrs Kamath started her second blog on Konkani Festivals, where she has been writing about various Konkani festivals, giving finer details like methodology for the puja, offerings, etc. Her interest in blogging did not end with this and she started her third blog Prabha’s Food Court for documenting her non-Konkani recipes. Her latest blog is on Konkani folk songs. The basic premise of this blog is to keep the tradition alive and to hand over traditional songs to the younger generation.
Mrs Kamath’s passion for blogging is well supported by her husband who is the official editor and photographer for all the blogs. With her activities restricted after nightfall, as Mrs. Kamath suffers from night blindness, she starts her day at 5 AM with yoga and walk. In between her household chores and learning spoken Sanskrit language, she dedicates a couple of hours daily to her blogs.
This relentless dedication and commitment to her passion keeps Mrs Kamath happy and busy and gets her a lot of admiration from friends and family. She shares few of her favourite recipes with our readers.
Palya Polo (Leaves Dosa)
Leaves Dosa
This dosa is a favourite of Konkanis. This is a very healthy preparation because of the high nutritious values of the leaves. This preparation can be made by using drumstick leaves, fenugreek leaves (methi) or finely chopped cabbage.
This dosa can be relished even without a side dish. If necessary, any type of pickles/chutneys can go along with it.
Ingredients
Raw rice-1cup
Boiled rice-2cups
Red chillies- 5
Coconut grated-1 cup
Tamarind-a small amla size
Turmeric powder- 1/4 tsp
Drumstick leaves, well cleaned- 1 cup
Asafoetida- 1/8 tsp
Salt to taste
Oil as required
Method
Soak both rice together for 5 hours. Soak tamarind in a very small quantity of water. Grind all the ingredients together, except oil and leaves, to a fine batter. Add the leaves and mix well.
Spread the batter on the griddle in dosa shape . Drop a bit of oil all around. When one side is done,
turn the dosa upside down and fry the other side.
Ash gourd curd curry
KUWLYA AMBAT (ASH GOURD CURD CURRY)
This is another favourite side dish of Konkanis and a bit spicy. It is prepared with lot of vegetables. While it retains its sour flavour, the vegetables in it slightly tone down the spiciness and makes it a highly palatable and delicious dish.
Ingredients:
Ash gourd -250gms
Colocasia(AvalaMande)-250gms
Kacchil(variety of yam)-250gms
Yam-250gms
Curd-1 1/2 cups
Coconut scrapings-1 1/2cups
Red chllies-5
Mustard seeds-1tsp
Oil -2 tsps
Curry leaves – few
Salt to taste
Cumin (jeera)- 1tsp
Fenugreek (methi) seeds -1 1/4tsp
Method:
Clean, peel and cut the ash gourd to medium size pieces. Skin, clean and cut the 2 root vegetables also to small medium size pieces. Cook all the vegetables in a pressure cooker.
Fry chillies in oil. Ensure that they are not over burnt and change their colour. Grind fried chillies and coconut scrapings and make a paste. Add a cup of water and cook the masala with salt for 5 minutes.
Add curd and cook for another 2 minutes. Add the cooked vegetables and cook all together for 2 minutes.
Do phannu (season) with mustard seeds, methi seeds, jeera and curry leaves.
Happy Diwali to all our readers!
Food is an integral part of every Indian festivity and as a Diwali special we have two yummy recipes of ladoos, courtesy Anamika of the Madcookingfusions blog. We start with Besan Ke Ladoo, made on the occasion of Dhanteras and Til Ke Ladoo, made for Naraka Chaturdasi or Choti Diwali.
Besan Ke Ladoo
Besan Ke Ladoo
Ingredients:
Method:
Take a heavy bottom kadai or a pan, add ghee and heat it on medium flame. When the ghee melts, add besan to it and lower the flame. Keep stirring on low flame continuously to avoid any lumps. It took me about 20 minutes to cook the besan on low flame, until I could smell the aroma. Take off the flame when the mixture is well mixed with ghee and the aroma of besan is all over your house. Add a few drops of water and keep stirring to make the besan little thick with granules and give your ladoos a good texture. Let the mixture cool for about five to seven minutes and then add ground sugar (powdered sugar) and chopped nuts.
Let the mixture cool further if you want and prepare small balls by binding it well with your hands.
Til Ke Ladoo
Til Ke Ladoo
Ingredients:
Method:
Take a heavy bottom kadai and dry roast the til (sesame seeds) till light brown. Remove from the kadai and let them cool for few minutes. Coarsely grind them once in a mixer and keep aside. Now in the same kadai, heat the khoya and continue stirring it on low flame for four to five minutes. Add the grounded til and powdered sugar to it along with the nuts and cardamom powder. Close the flame and mix all the ingredients well. Let it cool for few minutes. Now grease your palms with ghee and prepare small lemon size balls from the mixture. Keep aside for an hour and serve.
It’s a five-day Diwali celebration with food on Anamika’s blog, so watch this space for more recipes in the next three days. Happy Diwali from all of us on the Silvertalkies Team.
It is Ganesh Chaturthi tomorrow. Senior citizen Rajini Prabhu shares a recipe of Churmundo or atta laddoos, a must-have in her home on this special occasion.
Ingredients
Atta (wheat) – 6 cups
Sugar- 3 and half cups (powdered)
Upma rawa or fine semolina (sooji) -1 cup
Ghee– 1 and half cup
Cardamom and raisins – according to taste
Method
Heat ghee in a pan and fry the semolina until it is a little red in colour. Mix in the atta and keep stirring on a low flame. You should keep stirring until the raw smell of the atta disappears. It would take about half an hour.
Take off heat. Now add the powdered sugar and cardamom while still hot and mix. Press the mixture down in the pan firmly and set aside for at least two hours.
After two hours, roll into laddoos and decorate each with raisins.
Churmundo or atta laddoos keep for a month without spoiling.
Rajini Prabhu, 66, is a homemaker. She lives in South Bangalore with her daughter, son-in-law and grand-daughter.
Cookbook author and loving grandmother Asha S Philar is a storehouse of knowledge and tales about Konkani Saraswat cuisine, the food from her native land. Mrs Philar’s book, The Konkani Saraswat Cookbook (Published by Terra Firma publications), comes loaded with recipes from the Konkan belt and is neatly divided into sections like breakfast, rice, vegetables, pickles and preserves, home remedies, for babies and new mothers, sea food and so on. What makes it interesting though are the personal notes and observations Mrs Philar includes along with the recipes. “I learnt cooking first from my mother and then my mother in law in Suratkhal,” she tells Silvertalkies. In her sixties now, her cooking skills were further honed as an active participant of the Ladies Club in the Regional Engineering College campus of Suratkhal. “We would give live demos of the food, just how they show on televised cookery shows today,” she remembers. The book was a result of gentle prodding by her brother and sister-in-law and is aimed at “young people” according to her. It’s also her way of recording a kind of food that is fast disappearing from modern kitchens. Mrs Philar shares a recipe of ‘Surnoli’ from the book and says this spongy yellow polo or dosa, is a great favourite.
“The slightly sweet taste is its special feature. If you are a first-time maker of surnolis, follow the recipe carefully and plan small quantities over a period until you get the moist, spongy texture right. In Baindoor, on the highway, people stop to eat at Shanbhag Hotel, well-known for surnolis. They are served here with butter and—as if they weren’t sweet enough on their own—with sugar sprinkled over!
Surnoli
Spongy Surnoli
(Makes about 18–20)
3 cups rice, wash and soak in 6 cups water for 2 hours
1 teaspoon fenugreek seeds, add to the soaked rice
1½ cups beaten rice (poha) or puffed rice
½ teaspoon turmeric
2 cups curd (yoghurt) or buttermilk
Mix together and set aside: 3 tablespoons coconut, grated; salt and gud (jaggery) to taste, dissolved in a little water
Grind the soaked rice and grated coconut until medium-fine, then add the poha–buttermilk mix and turmeric, and grind further, but stop when the batter reaches a very slightly coarse texture. Put it in a large bowl to leave room for the batter to rise. Cover and set aside to ferment overnight.
The next morning, add the salt and gud and combine well. The batter should have an easy pouring consistency. To prepare the surnolis, heat the griddle, then lower the heat to medium-low. Pour a ladleful of the batter on the griddle in a circular motion, starting from the middle and working your way to the centre. Do not spread with the ladle as the surnoli need to be spongy with holes appearing as it cooks. Spoon a little oil round the edges. Cover and cook for a few seconds until light brown on one side. Surnolis are generally served flat, in a pile, and eaten with butter. Some like it with lemon pickle, possibly to add a dimension to the slightly sweet taste.
If the batter tastes very sour, sprinkle a little sugar over each polo, cover and cook. In place of the poha (puffed rice), soak a slice of bread with the rice, fenugreek and turmeric, and follow the other steps. Some people like the additionally lighter and porous texture this gives the surnolis. You can also add tender coconut pulp (½ cup), while grinding the batter, to make soft surnolis. In that case, reduce the grated coconut to 1½ tablespoons.
Recipe image courtesy: Terra Firma Publications
Wish to share your favourite recipe with us? Know someone whose culinary skills deserve to be recorded? Write to us at info@parentcareindia.com