Silver Talkies Magazine

A divine day trip to the temple town of Kanchipuram organised by Silver Talkies was memorable for our member Preeta. She shares her experience here. A must-read if you're planning a visit! 

I'm going to tell you the story of a memorable day trip. The destination was the temple town Kanchipuram, and the agenda was to see at least four temples, visit a museum and buy sarees! On February 27, we started our journey early in the morning from Chennai and headed towards Kanchipuram accompanied by our guide Abhirami Shyla. Our first stop was breakfast on the outskirts of the city, after which we proceeded to the Kanchi Kamakshi temple, an ancient and beautiful temple. The temple is famous for its captivating idol of the Devi, with a big Sri chakram on the floor in front of her. The Alankaram of the Goddess was Saraswati Devi and she sat in a majestic but serene splendour with the Veena on her lap. Nidhi, who is the co-founder of Silver Talkies, had made arrangements for a special darshan so we were able to sit close to the sanctum sanctorum and peacefully offer our prayers to the benevolent Goddess.

Our next stop was the Ekambareswarar temple. The temple has an interesting legend associated with it. Once, Goddess Parvati playfully closed the eyes of the Lord from behind, just like children do. However, the world was immediately plunged into darkness as each of the lord's eyes are the sun and the moon that power the world. Since they were forcibly shut, the world was eclipsed and living creatures were unable to survive. In response, the Lord promptly ordered Devi to live on earth as a human and repent for what she had done.

A repentant Devi lived on earth as a human. She made a Shiva Lingam out of sand and offered her prayers to the lord. One day, a sudden flood hit the region. Without any second thought, she embraced the lingam in a bid to protect it from the rising water. Impressed by her true devotion, Lord Shiva relented and agreed to marry her. The couple got married under a lone mango tree. The temple legend has it that this mango tree was where the temple stands today. You can see a remnant of the tree trunk and also a much younger tree now that has a beautiful idol of Lord Shiva and the coy Devi Parvati next to him. We had a special darshan of this sacred site as well.

After lunch, we headed to a saree shop where I gave in to the temptation of buying a couple of the beautiful Kanchi cottons with their vibrant colours and beautiful designs! 

Our next stop was at the Kailasanathar temple - this is a very ancient temple from the Pallava reign, made of sandstone and originally had colourful carvings and murals with vivid natural dyes. Sadly, the stand stone carvings have eroded due to the passage of time and the effects of wind and rain. But we could still see the patches of bright colours in some parts. The temple is home to a beautiful Shivling. Our guide Abhirami guided us to structures dedicated to Lord Vishnu and the alcoves where one can still see traces of the natural dyes.

Afterwards, we visited the folklore museum, which was once the family home of Sir C P Ramaswami Aiyar, the erstwhile Dewan of Travancore and a statesman who accepted to be Dewan of Travancore on the assurance that the state would promulgate an ordinance to introduce Temple Entry for all Hindus, irrespective of caste. His first act as Dewan was the introduction of the Temple Entry Act, promulgated in 1936 by the Maharajah of Travancore. This was the first step taken in India to abolish untouchability by direct government action and was much praised and appreciated by Mahatma Gandhi. The house has been preserved very well by C.P. Ramaswami Aiyar Foundation, managed by a member of the family Nandita Krishna. 

  We were able to imagine what a typical Agraharam home would have been like in days gone by. The museum has a vast and diverse collection of Kolu dolls. There was also a zenana or women’s section in the house. In the olden days, this is where the women and children lived. They were confined to the upper floors of the house and communicated with the people downstairs through the windows from upstairs. The most impressive part of the house was the very beautiful pooja room and kitchen, which had utensils from a bygone era.

Our journey led us to the Varadharaja Perumal temple next, a temple dedicated to Lord Vishnu and famous for its distinctive ritual. In the temple tank, there lies a wooden idol of Lord Vishnu, intricately carved from a fig tree. The idol is taken out of the water once every 40 years and worshipped for 48 days with great devotion before being immersed again at the bottom of the tank. This unique practice left us in awe. 

The entire experience of visiting these temples was unforgettable and coupled with the backstories, left us with a deeper appreciation for their significance.

I was fortunate to have a small group of delightful travelling companions -- Mr Iyer, who was witty and entertaining, and his sweet wife Girija. We were joined by Shobha Hebbar and her cousin Suchi and also fellow club members Rukmini, and Radha. As expected from a Silver Talkies club event, one of the organisers took care of everything. In this case, Nidhi ensured our comfort and arranged for us to have good darshans. We also had the pleasure of being guided by Abhirami, who shared fascinating legends about Kanchipuram that made our visit all the more special. By the time we left for Chennai, it was almost sunset, and we were tired but content after a day spent in the cool temples. We felt cleansed and rejuvenated by our serene visit to see these deities. We all agreed that we looked forward to more outings like this in Chennai.

The Silver Talkies Club organises day trips and travel to beautiful destinations both in India and overseas frequently. To know more or become a member, contact us at connect@silvertalkies.com or click here to view plans.

Explore Pottery for Older Adults: A Journey of Creativity and Mindfulness!

Pottery isn’t just for the young and agile; it’s an exciting journey for older adults too! Imagine this: your hands in cool, mouldable clay and your imagination running wild, as you shape it into something truly special. Pottery presents an adventure many of us have longed for, and older adults are enthusiastically diving in, uncovering creativity, relaxation and boundless enjoyment.

Why should older adults try pottery? Let’s start with the pure joy of getting your hands dirty! There's something incredibly satisfying about moulding clay into whatever you desire. From elegant vases to quirky animal sculptures, the possibilities are endless.

But pottery isn't just about making beautiful objects; it's also a fantastic workout for the body and mind. Kneading and shaping clay gives your hands and arms a workout, improving strength and flexibility. Plus, the mental challenge of turning clay into a masterpiece keeps your brain sharp and sparks creativity.

And the best part? Pottery is a great way to make new friends and build connections. Joining a pottery class means being around people who share your passion for clay. You'll laugh, learn, and maybe even share tips and tricks. There's a special connection that comes out of bonding over a potter's wheel and creating memories together.

But perhaps the most magical thing about pottery is how it can transport you to a place of pure calm. Working with clay has a meditative quality that helps you forget your worries and focus on the present moment. It's a refreshing feeling that leaves you relaxed, rejuvenated, and ready to take on the world.

Silver Talkies recently organized a pottery workshop for its members in Pune, and it was a hit! Amidst the whirl of pottery wheels and the squish of clay, members bonded over stories, laughs, and fun conversations.

“The pottery workshop provided a unique experience where I enjoyed crafting with clay, particularly enjoying the wheel pottery. The overall atmosphere was tranquil, allowing me to clear my mind for two hours,” Urmila Dixit, who participated in the workshop, told us. 

Kavita, another participant, enjoyed the workshop immensely. “The pot-making experience was very pleasant. Making things out of clay is very challenging thought is an enjoyable way to pass the time,” she says, adding that to really master it, “basic knowledge along with the practical is needed.”

Recent research has demonstrated that art therapy which included pottery, helped to improve measures of self-esteem, as well as reduced depression and anxiety.

Like any craft, your pottery skills can get better with time after regular practice. Of course, be aware of any back pain issues beforehand and speak to your doctor before starting to avoid further pain.  It is mindful, meditative, creative and a great exercise.  

Got tips, tricks, or clay mishaps? Share them all here and join our interactive pottery journey!

Data on LGBTQIA+ older adults is hard to find. 'An online survey of more than a million queer participants in India, carried out after the Supreme Court decriminalised homosexual activities, showed that almost 40% of the participants were aged 45 years or older, with almost 30% of this group married to women and 20% hiding their gay/bisexual identities from their spouses...' says the study' Psychological wellbeing of middle-aged and older queer men in India: A mixed-methods approach.'

Queer older adults are rarely portrayed, even on screen. The recent Malayalam movie 'Kaathal,' where Mammootty plays a closeted gay man, Sharmila Tagore's queer character in Gulmohar and Manoj Bajpai in Aligarh, are rare exceptions. While the discourse around the LGBTQIA community in India is unfurling and educating us, how much of it has centred around ageing? What are the main challenges a queer older adult faces in an urban Indian society? 

The Fear of Loneliness

 "The fear of being left alone is very high, more so in the gay community, resulting in massive mental health issues," says Vivek Anand, 60, CEO of Humsafar Trust. "One thing strongly lacking is an adequate support system for the older community. The moment you are ageing, you fall off the radar."

"This man from Punjab was thrown out by his extended family when he transferred his property to his nephew's name. He connected with us from Jalandhar, and we arranged for him to move to Delhi. At 68, this man who had remained closeted all his life for his family, taken care of his parents and extended family, was left alone and thrown out to fend for himself."

"We worry about who will take care of us if we get sick, and we don't have any support system in India to rely on. We don't want to depend on anyone, and we want to live on our own terms until the end as we always have," says Sailesh Thakur, 52, faculty of aviation and tourism at Mumbai University. Thakur, who never had family support, was involved with the gay groups in Mumbai and credits their activism and meet-ups for helping him gain an understanding of the LGBTQIA+ world. "That's where I found the courage to come out by seeing others, as I did not want to lead a dual life. I had the support of these groups and the people I met there."

Unfortunately, that kind of a support system is missing for older LGBTQIA+ in India, Thakur notes, making growing older somewhat scary for those without a regular partner or a solid friends and family network to fall back on. "As an older adult, I want to live a healthy life and stay mentally active. I want to be able to go to the bathroom on my own until my last day." Thakur has planned his savings and retirement and hopes these will see him through. "I hope my savings will last for 30 years," he laughs.

The Legal Lack

Having a regular partner and being in a long-term committed relationship can make growing older less lonely, though it's not smooth either. Same-sex marriages do not have legal sanction in India, with the Supreme Court declining to legalise same-sex marriage in Oct 2023.

Dr Roop Gurshahani and his partner Neil Pate have been together for over 20 years and tied the knot in London. Throughout their journey, Pate and his partner have cared for their ageing parents, managed both their stellar careers (Dr Gurshahani is a neurologist/Neil Pate is a senior journalist) and had the support of their family and friends. Despite this, growing older comes with enough challenges due to the lack of a legal sanction.

"In the case of LGBTQIA+ individuals, it's crucial to remember that, unlike heterosexual marriages that often lead to extended families and legal support through marriage certificates, same-sex relationships do not have those. In our country, same-sex relationships and marriages have not been recognised, and this has become a significant hurdle. Even something as fundamental as medical insurance is a challenge. For instance, both of us are doing well in our respective careers, but obtaining medical insurance, a simple necessity, is complicated. We can't get insurance for each other." 

Pate has seen the loneliness and absolute isolation of many older adults in the community once a partner has passed on. He has also seen many being ostracised by their own family and society. He adds that these "seemingly mundane issues of insurance and legalities" become vital as one ages. "In the unfortunate event that something happens to either of us, the first person with the right to decide on our behalf, especially in a non-responsive or vegetative state, should be our partner. This becomes challenging without legal recognition. Additionally, for many LGBTQIA+ people, the support of extended family members is crucial in such situations, and it's not always guaranteed that someone will step in to help."

Smita mentions a heartbreaking incident. "Some years back, a friend of mine lost her long-time partner. They lived with their families but had been together for years. As her partner became frail and incoherent in the last days, the family took over and deliberately kept my friend away from the hospital. Ultimately, she didn't even get to attend the funeral."

Wellness Worries

Health-related worries are common with age, and the LGBTQIA+ community is no exception. "I can tell you anecdotally that in the last decade, HIV infection has been rising among older gay men. Negotiation for a condom is very low for that age group, especially among gay men married to women, and there is always this fear of being found out. That risk is on the rise, and as a result, the vulnerability to HIV has increased in the gay community," says Vivek Anand.

Anand says organisations like Humsafar Trust are very well-equipped to handle the issue. Humsafar Trust's data reveals that 95% to 98% of people who tested positive at their testing centre have recovered.

"But the problem comes with older men who don't want to acknowledge they have tested positive and go to a treatment centre due to inhibitions they grew up with. The older generation requires a lot of counselling, given the stigma, societal pressure, and embarrassment. So HIV is a rising problem among older gay men, and vulnerability is very high, contributing to mental health issues."

Dr Gursahani, Consultant Neurologist at PD Hinduja Hospital, Mumbai and an advanced care planning advocate, suggests that regardless of relationship status, an Advanced Care Plan (ACP) is important for the LGBTQIA+ community to have in place for end-of-life situations as people grow older. An ACP is a process to guide decision-making about your health care when you cannot decide for yourself.

Watch this video to hear his presentation that outlines it in detail: https://youtu.be/ifvQOGxSbPc?si=pUK2NVtC_rzYvquS (56:00 onwards)

One of the critical worries remains mental health as most 50+ LGBTQIA+ in India have grown up in the shadow of Section 377, which criminalised them, along with other challenges.

"The challenges faced by LGBTQIA+ ageing populations in India include limited access to health services, social challenges such as loneliness and isolation, difficulty integrating with the population, lack of social support, stigma, insufficient social services, and marginalisation, adding to the stress. Elder abuse is also a major concern. These factors make it challenging for older individuals to seek help when needed,"

As everyone interviewed tells us without exception, the older generation grew up in an era that criminalised them and marked them 'abnormal'. It has been internalised to such an extent that many still hesitate to seek help.

 The Ageism Within

Professor and ageing studies scholar Tannishtha Samanta from Flame University, Pune, points out that the LGBTQIA+ movement in India does suffer from an age bias.

"The movement, led by youth in metropolitical cities, has not been able to include the 50+ population as part of their activism. This is, of course, not a failure of the movement but primarily because middle-to-older queer persons grew up in a regime where sexual cultures were more stifled, both socially and legally. Hence, many of them led dual lives and continued with their erotic lives that remained invisible. Additionally, the gay movement in the 1980s received negative attention from public health programs due to the high rates of HIV+ persons in their community. This constructed their lives in the language of promiscuity and illegitimacy. The abrogation of Section 377 helped the younger cohorts, but it did not radically change the social lives of those in their middle to older ages."

Dr Banerjee says few older adults are visible even at Pride marches. "Covert ageism is a vicious cycle in the older LGBTQ community. In a country like ours, there are already difficulties for the LGBTQIA population, and the social care services for older people are not great. This makes it a double jeopardy." The social stigma around queer people and sex above a certain age adds to this further. "Sexuality in older adults itself is a taboo and stigma. Imagine talking about sexuality in the older LGBTQIA population! Hence, a lot of issues, such as sexually transmitted diseases and substance abuse, remain unresolved as people do not approach health care because of this social and self-stigma."

It's unfair to generalise the dating scene for LGBTQIA+ older adults. We struggled to find women who would speak to us for this article. Nisha (name changed) mentioned that she had mainly been single after her partner, whom she had known since college, moved out. "I've managed a few dates, but dating remains tough for a 54-year-old single woman, gay or straight."

"The dating market for older queer persons remains circumscribed within the prejudices of age and masculine vitality. Our research on Grindr (a gay dating app) shows how older gay men navigate the online dating space by suppressing their numeric age and through self-disciplining exercise regimes (to look 'younger' and hence desirable) and outlandish sartorial choices to "fit in," says Dr Samanta.

But there's a bright side to it, too, she notes.

"Our conversations with gay older men in long-term relationships outside the Grindr grid revealed contrary narratives of hope and companionship. Some of them noted that their long-term living relationships with a same-sex partner were seldom brought under scrutiny since male friendships or 'dosti' are socially valued and approved!

Seeking Solutions

 The support system for older LGBTQIA+ across India still needs to be improved. According to Anand, there are very few support systems like Humsafar Trust for the ageing queer population. There have been organisations like Gay Bombay and Seenagers, but many have fallen back on the advocacy angle. Seenagers was established by noted gay rights activist Ashok Row Kavi, though it has recently remained somewhat inactive. "However, we are now trying to make it an actual support group, where older gay men could have a network for healthcare needs through each other," Thakur, who has been part of Seenagers, says.

Pate says support groups for older LGBTQIA+ need to go beyond sex and relationships. "If I'm 78 years old, my needs in life extend beyond just the sexual aspect, though that is a biological need. I'll need a support system that includes medical assistance if I need hospitalisation. In the LGBTQIA+ community, finding someone to take an older adult to the hospital becomes a basic concern. You may have to rely on a kind neighbour or some close friends. However, your close friends may all be in the same age group as you, making the help uncertain."

Organisations like Helpage India and ARDSI Kolkata remain queer-friendly, inclusive, and sensitive. Dr Banerjee emphasises that we sensitise sex education, which shouldn't only be gender binary. He highlights the need to protect the rights of gender minorities, including the third gender, who also age over time. His work on transgender older adults during the pandemic shows the need for holistic care of gender minorities.

During her research, Dr Samanta has often observed how the non-kin family is an important element in the queer community and thinks they should be considered legitimate caregivers. "Many queer persons consider their lovers, friends and companions as part of their "chosen" families and rely on them in sickness and in health. Why can't long-term companions and friends be considered legitimate caregivers and receive benefits from the State just as those within the biological family are entitled to? Civil partnerships exist in many European countries and hold significant promise for a country like India, which relies heavily on the family or market provisions for care in old age, without social security and universal health coverage." 

Sailesh Thakur would agree with her about the non-kin support system. Despite being a single man who does not have any support from his own family, he is optimistic about the network he is part of to see him to the end. "I have an alternate family -- good friend circle, both gay and straight, who I can fall back on." 

Useful websites

https://humsafar.org/

https://ardsikolkata.org/

https://www.facebook.com/hpqiorg/

https://www.facebook.com/seenagersgupshupgroup

If you thought a trek was challenging, try finishing the Land's End Sundae at the famous Ghirardelli Ice Cream and Chocolate Restaurant in San Francisco.

In the final lap of our six-month-long U.S. tour, we embarked on a memorable Sunday adventure in the enchanting San Francisco Bay Area, Our itinerary included a visit to Muir Redwood Park for a trek, a glimpse of the iconic Golden Gate Bridge, and a sweet stop at Ghirardelli Square. However, our trek at Muir Redwood Park was cut short due to slippery conditions after about a kilometre, forcing us to turn back.

Navigating through the heavy Sunday traffic, we were able to enjoy the breathtaking 1.7-kilometer-long Golden Gate Bridge, while moving, which offered spectacular vistas of the San Francisco skyline, Alcatraz Island, and the Marin Headlands.

Our next destination was Ghirardelli Square, a historic landmark in San Francisco's Fisherman's Wharf neighbourhood. Originally a chocolate factory and the headquarters of the Ghirardelli Chocolate Company, it has transformed into a vibrant shopping and dining hub, boasting various restaurants, shops, and boutiques. 

Navigating through the narrow streets of San Francisco, particularly en route to iconic spots like Ghirardelli Square, is an adventure in itself.  The city's steeply inclined narrow streets and the sluggish pace of traffic can make the journey quite an experience. It took us a whopping 15 minutes to cover just 200 meters! Descending was no less of a challenge. It felt like descending a winding spiral staircase, slowly and cautiously manoeuvring through the blind curves.

Do watch our YouTube video of the famous zigzag drive!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DdWSTL8KkF0

Travel tip: If you plan to visit on the weekend, be prepared for parking challenges. Luckily, the Ghirardelli Ice Cream and Chocolate Restaurant complex offers basement parking for its patrons. After parking, we soaked in the natural beauty of the surroundings, including stunning views of the San Francisco Bay, the Pacific Ocean, and the lush hills and mountains.

Our visit to Ghirardelli wouldn't be complete without indulging in their ice cream delights. My wife, son, and I opted for the World-Famous Hot Fudge Sundae with Vanilla ice cream, adorned with handcrafted hot fudge, cream, diced almonds, a cherry, and a milk chocolate Caramel Square, totalling 970 calories. My brother planned to share with his wife the 'Lands End' Caramel Brown Sundae, featuring a full-sized chocolate brownie, vanilla ice cream, and a generous serving of whipped cream, caramel sauce, chocolate sauce, a cherry, and a large banana, packing a whopping 1750 calories each. My sister-in-law insisted on having a full portion for herself and a cup of drinking chocolate (490 calories), bringing the grand total to 2240 calories.

What we didn’t know was the portion size!

Surprisingly, the 'Land End Sundae' proved to be an 'endless' challenge, and they couldn't even conquer half of the colossal portion. As for us, we valiantly finished our cups, refusing to let such decadence go to waste. What an unforgettable experience, brimming with exceptional entertainment value.

In contrast, at the table next to us was a family of four. Husband and wife ordered the Lands End Sundae and others ordered a cup of ice cream. The husband finished his platter and ordered a strawberry cone. Then he polished off more than half of the Lands End platter that his wife couldn’t consume.  We were awestruck. 

For those with health-conscious minds, a pro tip: Pair your Lands End Sundae Glutton Ice Cream Platter with a Diet Coke to strike the perfect balance between indulgence and keeping your diet on track!

Do you have a fun travel tale to narrate? Share with us in the comments below or email it to editor@silvertalkies.com

Calling our Members to Write for Us!

Silver Talkies Members get a unique chance to get published with us. We welcome travelogues, family recipes, memoirs, oral history accounts, short stories, poems, humour and personal essays, tips on living well, and if you are a qualified subject matter expert, then your thoughts on your chosen topics as well. Please email us at connect@silvertalkies.com to know more!

Musings on Karma’s action and its consequences by our member

Karma is conceived as mere action, but, in reality, it comprises both action and its consequences. Here, action includes thoughts, words, and deeds. Every action we take is like a seed that will produce results in our lifetime or future lives. We can't explain why actions have results or when they'll happen.

For instance, in a mishap, not everyone involved may face the same consequences. The concept of cause and effect governs our lives. In this sense, karma is a precise science, leaving no room for omission or error in karma accounting. Karma works over many lifetimes. The seeds of karma stay with the subtle body, even after the physical body dies.

There are three types of Karma, as described by Sri Sri Ravishankar Guruji:

1. Prarabdha Karma: Ripe karma about to fruitify in this lifetime.

2. Sanchita Karma: Accumulated karma acquired over various lives, yet to bear fruit.

3. Aagaami Karma: New karma planted, which will bear fruit later.

1. Law of Cause and Effect: Actions have consequences.

A woman in her fifties fell from her fourth-floor apartment window while cleaning it. She fell between the concrete wall of the party hall and the garden area. She missed hitting the concrete walls by a few inches. She broke her back and legs. She was in the hospital for many months and bedridden for a year. Despite the major injury, she can now walk without help. It's truly a miracle. So Karma works in a subtle way.

2. Law of Creation: We can create a brighter future through positive actions.

Example: This real story of Arunima Sinha is worth noting. She lost her leg and stayed in the hospital for four months. Despite this, she didn't feel sorry for herself. Instead, she worked hard and climbed Mount Everest. She received the Padma Shri Award in 2015. 

3. Law of Humility: Avoid blaming others and accept faults.

This law warns us to be humble and not blame somebody for anything and everything.  Like blaming the weather for some minor changes in weather as per nature.  Similarly, accept your own faults and try not to pass the buck to somebody else to cover personal faults. to attract  bad Karma.

4. Law of Growth: Karma can lead to unexpected heights in life.

In 1964, a middle-class family's oldest son, one of 12 children, got a job at LIC. He earned Rs.600/- per month after completing 10th Standard.  This was a sizeable sum in those days. The family was happy when their son started supporting them early in his life. But, after working for 2 years, he decided to go back to school and study engineering. The family was hit hard by two surprises: losing their monthly income of 600 rupees and not having enough money to support their son's Engineering course.  It was beyond their capacity.  But the boy had a firm goal to come up in life. He received a scholarship and finished his Chemical Engineering degree. He ranked third in his graduating class, joined reputed firms and never looked back!  This shows how Karma can also take a person to unbelievable new heights in life.

5. Law of Responsibility: Take responsibility for your actions.

In a house, husband and wife were frequently quarrelling due to an ego clash. After that, they were not on talking terms for many days. During a fight, the wife blamed the neighbour, hoping to win over her husband. Blaming others for misunderstandings or faults doesn't solve clashes between people. These fights cause a lot of negative emotions in the mind and this will have a spiralling effect on the health of those people.  A prolonged harbouring of such bad emotions will also attract two major setbacks. When you have negative thoughts about someone, they can sense it and feel negative too. Negative thoughts can also cause visible psychosomatic issues in a person over time.

6. Law of Connection: Past, present, and future are interconnected.

This law is based on the idea that everything in your life is connected. It includes the past, present, and future.

7. Law of Focus: Remain focused on goals to avoid distractions.

This Law tells us to stay focused on the main goal and not get distracted by other things.

8. Law of Giving and Hospitality: Charity and kindness bring positive karma.

Offering Daana is held in high esteem in Hinduism and other religions too. When we help deserving people through our charity, we feel positive and blessed. It's good Karma.  This does not need any additional explanations or examples.

9. Law of Here and Now: Living in the present relieves past negative thoughts.

Living in the present is a commonly advised principle. If we stay focused on the present moment, we won't waste energy on negative thoughts or events from the past. This helps us avoid hurting ourselves and losing focus on our current tasks.  This approach also helps us be more vigilant in our daily lives to lead the right path.

10. Law of Change: Avoid dwelling on past negative experiences.

This reminds us of the dangers of dwelling on past bad karma or bad experiences.  Such repeated dwelling on bad memories is likely to recreate the same past experience. This is another offshoot of this. We should practice shifting our minds away from such dangerous topics to avoid such mishaps. 

11. Law of Patience and Reward: Persistence leads to big achievements.

We need to be persistent in our effort to reach the goal by performing positive karmas. A stray single thought cannot reach big achievements without concerted persistent efforts.

12. Law of Significance and Inspiration: Inner inspiration can lead to extraordinary feats.

To reduce bad karma, one can think mindfully, ask forgiveness, forgive others, stay fit, live in the present, and do duties without attachment to outcomes.

In conclusion, as the Dalai Lama wisely said, "Take care of your thoughts because they become words. Words become actions, actions become habits, habits become character, and character becomes your destiny, which shapes your life."

Remember, being happy is a matter of choice, not destiny.

Photographs courtesy: Unsplash & Pixabay

Calling Silver Talkies Members to Write for Us!

Silver Talkies Members get a unique chance to get published in our digital magazine. We welcome travelogues, family recipes, memoirs, oral history accounts, short stories, poems, humour and personal essays, tips on living well and if you are a qualified subject matter expert then your thoughts on your chosen topics as well. Email us at connect@silvertalkies.com to know more!

Ravi Acharya never quite thought he would find himself walking down the ramp in a fashion show. But he is all set to do that this Saturday, as Silver Talkies celebrates Samvaad- Let's Get Social 2023. Samvaad is a unique event that brings together members of the Silver Talkies Club and the younger generation. The event focuses on active ageing and cooperation between different generations.

What made Ravi agree to a ramp walk? His candid reply is that with fewer inhibitions and a lifetime of learning, why not try this out too? Ravi is no stranger to intergenerational associations, having been part of a social movement with many youngsters in his neighbourhood. Many members of The Silver Talkies Club, like Ravi, are trying new experiences at Samvaad. They are participating in a fashion show, a musical extravaganza, an art show, a dance, and a theatre performance.

WHAT IS SAMVAAD- LET'S GET SOCIAL 2023

The theme of World Elder’s Day 2023 (which was on Oct 1) is "Fulfilling the Promises of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights for Older Persons: Across Generations." By the mid-2050s in India, we will have more people aged 65 and above than those under 15. SAMVAAD -- Let's Get Social 2023 will present talented seniors from the Silver Talkies Club, working with the youth in an attempt to change mindsets and turn stereotypes on their heads.

One of the highlights at Samvaad is the fashion show called Journey Back to Youth. In this show, members of the Silver Talkies Club will walk the runway, styled and choreographed by students from the JD School of Design powered by JD Institute of Fashion Technology. This special show tells the story of life, featuring the best of each life stage and their values. It shows how each generation adapts to the present. With stylists and designers of today and models who have gained all the wisdom of the world, this show is definitely one of a kind.

Homai Baria, an enthusiastic Silver Talkies Club member from Chennai is all set to twirl on stage, something close to her heart from the younger days. Homai's first feel of fashion was at 18, when she was "full of josh" and went for an evening outing with a cousin after visiting the beauty parlour. "I was wearing a pretty mini dress, high heels, matching earrings and accessories. We danced away the night and I felt on top of the world," Homai says. Since then, the vibrant grandmother, dancer and actor has not consciously followed fashion but has always been aware of the trends. Kurtas, midi dresses and churidars were her regular wear, much like Mumtaz, her fashion icon of that time. 

"Mumtaz's beehive hairdo, churidars and short tops and dupattas were the rage of that time."- Homai Baria, Silver Talkies Club member

Ravi found one of the students he was working with resonating his own interpretation of fashion or at least personal style. "The student admired her grandmother's fashion sense and loved her neat and crisp cotton sarees." It reminded Ravi of the habit of neatness he inherited from his own father, a well-groomed gentleman, whose way of being immaculately dressed had a deep impact on his own life."

For stylist Anshul Rander too, the older generation has been an inspiration. "My grandmother has been a great inspiration throughout my life, influencing my fashion choices as a child, and even encouraging me to pursue fashion designing. Even at the age of 85, she was perfectly skilled in threading a needle and stitching or making amends in older garments. Upcycling is a very important value I've learnt from her," Anshul says.

Suma M, Academic Manager, JD School of Design powered by JD Institute of Fashion Technology, says the highlight of the event is the focus on the seniors who are illustrating the beauty of intergenerational connections. "In today’s time, every group of elderly is becoming fashion forward and have a deep inclination towards technology. Be it asking gazillion questions about mobile phones, smart watches or TV to their kids or grandkids or learning to experiment with their outfits and style by imbibing the energy of youngsters, the elderly population shows the impact that today’s generation is making and how the learning channel is both ways."

"In a world often divided by generational gaps, this fashion show fosters empathy, understanding, and shared experiences that break down the barriers, and showcase how we are all connected, regardless of our age.”

- Suma M, Academic Manager, JD School of Design powered by JD Institute of Fashion Technology.

Being understood by the younger generation boosts energy levels and broadens horizons. During SAMVAAD-Let's Get Social 2023 preparations, it was fascinating to hear stories of participating members adding new words to their vocabulary, such as "Bumble", during rehearsals with young professionals. SAMVAAD means "conversations." Silver Talkies created SAMVAAD for meaningful conversations that promote awareness, exclusivity, and inclusion. SAMVAAD- Let's Get Social 2023 is an opportunity for two generations to come closer, collaborate and in the process, gain empathy and compassion towards each other.

- Nidhi Chawla, CEO & Co-Founder, Silver Talkies

"I really feel fashion is what you make of it," says Homai, who loves all things bright and beautiful and celebrates age and the opportunities it has brought her, very often through the bonds she shares with younger people around her. There couldn't be a better summary for this vibrant intergenerational event than that.

We hope you are going for Samvaad-Let's Get Social 2023. Share the joy with us by posting your thoughts about the show here or on our social media page!

The Friday Memory Cafe in Pune is an initiative of Madhurbhav, which runs a care home for senior citizens. The Udbodh Project in Kochi also offers a Dementia Memory cafe as part of its activities. You can look up dementia resources across India by clicking here.

How do these resources help the person with dementia and the caregiver?

Memory cafes and training can help not just the person with dementia but also the caregiver.

"Caregiver education is crucial due to the diverse nature of dementia. Families need practical insights and support to handle the challenges effectively. Compassion fatigue and unpredictability in caregiving emphasize the need for training and support groups. Untrained caregivers can inadvertently provide inferior care, leading to violence, neglect, hygiene issues, poor nutrition, falls, and associated injuries. "Training can prevent mistakes and improve the lives of dementia patients," says Soumya Lakshmi, a Senior Gerontology Consultant in Bangalore. Soumya is currently writing a book called ‘Diary of a Gerontologist’.

"Dealing with dementia requires an understanding of its broad spectrum which encompasses various types such as frontotemporal dementia, Lewy body dementia, and vascular dementia. Each type has its unique symptoms and manifests differently in different individuals. Dementia doesn't have clear symptoms like cancer. Instead, it causes different behavioural problems in each person. According to Soumya, forgetfulness and memory loss are common symptoms of dementia. However, behavioural problems can vary from person to person.

During the early stages, behavioural problems can include eating, restlessness, and sleep issues. According to Soumya, it's important to know what's coming. Every day can bring new challenges and make people more vulnerable to compassion fatigue. Unfortunately, I have witnessed many families behaving violently towards their elderly parents due to exhaustion, sleep deprivation, and the erratic, hallucinating, and wandering behaviour of their parent, which is a very common issue.

Soumya points this out with reference to combating caregiver burnout.

"Combating caregiver burnout requires periodic breaks, governmental support, and well-being focus. Caregivers should continue their lives while receiving professional help and training. Caregiving training must encompass a holistic approach, integrating theoretical knowledge with practical experience. Social integration (as memory cafes may offer) and emotional well-being are key components to slow down dementia progression," she concludes.

If you are a caregiver, have you tried any of the above for your loved one with Dementia? Tell us in the comments below.

-- With inputs from Neha Kamalapur, who interviewed Soumya Lakhani.

Note: The cover image (courtesy Pixabay) is for representation purposes only. Memory cafe sessions are not necessarily held in a cafe. They can be held at a care centre, in an institute or any similar venue)

Tongue firmly in cheek, Yashpal Mehta humorously skirts around the garment that not only provided practicality but was also something that added to the charm of the Mumbai monsoon. 

Many rains ago someone eloquently said, “ I shall make salaams at the sight of a skirt before considering the quality of the cloth”. The context in this famous quote is that a lady has to be respected irrespective of wealth, status and features. I am all for it, but where on earth is the skirt?

In the good old days, the first showers of Mumbai rains brought about a change in the wardrobe and presto, out came the skirt. The school teachers’ sedate sari gave way to a single-coloured skirt, and the staff at the office turned either to an A-Line or a pencil skirt to avoid getting wet especially if the commute was by the much-used trains. Wait for the evening and you would be greeted with a pleated or a bubbled skirt with tops to match. The beaches were dotted with sarongs and their ilk. No more dresses, and salwar kameezes, even the most down-to-earth girl would flaunt a flared or a circle for the entire four months of monsoons. 

The choice of a midi, maxi or mini skirt differentiated the avant-garde from the daring. But did the skirt have a kingdom outside of Mumbai? I recall an incident during my internship days while doing my Chartered Accountancy which was both hilarious and worthy of narration.

We were asked to go to the Delhi office to complete an assignment with two other fashionable girls from the Mumbai office. The senior from the Delhi office was a married guy whose Gauna (a ritual in which the girl goes to her husband’s home) was still to be performed. The girls in our team wanted to shop at the famous Ajmal Khan Road Market and turned out in mini skirts much to the embarrassment of our Delhi colleague who refused to walk along with us and stayed ten meters away throughout the shopping sojourn. It became a classic humorous episode recounted in the Mumbai office for a long time. Well, not for all is the finery of the skirt.

These days, the ubiquitous types of denim and jeans are such a bane of fashion that I wonder what makes them so popular. I lament the lack of variety with complete disregard for the gender or size of the person wearing it. 

But why are we even skirting the issue of appearance? 

A young girl was once asked what she would like in her partner, appearance, money or status and her honest reply was appearance any time! I am the same.

Clothes maketh both men and women and if you ask me, nothing adds to a woman’s appearance better than the skirt. Sadly this time, it’s been a month into the monsoon and I have still not spotted the once-favoured and much-liked skirt among Mumbai women in monsoon times.

Photographs courtesy Unsplash

Calling our Members to Write for Us!

Silver Talkies Members get a unique chance to get published with us. We welcome travelogues, family recipes, memoirs, oral history accounts, short stories, poems, humour and personal essays, tips on living well and if you are a qualified subject matter expert then your thoughts on your chosen topics as well. Email us at connect@silvertalkies.com to know more!

A passionate squad of seasoned cyclists and instructors, piloted by urologist Dr Ali Poonawala volunteer to teach the art of cycling to many, including older adults at the Bangalore Bicycling School.

When the ban on motorized vehicles inside the premises of Bengaluru’s green lung space Cubbon Park was implemented in 2015, an idea brewed in the hearts of Dr Ali Poonawala, Chidambaram Subramanian and Anil Kadsur from the Bangalore Bikers Group. Why not teach people of all age groups how to cycle instead? They came together to start the Bangalore Bicycling School (BBS) to provide training sessions and cycles to interested learners, including older adults, free of cost every weekend.

The school runs its sessions in three locations – Sadashivanagar and Begur on Saturdays and Cubbon Park on Sundays.

On a clear Sunday morning, I had a charming visit to Cubbon Park to meet the group– spotting cyclists, skateboarders, joggers, and runners outstretched in all directions. A quiet road near the Karnataka State Lawn Tennis Association in Cubbon Park led me to Dr. Poonawala, Parag Patankar, and a group of trainers and female volunteers from PedalShaala teaching learners to ride the saddle. PedalShaala is a free-for-all bicycle training program launched by the Directorate of Urban Land Transport (DULT) and Karnataka Bicycle Dealers’ Association (KBDA) in March 2023.

The oldest trainee for the day was Roshni, a 72-year-old Yoga teacher and swimmer. Despite the sporty accomplishments in her life, cycling jitters were not a stranger to her as she sat on the cycle for the second time in her life after a gap of 60 years. In two hours of extensive and heedful training, I saw a fervent spark reignite within her.

Roshni’s cycling dreams were triggered by her visits overseas. “My husband was against the idea of me learning to cycle at my age. He said no, you will break your bones. My family had all cycled on our trip to Amsterdam with 2000 cycles parked in that area. I was in San Francisco when I found out about Bangalore Bicycling School online. The minute I stepped foot in Bangalore, I met Dr. Ali and joined the school!”, says an ecstatic Roshni. 

Saraswati, the financial head of a company, was in her fourth session. By now, the sessions had instilled enough confidence in her to scoot down the roads of Sadashivnagar.

“I never thought in my life I would do this. To me, it is so empowering that I can do this. The trainers took me as I am. Suma (her trainer) is so friendly and welcoming. I wait for Saturday to arrive from Friday night itself!”

For many older women, learning how to cycle is a way of empowerment and emancipation. For some older men like Dr Muni Swamappa, it is an attempt at rekindling his youth. Dr Swamappa is “75-year-old only” and has been riding his bike for over a month now.

The trainers at Bangalore Bicycling School apply several strategies in their teaching and follow an extensive 6-step process – mounting, dismounting, resting position, establishing equilibrium, scooting, and pedalling. The golden rule is to perpetually slant your cycle towards the left while landing and relaxing the foot after applying brakes.

The trainers ensure that every step of the training is completed to perfection and provide immense encouragement and reassurance for the trainees to persevere, no matter what their age is.

I was invited to a personal training session, where Dr Poonawala assisted me to strengthen my turning technique and taught me to perform the half-pedal.

How has learning to cycle impacted older adults? 

Patankar, who has been part of the school since the beginning, believes that the introduction of battery-assisted bikes has proven to be an enormous boon for the elderly. Earlier older adults had fears of a decline in endurance while cycling. Patankar believes the electrically assisted bikes have significantly reduced that anxiety.

As for learning how to cycle, most older adults feel enthused about an activity that is considered unusual for them. In fact, he and the trainers observe that older learners learn very enthusiastically and are more ardent than younger people about turning up for class and putting in the required effort.

Most older students come with three primary fears – the fear of falling, the fear of derision as a result of social stigma around the elderly taking up any sport or activity, and the fear of not being good enough. The central motto of the school is safety – and learners are taught how to balance effectively and how to fall safely, should such a situation occur.

A standout memory for me was witnessing a touching exchange between the exuberant Roshni and an astonished onlooker who was around her age and peering at the learners. Dr Poonawala and Roshni warmly urged her to join them next weekend. The onlooker expressed apprehensions about her age and alluded that her saree may not be considered fit for sportswear. Roshni reassured her, creating a safe and encouraging space for the passerby to try something new –a poignant moment of bonding. 

I’ll carry the memory with me for a while.

Connect with the Bangalore Bicycling School here: https://www.facebook.com/learncycling/

Cover image courtesy: BBS

Have you tried learning an activity at a later age? Share your stories with us in the comments below.

Have you been a caregiver or are you one now? Share your journey with us in the comment section below or email us on editor@silvertalkies.com

Trainer, casting director Anita Mithra & actor, and model Kalpana Rao share some entertainment industry tips for newcomers.

Anita Mithra is a marketing consultant, trainer and casting director. She has been using theatre as an effective tool for training and interventions. As a casting director, she has been the starting point for many in the modelling, acting and entertainment industry. 

Here’s a candid chat with Mithra on older people making their space in the entertainment industry.

Are older people getting more visibility in the entertainment industry now, especially ads? Does it make it easier for older adults to step in?

Yes, you will notice that in Indian advertising, dadis and nanis are all in demand now. But it takes a lot of patience and determination to get work. This is because people don't get selected just because they put their good photographs out there. The director has a vision, and the selection is done according to that. If the casting is for a family, for example, then everyone in the 'family' should have a resemblance to each other, and the choice would be based on that. The result must serve the script's interest in the film/ad and not the actor/model, no matter how good the photograph is. As a new entrant, you must keep doing auditions to find that break. So you must put yourself out there and keep trying auditions for various formats (films, ads, shorts) until you find something. 

How do you do these auditions?

The initial auditions are done on your phone by yourself. It requires a little knowledge of how you should shoot yourself, the right lighting and a certain kind of packaging. Aspirants usually do these videos on their own. When shooting videos, you have to do your research and figure it out by trial and error. You need to learn gradually how to deliver in a way that the production agency finds it easy to understand whether you suit the role or not. Those kinds of things require practice and knowledge. Some people have it instinctively but most people need a bit of practice, which comes after a few times.

How do people circulate photos and videos?

Through social media. You can find casting groups on Instagram and Facebook. There are WhatsApp groups you can join. Honestly, I find the best way is to ask people, so if you have a fellow actor, ask them who they're dealing with, and send your profile there. It's a networking exercise.

Is this people can depend on for a second career?

No, you cannot depend on it at all. By and large, I would say 99% treat it as a hobby. It is fun. And occasionally you get some good money too. 

What are the reality checks?

It's a very physically taxing profession if you do it full time. Because your shooting call can start at five in the morning and you sometimes go all night. So you have to be able to travel and stay awake and all that can be quite physically taxing. You have to be able to be prepared for all that.

Having said that, with the increased demand, many people are keen on this field. I’m working with a client, and for a shoot, they asked for six people last year, all older adults. This year the same client has asked for 18 older adults. I have sent them 80 options. The numbers should tell you how many people are available. 

It is important to determine your worth in the market and establish a rate that is not based on your previous experience. If you were a CEO before doesn't mean that you're going to be paid more here. You will be treated as a newcomer. So you have to be aware of the market trend and adapt when it comes to money or long hours. 

Remember that most production houses are poorly equipped to handle children or older people. They treat you like everybody else. So you have to look after yourself. You need to bring your medications along if you’re taking any; if you are diabetic and need to eat on time, carry some food with you. Self-care is very important. You have to be proactive but patient. You need to get used to last-minute requests from production houses. So you will need to adapt to how the industry works.

On an average, what is the money like for a newcomer?

Starting from around Rs 7000 for the day, the money could go up to Rs 25,000 for the day, depending on the shoot, work duration and other factors. 

What is the age group that is more in demand among older adults?

I would say 60 plus because the directors want to see grey hair and lines. So a very well-maintained 56-year-old will not cut it if the role is for a sweet, older grandparent. 

But age is not a bar to an inning in this industry if you have the physical capability. I have somebody in her 80s, and people love her performance. So it depends on the person too.

What are the upsides to a career in the entertainment industry?

You need a lot of patience and determination, but even if you do only one ad in your whole life, that experience is something you will never forget! You will meet a completely new set of people. The experience of being on a set is completely different to anything. 

I would recommend this as a second-inning option, so long as you don't depend on it for your livelihood but as an add-on. Unless, of course, things are different, and you have managed to crack it. I’d say most enjoy the experience and let it be an interesting hobby.

Good to know: Mithra is the force behind The GirlsQuad- A one-minute theatre show featuring 32 women and 48 stories, where Silver Talkies Club members Jayanti, Madhu, Rani, Rema, Shaila, Shakuntala and Vijaya performed along with others. In celebration of women, the play explored senior women and their relationships with the younger women in their lives. Silver Talkies created an opportunity for its members who were interested in acting to participate in the same. To know more about what members can benefit from, click here.

Kalpana Rao, businesswoman turned successful actor, moved to Mumbai to create her successful second innings as an actor and model in her 50s. She had always wanted to be in front of the camera, so her confidence level was always high, and she decided to make the important but unusual move.

Here’s what she had to say:

Networking with people is what helped me find work.

There is no particular right way to approach casting agencies and model coordinators. Google search and scout Instagram and Facebook for casting groups and casting directors. Email or DM them with info about yourself and your pictures. Big names are obviously genuine, but that does not mean others are fake. Trial and error teach a person but do use your judgement.

Few things to remember: First of all, a person needs to have the passion and desire to be in front of the camera. Secondly, it's not a 9-5 schedule. They'll call for a shoot at 4 am and even 9 pm for a full night shift. We often have to wait hours to get called on set, so you must have patience. Use this time to network and learn. 

There are no guarantees; this is one of the most uncertain fields. There are times I have gone through long stretches without getting any shoots. What one is supposed to do is network. It is what gives us the right contacts to get work but again no guarantees; it's a game of patience. Also, don’t hesitate to reach out and put yourself out there. 

Kalpana Rao speaks on her career in the book Rethink Ageing by Silver Talkies co-founders, Reshmi & Nidhi. “If you are focused on something, then work towards it, despite what people say and don’t ever think of age. She now has several ad films and even roles in films with Shah Rukh Khan and Rajinikanth behind her. Find the book here.

Silver Talkies Club Member Lalitha Desikan shares her thoughts on retirement, a sentiment many may echo with.

Retirement? A term long associated with old age, slowed pace, failing health, and a quiet lifestyle.

"Oh good! Put your feet up and just relax".

Great! "You will now have time to stop and smell the roses".

These were comments from people on hearing about my choosing to retire. But ask me - the person who has stepped down – retired! -- from a well-loved, satisfying job, what she feels, and I think the response may be very different!

As you may have guessed, I am in that phase of my life.

I spent more than three decades in a job (do I even want to call it a job?), which has taught me so much about life, people, and growing minds. A job which I thoroughly enjoyed, which gave me dignity, respect, recognition and, most of all, a feeling of self–worth.

Was the money that came with it and will now be no more, keeping me at work long after the 'normal' retirement age? Not really, I can say honestly. However, it did help build my nest egg for old age! Was it power, recognition, or awe … I don't think so again.

I enjoyed my work because it gave me confidence, and I loved the 'respect' it brought. But does it mean I want to cling on to these ephemeral things? Am I really so self-centred? So self–absorbed? Why am I feeling so down in the dumps when my retirement days seem closer than it was a month ago? I shed tears, contemplated, did some soul-searching and think I have some answers.

I will miss the bonhomie, the laughter, and the lunch sessions with the management family. I will miss that 'incredible' feeling when the Head of the Institution tells me she is confident of my sincerity and ability. What I will also miss, I know now, are the interactions with the many people I have worked with. My association and dialogues with troubled/impossible/youngsters and teenagers. My feel-good factor when at the end of a long conversation – starting with denial but leading to self-realisation, it dawns on my student/teacher that there is light at the end of the tunnel.

The comfort with which they leave my room, the little notes and messages of thank you, the shared smile without words when my eyes ask a question, and the other responds in a crowded room – I think these are the things I will miss. Promises to stay in touch. Real now but which I know will fade with time; the professional but personal connection I have with many of my associates and students. I know that is what I will miss; that is what fills my eyes and chokes my throat.

Am I being silly, impractical, immature, or an emotional fool or will my feelings, too, go through the process of grief before there is acceptance and peace? I am practical enough to know I will find both, but I also know that one corner of my heart and mind will always treasure this never to be forgotten experience. 

Do you identify with Lalitha's thoughts during retirement? How did you feel as you neared your retirement? Share it with us here

Images courtesy: Author

Cover image: Pixabay 

Calling our Members to Write for Us!

Silver Talkies Members get a unique chance to get published with us. We welcome travelogues, family recipes, memoirs, oral history accounts, short stories, poems, humour and personal essays, tips on living well and if you are a qualified subject matter expert then your thoughts on your chosen topic. Email us at connect@silvertalkies.com to know more!

The Dera Baba Nanak - Sri Kartarpur Sahib Pilgrimage through the corridor between India and Pakistan is a dream for many. It is also an experience that tells you humanity is the same, despite the borders between them, writes Aarti David. 

I recently had the privilege to visit the Kartarpur Sahib Gurudwara with a bunch of my school friends. It has indeed been one of the most memorable days of my life. Right from the moment we floated the idea of the trip to the day, we managed to get permission to visit. Everything seemed surreal. In fact, it still seems like it was a dream that came true. The thrill of crossing the border beside the religious pilgrimage made it even more enchanting for me. 

We took a flight to Amritsar and then a tempo traveller that took us to Dera Baba Nanak ICP (Integrated Check Post). This is where one has to go through immigration from the Indian side. The protocol is the same as it is for any other international travel. The visit to the Dera Baba Nanak is a daylong affair, and no one is allowed to stay overnight. So my recommendation would be to plan your travel well so that you can make the most of this day and spend as much time as possible at the Gurudwara, bearing in mind that you need time for immigration and security checks at both India and Pakistan sides. 

Gurdwara Dera Baba Nanak is located on the east bank of the Ravi River, roughly 1 kilometre from the Indo-Pakistan border. Kartarpur, Pakistan, is located on the river's western bank. Gurdwara Sri Kartarpur Sahib is located in Pakistan's Narowal region, approximately 4.5 km from the international border, near the historic town of Dera Baba Nanak, Gurdaspur, Punjab, India. The Indian portion of the Dera Baba Nanak - Sri Kartarpur Sahib corridor consists of a 4.1 km long four-lane roadway from Dera Baba Nanak to the international border and a modern Passenger Terminal Building (PTB) at the international border. Dera Baba Nanak is a city created by Sri Guru Nanak Dev Ji's devotees, who named it after their great ancestor. Kartarpur is where he spent the last 18 years of his life. 

  The Sri Kartarpur Sahib Corridor is a visa-free border crossing and a religious corridor connecting the two Gurudwaras in India and Pakistan. You must apply for travel permission from the MHA (Ministry of Home Affairs). Once you are granted permission to travel, you receive an electronic travel authorisation (ETA) which you are required to carry to Dera Baba Nanak ICP. You will also need to bring your passport for immigration. Indian pilgrims entering the corridor must pay US$ 20 at the entry point, so ensure you have this before you set out. The MHA website lists all the do's and dont's that must be adhered to while making this trip. Free-of-cost transportation and other services are available from India and when you cross the border en route to the Gurudwara. 

  As for us, as soon as we set foot across the border, the rain gods decided to give us a grand welcome and bless our journey. It poured incessantly throughout the time we were there at Dera Baba Nanak. However, this did not deter us or any other pilgrims from making the most of this opportunity that each of us had been bestowed with. We were well planned for the rains based on the unpredictable Delhi weather before we set out and had been smart enough to carry our umbrellas. This proved to be a blessing in disguise as we navigated our way across the Gurudwara premises. We did the Darshan, listened to the soulful Shabad by the Ragis and partook of the Kada Prasad on the way out. And I'm not the least bit ashamed to admit that I asked for it twice over and then even asked a friend to get it for me a third time. It was just so delicious and heavenly. We also got some packets of dry Prasad to carry home for family and friends. 

The location of the gurudwara is on the land where Guru Nanak Devji used to farm. Legend has it that his disciples found flowers underneath a sheet the next morning when he left his body. His disciples performed the last rites as per the rituals. A samadhi was built in his remembrance inside the gurudwara; the Muslim disciples buried the flowers, and a grave exists at the spot outside. A well outside irrigated the fields in Sri Guru Nanak Dev Ji's time. It is called the Kuan Sahib, from where we had the holy water and carried some back home.

After the Darshan, we proceeded to the Langar hall, where we were served the most delicious food. The highlight for me was the sweet rice made with jaggery. Most of the people in the hall serving the langar were locals with very courteous and polite attitude and demeanour. When I asked for tea without milk (because I'm lactose intolerant), they were glad to make Kahwa, especially for me. Guru ka Langar is the most satisfying food one can ever consume. We were lucky to have this opportunity. 

Not too far from the Langar hall is a small complex with a handful of shops selling food items, clothing and artefacts. Even though it was raining heavily, we all went to the shops to check out what was available. Among my friends, some picked up juttis (traditional footwear), some dry fruits, some sweets (their Sohan halwa tastes exactly like our Dhoda, only much sweeter), fridge magnets and some dress material. The shopkeepers were very friendly and eager to exchange a word and, of course, sell their goods.

On this trip, one realised that even though we may be divided by a border—we speak alike, look alike, dress alike and eat alike—People are basically all alike. My visit to the Gurudwara was a very fulfilling one. I felt extremely calm and light after. A trip made with childhood buddies is precious, and if it is to a place where Baba Nanak resided in the last years of his life, then that makes it priceless.

For more information, including the application process, visit here: https://prakashpurb550.mha.gov.in/kpr/

All images courtesy: Author

Have you visited this corridor and the Gurudwara? Is this or any other across-the-border place part of your bucket list? Share your thoughts with us in the comments below.

Ramzan is a time for fasting, self-discipline, prayer and reflection. It also celebrates community and coming together over food, an integral part of Ramzan traditions. Those who fast do not have food or water between sunrise and sunset for an entire month. Iftar is the meal to break the fast in the evening after sunset during prayers. Home chef Lamiya Amiruddin shares some Iftar recipes with us that have been part of the family for years.

A home chef based in Mumbai, Lamiya Amiruddin runs her own venture. Lamiya studied Catering & Food Technology at Kamla Nehru Polytechnic for Women in Hyderabad. Her cooking mixes timeless, age-old recipes with her own twists and interpretations. Lamiya comes from the Dawoodi Bohra community and a family of seasoned cooks, which influences her food in the most delectable way. She shares some regulars on her Iftar table during Ramzan, with the memories she and her sister grew up with.

Keema Samosa

The preparation of the keema filling gives off the freshest aromas - when we were kids, every time our cook, Papamma, would start her prep, we would be drawn to the kitchen - the fresh smell of chopped green onions, the fragrance of chopped coriander, the spicy freshly roasted and ground jeera and the tangy tempting squeeze of lime. We’d shovel spoonfuls of this while she would swat our hands away - Bas! Samose ke liye kuch nahi bachega! As we grew older and started observing Ramzan fasts, we couldn’t taste the filling anymore, but the aroma of frying samosas to this day indicates almost as much as the call for prayer that it’s time to break fast; it’s time for iftar. By the way, Papamma always saved us a few spoonfuls of filling to eat after iftar!

Ingredients

1 kg mutton or chicken keema (mince)

1 tsp ginger-garlic paste

1 bunch spring onion, finely chopped

Salt to taste

2-3 green chillies, finely chopped

1 tsp cumin powder

1 small bowl coriander, chopped

1 small bowl mint, chopped

Juice of one lime

1 packet samosapatti

2 tbsp flour (made into a paste with water)

Oil for frying

1 piece of coal

1 tsp ghee (clarified butter)

Method

Mix the keema with ginger-garlic paste and salt. Boil till it is tender, and all the water evaporates. Add spring onions, green chillies, coriander, mint, cumin powder and lime juice to the mince.

Heat a coal till red-hot, place it in the keema and pour hot ghee over the coal. Close the lid of the vessel and smoke the mince for 5 minutes. Take one strip of the samosa patti in the palm and fold one corner to form a pocket in the shape of a triangle. Fill the pocket with the mixture. Fold the rest of the strip in the same shape and stick the ends with the flour paste. Deep-fry the patties till golden brown and serve with lime wedges and tomato sauce.

Suffut 

Suffut is a tradition in Lamiya’s family and an addition to the healthy food on her table. She warns that this isn’t exactly a children’s favourite, though she and the adults in her family love it. The dish is mainly prepared by Bohris from Surat in Gujarat, where Lamiya’s family originates from. It owes its origin to the Yemeni forefathers of the Dawoodi Bohra community. Traditionally made from lentil pancakes, Lamiya has substituted sada dosa here. You can also make it vegetarian if you wish by removing the mutton or chicken mince. Don't have dosa batter handy? You can also use bread instead of the dosa.

Ingredients

3 sada/plain dosas

1 large tub curd

300g mutton or chicken mince meat (omit if making vegetarian version)

I green chilli chopped (optional)

Half tsp ginger garlic paste

2 cucumbers grated

1 large carrot grated

Half a bunch spring onions, finely chopped

100g French beans, finely diced and boiled

1 small beetroot, boiled and grated (optional)

100g boiled peas (optional)

1 tomato, finely sliced (optional)

1 level tsp mustard powder steeped for 15 minutes in a tsp of warm water and beaten (Lamiya makes her own mustard that you can find here)

Half tsp sugar

Salt to taste

Method

  Rub the ginger garlic paste on washed minced meat and boil with the green chilli.

  Save the soup of boiled minced meat. Beat curd along with mustard paste, sugar, and salt. Lay one dosa on the serving dish, soak the dosa with some soup

  Spread some seasoned curd on the soup-soaked dosa. Cover the dosa with the portion of mince meat and liberally sprinkle chopped spring onion and grated cucumber

  Place the second dosa on top and repeat the same steps

  Put the final dosa on top and soak again with soup and curd

  Cover the whole dosa with all the prepared vegetables and the remaining mince in any preferred pattern

  To add an Indian twist to this dish, spread a layer of spicy green chutney on the dosa before putting curd.

Cover image: Ahmed Sabry/Pixabay

Do you have Iftar dishes that are special to you? If you are fasting, how do you usually break your fast, and what do you have at dawn before it begins? Share your food memories with us here.

  A few days ago, Indian Instagram's current toast (and justifiably so) @thezeenataman wrote a heartfelt post on older women: We see very few older women in the public eye. It's not something I thought about when I was young, but now that I myself am silver-haired, I feel their absence. It's a puzzling phenomenon, simply because older women mould, protect and nurture us in so many ways worthy of celebration. There is just no substitute for the wisdom of experience and years.

Aman wrote about the older women who have anchored her life – from her mother to her friends and stepmother. Her post touched many hearts. People shared about the dadis,  nanis, aunts, nannies, older siblings and friends (even friends' moms) who have touched their lives. 

Aman's post was about the impact of older women in her life, but her observation of their invisibility in the public eye is spot on. Women frequently become invisible as they age, their voices and experiences ignored or dismissed. Despite progress in some areas, older women remain underrepresented in many aspects of life, from media to products to policies.

Until recently, you'd have seen very few beauty or fashion magazine covers with an older woman. But in a small way, there is a change coming, propelled by increasing awareness, and the power of wisdom and economics that many older women hold.

Vogue's April 2023 cover features a striking image of Apo-Whang-Od, a traditional tattoo artist from the Philippines. She's 106 years old. Is it a sign of change? A one-off statement or part of a world rethinking ideals of beauty? We'd like to pin our hopes on the last one.

Women over 50 are consciously or unconsciously resisting invisibility. They own their age, flaunting the changes that come with it while laughing at saggier skin and extra belly fat. Many are working out more than ever and at their fittest best, living their lives exactly as they wish. It does not mean that prejudices have vanished, but it does indicate a long-awaited shift.

Aman is proof of this. She used to be one of Bollywood's sexiest actors. Now she's not afraid to talk about her silver hair or post a photo from a day she wasn't feeling well.

"Being young is wonderful but so is being old. It thrills me to see more and more silver-haired women challenge the status quo," she writes.

  Aman is just as stylish, gorgeous, and sexy walking down London's Bond Street in a trench coat or on the runway as she would've been in the iconic Satyam Shivam Sundaram. She's ageing and showcasing the very best of it, unfiltered and genuine.   

Owning Your Age

Sumita Dutta is in her early 60s, dressed in Western semi-casuals or chic saris. "Very often at a beauty store, the salesperson will not bother to address me unless I request. The idea that an older woman is looking for glam makeup seems alien. When they approach, it's to suggest anti-ageing products that will hide my wrinkles or cover my age. I want to tell them I don't want it covered. I'm happy to flaunt all my wrinkly lines and look good in them!"

Dutta recalls her mother switching to grey and lighter colours when she was in her late 50s. "I come from a Bengali family. Many women of my mother's generation did that, almost a tacit submission to the ageist stereotype that one had to stop dressing up as they aged. So if I showed her bright pink or a shiny blue, she'd say, how can I wear such bright colours at my age? Thankfully there has been a gradual dispelling of such ageist concepts over the years." 

Invisibility can come in many ways. For Dutta's mother, it came with clothing. For some, it can be dating or even thinking of finding someone after a certain age. It is starting a venture against everyone's wishes for some older women. Or learning to dance at 70. 

Why do you need to, is what many of them hear from friends, family and society at large -- why do you need to, at this age?

Of course, many pathbreakers are doing all these and more, but pulling away blankets of conditioning that have stifled some over the years takes strength. 

"There is a clear indication that older women become invisible by their own volition," says Swati Diwakar, a former architect, content creator and Silver Talkies Club member. "And the reason is that they depreciate themselves like an old car. Empty nests, retirement, loss of a spouse, and distancing from children cause a loss of self-worth." Diwakar thinks this small percentage is slowly fading away. "For these women - life has been fashioned around the opinions and feedback of others and not a strong self-identity."

Like Dutta, Diwakar agrees that there is a change already afoot. "Today's 55+ women are taking up the challenge of 'I matter'. It is easier for them because they already have a strong persona built by relevant education, years at a career, travel and awareness of their value. So even though they are past a particular age, the spark shines bright and ignites many a fire! They also do not need a man to stay visible. Girl gangs are a thing now."

Author and conservation enthusiast Katie Bagli could tell you something about sparks shining bright. Or strong girl gangs. She's part of the Save Rani Bagh Botanical Garden Foundation, run by women between 60-80 years old. Rani Bagh is a 160-year-old Botanical Garden in the heart of Mumbai. Bagli and her girl gang are the powerhouses who have ensured its 4000-plus trees haven't faced the construction axe. Their effort has seen the botanical garden get a heritage status. "90 per cent of older women would perhaps not fade away in the eyes of the rest of the world. But there are still some women - about 10 per cent, who tend to become invisible." Bagli is emphatic about the change, "Today's generation of older women have much more access to resources to enable this, which the women of the previous generation did not have."

The Invisibility Pushback

Most older women globally are no longer wearing that invisibility cloak. Actor Michelle Yeoh's post-Oscar-win line – ladies, don't let anyone tell you you're past your prime – is a global catchphrase that many older women had already adopted, Bagli and her Rani Bagh girls included. 

Bagli says most people she has met are empathetic towards senior citizens. "Silver-haired women are definitely respected. Considering these factors, it is natural that 50+ women would want to flaunt their age rather than hide it. Some years back, you would see even women of 60 years with hair dyed jet black. Now growing grey is a fashion. That is because many women do not want to hide their age."

Social media has been an enabler in considerable ways. Both global and Indian social media is abuzz with older women who don't see age as a barrier to doing what they do, saying what they say and dressing how they dress. The popular Instagram influencer Mrs Verma looks as gorgeous in a strappy gown and stilettoes as in a Punjabi salwar kameez. Ravi Bala Sharma's dance moves could beat any Gen Z's energy. Misguided brickbats happen, but they are down the ladder when weighed against the compliments these women get for turning ageist stereotypes upside down. 

"I'm a 57-year-old woman, and it seems when you go into middle age, you lose your license to show up in a bikini!" Former supermodel Paulina Porizkova says, in a 60 Minutes news segment on women ageing in Hollywood, as she explains why she is needs to be seen in one on her Instagram account.

Dutta says seeing women worldwide knock stereotypes and ageism out of the park is incredible. "It's very inspiring to see what women older than me are doing. It motivates me to work out, stay fit, not conform to anyone else's conservative standards, and look forward to growing older with great visibility."

Agents of Change

What's driving this pushback? Most say it is economics combined with a growing understanding of body positivity and changing attitudes. 

Urban women over 50 are now a significant demographic for businesses and marketers. The concept of body positivity has helped shift attitudes, empowering older women to embrace their natural selves. The entertainment industry is keeping pace to an extent, with older women increasingly cast as interesting, complex characters.

"A lot of the independence driving this change has to do with economic resources, the positive climate for women achievers, encouragement from family and friends, watching their earlier generation of female relatives fade into inconsequence, and many more opportunities to make their voices heard," feels Diwakar.

"Culturally, Indian women are meant to be invisible," she writes in response to our question on the invisibility pushback, "Not anymore. Education and opportunities for the girl child, banishing shame from their vocabularies, flaunting their flaws and voicing their often unheard opinions are helping to coalesce the ghostly outline of an older woman into one of substance, the smarts and success." 

Dutta recently bought her 89-year-old mother a sunshine yellow kurta set from an haute brand. "She has been gathering compliments for it and now only wants a wardrobe of colour!"

We do see hope in that colourful wish. In the many older women who are stepping up and reclaiming their space. In more women talking about their older years honestly, like Zeenat Aman. In more App-Whang Ods on Vogue covers.

Cover image courtesy: Rudy and Peter Skitterians/Pixabay

Image used for representation only

As you grew older, did you ever feel invisible or unseen? Or did you see empathy and understanding? How have you countered ageism and made your voice heard? Share your thoughts with us in the comment box below. 

Good Friday and Easter both come with their unique significance and food traditions. Here are two recipes for both occasions.

GOOD FRIDAY

Good Friday is a day that commemorates the crucifixion of Jesus Christ and his death on the Cross at Calvary. It is observed by Christians during the Holy Week as part of the Paschal Triduum preceding his resurrection on the 3rd Day after his death. It is also known as Holy Friday, Great Friday, Great and Holy Friday, and Black Friday. Good Friday is observed as a day of fasting and abstinence by Christians all over the world. Most people usually have just one simple meal at midday on Good Friday. When we were children growing up in Kolar Gold Fields, a simple Rice, Lentil, and Coconut Gruel or Congee was part of our lunch menu on Good Friday. 

RECIPE FOR GOOD FRIDAY RICE AND COCONUT GRUEL (Rice Congee)

Serves 6 

Ingredients:

1 cup Raw Rice

3 tablespoons Moong Dhal / Yellow Lentils 

¼ cup Sugar or Jaggery (optional)

½ cup grated coconut or 1 cup coconut milk

2 tablespoons broken cashew nuts and raisins.

A pinch of salt

2 small pieces of cinnamon

2 cloves

Method:

Wash the rice and soak it for half an hour in a little water.

Dry roast the Moong Dhal/Yellow Lentils lightly in a pan and take it off the gas. 

Boil 3 cups of water and the salt in a suitable pan, and when boiling, add rice and the roasted Moong Dhal.

Cook on low heat till the rice and dhal are soft.

Add the coconut, sugar/ jaggery, and raisins and simmer for 4 to 5 minutes.

The Gruel / Porridge / Congee should be of the consistency of thick soup or Pish Pash.

Serve plain or with coconut chutney or any pickle of your choice. 

(Note: You could omit the sugar or jaggery if desired)

EASTER

The word "Easter" is supposedly named after “Eastre,” the Anglo-Saxon goddess of spring. A festival was held in her honour every year at the vernal equinox as a "salute to spring", marking re-birth. There are many symbols associated with Easter Sunday, such as eggs, rabbits, chickens, lilies, etc. It is believed that Easter Eggs represent the beginning of life, while rabbits and chickens represent the rebirth of the earth. The ‘Easter Bunny’ or the "Easter Hare", became symbols of fertility because hares and rabbits give birth to multiple young ones.

The Easter Cake represents all the good stuff that was sacrificed during the 40 days of Lent. Easter Sunday is the time to rejoice and be happy at the resurrection of Christ, and what better way to rejoice than to indulge in a rich cake with sweet butter icing! There's nothing quite like sharing generous slices of mouth-watering homemade cake with family or friends at Easter. This a simple recipe for a melt-in-mouth Vanilla Sponge Cake with creamy butter icing which would leave one craving for more than a slice.

RECIPE FOR EASTER BUTTER SPONGE CAKE WITH BUTTER FROSTING

(From the book A Collection of Simple Anglo Indian Recipes by Bridget White Kumar)

Ingredients:

300 grams, refined flour or Maida                 

200 grams, powdered sugar

250 grams, butter                                          

4 eggs, beaten well.

½ cup milk                                                    

1 teaspoon baking powder.

1 teaspoon vanilla essence

Method:

Preheat the oven to 200 Degrees C

Sift the flour and baking powder together.

Cream the butter and sugar together.

Add the beaten eggs and vanilla essence and mix well.

Fold in the flour a little at a time.

Add milk if the mixture is too thick.

Pour into a greased and floured cake tin and bake in a moderate oven (180 Degrees C) for 40 to 45 minutes (Or until a wooden toothpick comes out clean).

Cool and then remove from the tin.

FOR THE BUTTER ICING FROSTING

Beat 200 grams of butter and 500 grams of icing sugar together until creamy.

Add 2 teaspoons of vanilla essence and 2 drops of pink food color.

Using a spatula, cover the cake with the butter icing. 

Then with a wet fork, make soft peaks across the surface of the icing.

Decorate as desired and enjoy!

  You can find more about Bridget White Kumar and her cookbooks here: https://bridget-white.com/cookery-books/

You may also like to read: How Bridget Kumar is Bottling The History of Anglo-Indian Cuisine

Cover Image: Deborah Hudson/Pixabay

What is on the table on Good Friday and Easter in your home? Share with us in the comments below.

Getting lost has never been so old world and back in time as in the bylanes of North Kolkata. Memories from a walkaround.

I’m having a Charulata-type* moment, or at least imagining myself to be in one. I look up at the balcony in an old apartment in North Kolkata, its green shuttered windows obscured in the shade of a beautiful awning — a lacy finesse worked into the stone, a fading beauty almost invisible in the tangle of wires crisscrossing overhead and the exposed bricks of other older buildings in disrepair.

I imagine the women who lived there, peeking through those green shutters, at the roadside vendors, or perhaps awaiting that much-anticipated visitor. Did they look up to that beautiful trellis-like awning? Did they have a say in the design? Probably not. And I’m instantly glad to be back in a world where I don’t have to peek at it through window shutters.

When done on foot, with time and at least once with the right guide, North Kolkata is a revelation.

Even now, in all their crumbling glory, you can peek into the beauty these old buildings once were — there are glimpses of glamour in a faded, stained glass window or in the chipped-off mosaic work above an entrance that probably heralded in distinguished guests to all-male addas (adda= informal get together).

The bylanes of North Calcutta can be cramped with kids playing gully cricket, incessantly honking rickshaws and the occasional speeding van with shrieking schoolchildren. It’s dusty and muddy, especially after a spurt of rain. But when it comes to the old houses that inhabit these streets, look up, and there are some wonderful gems to be found, making you realize why Calcutta was once named the City of Palaces. I discovered it as part of a walk with Calcutta Walks many years ago and kept going back for more on my own. It’s a walk that takes in cast iron balconies imported from England by wealthy merchants, shuttered windows and canons from Siraj-Ud-Doula’s time used for sewerage. In one of the bylanes, I once came upon a fifth-generation family of engravers and trophy makers working in a tiny office hemmed in by trees and hovering buildings.

And I came across stories. The red brick mansion above belonged to two rather colourful brothers, nicknamed Chatubabu and Latubabu. This European-style mansion was built in the 1780s by the millionaire Bengali Dey or Deb family with a complete rags-to-riches story. The family has held a traditional Durga Puja since the 18th century. Now it also doubles as an elegant event venue. The brothers, sons of the original merchant who made the millions, were a luxe lot according to Google and local lore. They used to light their cigars by burning 100 rupee notes, says an elderly shopkeeper nearabouts.

It’s easy to get lost in these lanes, leaving the sound of buses, trucks, taxis and cycle rickshaws behind as you delve further in, imagining a lost time of grand mansions with grander owners, a time when Calcutta would’ve been truly magnificent and also perhaps, a bit of a show-off like the wealthy owners of most of these houses were.

It’s also a walk that makes you incredibly sad. What would have been protected by glass cabinets and marked with blue plaques in Western cities lies in utter neglect. Ornate columns are either decaying or have been whitewashed beyond recognition. Conservation attempts of some mansions are largely off track, with ‘experts’ chosen at the contractor’s convenience.

Elaborate Thakurdalans (courtyard where Durga Puja was held) are part of most of the old mansions, though many have fallen apart beyond recognition. You can imagine the women of the family supervising kitchen prep or, perhaps, sitting together, shielded from the afternoon heat, for a gossip session.

In some places, ruins have grown roots, their decrepit beauty now almost Insta-worthy.

And in most places, the time hasn’t moved, even if it has been plastered over by garish new paint or political rally posters.

Hand-pulled rickshaws take a lazy afternoon off; salmon-pink roaks (pillared verandas) inviting siestas, as they’ve probably done for years.

Look around and ask around. There are stories everywhere.

*Charulata is a 1964 Indian drama film directed by Satyajit Ray, based on a novel by Rabindranath Tagore

All photographs: Reshmi Chakraborty/Silver Talkies

Do you love walking around and re-discovering a city you love? Share your experiences or memories of a city with us in the comments below.

Arun Bhatia dips into his vast archive of life experiences to bring us a slice-of-life story from the Queen Elizabeth luxury liner in 1952.

Back in the summer of 1952, on board the 8,3000-ton luxury liner Queen Elizabeth in the mid-Atlantic, two nights after we had left Southampton, I overheard one of the ship’s crew. His tense voice was in a private conversation: “…aye…boy from the cabin class it was that killed it; don’t know the boy’s weapon…”

Another seaman, also in uniform, said: “Aw, just a .22 air rifle…Mother Carey’s chickens fly right along with us, easy targets they are, come to think of it…”

Then came another voice: “Who’d ever think of sniping one of them…I don’t like it; I don’t like it at all.”

There was distinct fear in those voices. They were moans, really, full of dread. The sailors became aware of my presence and stopped talking, and dispersed. But elsewhere on board, the other seamen looked as though they were afraid, too. There was a pall of gloom. I tried to find out more about how a chicken could fly right along our ship, be shot by a .22 air rifle, and why seamen should be tense in the mid-Atlantic because of it. There was a library on board, and the librarian, a kindly bald Englishman, had some answers for me.

It turned out that even on a luxury liner like Queen Elizabeth, seamen were seamen, prone to the same superstitions that have been with them for generations. Mother Carey’s chickens is the name given to the small oceanic birds called petrels, the more commonly known among them being the storm-petrels, which are seen especially during wild weather in the Atlantic. They paddle along the surface of the waves, fly rapidly, and when in pursuit of food, they suspend themselves by extending their wings and appear to run on the surface of the water.

The Apostle Peter walked on water, and after him, they were called petrels (“little Peters”). “Mother Carey” is the Anglicized Latin Mater Cara (“Dear Mother,” an appellation of the Virgin Mary.) Seamen consider the very appearance of these birds to presage a storm, hence the name “storm petrels.”

It is thought particularly unlucky to kill one of them.

After finding out that much, I went on deck, hoping to see some. The nippy ocean wind tingled my cheeks, the occasional sea spray added to the cold on deck, and I hugged my overcoat tightly around me. It was a marvellous sight, indeed, when I spotted some petrels: They are pretty little birds with white rumps and plover-like legs. They were skimming the surface of the water, easily keeping up with our ship’s speed, and they never seemed to tire. Contrary to superstition, there was no storm.

But as I walked on deck, I spotted a seasick teenage boy looking green with nausea, heaving, often bending double, retching by the side of the ship.

He was clutching a .22 rifle in his unsteady hand.

Cover image: Wikimedia Commons

Over the years, Arun Bhatia has encountered petrels and also some legends. Here's a short but memorable encounter with JRD Tata.

Calling our Members to Write for Us!

Silver Talkies Members get a unique chance to get published with us. We welcome travelogues, family recipes, memoirs, oral history accounts, short stories, poems, humour and personal essays, tips on living well and if you are a qualified subject matter expert, then your thoughts on your chosen topics as well. Email us at connect@silvertalkies.com to know more!

Maslenitsa is a Russian festival similar to Holi, says Kala Sunder in this festive dispatch from Moscow.

Maslenitsa is an Eastern Slavic festival to bid goodbye to the long, harsh winter and welcome life-giving spring. The name is derived from the Russian 'maslo', which means butter (originally 'anything that can be spread') and symbolises richness and plenty. Like most festivals worldwide, its origins lie in nature and agricultural methods. In the ancient Slavic tradition, Maslenitsa was celebrated at the end of February, and the New Year began in March. According to some experts, Maslenitsa was observed in late March, around the spring equinox. Yet, this earthy and exuberant celebration of rebirth collided with Lent's austerity and spiritual meaning and was relocated to the week before the Lenten fast (Great Fast). It became a week of eating, fun and partying, the last fling before the severe Great Fast.

During Soviet times, the policy of atheism highlighted the festival's earlier secular aspects. As a student in the 1970s, I learnt of Maslenitsa as part of the course on Russian folklore. There were hardly any public celebrations then, but in many homes, the traditional Maslenitsa bliny (pancakes) were made, and I got to enjoy them. Maslenitsa is now a mix of the ethnic, the Orthodox Christian faith and the God of Commerce. It is not a public holiday, but week-long events are in parks and city squares. 

The parallels between Maslenitsa and our Holi are striking – a spring festival with a religious veneer, a boisterous celebration of colour with family, friends and neighbours, a day when inhibitions are relaxed, culminating in the burning of an effigy as a symbol of the beginning of a new cycle of life.  

The traditional observance of Maslenitsa brought the whole community together in laughter and play before the hard work of tilling and sowing began in the spring. Each day had its significance. On the first day, an effigy of Maslenitsa, or 'Lady Butter', was fashioned out of a pole, straw and leftover pieces of cloth, paraded around the village and then installed in an open space to preside over the events. Bliny were made in large quantities throughout the week. The first bliny was offered to the departed souls and the poor. Then they were carried across to the neighbours and served to guests. 

The Bliny Making

In popular belief, the golden round bliny symbolises the sun and invokes its warmth. Bliny can be made of different flours (wheat, buckwheat, oat), with yeast or without, baked or spread on a griddle like a dosa. They are served with various fillings and accompaniments – from the traditional butter, cottage cheese, sour cream, honey or preserves, meat and mushroom to the more recent caviar, condensed milk and chocolate. Spinach and beetroot bliny are the current healthy options. Some people abstain from meat and poultry during Maslenitsa in preparation for the Great Fast, but dairy is still allowed.

In this statistics-crazy country, it is estimated that 87% of the population will eat bliny this year, and 75% will make them at home.

-

How The Festival Unfolds

Maslenitsa entertainments included making a mound of snow and sledging down its sides, troika (drawn by three horses) rides, building an ice fort and staging mock battles, fist fights, dressing up in masks and funny costumes, jumping over bonfires, singing and dancing. European travellers to Russia have left accounts of these boisterous games, which often ended in accidents and sometimes in tragedy. The young were given greater freedom to meet during these events; it was the time for courtship and matchmaking. Marriages arranged at this time would usually be celebrated later when there was more produce and funds. This also provided time for a re-think. Couples who had married any time after the previous Maslenitsa was considered newlyweds and expected to visit their relatives at this time. That tradition survives to this day, though in a different form - as a tour of the city's landmarks with a photographer. 

A Family Affair

Sons-in-law were special guests on the third day of Maslenitsa. But on the fifth day, it was the turn of the son-in-law to invite the mother-in-law and demonstrate to her - and to the friends, she brought along - his bliny-making skills. Now that is a custom we in India should emulate. The next day was sister-in-law's day when the husband's sisters and other relatives were invited to bliny and given small presents. 

While strengthening family ties, Maslenitsa provided one day as a safety valve. On this day, you were allowed to make fun of anyone and let off steam against those in power – elders, the local policeman, landlord, merchant, even the Governor himself. 

On the final day, the effigy of Maslenitsa is burnt, a symbolic goodbye to winter. The last bliny are thrown into the fire and sometimes, old and unwanted things too. Finally, the ash is scattered over the fields to ensure regeneration and a good harvest. 

My Maslenitsa Experience

This year, Maslenitsa was observed from February 20 to 26. Our neighbourhood square was decorated with sun motifs, although some little Christmas trees were still in place. Rocking horses and a merry-go-round were set up for the younger children. A smithy complete with a small furnace was installed in the open where older children and adults could try to fashion hot metal rods into various shapes. Experienced metalworkers were there to guide, and yes, fire extinguishers were at hand. Loud hammering noises from another corner became a popular spot to stamp coins on an anvil with a heavy hammer. All this was free. Workshops in various traditional crafts like painting on wood, Maslenitsa doll-making and straw broom-making were happening in the stalls around the square. These required prior registration and a small fee. Judging by the lines, there were enough takers. A café was doing brisk business in bliny pastries, hot tea and coffee, although the prices were rather steep. Small entrepreneurs sold artisanal cheeses, honey, preserves, herb teas, salted fish and cold meats. Their goods were not cheap but had a dedicated clientele, much like in India's organic and health food stores. There was no effigy because the square was too small and unsafe for a bonfire. "Go to the Centre," the organiser suggested. "There you'll find a big Maslenitsa effigy. There will be a concert in the evening, fireworks, street entertainers, and lots of fun." I suspected there would be booming music and a loud MC too. Instead, we took a train to a park on the outskirts with a towering 'Lady Butter'. She looked so attractive that I felt sorry she would be set aflame. 

Find out more:

Maslenitsa is reflected in many paintings by Russian masters: https://russianlife.com/the-russia-file/painting-maslenitsa/. 

Cover image courtesy: Wikimedia Commons.

Have you found festivals in other countries with concepts or customs similar to Indian festivals? Isn't it always a joy to find similarities amidst our differences? Share your thoughts or experience with us in the comment box below.

Silver Talkies Club member Rani Swamy has done almost 20 modelling assignments. She shares her experience.

I was a complete novice when I entered this exciting industry. My friend Kalpana Rao, a leading model and actor, referred and encouraged me. Kalpana and I met at a Silver Talkies event and hit it off, and we are good friends. I was so amused when she suggested I try my hand at modelling. It never struck me that I could even try! But then, life is full of opportunities, and I thought to myself, why not!

Kalpana shared some contacts in the modelling industry. I was apprehensive about my chances, but she encouraged me to give it a try. 

I did not know how to proceed at first. I just contacted a few people who asked me to send my pictures. I was unsure what pictures to send, so I sent them whatever was available on my mobile phone. They seem to have worked! One fine day I was called by a casting agent, and they told me that they had selected me to play a granny's role for Britannia Good Day biscuits - a print ad. 

It was thrilling and also intimidating. This was my first modelling assignment, and I was very nervous. I was asked to send a few pictures of the saris I possessed, and they selected 3-4 saris for me to wear. But I needn't have been nervous. At the shoot, everyone was relaxed and friendly. The little girl playing my granddaughter had already done many ads; I was in awe of her! She was confident and emoted her role with so much ease! In other words, an experience to remember. 

My Journey Onwards

If you wish to be a model, the details of many casting agents are available on Facebook and Instagram. You can contact them and let them know of your interest in modelling.

Casting agents ask you to send your pictures with details like age, height, languages spoken, place of stay, and so on; most of them ask you to send an introduction video where you can give all the information. Sometimes the casting agents provide tips on how they want the intro video. Once agents have your credentials and if you are good at what you do, casting agencies will contact you when there are suitable assignments. Many assignments also happen through word of mouth. Sometimes casting agents require you to make a professional portfolio, though I still need to do it. Many of them will create the portfolio for you for a price.

Once you have an assignment, you must be prepared to spend the whole day at the shoot. If the shoot is supposed to end at 6 pm, it may even go late into the night. Of course, as a professional, you are expected to cooperate without complaints. But the atmosphere is amiable and respectful, especially for older adults. Food is arranged, and some production houses arrange transport or pay Uber charges.

Modelling is a hobby for me, and I don't push myself, though I have given my hundred per cent every time I have worked in an ad. I do not contact anyone for assignments. If something comes up and I like it, I take it on. But if you wish to spread the word about yourself, there are avenues. For example, you can make reels and post them on Instagram or shoot small videos and post them on Facebook. I have not done it, but if any of my ads are published, I post them on FB tagging the agent who got me the ad.

When you start, the remuneration for print ads is about Rs 4,000-5,000 a day, depending on the agency. It goes up gradually. Digital ads could pay more, depending on the client and agency. Cities like Mumbai are supposed to pay better.

I have done about 20 ads now (including a small role in a Tamil movie), and each shoot has been an enriching experience. Seeing yourself on a massive billboard or an ad film is also a thrill.

Modelling is a hobby that came to me by chance, and though I haven't pushed for more work, it has been an enjoyable journey.

All images courtesy: The Author

Calling our Members to Write for Us!

Silver Talkies Members get a unique chance to get published with us. We welcome travelogues, family recipes, memoirs, oral history accounts, short stories, poems, humour and personal essays, tips on living well and if you are a qualified subject matter expert, then your thoughts on your chosen topics as well. Email us at connect@silvertalkies.com to know more!

Here's another feature on becoming a senior model from our archives.

Legends say you get a chance to live longer with the black eggs of Hakone Hell Valley, Japan. Ramana Sista checked it out for himself.

My friend asked me, “If white hens lay white eggs, do black hens lay black eggs? I said, “No, they don’t, but Japan is the only place in the world where you get “Black Eggs” laid by white hens.”

My wife and I visited this place with our son in December 2019.

Located in Hakone, Kanagawa Prefecture, Owakudani translates to "the Great Boiling Valley,” though some locals lovingly refer to it as Jigokudani, meaning "Hell Valley.” Owakudani is a volcanic basin created some 3,000-odd years ago after the eruption of Mount Hakone. The resulting crater and subsequent landslides opened a series of hot springs and sulphur vents. Mount Hakone is an active volcano. Don’t mistake the sulphuric fumes in photographs for clouds!

The caldera’s gurgling waters were being used to boil dozens of eggs. "Black Eggs” are regular chicken eggs boiled in Owakudani!s natural hot springs. The sulphur in the water turns the eggshells as black as charcoal.

To witness the eggs being boiled in the hot springs, we took a short walk up the mountain from the Owakudani ropeway station. The trek takes about 15 minutes, or roughly one-fifth of the time it takes to cook the eggs. Reportedly, the eggs are boiled for an hour in the 80-degree hot springs (roughly 175 degrees Fahrenheit), and then steamed for an additional 15 minutes. The eggs themselves taste like regular boiled eggs.

Hakone Ropeway to Hell through the Valley of the Shadow of Egg

According to local lore, eating one egg will add seven years to your life. You can only buy the black eggs in packs of five for the affordable price of ¥500 (Rs 330/-). This might help explain why Japanese people live longer than everyone else. For the same price as a bottle of beer, you can add 35 extra years of life. I ate one egg on 1st December 2019 and need to see if it will keep me fit and kicking until 1st December 2026,  allowing a grace period of 30 days till my 85th birthday. Balance 28 years were added to my son’s longevity!  The eggs are strict “No, No” to my wife. 

The valley has to be experienced firsthand to be appreciated. You can get there by car, but taking the Hakone Ropeway is a much more picturesque alternative. The aerial lift offers amazing views of Mount Fuji and the steaming sulphur vents below, making it look like you're flying over hell. Besides the life-prolonging eggs, travelling to Owakudani is a treat. 

Images courtesy: Ramana Sista

Cover image courtesy: Suicasmo, CC BY-SA 4.0 via Wikimedia Commons.

Calling our Members to Write for Us!

Silver Talkies Members get a unique chance to get published with us. We welcome travelogues, family recipes, memoirs, oral history accounts, short stories, poems, humour and personal essays, tips on living well, and if you are a qualified subject matter expert, then your thoughts on your chosen topics as well. Please email us at connect@silvertalkies.com to know more!

Kala Sunder studied in Russia in the 70s during the Soviet era. Back there now, after several years, she shares her interest in Old Russian and looking for it in the Christmas service of the Russian Orthodox Church.

When you know a language's history, you better understand its present structure and relationship to other languages of the same family. For example, church Slavonic and Old Russian (also known as Old East Slavic) are the precursors to contemporary Russian, and I enjoyed studying these languages. However, they went out of common use long ago. They were taught by professors who deeply knew these so-called dead languages and valued their historical significance and aesthetics. Outside of academia, these languages are of interest to the Russian Orthodox Church, which uses them in the liturgy.

But in the 1970s, when I studied, there were few functioning churches, and I never heard Church Slavonic or Old Russian in practice. Since 1990 the state has handed churches back to the clergy, old churches have been restored, and new churches have been built. Services are conducted regularly. I wanted to listen to a service but was reluctant to go alone, and no one I know is a church-goer. Finally, a friend suggested we go to the Christmas service because it would be more beautiful (most Russians go to church because it is "beautiful") and longer, which meant there would be more to listen to.

Orthodox Christmas is observed on January 6 (according to the older Julian calendar). It was -20ºC, the coldest evening of the winter so far. This is the period of the 'Epiphany frosts'.

We set out at 6 pm to the Church of the Assumption at Putinki, a 10-minute walk from where we live. It is a beautiful little church with several green and gold onion domes. No, it has nothing to do with Putin. The area's name is Putinki, from the Russian word 'put' for path or road, as in sputnik or co-traveller. The main road of this area used to lead from the Kremlin to towns in the west and north, hence the name Putinki.

There was little activity in the lane leading to the church, and the notice near the entrance said the Christmas service would start at midnight. We had a Plan B – the Vysoko-Petrovsky Monastery, a further 15-minute walk. According to their website, the service was to begin at 6 pm and go on through the night. But before leaving, I wanted to look at the nativity crib and Christmas tree that must be somewhere in the small church compound. We saw two men in padded work clothes fiddling with wires, one perched atop a short ladder. They hailed us warmly and urged us to step into the church and warm ourselves while they set things up. It was already dark, and we had not noticed that they were working on the crib and the tree. It seemed churlish to walk away, so we entered the church. It had been restored recently. Every inch of the walls and ceiling was painted with bright biblical scenes, with blue predominating. It could have been distemper from Bangalore.

Flowers were being arranged (lilies at the height of winter!), the floor was being swabbed, everything that glittered was being rubbed, and the glass covering on icons was being wiped to remove marks left by the faithful foreheads and lips kissing the icon. We bought a couple of candles and lit them before the icon of the Mother of God. Pray for peace, we heard a woman tell her little daughter. When we stepped out, we caught sight of the two men who had been "setting things up". In the porch light, we realised that one was the priest, the other probably a parishioner. "Come back later," they called out, "we're almost done." It was all very friendly and informal.

The Vysoko-Petrovsky Monastery is at a slight elevation, and we maintained our brisk pace up the incline to stay warm. The cold still got to the cheeks and the tip of the nose. We had to stop at two pedestrian crossings along the way. My friend wiped her eyes, which water when it is this cold, and I wiped my nose.

One of the outlying buildings of the monastery complex used to house the Literature Museum, which we often visited during our student days. Some of our classmates worked there later. The monastery was closed after the Revolution, but the churches remained open. A small monastery functioned here in secret from 1923 until the authorities discovered it in 1929. All the churches were then shut down. The buildings turned into apartments, mechanical repair shops, and later into a kindergarten, sports hall, library, and auditorium. In the 1970s, it was barely recognisable as a former monastery. Then, in 1992, the territory returned to the Russian Orthodox Church. It is now a functioning monastery with several churches.

The Christmas service was already on in the Church of Saint Sergiy Radonezhsky, one of the most revered saints of the Russian Orthodox Church. It was not audible outside because of the two heavy wooden doors that also kept out the cold. There was the familiar smell of incense as we entered. Unlike in the little church, the clergy were in ceremonial robes of white embroidered with silver thread in intricate patterns. Some of the monks were in plain black robes. One of them was reading a prayer from a book. That is what I had come to hear.

I had to concentrate on making out the words and wished he would slow down. Gradually, I began to recognise a few words here and there in the stream. Then, just as it was all becoming clearer, the reading stopped, everyone crossed themselves, and the choir broke into song. I couldn't follow anything in that pronunciation, but the music was joyous and uplifting. It was a male choir, and the voices were strong and controlled.

The reading resumed, the altar doors opened, and a senior clergyman emerged in even finer clothes, holding a staff with a cross. He walked majestically to a small raised platform in the middle of the church. There was more waving of the incense holder; an icon was brought out from the altar and held before the senior clergyman. He began to recite from memory. In his inflection, I could catch the vowel sounds slightly different from the modern Russian pronunciation. The prayer ended with a repetition of the last line three times – a familiar routine in our prayers too. Then it was time for communion. The monks lined up before the priest, and some of the congregation formed another line. But most of the people watching, like us, lit a candle and slowly left the church. This process would be repeated several times during the night, another friend explained later.

There are no pews in Eastern Orthodox churches. People walk in, stand silently for as long as they like, light candles to their favourite saint and leave. The official view is that it is disrespectful to sit during service. (I find it rude to enter in footwear, but in a cold climate going barefoot would be a form of penance.) Some Russians offer a more mundane explanation for the lack of seating. There were never enough churches relative to the population, so there was only standing room.

The service cannot fail to move. It is majestic, calculated to appeal to all the senses and transport one to a different plane. I, however, remained rooted in the language of the texts.

We did stop on our way back at the little Putinki Church to admire the crib and tree. The service here still needed to begin. But we had worked up an appetite, and dinner was waiting at home.

As for the sound of Church Slavonic and Old Russian, I now listen to recordings after experiencing the real thing. There I can slow down the speed. 

Lead image: Church of the Assumption at Putinki. Courtesy: Wikimedia Commons.

Did you enjoy reading about looking for an old language while braving the cold and taking in a Russian Orthodox Christmas? Share your unusual experiences with us in the comments below or email us on editor@silvertalkies.com.

Excerpted from Rethink Ageing: Lessons In Ageing From the Bolder and Older Generation, Reshmi Chakraborty and Nidhi Chawla, Penguin.

Available in bookstores across India and online

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2.     Actor Boman Irani and director Sooraj Barjatya talk about showcasing active seniors on screen

3.     Did you know you could plan a yearly gardening calendar? Now you do!

4.     How The Internet Helped This 90-Year-Old Travel To Her Birthplace In Pakistan

5.     Key Things About Dementia You Need To Know

Did you enjoy reading the Silver Talkies Digital Magazine this year? What would you like to know more about? Share your thoughts with us in the comments below.

Poems by Silver Talkies Club Member Sutapa Dasgupta on creative pursuits and life journeys.

The Journey

I'll talk about an unusual trek,

One that's long and hard.

It may not take you places but

The journey will be your reward.

An expedition that's one of its kind

Your life will change forever

Sometimes it seems endless,

Sometimes nearer than near.

It's a voyage of discovery

Full of secrets and mystery,

But you'll never ever find it

In any traveller's directory.

All it needs is faith and love

So put your fears away

For if you falter and doubt

You are sure to lose your way.

Be aware of who you are and

Ask what should be life's goal.

It is the journey within

that will illuminate your soul.

Close your eyes, take a deep breath,

Let it all begin.

Embark on a quest for truth

That ensures a life serene.

If a thought comes to your mind,

Follow it like a stream.

Meandering gently towards

The knowledge supreme.

The more you embrace the thought

The farther it will flow,

Be ready to glide with it

But leave behind your ego.

Obstacles will hinder your way

Distractions will clutter your mind.

But if you deviate from the trail

The truth will be harder to find.

Your eyes may be closed but your

Vision is clear and bright

It shows a straight and narrow path

That leads to a shining light.

Somewhere along the way

Your thoughts begin to fade

You lose your sense of time and place

Pure consciousness and bliss pervade.

A voyage of self exploration

Unearths a trove of treasures,

The sublime joy of finding oneself

Transcends all other pleasures.

Once More

There was a time I loved to write

But then my ideas ran dry.

Now I think why not pick up a pen

And once more give it a try.

I wrote about ordinary things

Of matters big and small,

Things that I cared deeply about

but others didn't see at all.

I learnt to bottle up my thoughts

And hid them deep in my core-

So much so one day it happened

I couldn't find them any more.

Change of scene, change of place

I started to write again.

This time I wrote about great leaders

And where they lived and when.

Why they did, what they did-

How they changed the world-

For young people to follow their lead,

Blazing dreams unfurled.

My own thoughts, they stayed within,

Thirsting to come outside-

Searching for a time and place

To burst forth like a tide.

That day is today, the time is now,

I've picked up a pen once more-

I'll surely find my long-lost thoughts

And give them wings to soar.

Images courtesy Pixabay

Calling our Members to Write for Us!

Silver Talkies Members get a unique chance to get published with us. We welcome travelogues, family recipes, memoirs, oral history accounts, short stories, poems, humour and personal essays, tips on living well, and if you are a qualified subject matter expert, then your thoughts on your chosen topics as well. Email us at connect@silvertalkies.com to know more!

Going grey and getting the silver look is not an easy decision for all. But whichever way you lean when the greys start showing, what’s important is being comfortable in your skin.

And the silver in her hair shines in the cold November air…

- Pink Floyd-The Gunner's Dream

Everyone should feel confident in their choices, including embracing natural colour or texture. Actor Jennifer Aniston, 53, the global icon for envy-worthy hair, told Vogue in a recent interview when the conversation turned to going grey.

Confidence in herself and the tedium of colouring prompted Pune's Dola Sen, 58, to stop colouring her hair over a decade ago. "I started greying early in my 40s. I loved colour and salon experiments, so I continued colouring my hair. It has never been about covering up my hair," she says. "My decision to stop colouring was based on convenience. We moved to a remote village for some years, and salon visits became infrequent. I realised I liked the slight white and black look and decided to stick to it."

You may have come across media articles like grey is the new black with terms like 'greying and gorgeous' thrown in. While more women globally are embracing their greys and going natural, it isn't always an easy transition. "There was a point during my grey transition when I almost gave up because my hair looked frizzy and patchy. If I had been in Pune instead of the village I was in, I'd have caved in and rushed to my hairdressers," Sen laughs.

Most people begin to get grey hair in their 30s and 40s. The hair follicles' pigment cells gradually die and cease to produce melanin, making grey hair a natural part of ageing. 

Unfortunately, grey hair is also connected to ageism. 

"I dyed my hair well into my 60s," says Sudipta Ghosh, 73, from Pune. "In my time, there was a lot of peer pressure about this. A bit of grey, and my friends or people who saw me would point out, you are looking old. My young kids would say ma, don't start looking like dadi!" Ghosh is saying this in the context of her daughter-in-law Bidisha's decision to go grey at 50. "There is much less judgement, and women are embracing their greys nowadays boldly. E are more inclusive now,” she adds. 

Growing older can also mean reaching a life stage where you feel free of judgements and inhibition, despite our society being quick enough to label people by appearance. 

Nyla Masood, 61, is a Mumbai-based costume designer and actor who also sees a lot of humour in going grey. She often gets mistaken for being much older than her years, given societal perceptions but takes it with a good dose of laughter. Masud feels her greys have increased her confidence. She wears it short and asymmetric, and the unusual style even got her a role in the Netflix hit Liftboy at 58. "Grey hair is now part of my look," she chuckles. 

While women were and are still judged for going grey, with many looked upon as older or past their prime, men and their greys are looked at differently when their hair grows silver. "Sexy salt and pepper" and "silver fox" are some of the terms used to describe grey-haired men.

Think Richard Gere, Milind Soman and George Clooney, and you'll know what we mean. The stunning Nafisa Ali has hugged her greys close for the longest time, and actor Ratna Pathak Shah looks lovely in them. But you rarely hear complimentary terms applied to women who have gone grey. Only recently can grey-haired women be spotted in advertisements and popular culture without an allusion to their age, though the numbers remain small there.

No wonder then that for many women, the decision to go grey isn't easy. 

British actor Dame Helen Mirren hit the nail when she told Marie Claire, "I think women were just so terrified of having white or grey hair because it immediately put them into a different category." Make greys a positive thing as opposed to a negative thing, she asserted.

Thankfully, we may be on that silver-streaked positive road.

Going grey is in vogue now, and hashtags like #silvergirls and #ditchthedye are frequently trending on Instagram. With older (and sometimes, even younger) female influencers flaunting their grey hair on Instagram, the misconception that grey hair negatively denotes ageing has been debunked. The idea is about welcoming and celebrating your age, whichever way you choose. As Aniston said in her interview: "If you want to go grey, go for it! If you want to keep colouring your hair, that’s great too. Hair is a creative way to express yourself, and I love that your mood and energy can change with the change of a hairstyle, cut or colour. Embrace whatever is going to make you happy."

How to care for your greys according to hairdressers:

Use a colour-safe conditioner and a hydrating shampoo. Ask your hairdresser for suggestions

Avoid extra heat exposure and chemicals 

Avoid too many hair products. These can make your hair look limp.

Grey hair tends to be frizzy so invest in a good alcohol free anti frizz spray.

If you are just going grey but need to break into it gently, check with your hairdresser for babylights that merge lighter colours with your greys

If you colour your hair yourself, go in for lighter hues, as grey shades can stand out more as they reappear if your dye is very dark.

Here are 10 famous people who rock their grey hair!

What is your take on this "grey matter?" Share your thoughts with us below.

A unique fruit shop in Tokyo and its museum-worthy display is a curiosity worth a visit when in Japan.

During my second day in Tokyo, on a visit in December 2019, I met the 45-year-old Rajendra Prasad Challisse in his store Maya Bazar, the biggest Indian grocery store in Tokyo, two blocks across the road from our apartment. Since then, it became my adda for hobnobbing. Maya Bazar carried the wholesale and retail inventory of Indian spices, rice, flours, pickles, savories, sweets, and everything else an Indian needed in the kitchen. His customers include retailers, restaurants, and many Japanese residents from all over Japan. So that time, when you find it challenging to get even vegetable sandwiches, it was like an oasis in the desert for me. 

Rajendra Prasad hails from Nepal. The title ‘Challisse’ was conferred on their ancestors by virtue of their ability to learn 40 slokas of Vedas in one day. He learned Japanese and got into tourism. Then cupid struck, and he married a Japanese woman visiting Nepal and migrated to Japan some 20 years ago.

In a casual conversation, I asked him why fruits are expensive in Japan.

“Which fruit?” he asked.

“Apples cost Rs.300 each,” I said.

He smiled and said: “If you think Rs.300 for an apple is expensive, you must visit the Simbekiya fruit parlor in Tokyo. It will make you rethink your perception of expensive fruit.”

My curiosity was stirred, and my interest was piqued. So, on the 15th of December morning, after visiting the Sensoji Temple (Tokyo’s largest, most colorful, and famous temple) and Tokyo SkyTree (the second-highest tower in the world), we headed for the 185-year-old Simbekiya Fruit Parlor in downtown Tokyo.

We were a little early and had to wait for the shop to open. A queue of people had already started to form. Once the store opened, we walked in and were dazzled by the entire in-store experience. An exquisite store that looked more like a high-end, fine jewelry outlet, with sharply dressed, sophisticated staff eager to educate and serve visitors on their unique offerings. Their offerings were precious alright, ‘jaw-droppingly’ precious:

 There are times when you are not quite sure whether you are shopping for fruit or jewelry.

They tell me that a Sheikh from the Middle East comes in his private jet every month and takes home whatever fruit is available in that season.

Japanese use it as a dessert, not a snack, maybe because it is sweeter than sweet. Founded 182 years ago, Sembikiyas specialize in deluxe gift boxes and baskets, which account for 98 percent of its sales. Fruit destined for gift-giving at this level must be perfectly ripe, delicious, and flawless in appearance. If you are interested in knowing the scientific methods, skills, and labor that go into cultivating this delicious speciality fruit, may visit the Sembikiya website: www.sembikiya.co.jp/lang/en

Sembikiya fruit was beyond our means. We were happy with the apples at Rs.300 each available in the shop across the road, which almost looks similar. If I walked down the street some 200 meters to another vegetable vendor, I could get it for Rs.200 each without compromising the quality and taste. On the brighter side, each apple in Japan weighed half a kg because of the high water concentration, as all other fruits do - juice drips at every bite.

Is there a unique travel experience you would like to share with us? Share in the comments below or email us on connect@silvertalkies.com

All images courtesy: Ramana Sista 

Silver Talkies Members get a unique chance to get published with us. We welcome travelogues, family recipes, memoirs, oral history accounts, short stories, poems, humor and personal essays, tips on living well and if you are a qualified subject matter expert then your thoughts on your chosen topics as well. Email us at connect@silvertalkies.com to know more!

October 1 was celebrated as the International Day of Older Persons. As we celebrate age and its many dimensions this month, watch this space as we bring you stories of courage, care, making a difference, and resilience.

Caregivers often lose quality time with the person they care for, burdened under their daily tasks. Rose Gordon on how to ensure the chores don't wipe away your shared memories and precious time together.

Laura is 86 years old. She has just been admitted to hospice services. In my spiritual care and grief counselor role, I am meeting her for the first time today to see how the hospice can best support her and her family. We are seated on the small porch of her room, attached to the home of her daughter Gloria and Gloria's 4-year-old son, George. The porch faces an apple tree laden with ripening apples. Sunlight streams through the green leaves and splashes onto part of the porch. Gloria has brushed Laura's shoulder-length silver hair and tied it back with a blue ribbon.

I comment on how the blue ribbon matches her lovely blue floral shirt. "Blue is one of my favorite colors", Laura remarks in her slow speech that will become more halting as her Parkinson's disease advances. After exchanging pleasantries, I ask Laura what brings her joy. She replies, "I like the sunshine, and my grandson is a very funny boy. I wouldn't even be here if it weren't for my daughter and her support."

We talk together for about 45 minutes. It starts lightly, and then she tells me about her childhood in Europe during the end of WWll - the hunger, her parent's disappearance, and how she cared for her two small siblings. "I was just seven years old myself," she says. When the sun gets too hot for her, we move into her simple room. Parkinson's makes her movements careful, slow, and stiff. I listen, nod my head and maintain eye contact, so she knows I am listening. Then, when she seems tired, I stand to leave. She stands, too, maintaining the dignity of her role as hostess. "May I give you a hug?" I ask. "Oh yes, yes. I'd like that", she replies.

Our next visit is much shorter. I've heard that Laura tires out faster. At first, the sun is too hot, then the shade is too cold. I drape her shawl over her shoulders, but we decide to move inside. She drops into her chair. "My body tells me when to move, so I must," she declares as she stands up. Her hand is trembling, and she seems unsure what to do next. I know it's time to leave, and I stand up to move toward the door.

"Thanks for letting me visit today. I can see you are tired. I hope the rest of your day goes easily," I say. "I could use a hug", she says, still standing in the middle of the room. I am pleasantly surprised! She is initiating this contact.

"I'm delighted to hug you," I reply, and we embrace lightly.

Later in the afternoon, I call her daughter. "You're doing a great job caring for your Mom," I tell her, "she is so grateful for that. So happy to be with you. And she mentioned loneliness to me today and asked me to hug her before I left. I know you may not be a huggie family, but that request touched me."

"Oh dear, we have never been a hugging family", Gloria says. "I am just so tired and busy with the house and George and taking care of things, and I have health issues too, and I sometimes don't take the time to just be with her."

“I understand. This is a very busy time in your life. There is no criticism in this, Gloria.” I reply.  “Loneliness is a very common experience for elders. Sometimes all it takes to turn that feeling around, for both of you, is to find even a few minutes a day to be a daughter again... Sitting on the porch chatting and watching the grass grow!”

A March 3, 2020 study published in the Journal of American Geriatrics Society concluded that “lonely older people may be burdened by more symptoms and be exposed to more intense end-of-life care compared to non-lonely people. Interventions to mitigate loneliness during the vulnerable end of life period are necessary.”  

Personally, I’ve noticed over the years of my work that caregivers often can get lost in a role that is focused on changing sheets on the bed, counting out medications, reminding our mother, father, husband, or wife to eat or drink more water, take a shower, things like that. Our relationship as daughter, wife, or husband can slip away as we focus on filling the pillboxes, doing another load of laundry, and preparing a meal that is barely eaten. All those tasks are important, and our relationship is also more than that. It's about sharing memories, expressing our love for each other, the dreams and hopes, up and downs we’ve shared, and the fun times we’ve had together.  Without maintaining that relationship, elders often feel lonely or miss being hugged or touched.  

Beneath all the tasks that need to be done, running like a quiet but powerful river, is the awareness elders and caregivers each have about the changes they’re enduring- whether from age or disease - and the mostly unspoken grief about what they have lost and the final loss that is approaching.  "This is a precious time, Gloria. It can be frustrating and challenging - heartbreaking, exhausting, and often overwhelming. And it's also a time when we are closing the circle of our relationship with this loved one. May I share some ideas with you that might comfort your mom and fill the gap? "

What practical things did I share with Gloria that might be useful for you during this precious time with your ill or ageing parent or spouse?

• Set aside a specific time each day to be with your loved one in a "non-caregiver" way. It could be over tea or coffee in the morning, afternoon, or evening. A time you can count on for uninterrupted, friendly, warm times together. Even 10 minutes can make a huge difference when it's labeled as your time together.

• Use that time to share a favorite treat or a memory or look at photos together. Laugh over a TV show. Read the newspaper or part of a book aloud. Go through decorations or menu plans for a holiday together.

• Let them know what you learned from them… "I will also remember how you…." or "You taught me to….and it's come so handy."

•    Touch matters. Safe, respectful, gentle touch. Touch that is not related to helping them dress or walk to the bathroom! Be sure to tell those with any level of dementia what you want to do, "May I hug you, hold your hand, stroke or brush your hair?" Don'tpush a child to give physical touch! Show them and then see if they also want to give a hug to grandma or grandpa.  

• Add comfort measures. "May I put some of this lotion you love on your hands?" or "would you like me to spray your favourite fragrance in the room?" Play their favourite music at a volume they agree to. Put fresh flowers where they can see them, or hang a bird feeder. Plant a favourite herb they can water or watch grow.

• Let their beloved pet visit if they have one! Let them brush the pet if they can and laugh at the antics.

• Illness, ageing, lost capacity, and the approaching end of life can shrink our world. It can confine us to words, thoughts, and tasks that make life seem small and colorless. Laughter is such good medicine. Laughter, shared memories, appreciation, and gratitude expand the room, our hearts, and minds.

Find the ways that work best for you and your loved ones. Let laughter and easy time together bring life to the situation; let it lighten the load.

Images courtesy: Rose Gordon and Pixabay

Liked this story? Would you like to share your own experiences with caregiving in the comments below?

For more on caregiving: Is caregiving a woman's job?

Prepping up to be a caregiver

October 1 is the International Day of Older Persons. As we celebrate age and living it without any limitations, we must also be aware of harsh realities like abuse and neglect. Here is one such story. Watch this space as we also bring you stories of courage, care, and resilience throughout the month.

82 percent of India’s older people are often at the receiving end of physical and verbal abuse and, worse still, neglect, often from their own family, said a HelpAge India report this year. Neglect can often be much overlooked, yet is most common. Our reader Christopher Antony, 75, shares an instance of neglect watched from close quarters as a story.

There was this young girl in school uniform hand-holding a small boy, around ten years younger than her, to a school for girls which also took in boys then, in what was called Baby Class. During recess, she would take him to the urinal, and she would help him wash up and take care of him like a parent. Next year he moved to a school for boys. He grew up loving and admiring her for keeping the house spick and span and ensuring that all at home go for the Sunday Mass in their Sunday best, a term that has lost its meaning. He is not a deeply religious or a pious person but hates to see people in Church these times dressed very casually in jeans and tees as if they have come to a place for fun and not for prayers.

She was married off to a decent man in a respectable family in a far-off and then very under-developed, sleepy village. A convent-educated girl in a traditional zamindari village was sort of a mismatch. But she decked up her married home there and was probably the best-kept house in that village in those early days. Sadly, as she grew older, she had to painfully see that the residents of that home were the least interested in taking a further interest in the house's upkeep. 

To add to her woes, she had a fall sapping her of all her energy gradually and making her almost bedridden. This took a toll on her mental health as well as her consciousness. It started deteriorating, but what was there in the inner recesses of her mind was erupting when she got a chance to talk. She mentioned how she lost not only her fluency in conversing in English but was not even confident to speak in English. She got stuck in a village where she didn't get the opportunity to interact with many English-speaking people.

When he visited her after more than a couple of years, a delay due to the Covid pandemic, she was seen peering through the window in a closed room with no others in the house. That was a painful sight. She didn't recognize him but seemed to pretend that she remembered who she was when he told her. She was smiling in the way she did in her jovial days but didn't talk in the present tense. Mother had just gone out and would be back soon, she said. He acknowledged this with deep sadness inside. She was talking about her long-dead mother! Their mother. Yes, they are siblings. He was meeting his sister after years, the same one who would hold his hand and take him to school in that image he had from their childhood years. The same one who would take care of him as a parent.

And now? Who was caring for her, he thought. Forget the dead, even some of her own living didn't seem to care. Had there been deliberate abuse of her like many elders suffer in India? Neglect is also abuse, he thought. He returned home, crestfallen with memories from childhood and beyond flooding his mind. 

Does this story remind you of any elder you may know? 

If you think an elder may need to speak to someone or read more to understand what abuse and neglect are, read here:

What is elder abuse

How to report abuse

Images courtesy: Pixabay

Silver Talkies Members get a special chance to get published with us. We welcome travelogues, family recipes, memoirs, oral history accounts, short stories, poems, humour and personal essays, tips on living well and if you are a qualified subject matter expert then your thoughts on your chosen topics as well. Email us on connect@silvertalkies.com to know more!

Midnight's Children by Salman Rushdie: You can't have a list without this one. It is considered an absolute masterpiece by Salman Rushdie, who was viciously attacked in New York just a few days ago. Midnight's Children is the story of Saleem Sinai, the narrator of this book. Born at midnight on August 15, 1947, the book is about his fate intricately linked to his country. It's also about the mystic abilities that connect Sinai to the other midnight's children of India, all born in that first hour of freedom. In 1981, the book received both the Booker Prize and the James Tait Black Memorial Prize. 

Indian Summer: The Secret History of the End of an Empire by Alex Von Tunzelmann

This book chronicles all the significant political people and events that led to the partition of India. It demonstrates how a small group of people's decisions completely altered the nation. Because it discussed the relationship between Jawaharlal Nehru, India's first prime minister, and Edwina Mountbatten, Lord Mountbatten's wife, the book was controversial.

The Integration of Indian States by VP Menon: This is for the factually oriented reader. VP Menon was the personal secretary to Sardar Patel. One of the most fundamentally significant challenges the Indian government faced following Independence was the amalgamation of the 554 princely kingdoms with the Indian state. The book details the negotiations Patel and Menon carried out with each of these states and might interest those with a keen eye on administrative history.

The Chowpatty Cooking Club by Lubaina Bandukwala:  Suppose you are a grandparent wishing to give the young ones a window into children's lives during the freedom struggle. In that case, the books from the Songs of Freedom series (Duckbill) make a great choice. In the Chowpatty Cooking Club, set during the Quit India Movement, three children fervently wish to participate in the freedom struggle and revolution brewing around them. The author weaves in actual historical elements such as an underground people's radio that broadcasts news hidden from the British, student rebels and secret codes. It's a book for children that adults are likely to love too! 

The Great Indian Novel by Shashi Tharoor: Shashi Tharoor's debut novel is a fiction that retells the great epic of Mahabharata. It's a political satire that draws parallels with major events in India's political history during the freedom movement and in the post-independence era.

Also read: Oral historian Aanchal Malhotra shares her personal favourite list of 20 books on the Partition of 1947.

Every August, Silver Talkies records memories and instances of humanity, fortitude, and courage during the Independence Years; stories of life in a newly independent India; crossing over during Partition, and finding freedom. You can find these stories here & here.

A 2016 IMRB and online marketplace OLX study surveyed that Indian homes have over $11.7 billion worth goods that haven't been used in over a year. Ninety per cent of the respondents in the survey reported stocking up on goods. Indians aren't the only ones cluttering up their homes. A Los Angeles Times report once said that an average American home had about 300,000 items. 

Little wonder then that decluttering and tidying are now become much-used buzzwords and after the Japanese expert Marie Kondo, even profitable careers! Getting rid of what no longer "sparks joy" saves space and can be highly therapeutic.

Decluttering can be especially useful for older adults who may wish to live in smaller apartments with minimal items for the ease of cleaning and chores. But, simultaneously, one woman's clutter could be another woman's gold. So we asked professional organiser and decluttering consultant Aanchal Kejriwal to tell us how to define clutter.

Clutter would be the things that occupy space in our drawer, attics, bed storages, and garages that we don't use or that don't serve any purpose, she said, categorising it into two things:

· Things that we don't love

· Things that are serving no purpose in our lives. 

Why should we declutter? Kejriwal says the reason lies in those "happy hormones when we get rid of all the unwanted stuff and create a happy environment around us." A 2019 BBC article quotes Sophie Scott, a cognitive neuroscientist at University College London. She says tidying up and decluttering work as rewards, increasing the release of the neurotransmitter dopamine, the brain's pleasure chemical. There are enough studies to show how clutter connects with mental health issues. Research has shown its links with the stress hormone cortisol and lower productivity, depression and insomnia.

Indian homes, with their many wardrobes and the inevitable store rooms, are often a declutterer's dream, though getting started on clearing up an overflowing space can be a daunting task. Here are some tips we culled out from experts:

When you want to declutter, close your eyes and picture the kind of space you want to create. That is the first step. 

The second step is to start decluttering. But avoid taking on a massive project and getting overwhelmed. Instead, start with a small corner of your house. For instance, pick up a medicine cabinet or a small work drawer.

How do you remove unwanted items? Pick up each item and start asking if you are using it currently. Are you going to use it in the next six months? Is it something that you love? As Marie Kondo's KonMari effect is famous for prompting: Does it spark joy in you? If it does, it's probably worth the keep!

Kejriwal warns that we need to be ruthless while doing this exercise. 

"There are lots of things like showpieces or photo frames that are not serving a purpose, but they make us smile. We keep many things at home even if they don't make us smile because we have invested money in them. But we need to understand one simple thing. The money we have invested in it is already gone, and now it's just occupying space. So if it is not serving a purpose, nor making us happy, what is the point of holding on to that object?"

o The third step in your decluttering journey is categorising every item - such as kitchen utensils, purses, and clothing. 

Once you have categorised, it is time to assign each item a place. The trick is to think of the first place you would look at if you lose that item. For example, if the drawer in the console at the entryway is where you always look for car keys, that is the right home for them. Kejriwal says that once we have organised, we need to maintain it by always keeping the item there. So organising is a continuous process.

Our clothes often take up the maximum time to sort and keep organised. They are also sometimes the hardest to give away. Deepthi Kala, a senior citizen who has moved 14 homes thanks to her husband's stint with the army, shared a few tips on ensuring you declutter your clothes.

Kala is now permanently based in Pune and takes on clothes decluttering exercise for herself every year. "In casual, everyday clothing, I keep aside anything that doesn't fit me anymore or that I haven't worn for more than a year because it wasn't the right buy. I have a donation box handy, and that's where these go."

We all keep some clothes for sentimental reasons, no matter how old, faded or unwearable they may be. "Once I turned 60, I pledged to let go of at least five old items each year. This year I donated my wedding saree to a charity that uses old clothing to make blankets." 

Kejriwal says organising a wardrobe could initially seem daunting, but a few simple items can help you channel your inner organiser. Here's her go-to list of accessories that will ensure your wardrobe sparks joy: 

* Velvet hangers with thin handles. Similar types of hangers help you optimise space. These are often available on Amazon at reasonable prices in bulk.

* Baskets to categorise items easily like leggings, lingerie, dupattas or other small things and make your wardrobe look neat.

* Multifunctional drawer organisers to make compartments in your drawers and keep smaller items neatly stored. 

And while we can channel our inner organiser the way we are best comfortable, sentimental items can be another story.

It would help if you were somewhat ruthless here too, but differently. "How many times do you revisit your old, sentimental possessions? Do you open and see them every day? Once a month or every few months? If you do, then it is worth having it as a keepsake forever. "Most of us don't revisit sentimental items at all. We simply store them somewhere. So if you have a space constraint, you need to ask yourself if you are really enjoying those items if you haven't revisited them and perhaps declutter," Kejriwal adds. 

Decluttering can help you create a neat, easy-to-maintain and happy space. It can also be a calming, mindful activity. So if your home looks like it could do with a good clean, perhaps it's time to give it a go.

Do you love to declutter different areas around your home? Share your tips with us in the comments below.

Photographs: Pixabay; Unsplash

Whether you have a huge apartment or a tiny balcony, home gardening is always one of the best ways to bring greens and flowers indoors. Here are some easy expert tips.

Gone are the days of having the luxury of a spacious garden or a big farm to flaunt your gardening skills in the heart of the city. While a handful of us may be lucky enough to enjoy the privilege of the countryside or have enough space within our city homes, most of us are bound to apartments that leave us with no other option than a balcony, rooftop and interior home garden. However, that shouldn't weaken your green finger and spirit. All you need to know are some tricks to help you better care for your home garden.

Shivani Kapoor, an environmentalist and nature lover, shares some valuable tips on home gardening. 

Here's what you must keep in mind while prepping up a home garden. 

How much time you can invest in caring for your home garden: You must be realistic when it comes to home gardening and decide on the time you can make for taking care of your plant babies. "If you have time just once a week, choose plants that survive without much care or with infrequent watering," says Kapoor. 

Identify the kind of sunlight at home: Before setting up your home garden, determine the type of sunlight your home receives - is it the strong sunlight or the soothing morning sunlight. If indoors, is it a well-lit space with natural daylight or indirect sunlight? Is it at a distance away from the window or a dimly lit corner? "The type of plant you choose must depend on the type of sunlight your space gets," she says. 

Your planter matters: This is something most of us tend to overlook, but the size, quality, and look of your planters play an essential role, believes Kapoor. 

Identify the right soil: You must learn to point out if the soil you are using is of good or poor quality, and based on that, you need to find ways of enhancing the soil quality. 

Over-pampering your plant can kill it: Too much of anything is not good, and so is the case with over-pampering your plant babies. Over fertilisation and overwatering can damage your plants and even kill them. 

Remember, no plant can grow without light: All plants would need sunlight to thrive. Some can grow in the shade, and some need bright light. The degree of light required for each plant can vary. Hence, it is an excellent idea to sun or air all your plants once a week. 

Stale air damages your plants: If your plants aren't getting fresh air, there is a higher risk of damage. Stale air from air conditioning (AC) within the home can damage your plants more than lack of sunlight. Thus, keeping your plants exposed to fresh air is always necessary. 

Top tips for having a healthy home garden

Kapoor shares the best hacks to grow a healthy home garden that makes you proud:

• Buy plants that suit your lifestyle.

• Keep a spray bottle handy to mist your plants, moisten the moss stick of money plants, and spray insecticide if needed.

• The safest fertiliser is vermicompost.

• Starting with gardening as a hobby but wary of spending too much on it right away? Locate a government nursery in your city – most plants and saplings are free.

• Grow local flowers and help the bee population!

• Consider planting a flowering or fruit tree instead of a date palm if you have space in your garden.

• The best spots for keeping a plant home depend on the plant type. However, it is ideal to place plants right beside a window. 

Red flags of home gardening.

If you are a newbie, you may not be aware of certain red flags indicating damage to your plants. So how do you know if you are going the right way? "If you find your plant has too many soft yellow leaves, it indicates you are overwatering, and you must stop immediately; otherwise, the plant could die. But, on the other hand, if you find too many brown and wrinkled yellow leaves, it indicates underwatering, and you will have to water that plant more frequently," says Kapoor. 

Did you know?

Syngonium, Pothos, ZZ, Snake Plant and Snowwhite Aglenoma are the easiest to maintain indoor plants. 

"Home gardening can be a great healer, especially among older adults. It is a gentle exercise and keeps your mind and body active. Raising a plant keeps you engaged and engrosses you with its growth journey. Green is soothing. A healthy green surrounding is in itself calming," says Kapoor. Follow these tips, flaunt your home garden and heal yourself. 

Silver Talkies has a thriving Gardening hobby group called The Green Thumb for our members who are plant parents. It is one of the many hobby groups we have -- from books to quizzing and astronomy. These hobby groups are free for our members and often become lively discussion spaces to share news and pictures of your hobby. To know more or join us as a member today, visit: https://silvertalkies.com/community.html

All images courtesy: Pixabay 

If you wish to learn more about Transactional Analysis, click here to read an interview of Anna Chandy, counsellor and top Transactional Analysis practitioner by Sandhya Rajayer, writer and mental health therapist.

Calling our Members to Write for Us!

Silver Talkies Members get a unique chance to get published with us. We welcome travelogues, family recipes, memoirs, oral history accounts, short stories, poems, humour and personal essays, tips on living well and if you are a qualified subject matter expert then your thoughts on your chosen topics as well. Email us at connect@silvertalkies.com to know more!

With over one billion active users in a month, Instagram is where popular social media is at. What started as a photo-sharing app is now a place to share information, promote your hustle or hobby, plan an offbeat vacation and thanks to reels – even bring out your inner performer. With over 180 million users, India has one of the highest numbers of Instagram users, most of them in the age group of 18-24 years. And while numbers are important, it doesn't mean older adults are staying away from the app. In fact, many Indian older adults are popular Instagram influencers breaking ageing stereotypes. In 2018, the BBC ran an article calling popular older adults on Insta ‘granfluencers’ (We are not big on the term as not every older person is a granny). Despite the massive focus on youth, top older Insta influencers had a 24 per cent increase in their followers, the article said. And no surprises there. Older influencers on Instagram often bring us a different (and very real) view of age, keeping us hooked to their posts.  

Here's our list of 10 Indian older adults rocking Instagram. 

Ravi Bala Sharma

https://www.instagram.com/ravi.bala.sharma/

Dancing her way into our hearts, 63-year-old 'Dancing Dadi' aka Ravi Bala Sharma has 187,000 followers and growing! Sharma took to the stage to fulfil her late husband's wish. A video of Sharma dancing the bhangra shared by singer/actor Diljit Dosanjh made her account famous. But Sharma thinks beyond follower numbers. “For me, the follower count is just the number of people who love and appreciate my art. I try to put out videos regularly with the help of my son who edits them for me,” she told The Hindu. She often does dance collabs with younger people, including her children. What you take away from those videoes is her infectious energy, bright smile and the belief that it's never too late to shine! 

Manjri Varde

https://www.instagram.com/manjrivarde/

We absolutely love this 'Sassy Saasu' who currently has 132k followers and more. We also love how she has been turning ageism and relationship stereotypes upside down. Watch her boss it up with her crazy collection of boots, dish up some undhiyo or pav bhaji, create fun reels with her daughter in law Sameera Reddy and be the doting grandmom squishing her adorable grandkids. Want to know more? Read about her here.

Dinesh Mohan

https://www.instagram.com/dinesh.mohan.58/

Depression and thoughts of self-harm. Overweight and health issues. Lack of direction. Dinesh Mohan, 63, has gone through many personal battles to become a successful senior model with over 300,000 Instagram followers. Looking at him it's hard to imagine he weighed over 130 kgs at his lowest point. His is a story of determination and effort as Mohan worked hard to get his mind and body back in shape. Read about him here.

Neena Gupta

https://www.instagram.com/neena_gupta/

You have to hand it over to Neena Gupta, actor par excellence and redefining bold since she became a single mom by choice to daughter Masaba way back in 1989. Gupta made heads turn with her performance as an older woman dealing with pregnancy and the society around her in the 2018 comedy grosser ‘Badhai Ho.’ She also wrote her no holds barred autobiography ‘Sach Kahun Toh.’ Her Insta account is hugely popular with 9,00,000 followers and more and reflects Gupta’s bindaas style, whether dressed in casual travel shorts, kaftans or something designed by her daughter.

Senguttuvan Subburathina

https://www.instagram.com/sengut2006/

Senguttuvan Subburathina, 72, turned chef after retirement to help his wife with daily kitchen chores and fuel his passion for cooking. He has since then been the senior-most contender in 2021 SunTV MasterChef Tamil, making his way to the top 24 out of over 1500 contestants and becoming a food influencer on Instagram with over 14K followers. He told us how he did it!

Seema Anand

https://www.instagram.com/seemaanandstorytelling/

Seema Anand describes herself as a sex health educator and storyteller. Her striking good looks and that glorious silver hair may catch your attention first but what will keep you hooked to Seema Anand's pathbreaking, ageism shattering Insta account are the discussions around sex and how she demystifies it. She has discussed how older adults can have a better sex life; contraception myths and knowing your body better. Anand completely shatters the image that an older person cannot talk about sex and has an account that is a must-visit to know about pleasure, both for the young and old. 

Rajini Chandy

https://www.instagram.com/rajinichandyofficial/

The boss lady that she is, Rajini Chandy wears her success lightly and speaks her mind. In her 70s, she is sure to live her life just as she wants. "I don't know how many hours I have left, let me enjoy them," she told us once in a live conversation. Besides keeping herself fit, Chandy learns the drums and acts in ad films and films. She has even launched a YouTube channel to inspire other older adults. An OG in every avatar, watch her shatter a few glass barriers in this live interview with us.

Vijayalaxmi Chhabra

https://www.instagram.com/vijayalaxmichhabra/

Love saris? Would you like to know more about textiles and Indian fabrics? Join the 50,000 plus followers Vijayalaxmi Chhabra has on Instagram. The former director-general of Doordarshan is a saree influencer now and has an enviable collection.  To follow her is to learn the history of saree weaving from different parts of India. Her well thought out posts also give an insight into the lives of working women in the 70s and 80s and the importance of education and discipline, which seems to have been a hallmark of an older India. Read more on her here.

Nafisa Ali

https://www.instagram.com/nafisaalisodhi/

Few people radiate the joie de vivre actor and former swimmer Nafisa Ali exudes. Her 100,000 plus followers think so too. Even while undergoing treatment for ovarian cancer, Ali’s Insta account was a mix of positive reflections, gratitude and love. She shared her journey with courage, surrounded by her family and care. We saw her recently vacationing in Australia with her mother and brother. Hats off to her positivity and recovery. 

Harish Bali

https://www.instagram.com/visa2explore/

Harish Bali is a travel blogger. With 40,000 followers and more, Bali is a much DMed person now with people asking him for travel tips. He is a good source for information on travelling around India and the local food, including must not miss sights. From Katra to Kanyakumari, Bali has covered it all. Check out his straight from the heart account. 

Cover image courtesy: Rajini Chandy

Are you an Instagram user? Tell us your favourite people among the older adults out there in the comments below.

Is the summer heat getting to you? Follow our member Madhu Gulati’s guide to a relaxing holiday in the lake district of Kumaon

We went to Sattal in the Kumaon region during the Dasara holidays in October 2021 with our grandchildren. Known as the lake district of India, Sattal translates to seven Tals or lakes namely Nal-Damyanti Tal, Hanuman Tal, Garud Tal, Sita Tal, Ram Tal, Laxman Tal and Purna Tal. The lakes are said to be interconnected freshwater lakes and fall in the Nainital district, Uttarakhand, the name we all know.

Over to our holiday now. We flew to Delhi and the next morning reached Kathgodam by train. From there it was a taxi ride to our cottage in the hills. The lake views were reserved for the next morning. A very beautiful and calm lake, the colorful boats at Sattal Lake make for a lovely way to experience the serene waters. There are accessible hiking trails, with a good mix of oak and pine forests for company. There are options for adventure sports too like a 3-in-1 Zipline that I did with my husband Ashok and granddaughter Rhea. It was fun even though we got wet and did not have clothes to change into. 

One day, we hired a taxi and went to Mukteshwar, Satkol, Sitla Estate, Chauli ki Jali and Bhimtal. According to folklore, during the Pandavas' 12th year of exile, they couldn't find a water body to quench their thirst. Legend has it that Lord Bhima hit the ground with his mace, due to which an underground source of water came out and formed a lake called Bhimtal. Naukuchia Tal or the lake of nine corners is only four km from Bhimtal. It is famous for a variety of lotuses.

Mukteshwar is famous for rock climbing, rappelling, and many other adventure sports. There are cliffs hanging out from the hill and overlooking the valley below. There is one cliff with a big hole and that is called Chauli ki Jali. Mountains are full of legends and this one says that women who are not able to conceive should pass through the hole on a full moon night to be able to conceive. There is a Shiva Temple which is 5500 years old and is said to have been built by the Pandavas. Our next stop was Sitla Estate which is a 150-year-old house with a warm kitchen and cottages overlooking the mountains.

The next day we went to a Himalayan Ashram in Satkol. It is in a beautiful golden valley among orange groves and whispering willows. Sheeba, our daughter Kanika’s friend has a home there and treated us to lunch.

Sheeba is involved in the conservation of forests in that region and her home was very beautiful in the middle of a forest. On our way back, we shopped for local fruits, spices, and Pahari Rajmah (Kidney beans), among other things. 

This was a holiday to soak in nature. Our cottage was on a hill and we could see the sunrise in the morning from the front and the sunset from the back. We loved walking around the area, taking in the calm, and listening to the birdsong.

Sattal, Bhimtal, and Naukuchiatal are not places with a big list of attractions. But it can be a great holiday destination as you find solitude walking on the serene and enchanting trails in the midst of nature. It can be a very relaxing and peaceful time spent with the family, just like it was for all of us.

Images courtesy: Wikimedia Commons and Silver Talkies Team

Calling our Members to Write for Us!

Silver Talkies Members get a unique chance to get published with us. We welcome travelogues, family recipes, memoirs, oral history accounts, short stories, poems, humor and personal essays, tips on living well and if you are a qualified subject matter expert then your thoughts on your chosen topics as well. Email us at connect@silvertalkies.com to know more!

• Take them to bookstores, books festivals, and author readings – they will treasure the time spent with you. Keep an eye out for author sessions and other activities at your favorite bookstore- participating in these makes the book personal for children. Look up some of the Book fests in India: Peek A Book Lit Fest for kids; Bookeroo Festival; Neev Literature Festival.

• During these visits, give them a small budget and let them pick a book they like.

• Eight to nine-year-olds are beginning to understand themselves, so they might still be exploring which books they like. Expose them to a variety of books – from comic books to non-fiction to adventure, among others. If they like a particular TV show or a movie, get them to read the books based on those.

• If the grandkids are older, ask them to recommend a book to you. Read it with you and form a small book club, in which you discuss the book.?Get a few kids to form a book club – at 10-12, they are at an age where they like to be part of the crowd and will read whatever everyone else is reading. They will enjoy it more if they can have a little fan group to share thoughts about their favorite books.

• Finally, remember not all kids are readers. And it's ok if they don’t like books. Or sometimes they may be readers that like stories in other ways - allow them to access books in different ways like eBooks or audiobooks. The important thing is for them to have access to new ideas, diverse opinions and opportunities to let their imagination soar.

Note: Picture books are not just for kids

A picture book is one in which the illustrations are an important part of the storytelling. While some picture books are for toddlers, others are books that may have a lot of visual content but might be more suitable for older kids (in fact people of all ages enjoy picture books). While choosing picture books for younger kids, try books with rhythmic text alliteration and participation books that ask a question like Brown Bear Brown Bear by Eric Carle or Excuse Me is this India by Anushka Ravishankar. Some of the most fun reading sessions can come from sharing wordless picture books like Priya Kuriyan’s Ammachi’s Glasses, Canto Jimo’s Snip or Aaron Becker’s Quest trilogy. Children can tell the story in their own words and in any language – and add their own understanding of it!

Finally, when looking for picture books, get those with brilliant art – remember not all kids may like to read, but some may become immersed in the art – and thus seek more books like those to read. Hence, mission accomplished!

Do you share stories and favourite books with your grandchildren? Share with us in the comments below.

Images courtesy: Pixabay

Mumbai’s Art Deco goes beyond Marine Drive, spilling across neighbourhoods in Mohammed Ali Road, Dadar, Matunga, Bandra and going up to Chembur in the Eastern part of the city. Atul Kumar of Art Deco Mumbai, a documentation and advocacy non-profit, pegs the number of Art Deco buildings across Mumbai at 646. Kumar is a finance professional who lives in an Art Deco building himself and felt the need to preserve and document its unique heritage across the city.

The term Art Deco, or 'art decoratifs' is a way to describe a style of architecture, design and fashion that emerged in France in the 20s.’ "It is a melding of numerous styles that come together," says Kumar. He generously mentions some key features you can look out for in an Art Deco building:

• Streamlining: Curved contours embracing the wind. You can see this on many buildings on Marine Drive. Streamlining was inspired by aerodynamic design elements from aeroplanes, automobiles and ocean liners.

• Balconies: Rounded balconies with metal or concrete grills are another highlight.

• Eyebrow: A famous art deco feature, 'eyebrows' are cantilevered projections above windows and balconies. Kumar calls it "climate responsive architecture" because it gave respite from heavy rain or sunny, hot weather in a tropical city like Mumbai.

• Ship-style features: The ‘deco-liners’ or ships with Art Deco designs of the 1930s inspired much of the Art Deco architecture around the city. Some of the design inspiration from these ships can be seen in porthole windows, ship deck style balconies and observation towers. It’s a nod to Mumbai’s port city roots as well.

• Artistic deco fonts: The lettering of building names in Mumbai’s Art Deco structures is a beautiful melting pot of straight lines, geometric shapes and even regional fonts, all with a touch of elegance.

The Rise of Bombay Deco

As fascinating as the Art Deco heritage of Mumbai is the grim history of its rise. The rise of Art Deco in Mumbai owes its origins to the devastating plague of 1896 and the Spanish Flu that followed in 1918, says Alisha Sadikot. She runs the Inheritage Project, which encourages public engagement with Mumbai's heritage resources and conducts walking tours.

The Art Deco renaissance in Mumbai came about in the 1930s. The city was recovering and rebuilding from the deadly plague that had devastated it so the British created the Bombay Improvement Trust to make a cityscape with a better sewerage system and decongested housing. "Bombay is a port city," says Kumar, "So it became the trading outpost in Asia for the British Empire. Many Gujarati and Parsi families who were traders and ship merchants became prosperous and wanted to build new homes. Along Marine Drive plots of land were available for sale. The first set of Indian architects was also going to the Royal College of Art in England and visiting France. They were all exposed to this new extravagant, elegant, forward-looking style, called Art Deco. The ships they travelled in were Art Deco temples. So they had an aspiration of building homes and designer neighbourhoods with this modern style. They also had this magical new building material called cement concrete, which made this possible. All of this came together to create Mumbai’s Art Deco."

While the Victorian Gothic structures like High Court or Station built by the British were imposing grandeur statements, Art Deco was all about contemporary lines with elements of openness. Led by Indian patrons and often Indian architects, the Art Deco movement was an early sign of resistance to the British, still a subject of much debate among experts.

  From Empress Courts and Windsor Manors, newer buildings gradually started being called Bharatia Bhavan and Sekseria Building or Soona Mahal. Indian motifs began making an appearance on building facades like the diya or swastika.  

What also emerged was confidence in a new India that was coming up. An example of this is the New India Assurance Building in Fort with huge life-size Indian agrarian representations like hand carts and women in saris. The nearby Art Deco Lakshmi Insurance Building has a copper statue of Goddess Laxmi on top.

Mumbai’s Art Deco heritage is a legacy of new thinking that went beyond just a better cityscape to incorporate ideas of an emerging India during the British rule. While the UNESCO heritage tag has protected the Oval Maidan and Marine Drive precinct, Art Deco structures around the city are in danger of being demolished for redevelopment purposes. Kumar thinks advocacy can go a long way in creating awareness and a sense of pride in this unique legacy. We hope so too!

Where To Go For Your Art Deco Tour of Mumbai

Mumbai's Art Deco aesthetic spread beyond private residences to public spaces such as movie houses, cricket stadiums (Brabourne Stadium), office buildings and even spaces of worship. Here are some Art Deco gems around Mumbai.

The Karfule Petrol Pump, Ballard Estate: Mumbai's only surviving Art Deco petrol pump, it's been in service for 80 long years!

NM Petit Fasli Agiary, Churchgate: Designed in 1937-40,  this Parsi fire temple is an Art Deco beauty with its towering entrance, golden Gujarati lettering and imposing Egyptian sculptures in the entrance.  

Cotton Exchange Building: Cotton Exchange Building, which is now a jewellery market, is notable for the beautiful bas-relief that wraps the building façade, chronicling the journey of cotton, from fields to trade and showcasing India's rural life.

New India Assurance Building: Built in 1937, the building truly brought about a sense of 'new India.' Lifesized figures flank the façade while the sculptural reliefs show Indian field workers and farmers.

Shiv Shanti Bhuvan, Oval Maidan: Striking in its yellow and green colour scheme, Shiv Shanti Bhuvan looks over Oval Maidan, towards the Victorian Gothic structures on the other side.

Soona Mahal: You couldn't have passed through Marine Drive in Mumbai without a second glance at this beautiful structure that houses the popular Pizza by the bay restaurant and is the perfect example of Art Deco's streamlining element.

Regal & Eros Cinemas: Both are closed now. These marked the golden age of Art Deco construction in Mumbai in the 1930s. Regal was the first air-conditioned theatre in India.

Taraporevala Aquarium: Marked with Art Deco features like Ziggurats - stepped pyramids similar to a tiered cake and bas relief that evokes underwater life, this is a visually striking building. 

Dadar Parsi Colony: Curved balconies, tropical motifs, artistic lettering, ziggurat pillars, and Deco residences mark this colony.

All photographs are courtesy Art Deco Mumbai.

Enjoyed this Art Deco tour with us? Share your favorites or discoveries in the comments below.

Being a doctor is considered to be a prestigious profession now for all genders. Many women doctors are voices of authority on several crisis issues. But what was it for a woman to become a doctor around 150 years ago? Author and freelance journalist Kavita Rao’s book, Lady Doctors: The Untold Stories of India’s First Women in Medicine, tells us that it took an extraordinary amount of courage, determination, and fire in the belly to face assault, social ostracization, public shaming, and lack of acknowledgment for the brave women who chose the path.

Rao’s meticulously researched book brings us the unheard struggle of six Indian women who had that fire. In an interaction with Silver Talkies members’, she explained why she chose them and told their story:

Dr. Anandibai Joshi: In the 1880s when women were considered capable of only raising children and doing household chores, Dr. Anandibai Gopalrao Joshi became the first Indian lady doctor to finish her studies in western medicine from the United States. With encouragement from her controlling husband, Gopalrao Joshi, she became the first Indian woman to study overseas. She participated in the medical program of the Woman’s Medical College of Pennsylvania in 1883 and at 19, began her journey to become a doctor. At 21 she graduated with an MD in obstetrics and even received a congratulatory message from Queen Victoria on her success.

Explaining what makes Joshi stand out, Rao says, “In those days it was a taboo for a Brahmin woman to travel overseas because that meant she would lose her caste. But she stood up in front of the town hall and asked permission from the community to go. She refused to give up her custom, she refused to eat meat which many people consider as the cause of her early death as she could hardly find any vegetarian food overseas. She used colonialism and evangelism to get her education without letting go of her norms.”

Dr. Kadambini Ganguly: Not just the first practicing lady doctor in India, Ganguly was also the first Indian woman to pass the University of Calcutta Entrance Examination. 

She was the first woman to join Calcutta Medical College to study medicine in 1883 within just 11 days of her marriage to Dwarkanath Ganguly, her mentor, and avid supporter. In the 1880s, medical colleges were not open to women. Kadambini came and broke the door down for women in Calcutta Medical College. Following her admission, Calcutta Medical college started admitting students who were women.

“At that time the general belief was how can women attend classes with men as that would distract men? How can women attend anatomy classes or surgery as women are delicate? It was Ganguly who proved that women could do dissection and more, breaking stereotypes. However, she hasn’t written a word about herself which is disappointing because her struggles are so inspiring and worth an autobiography. That’s possible because she was a mother to eight children and simultaneously was practicing medicine which was a huge responsibility, no doubt,” says Rao.

Dr. Rukhmabai Raut: This firebrand sued her husband to escape child marriage at a time when divorce was absolutely unimaginable. She stood up against Hindu conservatives like Bal Gangadhar Tilak for her actions. The landmark legal case involving her marriage ultimately contributed to the Age of Consent Act in 1981. She had the most challenging journey so far, says Rao. “Bal Gangadhar Tilak belonged to the Pune conservative school of thought and did not approve of a woman leaving her marriage for education and Raut had to put up a very tough fight against him.”

In 1894, Raut received her Doctor of Medicine from the London School of Medicine for Women and became the second practicing lady physician of India. In 1895, she returned to India and worked as the Chief Medical Officer at the Women's Hospital in Surat and also established the Red Cross Society in Rajkot.

Dr. Haimabati Sen: “She wrote an entire memoir on her journey of becoming a doctor and for nearly a hundred years, it was lost in the bottom of the trunk. It was written in the 1880s and was translated from Bangla only in 2011. Nobody, including her family members, thought it was important to preserve such a treasure. In India, most of such significant historical accounts are not archived and that is more common when it comes to achievements of women in science,” says Rao.

Sen’s journey from a child widower to a physician is indeed exemplary. In her memoir, she writes, “Do I have to suffer all this simply because I am a woman? Would anyone have inflicted so much suffering on a man? Why are they so worried as to whose wife I am or whose daughter?” Sen was a pathbreaker as she took medicine to rural India. She wasn’t a very qualified doctor but she played a remarkable role in making medicine accessible to the villages - an issue with which we still grapple today.

Dr. Mary Punnen Lucose: She was denied admission for science subjects at the Maharajas College, Thiruvananthapuram for being a woman. As Indian universities did not offer admission to women for medicine, she moved to London encouraged by her doctor father and secured MBBS from the London University, the first woman from Kerala to do so. Mary returned to India in 1916 and went on to have a trailblazing career. In 1938, she became the Surgeon General, in charge of 32 government hospitals, 40 government dispensaries, and 20 private institutions. She is reported to have been the first woman to be appointed as the surgeon general in the world. She was the founder member of the Indian Medical Association and Federation of Obstetric and Gynaecological Societies of India (FOGSI). In 1975, she was awarded the civilian honor of Padma Shri by the Government of India.

“She was pro-science, very much in favor of modern medicine, believed in compulsory vaccination, and wanted the government to allocate more money to scientific medicine,” says Rao. This, was at a time in the late 1920s when a majority of the country did not believe in vaccination.

“She faced a lot of opposition from the male legislators who believed vaccination wasn’t a necessity and it was in fact harmful. For her to stand for the cause of vaccination when vaccination wasn’t even heard of was an amazing thing,” says Rao.

Dr. Muthulakshmi Reddy: An Indian medical practitioner, social reformer, and Padma Bhushan awardee, Dr. Reddy had a number of firsts to her name. She was the first female student to be admitted into a men's college, the first woman House Surgeon in the Government Maternity and Ophthalmic Hospital, the first woman Legislator in British India, the first Chairperson of the State Social Welfare Advisory Board, the first woman Deputy President of the Legislative Council, and the first Alderwoman of the Madras Corporation Avvai Home.

“Dr. Reddy was more than just a doctor. She played a significant role in India’s Independence; she helped shape public policy for women and health in the 1920s. In her memoir, she mentioned that she didn’t want to get married at first but eventually got married to a person who was very encouraging in her late 20s. She also writes that when she had children it became very difficult for her to balance her family and work alike and she even advised women doctors to not get married,” says Rao.

While the life of a woman in medicine is much smoother now, women still struggle with work-life balance and often need to juggle several odds to move ahead in their careers. Happy Women’s Day to all these spirited women, doctors, or mothers, who are working and fighting every day to make a mark.

Do you have a story of pathbreaking doctors and other career women in your family or among your loved ones? Share with us in the comments below.

Photograph courtesy: Wikimedia Commons & Pixabay

Haven't tried Wordle yet? First of all, congratulations. You are either truly off-grid or one of those original ‘going-against-the-grain’ types. Even so, being the Wordle evangelists that we are at Silver Talkies, here’s how it works: Wordle players get six attempts to guess the five-letter word of the day. Log in to https://www.nytimes.com/games/wordle/index.html and guess your first starter word, which has now become as much a thing as sourdough starters were during the height of the pandemic. Depending on whether the letters used exist in the answer or are in the right place (as shown by coloured grids), you continue guessing for six tries. Unless you are one of those lucky ones, who get it right on the first try-- a rooftop-shout worthy achievement. Once done, you have the easy option to share your spoiler-free Wordle score with fellow addicts and the world on social media. 

Created by Josh Wardle as a pandemic game for his partner who enjoyed the NYT crossword and other word games, Wordle is a viral sensation that’s given many of us a fun morning distraction. It works the brain and has also become a way to stay connected as the pandemic drags on and pulls us all collectively down, with a war playing out in the background now for good measure. Wordle has become a welcome five-minute (ok, sometimes much more) respite from obsessive doomscrolling, household chores and the morning rush for many of us, sending us down a rabbit hole of best five letter words, vowel combinations and eliminations. 

By now, everyone has their own theory of Wordle’s immense global popularity. British psychologist Lee Chambers credits it to the fact that it stimulates language and logic processing areas of our brains and releases dopamine, that much-needed shot of well-being. Then there is the social aspect of it. Washington Post columnist Molly Roberts called it ‘Togetherness in solitude’ as the ongoing pandemic has meant consistent loneliness and the need to find something to connect with family and friends as we used to, without a screen or mask between us. 

Wordle allows us to win a bit of that togetherness every day, Roberts wrote in her beautiful essay. 

Meenakshi John, 63, agrees. Wordle is her new way to say hello to her teenage grandson who lives in another city, even if it’s the only exchange they have during the entire day. “It’s a good way of reaching out to a teenager I don't have much in common with anymore.” Part of the charm also lies in the fact that you can’t solve the next Wordle immediately and need to wait until the next morning or 12 am if your addiction level has peaked. 

Does all that problem solving and social engagement improve our brain’s plasticity? While we await the verdict on that, there are enough studies that prove the benefits of solving word puzzles.

A study in May 2016 assessed the link between 14 cognitive measures (sustained attention, information processing, among these) and word puzzle solving in over 19,000 adults between 50 and 93 years. On each measure, regular puzzle solvers did much better than those who played occasionally or never.

Now that the New York Times has purchased Wordle, regular players are rather perturbed by questions on top of everyone’s minds. Would everyone’s favourite morning routine go behind a paywall soon? How then would we debate the best starting words? Discover best letter frequencies? Or declare that we aced KNOLL and (humble brag here) even CAULK?

All good things come to an end and though we don’t wish for it, perhaps Wordle may become another word game we remember to play occasionally someday. But that doesn’t mean the world of word games will dry up. They’ve always existed and now thanks to Wordle we now have some intelligent spin-offs that will ensure our brains stay active for quite a bit. CHECK out our list of more brain teasers to SOLVE and don’t forget to THANK us later!

Quordle: Not happy solving one Wordle a day? How about four? Try Quordle. You get 9 chances and this is an addictive toughie. 

Absurdle: Absurd enough to try but fun nevertheless, Absurdle prunes its list with each guess, making the game go on longer. A once try for sure, especially if you have time to kill. 

Nerdle: This one is for all Math geeks. Nerdle is a Math puzzle and you have to try to guess the problem and the solution within six tries. 

Crosswordle: This one combines the game of crossword with Wordle. The best part? Unlimited guesses! 

Worldle: A geography-based spin-off that is becoming as popular as the original. 

Wordle archives: This one is remembrance of Wordles past. Want to try the very first Wordle? Or every previous wordle you may have missed? It’s time to visit this one. 

Are you a Wordle player? Do you play other word games or puzzles? Let us know in the comments!

https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.photomyne.colorize&hl=en_IN&gl=US

https://apps.apple.com/dk/app/colourise-colour-to-old-photos/id1464665765

Before photo:

After photo:

Google photoscan

This app allows you to digitize your old photos while maintaining their original features. This app is free to use. All you must do is place your old photo on a flat surface and then open the app and snap a picture of the photograph. After that the app will show four dots on the picture.  Hover your photo to each of the dots until the dots turn blue.  That’s all and you’ve successfully digitized your photo.

This app is rated 4.7 stars on the app store. Both iOS and Android users can use this app. 

Links to download: 

https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.google.android.apps.photos.scanner&hl=en_IN&gl=US

https://apps.apple.com/us/app/photoscan-by-google-photos/id1165525994

Video tutorial link: 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WIlTztx-NM8

FamilySearch Memories

This app allows you to store your old photos and add more memories to them. Imagine you have a photo of your first birthday party. With this app you can store that photo along with a title to that photo .  You can even store an audio recording of yourself describing that precious moment for up to 5 minutes if you want your next of kin to experience that photo in detail. This app is free to download.

This app is rated 5 stars on the app store and is available for Android and iOS users. 

Links to download:

https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=org.familysearch.mobile.memories&hl=en_IN&gl=US

https://apps.apple.com/us/app/familysearch-tree/id885982973

Adobe scan

This is a free to use app which can be used to scan your images and store them in a pdf format rather than a jpeg. This app is very simple to use.  When you open the app, the camera option will open and then you can hold your phone over the photo. This app will click the photo and  will allow you to crop the edges.  It will then store the image as a pdf and give you the option to add more photos to the pdf if you want to. This app too is available for both Android and iOS users and can help you preserve your old photos well.

Links to download:

https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.adobe.scan.android&hl=en_IN&gl=US

https://apps.apple.com/in/app/adobe-scan-pdf-scanner-ocr/id1199564834

Video tutorial: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nECxS0G11WE

Photo digitisation has now become a trend and these easy to use apps have made it convenient for older adults to try their hands on photo digitisation. This not only helps you relive your past but also can be a great post-retirement hobby.You can try out these apps and share your photo digitisation experience with us in the comments section below.

Where to find: https://kahoot.com/ 

Heads Up: 10+ 

Minimum no. of players: 2

This game can be played with stick notes or with the Heads-Up app. The game is simple: two players sit opposite each other. One person has a sticky note placed on his forehead with a name on it. The other person must give clues to the person to guess the person’s name who's on the sticky note. The roles are then switched, and the person who guessed the name the fastest wins. If you don't have sticky notes at home you can play the game using the Heads-Up app available in the App Store and Google play store. The app is free to use but has a few in-app purchases for specific themes.

Where to find: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/heads-up/id623592465

https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.wb.headsup&hl=en_IN&gl=US

Head or Tails: 1+ 

Minimum no. of players 6

For this game, all you need is a quarter. One family member will be the coin tosser and all others will surround him/her in a circle. Then the coin will be flipped and everyone has to either touch their head or their back to indicate whether they think the coin will land on heads or tails. Whoever guessed wrong will be eliminated and the game will continue until one person remains.

Bingo

10+

Minimum no. of players 6

Using https://myfreebingocards.com/numbers/1-75/edit to generate free online tickets, Bingo can be played at home if you can print these out. There can be four levels: vertical row, horizontal row, diagonal and blackout( full house). A player who has won one round cannot play again.

Carolling challenge 5+

Minimum no. of players 4

This is a fun game that needs no props and can be played with friends and family while streaming on Zoom or Google Meet. The game begins when one person starts singing a line of a song, then the person to their right has to sing the next line and this continues until a person can sing his line. To keep the song competitive and ongoing it is recommended to sing Christmas themed songs known to many.

Never have I Ever Christmas Edition: 18+

Minimum no. players 2 but recommended 6+

This game is very simple, all members should sit in a circle. All players should have a glass of hot sauce (or something else that suits your spice tolerance level safely) in hand. One player begins by saying ‘Never have I ever — ‘. If a person in the circle had done what was said then they must take a sip from their cup, continuing the game on to the person on the right. The game ends when one person has finished his or her glass.

(E.g) Never have I ever - been snorkelling or Never have I ever - made besan ladoos.

Name the Christmas song: 8+

Minimum no. of players 6+

This is a very simple game that just requires a phone and speaker. All players are divided into two teams. There is one moderator who has the phone and is tasked with playing the Christmas songs. When the game begins, the moderator will play five seconds of the song chosen. The teams will then shout out if they know the song, if the correct song is guessed the moderator moves on to the next song, otherwise he will play another 5 seconds and continue this process until one team guesses the song. The game can be played with any amount of songs, and the winner will be determined by the team who has the most number of songs. 

Author Usha Rajagopalan remembers working with the legendary V Kurien

I was at crossroads that December of 1982. Newly married, I had taken a short break as Editorial Assistant at the Indian Institute of Management, Ahmedabad to accompany my husband who had just joined the Institute of Rural Management at Anand. My dilemma was whether I should return to the assured position in IIMA or resign and, living in Anand, pursue the still fluid plan of becoming a creative writer. I decided to find out by writing an article on Dr. Kurien, the famed Milkman of India. He was kind enough to give an appointment and I went fully prepared to take his interview. For that whole one hour, he spoke and I listened, wide eyed and mouth half open in complete awe. At the end, he asked me if I would like to work in his office at the National Dairy Development Board (NDDB). My dilemma ended, solved by a completely unexpected third option.

I joined Chairman’s office as Junior Executive in February 1983. Almost immediately, my senior colleague left on maternity leave and I held the fort alone, seeking help constantly from Dr. Kurien’s personal secretary, Mr. Krishnamurthy. I needed all the assistance I could get because I had never met anyone like Dr. Kurien. The office timing was from 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. I would reach a good half an hour earlier to prepare for the day that invariably ended only by 7.30 p.m. He would come early too, take out a slip of paper from his pocket on which he would have jotted down the important tasks to be done and shoot a fusillade of instructions. He ended up doing far more than any list could contain. At the age of 62, he had a punishing regimen. He was a perfectionist and a taskmaster who expected the same from his subordinates. I could match the hours he put in but it was impossible for me to think of 20 steps ahead or to look at an issue from so many angles like he did.

Dr. Kurien worked all seven days though NDDB followed a six-day week. At the end of the year, the employees received a card on which the days of their absence were marked. Mine, in the first year, showed one day marked red. I was sure I hadn’t taken any leave and checked the calendar. It turned out that I had indeed applied for and taken one day off – a Sunday. A year or so later, through Mrs. Kurien’s intervention, Dr. Kurien agreed not to come to office after lunch on Sundays. I was able to leave too though invariably it would be 3 p.m. or later

Occasionally, after finishing work, he would ask me to accompany him to the IRMA campus which was coming up next door. He took great pride in the project and inspected the hostel buildings, the auditorium, office complex and the faculty and staff quarters. He once stopped in front of a house at the end of a line and asked, ‘What do you see, Madam?’

I looked closely and saw nothing amiss.

‘The switch box is not straight!’ he snapped.

Once I worked up courage and asked Dr. Kurien for a day off for Diwali. I wanted to invite some friends over for lunch.

‘What cooking do you know? What special dish will you make?’ he asked.

‘A payasam at least,’ I replied, standing my ground.

‘It better be good,’ he said. ‘I’ll come to taste.’

Oh yeah? I thought but didn’t dare say it aloud.

By then, we had moved to the spacious IRMA campus, ironically to the very same house with the ever so slightly tilting light switch that Dr. Kurien had got straightened.

The next morning, my husband and I bustled around cooking and cleaning the house. Around 11 a.m., the doorbell rang. Interrupted from chopping vegetables, my husband opened the door. Mrs. Kurien stood outside and wished sweetly, “Happy Diwali!”

She didn’t blink an eyelid at my husband’s appearance, checked lungi, bare chested and knife in hand. Dr. Kurien was sitting in the car with a distinct sparkle in his eyes.

Only those who worked with him knew the softer side of his personality which surfaced unexpectedly. One evening he peeped into my cabin as he was leaving office and said, ‘You know I’m going to Trivandrum tomorrow morning. Do you want me to tell your parents anything?’

‘It’s all right, Sir. Don’t bother. You’ll be busy and won’t remember.’

He insisted that I give him my parents’ telephone number. Even before he returned from his travel, my father called in great excitement to say that Dr. Kurien had telephoned him, enquired after the family and had said that I was doing well!

Dr. Kurien worked harder than anyone I knew but he also took the time for basic courtesies such as replying to letters promptly or thanking people, especially those who had met or hosted him during his travels. On his first day back in office, he would dictate a letter of thanks to his secretary, Mr. Krishnamurthy, addressed to each one of them and invited them over so that he may reciprocate their kindness. He was a stickler for punctuality and demanded it of others. Like all leaders, he had the gift of the gab and I would see visitors come under his spell like I had the first time I met him. Working with a legend like Dr. Kurien was a privilege not given to many. I just happened to be one of the lucky ones. Perhaps not so fortunate because other than the rich experience and very many memories, I do not have a single photograph with Dr. Kurien. I regret this with all my heart.

P.S – in case you are at all curious to know why I resigned from his office – I did so to be a full time mom and to keep writing.

This article first appeared here. It has been republished in Silver Talkies with the author's permission.

Photos courtesy: Ms Nirmala Kurien

Author photograph: Aditi Mahesh

Our member Hari Baskaran and his wife Deepa went on a driving holiday to Spiti Valley. He tells us how it helped to revive their spirit after months of the pandemic.

In August 2021 my wife and I went on a driving adventure to Spiti Valley and Manali with a group of senior citizens. Kaza is approximately 770 km from Delhi via Shimla and approximately 200 km from Manali. It was a fascinating and memorable adventure and a very welcome break after being cooped up at home for a year and a half due to the pandemic. Besides the sheer magnificence of the Himalayan Mountain ranges, this trip helped my wife and me break away from a nagging sense of fear and anxiety. We got back our mojo and regained our spirit of adventure.

In the months leading up to the expedition, there were heavy rains, flash floods and loss of lives near the areas we were to visit. Many well-wishers advised us not to go ahead as it was far too dangerous. Most travelogues and blogs also described some sections of the route as treacherous and a challenge for the most experienced of drivers.  Besides, we had to cope with high altitudes. Senior citizens beware, is what they said.

Nevertheless, our intrepid group of senior citizens fed off the energy of each other and went ahead undaunted.

What followed was an unforgettable experience of a lifetime. The Himalayan ranges are awe-inspiring and the scenic beauty takes your breath away. The ancient 1000-year-old Buddhist monasteries were a delight. They house several valuable and ancient scriptures, artefacts and mural paintings. The little villages en route had eating places that offered wholesome food in memorable surroundings. At times the roads were in poor condition. Some sections were truly torturous and easily the worst roads we have ever been on. This added to the thrill and adventure and made it an unforgettable experience.

Why should senior citizens participate in these arduous events?

Besides the bragging rights, it brings you a whole host of benefits. Let me stick to the top three in this post.

1. Feeding off the energy of others: Elders who have a strong love of adventure, a resilient mind and the spirit to challenge themselves are exceptionally inspirational. They have a love of life which is very infectious. Participating in activities and events with them rekindles our passion for life and is a wonderful tonic for a healthy life.
2. Breaking free of anxiety: We can get anxiety-prone as we age and more so in difficult times such as the pandemic. We tend to view events from a worst-case perspective and deny ourselves the opportunity to refresh and energise the way we think and live. Such activities in the company of inspiring people help us break free of this negative mindset. This too rekindles the zest for life and is a wonderful tonic for mental health.
3. Gaining new experiences: Experiences of this nature are unique. You learn a lot. Meet many wonderful people. Gain self-confidence. As we age our mental faculties decline. The fear of diseases such as dementia is ever-present and a source of worry. Experiences of this nature go a long way in keeping your mental faculties active.

These observations are backed by the studies (a special report by The Harvard Medical School - A guide to cognitive fitness) of several specialists in the field of eldercare. 

Preparing for a Spiti Valley driving adventure

Clothing: We travelled light but carried layers of clothing to cope with warm and cold conditions. Warm innerwear, a light sweater, a fleece jacket and a warm jacket were more than adequate for us. The coldest temperatures in August were at night at Nako and Kaza where it dropped to 7 degrees. Day temperatures were around 20 degrees. 

Medical kit: Besides sufficient quantities of our regular medicines, we carried contingency medicines such as paracetamol, anti-loose motion tablets, broad-spectrum antibiotics and Diamox for the prevention of high altitude sickness. We took a tablet of Diamox for a couple of days before reaching high altitudes. My wife developed mild symptoms due to high altitude sickness at Kaza but recovered immediately with Paracetamol. Staying hydrated is most important. Our highest points of stay overnight were Nako and Kaza at about 3600 metres. During the day we visited places that reached altitudes of about 4500 metres. 

Stay and food: We had no problems locating decent places to stay at all our night halts. No prior bookings gave us the flexibility to change our plans at any time if it became necessary. There was good wholesome food at dhabas along the way and at our places of stay. 

Type of vehicle: The roads were reasonably good at several places and very good at some places. The Losar – Kumjun La – Gramphu stretch was a bad one with dirt tracks and poor quality roads whenever we went off the highway. An SUV or 4-wheel drive with good ground clearance should be the vehicle of choice to do this trip. You are likely to hire a rented chauffeur-driven vehicle or hire a professional driver to drive your car. Here are some tips to help you ensure that you are well prepared for a long car journey. 

https://www.team-bhp.com/safety/preparing-indian-road-trip 

Electronics: A mobile phone camera is more than adequate. Reliance Jio had the best connectivity in the Spiti Valley so carry a Jio sim in addition to your usual sim. Carry a power bank and all your charging cables. 

Finally take along oodles of high spirits, a willingness to take the rough with the smooth and an open mind for adventure and you will love this journey. 

All photographs are courtesy Hari Baskaran. 

Our member Sarala Upadhya writes on the joys of being creative and why creativity is ageless.

Recently, I was taking part in organising the Annual Day of our friends’ group. One of my friends was enthusiastically explaining about an event in which we had to think of the many ways of using a stick, long or short, plain or decorated. Suggestions for small mono-acts, demos, and skits were shared. Amid equally enthusiastic responses from the group, we managed to cull a dozen and more small acts around the given subject. It was truly a case of creative outburst. Within a span of 15 minutes, the whole event was finalised with the sequence and distribution of acts in place. It would have amazed any professional Design and Development team looking on.

Creativity is not necessarily learning and doing something new. The creative person draws information and skills from her experience everywhere.

One of my favorites is this lady on the popular video circuit, who can make eight types of breakfasts with the same basic batter. She added some small but significant variations in the basic recipe to get the variety in cooking. She has lakhs of followers on social media and probably earned quite well from creative culinary skills!

I wonder if we can all try and get creative that way. Sometimes we may think we are too old to do anything new. Because aging is generally associated with physical slowing down, loss of memory, and slow thinking.

You may be surprised to know that creativity can grow exponentially with aging if there is the right approach. Age can gather knowledge and experience. More importantly, a sense of intuition and wisdom also become acute. Aged people are better judges of what works and what does not.

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This may compensate for all the other age-related drawbacks. In addition, there is a certain boldness to take a chance, be creative and try out new things. If it works, well and good! If it does not, there is always a satisfaction of having tried. Being creative can be very beneficial for an aging person in more ways than one. It brings a certain positivity in life, being able to look forward to doing something new, something better, and even excelling in doing it. If the creative urge can bring out a new product useful for the community, there is a sense of fulfilment. You may have heard of Latika Chakraborty who turned into an entrepreneur by utilizing scraps of material to make beautiful bags.

Engaging in a creative activity is a true stressbuster because it is something that you really love to do.

My mother sat down in the afternoons and got busy making long necklaces embellished with beautiful flowers, all in cotton wool. They were used for puja on special occasions. That was her time for this silent engaging activity to unwind after a busy morning, taking care of a large family. That aside, she was ready to make snacks for us returning from school. She would be very happy if we appreciated her lovely creations and vied with each other to use them in puja. It seemed to energize her to do more of the creative work.

Being creative is like giving nutritious food to the mind. Give yourself a generous helping without worrying about your sugars or pressures. Your heart will love the treat when someone says “Wow! You are so creative! Can you teach me how to do this?”

Bonding with your grandparents may never be easy, but have you ever tried to fill in the gaps? Richelle Adarsh, a teenage changemaker keen on cross-generational learning, shares with us some ways of filling generation gaps that make it a win-win for both generations. 

Until I was 11 years old, my grandparents were almost like my roommates- we’d watch TV together, take naps together, eat together- and I wasn’t complaining. However, they moved out soon after and I got busy with school, extra classes, and my friends, just like any other teenager. I made sure to visit them on the weekends and stay over, and I wanted to use this short period of time to make up for the five days I was away from them. Want to know how? By indulging with them in activities that were enjoyable for both my grandparents and me. These activities helped me maintain the bond that was under threat of growing weaker due to distance.

Here are some ways that I bonded with my grandparents at home. The younger generation can try these methods online and knit a close bond with their grandparents even if they don’t live together or close enough to be able to visit.

Grandparents are the closest means to time travel

And that’s free entertainment for hours on end. So why would you give up an amazing opportunity to vicariously experience what it was like during the age of zero traffic, waiting weeks to receive letters which were the equivalent of today’s text message, or learning how they survived in a world that we would now consider extremely boring? Grandparents would gladly narrate their entire life story, and even if this is the seventh time you’re hearing about it, there’s a particular novelty to it, be it a tiny new detail that you had previously missed out on, or a new layer of meaning you’ve unraveled as you have grown older yourself.

Learning grandparents’ special recipes and kitchen hacks

   It is common knowledge that the food that our grandparents make is unsurpassable. We may never be able to do justice to their cooking, but we can attempt to learn these recipes and their history, or certain tried and tested kitchen hacks that have come in handy over the years. Perhaps you could co-author a cookbook with your grandparents or help them write one like Ummi Abdulla’s granddaughter Nazneen did, filled with some delicious heirloom recipes to be passed down from generation to generation. Another great kitchen activity would be collaborating with your grandparents to give their traditional recipes a modern twist!  

Exchanging tips on fashion and styling

When I was younger, I found immense joy in pestering my grandmother to let me “style” her beautiful, long hair only to tangle it up into an inextricable mess. I don’t think it’s necessary to put our grandparents through this torture to bond with them. However, a fun dress-up session– learning how to drape a saree or other traditional clothing, and in turn, maybe giving some of their clothes a modern twist, or helping them shop for clothes online would certainly evoke laughter while judging each other’s fashion choices.

Helping them navigate the virtual world

  Besides helping them set up Whatsapp, Instagram or Facebook, helping them navigate around websites like Pinterest, or even Spotify could encourage them to explore their interests. It is also a great opportunity to collaborate by making mood boards or maybe even a playlist of your favorite songs together! For inspiration, check out Mr & Mrs Verma on Instagram. Their granddaughter introduced them to it during the lockdown and they’ve been slaying it ever since.  

Passing on niche skills

  A grandmother knitting a sweater, or a grandfather tending to his garden may be as stereotypical as it gets, but these skills, along with various others, such as crochet or even carpentry are fading away. A short lesson every day might just save these dying art forms and you could help them by finding new designs, patterns, or projects that would give them the pleasure of creating something for their grandkids, or better still, work on a project together. Check out 75-year-old Asha Puri’s knitting venture with her granddaughter Krittika Sondhi – With Love From Granny.

These activities could be a melange of sharing knowledge– both new and old, bridging the gap between generations that has widened with the advent of technology. Rather than being ignorant about the intergenerational gap, you can use it as the quintessential tool to create new memories. So take some time off your (supposedly busy) schedules and prepare to not just strengthen this bond, but also discover yourself in the process. You may learn a thing or two (or more) from the grandparents and they may open a new window because of you!

About The Author

Richelle Adarsh is an 18-year-old student and teacher, thanks to SilverTalkies, currently debating which of her multiple interests like psychology, media studies, or journalism to major in while pursuing her undergraduate studies. In her free time, she enjoys cooking, dancing, and reading, apart from watching Netflix.

Glass Pyramid, Louvre

The Louvre: How about getting a chance to be in Paris from your home and experiencing the grandeur of the Louvre – one of the world’s largest museums and the most iconic historic monuments of the city of love? You can now have free online tours of some of the most popular exhibits including the Egyptian Antiquities and Michaelangelo’s works. The online tour offers you a 360-degree look at the museum. In order to get additional information, you can click around the rare artifacts. You can take a virtual tour here: https://www.louvre.fr/en/online-tours#tabs

The British Museum

The British Museum: You don’t have to be in London physically anymore to take a tour of the British Museum. You can access its priceless collection of over eight million objects online. The museum has joined hands with the Google Cultural Institute to offer virtual tours to visitors from the comfort of their homes. You may take your virtual tour here: https://britishmuseum.withgoogle.com/

Tokyo National Museum

Top 5 Museums in Tokyo: Sit in your living room and get an impressive taste of the best museums in Tokyo online. You can now take a virtual tour of Tokyo National Museum, The National Museum of Modern Art, Tokyo, The National Museum of Western Art, Tokyo, National Museum of Nature and Science and Kioi Art Gallery, Edo Ise-Katagami Kimono Museum. Get your virtual tour here: https://artsandculture.google.com/story/EwVhCgGIR8ITXg

Kiran Nadar Museum

Kiran Nadar Museum Of Art, New Delhi: Welcome to India’s first private museum of art exhibiting modern and contemporary works of art, online. Established by avid art collector, Kiran Nadar and opened to the public in 2010, the collection comprises a magnificent generation of 20th-century Indian painters from the post-independent decades and those of the younger contemporaries. Take the virtual tour of the museum here: https://knma.netlify.app/

The Dalí Theatre Museum

The Dalí Theatre Museum: Here’s a chance of quenching your love for Spanish art. Virtual tours are now possible for the Dalí Theatre Museum, completely dedicated to the artwork of Salvador Dalí. In fact, the artist himself is buried there. Click here to get a virtual tour: https://www.salvador-dali.org/en/museums/dali-theatre-museum-in-figueres/visita-virtual/

The Solomon R. Guggenheim Museum

The Solomon R. Guggenheim Museum: Welcome to the priceless pieces of artwork at New York’s Solomon R. Guggenheim Museum now online. Designed by Frank Lloyd Wright, this museum has a treasure exhibit of the works of Franz Marc, Piet Mondrian, Pablo Picasso and Jeff Koons. Click here to get more information on virtual tours and book your slot: https://www.guggenheim.org/group-visits

The National Gallery of Art

The National Gallery Of Art: You may be miles away from Washington DC but that won’t let you miss a chance to tour the National Gallery of Art. Founded in 1937, this museum, a storehouse of impressive antiques and art pieces, can now be accessed virtually online. You can also get hold of the audio and video recordings of the past lectures online. Take your virtual tour here: https://www.nga.gov/global-site-search-page.html?searchterm=virtual%20tour%20&category=Online%20Features&pageNumber=1&lastFacet=category

Take the virtual tour of these museums online, get enriched and enlightened and share your experience with us in the comments section. Have you been a museumgoer and a museology enthusiast? If you want to share your exciting experiences, write to us at connect@silvertalkies.com. We can help you share your happy tales by featuring them in our magazine.

Image Courtesy: Wikimedia Commons & Twitter

TINA, as the neoliberal economists’ phrase goes – There Is No Alternative — which they apply in their arguments for globalization and free markets; but I am co-opting it in my comments on age-related, capricious memories. Undeterred by the conductor’s hostility, I pulled out my jotter pad on another occasion to note down a phrase before it vanished – and someone jogged by elbow in the crowded bus, the pad fell from my hand and before I could retrieve it a gust of wind blew it out from under the driver’s seat and onto the road where a passing vehicle promptly ran over it. Some six pages of jottings got trashed, a fortnight’s work wiped out. And that was the end of my mnemonics…..

The now-defunct British satirical magazine Punch once carried an article on forgetfulness that I keep recalling. The writer suggested that thoughts were like stuff that we shove haphazardly into a cupboard drawer – when you want to retrieve a particular shirt, you pull out stuff from the drawer, only to find everything else (that old pair of jeans you had misplaced, an old belt you thought you had lost during a trip) except what you are looking for (which you finally locate, at the bottom of the drawer); thoughts are like that, they get lost in the drawers of the brain – sounds plausible, right?

Now, where was I? I got carried away, as usual. I tell you, growing old is no picnic. You begin to ramble, forget and …. What was I trying to say? Ah yes, fused bulb, this began with a fused bulb, now I must scurry and write it down before I forget what I wanted the phrase for…

So how do you spot fake news from this sea of information? Samrin Inayati, a Google certified trainer at FactShala, a news and information literacy programme tells us how.

Not everything is news: Not everything that looks like news online is actually news. In traditional media, raw information is published only when it is verified and cross checked from reliable sources by reporters and editors. However, in social media there is no verification, no gatekeeping or editors and one swipe is all it takes to publish. So everything on social media is not the real news

Think critically and analyse: People process information differently. We see things a lot differently than others even when staring at the same image. Analyse the information from different perspectives, compare it with similar situations, evaluate it critically, conclude objectively and then decide what to believe and do. If you get information that the World Health Organisation (WHO) has stated that drinking herbal tea can control Coronavirus, it is important for you to understand why WHO has said so, do some research and then believe and follow. Be a smart consumer of news and become responsible citizens.

Do not go with the flow blindly: You do not have to believe everything to fit in and feel accepted in a group. If you get a WhatsApp message from a group that states Covid-19 vaccine is harmful, do not accept it just because others in the group believe it. Question yourself, find relevant research and sources of information and then make an informed choice.

Identify your biases: We often tend to get bias, a tendency, inclination or prejudice towards something or someone. Beliefs and personal biases play a big role in deciding whether someone will believe or even reject a message and prevent us from questioning the authority, reveals a user study conducted by Google. We tend to believe in lies mostly because of confirmation bias that implies favouring information that confirms our existing beliefs.

Keep source amnesia in mind: Source amnesia means we remember information but we forget or remember incorrectly where it came from. When it aligns with our point of view we tend to believe it came from a credible source and when it does not align, we consider the source to be non-credible. This too could make us believe misinformation.

Understand reiteration, the illusory truth effect: We are more likely to believe things we hear repeatedly. But hearing something repeatedly does not mean that it is true.

Ask these key questions: Who’s behind the information? Is the sender a credible authority on the subject? What do other sources say?

Does the evidence shared corroborate the claim?

Check data and time: Remember to check the publication date as old articles are often recycled and republished to serve a political purpose.

Check comments: Go through the comments that may appear below the article or publications. Internet users at times provide backed-up arguments contradicting what has been written and provide links to more responsible articles with verified sources.

Beware of the red flags on WhatsApp: Look for single arrow and double arrow signs. The first indicates the post is not original and has been forwarded. You must investigate the post before believing it. The latter indicates it has been forwarded multiple times. Before forwarding again, you must check if you are circulating any misinformation.

GOOD TO KNOW

Social media adds to confirmation bias through filter bubbles. The artificial intelligence used in social media keeps a track of what we search online and shows up news, ads, videos, images similar and relevant to our searches, matching our interests.

Examples of bias-based misinformation

A map went viral claiming the crazy spread of Chinese nationals from Wuhan to spread Coronavirus globally. However, the map actually showed connectivity of flights at a point of time. Why was it shared indiscriminately? Because it supported the bias that China has spread Coronavirus globally. Due to a bias that consumption of non-veg is harmful for health and it can cause Coronavirus, a post claiming that consumption of broiler chicken was causing the spread of Covid-19 went viral.

How can you spot media bias?

• By the selection of events that they are covering
• By the stories that are being reported, stories that are important but being ignored
• What facts and info are present and what are missing
• Are they using the same source all the time?
• Are the same panelists appearing again and again
• Is there diversity in journalists and editors?
• Ownership of the news organisation

How do you protect your family from misinformation?

• Discuss with your family members about misinformation
• Stay informed about important realities/situations/news
• Have access to credible sources of information
• Develop a healthy media consumption habit
• Ways of source verification
• Know the various fact-checking websites: When you put a news link on a fact-checking website, you will know if the link is verified or not as fact checking websites would have done the verification already.

Some of these websites are:

Boomlive

AltNews

FactChecker

AFP Fact Check

BBC Reality Check

Vishvas News (Hindi)

PIB for government information

Google fact check explorer: This is a verified tool by Google that helps in photo verification. It is a search engine only for fact check stories. You can go here, put a few words of the forwarded message and click on the search icon and then you can find it. Put Covid Home remedy in it and see the results you get.

Google Reverse Image Search: You can upload an image or paste an image URL and it will show you whether the image is genuine or if it is morphed and photoshopped.

These tips can keep you on your toes enabling you to spot fake news and misinformation and make informed decisions.

Living the green way not only provides senior citizens a new purpose in their second innings but also brings a plethora of health benefits that one may not be able to imagine. Urban environments often lack access to green spaces due to the proliferation and density of buildings, and a significant number of urban elderly residents have been found to be more vulnerable to mental health issues such as stress and depression compared to the rural elderly population that is more prone to an eco-friendly, green and sustainable way of life, shows the latest study. Going green can encourage physical activity, social interaction and contact with nature reducing psychological stress. Here are some #gogreen ideas that you can try.

Craft a home garden: That’s one of the best ways to keep yourself engaged and close to nature. If you are able to, utilise the space at the front yard, backyard or even the rooftop or your balcony if you have one. Do some research, talk to experts, join a gardening club and adapt the sustainable ways of gardening like mulching, removing the invasive plant species, using homemade fertilisers as recommended by the National Wildlife Federation and grow plants by yourself. Seniors engaging in tilling soil and watering plants are more likely to embrace green living habits. Gardening acts as a low impact physical activity offering moderate aerobic exercise, increasing the production of happy hormones – serotonin and dopamine, decreasing the amount of cortisol – a stress hormone, regulating your mood, giving you quality Vitamin D and making your bone health and immunity stronger.

Want to know some of the valuable home gardening hacks? Join Silver Talkies Social Gardening Club which is exclusive for members of Silver Talkies Social. Not a member yet? Click here to know how to become one.

Eat organic: Nothing is better than having a plate of fresh and organic vegetables and fruits daily for older adults. With growing age, the immunity system grows feeble and processed foods could pose a danger to health. Also, veggies and fruits loaded with harmful chemicals and pesticides are not only threatening to health but also harm the environment. You can find out sources that grow organic vegetables and fruits or grow your own. All you need is the will to eat only organic and adapt #gogreen your way.

Organise a resident-initiated recycling program: If you live in a gated community or a senior living community, this could be a great exercise. Be updated with the latest recycling policies and share recycling tips that all residents can keep in kind. Avoid using products that cannot be recycled, make your own recycled coffee mugs and cans and use them. There are several organizations across cities that collect recyclable items and need volunteers to coordinate collections for them. It’s a great way to use time if you can spare and give back. Getting engaged in such recycling activities and creativity enhances your social engagement and keeps your mental health up to the mark.

Go for tools that would save energy and water: Get tech smart and replace your old light bulbs with energy-efficient and smart devices. Unplug all of your devices including toasters, toaster ovens and any small appliances when they are not being used. Choose high-efficiency showerheads and sink faucet aerators that can help prevent wasteful practices in washrooms and kitchens.

Get sustainable products: Make it a habit to use only sustainable products and reduce your carbon footprint. In return, get a healthy environment to live healthily. Reusable water bottles, paper straws, bamboo toothbrushes and hairbrushes, glass spray bottles, glass storage containers, bamboo dishcloths instead of paper towels, laminated bowl covers instead of plastic wraps, and silicone food bags for snacks and sandwiches are some of the daily things that you can encourage yourself to use for sustainable living and your own well-being.

Have you been leading a sustainable life already or working towards it? Let us know your ideas too and we will add them here. Post in the comments below or email us at connect@silvertalkies.com.

The trick is to pretend that you are looking for something else, not the keys, and promptly the keys surface. It’s a game you have to play, even with inanimate objects like keys and wallets that – believe me – have a mind of their own, and viciously try to upstage humans.

Next, I pretend I am looking for the CD, not the medical receipt. And promptly – you guessed it — I see the medical receipt under a notebook (where I had looked earlier and can swear it wasn’t there at that time). It’s like hide and seek. Harmless, even if exasperating at times.

And so it goes. Every time. Pretend you are looking for something else, and the thing you are really desperate to locate will be found. I have tried it again and again, and as I said, it works. Every time. Yesterday I could not find a blouse that I wanted to alter. I could not find it, even after I emptied out the whole pile of blouses from the cupboard shelf. So I decided I would stop looking for it (it even helps if you mutter to yourself, ‘I am going to stop looking for that wretched blouse’, to make your intentions doubly clear to that recalcitrant blouse) and began neatening the upper shelf where my saris were stacked. Need I say it? The truant blouse surfaced, hidden between the folds of two saris. Quickly I grabbed it before it could disappear again, and started opening out the seam to alter it.

Try it. There are always several items you have misplaced and are trying to find. Pretend you are hunting for one thing, and you will find the other. Now I must really go to look for my reading glasses, but will pretend that I am searching for my pen (I had left both on my bedside table last night –where could they have slinked away to, during the night?) You bet I will find the glasses first…..

Finding a rainbow is possible even in the midst of grief

Coping with Loss

“Older adults must be kept engaged in some kind of physical activities and must be kept active. Social engagement plays a vital role in coping. The person must be encouraged to have his or her own world of companions, hobbies and interests. Family support is important and companionship must be encouraged to give them a chance to share good memories, helping the person to get back to the normal track of life, making him or her more independent with an emphasis on autonomy. Most importantly, the person must be given adequate time, respect and space and the grief should not be generalised and the context of the grief should be understood in order to help the person overcome the grief. There is an evidence-based treatment, individualistic psychotherapy, cognitive behaviour therapy, grief therapy involving structured sessions that are immensely useful in coping with the bereavement,” says Dr Debanjan Banerjee, Psychiatrist at NIMHANS, Bengaluru.

A latest survey report has shown that about 25 percent of Indians would want a second innings post-retirement in a career they love and another 25 percent expressed their desire to start a business on their own once they retire. Not a surprise, given the changing concept of retirement and several people using their post-retirement years to explore different ventures and career options. Snehil Verma, the co-founder of Deeveo Beauty, a sustainable skincare brand, shares some valuable inputs on turning your passion into purpose and starting your own online business from home.  

How do you define a small online business?

A small online business is made up of your passion, creativity, hard work, and time management, aiming toward customer and seller satisfaction and slow and steady growth. Your business will fetch you happiness when you cook your passion with creativity and put in the effort to make a mark. You need to manage your time wisely and properly so that the business does not become a burden for you. You also have to make sure that your business gives both you and your customers a sense of satisfaction and grows slowly and steadily.

Why online?

Why do we focus on online business so much rather than opening a shop next to our house? Verma has an intelligent analysis about going online with your business as she showcases before you the strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, and threats (SWOT) of an online business.

Online business and its strength

• Helps you to save on multiple purposes. You do not have to bear additional charges for rent, water, electricity and that helps you reduce your product cost and draw in more customers.
• Can be managed from home
• Can be a fulfilling source of income
• Emergencies and crises like pandemic do not affect it much. It is a safe option as you don’t have to have direct contact with your customers and you can continue doing it from home.

Opportunities that it creates

• You can talk about it on multiple social media platforms and tap an infinite number of customers online. You just need to bring your product before them.
• You can make it more unique to draw in more and more customers. The more unique your brand is, the more you can become the fast mover and more scope you can create.

Online business and its weakness

• It is time-taking – you need to put in quite some effort.
• Requires constant multi-tasking – you are doing things all alone.
• Lacks resources that a standard business has – you need to invest your own money, time and resources.

Possible threats

• Multi-National Companies (MNCs)
• Well-established small businesses
• Dispute between partners

Processing your online business in a smarter way

The formula for making a small online business a hit, according to Verma, is UP BUILTER – understanding, planning, building, testing, and refining it.

Understanding your business: You can do it by thorough research, creating your own ideas, realizing and meeting the legal needs, having a keen knowledge on profitability, difficulty, and competition, and set your expectations out of it and that of the customers. Also, you will have to personalize your ideas.

Planning it: Chalk out your objectives, frame a structure, go for a dry run and check; build up your strategies, have your timeline and finance fixed and get prepared for product development.

Building it: Mark your target audience and strategize marketing, work on product placement on multiple platforms, focus on the photography and presentation of your product, and engage in regular interaction via stories, polls, posts, videos, and more to make some noise about your product and get feedback, promote and advertise for your product/service. Platforms like Instagram have great advertising features that can mark your customers and can show your ad specifically to them.

Testing it: It is essential to test and find out the customer preferences, analyze the demand for the product/service and focus more on that. Collect data and keep a record of whatever is happening in your business.

Refining it: Improvise business module, aesthetic, product design, packaging, time periods, and more, come to terms with what is working and what is not, and keep generating new ideas constantly. Some apps that may make your journey a cakewalk

• CANVA for making posts/marketing
• INSHOT for video editing
• TELYPORT/SHIPROCKET for delivery
• EXCEL/SHEETS for bookkeeping
• VYAPAR for bills and receipts
• SHOPMATIC for e-commerce services (website)

Tips on dealing with consumers

• Interact with followers
• Provide quick response to inquiries and be patient with their responses
• Go for swift order taking and assistance and always do a follow-up
• Keep the creativity flowing, give them something new
• Keep promises and deliver on time
• Provide seasonal offers, discounts, ask for subscriptions

Tips on social media marketing

• Raise awareness around your product/service and get people interested
• Focus on brand loyalty and get people convinced
• Build a community and get people engaged

Verma believes that living through pandemics like COVID-19 and sustaining an online business requires some hacks. “Acknowledging the pandemic, showing your methods of adaptation, keeping COVID-19 in mind while forming new ideas and marketing tactics can help your online business tackle the impact of the pandemic,” says Verma who recently conducted a workshop for Silver Talkies Social Members, guiding them towards a successful online business and encouraging them to become entrepreneurs in their second innings.

Want to join our online events? Follow our event page to stay updated.

Red: Red hibiscus flowers are widely found in Indian home gardens. Dry some of them until crisp and use a grinder to make a fine powder out of the petals. You can also use red sandalwood to get red dry colour. Add rice flour in equal quantities to increase the volume of the powder. For the wet red colour, boil peels of pomegranate in water.

Yellow: For bright yellow herbal gulal, blend turmeric powder with gram flour in a 1:2 ratio. Or you may try hand mixing 200gm arrowroot powder, 100gm haldi, 50gm marigold flowers, 20gm orange peel powder (finely powdered) and 20 drops of essential oil of lemon or sandalwood by gently rubbing them together. Your organic and fragrant yellow gulal will be ready in no time. For wet yellow colour, crush yellow marigold or yellow chrysanthemums and mix them with water.

Green: Green-coloured gulal could be obtained from henna or Mehendi powder. For wet green colour, spinach and coriander leaves are popular choices. All you need to do is make a paste using spinach or coriander leaves, mix that with water and play. Henna powder could also be mixed with water or oil for liquid green colour but it may leave a stain on the skin.

Magenta: For wet magenta colour, soak sliced beetroots in water, boil the mixture and leave it overnight. For a darker pinkish shade, you may dilute the concoction slightly more. Red onions could also be used for the same purpose. For dry powder, you may grind beetroot to make a paste and then dry it in sun. Mix the dried paste with besan and wheat flour and use.

Blue: For blue coloured gulal, you can use powdered blue hibiscus flower petals mixed with rice flour. For wet colours, mix crushed and dried jacaranda flowers with water and spray.

Why should you use organic home-made colours?

Organic colours protect the skin from acute nail fold inflammation, aggravation of pre-existing dermatoses, abrasion, discoloration, and contact dermatitis caused by synthetic Holi colours. Homemade colours prevent excessive hair fall and drying. Organic colours are easy on clothes and will disappear after a few washing, thereby saving you from the trouble of having stained clothes. Apart from these, they are eco-friendly and do not cause any harm to the environment.

Follow these tips, make your own colours and immerse yourself in the vibrant festivities with grandchildren and family.

On Republic Day every year, the PM’s address focuses on the revival of the ancient art forms of India which are gradually getting lost in the digital age. Veteran actor Arundhati Nag once told Silver Talkies that today’s parents and grandparents must make sure that the children get to know about India’s ancient art forms as these create lasting impressions in one’s life and will help them grow well.

“We are making a huge mistake by just going the Disney way when we have our own Pattachitra or Phad painting which will just disappear if we do not collect them. If people don’t buy a Phad painting or a Pichwai, they will become extinct. Each of these arts is infused with meaning and our next generation must be able to understand the meaning,” Nag highlighted. There’s a treasure trove in Indian art if you were only to look. Here’s a 72nd Republic Day special on some of India’s unique folk art forms.

Madhubani: Also known as Mithila art, Madhubani dates back 2500 years ago to the time of Ramayana and emerged from the Mithila region of Bihar. It portrays the grand wedding of Princess Sita, daughter of King Janaka to Prince Rama, the son of Dasrath, the king of Ayodhya. It is assumed that King Janak had entrusted an artist to capture the moments of his precious daughter’s wedding and that’s how Madhubani took its form. Through generations, Madhubani has been used mostly by women to create awareness on social issues like education and empowerment. It is painted using fingers, twigs, brushes, nib-pens and matchsticks and natural dyes and pigments.

Indian Miniature Paintings: The tradition of Indian miniature painting can be traced to the 9th-10th century though it truly came into its own in the Mughal period in the 16th century. Inspired by the Persian art styles, Indian miniature paintings boast of the intricate handmade details and unique illustrations of humans within a small frame. Men in turbans, women in traditional clothes with large eyes, a pointed nose and a slim waist are the signature style of miniature paintings from the Mughal era.

Phad: Originated in Rajasthan and painted on a canvas or cloth either 15 feet or 30 feet in length, Phad paintings are mainly scroll painting and depict the narratives of folk deities Pabuji or Devnarayan. These are traditionally painted using vegetable colours capturing the heroic tales of deities.

Warli: Another ancient Indian art form, Warli dates back to 2,500 BC and emerged from the Western Ghats. It’s a tribal art form using geometrical shapes – circles, triangles and squares to depict day-to-day life activities like fishing, hunting, festivals and dance. White shapes on dark backgrounds are the signature of this traditional art form.

Kalamkari: There are two varieties of this ancient Indian art form based on the places of their origin in Andhra Pradesh – Machilipatnam style based out of Machilipatnam and Srikalahasti based out of Chittoor. Its name is Persian derived from two words – Kalam meaning pen and Kari meaning craftsmanship indicating that the painting is done using a pen. It is widely seen on sarees depicting flowers, nature as well as the Indian Epics – the Mahabharata and the Ramayana.

Tanjore: A native of the Tanjore town in Tamil Nadu, this painting belongs to the period of Cholas – one of the longest-ruling dynasties in South Indian history. Gold foil and metallic colours are used extensively in this art form. A piece of wood is also used as a canvas to give a 3D effect.

Batik: In India, the roots of Batik run back to the 1st century AD, traditionally among the Khatri community in Gujarat. Its resurgence began after it was introduced as a part of the syllabus in Rabindranath Tagore’s Viswa-Bharati in Birbhum, West Bengal. This ancient art form includes three steps – waxing, dyeing and scraping where the wax is used to create designs on pre-defined areas on cotton and silk fabric. It is then dyed and then the wax is removed either by scraping or boiling the cloth to peel off the wax, resulting in a rich, colourful design.

Image Courtesy: Pinterest

Gujia or Goan neureos: A traditional Christmas special sweet snack from Goa, these are fluffy, crunchy pastry shells that are filled with the rich and appetising sweet mixture of coconut or khoya and dried fruits and nuts.

Kulkuls or sweet curls: Popular throughout India during Christmas time, especially in Goa and Mangalore, this is a variation of the Portuguese dish, filhoses enroladas. It takes hours and a lot of manual labour to roll these snacks out, then frying and sugar-coating them. In olden times and even now in traditional homes, Kulkul making is a family activity just before Christmas.

Coconut barfi or coconut fudge: This is a common Indian sweet dish and forms an integral part of several Indian celebrations, not just Christmas. Made of coconut and cardamom, it is sweet, fudgy and very delicious.

Marzipan shapes: Marzipan which is originally a paste made of almonds, sugar and egg whites is a traditional Christmas dish in India that gives you a chance to play with your creativity. It could be made in the shape of various fruits and flowers and coloured with edible food dye.

Guava cheese: Passed on from generation to generation in most Indian families during Christmas, guava cheese is best made with fresh guavas. It is a chewy fudge-like sweet that wins everyone’s heart.

Bebinca layered dessert: Once again from Goa, this is a layered pudding made of coconut milk, ghee, eggs, sugar and flour. Traditionally, the pudding has 16 layers although it can be tried with fewer layers. This is a time-consuming recipe as you have to cook each layer before adding the next.

Chocolate walnut fudge: A Christmas tradition across the world as well as in India, chocolate walnut fudge is a must-have for all chocolate and nut lovers.

Christmas Food Traditions Around The World

Now that we are aware of the traditional Christmas foods in India, let us take a look at traditional Christmas foods from across the world. If you are a foodie, give it a try and go international this Christmas from the safe comfort of your home.

Japan’s Christmas Fried Chicken

Crispy fried chicken is an essential part of the Christmas celebrations in Japan. In fact, about 3.6 million Japanese families eat Kentucky Fried Chicken on Christmas Eve and they often need to reserve their meal at KFC outlets two months in advance. The Christmas fried chicken comes with a Christmas cake and this combo is a must-have in all Japanese households.

Lithuania’s Kucios

Served on Christmas Eve, Kucios originally consists of nine dishes and takes about a week’s time to get prepared. The entire spread excludes meat, dairy and hot food with fish, bread and vegetables served in a tomato, mushroom or onion based sauce and cranberry pudding.

Israel’s Latkes

Latkes are fried potato pancakes cooked in oil and are an integral part of the Hanukkah tradition in Israel that goes back to the Middle Ages. Other traditional dishes that are enjoyed in Israel during Christmas are fried donuts and fritters.

Germany’s Christmas Goose

The German Christmas feast is traditionally focused on the Weihnachtsgans, the Christmas goose. A tradition dating back to the Middle Ages again, the goose is often stuffed with apples, chestnuts, onions, and prunes, then spiced with mugwort and marjoram and is served alongside red cabbage, dumplings, gravy and sauerkraut and finely cut, fermented raw cabbage.

United Kingdom’s Christmas Pudding

This dessert is a key Christmas tradition in England, Ireland and some parts of the US. Dry fruits and raisins are an important part of this pudding that is made of suet, egg, molasses and spices. Christmas pudding is set alight with brandy immediately before it is served.

Hungry already? It’s time to overload the feast table this Christmas!

Image Courtesy: Twitter & Pinterest

Usha Rajagopalan with her pets, Max & Tiffany/Image courtesy: Usha Rajagopalan

The autobiographical book, the prolific Rajagopalan’s eighth, is a tribute to her father, the man who instilled a lifelong love for conservation in her. It is aimed at creating that love in the reader’s heart too.

‘They (animals) came as weaklings or orphans whom we nursed back to health and surrendered to the Thiruvananthapuram Zoo. It broke our hearts to see these dear ones leave, but we derived strength from the fact that my father, Anna, as we called him, would get us another animal or bird before long. For in the call of duty, he had to travel to the remotest forests in the state of Kerala.’ Rajagopalan writes.

Her stories, laced with the touch of easy humour evident in much of her writing, make for fantastic reads, especially for a city-bred child like my son, who cannot believe Rajagopalan’s parents allowed her to keep a monkey as a pet. Named Kesavan, the antics of the black monkey as he learns to rip apart the fuse make for a chuckle-worthy chapter but also highlights the extent of dedication nurturing another living being takes. Like many of the pets, Kesavan’s impish behaviour gets too much for Manni, Rajagopalan’s harried mother. She held my real admiration through the book, considering the well-meaning pandemonium that surrounded her at home. Caught between the ever-eager children and her conservationist husband, Manni had to deal with several prospective pets whenever her husband was back from a forest tour – a baby elephant called Kuttan and for a very, very brief while – even an angry brown bear!

Usha and her siblings feeding deer at Neyyar Lake, Kerala/Image courtesy: Usha Rajagopalan

Enjoyed reading Gerald Durrell’s famous book ‘My family and Other Animals?’ Rajagopalan’s book will make a suitable companion for it on your bookshelf, its stories more relatable perhaps, as they are closer home. As Dr Lee Durell, his wife writes in the forward to this book:

What is more important than the popularity of this genre is what this genre of animal books reveal about human nature. It reveals an inescapable link between humans and animals and shows that humans are members of the animal kingdom, and our fellow creatures deserve our respect, admiration and love.

Rajagopalan, also well-known as one of the pioneers of citizen-led lake revival in Bengaluru, has wanted to write this book for several years. It began life earlier when she wrote a fortnightly column in The Deccan Herald called ‘Kookaburra Laughs’ about her childhood. ‘The Zoo in my Backyard’ includes some of those stories. Read it for a fascinating insight into a truly unusual childhood and the light-hearted yet valuable lessons in adopting, nurturing and letting go of what we love.

The Zoo In My Backyard is published by Manipal University Press. You can buy it here.

Cover image Silver Talkies

For the conference that I went to in Karachi, I produced an Indo-Pak “jugalbandi” (duet) with a Pakistani vocalist, for the inaugural session, choosing a poem with alternate lines in Bhojpuri and Persian. It went down so well that we were asked to repeat it for the closing ceremony on the last day. Our tabla accompanist was a Christian, the harmonium player was a Muslim, I was a Hindu and my vocalist-partner was a Muslim. Kya farak padtha hai? We made music together. Those who sing and play together, live in harmony, right?

Sure, there are narrow-minded bigots on both sides – as there are everywhere, in all countries and cultures – but they are a minority. The people are largely peace-loving.

We are like two cousins, with common grandparents, living in adjacent flats, but not on talking terms. But the cousins’ children love playing together and are great friends. The cousins frown on this friendship and even lock their doors sometimes, but the kids continue to be chums regardless. That is how it is between India and Pakistan. As a people, we are like those kids, fond of each other, eager for links and friendly ties and exchanges; if only the political differences could be unraveled, what could we not achieve, as neighbours!

There are a number of people-to-people friendship groups; we don’t even need visas (which are hard to get); we can in the meantime promote amity via virtual links and internet dialogues. As people, on both sides, we are not doing enough to bring democratic pressure on our leaders, to extend the hands of friendship. Time to sing more jugalbandis?

Cover image: Nazim Laghari on Unsplash

There has been a significant surge in viewership on OTT platforms over the last few months. Around 3 to 4 million new viewers have started watching Netflix, Amazon Prime, Hotstar, Alt Balaji and more as they remained at home. Urban seniors we spoke to have spent about two to six hours on a daily basis binge-watching Netflix, Amazon Prime shows during the lockdown and their choice comes as quite a surprise as Comedy, Crime and Thrillers have won the silver hearts. Here is a list of favourite shows among seniors that you may watch next or recommend an elderly dear one to watch.

Shows On Netflix You Must Watch

Our Planet: For nature lovers, this is a great inspiration. Falling under the genre of Science and Nature Documentaries, this series unravels our planet’s natural beauty and examines how climate change impacts all.

Edge Of The Universe: This three-episode long show will keep you all captured as leading astronomers reveal the latest discoveries about death-trap planets, asteroids, comets and other wonders of the cosmos.

Sherlock: This witty and suspenseful four-season series belongs to the Crime genre and is based on the breathtaking adventures of the world’s greatest known detective, Sherlock Holmes.

Stranger Things: In case you are a Sci-Fi and thriller addict, this one is binge-worthy. Spanning across three seasons it tells about a mystery involving secret experiments and terrifying supernatural forces.

The Comedy Line-up: This is a stand-up comedy show where a diverse group of upcoming comedians perform 15-minute sets and tickle your funny bone.

Shows On Amazon Prime That You Must Watch

Upload: If you have ever wondered about what happens after death, this funny series will give you a very different and unique version of heaven in the future. This heart-warming and quirky comedy will certainly keep you engaged for quite some time.

The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel: Do you enjoy comedy? Also, do you love reading 1950 classics and enjoy the characters? Then, this is a must-watch. Deep dive into the 50’s costumes, scenery and drama and run through the inspiring story of a 1950 American housewife’s journey to becoming a stand-up comedian. Sounds impressive? Watch it now.

Homecoming: Want to sip in some suspense and thrills? Watch Homecoming, a psychological thriller that tells you about a woman who helps military personnel get back to their normal civilian lives. Starring Julia Roberts, this series gives you two seasons that are uniquely different from each other.

Jack Ryan: For those craving for some adrenaline rush, Jack Ryan is the one. It is a spy-thriller filled with much action as Ryan, a former marine, uncovers a global terrorist spot as his first training assignment to be an analyst for the CIA.

Shows You Must Not Miss Out On Disney Plus Hotstar

Old is always gold and Hotstar brings back a host of 90s shows that you would love to watch again.

Sarabhai vs Sarabhai: Who can forget the famous Sarabhai family from this popular sitcom? A mother-in-law from a uber-wealthy family, a daughter-in-law with quintessential middle-class bargaining power, a father-in-law who loves trolling his son and a brother-in-law whose poetic skills are nothing but a nuisance, the Sarabhai family can bring you the perfect dose of happiness during grumpy times.

Malgudi Days: Taking you back to the Doordarshan days, Malgudi Days offers you a great chance of reminiscence. Based on RK Narayan’s story, Malgudi Days tells you tales of day to day lives of people in a fictional, sleepy town in South India.

Khichdi: Remember the Parekhs who always managed to find themselves in hilarious situations? Watch this award-winning series and go back to the happy old days of joint family.

Twin Peaks: If you love watching horror and thriller genres, this old and popular American drama that tells the story of FBI agent Dale Cooper who travels to Twin Peaks for investigating the murder of a high school girl is a great watch. However, this show is not recommended for those with weak nerves.

The Sopranos: Here’s a great deal for crime lovers. The Sopranos is a very popular crime drama series on a leading American-Italian mafia member who tries to strike a balance between his criminal and family life.

Entertaining Shows on Alt Balaji That You Musn’t Miss

Bose: Dead or Alive – This is a period drama and biopic of Indian freedom fighter, Netaji Subhash Chandra Bose featuring the acclaimed actor, Rajkumar Rao in the lead role as Netaji. This is certainly a binge-watch and will take you back to the pre-Independence days.

Mission Over Mars: This web series revolves around four strong and independent women who do not accept defeat easily. Based on an interesting plotline, the series talks about the space expeditions of India.

How Much Do You Pay To Subscribe?

Netflix Subscription Plan: The basic subscription plan for Netflix amounts to INR 499 per month, thereby allowing 1 screen at a time. The standard Netflix subscription plan costs INR 649 per month, allowing 2 screens at a time. The Netflix Premium plan costs INR 799, allowing 4 screens at a time. To enable you to watch Netflix on your mobile phones, it has now come up with a mobile-only plan which costs INR 199 for a month for 1 mobile screen.

Amazon Prime Subscription Plan: The Amazon Prime cost per month is INR 129 and the yearly subscription price is INR 999.

Disney Plus Hotstar Subscription Plan: The Hotstar subscription offers two packages—the Hotstar Premium package and the Hotstar VIP package. The monthly charges for the Premium package are INR 299, while the annual charge for the same is INR 1499. The Hotstar yearly subscription charge for the VIP plan is INR 399.

Alt Balaji Subscription Plan: Alt Balaji subscription offers quarterly and yearly plans. Alt Balaji monthly subscription at the rate of INR 34 amounts to INR 100 for 3 months in the quarterly plan. The annual Alt Balaji subscription price is INR 300.

Feel the thrill, laugh out loud, enjoy the drama, learn some more science and history with these platforms and make the best use of your social distancing times.

Image Courtesy: Pinterest

Instead of humans, I have thoughts for companions. Ruminate. Relive old memories. Some painful, doubtless, but I can push them aside and focus on the pleasant ones, recall jokes and repartees, from the past, and smile over them to myself. A friend introduced me to Sudoku, and the daily puzzle in the newspaper helps pass a few moments as I fill in the numbers. A crossword, perhaps. Then back to watching TV, surfing the channels in search of diversion. Avoid the news, turn to national geographic, and watch the antics of penguins waddling their way around. I don’t even need sound. The visuals suffice. But when the cameras focus on a pride of fierce lions chasing and tearing into a hapless zebra and feasting on its flesh, it is time to switch over to look for something more pleasant.

Having a laptop helps pass the time – watching cute animals’ antics on Youtube, for harmless diversion, even if I don’t understand some of the fancier programmes that the internet makes available – but the internet does not always work, and technicians do not bother to come over to troubleshoot, citing the lockdown as an excuse. Besides, sitting with a laptop is also mostly a lonely pastime.

And so the day slips away. And tomorrow is another day. 

I’m going to talk about a slightly different quest that my friend Buvana and I are on. There are 1,56,600 post offices in India, of which two hundred post offices have special post cancellation marks allocated to them. A cancellation mark serves two basic purposes:

a. It defaces the stamp so that it can’t be re-used, and

b. it mentions the date and place at which the letter was ‘booked’, that is, the post office at which it began its journey.

In these two hundred post offices, the post-cancellation mark has another purpose, in addition to these two. It has a pictorial representation of an important landmark of the area. For example, if you visit the Agra post office and ask for the pictorial cancellation, you’ll get a picture of the Taj Mahal.

Karnataka has thirty-seven post offices with pictorial cancellations. It was my father, Mr. Arun Bhatia, who got me interested in seeking these out. When he visited Bandipur to photograph wildlife, he made a special detour to the post office to get me the ‘paw-print’ mark from the post office there. As Bandipur is a tiger reserve and national park, the ‘paw-print’ depicts what can be found there – tigers. A visit to the Philatelic Bureau at the GPO in Bangalore yielded a beautiful picture of the Vidhana Soudha, lending grace to the envelope we mailed out. Buvana and I then made a list of the post offices we wanted to visit and planned our trips. Our first one was to Nandi Hills. We had a climb up the hill, by foot and by buggy, before we reached the tiny, dimly-lit post office with a young clerk who knew about the post-mark depicting the ‘Nandi Bull’ and proudly showed us a framed photo of it.

However, it was his third day on the job and he was anxious to perform well, so he had detailed phone conversations with his seniors about the number of stamps to be affixed on each letter before stamping our letters for us. Our letters now had Nandi, with the date of our visit, across our stamp, to commemorate our visit to this famous temple region.

Our next trip was to Mysore. The clerks at the post office were exceedingly helpful, and we obtained the ‘elephant with howdah’ postmark within minutes. This is the elephant that gets decorated during the famous Duserah festival and is featured on the post-mark. Since we had made such good time, we proceeded to Chamundi Hills – and reached just as the clerk was downing the shutter for his lunch break. Catching sight of us running up, waving our letters, he smiled, opened the post office and proudly gave us the ‘Mahisasura’ stamp on our letters. The famous larger-than-life statue looks nice and compact as a post-cancellation!

In triumph, we planned an outing the following month to Srirangapatna. The post-mark here shows Tipu’s sword and helmet. We went there on Feb 25 – which means the date showed as 25-02-2020. The clerk took a long time to assemble this date, as he needed the digit ‘2’ four times on the stamp and had to search for it in his box of digits! He was extremely patient and did this work for us.

While one clerk was working on the date, another began to chat with us and shared his knowledge of philately and stamps. Being on the verge of retirement, he spoke of stamp released many years ago, which we remembered seeing as children. When he understood our quest, he explained the location of the Kokrebellur post office – and even telephoned the lady there, to inform her that we were on our way.

Kokrebellur is a lovely village famous for nesting painted storks and pelicans.

The villagers there believe that these birds are part of their family and do not disturb them. The postal cancellation shows a beautiful pelican in flight. I was anxious to obtain this post-mark and glad to find the post office open when we reached after some searching. The lady clerk told us that her working hours were actually over, she had waited for us because of the phone call from her colleague at Srirangapatna! She carefully stamped a stack of letters and postcards for us and advised us not to use glossy postcards as the ink does not catch on well on these and maybe rubbed off.

As the helpful lady had missed her transport back home, we gave her a lift to the main road in our cab. We stopped to photograph the nesting birds on the way, and she was happy to guide us as to where they could be found.

In this age of email and impersonal communication, Buvana and I have been on a quest for post-marks on snail mail and come across cheerfully helpful personnel. We are looking forward to more visits to special post offices once the pandemic subsides!

— By Sonali Bhatia 

If you are a Netflix subscriber, you may have come across The Social Dilemma, a documentary by Jeff Orlowski that has been much talked about recently. The biggest revelation it makes — though not exactly new if you have been following the Cambridge Analytica scandal or watched The Great Hack — is how well thought out, planned and engineered our addiction to social media is. So if you have been googling ‘best colours for living room walls’ and suddenly start seeing ads for wall paints all over your Facebook newsfeed or similar google ads on websites you visit, it isn’t a cute coincidence but a carefully crafted strategy. Essentially, all the Big Tech companies like Facebook and Google work by manipulating users, their behaviour and their minds.

If you’re not paying for the product, then you are the product

Nowhere is this statement more true than on social media. Yes signing up on FB, Instagram, Gmail, Youtube, Twitter and elsewhere is free, so you may be wondering what’s sneaky about it. The content that appears available for free is actually being paid for by the advertisers (one of the reasons why you can’t do Skip Video on YouTube instantly). They pay Big Tech companies for the attention of users which inevitably leads to us spending money and benefitting the advertisers. The documentary also tells us how algorithms are manipulating our minds.

Sounds scary? Are you ready to hit the deactivate button on Facebook?

We aren’t asking you to. For many of us, Social Media is also a space to connect, bond and work. So the solution isn’t deleting or moving out of Social Media as these platforms have a good side too. The idea is to empower yourself with information and use it in a sensible way. A few suggestions we collated from the documentary:

Question everything you read online

Just because it’s on the internet, doesn’t mean it’s true. FACT CHECK. FACT CHECK. FACT CHECK. You can find more on this here. 

Use Social Media carefully

Every action of ours on Social Media is monitored and helps Big Tech algorithms stay informed about us to serve us content that is guaranteed to keep us engaged. Liking way too many political websites? Follow innumerable cooking videos? Well turns out over following is not always a good thing as it can make our Social Media timeline an echo chamber, leading to a very lopsided view of the world and feeding us the same kind of information us the same thing over and over. Solution? Don’t start hitting the like button on FB and Twitter with a vengeance. Or following everything you spot on Instagram. By doing that, you’re playing into the algorithm’s hands.

Sanitize your feed

Unfriend, unlike and unfollow

When was the last time you looked at everything you like and follow on social media? Or trimmed your friends’ list? Take a good look, declutter and sanitize your feed. Unfollow pages that you do not connect with and friends you don’t interact with. The more the clutter, the more the information. Remember that information we receive across the Internet has increased multiple times but your brain’s capacity to process that information remains the same. Give your brain some space and do some housekeeping!

Stop all social media notifications on your phone 

It is not only irritating, but it is also a clever way of keeping you engaged and addicted. You don’t really need to know the moment someone presses the like button on your latest post about the Dahlias growing on your balcony, do you?

Don’t scroll away

On a similar note, stop the aimless scrolling. In recent times, with the Covid-19 pandemic, there’s a new term for it?-?doom-scrolling, which is scrolling down to see one unpleasant news after the other. We have all done this and we know how mentally exhausting it can be. It is also strangely, something that is very hard to stop!

Avoid suggestions. Find what you want to like and follow on your own

Reclaim your tech space 

Don’t let algorithms decide what you need to see. The next time you watch something on YouTube and then see suggestions of videos you may like, give it a miss. Run your own search or do your own selection. The same goes for pages you like on Instagram or Facebook. Even in the teeniest bit, this gives you more control over your Social Media feed. As the documentary says, in order to gain control of the kind of content we are exposed to, we need to choose it ourselves. And that’s done by avoiding suggestions.

Avoid Social Media on your phone

If you are on multiple social media apps, at least delete some if not all, from your phone. Or if you continue keeping them, avoid checking your phone first thing in the morning or last thing at night and most importantly, stop the notifications.

The Social Dilemma is streaming on Netflix

Want to learn how to use the Internet in a safe and secure way? Join Silver Talkies Presents ‘Easy Tech Classes For Seniors.’ Details of the upcoming class here. For more info on future classes, email us on connect@silvertalkies.com

Featured image courtesy: Pixabay

A few easy steps to detect fake news on WhatsApp

Do a gut check: This is the most important and simplest thing to do. How many of us really put our heart and mind to understand if the news is logical before we forward it? Instead of blindly forwarding a chunk of information, first analyse whether the news is rational and seems right and practical. Check if the news has been published by multiple major media houses in the same format. If not, it is definitely fake.

Fact Check on Google: How about checking whether an advisory on WhatsApp is fake or real? You may get confused and a gut check may not help in such cases. The best thing to do here is to do a simple Google search. Just put on the keywords of an article on Google, type ‘fact check’ before the keywords and check if there are any articles from a valid source covered by any major media house. Google now has a dedicated team who are into fact-checking. The moment you put the word ‘fact check’ you will actually get a list of articles that will help you debunk fake news. Go for what the majority of articles have to say.

Look at the URL (website link or address) closely: It is important to check the URLs of news websites where an article gets published. Often fake news writers make fake websites with fake URLs that appear similar to the original URLs of reputed publication houses. Common people often tend to overlook the discrepancies and start believing a piece of fake news to be real. Hence, it is important to be cautious about the URLs and in case you come across any inconsistency including a mis-spelling or a spinoff of other news sites, please do a simple Google search and recheck the original URL to find out if a news link on WhatsApp is fake or real.

Be aware of certain tools that can help you identify whether a website is fake or real: You may make use of the website Whois.com to find out who the owner of a website is. This tool helps you to identify the owner of any website you pick. It will give you the ownership details of a website. Thus, you will be able to easily point out which website is fake and which is real by using this tool.

Seek the help of fact-checking websites and fact-checking numbers: You may go to fact-checking websites the purpose of which is to debunk fake news. So, you will know what fake news is like and you can point out fake news on WhatsApp easily. Also, on WhatsApp, there are fact-checking numbers. You may forward a piece of news to these numbers and they respond if the news is fake or real within 24 hours.

Here’s a list of fact-checking websites 

Boomlive

AltNews

India Today

The Logical Indian

FactChecker

Here are some fact-checking numbers

Alt News: 9825255790

Boom: 7700906111 / 7700906588

Digit Eye: 9632830256

Fact Crescendo – Hindi: 9049053770

Fact Crescendo- Malayalam: 9049046809

Fact Crescendo – Marathi: 9049043487

Factly: 9603132132

India Today: 7370007000

Newschecker: 9999499044

Newsmobile: 8826800707

Understand what is a frequently forwarded message on WhatsApp: WhatsApp tells you whether a message has been forwarded and frequently forwarded or not. If you check the top left corner of a message on WhatsApp, you will notice a single arrow in case a message is forwarded and a double arrow in case it is frequently forwarded. Keep an eye on such frequently forwarded messages with double arrow marks as they may be fake. WhatsApp keeps a count on the chats and it starts marking a message if it is frequently forwarded which is most likely to be false.

Match the image with the caption: That’s another hack to point out if the news is fake or real. In case the image captions or the story content does not correspond with the image, then it’s definitely fake news.

Be watchful of articles which are wishy-washy about the date, time and place: A news report always mentions the date, time and place of the incident covered, be it in the format of a video or a story. In case you do not find these, understand it is fake. Any video can be tweaked and turned into fake news. You can go to YouTube and do a keyword search. You will be able to find out if it’s an old video and why and when was it actually created.

We believe that it is an individual’s accountability to be aware of fake news and its adverse impact. These steps can help one to prevent falling for fake news and making it viral.

Anoosha Sehgal, 15, founder of Stay Connected 2020

Meet Anoosha Sehgal, 15, a student of Standard XI from Mumbai, the founder of Stay Connected 2020. What is Stay Connected 2020? It is a platform that offers free live weekly webinars on breathing exercises, immunity-enhancing nutrition, Diabetes management, skincare and more. The platform also conducts interactive entertainment sessions of Antakshari, hair and make-up tutorials. Sehgal partnered with professionals across fields to help her with these sessions to keep seniors socially connected, especially during the self-isolation phase of the pandemic-induced lockdown.

What made Sehgal start this initiative? “The idea to start this initiative came to me after I had a call with my grandparents one day. My maternal grandparents live in a small apartment in New York and the lockdown phase has become very suffocating for them. My nani told me how she was getting extremely bored and anxious sitting behind the locked doors and doing nothing and expressed her willingness to do some drawing and practice yoga. My dadi too is a wonderful singer and wanted to sing with her friends again. That’s how I thought of starting webinars to keep them engaged during the lockdown,” says Sehgal.

The best takeaway for Sehgal has been the immense encouragement that she gets from the senior citizens who participate in her webinars. Sehgal has also started a fundraiser for Project Mumbai to support their effort towards senior citizens like delivering essentials and freshly cooked meals at the doorstep and run a free helpline for their mental wellbeing.

This 17-year-old is committed to making seniors tech-savvy

Aarya Jaipuria, 17, founder of AskHelpie

Every time Aarya Jaipuria, 17, a high school student from Bangalore would visit his grandmother during summer vacations, she would seek help from him on all the nitty-gritty of her smartphone. “She would have things lined up for me as if a mechanic had come home. Helping her with her tasks, as mundane as they may seem, was one the highlights of my trip. However, she would perpetually forget what I had taught her previously. So, I decided to make small video tutorials and sent them to her so she could keep referencing them if she needed help. I then wondered if there were more people like her, who didn’t have someone like me to help them. That’s when the idea of AskHelpie was born,” says Jaipuria.

AskHelpie (askhelpie.com) is a platform that helps senior citizens and other technologically challenged people interact with technology around them. It allows seniors to find how-to videos for everyday tasks, be it sending a picture on WhatsApp or placing an order on Amazon. Seniors can also reach out to him with a specific issue that they are facing with just a click on his website and get it sorted.

For Jaipuria, the best reward happens to be the reaction on the faces of his senior students when they learn something new. “Intergenerational bonding is and always has been something very special. We as teenagers and young adults can learn a lot from seniors. It gives us a different perspective to the world, one that we don’t have. We hear stories from their lives and experiences, and can view the world in a way we would never have before. In return we can teach them things that they may not be too well versed with. Throughout my journey, I have cherished every interaction with senior citizens,” he says.

This 23-year-old jumped in to help seniors with doorstep delivery of essentials during the lockdown

Sai Keshav, 23, tied up with Silver Talkies’ Covid-19 Volunteering Initiative to help seniors during the lockdown

Who says today’s youth is too busy to stand by seniors? When the nation-wide lockdown due to Covid-19 outbreak was announced all of a sudden making it inconvenient for senior citizens to fetch groceries and medicines, Sai Keshav, 23, who works in Bangalore immediately stepped in to help. He tied up with Silver Talkies’ Covid-19 volunteering initiative, did not bother about the Covid scare and readily extended a helping hand to deliver essentials at the doorstep of senior citizens, putting his own life at risk.

“Initially, when the whole lockdown had just commenced, it became very clear that seniors were susceptible to contracting the virus and were in danger. It became the need of the hour for senior citizens to stay home, so all their essentials would have to be delivered to them, especially those living alone. I came up with the idea of doing something to help seniors get their essentials delivered at home. It was my primary and middle school class teacher, Shobha, who put me in touch with Silver Talkies to actually execute the idea. Shobha is an uber-cool person who inspires me in several ways and it is because of her that a small idea of supporting seniors during the tough times materialised,” says Keshav.

Does intergenerational bonding come easy to younger people like Keshav? “Intergenerational bonding is something that is definitely not easy, especially for those who are in their twenties and sixties. But as I got into this, I realised there are a lot of things in common even with that age gap. At the end of the day, we are all humans and we should be kind to one another. Seniors have a lot of great stories to tell and are indeed filled with wisdom, and intergenerational bonding goes a long way for the individuals involved as they reap each other’s benefits – exchange of wisdom and life lessons for creative new-age thoughts,” he says.

It is indeed heartwarming to find youngsters getting inspired by the idea of intergenerational bonding and doing kind and creative tasks to make the world a better place for elders.

16-year-old tech whiz Siddhant Sinha from Gurgaon who helped Sundararajan in creating the website

How did you collaborate with your teenage partner who created the website where you could upload your worksheets?

When I was discussing my project to a friend of mine, I told her that I was just doing it aimlessly not knowing what to do with the worksheets once they were ready. She suggested her friend’s name to help me build a website where I could upload my sheets. The friend, in turn, entrusted the responsibility to her son Siddant Sinha who is in Std XII now, studying in The Heritage International School, Gurgaon, and is learning the job as a hobby. Siddhant did a very sincere, good job of creating the website. The next question was, ”Now what?” My friends suggested that I price the worksheet as Rs. 10 per sheet and the whole lot would be Rs. 1000. Suddenly it dawned upon me that I should donate the money to the PM CARES FUND for COVID patients since I did not have the need for that money but my country did as it is struggling with the pandemic crisis.

How has working with someone from another generation worked out for you and do you wish people should collaborate more across ages?

I have had an excellent rapport with the younger generation. In fact, they inspire me to work and I enjoy mentoring them too. People should really collaborate with all age groups. That is the secret of remaining mentally young forever.

What kind of response did your website get?

The response to my website has been overwhelming. Since I have thousands of students across the globe, they were thrilled about the idea and about my intentions. Those who have kids of the relevant age group bought the sheets and donated liberally. Friends and ex-colleagues of mine appreciated this venture as well. Unfortunately, people have already been donating generously in many other ways for the cause. For me to expect more in terms of number was not fair. However, those who felt that children will be usefully kept occupied during the lockdown at home did buy them. My own family members and close friends have donated liberally. A few children’s parents have been giving feedback that they are enjoying it. In fact, some parents are themselves enjoying it.

How do you stay active and engaged?

For the last 3 years, I have been working closely with a corporation school in Chennai, doing Teacher training in Maths and also conducting workshops for children of the underprivileged communities. At the moment I am busy developing material to do online workshops for teachers on ZOOM. However, as I said earlier, I always like to do things differently. My focus will not be on content. It will be on certain skills that teachers should develop in pedagogy. I am very interested in cooking and trying out new healthy recipes. I am also interested in writing blogs. I love music and it keeps me sane and peaceful.

You can access the worksheets at https://www.mathfundsindia.com/

The guideline that seniors can follow to report elder abuse

It is important to provide older adults and those who care for them with the knowledge of what they are required to do in order to report abuse that they face. Just being aware of The Maintenance and Welfare of Parents and Senior Citizens Act, 2007 is not enough. Here are some steps that a senior citizen can follow to report abuse in any form.

Report it to the jurisdictional police station: The very first step is to make the jurisdictional police aware of the abuse. A senior facing abuse has to go to the police station and file a written complaint. Those who cannot write are required to verbally inform it to the station house officers who can pen it down for them and get their thumb impression on the piece of paper where the complaint has been written. Oral complaints are not adequate to take action as it can lead to confusion in the future.

File a First Investigation Report (FIR) in case of an admissible offence, assault or an injury: In case a senior is hurt and reports an admissible offence, an assault or an injury to the police station, the cops must register an FIR and investigate the complaint and find out whether the report is genuine and gauge its intensity.

Obtain a wound certificate from the government hospital: Once the cops find out the truth of what has happened after the investigation and the complaint appears to be genuine, the senior has to be taken to a government hospital for medical examination by the cops. Following the examination, the abused senior citizen will be provided with a wound certificate on the basis of which, the cops will file a charge-sheet against the accused. The case will thereby go on to the magistrate court or others and the legal discourse will be followed.

Seek help from the helplines: The seniors may also make use of the Elders Helpline available in their respective cities and seek help from the coordinators available there and file a petition to report an abuse. The counsellors available at the helpline first listen to the case and find out if they are genuine. Once found to be true, a written complaint is registered by the Helpline and a notice is sent to the perpetrator through the police. Following this, the Helpline tries and creates a platform of dialogue between the two parties and tries to resolve the dispute amicably. For property-related abuse, the legal experts available at the helpline advise them towards a settlement.

Here are some helpline numbers:

Click here to read about the government advisory issued for the protection of senior citizens above 60 years from Coronavirus.

Using the mask right

. Do not touch the front part or the back part.

. Hold it on the sides.

. Cover the three things – nose, mouth and chin.

. While removing, do not touch the back part and the front part.

. A single layer surgical mask or a cloth mask all can be effective provided one does not touch the front and the back part of it.

Basic respiratory hygiene

. Cover your mouth and face with a tissue paper when you cough and put it in the bin.

. In case you do not have anything to cover your mouth and face, cough into your elbow and make sure that both your nose and mouth are covered by your elbow.

Effective health hygiene

. Every time you go outside and come back, make sure you wash your hands and legs, leave your footwear outside and change clothes.

. Having your own set of towels, own set of soaps and plates and glass is a good habit of personal hygiene.

. It is important to look at our medical issues. At present, the entire focus is on Covid-19 and it is easy to forget other general medical conditions like hypertension, diabetes, cardiac problems that many seniors suffer from. This simple checklist will help you prevent neglecting your other medical problems and keep them in control.

List your medical conditions

List out your medications

List out your allergies

List out your lab/investigation reports

Reach out to your personal doctor

Effective nutrition

. Three things to be kept in mind are you need to have the right time to eat, the right food to eat and in the right quantity.

. It is essential to have a balanced diet with ten right amounts of proteins, carbohydrates and fats (one-third of each of them) and consume enough quantities of fresh fruits and vegetables.

Basic home exercises

Effective mental health habits

Six ways to keep your brain sound are:

. Hear good, smell good, eat good, think good, feel good and see good.

. Make it a habit to listen to music that suits you

. Smell something good, be it a perfume or incense sticks that can improve your state of mind.

. Meditate and focus on something positive and think good.

. Wear a good dress, take a proper shower and shave and feel good. Watch your favourite movies, serials, chant and feel good.

These can ensure your mental balance is maintained.

Tips on social habits

Social habits are important in terms of managing life after the lockdown is lifted.

. Have a structured time table and avoid doing daily activities haphazardly

. Maintain physical distance

. Delegate and seek support. It is important to realise that we cannot do everything all by ourselves and delegate responsibilities and seek support.

Are hospital visits safe now?

There are government guidelines in terms of the services that the hospital can provide and they cannot. Tele Consultancy and video consultancy is the best way for a check-up now. In case a physical examination is required, you can physically visit them.

Protecting yourself from asymptomatic carriers

If we follow the basic personal, hand, respiratory and health hygienes, we can protect ourselves from carriers.

Domestic help guidelines

If each and every one of us including the domestic help and others helping us out can maintain personal, hand and respiratory hygiene, we all can be on safe grounds. However, the government has put up guidelines regarding this as well.

The guidelines for domestic help vary from state to state and depend on the approval of resident welfare associations (RWAs). Click here to know the BBMP advisory for apartment and resident groups.

Ground-rule for groceries and frequently touched surfaces

Follow your hand hygiene and cough hygiene and do not touch your nose, eyes and mouth, that will go a long way in terms of safely handling groceries. Frequently touched surfaces like your glasses, mobile and desk need to be cleaned on a daily basis with the hand sanitiser. As long as these basic hygienes are maintained, you will be safe. If you are driving make sure that the car is sanitised. It is important that the seats, steering wheel, the gears, the handles of the car are sanitised on a regular basis.

Dentist visits

Dental services are shut for obvious reasons as per the government guidelines. For any kind of emergency, you will have to go to a hospital.

How long will seniors have to stay at home even after the lockdown lifts?

Once the lockdown is lifted, personal hygiene, hand hygiene and social distancing have to be maintained when one steps out. At present, it is better to seek support from the younger ones and stay at home as per the government guidelines.

Fruit safety

Peelable fruits are much safer. For fruits that are non-peelable, soak it in warm water with some salt and go for a second wash.

Is footwear a source of transmission?

It will be good to have a separate set of footwear when you go out after the lockdown is lifted and leave it outside. As far as possible, use footwear that is easily washable and can be rinsed like Crocs.

Should seniors above 65 avoid travel even after travel restrictions are lifted?

Once these travel restrictions are lifted, please travel only if it is mandatory and avoid recreational travel in the immediate future. While going out for mandatory travel, follow the hygiene measures.

The importance of sleep to stay healthy

From a medical perspective, a minimum of 8 to 9 hours of sleep is required. With age, the duration of sleep comes down. Even if you get 5 to 6 hours of sleep, it is good enough. In case you get a nap at noon, it is an icing on the cake. Ensure proper sleep hygiene is maintained. Sleep at the right time, get your bedspread changed regularly, have a dim bed lamp but avoid bright light, do not take caffeine after 4 pm and avoid screen time before a couple of hours of going to sleep.

Are newspapers safe?

If you cannot get out of the habit of reading newspapers, just do not forget to maintain your hand hygiene and do not touch your eyes, nose and mouth while reading.

Importance of Vitamin C

Yes, Vitamin C is highly recommendable. Fruits rich in Vitamin C like orange, amla, etc can enhance immunity and is therefore good to be included in the diet.

How does Covid-19 spread?

Covid-19 spread through droplets when you sneeze and cough. There are reports that say it is airborne as well.

Ramaswamy Thata; Photo courtesy: Geetha Chandrasekharan

Ramaswamy Thata, Subhadra’s grandfather and Rajammal’s father-in-law didn’t stop at just educating his own daughter-in-law. He visited every house in his neighbourhood in Chennai that had a young widow brought on by the epidemic, asking them to educate her. It led to many young widows being educated, including one who went on to become Subhadra and her sister Margatham’s headmistress in school!

As for Rajammal, she eventually went on to become a doctor and was one of the earliest batches of women to graduate from the Madras Medical College (they received an LMS- a licentiate in medicine and surgery) around 1926/27, though the date isn’t verified. Ramaswamy did not have much money to educate her but he ensured she was enrolled in a widow’s scholarship program so that her education could go on unhindered. She eventually went on to practice medicine in Gulbarga, staying in touch with the family that educated her, all her life.

Both Ramaswamy and his wife were ahead of their times in their thinking says Geetha’s mother Maragatham, 86.

“I did not know it was possible, else I would have got Rajammal married again,” Margatham recalls her grandmother saying.

The ongoing conversation around COVID 19 made Jamuna Ramakrishna, 60, recall that her father had lived through a pandemic and his family had quarantined themselves too! “My father was a kid – five or six years old – at the time of the Spanish flu. He used to talk about it sometimes. His strongest memory was that his family relocated for the duration. At the time, my grandfather was working in the Vaccine Institute in Bangalore. The institute was trying to develop a TB vaccine and was in the outskirts of the city in those days and therefore considered safe. My grandfather asked permission for the family to move into the grounds of the Institute and that was granted.”

With no medicine in sight, people were advised to isolate back then too.

The Times of India wrote: “To avoid an attack one should keep away from all places where there are overcrowding and the consequent risk of infection such as fairs, festivals, theatres, schools, public lecture halls, cinemas, entertainment parties, crowded railway carriages etc.”

“Above all,” The Times of India added, “do not worry too much about the disease,” says an article in The BBC which quotes the paper’s reportage back then.

They say the more things change, the more they remain the same.

We couldn’t find a better example than in Usha Prasad’s anecdote. Immunity boosters are much in demand during COVID-19 as a precaution. Even a century ago it wasn’t much different. Usha Prasad, a member of Nightingale’s Elders’ Enrichment Centre in Bangalore had this to say:

“My husband Prasad’s grandfather, B.V. Pundit, was the founder/proprietor of Sadvaidyasala, a known name in Ayurveda at Nanjangud and at that time the medicine, Srikara Kasturi pills was his proprietary medicine. The medicine was of immense demand during the Spanish Flu of 1918, as it helped people stay healthy.”

This has been recorded by one of BV Pandit’s grandsons, C Sitaram, a journalist. Usha says the Kasturi pills have been recommended by the Ministry of Ayush as an immunity booster during this time around as well!

Have you heard anything about the Spanish Flu of 1918 in your family lore? Was there a story of positive change or any anecdote that stood out? Write to us and let us know on connect@silvertalkies.com. We will be happy to add your story here.

While this was a dose of history, Silver Talkies is working hard to bring you updated information on the Coronavirus pandemic. To know about testing centres, support groups for seniors, lockdown essentials and precautions you must take, read our story series here: The Coronavirus Updates

Feature image courtesy: Wikimedia Commons

. You can roll up vegetables in brown paper and further roll up the brown paper veggie roll in a big and thick plastic cover (like that of the wheat flour (atta) cover we get from the market) and store them in the refrigerator. No other plastic covers can keep the veggies fresh for long. Also, remember to keep only one veggie in a cover. In case such covers are not available, you can use zip lock bags to store vegetables in the refrigerator.

. You can use paper napkins as well instead of brown paper, although the brown cover is the best.

. Remove stems of green chillies before storing them.

. The current sanitising advisory tells us to wash everything thoroughly before storing. If you are washing vegetables, make sure to dry them well before you store them in the refrigerator.

. Tomatoes stay fresh outside for a long time, so no need to store it in the refrigerator immediately once you get it.

. As organic groceries cannot be stored for a long time, open it when required. If there is a large amount, store it in the fridge.

. You can store rasam powder, sambar powder, and other dry powders in the freezer.

Dry curry leaves in the sun (follow the same for mint leaves and coriander leaves; once dry grind to a powder and store in mason jars.

. You can store nuts in the refrigerator.

. Store the potatoes on the floor. Use a large stone thali or an open container.

. You can wash ginger thoroughly, pat them on a dry cloth, put them in a container and then freeze it. Whenever you need to use it, do not thaw, just rinse once with tap water and start grating it. The peel will come off easily and it will grate nicely as it is firm. Grate as much as you want and then put it back in the refrigerator.

Storing hacks for fruits and milk

. You can use cling film to wrap the stems of the bananas to keep them fresh for long, be it individual bananas or bunches. Also, you can peel bananas and freeze them to add to smoothies and recipes later.

. Peel your apples before freezing them as apple skins may have small bruises and marks that can lead to spoilage. Also, you can peel and cut the apples into bite-sized chunks and freeze in packs.

. Remove softened grapes from the entire bunch, wash them and dry thoroughly before freezing. They can last long for six to eight months.

. You can freeze milk into ice cube trays. This way, you will never run out of milk for your tea and coffee.

Hope these simple ways help you in convenient storage of kitchen supplies and make your life hassle-free during the lockdown.

Board games

Activity: Play a board game together, for example. Or if you are a music-loving family, impromptu jam sessions.

Pastiming: Create after-dinner conversations around your elders’ reminiscences of challenging times.

Ritual: Setting a regular time and process for house-keeping can create a ritual around this.

Limit exposure to news: Share the highlights of the day at a fixed time every day with the elders to keep them in the loop. This works at multiple levels; not only does it satisfy their stimulus and recognition hunger but it also creates a ritual. Plus, it can be hugely reassuring for seniors to know the younger members are on the ball and they can take a step back.

Contact and recognition: Those daily ‘he said…, and then she said…’ calls to their besties are important debrief sessions for our elders. Help them with headphones with a mike for privacy.

Avoid games: Lastly, speak up if something bothers you. And be prepared to listen without judgment. This will nip every potential game in the bud.

This article originally appeared on LinkedIn. Click here to read. 

9) With a majority of conveyance services shut, how is it possible to make seniors travel for a doctor or dispensary visit if they do not own a personal car?

You can call an ambulance or 104 (medical helpline) for assistance. You can also dial 100 and inform the police who will help you. You can also approach any police vehicle in the neighbourhood and seek help.

10) Will I be able to leave my city/state?

Several states have sealed their borders and only essential services and emergency cases are being allowed to cross. Travel only if you must.

11) Will I be penalised if I break the lockdown?

All lockdown advisories should be followed with utmost seriousness. The police can take punitive action against you if they feel your actions are endangering the lives or disrupting the law.

12) What services will continue to operate during the lockdown?

All essential services including internet, courier services, banks and ATMs, e-commerce of all essential goods including food, pharmaceutical and medical equipment, other business involving essential items like groceries, vegetables, fruits, milk, medicines, petrol pumps, LPG/OIL agencies will run as usual during the lockdown.

13) Do I need to stock essential items?

No. You don’t need to stock essential items. There is enough stock available in the market and hoarding it won’t be useful.

14) Can we travel from one city to another in personal cars?

No, most cities are under lockdown.

15) Can RWAs or housing societies ban house helps from entering society during a lockdown?

House helps are also required to stay home. If there is an emergency case where an elderly or ailing person needs help, you can contact the police.

Apart from the Silver Talkies initiative, there are several other organisations and groups of independent volunteers across the country who have extended helping hands for socially distanced seniors living alone in various parts of the country. Here’s a list of some of them you can reach out to in times of need.

Primus Senior Living Community

In order to encourage senior citizens to stay at home and maintain social distance, Primus Senior Living Community is offering free delivery services exclusively for seniors in South Bangalore. Primus has engaged its in-house staff to become volunteers and facilitate free deliveries at the doorstep of senior citizens. 

Things the volunteers can do

. Medicine pick up and drop-off

. Shopping and delivery of groceries

. Shopping and delivery of fresh fruits and vegetables

. Laundry pick-up and drop-off

. Delivery of essential packages and courier

. Shopping and delivery of pet supplies

For help, contact 9060695845

Organisation: Caremongers

Started by Mahita Nagraj, a digital marketeer from Bangalore, Caremongers is a social media-based community volunteering initiative ensuring pan-India volunteer delivery of groceries and medicines to senior citizens who are living alone. Apart from Bangalore, the volunteers have covered other cities like Chennai, Hyderabad, Delhi, Noida, Uttarakhand, Gujarat, Maharashtra, Tamil Nadu, Kerala, West Bengal and Odisha.

Things volunteers can do

. Doorstep delivery of essentials like groceries, medicines, milk, vegetables, fruits and any other urgent requirements

For help, call 9591168886

Organisation: Seniority in collaboration with DocsApp

Seniority, a health and lifestyle based retail company for senior citizens has joined hands with DocsApp, a digital healthcare platform in order to bust myths, reduce panic and educate the senior citizens on Coronavirus. This will offer exclusive medical assistance to older adults and their family members.

Services that are being provided

. A 24/7 helpline support to enable senior citizens and their families have access to skilled medical professionals during this crisis time

. Free online consultations across all departments from doctors at the convenience of their homes

. A repository of informative articles, blogs, weekly newsletters and webinars imparting accurate information and safety measures related to Coronavirus

To seek medical assistance, call 08047193443

CHENNAI

Organisation: Bhoomika Trust

Senior citizens living alone in Chennai and needing assistance for medicine and food supplies may seek help from the Bhoomika volunteers.

Things the volunteers can do

. Deliver essential items like groceries, milk, vegetables and fruits

. Deliver medicines on request at the doorstep

For help, contact 04446314726

HYDERABAD

Organisation: One Big Family

One Big Family, a delivery app for the elderly has launched the ‘Stay Safe Stay Home’ initiative in Hyderabad, offering free delivery services to senior citizens of the city via a fleet of well-trained associates/delivery executives.

Things volunteers can do

. 24/7 free doorstep delivery of essentials like medicines, groceries, vegetables, etc.

For help, call 18005725200 or download the mobile app from Play store for android version and Appstore for Apple I-Phones to order online.

BHUBANESHWAR

Organization: #CovidSupportForElders

A community of independent volunteers, it is trying to build a support system for senior citizens.

Things the volunteers can do

. Creating senior-specific awareness about social distancing and self-isolation

. Ensuring steady supply lines for essential items for seniors in two ways:

The volunteers get in touch with the senior citizens and when they specify the needs, the volunteers patch hem up with third-party vendors for doorstep delivery of the items. The group has tied up with some vendors like Bigbazaar, Milky Moo, Apollo Pharmacy, Om Pharma that are offering home deliveries of essential items like. rice, atta, milk, oil. They are also enabling gas refills. Besides, the volunteers are doing online payment of water, electricity and television bills on behalf of the seniors.

They are also developing a database on the shops that are open and functioning in Bhubaneswar and the outlets that are doing home delivery. The volunteers are also helping seniors to pursue hobbies and interests to help them overcome loneliness. Depending on the hobbies of the senior citizens, the volunteers send curated videos to them.

For help, register yourself at https://forms.gle/te3Q1VeJJ4bCo6Pt5

PUNE

Organization: Independent group of young volunteers

The senior citizens in Pune can now reach out to an independent group of volunteers to source necessities like food or over-the-counter medicines which will be delivered outside the door to prevent unnecessary contact.

What the volunteers can do?

Go to local shops and buy essential and critical items like medicines, fruits and vegetables and basic groceries.

. Deliver cooked meals at the doorstep for the seniors who cannot cook for themselves

. Extra care is taken to use gloves, masks, and sanitizers while delivering the items

For help, contact 9146025252

Organization: Action for Pune Development

Action for Pune Development, an organisation of students engaged in several developmental programmes aimed at children and youth provides support to the seniors who are 70+and living alone.

Things volunteers can do

. Doorstep delivery of essential items like basic groceries, rice, atta, oil and medicines

. Ensure volunteer availability to help seniors in case they face any emergency

For help, contact 9657610008

Organization: Ninebee Foundation

Ninebee foundation is distributing free kits containing essential grocery, milk, mask and hand sanitisers to senior citizens who are reaching out to the volunteers for help. Besides Pune, they cover Mumbai, Delhi, Hyderabad and Bangalore.

Things volunteers can do

. Facilitate the free distribution of essential supplies and groceries at the doorstep

. Deliver meals at the doorstep for those who are unable to cook on their own

For help, WhatsApp to 8007776088 or call 9212136088

Organisation: Friends@Senior Citizens

Friends@Senior Citizens, a volunteer organisation is operating in Pune and PCMC area in order to help the senior citizens overcome the crisis period of the lockdown.

Things volunteers can do

. Doorstep delivery of essential items like groceries and medicines

. Arranging for transport to hospitals for check-ups

. Providing doorstep delivery of tiffin services

For help, call 9422517939 and 9822981267

MUMBAI

Organisation: Fit Brigade

Independent volunteers from Mumbai have come together to form a community called Fit Brigade to cater to the essential needs of senior citizens who are living alone across Mumbai at this time of crisis.

Things the volunteers do

. Deliver essential items like groceries, medicines, fruits and vegetables at the doorstep of senior citizens

. Facilitate kitchen service for those who cannot cook and deliver meals at their doorstep

For help in South Mumbai, call 9821887707/ 9820391911

For help in Central Mumbai, call 9004670600/ 9833170665/9773706712

For help in Western Mumbai, call 9819236951/9821159710/9022420360

DELHI

Organisation: Vardaan Senior Citizen Centre

Vardaan Senior Citizen Centre in Malviya Nagar, an organisation committed to looking after senior citizens living alone, far away from their families has come up to provide free delivery service to senior citizens in and around Malviya Nagar, New Delhi. 

Things the volunteers do

. Provide free delivery of essential items like groceries, medicines, fruits and vegetables

. Taking complete charge of ailing seniors who are living alone and providing comprehensive care

CHANDIGARH, MOHALI and PANCHKULA

Organisation: Grey Shades

Grey Shades, a young organisation that offers a six-month-long fellowship program for senior citizens to keep them engaged and active, is helping them in Chandigarh, Mohali and Panchkula during the quarantine phase.

Things the volunteers do

. Provide a steady supply of groceries, medicines and other essential needs to seniors.

. Pick up the items based on the queries and deliver it to the senior citizens at the doorstep.

. A volunteer counsellor comfort calls to senior citizens who are undergoing anxiety and panic attacks.

For help in Mohali, contact 7303441719

For help in Panchkula, contact 9876781057

For help in Chandigarh, contact 8968821155

AHMEDABAD

Organisation: Swara Smile Foundation

The volunteers from Swara Smile Foundation, an NGO are helping senior citizens in Ahmedabad with doorstep delivery.

Things volunteers can do

. Doorstep delivery of food for senior citizens during the lockdown period

For help, call 9265255908 or 8306596333

KOLKATA

Organisation: Kolkata Police

Kolkata Police have started a senior citizen helpline to help senior citizens who are living alone in Kolkata with their children settled abroad. Kolkata Police have urged the children and relatives from abroad to get in touch with them in case of any emergency help and requirements for senior citizens.

For help, call 9830088884

GOA

 Government Helpline

The senior citizens in Goa can reach out to a government helpline, functional between 9 AM to 6 PM providing free home delivery of groceries.

To avail the facility, call on 08047191000

Goa Help Map

A help map has been formed where an individual can post anonymously for help by creating an account and the volunteers nearby can reach for help.

In order to post for help, click here: https://goahelp.ushahidi.io/views/map

In case you want to volunteer for help, contact: helpmapgoa@gmail.com

Do you know of any other initiatives? Write to us on connect@silvertalkies.com

Do not part with your immovable properties during your lifetime. 

There have been several instances where a senior citizen has given their sole property to loved ones out of affection and care and then faced trouble and neglect from the same loved ones. As long as they own a property they are respected and treated well. However, the moment they part with it they become dispensable. The seniors may have transferred the property in good faith. However, the good faith ceases when the children’s interest takes precedence over the senior citizens. It is advised to all senior citizens to keep their property as that is their only asset. In times of need, they can dispose of their property and do not have to depend on anybody for livelihood. Also, do not commit the mistake of giving out your property as security (mortgage) to any financial institutions.

Do not sign any contractual documents without reading them thoroughly. 

The commercial world has become so complicated that no contract document is understandable to the common man, especially the documents related to the technology sector. There is a higher risk of getting trapped into a lot of legal and other issues if the points discussed in the contractual document are not read and comprehended to know the legal implications from prior. Hence, it is always essential to read the document before putting one’s signature on it. If one does not read, one does not know what they are getting into. 

Do not have blind faith in someone.

It is important to not trust anyone blindly. There is no harm in asking for a receipt after one gets servicing of some gadgets done. It is essential to realise the difference between being cautious and trusting someone and having blind faith in someone.

Accept your physical or mental health and provide power of attorney to someone to make a decision on your behalf.

In case you are unwell and not in a position to make your own decision related to property and finance, please accept your state and authorise someone to make a decision on your behalf through the power of attorney. In case one is unable to write or read, there is no harm in authorising someone to take the required decisions on one’s behalf. 

Isha Pant, Superintendent of Police, CID, Bangalore, on senior safety rules 

Inform the police if you live alone: Seniors living alone and worried about their safety can inform the police and arrange for beat police to patrol their lane. 

Download Suraksha App: Seniors or their loved ones can download the SURAKSHA APP (IOS link here: https://apps.apple.com/in/app/suraksha-bengaluru-city-police/id1213387661) that turns one’s smartphone into a discreet personal safety device. The app has a red button which when pressed sends alert to the police control room and urges dispatch of the nearest police patrol vehicle to the distress alert. The app was launched keeping in mind the safety of senior citizens and women. 

Inform about abuse: An FIR can be lodged in the nearest police station to inform about any domestic violence against senior citizens. 

Be discreet: While travelling it is essential to be discreet and not announce on social media.

Dial 100: If faced with road rage, 100 can be dialled to seek help instead of directly confronting the rule-breakers.

Beware of ATM skimmer: Senior citizens are often duped by ATM skimmers, a card reader that can be disguised to look like part of an ATM. The skimmer attachment collects card numbers and PIN codes that are often replicated to counterfeit cards. Seniors are often unaware of such skimmers and may end up becoming victims of fraud which is why they must be vigilant about it. 

Know your neighbours: For senior citizens, it is particularly important that they know their neighbours and are well connected with them in order to bring down crimes in the city and see increasing citizens participation to prevent it. Also, for senior citizens living alone, knowing their next-door neighbours become crucial to deal with any kind of emergencies. Hence, seniors must actively take part in the Hello Neighbourhood Scheme by Bangalore Police.

Here are some further expert guidelines:

Vaibhav Tewari on the importance of home healthcare

For seniors living independently and alone, it is essential to make sure that they can avail healthcare facilities and services right at the doorstep starting from diagnostic services, regular check-up services, preventive healthcare services and palliative healthcare services for those who are suffering from any kind of chronic conditions. Home healthcare makes life easier and stress-free for senior citizens,”

Naresh V Narasimhan on the necessity to make homes convenient for senior living

While building a new home or making renovations, everyone must realise the need to make arrangements for senior citizens to reside safely at home. Instead of using Italian marble flooring and slippery tiles in the bathrooms, make sure you have textured vinyl on the floor to make the floor surface rough to prevent an accidental fall, use adequate lighting to ensure a senior citizen gets proper light to move about without any hassle, keep provision and enough area (5 feet turning radius) to accommodate a wheelchair and smoothly turn it around as per necessity, make use of chair lifts along the railings of the staircase and 3M stickers on bathroom floors to alert seniors about slippery floors.

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Sohail Khan on why senior citizens living alone need daily assistance

As of today, 1 out of every 5 parents in India lives alone. Almost 80% of all senior citizens in India feel isolated and depressed in some phase of their life after 50. They not only suffer from chronic loneliness but also need assistance in small chores for which they have to rely on strangers that may lead to safety issues. Technology also acts as a deterrent as they are not abreast with the new platforms. Instead of making their lives easier, it becomes an additional hassle to use technology.

Madhusudhan Gad on post-retirement finance

Senior citizens face a wide range of issues in terms of finance, especially post-retirement. They are not aware of the appropriate investments that can generate maximum revenue, neither are they pro in managing their budgetary concerns or their assets. Nor are they in the habit of consulting a professional for the same. All they do is worry about money during old age. It is essential for them to be completely aware of the finance-related issues as money is all that they need to have active, healthy ageing at home.

The three-hour-long session left a group of over 100 senior citizens satisfied who went back home with ideas of making their ageing at home more convenient.

Silver Talkies Social member, (Click here to know how to become a social member) Uma Kasturi, 72, was part of this specially curated silver holiday and shares her enthralling experience in the city of ghats with us.

From the first group selfie at the departure lounge at Karnataka International Airport (KIA) to the last ‘bye-byes’ and ‘we should do it again’, the Banaras trip organised by Silver Talkies in association with Unhotel was a blast. On reaching the heritage city of Banaras, we got a lovely welcome at Granny’s Inn with friendly warmth, steaming cups of fragrant tea and jasmine garlands. Right from the beginning, we felt at home and this augured well for the rest of our stay.

By then the group of like-minded young-at-heart seniors had got along well and we were on a roll. The rooms were comfortable and the home-cooked food, the chaats and the sweets were delectable. The taste of Makkhan Malais still lingers.

All about finding wonders in the narrow alleys

We felt absolutely safe wherever we went, thanks to our escorts, Nidhi, Shilpi, Mayur and Rohit. The temple trips and aartis were a great spiritual experience, especially the morning aarti. The music performance after the aarti was a bonus for all of us.

The trip to the weaver’s colony raised a lot of questions in my mind. Their living and working conditions are really bad, totally in contrast to the beautiful creations that they produce. The shopping was great, from the laid-back saree shopping to hopping from shop to shop for bangles, bags and curios in the maze of narrow, old lanes.

The choice of lassis at the Blue Lassi was wide. However, the ambience was a little uncomfortable. Though we were warned about it from before, the continuous passage of funeral processions past the doorstep of the lassi maker was a little off-putting. It could have been nicer if we all could have gone for a city tour for a couple of hours to be able to see more of Banaras apart from the older parts of the city and the ghats.

The trip made for an amazing bonding time among the seniors

The sessions we had during the early morning tea and after dinner were fun. The girls literally let their hair down. There were lots of gup-shup and banter. The granny, Asha, at the Granny’s Inn was a really warm and friendly person and she made us feel very welcome and at home – mi casa su casa. We look forward to more such senior-friendly trips with Silver Talkies. The Banaras trip got of us a lot of colours, smiles, music and fun amid the humdrum affairs of life.

Growing up with grandparents is a special gift. Image courtesy: Ramesh Sood

Ramesh Sood, 59, lives with his wife, son, daughter-in-law and a grandson he and his wife dote on in Pune. The popular coach and mentor thinks it’s a give and take. “Gap between older and younger generation at home can be overcome by realizing just this one thing — If earlier a generation gap meant 1x then due to the speed of change and emergence of a world of accelerated digital flows, this gap has increased to 4x or more in present times. Therefore, the older generation needs to shun judgment and be quietly present if the young ones ever need the support of experience. Oh yes, it would need a tremendously conscious effort that’s difficult but not impossible. The external environment is completely different today than it was 20 years ago and our young ones are required to sustain themselves in that environment. Let us accept this one fact,” says Mr Sood.

Have Your Own Life

Narang believes it’s important for elders to have their own life, especially when living with the younger generation in the same home. “Otherwise you will be lonely as they are busy with their own lives and feel bad about it.”

Narang says elders often impose their ideas and way of doing things when they move in to live with their children. She believes you need to put boundaries in your thinking and judgement whether living with a daughter or daughter-in-law.

“When it comes to home management and children, be clear who has the prime responsibility, if it’s your daughter-in-law and son, try to understand why they are doing things in a certain way, instead of interfering.”

Talk It Out

What helped Narang in understanding these things were frank conversations with her daughter-in-law. “Instead of judging her or commenting on things I found hard to understand, I asked her the reason behind it and she explained,” Narang says. Sharma on her part expresses gratitude. “I know that many wouldn’t have taken the trouble to ask like ma did and may have formed their judgement. I appreciated that she asked and it has helped our bond!”

Sharma suggests intergenerational families that live together should talk things out with each other if they find something amiss instead of forming judgements in their minds that may lead to a future clash. “It applies to everyone, old and young.”

The Young Need To Respect Experience

While the world has rapidly changed, experience has a lot of value and younger people need to understand that. “I expect them to know that ‘Experience’ is a truth that can’t be denied. And therefore needs to be respected. The gap can be reduced by creating opportunities for happy meaningful conversations between generations,” Mr Sood advises.

“It’s important to teach that to the younger people at home, especially children and teenagers,” says Arushi Khandekar from Mumbai. “Today’s children dismiss the elderly often as they are not tech-savvy or as up to date with the latest things as they are. It’s our job as parents to point out how much the elders’ experience counts.” Khandekar lives with her husband, teenage son and father in law. “My FIL is a math whiz who can still do complex sums in his head. Now that my son has realised that he has a newfound respect for dada and the realisation that there is merit in hard work and regular practice!”

Understand Needs From Their Point of View, Not Yours

Shashank Agarwal, 71, from Navi Mumbai, also thinks it’s easier for diverse generations to live together if they respect and trust each others’ abilities. “I drive everywhere and though my son expresses concern, he trusts my judgement on this and doesn’t interfere. I, on the other hand, don’t drive at night as I know it worries them. I’d request children living with elderly to not limit their activities because they are worried. We appreciate the concern but wouldn’t like to be limited until the time our limbs allow us.”

Patience & Empathy

Sasmita Das* lives with her in-laws, husband and children. Das thinks looking at intergenerational relationships with patience and empathy can go a long way towards improving things. “Don’t jump to conclusions if something is said. Instead, put yourself in the person’s shoes and try to understand the context. Age can be unkind sometimes, limiting mobility, life-choices, etc. A bit of understanding from the young in the family towards that would go a long way in creating a healthy atmosphere at home.”

* Some names have been changed on request 

Cover image used for representation purposes only. Courtesy: Pranav Kumar Jain/ https://unsplash.com/

Sandesh and Ganesh Poojari who have been fulfilling their father’s dream after his untimely demise

Ramakrishna Holla established CTR in 1952 and handed it over to Sanjeeva Poojari about 40 years back. “During the 70s when my dad took over, we started selling Dosas at just one rupee fifty paise, and a cup of coffee would cost around 50 paise. Over the next few decades, CTR stood the test of time, has evolved to be one of the best brands for Benne Dosas, has made some amazing friendships, both with the staff and the customers and is continuing to win hearts of many,” says Sandesh Poojari who had been visiting the restaurant with his father since he was in Grade VII.

What began as a tiny one-storied eating space has now expanded into two spacious floors with the majority of staff working there for more than 45 years. The magic butter that makes the Dosa crackle from outside and melts inside your mouth comes from a secret village in Karnataka which has been supplying butter for CTR since its inception. The Poojari brothers have maintained the old tradition of no holidays and serving their customers on all days. It is open 365 days, right from 7 AM till 12:30 PM at the noon and from 4 PM till 9:15 PM in the evening with a few hours’ breaks in between.

The mouth-watering Benne Dosas from CTR

“My dad spent around two and a half years to master the art of making the perfect Dosas that you see today. It was my dad’s own recipe that has given Benne Dosa the perfect size, the right amount of butter, the perfect thickness and the perfect crackle that melts in one’s mouth. My dad used to travel every day to this secret village which shall remain a secret obviously to get the butter for the Dosas till he was alive. The chef who had assisted dad during the initial years is now the chief chef. He is 55-years-old and has been with us for more than four decades now,” says Poojari whose day begins with visiting the shop to make sure the quality of the food, hygiene, cleanliness is all maintained well.

The best lesson the Poojari brothers got from their late father? it was the art of making the staff and the customers their own family. Going down memory lane, Sandesh Poojari says: “My dad would never consider the staff as his employees. He would always behave with them like his own brother. We have learnt how to make the staff feel like our family members and that’s how we continue to present the tasty Dosas together. For dad, his customers were above everything. This is how our loyal customers have become our family friends.”

This is how the CTR looked 14 years back

CTR boasts of septuagenarian and octogenarian customers who travel to Bangalore from the USA and come straight to the restaurant from the airport to dig into the dreamy Dosas. There are others who make sure to pack these Dosas for their wives and family members and fly with them overseas. “While we have received offers to open our outlets in London, Germany, Auckland and more, we have never shown much interest. We believe that CTR is Bangalore’s wonder and one has to fly down to the garden city to taste our Dosas,” says Sandesh Poojari who is firm about maintaining the golden legacy of Bengaluru’s favourite CTR.

Education and learning are assumed to be important factors in facilitating participation in society, allowing adults to enjoy a positive quality of life and adapt to changes within the environment in areas such as technology, lifestyle, finances, and health which are strong predictors of longevity and active ageing.

Benefits of Learning at an older age

It keeps one healthier and active: As we get older we must keep our brain active. Learning new skills or new subjects helps in keeping the mind sharp. Continued learning helps in improving memory by maintaining the brain.

It gives an emotional boost: Learning new things boosts self-esteem. On learning a new skill, one feels stronger and more confident. New skills, when acquired, give a sense of independence which ensures being healthy and happy. Learning provides older adults with the skills and confidence they need to participate effectively in decision-making processes, increasing their self-efficacy. This form of self-esteem leads to improved performance in solving not only cognitive problems but daily life challenges. Learning a new language, developing an understanding of different religions, and mastering new technologies provide examples of challenging problems that are useful in enhancing the belief in one’s ability to handle new tasks—the “Can-do Factor”.

It enables meeting new people: When one attends a class or lecture among multiple participants one gets an opportunity to meet people with similar interests. It paves the way to have great acquaintances.

It positively impacts mental health: It helps in having a sense of identity, ability to cope and a feeling of purpose in life. It also gives a greater level of wellbeing, especially in older adults, an increase in life satisfaction and positive changes in mental wellbeing.

It enhances cognitive health: Learning has a positive and lasting impact on cognition. Everyday activities can to an extent help in stimulating the brain. But active learning is a complex process and can be considered an ideal mean of cognitive stimulation. It need not always be some courses, but it can simply be learning something new and stimulating, such as gardening or being involved in a group discussion on a current topic. Learning something completely new, unfamiliar and mentally challenging provides more stimulation mentally and socially. Hence it is better for cognitive health.

Learning a new skill, and then mindfully applying what you learn will improve cognitive functions but can also provide years of future enjoyment.

Consider taking classes in:

Photography

Flower arranging

Drawing

Scrapbooking

Cooking classes – maybe something specific like cooking for someone with diabetes, or low-cholesterol cooking

Learning how to use a smartphone, and using social media such as Facebook or Instagram

U3A – University of Third Age

U3A, L’Universite du Troisieme Age or University of the Third Age, was founded in

Toulouse, France in 1972 where universities began to provide educational opportunities for older adults. The experiment met with almost immediate success and soon spread to other European countries. Every member of the educational group was encouraged to contribute voluntarily to the running of their U3A organization in some way. Now it has spread to various countries and has different models of functioning.

The motto among older adults should be ‘What classes are coming up?’ instead of ‘ My life is over’. As the baby boomer generation ages, they will continue to actively seek out creative and innovative lifelong learning opportunities to integrate with their life. This is an interesting way to encourage older adults of our society to maximize the many benefits of lifelong learning.

Why should one learn

To give back

To teach, use new skills

To constantly learn never stop

To keep the mind active, use the brain, stay mentally stimulated

To obtain goals

Understanding of the meaning of life

Understanding self better

To focus on positives and not negatives

Extend thinking and learning capacity

Actively participating in life, giving it a new meaning

To develop new friendships

What should one learn

About other cultures

New talents

New skills, vocation(counselling, gardening, etc)

Craft, painting, drawing

Driving a car

Learning languages

Technology usage

Spiritual aspects of life

Hobbies

Current affairs

New subjects

Music

Family History

How should one learn

Travel

New activities

Reading

New experiences

New challenges

Cultural activities

Seeking opportunities

Moving out of Comfort zone

Mentoring

Where should one learn

New places

At work

From others young and old

Support groups

Groups for art, dance, language, drama

At home

Formal courses

Volunteer organizations

E-Learning online

Learning is very important at any age and among older adults, it helps in improving physical and mental health.

Lifelong learning is the secret to happiness in older age, benefiting both the body and mind. Meet the seniors for whom learning has never stopped. Click here to read about the seniors for whom learning never stopped. 

Staying occupied is the trick

Narmatha Murty, 66, has been living alone for the past 13 years since she lost her spouse. While it had been initially difficult for her to cope, support from her sisters and courage made her completely self-dependent. She may have taken five long years to accept the reality and move on, but trying out ways to make herself busy and occupied gave her a meaningful second inning of life.

“I took up interior designing as a passion and started doing it for my close friends. Also, I kept attending life insurance and travel insurance courses though I have not done a single insurance till now. It was just for the sake of gaining more knowledge and keeping myself busy. Now I take care of everything all by myself,” says Murty.

In order to ensure she is not alone in the case of any kind of emergency, she has rented out some parts of her residential building and has three tenants. Also, she is part of Silver Talkies, an engagement community for seniors in Bangalore that keeps her active and going. She had recently been to Benaras with a group of like-minded seniors organised by Silver Talkies in collaboration with Unhotel, a tourism company that curates senior-friendly travels.

Safety is one’s own responsibility

For Sandhya Kunjur, 63, a bold and self-dependent woman throughout her life, living alone has been smooth. She has lived through a broken relationship, ruled her advertising career, established her own craft business, succeeded in her marketing career and has fulfilled her dreams of developing a non-profit organisation to help girl children and women single-handedly. And while doing all these she had moved to her own place during her 30s. With her relatives living close by, Kunjur does not have to worry when she faces a health emergency now. However, she is very particular about her own safety and has taken some wise steps towards it.

“I have put CCTV camera outside my main door, and check it before opening the door. I have put a list of names of doctors, immediate neighbours and family in my priority list on my phone and on my soft board at home. If I am travelling I let them know I am off and inform them when I am back. After 7.30 pm, I avoid opening the front door if I am not expecting anyone. I have asked my building security to come along with my visitor if he looks unknown,” she says.

According to her, a helpline for senior citizens, trained full-time maids, priority ambulances for senior citizens and wheelchair facilities in the buildings where they live are some of the infrastructural and civic helps that can make the life of a senior citizen living alone smooth and hassle-free. “I am young and happy with my independence. But once I grow a little older, I may look at a senior citizen home,” she says.

Being able to man the home makes it smooth

For Shiv Kumar, 71, a senior advocate, the art of living alone well has been equivalent to be able to manage all household chores alone. A widower for the last 15 years, Kumar has still not been able to cope with the emotional vacuum but has become a master of managing his home.

“The fact of not having another human face in the living space has been extremely daunting. The coping began with learning to fend for oneself in terms of running the household—maid, cook, groceries, vegetables, etc. Buying of vegetables and groceries became an outdoor activity that transformed a chore into an enjoyable experience. As I started learning to use the washing machine, the pressure cooker and managing the kitchen, I began treating them as an enjoyable experience. I think coping was possible because of accepting the situation and not mixing the emotional loss with practical day to day needs of living,” says Kumar who recently shifted to an apartment from an independent home. Now infrastructure requirements like security, plumbers, electricians, etc, are no more his concern and are taken care of.

Long walks, visiting friends and relatives, listening to music and reading became other coping mechanisms for him. “In spite of being laughed at and being made fun of I made physical visits to the Bank instead of using net banking which became another activity,” says Kumar who is currently running a full services law firm.

Every person has their own coping mechanism and ways to deal with living on their own. We hope the advice above from these three active, young at heart seniors will give you not just ideas but also inspiration if you are contemplating living alone.

The couple honeymooning in Andaman and Nicobar Islands

It all started after Seshadri lost his wife in 2018 and his son and daughter-in-law, now settled in Canada, did not want their dad to lead his silver years all alone. His Hyderabad-based daughter also welcomed the idea and his children’s encouragement made him open an account on an online matrimonial platform.

“Suma too was listed there but she was not active. In fact, she had deleted her account long back but luckily it still remained and by fluke, I got a chance to get in touch with her and what began between us was friendship and a journey to understand each other. We used to talk to each other over the phone and had met thrice. Her daughter accompanied us during our third meet and we had a great dinner together,” says Seshadri.

Seshadri and Suma with their children

Suma, who lost her husband 5 years back was initially a little hesitant to take their friendship to the next level. “I was shy at first but with my daughter’s support, I finally decided to get married. During silver years everyone needs a partner and a friend to be with to keep loneliness at bay and to stand by each other during any kind of emergency. Our children are all settled in their own lives and we too are happily enjoying our post-retirement days together. It feels wonderful to have a bigger family now. While earlier I had only one daughter, right now I am a proud mother of two daughters and a loving son,” says Suma.

This inspiring couple went to Andaman and Nicobar Islands on their honeymoon and had a lovely trip in October 2019. And guess what, they tied the knot only two weeks after Suma’s daughter got married to the love of her life.

Adda celebrated their wedding with grandeur

Seshadri is a member of Adda, one of Silver Talkies’ social engagement clubs in association with Rotary Cantonment and the wedding was celebrated with all grandeur at Adda. All like-minded and young-at-heart friends came together to gift a bouquet of flowers to the newlyweds and cut a special cake wishing them a blissful life.

Isn’t it awesome to see children realizing the need for companionship for their parents and encouraging them to start afresh during their silver years? It indeed is and may we have more such inspiring seniors embracing aging the coolest way. Love has no age and these super silvers have proven that.