Nearly a year ago, in October 2023, 71-year-old Sudha Mahalingam and her friends Monu and Krishna Bhatia, aged 82 and 77 respectively, walked the Camino de Santiago. Together, they walked 120 kilometres across 8 days, allowing them to experience the Camino on a moderate trail without compromising on the experience and community spirit of the walk.

The Camino de Santiago is a network of ancient pilgrimage routes leading to the tomb of the Apostle Saint James the Greater in Santiago de Compostela, Spain. It is Europe's oldest and most well-known pilgrimage route, traversed since the 9th century. Today, people undertake the journey for a variety of reasons. Some see it as an adventure, others view it as a must-do item on their bucket list, and many find it to be a deeply spiritual experience.

The original Camino path can extend for up to 800 kilometres, starting from the South of France, crossing the Pyrenees, and going through urban centres like Madrid, Granada, Lisbon, or even Algarve. The Camino maintains a system of different routes as in ancient days travellers set off from various parts of Europe to arrive at Santiago de Compostela. It is believed that there is a pathway suited to every interest and capability. That’s how the three friends from Bangalore city decided to embark on the moderate trail, to suit their physical capabilities. This also meant making careful choices, like not carrying a heavy backpack as they walked.

Finding Their Path

Mahalingam and the Bhatia couple walked the shortest Camino route, which is 120 km from Sarria in Lugo, Spain -- the minimum distance required to be recognized as the Camino. "Along the way, several places provide stamps for the Camino passport, which are authenticated and eventually culminate in the issuance of a certificate in Santiago. I possess a certificate in Latin with my name on it," Mahalingam says with pride. .

Walking westward from Sarria to Santiago in eight days is one of the most popular sections of the Camino. This is the last 100km of the Camino, and upon completion, a walker/pilgrim is able to obtain their Compostela Certificate. The trail is open year-round, though Mahalingam and the Bhatias did it in October. The best months to visit are April to June, and September to October.

As the adventurous trio tell us, the hike had signposts throughout the path; it was relatively easy and manageable even for individuals with reasonable fitness levels, and offered captivating views of the pastoral Spanish countryside. The path they walked was largely a flat one, through forest trails and farming villages with excellent tree cover that almost felt like walking through a green tunnel. Cows and horses grazed on the farmlands they passed, creating a scenery out of a picture postcard. "Galicia's fertile farms were brimming with an abundance of fruits waiting to be discovered and tasted. During the journey, we walked through paths laden with apples, chestnuts in various states, squashed and dried grapes, fallen figs, occasional oranges and persimmons, and trails shaded by lush vegetation," Mahalingam, an intrepid traveller, adds. Apart from picking the occasional juicy fruit enticing them on their path, the trio enjoyed local delicacies, which included arroz (rice dishes), and excellent varieties of bread and wine.

Octopus is a much-loved local delicacy and the places that serve it are called Pulperia. A breaded and fried octopus dish much like the Indian onion bhaji was available everywhere.

All three think the trail is doable for fit older adults, including someone walking alone. "There are always crowds going and people are ready to help. If you sit down somewhere, somebody invariably will come and ask if you need any help. There is a spirit of camaraderie and mutual support."

What Older Walkers Need To Remember

At 82, not everyone may add a 120 kilometres walking trail with 18-19 km of walking per day to their itinerary like Monu Bhatia did. He says he might have been one of the oldest people on that trail. While the trail may be considered moderate, he does advise maintaining basic fitness: "Anyone planning to walk the trail should walk regularly, at least five to six kilometres per day, and possibly even 10 km. Additionally, incorporating strengthening exercises into your fitness routine is essential because it's not just about walking; it's also about building and maintaining muscle strength. If I were to do something like this again, I'd focus not only on walking but also on strength training and similar activities,” explains the octogenarian.

"It's important to keep using your limbs regularly, especially as you get older. If you don't use them for some time, there's a high chance of losing their functionality. Therefore, it's crucial to exercise constantly," says Mahalingam, adding, "Despite being 71 years old, I consider myself fortunate to have good health, and I feel as though I'm only 51. I constantly set targets for myself and strive to challenge myself. Setting and working towards goals is crucial, regardless of age. You may not always achieve these goals, but the effort is important, especially as you reach your 70s and beyond. I believe it's vital to keep challenging yourself, just like the Bhatias have done admirably. It's something I have also been doing unconsciously, always taking on new projects and staying active."

Krishna Bhatia completed the trail successfully despite a tendon issue. She too thinks staying active helped. "Physical activity is crucial, such as daily walks or alternate-day routines, along with incorporating a bit of yoga. Additionally, engaging in breathing exercises to improve stamina and maintaining a positive mindset towards any endeavour is highly recommended." Like her husband she recommends strength training exercises, which was her learning from this experience.

While you can find out more about The Camino on their official website and plan the route that works for you, here are some suggestions and useful tips from the Bhatias and Mahalingam about their walk and what to keep in mind:

Night Halts: The trio stayed in AirBnBs at most of the halts. Most of these were well-equipped with amenities such as espresso machines and pods, dishwashers, washing machines, and juicers. "These appliances were put to good use as we collected an assortment of fruits during our journey. We made sure not to waste any coffee pods and consumed copious amounts of juice and beer," Mahalingam says. "Obtaining the keys to our AirBnB proved to be an entertaining task in many places. It often felt like we were in a folk tale, having to cross seven seas, climb seven mountains, traverse seven valleys, and retrieve the keys from the stomach of a goldfish in a pond in a distant meadow just to access our cottage! Nonetheless, we managed to retrieve the keys every time."

Meals: Food wasn't a problem for vegetarians in the group as long as they cooked their meals, as restaurants leaned towards non-vegetarian food. Rice, vegetables, fruits and good quality bread can be bought from the grocery store in the villages during each night halt. Almost every village had at least one café with an orange juice machine, to keep up with energy-boosting health drinks.

Footwear: Wear good shoes and remember to break your shoes in at least one month before you start your journey, so that you can walk effortlessly while on the trail.

Clothing: Check the weather before you pack. Carry minimal clothing, including raingear. Every place you stay has washers and dryers.

Luggage: While many pilgrims carry their luggage, you can opt to have yours transported by a porter for a fee of four euros per bag to the next destination. This is what the trio did. They also kept the backpacks they carried while walking the trails as light as possible. Mahalingam carried five kilos in her backpack, which included two cameras, batteries, food and water.

Rest: Listen to your body and take required breaks. Adjust your walking pace and distance to match your energy level and ability.

Nature's Call: There are very few toilets on this trail (except at cafe stops) which is one of the negatives, say our travellers. "Older people have short holding times sometimes and for them, it may become a bit of a problem," says Mahalingam. Her suggestion: Either they can wear a diaper and walk, or use the wilderness, if you cannot hold out for three to four hours.

Necessities: Like on any holiday, carry your medication. Since this is a walking route you may want to carry pain balm. Apart from these, the usuals for emergencies like fever, headaches and indigestion should be carried and preferably kept in the daily backpack.

Support: It is helpful if you have a hiking stick on the trail as it becomes a third leg and gives you support.

Most exhilarating moment: Reaching St. James Church at the end of the pilgrimage on the ninth day was the highlight for Mahalingam and Bhatias. “There is a huge crowd there and many have walked the full 800 kilometres of the trail,” they say. Many had also done the shorter walk like Mahalingam and the Bhatias did. They tell us walking the trail was special because of the spirit of the Camino prevailing all around, making it as much about the journey as about the destination.

When I had returned home from school one afternoon, I had brought along a certificate to show that I had won the first prize in an essay writing competition. My parents were not surprised; by the time I was an adolescent, I was winning fewer prizes in drawing than in writing. That afternoon, there was someone else at home to show my certificate to. Kaka—my maternal grandfather, who only wore khadi, and had gone to jail with Gandhi during the Independence movement, and was a publisher and editor of a literary magazine that stood as an intellectual pillar for the Assamese society—was sitting crouched in that comfortable chair, writing into his journal, and making plans of where to visit next, during his visit to us in Bombay.

I showed him my certificate and his face the colour of rose-dipped milk acquired a redder tinge, with his large smile. He pulled me closer to his face, and rubbed my cheeks against his; the stubble of his unshaved beard piercing my skin, much to my annoyance but also knowing that was his favourite way to show love. Having been born in 1912, Siva Prasad Barooah then went on to tell me the story of when he won the second prize in an essay writing competition in school: “Can you think what was the prize? It was a stainless steel safety pin!” He said with laughter, in utter disbelief how the world had changed over the decades, as I was well aware of the tattered corners of his khadi cloth bag held together by a few safety pins.

My father—Kaka’s beloved son-in-law—took it upon himself to get the khadi bag repaired with durable yarn; get his eyeglasses cleaned; and most importantly, get the worn heels of his sturdy shoes fixed with new blocks of rubber. Nobody could stop that 80-something man from walking up to 15 kms a day; the best that could be done to protect his feet and legs were to repair the shoes.

Walking with Words

Well into his 90s, Kaka could walk long distances. How did he do that in his hometown of Guwahati? That I don’t know much about, but what I do have are memories of incoming calls to our landline in our Bombay home: calls that came from Borivali, Thane, Churchgate, all of which were quite a distance from our home in Kalina. The calls would come from Assamese families living there, that Kaka had somehow known about—even though my parents themselves were well-connected with the Assamese diaspora in Bombay. These newly-discovered people would be calling to inform us of four things: that they were honoured that a senior writer and editor was visiting their home; that they were so delighted to receive a copy of the latest Bordoichila magazine from him; that Kaka would be having lunch with them; that he would reach home by evening.

Bordoichila was born in 1931, and Kaka came on as its editor later, and he passionately sustained it for several decades. It was the platform that announced the literary acumen of many people who went on to become well-known writers in Assam, and beyond. It was published during Bohag Bihu, or in April, and its name signifies the dark storms in spring, just before sunset, with dark grey clouds bringing torrential rain, to mark the onset of Bohag (from the Hindu calendar of Baisakh). I came across a small write-up by literary scholar, political scientist and Sahitya Academy recipient Dr Hiren Gohain, who wrote how, when he was a youth, he often heard the elders impatiently wait for the next issue of the magazine.

In an article written in 2004 by Dr Gohain that my mother found, he had written how the expanse of Kaka’s works was sadly limited by the fact that, in Assam, artists of all disciplines were continually judged and even vilified, but their contributions or successes are not equally written about. He wrote how, along with being courageous and committed to fighting injustice, Kaka had a fun-loving and unconventional spirit. It is difficult for me to imagine Kaka’s contribution to Assamese society; I only know of this through what other people have written about him.

Each night in our home in Bombay, Kaka would write about his day in his diary. They would become thick from tiny notes inserted between pages; he did not complain that there was no writing table for him in Bombay. He saw that me and my brother had a small study table for us in our tiny apartment, and he kept his stack of books in a corner of our dining table. But in the Assam-type house in Guwahati where he lived, I was deeply fascinated by his room, as though it were a museum. It had a distinctly strong scent: of the old wood of his bed with ornamental carvings and shelves stacked up with books and notebooks; and Keo Karpin hair oil, which he would slather onto his shiny white hair. His Nehru jacket would be kept neatly on a hanger, and remnants of a rose tucked to one of its buttons would mean that he may have had an important meeting that day.

With just a table lamp on, he would write through the evenings, and would catch me peering through the door which he would shut to drown out the noises from the rest of the house. His dinners were almost always the same: a few spoons of cooked rice, and whatever daal and sabji my Aaita—his wife, my grandmother—had cooked. And to finish off, he would mix the last bits of the rice in a bowl of milk. Over the years, the quantity of rice kept getting lesser.

As a child, I felt his writing table was the biggest I had ever seen; full of books, reams of paper, and pens. It was there where I first encountered that globe of blue: an inkpot. He would get very angry when anyone would take a pen from his room, and not return it to its place. I would hear my aunty mock him for this: his room was utterly untidy and yet he would get cranky about a missing pen.

Now, as an adult with a messy room full of books and notebooks, I get equally cranky if anyone comes in and tries to “fix” it. I realise how much I have become like Kaka, and I actually love it. He was an independent journalist throughout his life, and so have I for the larger part of my career, entirely by coincidence. I am, however, still waiting for the courage, conviction, determination, and the important ability to cut through the madness that comes with working with different egos, to create my own magazine.

Lost in Legacy

Sometime in the 1970s, a massive fire in the printing press in Calcutta—where Bordoichila was printed—had impacted the magazine, and thereby Kaka’s finances, terribly. Even so, it continued to be printed in smaller numbers, based on whatever funds Kaka could generate; the older generation of Assam still remember the magazine and him, and that has been my way of identifying myself.

Many years ago a friend was researching about Kaka, and had found a local news item from 1998, which had reported that Kaka’s archive of newspapers and journals that dated back to 60 years had been stolen by hawkers dealing with scrap materials. The news item had reported that among those that were stolen were rare manuscripts and Kaka’s diaries, along with old photographs. “Mr Barooah lamented that a chapter of his hard literary work was over and he could not give the Assamese readers any original work of art and literature.” I found this news item buried in my old emails; just like the physical archive that was lost, the URL of the news article is also lost on the Internet.

I was still quite young when the squabble among his children—my mother and her siblings—began, such that the magazine could not be preserved within the family. Each of the siblings had a different experience of him as their father, and they were resentful of him for prioritising a public-facing life. My cotton-soft, ever-smiling grandmother was angry, but she was not a woman to hold onto them for long: writing about her generosity, her directness, her compassion, would need more reams of paper. But my mother was always upset that her mother—my grandmother—did get a good deal in life by being the wife of a famous intellectual.

When Kaka died in 2010 at the age of 98, none of his children were interested in keeping up the legacy of Bordoichila. It was taken over by a Trust and sustained itself for a few years, but it is now largely lost. It was only a few months before his death that I had a chance to talk to him about his work, the gap between the dream of a free India for all and the reality of a corrupt India by all.

One opportunity to know about Kaka’s magnanimity was in 2006, when I was visiting Assam after graduating from college, and he had been admitted to the hospital for a lung infection. I decided to sit by his bedside everyday. I was surprised by the stream of visitors who had come to see him each evening. He had asked me to write down the names of each visitor—it would go up to 20 individuals each evening—so that he could write that down in his journal, after he would be discharged from the hospital.

One evening, my uncle brought Aaita to see him; she was dressed beautifully and he spoke with a feeble tone. When he asked her if she was doing okay, she responded with her trademark sarcasm: “You never asked me this all my life, and you’re asking me this now!” I thought this was the beginning of a fight, but she just laughed and he pretended not to hear her. He was discharged from the hospital soon after, and continued with what he did best until he died: writing, walking, meeting people, and digesting his days with a small bowl of rice and milk.

When Yameema Mitha was 13 years old, she was visiting her Mamu (mother’s brother) in Delhi. He was the Director General of All India Radio, and he would receive several invitations for musical events. Yameema went along to one of them with her cousin, also a teenager. Both teenagers were embarrassed when they arrived. “Mamu was given the first row seats, and everyone was in their finest clothes, while we girls were wearing just regular clothes,” Yameema remembers, while sitting in her sunny home in a suburb of Dublin.

Yameema says that her cousin already loved classical music, and Mitha was exposed to it to some extent at home. But the performers that night were Pandit Ravi Shankar and Ustad Allah Rakha Khan. The concert began around 9pm, and around 3am, when the dignitaries had left, a young man was invited to the stage. “He was beautiful, with long curly hair, wearing an orange kurta; it was Zakir Sahib, Ustad Allah Rakha’s son. Panditji sat between the father and son playing the tabla, and Ustad ji was bursting with pride. And that day on, I never looked back, on my journey with Indian classical music,” says the Pakistani woman who is a resident of Ireland, and has been one of the key persons promoting Indian classical music in Ireland.

Yameema is 68-years-old, and identifies as a woman of the Indian subcontinent. Her childhood was spent in Lahore, but included an annual trip to different parts of India where her cousins, uncles and aunties lived. Both her parents shared a deep love for Indian classical music in more ways than one.

Yameema’s father was Abubaker Mitha, and was from a Muslim Gujarati business/political family in Bombay and was an officer in the British Indian Army; her mother’s maiden surname was Chatterji but four generations prior, the family had converted to Christianity. After Partition, her father was deployed to the newly-formed Pakistan, and he was on kafila duty that was assigned to army personnel on either side of the border: escorting the Hindu refugees from Pakistan who were migrating to India, and Muslim refugees who were migrating to Pakistan. Nobody expected the border to turn into an iron wall, Yameema says.

During those kafila duty trips, Yameema’s father would have the chance to meet his family. He would also visit his former commanding officer, General Rudra. During one such trip in 1948, he saw Yameema’s mother, Indu, who was General Rudra’s niece. He would say that he knew at that moment that he would marry her. They continued to meet with family around, and During the next four years, the two of them exchanged letters across the border, and eventually married in 1951 and Indu Chatterji moved to Lahore. Yameema was born in 1956, the oldest of three daughters.

Music flowing through the generations

Yameema’s mother Indu was a trained Bharatnaytam dancer and had travelled to Madras to learn from Lalita Shastri from Kalakshetra. When she moved to Lahore following her marriage, she adapted Bharatnatyam to Hindustani music.

When Yameema’s father was still in the British Indian army, he had a roommate who introduced him to Hindustani music. “An English fellow in their unit would say, ‘What gargling are you listening to!’ My father was so angry that he listened to the music all the more, as an act of defiance. Later, in Pakistan, whenever we were transferred to different cantonments, there were always mehfils, and that’s how my sisters and I were raised in a purist tradition of Hindustani music,” Yameema remembers.

The family would visit India in winters, which is also when concerts took place. Obtaining visas was never easy. Once, her mother did not receive the NOC from the Pakistan government to visit her family in India, and her father promptly offered his resignation. “The commander in chief laughed and told my father to not be so impetuous… Despite the border, I was raised between both countries. It is one of the luckiest aspects of my life, and my biggest treasure is a religiously diverse family,” says Yameema.

During her teenage years’ visits to India, she had the unique opportunity to learn at the Gandharva Mahavidyalaya in Delhi. She worked as a journalist in Lahore, and later in Islamabad, and also studied in the UK. She worked for Oxfam in Pakistan, and raised her two children in Pakistan until they were ready for secondary school, when they moved to Ireland. “Just like I would visit India for winters during my childhood, my children visited Ireland annually and would be enrolled in various summer camps in Ireland.” The children also grew up being exposed to Hindustani music as she did in her childhood. The family moved to Ireland in 2007 when Yameema was 50 and her older child was 11.

In Ireland, she encountered the Indian Classical Music Society, of which she has been an integral part. There were already four Irish men who had been learning Indian classical music, and a South Indian mridangam player. When Yameema’s sister—also a Bharatnatyam dancer—was visiting Ireland, they organised one of the first concerts. “The Irish lads invited their gurus to Ireland and arranged performances, and we all just got on like a house on fire. This community of musicians—Irish and from the Indian subcontinent—became some of my closest friends and apne log in pardes,” Yameema says, while remembering how she would fetch musicians from the airport in the middle of the night and then spend hours cooking elaborate meals.

While living in Boston, USA, some years ago, she was surprised to see the scale of the arrangements for the annual Indian classical music festival where 300 people signed up as volunteers. “I met the person who started the festival and told him of our miniscule efforts in Ireland; how I feel despondent. He smiled and told me that what I saw was 30 years of hard work. That really inspired me to keep dedicating my energies to developing an interest for Indian classical music in Ireland,” Yameema tells me this, after helping organise recitals with many visiting artists: tabla maestro Debojyoti Sanyal and sarod-nawaz Saugato Roy Choudhury from Kolkata, and other dancers and musicians. Yameema knows too well the struggles of bringing artists from the Indian subcontinent to Ireland, due to visa issues and the non-guarantee of a large audience, unlike in the US or London.

A life of navigating visas

Many years ago, during one Indian Republic Day event in Lahore, a young civil servant told Yameema that after the age of 68, a person from either country—India and Pakistan—can visit the other easily. This was music to her ears. “The young man told me that he had never seen anyone feel so excited about turning 68! But that never really happened.” The last time she was able to visit India was in 2016. Since then, several close relatives have passed away without her being able to meet them.

She has seen how the elders in her family have embraced ageing with zest; they continued to pursue their own interests, even after they had become grandparents. “My mother still lives life with enthusiasm, and taught dance till she was 87 years old. One of my aunts, at the age of 40, lived with her partner for the next 48 years, in a time when it was a very radical thing to do, she worked in theatre, and always had a different perspective on the world.”

Reflecting on ageing in Ireland has brought to the fore many contrasts. "We say in Pakistan that a few strands of white hair and a few extra pounds gives a person more respect. It is nice to be an older woman in the subcontinent, because it gives a certain status of respect. But people there also grow old easily because of this: people respect the elders and so people can just fit into an elderly role and not move and just grow old faster. But in Ireland, the older people are marginalised because of their age, but they also have a choice to create a new role for themselves and stay young.”

Yameema says that one may not feel old, but age is something that one’s knees and bones feel; when she is unable to stand for long hours to cook for 20 people. “Irish society expects older people to get on with life, which I think is tougher. So maybe they stay younger by sheer will. But for me, having children late in life kept me younger. People now want their grandparents to fully embrace that role, but older people are resisting this everywhere.”

Apart from championing Indian classical music, Yameema is also pursuing her PhD in Ireland, wherein she is researching the portrayal of Pakistan in Hindi cinema. “People tell me, ‘Why are you bothering yourself with a PhD at this age?’ I tell them that I actually enjoy doing it, rather than wasting my time sitting in other people's homes, listening to tales of the family! I am, after all, a product of the two countries and the borders have defined my life.”

Yameema understands how the name “Indian Classical Music Society” has kept away people from the rest of the subcontinent from getting involved. “One Indian musician living in Ireland had raised this issue about the name, but that was vehemently opposed, because the society largely comprises Indians. So that is problematic, if the music is not viewed as arising from the Indian subcontinent, rather than just the country. This is where it can become parochial. That is also why I want to be an active and visible member, because my presence is a marker of the inclusivity and syncretism of this music, of resistance to it becoming any one’s property,” says the contrarian 68-year-old.

From activism to awareness, gardening to grandchild bonding, older women across India are sparking change and how!

On International Women's Day, we want to highlight the achievements of older women who have come together to share their wisdom, preserve our heritage, and inspire us with their life lessons. These women are not only shattering ageist stereotypes but also proving that activism, social media, and making a difference are not just for the young generation. Social media in particular has seen a surge of older content creators who are using their expertise and experience to educate and entertain us. Even off social 

Women Power Combined

Meet Hutokshi Rustomfram, Shubhada Nikharge, Hutoxi Arethna, Dr Sheila Tanna, and Katie Bagli. They are members of the Save Rani Bagh Botanical Garden Foundation, a group of older women who are not afraid to don the activist hat. Rani Bagh, located in Byculla, is Mumbai's largest and most visited public green space next to the zoo with over 4000 trees from more than 250 different species. The garden is a heritage green lung the city cannot afford to uproot, with trees that are over 500 years old. In 2007, the women who often came here for nature walks were shocked to learn about the BMC's proposal to turn Rani Bagh into an international-style zoo and night safari experience. This would have meant the loss of this piece of nature.

The women swung into action, formed the Save Rani Bagh Botanical Garden Foundation, campaigned, filed public interest litigations and made people aware of the heritage they would lose. They have worked tirelessly to raise awareness about the garden's beautiful history since then by conducting nature walks and doodling workshops at the garden to maintain that interest. The group has also published a book of photos to celebrate the anniversary of the garden. Through their efforts, they hope to ensure that Rani Bagh remains a green oasis for generations to come.

Speaking of strong women coming together, we must mention Shubhamastu in Kolkata, an all-women team of priests that has revolutionised religious rituals by eliminating patriarchal traditions like Kanyadaan, all supported by reason and a profound knowledge of customs and ceremonies. Shubhamastu is a charitable trust run by Dr Nandini, a Sanskrit professor and theatre actor and the brain behind this concept. Together with her fellow priests, many of them above 60 like her, they have broken gender stereotypes and even conducted Durga Puja rituals in Calcutta, inspiring a movement towards gender equality in religion. We also adore how older and younger women have come together to make this change.

The Grandchild Bond

It's common to see grandchildren these days helping their grandparents to showcase the skills and talents they have acquired over a lifetime. One such example is the grandmom-granddaughter duo, Sheila and Yukti Bajaj, who run a business called Caught Craft-Handed. Another star is Urmila Asher, who goes by the name Gujju Ben Na Nasta on YouTube. Sheela Bajaj creates the products, and her granddaughter Yukti takes care of marketing and finance. It's heartwarming to see how a grandchild has helped her grandparent, who has been through losses in life, to showcase her talent and earn an income, giving her a sense of purpose.

The ever-smiling Gujju Ben would have blessed your Instagram, Facebook, and other social media feeds by now. She was a Masterchef contestant and is also a motivational speaker. Despite the loss of three children over the years, Urmila's enthusiasm, energy, and incredible zest for life continue. It's not easy to become a YouTuber at 77, but with the support of her grandson, she has not only found her own fan following but also helped him rebuild his life after an accident. Find her story here on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OwR6_ais5aI

Wisdom of the Years

Lalitha Chelluri Rao, a gynaecologist with several years of practice, runs an Instagram account named Fifty and Fab. Along with sharing pictures of her lovely saris, she also provides information about important issues that affect older women such as menopause and coming from a history of strong working women. Her account is an honest depiction of the hard work and rewards that are part of a busy doctor's life.

Adity Chakrabarti is the author of the coffee table book "Rehaish—At Home in Lucknow" and runs an Instagram account named Decor by Adity. She had a small role in the Mira Nair-directed series "A Suitable Boy", but it was her book that caught Nair's attention and inspired the houses used in the series. Through her account, we get a glimpse of her beautifully kept and styled vintage home, very useful home decor and gardening tips, and the old-world charm of Lucknow. Adity also showcases Lucknow's architectural heritage and timeless traditions. For instance, did you know that Gulabo Sitabo was not only a film starring Amitabh Bachchan but also a traditional puppet show from Lucknow? Check her account to know more about this fun fact!

We love how older women are coming on their own by showcasing their talents, challenging beliefs in many cases and highlighting their talent through various mediums be it by coming together in their activism, or, as is very common these days, sharing their life and what they do on social media. All of them have lessons for many of us to emulate and a great way to incorporate knowledge and lifelong learning into our own lives.

Here is a special women's day nod to all of them.

Note to our readers: We have only highlighted a few women here. However, if you know of more pathbreaking older women who are forging their trail, grannies on the gram who are taking over social media and cracking down on stereotypes or older women who are turning the tables upside down anywhere, please share with us on editor@silvertalkies.com

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Our member Meena Eashwar reflects on her 96 rich years, starting with how World War II impacted her childhood.

I was a carefree young girl studying in Loreto House, Calcutta, when World War II broke out. There was utter chaos all around, and for safety's sake, many people shifted their families out of the city to safer places while the men stayed back in Calcutta. Our family was one of them, and we moved to our ancestral place in Kerala while my father stayed back.

Our village had no English medium schools in those days, and the local language was alien to me. Unfortunately, that was the end of my formal education, and I was home-tutored from there on. Except for my early schooling in Loreto House (to which I can attribute my English ), I have no formal education to my credit. This was a sore point in my life and still is sometimes. I was very hesitant to meet my contemporaries who were better accomplished academically than me. Over the years, I got over that feeling. I realised that just formal education, though desirable, does not speak for a person's overall capability and personality. I began to explore other avenues and means to enhance my knowledge.

This was the first time we were with Grandpa on an extended basis. Earlier, it was only short visits during vacations. I remember him as a very kind person, and we called him Ithappa. Though his name was Naratanaswamy Iyer, nobody actually knew him by that name.

There is an interesting story behind the name Ithappa. Being the eldest in the family, he was known as "Mootha Anna" to all his siblings. In due course, he became Mutthanna to all of them except the youngest, who called him Ithanna. Down the line, it became just "Ittha" to everyone in the village, too!

Grandpa had an inborn power for healing most day-to-day problems, and the people would get their children to him for treatment. I was unaware of holistic healing then and was intrigued by his healing power. Many years later, when I learnt Reiki, I was reminded of Grandpa's healing powers. 

He used to chew betel leaves and, not wanting to waste the leaves, tended to use up the ones turning yellow first. We used to tease him; this way, he would never get to chew the fresh green Ieaves.

Life in rural India was very much different from city life. There was no electricity, no running water and very poor sanitation. Potable water had to be fetched from far-off wells. The affluent would hire help to get potable water, while the others had to manage themselves. But life went on normally, and people were also quite happy. 

Since there was no running water, except for babies, young children and elderly people, the concept of bathing at home was not there. Everyone went to the nearby rivers or ponds for their daily bath. Soon, I learned to bathe in an open place with dignity. 

Then came marriage, children and family responsibilities, which hardly gave me any time to spare for myself. Once they grew up and were on their own, I turned to my ambitions and enrolled on a Reiki course. In due time, I did my Mastership and initiated people into the system and healing. I still send Distant Healing on request but find it taxing to initiate any longer due to my age.

I have always liked to learn. As we were in Delhi, I learned knitting on a self-taught basis from books, which came in handy when my children were young. A few of them are still there and have been handed over to the next generations as heirloom pieces. 

A few years before my husband passed away in 2005, we made a Family Tree, retracing the family members to over 300 years ago. It was indeed a Hercules project we had undertaken. But for our firstborn Parmesh, who also joined us in the venture, it would have been impossible to have completed it successfully. We took it up as a challenge and made it possible. 

My son ran around to computerise the details we got, getting them printed and bound into a book. 

My husband was in touch with our relatives living in Hyderabad, and they were very happy to hear about our project and willingly shared whatever information they had. My job was to gather as much information as possible from our relatives living within and outside our country. I had never met many of them, and it was tough getting their contacts, introducing myself, explaining the purpose of contacting them, and getting the required information. We had fixed a nominal price for all the effort we had put in and the expense we had incurred for the project, and everyone ungrudgingly bought it for the price.  

Later, when my grandchildren went abroad to pursue their studies and livelihood, I published a cookbook for them. The book is written in a straightforward and easy-to-follow format for even a novice cook. All of them greatly appreciated the book as they yearned for the home-cooked food they were used to.

 Click here to read more about the book

I now live in the Athulya Senior Care and Assisted Living facility in Southern India. Such places are no longer taboo, unlike the earlier Old Age Homes. Many people prefer to avail of similar facilities, thus giving themselves and their loved ones the freedom to continue their lives without guilt. 

My son Parmesh is also in the same facility in Chennai. His daughter and my daughter are both in Chennai and visit us often. 

I have no regrets about the ups and downs I have experienced in life and only look forward to more. At 96, I joined the Divine Chants class conducted by music therapist Rajam Shankar for Silver Talkies and also dabble in writing and knitting. 

By the way, Rajam is featured in our Family Tree. She and my husband are second cousins. 

I hope the rest of my life goes smoothly and I will have a peaceful exit from this world when my time comes. 

Cover image: Royal Air Force Operations in India during World War II (Courtesy: Wikimedia Commons)

Calling our Members to Write for Us!

Silver Talkies Members get a unique chance to get published with us. We welcome opinion pieces, travelogues, family recipes, memoirs, oral history accounts, short stories, poems, humour and personal essays, tips on living well and if you are a qualified subject matter expert, then your thoughts on your chosen topics as well. Email us at connect@silvertalkies.com to know more!

(A version of this article in Tamil previously appeared in Ladies Special Magazine, March 2003. Girija Raghavan, editor and publisher of Ladies Special, has kindly consented to us publishing the English version of the article here)

Editor's note: 

Meena Eashwar is the author of No More Secrets- A Grandmother’s Treasure Trove of Tam Brahm Recipes & More. Published by Notion Press, the above article was the first step into the world of writing before the book. 

“Writing was the last thing I ever wanted to do till a  few years back when one of my sisters requested me to write an article for a Tamil magazine. I am not fluent in written Tamil and had no intention of obliging her. Moreover, writing was not my cup of tea. Much as I tried an escape route, she refused to accept a "No" from me. She insisted on my writing in English and said she would translate it into Tamil. The topic, too, was tricky ‐The relationship between a mother-in-law and daughter-in-law in real life. Reluctantly, I agreed to her request. 

However, I wrote something fairly acceptable and got off with it. It came in the March issue of "Ladies Special" magazine, 2003. That was my first published article ever!! Thus, I owe my primary thanks to my sister  for introducing me to the  world of writing.”

Meena Eashwar tells us that she learnt to cook at the tender age of 16 when she found herself in the culinary deep end soon after her marriage! That was when she did not even know whether milk was added to curd or curd to milk for making curds! She says the first time she made Sambar on her own, way back in 1944, it looked and tasted like nothing on earth. But today, at 90 plus, she has come a long way from that stage! She brings over 75 years of experience cooking for her five kids, in-laws, friends and relatives.

Her cookbook is a collection of easy-to-follow recipes. While most of the dishes are from Tamil Nadu and Kerala Cuisines, there are a few recipes from other regions of India, too.

“Inevitable”, she points out, “given the background of my cosmopolitan family - my three daughters-in-law hail from Bengal, Gujarat and Maharashtra, one of my sons-in-law is a Mangalorean Christian, and the other a Palakkad Iyer”. She herself has lived in Palakkad, Madras, Bombay, Calcutta, Hyderabad, Delhi, Nanded, Karimnagar, Bidar... “Don’t forget Rangoon and Colombo in my early years”, she adds.

DID YOU ACHIEVE WHAT YOU WANTED? Ramana Sista reflects on the answer to the question by looking back at life.

Throughout childhood, the dream of becoming an engineer and visiting England fuelled my aspirations. Inspired by my engineer uncle and the iconic film "Barrister Parvathesam," my journey began with limited resources but unwavering determination. No one talked of going to the US in those days.

My forefathers were landlords. When my father's turn came, lands were gone; only lords remained. My turn was a hard childhood. Parental support for education ended in the middle of class ten when my father lost his job. With the support of a few relatives who provided accommodation and boarding, sharing in four different houses a week, I completed Class Ten from a Telugu medium school. Hopes of further education, let alone engineering, were dashed, but the burning desire continued. I didn't even have two rupees to go back to my native village till I received a money order from my father. After spending a few idle months in my native village, I moved to Hyderabad. I did a few odd jobs as a minor, joined Nizam College Evening classes for learning while earning and completed my Graduation in commerce. 

In pursuit of better opportunities, I traversed across the cities of Hyderabad, Bombay, Delhi, and Calcutta until I finally found my professional haven at IDL Industries Ltd. in Rourkela, which has since transformed into Gulf Oil Corporation. Here, I secured a role that resonated with my career aspirations. During my tenure, I seized the opportunity to enhance my skills by obtaining a PG Diploma in Materials Management from IIMM, Bombay. Additionally, I actively participated in numerous short-term management courses and workshops conducted by esteemed institutions such as IIMs, iIPM, NITIE, and Management Consultants, all sponsored by IDL.

My career graph steadily moved towards the North, owing to strategic moves orchestrated by IDL. These transitions led me from Rourkela to Calcutta, back to Rourkela, and eventually to Bombay, where I gracefully concluded my professional journey as the Senior Divisional Manager upon reaching the superannuation age. The culmination of my extensive service in this dynamic environment marked a gratifying and enjoyable phase in my life.

Embracing the wisdom of Omar Khayyam's philosophy—"Dead yesterday, unborn tomorrows, why fret about it if today be sweet," I adopted a liberal approach to life, generously allocating my resources towards family, children's education, entertainment, and those deserving of support, all while maintaining a comfortable standard of living. This carefree disposition enforced immediate follow-on.

I joined a Chemical Industry in Raipur, assuming the role of Vice President. Being a Certified Lead Auditor for ISO Quality Management Systems (QMS), I was nominated as Management Representative. I shouldered the additional responsibility of designing, implementing, maintaining, and continually improving the Quality Management Systems for the entire group.

After an enriching eleven-year tenure, I embarked on a challenging journey as Vice President, lending my expertise to a Task Force dedicated to revitalising a closed Chemical unit in Rajasthan. The success achieved during this endeavour paved the way for my eventual retirement in December 2013 as I gracefully bid farewell to my professional life.

The biggest takeaways from my professional life are:

1) True Friends, made along the way, from business acquaintances, government officials, police, railways, Bollywood, etc.

2) Fond memories of love and respect from staff and colleagues; management's encouragement, support and recognition.

3) Strong, life-long, IDL family bondage, special and peculiar only to IDL. We have an Ex-Idl Google group for keeping track of each other's whereabouts, welfare, activities, and progress of the children. We get together every year on the last Sunday of January in Hyderabad. 

4) Name and goodwill in the Explosives and Mining industries, especially Coal India.

Nothing can be more gratifying. This is what money can't buy.

In my personal life, I found contentment at the age of thirty-six when I married a loving graduate homemaker. Blessed with two accomplished sons holding Masters in Engineering and MBAs, our family expanded internationally. My elder son excelled in a US-based company as Principal Technical Product Manager. The younger one became a Director with Deloitte Consultancy in the UK. He married an Associate Director at Johnson & Johnson. They are blessed with a 13-year-old girl and a three-year-old boy.

But why these thoughts now?

One fine evening in May 2013, my elder son said, "Papa, let us go to Switzerland during the four-day long weekend." We left by car after breakfast. The beautiful four-lane road has thin and regulated traffic throughout. Covered 500 kms. Distance from Luxembourg to Switzerland in four and half hours, passing through 400 km.of France, Basel City, the hub of the Pharmaceutical industry of Switzerland, housing MNC giants Novartis, Pfizer, Roche, and so on. When we entered the Interlaken town of Bernese Highlands, the main tourist attraction of Switzerland, we felt a sudden transformation of the atmosphere as we got a bit closer to nature.

After immersing ourselves in the enchanting landscapes of Switzerland for two days, we embarked on a picturesque journey from Grindelwald Station to Kleine Scheidegg. The train ride unfolded as a captivating blend of Railway romance, Mountain majesty, and dreamy scenery, tracing a mesmerising path through the heart of the Alps. Covering a distance of 9 km, the railway traverses through a tunnel ingeniously crafted into two mountains, featuring two stations within the tunnel itself. Descending at these tunnel stations, we marvelled at the neighbouring mountains through strategically placed windows along the mountainside. The journey spans approximately 24 km, with a maximum incline of 120 degrees, making it a true engineering marvel.

We reached Jungfrau - the Top of Europe - in about an hour. The main complex is accessed directly from the station hall. We began with the Alpine Sensation Round-Tour Subway, always following the "TOUR" symbol, covering the past and present of the Jungfrau Region. The first attraction was "Jungfrau-Panorama - a 4-minute 360-degree cinematic experience, an inspiring audio-visual journey through the Alpine world at 3454 meters above sea level. A world of ice, rocks, snow and clouds. Other attraction halls were Little Dreams of Switzerland, Time Travel to the Early Days of Tourism in Jungfrau Region, Pioneering Spirits of Guyer Zeller, the architect of the Jungfrau Railway, and Ice Palace, covering over 1000 sq. meters. area with countless passageways.

We went to the Glacier Plateau. My wife and I moved to the plateau, braving the slippery ice with childlike enthusiasm despite our son's pleas not to go. At one point, I almost lost control but held on to the rope. My son stopped my wife midway, but I climbed to the top, where the Swiss flag was first hoisted on Top of Europe. It sent my spirits soaring, and I was awed by the grandeur of the majestic icy mountains and felt as if I conquered Mount Everest.

We took the lift to the Sphinx Terrace for a stunning view of the surroundings. They say the view extends to the neighbouring countries, France, Germany, and Italy, in fair weather.

Yash Chopra produced many world-famous movies, and most of the scenes were shot in Bernese Highlands. There is a park where paragliders land, fondly named "Yash Chopra Park", adjacent to a restaurant. Many scenes of Dil Wale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge were shot here. In the park, you will find a notice scripted by The High Commissioner of Interlaken acknowledging Yash Chopra's contribution to inspiring more Indians to visit Switzerland. More and more South Indian movie scenes are being pictured here. 

We strolled in this park after dinner - in bright daylight, it becomes dark only after 10 PM. The following day, we returned to Luxembourg.

I may not have firsthand knowledge of Mount Everest, but a breathtaking panorama unfolded as I gazed downward from the Sphinx vantage terrace at an elevation of 3471 meters.

At that moment, I reflected on the extraordinary journey that had lifted me far beyond the aspirations of my childhood self, a journey that began 56 years ago when I harboured no ambitions for my future. Over the years, I've witnessed the vivid tapestry of life, painted in its diverse and vibrant hues. Looking back, I can confidently assert that I have no regrets about not pursuing a career as an engineer. The path I've traversed has proven that my happiness lies beyond the confines of that profession.

Modesty prevents me from saying that I am proud of my achievements in academics, professional life, personal life, in the upbringing of children, and giving them a scholastic launching pad for rewarding careers. 

"Contentment" is the name of the game in Life's Journey. A discontented man has no right to take away one man's health, the other man's wealth, and the third man's wife. He has to change all in all or not at all.

God has been kind to me.

Calling our Members to Write for Us!

Silver Talkies Members get a unique chance to get published with us. We welcome opinion pieces, travelogues, family recipes, memoirs, oral history accounts, short stories, poems, humour and personal essays, tips on living well and if you are a qualified subject matter expert, then your thoughts on your chosen topics as well. Email us at connect@silvertalkies.com to know more!

Sreekala GR has let experiences make her richer in her post-retirement 

'You must ask her about her post-retirement life, says Trivandrum-based Sreekala GR's daughter Krishna Priya when I reach out to her after spotting a video on Instagram of her mother rocking a Nangyarkoothu performance on stage at 67. Nangyarkoothu is a traditional temple art form of Kerala, and Sreekala, as it turns out later, has steadily, with regular practice, honed her skill in it. 

Sreekala, a retired bank officer, worked at the State Bank of India for her whole career. She joined in the late 70s after graduating college and retired in 2016. "I gave it my all," she says, mentioning that she grew up with a sense of perfection given the atmosphere at home. "Even though I was giving my 100% at work, I realized it affected the time and attention I could give to my family." "She was a workaholic," her daughter Krishna Priya comments, but I don't think she was happy.

Being a busy working woman in the late 70s and early 80s with two children to raise wasn't a cakewalk, Sreekala remembers.

"When I was nine months pregnant with my daughter, I walked two kilometres every morning to catch the bus to the bank. In the evening, I often had to miss the bus on time because I had a client and couldn't leave at 5 pm. Somedays, I would reach home as late as 9.30 pm. I suffered a lot, managing both fronts – home and office."

Even in 2023, women still struggle to balance their home and work responsibilities. Most would say the same thing that Sreekala says, remembering her working life, (almost) echoing the title of British author Allison Pearson's famous book: I don't know how I did it!

What Sreekala really knows and has brilliantly chalked out is her life after retirement. Only difference? It isn't exactly what she had planned. "Actually, I was looking forward to retirement. I used to read a lot earlier, but once I became busy with the bank, I couldn't find time to read as much. So, after retirement, I just wanted to return to my reading habit. I planned to buy lots of books and spend my time reading."

But life had other plans. Sreekala's parents, TP Radhamani and P Gangadharan Nair were famous All India Radio artists in Kerala. They passed on a love for culture, and Sreekala inherited a passion for singing. She was soon convinced by friends to join music groups that held performances. "You have a beautiful voice. You should sing, they told me and were very encouraging. So now I am part of three music groups, always practising, performing and busy," she laughs.

Watch Sreekala's Nangyarkoothu performance here: https://www.instagram.com/reel/CwMpaxuoDU-/?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA%3D%3D

There isn't much time left to read with the myriad activities she is involved in, but Sreekala has found a solution of sorts, though one for the greater good.

She has read stories and novels for the visually impaired for the past seven years. She records them for half an hour daily and shares them through WhatsApp groups. "These are groups for visually impaired people from diverse backgrounds. I enjoy it. When they comment on my reading, my self-confidence really goes up."

In her retired years, the diversity of activities, from music to social work, has given her a new purpose. She may have lost her husband many years ago and is adjusting to a different routine after a workaholic life, but she never feels lonely or at a loss for things to do. "I feel that I'm even busier than I used to be when I was working. But this busy is a different kind of busy. We are not answerable to anybody. We can do whatever we like."

Sreekala's other love is the dance form Thiruvathira. A classical temple dance form from Kerala is also practised during Onam. She has been performing Thiruvathira since she was a child. After retiring, she began learning other dance forms as well. Her years have only added to Sreekala's enthusiasm. "Now I feel that I can take up anything. 

Where does the confidence to explore and learn come from? Sreekala says it comes from the people around her. "They motivate me to do more because they appreciate me so much, especially my daughter and son. So, when I receive appreciation, my self-confidence increases."

Krishna Priya, Sreekala's daughter, agrees. "Now that she is doing everything she wanted to do, I can see how happy she is! That makes me encourage her to do more!" Like many other active senior citizens, Sreekala too has faced her share of unconscious ageism, with "well-wishers" telling her not to take on too much because she will strain herself. 

"When I hear this, something inside me tells me you can do it. Even with those who encourage, the desire to do something has to be within you." 

She may not have seen her retirement years going beyond reading "lots of books", but Sreekala's constant search to keep herself motivated, engaged, and a forever learner is a book many of us could take a leaf out of. 

Do you know of a senior citizen constantly searching for new learning like Sreekala? Share their story with us.

All images courtesy: Sreekala GR & Krishna Priya 

Author, Divinity at Play (Sri Sathya Sai Baba)

The Process: I self-published my book. I drafted the book, got the draft printed by a printer and edited by a fellow Silver Talkies Club member. It was reformatted by a publication distributor and marketed by a distributor, Amazon and myself. Now, but for three copies with the distributor, test all Sold. It took me one year to write and publish. The book was released in November 2021.

The Idea: Intrinsic motivation to write about my experiences in a specific field.

Favourite feedback: Reviews were received from notable people like Amitabh Bachchan, Sachin Tendulkar, Sunil Gavaskar, Justice Saldhana, wife of the CJI, among others.

Justice Saldhana wrote a full-page feedback. I got a call from actor Aishwarya Rai, who said it was fascinating reading. She had passed it on to other family members.

That First Book Feeling: I had a sense of self-satisfaction and achievement.

Is your book connected to your previous career, professional life or a life experience you had?

It's based on my life experiences. 

Are you writing another book currently? I am now in the process of writing another book, this time on leadership and management.

As a senior author, did you bring insight into the book that you may not have been able to bring in your younger years? 

Yes. The book's genesis was the need to develop implicit faith in one's Divine to accomplish or resolve one's problems.

Many people feel they should explore writing a book. What would your advice be? Does everyone have it in them to become an author?

One needs skill, fluency of written expression, dedication to the task, considerable patience and an art of sequencing.

Revathy Bhasker                                             

Author, Baker's Dozen

I'm the author of one book and several anthologies. StoryMirror Infotech published my first book. I had participated in a few writing contests conducted by StoryMirror, a web platform. When they offered me to write a book, I took it. Earlier, they had selected my poems for their anthologies.

The Process: This book, launched in June 2023, is a collection of thirteen short stories written over a year. My stories and poems have been published in other anthologies by StoryMirror, HydRAW and Inkfeathers.

My Favourite Reviews: Col Achal Sridharan gave me 5.0 out of 5 stars on Amazon. His review said: Excellent storytelling by Revathi Bhasker—an excellent collection of stories. Revathi Basker writes lucidly, and the narration is simply superb. It is worth reading and keeping a copy in your library. I wish for many more books from her  

While reviews on Amazon are generally quite flattering, outside reviews are also soul-satisfying. I liked the part when someone said each story has an underlying optimism and positivity.

That Ffirst Book Feeling: I felt quite cool as my granddaughter released it when it was launched in Mumbai in June 2023.

Awards: This book, as such, has not won any awards, but I was awarded the second runner-up trophy for the author of the Year 2023 (Editors' Choice) by StoryMirror. I was among the frequent winners in their First-ever Inter-active Novel Contest.

The Idea: The stories in this book portray various emotions and capture different moods of the characters and their reactions to the situations they face. The characters are drawn both from imagination, experience and daily life.

Are you writing more? Yes. I am committed to launching another book. It is likely to be both prose and poetry. As it is still being conceptualised, it is quite early to share details.

As a senior author, did you bring insight into the book that you may not have been able to bring in your younger years?

Life is a good teacher - it tests and teaches. Writing a book in one's silver years has an advantage over writing when young, as our vast experience and maturity can influence our writing skills.

Many people feel they should explore writing a book. What would your advice be? Does everyone have it in them to be an author?

Everyone has a story to tell. It just depends on whether it is their passion or not. There is always no harm in penning one's thoughts. Over time, one can hone the fluency, continuity and skill to write a book.

V Desikan

Author, Brindavan Express: A Train of Thought

I self-published my book through Bookventure in Chennai. It's a collection of 75 blogs and articles, including some published in the Deccan Herald, with a readership of over 4.5 lakhs. TS Sudhir, a well-known journalist, encouraged me to write and even featured some of my work on his South Reports blog. My blogs are also available on WordPress and Blogger, so my book only required a little editing. It took me a while to come up with the title. My son suggested "Brindaavan Express" as a pun on the words "train of thought" to represent the two cities I write about, Chennai and Bangalore. For new authors, I suggest going through many reviews to check for grammar, spelling, and other errors. Get your work reviewed, acknowledge and thank people who helped you, and dedicate the book to someone you love. It's best to price your book low and publicise it through social media platforms like Twitter and Facebook. I chose not to promote my book, but I wish you the best of luck if you decide to do so. 

The compilation is over eight years. The book was published in 2017. 

Favourite Feedback: Here's one: Brindaavan Express is a collection of narratives from a simpler time. Based largely in South India in the seventies and eighties, the book chronicles the life of the author across forty years, from his earliest days as a schoolboy in Madras to his thoughts as a grandfather reflecting on modern society. Written in simple prose, in a style reminiscent of R.K.Narayan or P.G.Wodehouse, Brindaavan Express is the kind of book you will find yourself reaching for when you're packing your backpack for an overnight journey or when you are curling up for a lazy afternoon on the couch. Here's another feedback from writer friend Mr Nagarajan, who has authored over 100 books and is writing daily. It was very encouraging:

 https://tamilandvedas.com/2016/12/25/book-review-brindavan-express-by-mr-v-desikan-post-no-3481/

 That First Book Feel: Although I used to read books, I never thought I could be a writer. So, during the book release, I felt very happy.

The Idea: The book is based on life experience mostly - technology, food, music, novels, humour, crystal gazing

Writing more: I have written some middles in Deccan Herald. I need to write some more before compilation.

As a senior author, did you bring insight into the book that you may not have been able to bring in your younger years?

I published technical articles in foreign journals and symposium papers in my younger years. So, I never thought of writing books. I once wrote a story for a Tamil magazine in 1980 and got Rs 25! If I get inspiration, I can write an article in one day, which happens once every six months.

Should senior citizens write if they are keen? A definite yes! Everyone can write. First, experiment with writing blogs on sites like WordPress, and then try writing stories or your life experiences. It is better to avoid criticism of people or systems. Try to be humourous without offending sentiments.

Self-Publishing Platforms in India

Notion Press:

Founded in 2012, Notion Press is a leading self-publishing platform in India. It offers various services, including editing, cover design, and marketing assistance, making it a one-stop solution for aspiring authors.

Amazon's Kindle Publishing:

Amazon's Kindle Direct Publishing (KDP) platform has revolutionised self-publishing for Indian authors. With KDP, authors can publish their e-books and reach a global audience on Kindle devices and apps. They retain control over pricing and distribution and can promote their books through Amazon's ecosystem, including Kindle Unlimited.

There are a few others that may work for you:

Pothi

A platform that allows writers to publish and sell books and e-books without waiting for manuscript approval 

Partridge publication

An imprint of Author Solutions LLC that publishes print-on-demand books and e-books. 

Goya Publishing

Goya Publishing is a self-publishing platform for first-time authors. It helps authors prepare their manuscripts for publication.

Author photographs: Silver Talkies

Cover Image: Pixabay

Are you a budding author? Share your publishing experience with us below.

We discovered he had been a little boy who participated in the Quit India Movement in Mumbai (then Bombay). Of course, he was only 7. His best memory of it? The burning of an effigy of Winston Churchill. At 7 years old, Bhatia didn't know who Churchill was. But the chance to play with matches, with grown-ups watching, was irresistible.

Arun was a young at heart octogenarian. A University of California graduate in 1956, he had some fascinating stories about his brush with Hollywood. Like many students, Arun did a multitude of odd jobs to pay for college, which included being an extra on film sets or working part-time at restaurants.

He wrote about seeing Jerry Lewis make everyone laugh at a Hollywood party that had famous actors like Rock Hudson, Doris Day, Gary Cooper, and Robert Mitchum. Arun was present there as a bus boy and years later the memory was a fun story for our pages.

Arun was an expert swimmer and it led to more Hollywood adventures of the oddest kind, including playing a shark (yes) in a film in 1953. You can read it here for a dose of laugh: A Shark Attack.

Our favourite remains a story about the missing Toblerone, showing his humour and love for Gita, his wife who passed away in 2006.

There was a lot of creativity behind all the self-deprecating humour. Arun was a popular ad film model and also an accomplished artist. He once shared the painting of a diver, done by him sometime in 1957, when he returned to India from college.

In his later days, as he got sick, he would email us to share his struggles. One of them was especially poignant:

At the age of 12 in 1947, I underwent my first surgery, a six-hour operation in the operating theatre for an ear ailment (mastoid operation). Fast forward to now, at the age of 88, and I've experienced multiple surgeries involving my ankle, heart, spine, prostate, knees, eyes, and teeth. Many of these surgeries led to post-op ICU stays, where I would regain consciousness from anaesthesia and undergo the process of recovery.

Technology has contributed to increased longevity, so I am still around, almost a robot. I am grateful for the ability to venture out in my adult diaper and enjoy simple pleasures like panipuri but the concept of ICU, designed for "complete rest," has me baffled. Each ICU visit has proven more demanding than the actual surgical procedure. Medical professionals emphasize the need for total bodily rest but often overlook the psychological toll of isolation on the mind.

Lack of human contact does not equate to true rest. The absence of information regarding the duration of my stay in the ICU feels harmful. A regular touch or conversation with a nurse, doctor, or paramedic every quarter hour could make a significant difference. Some ICUs even seem pitch dark, intensifying the emotional strain, which, in turn, influences the healing process.

Yes, medicare is a business. Yes, the surgeon has done his/her job in the OT and said 'rest" He/she did not say 'torture'. However, there seems to be a gap in emotional support during the recovery process. Overworked staff may struggle to provide this support, but volunteers, NGOs, or college students can be recruited to offer much-needed companionship.

It ended with his trademark humour:

Upon gaining consciousness at some ICU once, I thought I was dead! I tried to find out by touching my nose. Did I have it? Does it prove anything?

Goodbye, Arun. Thank you for sharing aspects of your varied life with us. We hope the heavens are echoing with laughter, anecdotes and songs with you there.

Sunita Nerale is everything you expect and many things you don't. At 60, Nerale is the creator and owner of a camper van called Caravan Sakhi and probably one of the only women in India to be so. It's parked in her Pune home and she uses it for both personal trips and commercial activities. The senior entrepreneur has worked hard to make her spur-of-the-moment dream of owning a camper van come true. But it's the story behind that dream which makes her who she is.

When we meet her on a rainy day, she warmly greets us near the caravan,  proudly showing every corner, and telling us of her cherished travel plans, especially for groups of women. Many women still do not think of stepping out with their friends on their own, says Nerale. They worry about what their family would think, unfinished chores, and their safety. Nerale hopes her Caravan Sakhi will provide them with a day of fun and independence in a safe environment. After spending time with her, we aren't surprised that Nerale had this key thought guiding her while creating Caravan Sakhi. Despite facing many challenges in life, she has an infectious positivity and a never-say-no attitude. And she wishes there were more women like her, standing up for themselves and reclaiming their lives.

Nerale grew up around strong, positive women. Her mother, a single woman, worked hard as a teacher, determined to give her daughter an education and a ground beneath her feet, which contributed much to her self-confidence. In 1985, Nerale finished a civil draftsmen course and began working as a civilian for the military in Pune. She was only 21 and worked hard, leaving her home at 5 a.m. to catch a train to her workplace. Hard work and putting herself forward were not alien to her. She took charge and made herself valuable, unlike other girls she observed. "I was a natural leader," she says, and looking at her, we have to agree. It's hard to imagine Nerale as anywhere but the forefront. There is an inborn leadership quality in her that makes her a woman to reckon with, even if that comes riddled with battling a society quick to point fingers at strong women.

Nerale circles back to her mother, now 84, when we mention this. "My mom had struggled as a single woman to raise me herself. She wanted me to stand on my own two feet and did not want to put any doubts and fears in me. It ensured I followed my path no matter what came."

The path has been a rocky one. Nerale's arranged marriage in her early 20s ended in divorce because her husband lied about his qualifications and work. She was criticized for working long hours and chatting with male colleagues. "My husband was weak, and his parents thought he would change after getting married. They wanted me to leave my secure job and fix their son!" Nerale tells us. "Women are not a factory for improving inefficient and incapable men, I told them!" 

After her divorce, Nerale focused on social work and her job. She enjoyed organizing activities and serving on employee welfare committees. "At work, I have always been a go-getter and a lone ranger," she says, in the context of being the only woman in several areas, at least in the early 90s.

Nerale never let setbacks in life hold her down; she remained lively and outgoing. "I had an interest in everything, whether it involved cooking, participating in competitions, dancing, organizing or facing court cases for pointing out corruption. I was game for it all."

Around this time, her life took a turn she didn't expect. She was abused and forced into a marriage with a violent man, from which she couldn't escape. It took 10 years for Nerale to get out of the relationship and put it behind her. She faced judgment from close relatives and friends who thought she lacked character. She remains stoic about it.

"I had no choice but to get married. We have all seen the fate of abused women in our society. Only women know what they go through. Only women know the decisions they make and why they make them. Unfortunately, it is also only the women who are judged. I lost over a decade of my life with these problems. It may have made me stronger, and given me the resources to cope with anything that comes up. But it also ensured I went from being a fun-loving, happy-go-lucky, outgoing girl to a woman hardened by fate. I don't much care what people think of me. I have to now live for myself."

As she restarted her life close to the 50s, Nerale left her job of 25 years. "I needed to do something that I enjoyed doing. I needed not to base my life on what people thought of me. I needed to start on a clean slate."

The idea of having a caravan came from a TV program and because Nerale wanted to "see the world". A campervan or caravan is a vehicle that you can both travel in and live in and is great for road trips. Nerale bought the vehicle and then used her drafting skills to design the campervan's interiors. Her vehicle is approved by the RTO and meets all the legal requirements.

Nerale's journey to Caravan Sakhi wasn't without challenges, but she is the kind of personality who chooses to look at the positives. "I knew I had to do this. So I didn't question it and steadily worked towards it. In fact, within the means I had, I have given this caravan the best quality design. When I have to do something for myself, why do it halfway?" she says, adding that she and her friends did a long-awaited personal trip to Hampi and Badami in Caravan Sakhi.

When we went to interview Nerale, we were expecting to meet a strong, active 60-year-old woman. We met that person and more. We encountered a woman who had endured hardships but still remained optimistic, helpful and ready to help others. She showed us around her caravan and explained every detail, her pride in the design evident.

The back of the caravan holds a water tanker and even a foldable board for chopping vegetables. Ever thoughtful, Nerale has provided a separate space with an LCD player for the driver who may have long hours of waiting in the caravan during a picnic or long drive.

As we wrap up our interview with Nerale, she expresses her desire for more and more people to use the caravan - especially women who are finding friends as they grow older, women who are finding themselves, and women who are discovering independence. Nerale discovered it years ago but has found the time, space, and peace to act on it only now. We hope Caravan Sakhi takes her to many places.

Is there a dream you've discovered as you came close to your midlife like Nerale did? Let us know what it is in the comments below.

All images: Silver Talkies 

-- With inputs from Rushika Sharma

Senior entrepreneur Purobi Kagti's Pickle Project blends family tradition and her memories of Assam.

Purobi Kagti’s pickles grace several dining tables in Bengaluru. The 76-year-old senior entrepreneur relocated to the city to be with her daughter in 2014 and was eager to embark on a new project to keep herself busy. During her years in Assam, Kagti crafted beautiful handpainted saris and traditional Assamese sarongs called Mekhela Chadors. Keen to put her creativity to use, she teamed up with daughter Shivani Kagti to explore pickle-making, an area she was well-versed in. The result was Pickle Project, a homegrown company that sold pickles, inspired by Kagti’s time in a remote village in Assam where she ran a tea estate with her husband. Frequent power outages sparked the necessity and passion for the art of food preservation and pickling.

At the tea estate, Kagti perfected the art of pickling various meats and vegetables and discovered innovative techniques to preserve food. With a strong influence from Assamese cuisine, the Pickle Project ensures all the ingredients are hand-picked and the spices freshly ground; including spices such as panchphoron, a spice blend from Eastern India. The recipes abstain from chemical preservatives and Kagti attributes the knowledge of these recipes to her mother and mother-in-law. She also draws her inspiration from her upbringing in Assam. Some recipes are cherished heirlooms within her family and hold a beloved spot. Pork pickle, Chilli in yellow mustard and the sweet and tangy tomato relish are customer favourites and find their roots in the days when surplus meat from the family’s boar hunting adventures was preserved through pickling. 

Kagti and Shivani believe in crafting everything freshly and in small batches. They promote their products through flea markets, including the popular Sunday Soul Sante, and various pop-up events across the city. Through these platforms, they have successfully cultivated a loyal customer base who continue to place repeat orders. Products are shipped to customers across Bengaluru with delivery apps like Dunzo and Telyport.

Recently, Kagti and Shivani teamed up with five like-minded creators to establish the Busy Fingers Collective, an initiative that Silver Talkies member Madhu Mehra is also part of. This collaborative effort enables them to showcase their creations at various venues throughout the city. The Busy Fingers Collective includes independent artists dedicated to the celebration of handcrafted work and promoting indigenous art and craft traditions. With six local brands including the Pickle Project, each product they put out is a labour of love. These range from sustainably made soft toys, smocked dresses, embroidered clothing,  knitted accessories, sterling jewellery silver jewellery, homemade pickles, and natural dye textiles.

Being a small home-based business Kagti maintains minimal overhead costs. Their main expenditure revolves around buying ingredients and bottles. Another significant expense involves securing stalls at exhibitions where they typically sell between 200 to 300 bottles depending on the event’s footfall. They offer samples allowing people to savour their pickles before making a purchase. The duo initially launched six pickle varieties and has since expanded to ten distinct options including Tomato, Brinjal, Chilli Mustard, Hot and Sweet Chilli, Mango, Sour Mango, Cabbage, Lemon, Chicken and Pork. Customer favourites in the vegetarian range have proven to be the Tomato and Brinjal and among the non-vegetarian range, the Pork pickle shines through.

The Pickle Project is a labour of love and it has helped to have creative family around. “We realised that apart from having a good product, it is important to package it attractively. Hence, we sought the help of friends and family members,” said Kagti’s daughter Shivani candidly. Tridiv Das, a family member who heads a creative agency in Bengaluru designed their logos and labels free of charge. Purobi’s eldest daughter Julie has played a pivotal role in the final packaging of their bottles. Family support and contributions have been instrumental in enhancing the visual appeal and aesthetics of their brand.

The other factor that helped has been social media for brand discovery and customer engagement. Shivani manages their social media presence through the Instagram account @pickleproject.blore and it has helped the customers who tasted their pickles at pop-up events to come back looking for more. 

With such an unusual repertoire of pickles, we hope Purobi Kagti is dreaming up more flavours of pickles! 

All images courtesy: Purobi and Shivani Kagti

Finding Me: A new series on growing older & bolder

Deepika Shergill is a behavioural, leadership and life skills trainer and coach. She is also a mother, a caregiver, a daughter and quite the Instagram influencer with her candid take on everything from her two sons to her sarees. We love her views on being older and bolder and spoke to her to find out how's she rethinking ageing at 61 along with her mom Kamlesh Gill, 86, the veteran actor who wowed us as the no-holds-barred daadi in the Bollywood hit Vicky Donor.

You are a caregiver and a proud daughter. You were also your mother's manager when she was active as an actor. Tell us about her journey in the movies and how as a child you've encouraged her and kept her going.

Mom Kamlesh Gill has been acting since she was 19! She is 86 today and was among the first women on the Delhi stage. We hark back to the 1950s when she was much a Queen of the Delhi Stage. She was also among the first artists on television. Cinema and TVCs were natural along the way. She was 75 when Vicky Donor happened in 2012, which catapulted her into the spotlight. She has been very independent and has managed on her own. But sometime in 2014, she was on two big projects - Bang Bang with Siddharth Anand and Kick with Sajid Nadiadwala. The shoots were in Manali and Mumbai respectively, closely paced. And, there was a mix-up that happened on the dates. That is when I stepped in to help sort things out and found myself taking on the mantle of her ‘manager’. 

More importantly, it was a decision to let her not have to deal with the ‘logistics’ per se and enjoy her work. The main tip I can speak of while helping out an active older adult is being wired in. I have had no experience in the showbiz. I learnt on the job per se. I manage her food, travel, and stay. I travelled with her and ensured she had a place where she could put up her feet in between shots, and have a nap if possible. I would transcribe her script in Devnagri for ease for her to memorize them, and help her with that too. I’d keep an eye out on her footwear, for instance. My focus was her interests need to be protected. There were filters too and we discerned when choosing from the work that came her way. I’d discuss her creative choices with her, about what lit her fire more. She is a performer and likes to dive deep into her roles. In her 60s, she had just retired from the Railways (she had worked with them for 40 years), and was actively involved in social work at a new community hospital that had come up in the neighbourhood. And was an active member of the apartment management community. A doer. It has been important for her to be ‘doing’ something.

How old are you and how old do you really feel in your mind? Why?

I'm 61 years old and I feel my years too but in a good way. I feel a product of my years. Empowered and more my own person. It took me a while to get here though. But how old do I feel really? I feel am 18 still and the rest are just the years of experience! There is so much more to know and learn which I can now ‘combine’ with what I have gathered over the years. How cool is that! I picked up my first DSLR camera at 53 and at 61 I'm exploring photography professionally. Am sometimes the ‘oldest’ in a photography workshop and the one with the most questions :). I'm now my own person. More me. Unapologetically me. No facade. No layer.  

What has growing older given you? And has it taken away something from you?

Growing older has given me the years. And, life in those years. Through the twists and turns, upheavals and churns. Like they say, what grows in fire won’t wilt in the sun. Am a survivor. I don’t think growing older has taken away anything for me. It has only been added. Years. And no regrets. Yes, there are times I’d have liked more energy and wish I was able to run and climb stairs. But that's okay. I still manage to get where I want to. Sab changa! 

You have 46,000 followers. Tell us your Instagram story. 

The trigger was an interest in sarees, and to showcase pictures. To keep the drape relevant. Along the way, I realised I am more of a storyteller! I tell stories. My handle bibi.about.town is more about a middle-aged woman (bibi in Punjabi), an urbane woman and her prism about town. I am a story collector of the everyday. My Metro rides. The tiny escapades. Some social issues (mostly women-related). Glimpses. And, I feel my audience relates to a lot I write about too.  

Here's a short anecdote with her mother that we absolutely loved: https://www.instagram.com/p/Cv1Rs0XyWAd/?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA%3D%3D

Are you the same person you were when younger? How is Kamlesh Gill, your mum different from who she was when younger? Would you know?

About Mom, I think she is much the girl she was. Driven, restless. The first girl in her village who completed her Matric (the school opened the doors for other girls after her), and the first woman on the Delhi stage. She is a pathbreaker. I have come more into my own now. I was quieter when I was younger. It isn't easy to quieten me down now:). 

We love how you drape your saree in a casually chic way. How has your sense of style been and has growing older influenced it?

Dressing is a matter of choice. And, as women evolve and grow, THEY need to be able to define what they wear. Not the clothes on them. I define my style more by convenience and comfort. More street-style since am out on foot and walking a lot. Sarees with tees, for instance -- to send out a message that YOU can style your saree the way YOU want, and inspire the younger generation to pull out their mom’s sarees too. My colours are decidedly brighter! I need the brights for the energy. I need that dose sometimes :)

What are the lessons learnt from your mother as she grew older? 

The curiosity and restlessness. Being exploratory as she has been. 

All photographs courtesy: Deepika Shergill

How have you changed as you grew older? Did you evolve differently as a person or have you always been the same? Share with us in the comments below.

A motley bunch of older adults find themselves making a podcast to share their knowledge. They find themselves richer for the experience and share their learning

November 2021 or thereabouts. We began our audio trip at the request of the National Institute of Social Defence (NISD), Ministry of Social Justice and Empowerment*. The brief was simple - create podcasts aimed at improving the lives of senior citizens in urban and semi-rural areas.

We thought this is what we were asked to do:

While the podcast is a national programme, we felt we should do the podcasts in English and Tamil as our experience and stories would be more relevant and useful to our audience. Who were we addressing? Urban, semi-urban, tier II towns, men and women above 60 and youth who generally group together (the influencers). We knew the need to market the programme as radio is not a strong medium in current-day media reachouts. 

That was the easy part. 

We were a whacky team of oldies, respectfully addressed as seniors. The team had more than fifty shades of grey in our heads and bodies. We were a small part of the Covai Vani Podcast team, but audaciously, we called ourselves the Core Think Tank! Welcome to the fabulous and majorly dysfunctional team behind the microphones, ready to pretend that we could talk, croak, creek, stutter and mutter our way into the ears of the hapless listeners.

The Motley Crew

● A lady we called the Toll Gate Snacks Bar - a banker, social worker and storyteller.

● A prim and proper lady who not only wrote the Queen's English but also crossed the “t's" and dotted the “i” s when she spoke. A journalist, writer and consular communicator.

● A Tamil scholar and poet who found his roots and true calling after 40 years in the U.S. and came back home. An engineer and entrepreneur.

● An accomplished singer whose voice was melodious, spiritual and multi-lingual. A banker lady who had lived in more cities than the bank had branches in.

● And finally, the Guru of sillies, the master of mischief, and the town joker, with his contagious laughter and offbeat sense of humour. A corporate communication specialist he called himself, though all his colleagues wondered what that was.

We were so good, so bad and so sad, that it was only after 100 episodes, that we felt the need to think of making a kind of “How To” on podcasts. And that too, when the Government asked us to make a presentation on podcasts.

Here’s what we said in our presentation to the Ministry:

The name podcast may be modern, but the practice of conveying messages through voice is age-old. All Hindu scriptures were passed on by voice from the Gurus to the disciples. Our Vedas, Mahabharata and Ramayana were communicated and handed down in this manner for several centuries. The Bible tells us that God himself spoke the Ten Commandments on the Mount of Sinai. It is believed that Prophet Muhammed received messages from God through oral information alone. So voice as the medium was always there.

Did you know that podcasts actually came before the internet arrived in our lives?

In the 1980s, voice enthusiasts reached out to audiences via what was then known as audio blogging. But distribution was a problem and it faded away. Podcasting was developed in 2004 when Adam Curry, a former MTV video jockey (VJ), and software developer Dave Winer, coded a program known as iPodder, which enabled them to download Internet radio broadcasts to their iPods. Today, there are more podcasts than ever before — over two million shows and 48 million episodes, and the number of podcasts is growing exponentially, according to Apple Podcast. The rebirth of voice happened, aided by the internet and other technologies.

This Is How We Do It

We share our learnings, experiences and a guide to producing, uploading and reaching the right audiences through podcasts. We begin by trying to define who we are talking to.

God reached the whole world regardless of religion. We are but a tiny speck in the southern tip of India trying to reach out to senior citizens in and around Coimbatore and other parts of Tamil Nadu, such as retirement communities, districts and village panchayats. Our voice will reach them through radio, smartphones, health centres, Asha workers, OB Vans, websites, etc. And we intend to make a difference. With our voice. And our podcasts.

Ideation and content creation are the most critical parts of a good podcast. 

There are only three ways to do it. 

Prepare. Prepare. And Prepare. 

The podcast group sits and brainstorms on ideas for topics and execution. We need to decide on the topic and the format first and break up each subject into sub-themes. The format could be a solo voice, interview, co-host, group discussion, expert speak or celebrity interviews. Each person from the group has a penchant and talent for a particular subject. Here are a few examples of topics - health, wellness, mental health, nutrition, music, counselling, entertainment or infotainment. And a lot more.

Here's what the team members had to say: 

“I can do interviews with eminent doctors, banking-related issues, mental health, specific issues related to seniors, cooking, online education and games”. 

“I love music and can do episodes on all national and festival occasions. What I would love to do is to analyze the style and genre of music directors. There are so many avenues open in classical, folk, film music and Bhajans”.

“My forte is storytelling and interesting interviews. I’d like to read extracts from my stories, do evocative pieces on a variety of human interest subjects, and do interviews with seniors and experts. 

“I can break down wellness into several areas and also do podcasts on entertainment and infotainment. I love talking to seniors about our problems and managing them. I am actually the generalist in the team”.

We had the content. Now we had to ensure that the quality, voice and overall recording were of a high standard. A professional recording and dubbing artiste pitched in with his advice:

Good podcasts brand themselves well, consistently and emotionally. Transcripts can be used in blogs for the hearing impaired as well as for people who love to surf websites. We should get ourselves listed on Spotify, Apple and Google podcasts. We learnt that it may be useful to even try business networks like LinkedIn by recording a short trailer and providing a link to the main podcast. Word of mouth is really a great way to spread your message and social sites like Facebook, Reddit, Instagram and Quora are also good to be associated with.

Well, we done it.

That was about some newbies telling you how to take an audio journey at your own risk and at no cost. In the end, podcasts are all about relatability, experiences, learnings, laughter and memories. We are a delighted lot.

Here's where you can hear us: https://i-radiolive.com/podcast/channel/nisds3covaicare

Good to know: CovaiCare has been chosen in Tamil Nadu by the Ministry of Social Welfare, Government of India, for their initiative “Anubhav”, a Pan India Project to help create and spread awareness programmes for senior citizens throughout the country.

All photographs courtesy of the author

Cover image: Pixabay

Have you ever explored recording a podcast on your own? Do you listen to them? Share your experiences and favourite podcasts with us in the comments below.

Would you know of the experiences your family went through during Partition? Share them with us here or mail them to editor@silvertalkies.com 

Four older athletes from Kerala are regular winners at sporting events for senior citizens and tell us what keeps them going.

Sports and activities are a good way to keep yourself mentally, socially and physically away from the weakening conditions of old age. There is abundant research supporting the need to be physically active during your older years. Meet four veteran sportspersons from Kerala who are shining examples of that. For them, age is not a barrier. Their sheer dedication and hard work have won them numerous accolades in various sporting events organised for seniors. 

“I want to do this as long as I am able to, I am really looking forward to growing older and winning more medals!”

That’s Sebastian Kadalikattil, a retired professor of Botany from Kottayam who came out triumphant along with another veteran swimmer Kurian Jacob in the 2023 European Masters Games in Finland. Sebastian won two gold medals and a silver in the 50-metre, 100-metre butterfly and relay competitions in the 80-84 age group. Like many others of his generation, Sebastian learnt to swim at a young age in a nearby river. His first participation in a Masters event was in his hometown Pala, Kottayam after retirement in 2011. He won the swimming competition at that event and since then has participated in and won medals across various meets. Watching people of much older age groups actively getting involved in the competition has kept him motivated. Sebastian and Kurian were the only Indians of their age group who were at the European Masters event in Finland, both overjoyed about representing India. “Growing old is inevitable but being physically active makes ageing easier; even a 10-minute swim a day is very invigorating.” says a cheery Sebastian, who is encouraged to continue by his family of four sons and a daughter.  

Retired banker Kurian Jacob is from Kottayam too and has loved swimming ever since he could remember. His childhood days were spent wading in the fast-flowing river in front of his home. A water polo victory in a university sports competition sowed a lifelong interest and competitive spirit in him for sports. In the European Masters Games 2023 held in Tampere, Finland, Kurian bagged various medals in the 70-74 age group. He won three silver medals in the 800-metres, 400-metre and 100-metre freestyle along with bronze medals in the 4+50 medley relay and 4+50 freestyle swimming races. Kurian first heard about Masters championships in 2019 and from then has participated and won approximately 50 medals at state, national and international levels.

He attributes his fitness to intermittent fasting.

“It has really helped me along with the six days a week swimming I do regularly. Not only does it keep me active physically it has also enhanced my mood!”

Kurian enjoys fermentation and cooking in his leisure time and his kombucha is much loved in his close circles. He lives in Kottayam with his wife Sunnu. Both his daughters reside overseas and are very supportive.

Sebastian and Kurian feel senior athletes need more encouragement. The duo plan to write to the state Ministry of Finance in Kerala to suggest the idea of offering cash awards to those who won medals at national and international levels. They feel this would incentivise many hardworking athletes as travel expenses are a lot to bear by themselves.

Vasanthi Vijayan cannot miss the 4 am walk that she does every day as part of her fitness regime. She has loved athletics since childhood and used to take part in school sports events secretly as her dad didn’t support it. “At that time, girls going out or being involved in sports was frowned upon but I never cared for it,” says Vasanthi.

The love was further cemented when she worked at McDowell’s for 25 years and would take part and win in sports events hosted by the company. Going for Masters championships seemed a natural progression. In the Asian Meet of 2016 and 2017 held in Singapore and China, Vasanthi won silver medals in racing in the 70-74 age category. Even an accident and hospitalization in 2018 didn’t deter her from participating in sports meets. However, travel expenses are a burden for Vasanthi. Her three sons work as labourers and they, along with relatives and neighbours contributed to her travel fund which helped her go to the previous Asian meets. Vasanthi has no plans of giving up on her medal dreams.

Vasanthi Vijayan is trying to raise Rs 1.25 lakh for the forthcoming Asian meet in the Philippines in November 2023. If you are willing to contribute or share her story please email us at editor@silvertalkies.com and we will connect you to her.

Running and winning medals keeps Elsa CD, a retired Circle Inspector in Thrissur, Kerala, motivated and fun-loving. She won a bronze medal in Javelin throw, and three silver medals in the 200 metre, 100 metres and 400 metres at the National Masters Athletic Championship at Kolkata this year. Elsa made her debut at a Masters sports event in 1989, and from then on, has participated in nine Asian meets and four world meets along with multiple national and state meets. The countless medals she had acquired over the years are so many that they are kept in pots and pans at her house, she told this reporter lightheartedly.

“I usually get a physical checkup every time before I take part in an event. I exercise regularly at the stadium in the city to which I take the bus,” Elsa said when asked about her fitness routine.

She is also a Thrissur district champion in the All-Kerala Police meet. Funds are a problem for Elsa too and she has taken loans to finance her travels to competitive events. “Winning is my biggest motivation,” says Elsa who lives with her younger brother in Thrissur and plans to continue participating in sports events for senior citizens and winning medals with the same ease.

Good To Know: Senior citizens need to participate in Masters Athletics Championships. The Masters Athletic Federation of India is responsible for conducting these championships and selecting sports candidates from the ages of 35 and above for Asian and World meets. The federation is an extension of the governing body of World Masters Athletics. The Swimming Federation of India (SFI) is the governing body for aquatic sports in India and oversees the Masters swimming races. They are affiliated with the FINA Fédération Internationale de Natation and ASF Asian Swimming Federation. 

Athlete's and Swimmers' Images are courtesy of them

Cover image: Steven Lelham on Unsplash

Are you into sports? Have you participated in any competitive sports events in after the age of 50? Tell us about it in the comments below or email editor@silvertalkies.com

Come with us on a tour of RK Narayan's home-turned-museum in Mysore.

In a quiet lane in Yadavgiri, Mysore stands a simple house with red oxide floors. It was home to RK Narayan, creator of Malgudi Days, Swami and Friends, The Guide and one of the stalwarts of Indian literature in English. The house is now a museum. It gives enough glimpses into the iconic writer's life but leaves you wishing for more.

  'In his autobiography, My Days, Narayan says that he picked out this particular spot to build a house because of the frangipani tree, which was in full bloom at the edge of the plot,' writes Hema Ramaprasad in Scroll. He describes his study as “a bay room with eight windows that affords me a view in every direction: the Chamundi Hill temple on the south, a variety of spires, turrets, and domes on the east, sheep and cows grazing in the meadows on all sides, and railway trains cutting across the east-west-slope.”  

The house would have been lost to property development like most old houses across our cities do, had it not been for a public outcry and a newspaper campaign. After Narayan's death in 2001, his family could not maintain the sprawling home and sold it to a property developer. A Mysore-based newspaper campaign to preserve the author's legacy sparked enough public outcry to push the Mysore Urban Development Authority into action. The house was declared a heritage property and further construction wasn't allowed. Eventually, the government purchased it from the developer and restored it into a museum..

As we left, we wondered how the writer's last years were spent in this massive home, left alone after the death of his wife and daughter Hema, whom he lost to cancer. As his friend N Ram says in the framed article: That day, just hours before he went on ventilator, he asked me, "Can you bring a diary today?" I said I would. He then asked, "Will it be a 2000 or 2001 diary?" I told him we would get him a 2001 diary.

Till his last minute, he thought only of writing. At the same time, he would say, "I have become lazy after I entered my nineties." 

All photographs: Silver Talkies

Have you visited the RK Narayan House? Or any other author home that created an impression on you? Share your thoughts with us in the comments below.

In February, we announced -- THE WRITE HOUR: A Story Writing Contest for Members of the Silver Talkies Club. A big round of applause to our members Preeta, Geetha Prasanna & Ramana Sista for their wonderful and heart-winning entries that were the Three Best Entries. Here's Geetha's story.

Our theme:  The Different Loves- Love can have different forms, bonds and adaptations. 

Preeta, Geetha and Ramana's stories reflect those special loves. Enjoy the read.

MY PRECIOUS GEMS by Geetha Prasanna

It was the coldest day in Mumbai after 65 years. February 7th, 2008. The temperature was eight degrees in the city. We rushed to the hospital to welcome the bundle of joy, my daughter's baby, who had arrived at Breach Candy Hospital. The cold vanished, and we were filled with a profound sense of warmth and joy as we held the little baby girl; we were proud grandparents. What followed was indescribable. 

"What kind of love is this?" I thought to myself. I knew the love I felt when I held my own daughter. However, then my mind and body were exhausted. I then knew this was "irresponsible love". Just enjoy her. No stress at all.

Every milestone of hers, every little utterance, made us laugh and clap with joy. I saw my husband becoming a child himself to play with her. As a busy young mother, I hardly had time for my own babies. Yet, this was such a gift and so precious.

I felt awful and emotional when my husband retired and we shifted to Bangalore. But, funnily enough, I didn't cry when my daughter left for her husband's house. On the contrary, I was happy for her, perhaps! The little toddler had stolen our hearts. She is now a pretty fifteen-year-old teenager.

So, fourteen years later, another miracle occurred. My son and his wife had a baby girl in April 2022 in Atlanta in the US. The emotions are the same. The distance is huge. Thanks to technology, we see her often via video calls. A simple thing like her clapping while I sing a bhajan, fills my heart with joy. My favourite pastime is to view her videos innumerable times. She is adorable, and my daughter-in-law's mother and I think she is exceptionally bright. Perhaps a bit biased.

Since I am a speech and language therapist, I carefully monitor the baby's speech patterns, quietly researching to check when she babbles and waiting to hear her first word emerge.

Grandmothers are known to enhance their grandchildren's knowledge of mythology and tell them moral stories. So, since she will grow up in the US, I will make sure that I teach her all the wonderful Indian stories and fables that we grew up with. 

I still remember how thrilled the elder one in Mumbai was when we gladly flew down to be part of Grandparents' Day celebrations. She proudly showed us off to her teachers, and we, in turn, enjoyed listening to all the praise they showered on her.

Children are definitely evolving to be much brighter than we were. Her ability to paint portraits and use any medium to produce wonderful works of art astounds me.

Discipline and grandparents! That's a very sensitive issue. However much I step back, I remind her that talking back is wrong. I am unable to play the popularity game. However, it will pay off in the long run. My clever husband never disciplines! He is always Santa Claus and a kind old Grandpa. 

I am very grateful to my children that, unlike most working couples, they did not expect us to babysit their offspring. Instead, both mothers took a sabbatical. It's the most stressful job for older persons to monitor a child's food, sleep and safety constantly. So many grandparents are terrified for the kids' safety. 

Never interfering in how they are being brought up requires a lot of self-control. I am amazed that I am able to. My children are intelligent and know when to draw the line before their single child gets spoilt. A tough proposition in today's world. 

We didn't have to face this terrible problem of preventing kids from always using devices and barely reading. Instead, our kids played outdoor games. It's a great challenge for today's parents of Gen Z kids. 

My elder grandchild is obsessed with wildlife photography, and our safaris together in jungles are most thrilling. I remember her excitement when she saw Saaya, the black panther, deep in the Kabini forest. I am amazed to see her waking up at 5 am for safaris at Jim Corbett and Bandhavgarh national parks. She takes fantastic wildlife pictures and entertains me with all her jungle tales. 

She is quite amused that I am not the traditional grandmother. She enjoys getting into the pool with me to do aqua aerobics, do a Bollywood dance with me or play a good game of table tennis. She encourages me to dress trendily and teaches me to do digital painting. There's so much to learn from her. 

Now her friends are very important in her life, and all elders are bound to take a back seat, but that's about teenage life. I always pray that she makes the right choices. 

She introduced me to the Avengers and told me she fancies Loki, the Norse God. So I painted a portrait of Loki for her. She thinks I am an excellent dancer, and her grandpa is an outstanding singer. It feels good to be praised by the little ones.

Seeing my son as a good father taking care of the baby and my daughter-in-law, I am happy that, at last, there is equality in the tasks of raising kids. However, my husband always helped and was a role model for my son. I know the little one will surely be the apple of his eye!

I am sure that every grandparent shares the same emotions. Some of them are lucky to be living with them too. I am glad that at least one of them is in India. I know will be increasingly difficult to meet the one abroad at some point, but I hope they come to India often. 

I am filled with gratitude each day for my two grandchildren.

A grandchild fills the space in your heart to such an extent that I am counting the days to fly to Atlanta to celebrate the second one's first birthday. 

In conclusion, my husband and I found that gold pot at the end of the rainbow. 

Special words from our judge author Meera Rajagopalan:  Thank you for this! It is such a lovely piece, and so much from the heart. The part about the birth of the baby, the cold outside and the warmth inside is really evocative. I also like that you talk about being a different kind of grandmother. 

Please share your feedback in the comment box below. 

Here are the other two winning stories. 

Loki: The biggest love of my life

The Love & Dignity of Labour

Cover image: Pixabay

Congratulations to our winners, and keep writing!

In February, we announced THE WRITE HOUR: A Story Writing Contest for Members of the Silver Talkies Club. A big round of applause to our members Preeta, Geetha Prasanna & Ramana Sista for their wonderful and heart-winning entries that were the Three Best Entries. We will share their stories here one by one. Here's Ramana Sista's.

Our theme:  The Different Loves-Love can have different forms, bonds and adaptations. 

Preeta, Geetha and Ramana's stories reflect those special loves. Enjoy the read.

LESSON IN LOVE FOR DIGNITY OF LABOUR.

By Ramana Sista

Christy Wilcent is 29 years old and stands tall at 6'-1'.

In my 82 years of life, I have seen life and love in all its colours and hues. But Wilcent's love for the dignity of labour is intriguing, unusual and rare.

In 2016, Wilcent called us, on the phone number given to him by a service provider, to offer deep-cleaning services for our apartment at a price agreed to by the service provider. 

At 9 a.m. sharp on the appointed date, the 22-year-old, well-built, athletic Wilcent and four workers with a heavy-duty commercial vacuum cleaner, mops, tools, a ladder and different chemicals needed for various applications knocked on our door. 

Without wasting time, he rolled up his sleeves and trousers and personally got into the job of mopping and cleaning, leading his four workers by example. After a brief 20-minute lunch break at 1 p.m., they continued the job. By 5 p.m., they had cleaned all fans, toilets, bathrooms, shower partitions, wardrobes, bookshelves, lofts, kitchen cabinets, balconies, glass panes, floors, blinds and every inch of the 1876 sq ft. apartment, giving it a sparklingly new look. 

My wife asked him to clean the washing machine drum too, which he did willingly. 

Piqued by his command of English and the professional touch in every activity, I asked him about his educational background.

"Sir, after B.Com., I did MBA from Imperial College, Jayanagar, Bangalore."

"Why didn't you go for a job?" 

"I wanted to become a Police Inspector, passed the first test but failed the second test because I didn't pay the daunting amount demanded for selection. Then, I decided to be on my own."

I was dumbfounded because while Wilcent was on the job, it was difficult to differentiate between him and his workers, job content-wise. When asked why he needed to come through a middleman, he said that, being new to this field, he could only get customers if attached to a reputed agency. That was only an introductory service on payment of 10 per cent of the charges for use as a launching pad. After that, satisfied customers call him directly. 

Quite happy with the quality of work and pleasant attitude, we have been using his services every six months since then. We continued with his services when we shifted to our new apartment in Yesvantpur.

When I paid his charges for that day's job, he said, "Sir, it is less by Rs.1,000/-." 

I said, "I paid as per last year's charges." 

"No, sir, last year the charges were increased for the enhanced scope of work: polishing a five-seater leather sofa with special oil and the carpet. You can check your bank account." 

I recollected and paid the balance but said, "The service provider's charges are much less than what you charge. Yet, I called you because of our six-year association." 

"Sir, I work on behalf of that company also, but that work gets over in two/three hours of sweeping, dusting, and mopping, and we finish two apartments in a day. The quality is entirely different, and we engage less labour for them, leaving the customer unsatisfied. That reflects on the service provider's reputation. Only when you use their services will you know the difference. In fact, I am slowly moving towards interior designers and established customers like you to protect my reputation. 

“In your case, I engage more labour and devote more than 8 hours to complete the job till I am fully satisfied.”

Wilcent, an MBA degree holder, is humble, soft-spoken, goes the extra mile and aims at customer delight.

The dignity of labour is in every job that is dutifully done with humility, honesty, sincerity and love.

Special words from our judge author Meera Rajagopalan:  A beautiful narration of a love that many of us express but rarely think about -- the love for what we do. The reader can easily imagine Wilcent, and each of us can recollect at least one Wilcent in our lives. In just under 650 words, we get a peek into the characters of Wilcent, the author, and even the author’s wife. Kudos! 

Cover image: Monica Robak/Pixabay

Please share your feedback in the comment box below. And watch this space for the other best entry award winner this week!

You can read Preeta's story here: Loki: The Biggest Love of My Life

A civil servant's initiative to build an elder-friendly community has made a difference to senior citizens in Jharkhand's Jamtara.

Kartik Mandal is a retired high school headmaster. Like many senior citizens, Mandal was resigned to an uneventful life after he stopped working -- sitting at home, running a few errands, and meeting his contemporaries occasionally. Quiet and largely dull.

Since January 2022, the 65-year-old's days have been anything but that. Instead, he spends his day conversing and sharing life events and anecdotes with friends in a club near his house. All of them are over 60 and members of an Elder's Club in their village in Jamtara district, Jharkhand. 

The Elders' Club is the brainchild of Jamtara's District Magistrate, Faiz Ahmed Mumtaz. Each of the six blocks in the district — Nala, Fathepur, Jamtara, Narayanpur, Karmatand, and Kundhit-- have an Elders' Club, and any resident aged 60 and above is an automatic member.

About 10 percent of Jamtara's nine lakh population is above 60. The club has been an experiment in transformation for many of them, giving them community support and empathy from peers.

How It Started

When Mumtaz looked at older adults around the district, what stood out was loneliness and sadness. "Most senior citizens were at a stage where they weren't considered important enough. They were physically fit but resigned to a lonely existence, not doing much; some were waiting for life to end because they had nothing to look forward to. They were existing," he told Silver Talkies.

Jamtara is notoriously known as the 'phishing capital of India.' To solve the problem, Mumtaz had set up community libraries across the district earlier. It was his innovative way to redirect the misguided youth from the neighbourhood towards knowledge and education, an ongoing effort.

Setting up the Elders' Clubs was a natural solution to the purposeless state and depression Mumtaz saw around him. His solution was to renovate old, dilapidated buildings in the area and create Elders' Clubs in each of Jamtara's six blocks. Everyone contributed in some capacity to give this story of community building a beautiful beginning. The Police department and civil administration donated chairs, weighing machines, and indoor games. Some local businesses donated televisions and furniture. IOCL donated refrigerators for each club. Residents contributed wherever they could.

A beautiful garden and park surround each Elders' Club. "Sometimes, our grandchildren drop in to play, and we have a good time," Mandal says. He's grateful for this because it leads to a special time that may not have happened at home. 

Mandal spends his mornings at the club reading books and magazines, watching some television, and doing Yoga, a practice he had started in his schoolteacher days and has now managed to revive with his peers. There is no time to be bored, he laughs. Instead, his days are pretty packed. "We exercise together. Several indoor games are provided at the club so we play carrom board and Ludo with each other very often. There are holy books across all religions here, and we browse through those when we want. It's good to know more about other religions to understand people matter." 

A dedicated space often leads to discussions they wouldn't have had otherwise. Mandal and his friends have had energetic and deep conversations. "We talk about our youth, the old days, our lives. It's a small village, and many of us know each other, but we share stories of happiness and sadness, our griefs and joys. The best part is there is someone to share it with." 

How It's Going

At Narayanpur block, 25 km from Jamtara, Narayan Poddar is a widower who had almost given up hope, depressed after his wife's death. He now presides over the local Elders' Club, which started on December 25, 2021. He talks to visiting schoolchildren about his school days, shares his day with fellow members, and is a changed person, says his peer Phanibhushan Misra, 62.

The social network and special focus have worked positively for the members' emotional wellbeing. "I feel good, and that feeling of loneliness is gone. Ekakipan feel nahi ho raha hai, aisa lag raha hai ki saath me sab hai,” says Misra, who was a farmer. "It feels like a community that has come together now." "We come here voluntarily, with a free mind. No one is forcing us to. So this makes a lot of difference and shows in our behaviour with everyone around us, too." 

The Elders Clubs are all managed by a member-run maintenance committee where every member takes turns to keep the premises neat and clean. The events that they organise are also based on their likes. The Narayanpur members also help some needy senior citizens who have no place to call home and have pooled resources with the help of the block development officer (BDO) to offer shelter to these homeless seniors. "We help them with food and other necessities to the best extent we can," Misra said.  

  Beyond the fun and games, there is a look at health and legal matters that can keep the elders safe. A poetry competition was organised recently to encourage creative members. The Elders' Clubs also focus on learning and addressing issues of dispute and abuse that older adults often face but find hard to communicate. Apart from monthly physical checkups, the seniors here are counselled about problems like elder abuse and the Maintenance and Welfare of Parents and Senior Citizens Act. In addition, the members, along with the BDO and other officials, have helped sort out situations for other elders in the neighbourhood. "Sometimes it is easier talking to someone your age about these things," they say.  

  Society has to become sensitized about senior citizens, says Mumtaz. He adds that it is hard to measure the impact of such innovations, but in the past year, he has observed the sense of community, bonds, and emotional wellbeing the Elders' Clubs across the district have managed to create. His Twitter page often has videos of members jovially playing indoor games or interacting with schoolchildren who are regular club visitors. The ideas for the Elders' Club and Community Libraries have won him the Indian Express Excellence in Governance Award and praise from eminent economists like Jean Dreze. He thinks it's a model that can be replicated across the country.  

"Whether in a remote village or a well-to-do family in the city, people cannot empathize with an elder's loneliness. The loss of purpose and lack of appreciation for elders requires much thinking to truly understand them." 

All images courtesy: Faiz Ahmed Mumtaz & Twitter

How has social engagement and a sense of community made a difference in your life? Share your thoughts in the comment section below.

We start 2023 with the inspiring story of Air Marshal P.V. Iyer, who stays fit, active and raring to go at 93!

'It is around the age of fifty that we sometimes tend to fall into a defeatist state of mind, a feeling that it is too late to get back to a vigorous state of health. It is important to realise that it is never late to regain your fitness.'

93-year-old former Air Marshal P.V. Iyer should know. His bout with fitness started at 47 and continues well into his 90s, despite suffering from severe osteoarthritis. The author of Fit at Any Age: A Practitioner's Guide, Air Marshal Iyer, walks the talk and works out five days a week at the gym. He also runs eight kilometres daily. Over the years, his fitness journey has included more than 20,000 kilometres of running, including 42-kilometre marathons and a 240-kilometre ultramarathon from Agra to Delhi. Iyer says fitness and diet are essential to the body's maintenance and sustenance. Excerpts from an interview with him:

Q. Tell us about your fitness journey and how did it start?

When I was young, I didn't know much about fitness. I only realised more about it when I was stationed in Moscow as the Air Force attache. One day I noticed that my pulse was 60 or 50. Usually, it should be 72. I went to the doctor, who said, Mr Iyer, this is good for you. You have an unnaturally low heart rate. It means that your heart is strong and can do all the work with lesser effort. That gave me the idea that there is something more to fitness. Later, at 47 years of age, the Indian Air Force introduced a new policy of annual fitness tests. I had to run a mile in seven minutes. So I started practising and found that I could jog without discomfort and quickly run a mile in seven minutes. I continued my journey and became increasingly interested in fitness, reading books and articles about fitness.

I increased my mileage-- from normal one or two miles, I started running four or five miles. I fashioned a five-kilo belt of my invention. In the Ganges in Kanpur, the sand dunes are 15-20 ft high each. I would run barefoot on the dunes and work out for an hour this way. You can imagine the kind of strength that I would have through these activities. Within six months of this workout, I participated in the Asian veteran's athletic race. Milkha Singh, the Flying Sikh, was our captain. I ran the 5000 meters race and won the gold medal. After that, I competed in Singapore. Japan, China, Malaysia and other countries.

So this way, I became more and more interested in fitness. I have run more than one lakh kilometres in the last 40-50 years. For context, one marathon is 42 km. A 1000 marathons make 42000 km, and I have run three times that. Very few people in the world would have run so much. I've been able to do it, and I attribute my fitness to that kind of activity that I carried out. But everyone doesn't have to run so much to stay fit. Twenty minutes continuously is excellent, which is good enough for all kinds of problems. 

Q. What are the key things to remember while training to stay fit at an older age?

We need to remember that there is strength in every individual, whatever age. Strength is the most significant factor in fitness. It's a force multiplier. First of all, you need strength to move your legs. You need strength to maintain your body's metabolism, so you don't put on weight.

You need strength to keep your thoracic organs fit and protect your heart, lungs, kidneys and liver. In addition, strength is essential for stability. But, unfortunately, strength starts reducing from the age of 30 and then by 10 per cent every decade. So by the time you're 50 or 60, you have only half the strength unless you work to improve it. That's why I can do pull-ups even now, which even a younger person finds difficult unless trained. 

Q. Many people feel they haven't exercised their whole life, so it is too late. Is this true? 

It's essential in human physiology and fitness that what you are today depends on what you have been doing during the last three months. It is a physiological fact. Supposing you had a fracture and you're bedridden for a few weeks, it's common knowledge that the muscles will wither within those weeks. So you need physiotherapy to get back to normal strength. But the opposite is also luckily true. This means if you've never worked out or done any physical activity, if you work out for three months, you become as fit as the next person. 

That is one of the big messages I've tried to convey in my book. You are what you have been doing during the last three months. 

Q. Any tips on how to start?

Start slowly, and consult your doctor if you have any medical problems. Then, you start walking and jogging with the doctor's permission (and only after that). Alternate between walking and jogging. Don't jog all of a sudden; one minute or half a minute of jogging is good enough. Then you walk again. Slowly and gradually, you'll realise within the first six or seven weeks you are becoming fitter, and you're totally fit within three months.

"Fitness should be valued. In my 80s, I had to consult an ENT for a nosebleed once. I wanted to be assured that there was nothing wrong with me or any major illness. He asked me to relax and accept whatever came along since I had lived a full life. The doctor had completely missed the point. I did not go to him for compassionate advice. I went to him to be cured." 

Q. Any funny anecdotes you wish to share with us?

My mother-in-law was admitted for surgery in a Nagpur hospital, and I visited her. She was sleeping, so I decided to lie in the empty next room. I had woken up early for a run, so I dozed off. Suddenly I found somebody putting a thermometer in my mouth and counting my pulse. I tried to tell the person that I wasn't a patient when she suddenly let out a big cry as she found my pulse as low as 39! She raised a big alarm, rang the emergency bell, and doctors came running in while I tried to get up. I had to explain to them that I was an athlete who had gone for a 20 km run that morning, and my pulse was naturally low. And all this while I was trying to get up from that hospital bed! Finally, one doctor understood and let me go, but this incident remained funny. 

All photographs courtesy: Air Marshal P.V. Iyer

Fit At Any Age is published by Bloomsbury India and is available at Amazon and in bookstores around you.

Share your fitness stories with us below

Love and music bring happiness to the infirm and aged in this senior citizens' home and allow them to share it with others too. Be inspired by the Choir of the Loaves and the Fish!

If you walk past the open windows of the Holy Spirit Senior Citizen’s Home at Bannerghatta in Bengaluru and hear the sounds of We Are the World or These Are a Few of My Favourite Things, or I Have a Dream wafting towards you from the interiors, do step in and explore more. You will be pleasantly surprised, even awed, by the fact that the voices that reeled you in belong to a choir of 65-96 year-olds whose lined faces are alight with a passion for music. 

They practice every week, despite the fact that some of them are in wheelchairs or holding on to walkers or have had strokes and are living with cancer, heart disease, dementia, Parkinson’s, and arthritis. In fact, they have even held concerts, not just for family, friends, and visitors to their own Homes, but in other senior citizen homes where they traveled with a great deal of effort. The driving force behind this amazing choir, known as The Choir of the Loaves and the Fish, are two women named Pervin Varma and Regina Thomas. Pervin founded the choir sometime in 2012 when she would visit her uncle and aunt living at The Holy Spirit Home. Having always been passionate about music, this ex-employee of CRY and TISS would have casual interactions around music with the residents there.

“For me, it was how do I use song and music to bring hope and joy to these senior citizens, giving them a sense of value and worth,” says Pervin.

“One day, we were singing I have a dream by Abba, and I said, Let’s share our dreams. What are your dreams? Many immediately said, This is no age to dream. It was Christmas time, and I said, my dream is to form a choir, and instead of people coming and entertaining you this Christmas, we can invite people and perform for them!”

And so the Choir of the Loaves and the Fish was born! 

The Biblical reference to Jesus multiplying loaves of bread and fish to feed his followers was interpreted as the seniors offering whatever they had to God and letting Him use it in whatever way He chose. Their first concert that Christmas of 2012 certainly brought a lot of joy to those who came to listen. The residents of the Home who took part in it were astonished by the feedback they got. They began to practise regularly because now they had something to work towards, says Pervin, adding, “Making a difference to other people was a critical element of the whole experience for them.”

Instead of waiting for the entire year for a Christmas effort, the Choir had started to do an Independence Day concert as well, though due to the pandemic, that came to a halt three years ago. The choir has also performed in another senior citizens’ home, church, and conference at Christ University, Bengaluru.

But getting to this stage of giving outside performances wasn’t easy. Many of the residents initially needed coaxing and cajoling to participate. Pervin remembers one of their members, a lady they called Ammachy who was in her nineties, who would often come to the rehearsals in her nightie but sit silently and stare at them without singing a word.

“There is no criteria to join the choir,” explains Pervin. “If you want to be part of it, everyone gets something to do, a little solo, or to read something, or, in the case of Ammachy, she finally responded to being handed a pair of shakers. A percussionist was born! She really took to them and during her last two concerts, before she passed away, she even sang!”

“Every single time I go there (to the Home), I know why I am there. Just to see their joy,” says Pervin. It is clear that she loves what she does and finds it immensely gratifying. And at the rehearsal we observe, we see her receive that love back and more! 

“One of our members in her 80s, suffering from chronic back pain, lost her son very tragically. Despite all that, she would come for every session and sing from her heart. While she didn’t speak a word of English, she learned and sang all the songs just by listening to the phonetics. My uncle, who had dementia, never forgot the words of a song. In his last concert, he sat on his chair, glaring at me (and I thought he would not remember a thing), but when it came to the solo, he sang impeccably. Uncle Suresh was an Air Force pilot and now has Parkinson’s and is in a wheelchair. It is not easy to sing when you have Parkinson’s. But when he sings his voice is so strong. Especially singing ‘Kadam Kadam Badaye Ja,’ the song to which he once marched.”

The Choir has also done some quirky musical acts. For their Independence Day concert in 2018, they tweaked the lyrics of the famous song from the film Sound of Music, My Favourite Things -  to incorporate all their favorite things! 

Our Favourite Things

Chocolates and dry fruits and

Rich carrot halva

Toffee chews, pomegranates

And Chinese food with champagne

Jim Reeves and Chaudary and Rafi and hymns

These are a few of our favorite things

Goa and feni and Old Monk with thumbs up

Cool breeze and gardens and sunshine on raindrops

Holy Spirit sisters and helpers and friends

These are a few of our favorite things

When the bones ache,

When the nose leaks,

When we’re feeling sad,

We simply remember our favorite things

And then we don’t feel so bad

Singing and cooking and reading and serials

Eating and shopping and meeting with family

Happiness and good health and God’s love for us

These are a few of our favorite things!

Though the pandemic years and aging would’ve taken a toll, the choir, which currently has 23 members, performed in 2021 after a break. It was a reminder that while there are lows in life, the spirit of Christmas and the hope, love, and sense of purpose that music can bring in can always be that bright spot of cheer and light

The Choir of the Loaves and the Fish will do their first-ever online concert as part of the Silver Talkies Club Christmas Fiesta, open to all Silver Talkies Club Members on December 22, 2022. We are honored to have them perform on our platform and wish them success for many years.

To know how to become a Silver Talkies Member member, click here: https://c1.silvertalkies.com/care/membership-plans

To get updates on the choir’s activities, follow their FB page: https://www.facebook.com/ChoirOfTheLoavesAndFish

Note: We first featured The Choir’s story in 2018. The article has been updated and reposted.

All images courtesy: The Choir of the Loaves and the Fish 

Computer science professor Uma Garimella channels her imagination by creating art from kitchen and nature essentials. 

Dr Uma Garimella is a woman of science with a creative side that comes up with new surprises. Uma, who lives near Chennai, learnt music in childhood and is an accomplished singer. But few know about a creative pursuit that she discovered during the lockdown and has found her sense of calm and spot of mindfulness in -- kitchen art. Kitchen art, as the name suggests, is art using grocery items found in the kitchen. Uma takes it a notch further by creating art out of everyday objects, including scraps of paper and clothes! Here in her own words, are her musings on art, imagination and how other pursuits enrich her life.

Everyone asks me how I started this. It's quite surprising to me also because I never had any background in art. I've done artwork and embroidery in school, but I don't think I was interested in it. So this was something that caught my fancy during the lockdown. This is not vegetable carving that is typically done traditionally. This isn't food art, either. It is a simple and creative hobby.

Sometimes I see the image somewhere. Sometimes, it's just my own idea. Sometimes I try to reproduce a painting or photograph with whatever material I have, but the challenge is to reproduce the shades. My ingredients can go from rice to vegetables, pulses, herbs, leaves, peels, flours/rawa, tea/coffee powder, seeds, sauces and (rarely) cutlery and cups. And of course, imagination and inspiration. For instance, when I heard Queen Elizabeth had passed away, I looked up her sketch and immediately created it with tea powder. I don't sketch any of these out. I make these completely freehand. 

Some of the art takes a very long time to make, more than a couple of hours. I look through my mobile camera and make corrections. In the process, something else may shift. There is also some preparation involved in some, like grating vegetables. There is always the problem of ants if you leave out half the ingredients for later or the issue of wilting vegetables. So the whole process is time-consuming. I'm also discovering this and the method as I go along. I usually try to do this when creativity strikes!

How Have Creative Pursuits Added To My Retired Life?

I haven't thought very deeply about how kitchen art has helped me. But over the years, I've been doing a lot of self-work and other pursuits like cycling and spiritual discourses. I love driving. I have done the Golden quadrilateral drive four years ago (8300 km in 23 days) and have been doing a lot of other shorter travels of up to 2000 km, often solo or with a non-driving cousin/friend. 

In the last 20 years, I have done a lot of self-development, therapies and workshops to work on my mind. I've been into Vedanta now for the last four years. Since I'm retired now, almost all day long, I read or listen to something. If this kitchen art activity keeps me engaged, it's also cycling and music therapy that I learnt with Rajam Shanker. About four years ago, I took up cycling. Now, I cycle 20 km most days, and some days I do a few extra kilometres. Cycling and walking are non-negotiable for me. Evenings are reserved for that. My longest ride has been 100 km, and I have done 80, 75, 60+ (3-4 times), and 30-40 many times.

 The endless conversations with colleagues and family are gone, and a vacuum is created that's difficult to fill. Being alone can further aggravate loneliness. Taking up a physical and/or creative activity is an antidote to the idle mind's psychological and social problems. I am not alone in discovering art; a doctor friend has taken up pottery, and some retired teachers started to crochet and embroider. Another professor I know set up a huge terrace garden. And none of them had any background in these.

With the internet and smartphones, we can learn anything under the sun, sitting in the comfort of our homes. The most important thing is to avoid slotting yourself as a senior citizen to follow others blindly, become less active, or engage in discussions about ailments and medications or children and their families. Retirement is a second chance at life to do whatever we missed out on when we were young because the world of opportunities is more accessible now.

Aren't we lucky?

-- Uma Garimella spoke to Reshmi Chakraborty

Did you enjoy browsing Uma Garimella’s kitchen art? Do you work with materials around the home yourself? Does it bring you a sense of peace and mindfulness, like it does for Uma? Share your thoughts with us in the comments below.

All photographs courtesy: Uma Garimella

Reena Varma, 90, left her home in Rawalpindi on a summer break. She could never return as Partition divided India and Pakistan. Here's the story of how she finally went back home. 75 years later.

“When I was standing there, all I could see were my parents and sisters. My family. All I could see and think of was, I am here now. At least one of us made it back home.”

In May 1947, Reena Varma, then a 15-year-old, left home in Prem Gali, DAV College Road, Rawalpindi, to go on her annual summer holiday. In June 1947, the Partition of India and Pakistan was announced by Lord Mountbatten. Varma and her family could never return. All along, Varma ached to see the home she had left as a teenager. She finally returned there in July 2022, 75 years later.

  Sitting in the small sun-splashed study of her Pune home, Varma, 90, shares the torrent of feelings that opened up when she finally entered her house. "The Bari Baithak (large living room) of our house had patterned floor tiles and a small fireplace and mantelpiece that my father had designed. My entire family would gather there on winter evenings. It had remained the same. I could 'see' my family everywhere. It's hard to explain."  

  Varma's is a dream come true story where social media played a huge role, bringing people together and helping amplify her dream. But the most important element was Varma’s resolve and fervent wish to see the home she had left behind one day.

A Home Left Behind

Varma's family traveled to Murree (now in Pakistan) each year to spend the summer months as her father’s office shifted base there. It remains a much-loved destination in her memory. In May 1947, amidst a somewhat uncertain and sometimes volatile situation, as the family readied for a summer break, Varma’s father was advised to choose a destination other than Murree as there were hints of trouble and violence. They went to Solan, near Shimla, instead. “We carried some of our useful items along, but even then, we never realized that we would never be able to return! I was a 15-year-old and didn’t understand much, but my mother couldn’t accept this fact until she died. Imagine packing to stay elsewhere for some months and never being able to return to your own home!”

Varma’s family eventually settled in Delhi after stints in Pune, Dehradun, and Amritsar. She got a B.Ed degree before marrying Inder Prakash Varma, an engineer with HAL. They stayed in Bangalore, and Varma got busy raising her two children, taking care of her in-laws, and running small ventures from home once in a while.

Throughout all these, one wish remained constant for Varma. To see her home in “Pindi”, as she fondly calls Rawalpindi, just once.

Of Short Visits and Missed Chances

Varma did visit Pakistan once after the Partition. In 1954, Indians got temporary entry visas for a test match between Pakistan and England. “We traveled to and fro between Amritsar and Lahore for three days with my brother-in-law to see the match,” Varma remembers. She was in college then and couldn’t help but wish that she had been able to visit Rawalpindi too. 

Varma’s chance came when a Sikh friend and her family organized a visit to Panja Sahib Gurdwara, 48 kilometers from Rawalpindi, and invited her to travel with them. “I got a passport made at short notice and was all set when my friend’s plan fell through.” The next chance came sometime in the 70s when a family friend in the Indian Foreign Service was posted in Islamabad. “It would have been an ideal chance, but my children were very small then, and it didn’t materialize.” But Varma didn’t lose sight of her dream. Like music, a lifelong passion, visiting her childhood home was also becoming one, just tucked away for later. 

Social Media To The Rescue

  Varma, called Toshi by loved ones, tells me how she took to technology and found groups that promoted cross-border history and unity. Her daughter Sonali Khullar, who lives in Gurugram, alerted her to a Facebook group promoting Punjabi heritage across the subcontinent. Varma joined the group, which led her to the more active India Pakistan Heritage Club (IPHC). “It became a catalyst in my journey,” she says. Varma posted in the group about her wish to visit Rawalpindi. It was noticed by Beenish Siddiqua, a journalist based in Karachi, who asked her for a video to share her wish wider.   

  “Even after 74 years of partition, her heart is lost in the memories of Rawalpindi,” Siddiqua wrote in August 2021. In the video accompanying it, Varma shared her longing to see the land of her birth.  

The video went viral, taking Varma’s story to many across the subcontinent who may have older loved ones longing to see the home they had to leave but didn’t have Varma’s energy to pursue it. “It also helped that my memory of those days is very clear,” Varma says. “I remember names of my siblings’ friends or the name of the tailor (Shafi) who used to come home to take measurements!”

The memory had earlier helped Varma identify her home. As her story reached wider, Sajjad Haider, a journalist from Rawalpindi, contacted Varma, offering to locate her home. Varma considers him a member of her family now. “My house was surrounded by landmarks, so it wasn’t difficult to locate. I first identified the wrong house but later remembered our home had three doors. It was the only home in that galli with three doors.” Her home found, Haider, and others like Imran Williams, founder of IPHC, encouraged her to apply for a visa and visit Pakistan, though Varma hesitated because of Covid restrictions.

Varma’s first visa application in March 2022 was denied. Not one to lose heart, she decided to apply again, encouraged by her daughter. “I was very disappointed and wrote a post on Facebook about how they could reject a 90-year-old’s visa,” Varma says. Then a miracle happened, only possible in our hyper-connected world of social media and viral videos. Pakistani-American journalist Beena Sarwar saw Varma’s story from the previous year posted by Siddiqua on Twitter and shared it with the country’s then-foreign minister Hina Rabbani Khar, who gave her nod to the visit. In May 2022, Varma had her visa. It was a win for her and everyone who helped amplify her voice and cheer her on.

Visiting Home

Varma found the warm reception that awaited her across the border unimaginable. The IPHC group had helped her organize every part of her almost 10-day visit, from her stay to her companions. Khullar accompanied her mother to the Attari-Wagah border between Amritsar and Lahore. But from there, it was Varma's own journey. The one she had been waiting for.  

Every part of Varma's trip was worth cherishing and even shedding a few tears. “When I reached my old home, I was hesitant, not knowing how the family who lived there were.” She needn’t have worried. “They welcomed me wholeheartedly. I saw every room, the terrace, every corner. And I kept thinking of my family.” The Hussains, who own the house now, invited Varma to stay overnight in her childhood bedroom. They've named their home Reena’s House in her honor and gifted her a plaque.

  The warmth she received from the Hussains, Haider, members of the IPHC group, and the love and welcome everywhere was staggering for this petite and determined nonagenarian. “I hadn’t expected so much!” Varma says candidly that it was hard at times to control her emotions as the reception she got showed how most people do not have hatred in their hearts. If there’s something she could have done without, it was the intense media glare. “I could barely move around on my own or visit places I wanted to see because of it.”

Back in the quiet of her Pune home, with pictures of loved ones on the walls and greenery beyond her window, Varma has the time to relive the experience. She believes many things came together miraculously to create her trip. “It started with technology, the huge help I received from everyone, and my determination. I was stuck on the idea that I wanted to see my home, and I never thought I was too old to pursue that dream.”

While her family may have escaped the horrors of Partition, Varma's parents did face their share of problems, having lost their home, life, and work. But Varma says none of those thoughts has ever dampened her enthusiasm to visit Pakistan because that was the learning she grew up with. A belief in humanity, a gift from her parents.

Life has thrown many curveballs at Varma. She lost her son when he was 48, among several other losses and low phases. Yet, she remains a person with a positive attitude, probably the secret behind her exuberance and zeal. 

When we meet, she has just started a cleaning exercise, taking things out from her cupboard and lining them up on the bed. “Many people asked me how you did the trip alone at 90! But to tell you the truth," she says with a naughty glint in her eye, "I don’t feel 90 at all! When visiting my home in Rawalpindi, I felt as excited and energetic as the 15-year-old girl who had left it!”

Photographs courtesy: Sonali Khullar

Cover Image & Video: Silver Talkies

Do you or a family member have a story similar to Reena Varma's? Share it with us below, or tell us if you liked reading about Varma's journey.

The term ‘Family’ no longer means the same to everyone. In August 2022, the Supreme Court said that unconventional family structures are also entitled to legal recognition and protection. Convention says family connections are made up of moms, fathers, and children. But as the honorable judges said, that is no longer always the case and that all familial relationships—domestic, unmarried, queer, adoption, fostering, or remarriage—should be legally recognized.

Why are we talking about this here? Because this progressive judgment reaffirms a social change – of chosen families and companionships with a difference. For many urban older adults, companionship and friendships have now gone beyond society-defined norms fuelled by a change in mindset and cultural variables. Families are not often in the same physical location, prompting many older adults to find a tribe they can rely on for immediate support and strength.

The Men of Manasarovar

K Santoshkumar is 85 and a bachelor. His companions and support system for the last seven years have been the men he met at work, many of them single like him, between the ages of 75-85. Their unconventional living arrangement ensures they find social connections, have the comfort of meeting their families when they want, and maintain their independence.      

Santoshkumar and 15 former colleagues live together in Manasarovar, a Chennai residence designed for this purpose. Their current living arrangement is the result of a well-thought-out retirement plan. BS Srikanth, a mobility solutions entrepreneur, and his nephew shared with us how this came about. Santoshkumar was in the merchant navy and now shares Manasarovar with some of his former colleagues. The men were friends from earlier in the same profession. As they neared retirement, the person to whom the property belonged discussed the idea of staying together in a shared residence with some single and widowed colleagues. Santoshkumar was one of them. Gradually a few more people, two of them with their spouses, joined the group, and the idea of having a shared home to live in took shape. The group pitched in with deposits for some fixed assets to make the place liveable.

Most people at Manasarovar also have their own homes or children living elsewhere. Some often go back and spend time with their children or relatives for a few months. But Manasarovar has been their home for the past seven years, the chief residence they all return to. The residents share common expenses for daily living, maintenance, a doctor on call, helpers, and other joint amenities at Manasarovar. Live-in helpers manage chores, and a weekly menu is planned based on everyone’s preferences. It’s an atmosphere of home-like comfort, with the satisfaction of having a peer group around without losing out on your independence. The residents have their own space and rooms and can do things of their choice, including cooking meals. The common areas are a small library, kitchen, and dining area and space to come together when they wish to.

Srikanth is close to his uncle and has seen the Manasarovar idea come together from the inception stage. He thinks this unique circle of support has worked out very well for his uncle and others. “The advantage is the bonhomie among them. Also, mariners develop different hobbies. I can vouch that my uncle never feels lonely as part of this community and I’m sure the sentiment is shared by the other residents because everyone came here of their free will. Voluntarily they all decided to do this and make it work, and even if unusual, it has worked for all of them so far.”

Santoshkumar’s story is heartening for many older adults who may be single or not have immediate family to stay with. Some may have stronger bonds and friendships beyond the family worth exploring as a unit to live with. Mansarovar residents come from different parts of the country, but their shared professional past and the promise of a future where they have constant companionship, camaraderie, and a chosen circle of support keep them bound to each other.

The Co-Carers

Support and companionship aren’t always between peers. Sometimes, it’s a bond across generations. 

During the pandemic, when Pune-based couple Sudha and Mohan Chand, both in their 70s, had Covid-19 and needed to be cared for at home, their Singapore-based daughter could not travel. But she needn’t have worried. Chand and Sudha live alone, but their complete care, which included coordination with a doctor, procuring medicines, arranging for daily food and groceries, and managing their household, was taken care of entirely by four of their neighbors. “They formed a WhatsApp group and divided responsibilities among themselves to care for my parents. It was such a well-coordinated and heartfelt effort that it almost became a model among some more building residents,” says their daughter Anila. The caregiving was taken forward when one of the neighbors, a single mom in her 40s, caught the virus later. “My parents stepped forward to take charge of their neighbor’s school-going children, moving them to their apartment and taking complete care of their activities and schedule until the mother recovered.”

Jaya, in her late 60s, is battling an aggressive form of cancer. Apart from a daughter who lives overseas, her caregivers and constant champions are two younger women she met and became close friends with a few years ago. These women, both professionals with busy itineraries, have been her source of strength throughout the treatment. They’ve accompanied her on doctor visits, supported her through rounds of chemotherapy, and taken turns to stay with her on tough days. For her younger friends, it’s been a journey with immense learning and an understanding of their patience and strength.

The idea behind stories like the Chands' or Mr. Santoshkumar and his friends’ co-living arrangement is the hope that there can be support beyond the traditional norms of just family or a marriage. Our circle of support can go beyond our families, and there can be care in unique friendships, like-mindedness, and shared goals as we grow older.

Do you have your own circle of support? Share with us in the comments below.

Kala Sunder, a friend and well-wisher of Silver Talkies, moved to Moscow in the early half of 2022. Here’s her take on a question she’s often asked – living in Moscow at the time of the Russia-Ukraine war. 

Friends ask me how I like it in Moscow at this time. For me, coming from Bengaluru, it is very comfortable. The city authorities (the equivalent of our BBMP, BDA, BMTC, BMRCL and others) do their job professionally and efficiently. I drink tap water; I walk all over the city on smooth pavements without having to watch for pits, hanging wires and cables, garbage and other obstacles. There are regular zebra crossings, lights, underground crossings and bridges for pedestrians' safety. The city is clean, well-lit, and safe.  Power outages and air and noise pollution are not topics of conversation. The metro, buses, trams and trains cover every part of the city, and taxis and self-drive cars are affordable. The freedom to go wherever one wishes to, even late at night, is wonderful, especially for women.

Daily life is not impacted by the war, at least not yet. Food prices have increased but no more than in other parts of the world. Most foreign brands in consumer goods, fast foods and electronics have left, and there is talk (mainly only talk yet) of shortages of all kinds of things. The only one I have experienced is that every point of sale now routinely asks if you need a printed receipt because there is a shortage of that type of paper. It is expected that as inventories run out, we will see empty shelves. 

By the way, there is no shortage of baby formula. 

Manufacturing is in trouble, I hear, because of supply chain disruptions, and there is a shortage of certain seeds because of the global seed monopolies. 

Since almost all the MNCs were based in Moscow, job losses have been high in the capital. The mayor put the figure at 200,000. Other cities are not affected so severely. 

Another question I am often asked is what do Russians feel about the war. My social circle here is small and not diverse, and no one I know supports it. Even among the larger population, there is no display of the chest-thumping jingoism that we see even at a cricket match. But most people resent the selective outrage against Russia and the demonisation of Russians. Do you think we are evil, they ask, and I see how pained they are. Blaming and victimising through sanctions a whole people for the actions of their state is unfair. We know that even in a democracy, the common people can be rendered powerless against the government. 

Young people who have grown up during a period of rising living standards are upset at the inability to travel abroad and falling disposable incomes. They are also questioning the morality of violence and the lack of democracy and civil rights. However, I fear that as the conflict drags on and the dehumanisation of Russia continues, this sentiment will drift towards support for the state and not the other way round. Older people are stoic. They have seen many hardships and take this as one more they can live through. I can feel that while on the outside, people are going about their lives, as usual, there is an undercurrent of sadness and tension. 

This is an "interesting" time to be here.

Read Kala Sunder's travelogue on the city of Tver in Russia here.

All images courtesy: Pixabay

Yashpal Mehta lived abroad for 38 years before returning home to settle in Chembur, Mumbai, his childhood neighborhood. For two years, the pandemic prevented him from exploring the area. One fine morning, Mr. Mehta decided to locate the barrack in Chembur Camp where he was born. He narrates his childhood years in the neighborhood - a legacy of life after the Partition of 1947.:

The ship had a capacity of 300 but carrying a load of 4000 displaced people, set sail from Karachi on September 18, 1947. It anchored at Mumbai port three days later. Never in their wildest dream did the Sindhis, Multanis, Derewals, and people from Jhung, forced out of their homes, think they would not return to Karachi in the next few months. Many had left their house keys with neighbors to mind their homes during this 'short stay' in Bombay. But, alas, it was not to be, and they were now in Bombay for good.

We are from Multan, a border state between Sindh and Punjab in West Pakistan. Most of our men found employment in Karachi, then a vibrant commercial city. 

A Family Uprooted

My father was a matriculate working with the British Overseas Airways Corporation (now British Airways) as a stenographer. He told us how he had the temerity to ask his British boss if he could get a transfer to the Mumbai office of the company when the Partition riots started. 

But the company had not asked the employees to leave. Since they were going of their own volition, there could not be a transfer. So my parents and eldest sister, who was a few months old, joined the 4000 refugees, homeless and penniless, to a whole new world of uncertainty on that ship.

Our family eventually found refuge in the military barracks opposite the Golf Course in Chembur. Each barrack had six units. The walls in the barracks were halfway from the ceiling, and one could see and hear what transpired in the neighbor's home. The new residents' first task was to cover the space with jute bags painted white for a semblance of privacy.

The water came from a well nearby. The cooking was done in tandoors outside the barrack. The Gurudwaras, always the good samaritans, provided food to those in need.

Remaking Lives

In Chembur, the area from Jhama to the golf course was called Chembur Camp, and shops were set up on both sides of the road by the migrants. Sindhis, the entrepreneurial breed, began to find jobs even as far as Crawford Market in Central Mumbai and the Mulji Market to get a foothold. Those who were not so literate found work in the three studios, RK, Asha, and Basant, not far from Camp, as extras in movies. For some, it became a career. I remember the two shootings that I was part of. One was Zameen Ke Tare featuring famous character actors Honey Irani and Daisy Irani as child artists. The other was Waqt in the celebrated song sequence of Aye Meri Zohra Zabeen.

Some young boys would do the job of an Aagewala (now called the ball spotter) or a Carry (now known as the Caddy) and earn some pocket money. I still remember fixing tricolor paper flags on the pockets of an 'Angrez' (a white man) on August 15 and January 26 outside the golf course to get some money. Educated migrants like my father got office jobs, mostly as clerks, thanks to the policies during the Nehru Era and the emphasis on industrialization.

Most children were born in the barracks, including another sister and me. Most of us went to preschool at Balkanji Bari, run by the Sindhis. The Hindi High School Ghatkoper was popular for higher classes as it offered fee remission to refugee children. The Municipal school to the left of the Golf Course was another free choice. A few children attended the DAV school in Matunga, including some from our family. As people settled and had some income, the younger children got admission to St. Anthony and OLPS, Chembur. I joined OLPS in 1957 for the first standard, and this was the first batch of students in Class I. We were four children, and all of us went to four different schools, DAV Matunga, Hindi High School, Ghatkopar, OLPS, and Swami Vivekanand, perhaps reflecting their parents' changing economic status.

After the settling in process from 1947 to 1951, the government appointed a Claims Commissioner to look into the homes and properties left behind by the migrants and decide on the claims.

Our area was divided into three wards, and buildings were built. Each building had three floors and 12 units. Each unit had a room, a living/bedroom with a washing area, and a kitchenette at the back. Each floor also had six common baths and six common toilets. According to my understanding, those with a claim were given this unit for free, while others had to pay Rs 4500. The structures were completed in 1956/57.

A Joyous Childhood

"Woh kagaz ki kashti woh barish ka pani..."

The famous Jagjit Singh song sums up our stay here. There was lots of bonhomie and trivial but joyful activities. We loved playing gilli danda, langri, kho kho, seven tiles, rolling of the tyres, and cricket and volleyball. We grew up listening to stories from my grandfather during summer nights under the starry skies on the terrace. The terrace was our common bedroom during the hot months of April and May. I was paid a coin to scratch my grandpa's back to make him comfortable from the sores caused by prickly heat. There were innumerable times when we would have to rush from the terrace to our homes with our beddings at the fall of the first rains. We'd run through the rickety stairs between the second floor and the terrace. Simple days of joy and fun.

Note: This episode is from 1947 to 1957. The information is based on my research and largely from an interview given by my uncle that is now archived at the Godrej Library in Vikroli. 

Cover image: Women and children arriving at Bombay port on an ocean liner from Karachi after the Partition in 1947. Image courtesy: Twitter

Every August, Silver Talkies records memories and instances of humanity, fortitude, and courage during the Independence Years; stories of life in a newly independent India; crossing over during Partition, and finding freedom. You can find these stories here & here.

This writeup originally appeared in Chembur Pulse.

Silver Talkies Members get a unique chance to get published with us. We welcome travelogues, family recipes, memoirs, oral history accounts, short stories, poems, humour and personal essays, tips on living well, and if you are a qualified subject matter expert, then your thoughts on your chosen topics as well. Email us at connect@silvertalkies.com to know more!

The Wisdom Series by Silver Talkies is about stories of resilience and perseverance, mentoring and coaching, following a passion, and taking on a challenge. Here is the inspiring story of Silver Talkies club member Vimala Varadan. 

"The saga of taking care is very difficult to go through, and I would not wish it on the worst of my enemies," says Vimala Varadan, 71, independent woman, dedicated former caregiver, mother of Monisha and Malavika, and grandmother of Zoya, Meera and Raya.

In 1996, Murali Varadan, then 49, working in a family-owned book publishing firm, suffered a stroke due to a brain aneurysm leading to right-side paralysis and aphasia. Aphasia is the loss of the person's ability to communicate. As a result, Murali had to re-learn speech and language entirely.

The Varadans had recently shifted to their new home in Bengaluru. Suddenly overnight, things changed. Vimala, 46, a bank employee, was thrust into the role of family provider and main parent to her young daughters. She also became the primary caregiver to her husband, Murali Varadan, a role she took over for the next 26 years. Murali had been a very supportive and loving husband and father. "It felt like my hands had been cut off." 

In the early years of caring for Murali, getting hired, trustworthy and trained help was impossible, Vimala recalls. Hence, the caregiving responsibilities fell on Vimala and her two daughters.

 There were times when Vimala felt overwhelmed. "I wanted to run away, get away from it all; I didn't want to be there". Every time the thought of her young daughters pulled her back. 

Her daughters understood. 

Her daughter Malavika wrote in a Facebook post in 2018: "My mother has dedicated every waking moment of the last 22 years to caring for my Dad. Her daily focus is on his food, his rest, his exercise, his medical needs, and his happiness. Somewhere in between that, she has managed to find the energy to raise her two girls - through school and college, exams, boyfriends, careers, and some very rebellious teenage years. She has taught us to say what's on our minds and stand up for what matters to us. And none of that has been easy. She doesn't back down, this woman. She stands with her back straight, looks the storm in the eye and fights until the next sunrise". 

Vimla lost Murali in early 2022. She now spends time adjusting to the loss and doing things that bring her purpose and joy. Travel is high on her list. "I'm 71, and time is running out!" she laughs. She remains closely bonded with her daughters, who live overseas and is planning her next visit to their homes. They encourage her to pursue interests and hobbies that appeal to her and to write about her experience as a caregiver as it may help several others in a similar situation.

As part of the Wisdom Series, Vimala shares some learnings as a caregiver with us for Silver Talkies readers.

• Have belief. Use your faith. Vimala's faith in Shirdi Sai Baba and Murali's faith in Buddhism helped them through the dark and challenging times. Her daughters Monisha and Malavika also found strength in Buddhism. 

• Celebrate the small victories and set small targets. For instance, setting goals like this week, let's learn to wear trousers; next week, remember to wear the shirt yourself, work better.

• Know that life does not come to a standstill. Life goes on. Murali used a wheelchair for 26 years, suffered from aphasia, had multiple surgeries, asthma, and had cancer for the last eight years before passing. But his attitude remained positive. Life for Vimala and Murali went on. She attributes Murali's positivity to how she and her daughter coped with their challenges.

• Caregivers need time off and a life of their own. Do activities that you enjoy. Vimala travelled to Dubai and Singapore with Murali multiple times in the last decade. She also took breaks of her own when possible. She travelled to Bhutan and Bali with tour groups she liked. At 65, she also learned how to swim and took piano lessons.

• Be patient and keep doing the tough repetitive things. A psychiatrist who visited the Varadans told Vimala, "The sun rises in the morning and sets in the evening, don't expect the sun to set in the afternoon. Don't have great hopes; it will take its time." Vimala says that gave her hope. She decided that "she must plod through this every day, and slowly get back a semblance of normalcy in their lives". 

• Managing medication well. Vimala says this is extremely important when the family member you're caring for suffers from multiple illnesses. 

Even after Murali's passing, this septuagenarian keeps herself occupied and active. An avid traveller, she enjoyed learning French at the language classes conducted by the Silver Talkies Club. She has also loved sessions on Warli painting and creative writing. "I like attending the virtual musical events and the physical meet-ups in Bengaluru."

Life for Vimala has never come to a standstill. It goes on. 

The wisdom from her life? Cherish the small victories in your caregiving journey. Take breaks and also have your own life.

All photographs courtesy: Vimala Varadan

Read the first part of our Wisdom Series with Rajam Shanker here.

At 94, Bhagwani Devi Dagar won gold in the World Masters Athletics Championships, proving that sometimes, age is really a trivial number.

One morning in December 2021, Bhagwani Devi Dagar, 94, walked up to her grandson Vikas Dagar with a shotput in hand. Dagar, an international para-athlete and Rajiv Gandhi Khel Ratna awardee, had asked her to try her hand at it the previous evening. "What exactly is this?" Bhagwani Devi, whom Dagar calls 'daadi', asked him. "I want to try this now."

Grandson and grandmother walked to the fields for what they both thought would be a fun trial. "But watching her throw convinced me that I should encourage her to give sports a try," Dagar, an Asian record-setter in shotput at the 2014 Grand Prix in Tunisia, recalls. Daadi may have been in her mid-90s, considered too late for a start by some, but Dagar was enthusiastic, and Bhagwani Devi was game. It led to a winning streak that hasn't stopped yet.

Bhagwani Devi Dagar won one gold and two bronze medals for India at the World Masters Athletics Championships held in Finland in June this year. She also clocked a timing of 24.74 seconds, a World Meet Record in the 90-94 age category. "The world record in that category is 23.15. We missed it by a small margin and will try next time," Dagar says, his voice full of hope. Is he pushing his daadi too far? No, he says, it's what she wants.

Bhagwani Devi lives in Najafgarh village, close to Gurgaon, Haryana. Her family is quite tight. Sports have been an essential part of their lives at home, especially after Dagar started winning medals. "She would look through all my medals, touching them and asking me about the game. Over the years, as I watched her, I felt there had been a desire in her somewhere to play sports, though she never got the chance." 

When Bhagwani Devi finally agreed to participate in sporting events, the entire family, from her son Hawa Singh to her granddaughter-in-law Sarika and great-grandsons, supported it unanimously. "Not one of us felt it could be risky for her at this age. She was healthy. We thought if this is what she wants to do, we will support it," Dagar says over the phone from home, the sounds of an elated family behind him.

Age is nothing more than an increasing set of numbers for Bhagwani Devi, a true cool grandmother. She broke into an impromptu jig after landing in India with the medal, her joy unfiltered and unabashed. Her story is one of intergenerational support, of a family coming together to fulfil the wishes of an ageing member who has been their rock because they see capability and passion in her. They are careful not to overexert. The senior athletic star's training schedule is simple and basic, says Dagar. "Daadi walks 4-5 kilometres every morning and every evening. We do some basic warmups with her three days a week but carefully, to avoid any injury. She has always followed a healthy diet too." 

"I don't eat any Western food," Bhagwani Devi has told reporters, "roti sabji is what I like."

Bhagwani Devi had played Kabaddi as a young girl, though circumstances didn't give her a chance to pursue it. She was widowed early and left with an infant son and a daughter, who passed a few years later. "It has been a life of grief and struggle for her to bring up my father alone," Dagar says. In recent years, as her family seemed settled enough, Bhagwani Devi started talking of the dreams she had given up during her years of struggle. Creating records and winning gold medals in her 90s may have been far from that dream, but she embraced it with open arms when the chance came. 

Bhagwani Devi's journey since January 2022 has been like an unbeaten race. She won three gold medals at the Delhi State Athletics Championships. Three more gold medals in April at the 42nd National Masters Athletics Championships in Chennai followed, securing her participation in the World Masters Athletics Championships (WMAC). Organised for athletes above 35, the WMAC has age categories going up to 100. Bhagwani plans to compete for the next five years in the 95-99 age category. 

"I'm thrilled to have won a gold medal for my country in a foreign land," Bhagwani Devi told reporters after landing in India to the welcoming beat of dholaks and a rousing welcome from her family. 

"She hasn't completely absorbed the magnitude of her achievement or that her images are now viral," says Dagar, laughing at how "daadi" was bemused by the airline crew fussing over her on the flight back home. "But she is happy to have won her own medals and made her country proud. I'm reliving my dream of creating international records through her," says the proud grandson. His encouragement and commitment to fulfilling a grandparent's dream have now put her on the world map.

Images courtesy: Vikas Dagar's Facebook Page & Twitter

An autobiography is not just a record of life in a different era, it is a journey of gratitude, reconnections, and reflections on them. Here's why writing one in your older years can make a difference.

Real-life stories are intriguing, more so when your own mother is one of the characters in such stories. Listening to the incidents from my mother Sharda Gulati’s early life in Sargodha, now in Pakistan, the carnage she and her family endured during Partition along with millions of others, the aftermath, resettling and reshaping of lives, I knew mother had a treasure trove of stories hidden in her heart. I prodded her to document these episodes but initially, she wasn’t interested. She said she had lived an ordinary life, and there was nothing significant in her life which should be documented and preserved for posterity.

I believe that it’s the recount and recapture of ordinary lives which makes it worth a read. The future generations need to know how their ancestors lived - the socio-cultural set-up, the living conditions, the professions they pursued, the value system and everything else that would connect them to their roots. 

Our grandparents and even our parents belonged to an era distinct from ours. Thanks to technological advancements, the socio-cultural scenario changes at such a breakneck speed that even a short span of 10 years feels like a generation gap. The gadget-loving generation is unable to imagine life when it took a decade and a half to get a landline connection when people booked trunk calls and waited for hours to speak with loved ones just for a couple of minutes; when walking into a friend’s home unannounced and uninvited was a display of warmth and not discourtesy.

Cut to the present, try asking your children to share their exclusive bathroom with a guest or even with another family member and they may just whine about life being unfair. It’s not only the living conditions and the social set-up which has gone through a metamorphosis but also the value system which needs to be told to the future generation. Moreover, with youngsters too busy to listen to stories from their grandparents, an autobiography naturally becomes a potent mode to pass on the wisdom to the younger generations. 

Writing Her Story

Finally, my mother gave in to my persistence, and we set off on an unforgettable journey. Being a writer myself, I had the privilege to be the compiler and editor of her autobiography. 

Here’s the process we followed. 

She would write her memories in a diary and pass it on to me to compile, edit and plug the missing links. She wrote some parts and narrated some parts, which were transcribed by me. When her memory failed, she reached out to her sibling, cousins, and relatives whose parents had lived in that era, to fill in the blanks. It was a wonderful way for her to bond with her brother and cousins. They would have long calls reminiscing their young days and giggle like children. It was amusing and also heart-warming to see her so happy and talking fondly about her younger days.  While this continued, my mother was firm that she wouldn’t write about any bitter episodes she’d had with some relatives and close friends as she didn’t want their children to think negatively about their parents or grandparents. 

An autobiographical account of life also gives you a chance to reflect on your choices, learn from them, and also express gratitude towards those who’ve helped you in your life journey. Memoirs emphasize the transience of human life; the matters which appeared grave earlier now seem trivial. 

The fun part of this writing journey was that my mother and I could spend a lot of time together – planning, discussing, debating, arguing, and disagreeing. 

“I’ve thoroughly enjoyed penning down this autobiography. It was like going back to my childhood and reliving my life all over again. I also tried connecting with some of my ex-colleagues and friends with whom I had lost touch. Thanks to social media, with a few I could,” says mother who started her career in 1958. She worked as a publicity supervisor in the public relations department, Punjab and reached the rank of Joint director. 

This autobiography has strengthened bonds, reconnected old associations, and brought out new relations. I chuckle with my mother that suddenly I have so many cousins and uncles. 

The Starting Trouble 

Many older adults wish to write memoirs but they stop themselves from taking the plunge, perhaps intimidated by its enormity.  The only way to start is to recollect memories and start writing. Even if one has only a few memories to talk about, start penning them down even if they come in bits and pieces. Just like an onion, as you start peeling off the top layers of your memories, more would emerge, and soon you would have a bag full of interesting episodes worth sharing. Later these can be strung together chronologically. If writing is not your forte or language is the issue, you may use the services of a professional memoirist or even a family member. Through this piece, I would encourage senior citizens to write their memoirs. This is the most precious gift that you can leave for your children and grandchildren who would read it with a sense of pride in their lineage.

The Life I Saw 

The Life I Saw by Sharda Gulati , is an autobiography that transcends her life journey from Sargodha, the land of oranges where she spent her early days, through various cities of Punjab and Haryana to Chandigarh, the ‘city beautiful’ where she currently resides. At the age of 12, she migrated to independent India along with her freedom fighter father, mother and younger brother. Way back in the 1950s, she was privileged to do post-graduation, an opportunity denied to many girls even today. For 34 years, she worked in the male-dominated field of Public Relations in Haryana and excelled to reach the position of Joint Director. This autobiography captures the life she saw. 

All images courtesy of the author

Have you ever thought of writing your memoir or helped a family member or friend write theirs? Do you think its a beautiful way to revive bonds and share your way of life with future generations to come? Share your thoughts with us below.

Murali KG, 59, says he is the world’s "biggest father". And he isn’t far from the truth. Murali is appa to 220 children aged between three to 22 years. Murali runs Children of Krishnagiri, an initiative to improve the lives of children with HIV/AIDS. He is the grey-haired guiding light of 220 HIV positive children of Krishnagiri, a district in Tamil Nadu. He shares with us the incredible journey of becoming a father to more than 200 children. 

The Beginning

Murali’s story began 12 years ago. “After completing my law degree, I worked in the corporate world for 15 years and then as an entrepreneur for the last 2.5 decades, mostly working as a vendor for banks to sell and collect. I had managed a Leprosy home in Coimbatore for a decade. So, when I moved to Bangalore, I felt a little lost and wanted to get a similar space to do some social work here too. However, I was not familiar with Kannada and hence had to look for a place with a Tamil speaking population and found Krishnagiri, close to Bangalore,” he says. 

At Krishnagiri, Murali joined a non-profit run by his friend - ‘Gift A Future’. It worked towards helping underprivileged children, primarily kids of daily wage labourers, domestic helpers and drivers who couldn’t afford to pay school fees. Murali would work towards interviewing the children and shortlisting those who needed support.  

“Gift A future was aided by another NGO - the Association for Rural Community Development (ARCOD). During one of my field visits, I met the founder of ARCOD - Mr Keshavaraj. He was talking about the work he was doing towards women's employment and child welfare in Krishnagiri. That’s when he told me that there was a bigger issue in Krishnagiri which was more critical than the education of underprivileged children. He told me that a lot of children were dying due to HIV. While I was just aware of what HIV was, I was clueless about how severe the problem could be, so, initially, I tried to ignore the whole thing,” says Murali. 

Durga, the source of his motivation

Mr Keshavaraj persuaded Murali to accompany him on one of the field visits. “He took me for a drive and brought me to a thatched hut where he introduced me to Durga, a 15-year-old HIV positive orphaned child. She was playing with three other children who weren’t HIV positive and there was a man who was the father of those three children. It came as a shocker when I learnt that he had adopted Durga too. He said that Durga was his neighbour and when her parents died he took up her responsibility. I was amazed to hear that he was a small-time street food vendor at the government bus stop. That’s when it occurred to me that if he could take such a daring step, it would be shameless for me to not take up an initiative for HIV positive children. That’s how my journey began,” says Murali. 

Murali now faced the challenge of identifying HIV positive children around the district. A forum called the Tamil Nadu HIV Positive Network helped. Initially, Murali decided to raise Rs 500 for each infected child by reaching out to his family and friends but he soon realised it wasn’t enough.

“I asked ARCOD to take me to field visits. We saw children were undernourished, they weren’t following any health regime, 90 per cent of their parents had succumbed to HIV and they were orphaned; there were a lot of stigmas and affording nutritious food was difficult. During this process, we did lose a couple of children. I would meet them and come back and then the following week would get the news of their passing away. Those moments were really emotional.”

That’s when Murali decided to first get their medical records checked as none of their medical records were in place. “ARCOD knew one of the doctors in St. Johns Hospital in Bengaluru and she agreed to accommodate my children in small batches. So, every week we would bring 8 to 10 children on the designated day and over some time, we were in control of the situation,” he says. 

The medical assessment pointed out that the children needed nutritious food too. “We arranged for a provisional diet for all the children that included all nutritious food that they needed like black chana, soya, etc and for the last nine years, we have been providing them nutritional food every month.”

How Sreedevi inspired him to give Children Of Krishnagiri a structure

“We never thought we would start a home because these kids wanted to stay close to their biological families. But the second turning point came when we met a child called Sreedevi during our field visits. She was in Class 9 then, lying sick in one corner of her home without anyone to look after her. She had somehow managed to cook in that state. She had lost her parents three years back and lived alone with her sibling. She was in the end stage and on the verge of multi-organ failure. I managed to bring her with me and convinced her to get treated at St. Johns Hospital in Bengaluru. Somehow we managed to save Sreedevi but we couldn't bring her back home as she had no one to take care of her. So, we rented a home in Krishnagiri, hired professional help to care for her, and made sure she could visit her school and study. Gradually, she did extremely well. Her health got better, she completed her schooling and graduation, joined B-Ed this year and was an inspiration for all other HIV positive children. She showed that if there's a determination to do well in life, even HIV can’t deter a person from rising. Sadly we lost her in February 2022 and it was a weighty moment for us. She suffered from cerebral oedema and we rushed her to the hospital but couldn’t save her.”

Sreedevi’s death moved Murali to put his thought into action. At present, the Children Of Krishnagiri (COK) stands on one acre of land, boasting a girls’ hostel, boys’ hostel, auditorium and warden’s quarters. Classrooms, indoor stadiums and more are in progress. 

COK’s Centre of Excellence is Murali’s next focus

Now that the health issue is resolved, Murali has shifted his focus to educating HIV positive children and helping them stand on their own feet. “We have started a centre for excellence and our target is to make a star out of them. They are trained in computer science, etiquette, and hygiene courses, which prepare them to face the world like any other child. Of our 16 college-going children, five have graduated and have joined a training program for the Tamil Nadu Public Service Commission (UPSC) with a guarantee of government jobs. There are kids who’ve got married and we are working towards making them independent and stand on their own.” 

Murali tries his level best to give a happy life to the children just like any other father would. “Our vision statement was to not let any child die due to HIV and we have stuck to our commitment so far. We have not even lost one child in the last couple of years. The health issue has fairly vanished and they are getting good food. These children have hardly travelled anywhere, visited a restaurant or a movie theatre. We take them out for dinners and movies and vacations.” 

As he grows older, Murali thinks it is essential to get involved in the life of those in need. “Otherwise, we end up worrying only about ourselves and then fear steps in,” he concludes.

All images courtesy Murali KG

Silver Talkies Members get a unique chance to get published with us. We welcome travelogues, family recipes, memoirs, oral history accounts, short stories, poems, humor and personal essays, tips on living well and if you are a qualified subject matter expert then your thoughts on your chosen topics as well. Email us on connect@silvertalkies.com to know more!

We sailed for three hours to Santa Catalina Island for the shoot. A vision of the incredibly blue sea, devoid of undercurrents to stir up the ocean floor sand and obscure vision. It meant 300 feet visibility amid schools of fish, a wonderful multicolor view through our glass-fronted masks. This shoot was for one of the very first underwater shoots in Hollywood—a black and white B grade affair titled The Sharkfighters, though YouTube will now show you the colored version that doesn’t carry the scene we shot. The star of the film was Victor Mature, famous as Samson in Cecil B DeMille's mega-movie, Samson and Delilah.

The movie was based on real-life incidents (The US Navy did create a shark repellent called the Shark Chaser, whether it really worked or not was debatable). Victor was playing a navy hero, doing research in shark-infested waters. We were to do an 18-second shot featuring six sharks circling and attacking him. By today’s standards, the technology available was truly primitive. Special effects were unheard of. Everything needed to be manually prepared. The production guys took six dead sharks, froze them with their mouths agape but left their tails limp. I was hired to act as a shark.

How did I turn into a convincing shark? The production team drilled two holes on one flank of my frozen shark and tightly fitted a wooden peg in each hole. I had to grab the pegs and maneuver my shark with the ‘limp fish body’ hiding me from the camera lens. The idea was to circle the hero and hover menacingly around him along with my fellow sharks.

On paper, everything was planned. But this was the very first underwater shooting experience and there were many glitches. Often, the hero placed his hand clumsily in the sharks' open jaws, causing retake after retake. The upside of all those glitches? Our 18-second shoot stretched to three days in those azure blue waters, making us a bunch of happy sharks! During breaks, there were barbecued lunches at the oceanfront. The dinner-time campfire had two of the sharks playing the ukulele while belting out pop numbers, folk songs, and popular ditties of the time.

Did we sharks mind 18 seconds stretching to three days? Absolutely not. We were paid by the hour. It was, to tell you the truth, a paid vacation!

He started out in the kitchen photographing and helping his wife. Now he has 14,000 Instagram followers.

Senguttuvan Subburathina, 72, turned chef after retirement to help his wife with daily kitchen chores and fuel his passion for cooking. He has since then been the senior-most contender in 2021 SunTV MasterChef Tamil, making his way to the top 24 out of over 1500 contestants and becoming a food influencer on Instagram with over 14K followers.

A former business manager at Godrej with 35 years of experience in the corporate sector, Subburathina, like many others we feature in Silver Talkies, proves that retirement is not about giving up but living a new life, a new passion and exploring oneself as a new person.

What brought him to the kitchen?

“I started serious cooking about five years back. I am not a professional chef and I would call myself an amateur home chef. I retired about 12 years back and subsequently, I started pursuing my passions, mainly photography. I started venturing out taking pictures of wildlife - animals and predominantly butterflies. I started acquiring special lenses, travelled to various locations and focused on photography. And then, over time, besides wildlife photography, I started doing food photography as well.” according to Subburathina, that’s what eventually drove him to cook.

“I started posting my food photos on a platform by Google that allowed you to stock up and share photos. However, it shut down sometime and I shifted to Facebook and started posting my photographs there. I had gained some social media following by then. I used to take photos of the dishes cooked by my wife and shared them on Facebook. Then, some of my Facebook friends insisted that I join a foodie group and I started posting the photos of my wife’s dishes there and gained quite a bit of appreciation. That’s how slowly my interest in cooking began to develop and in an attempt to give a helping hand to my wife, I got into cooking.”

In his work life of 35 years, Subburathina travelled regularly and was hardly ever home to help his wife. That’s why post-retirement, he decided to make up for it. Over the last four to five years, he has been cooking regularly and thoroughly enjoys it.

All about his Tamil MasterChef experience

“With day to day cooking, I began to develop an interest in a variety of cuisines like Italian, Mexican and more and started trying my hands on them too. With time I opened my cooking page on Instagram and started getting love from my Insta followers. I would cook my dishes, take photos and post them on my Insta page. That’s how the casting agency for Tamil MasterChef picked me up,” he says.

The auditions were an extensive process. Subburathina had to appear for the auditions in two phases - one in Chennai and the final round in Bangalore. In the final round, he had to take part in live cooking and cooked millet soup that got him to the main episode.

“It was an unforgettable moment to be selected as one among the top 24 contestants out of 1500 contestants who were auditioned for the Tamil MasterChef. It was an intriguing experience for me to be in front of 15 cameras shooting the scene. That was happening to me for the first time. That too with leading Tamil actor Vijay Sethupathi hosting the show. The TV show did get me new friends and all the co-contestants were very friendly and my Instafamily were happy that I was able to make it,” he says.

Instagram and his grandchildren are his sources of encouragement

“Best moments for me as a chef are the appreciations that I get from my family and Instafamily daily. I have 14000 Instagram followers. While I do not claim myself to be an influencer, it feels great to see the wave of boosting up that comes from my followers. Also, the requests from my grandchildren to make unique dishes for them make me try new dishes and my passion continues. Throughout the lockdown, I have been the sole pizza and burger maker for my grandkids and I loved making them,” he says.

Subburathina loves using the word seenager. He believes that age is just a number and one must keep pursuing a passion and not be idle in the older years.

He also shares with us two of his favorite recipes which are easy to make, tasty and healthy for older adults.

Caramel Pudding

Ingredients: 4 eggs, 1/2 litre milk, sugar & vanilla essence.

Method:

In a pan add 6 tsp of sugar and one tbs of water.

Let it melt and keep stirring. When the colour turns brown, remove from heat and pour it into a ramekin and rotate to enable it to spread uniformly (I used glass bowls). Ensure that the caramel is not overcooked to dark brown. It will turn bitter.

Beat the 4 eggs well, adding 1/3 cup of sugar. Add 1/2 litre of hot milk slowly and keep stirring. Boil it, stirring continuously so that the content thickens and coats the ladle if it is lifted from the milk. Pour the content into ramekins. Cover ramekins with foil.

Procedure 1:

Keep the ramekins in a cooker filled with water and over a raised ring (make sure that water does not touch the container/ramekins). Cover with a lid and cook ( don’t use weights) for 20-25 mins until the pudding is ready.

Procedure 2:

Place the ramekins covered with foil in a water bath and keep them in the oven and cook till the pudding is formed.

Once done, allow the pudding to cool. Refrigerate for 3 hours and de-mould (release the edges of the pudding from the mould with a sharp knife before de-moulding). Enjoy!

You can do plating with a sugar caramel cage.

Amaranth Soup

It is a simple, desi soup that can be made in a jiffy with just simple ingredients.

Ingredients:

Amaranth 11/2 cup (wash well and collect the leaves, cut and keep )

Cooked Dal - 2 TS

Garlic - 3-4 cloves

Ginger - 1 inch

Cumin / Jeera - 1 -TS

Crushed Black Pepper Powder - 1/2 TS

Onion -1

Salt to taste.

Method:

Put all the above into the pressure cooker, add a cup of water and cook for 2 whistles. After pressure is released, blend the contents, draining water. Sieve and discard the lumps. Add back drained water and adjust pepper & salt to taste. It is ready to serve.

(Option: Instead of cooked dal, you can add powdered dal while cooking. You may use Toor, Green gram or Chana Dal )

All photographs courtesy: @sengut2006/Instagram

Silver Talkies Members get a unique chance to get published with us. We welcome travelogues, family recipes, memoirs, oral history accounts, short stories, poems, humor and personal essays, tips on living well and if you are a qualified subject matter expert then your thoughts on your chosen topics as well. Email us at connect@silvertalkies.com to know more!

Silver Talkies Members get a unique chance to get published with us. We welcome travelogues, family recipes, memoirs, oral history accounts, short stories, poems, humor and personal essays, tips on living well and if you are a qualified subject matter expert then your thoughts on your chosen topics as well. Email us on connect@silvertalkies.com to know more!

From running virtual crochet groups to being featured in international crochet forums, Geeta Khanna shares how her art keeps her positive and engaged with the world.

She is the only Indian crochet artist featured by well-known Canadian author and crocheter, Michael Sellick in his book - The Crochet Crowd - A first-of-its-kind compilation of crochet artists from across the world. 

Meet 60-year-old Geeta Khanna from Thane, Maharashtra. She runs a free virtual group of over 21,000 crochet enthusiasts worldwide, offering them a platform to learn crocheting, exhibit products, find buyers and share their skills with other art enthusiasts. Khanna, a self-taught crocheter, has been crocheting for about four decades now. Her recent innovation has been crochet paintings - beautiful and time-consuming works that need immense focus, skill, and patience.

“It's very interesting to see how to crochet portraits and landscapes.  Framing these and hanging them on the walls of my house makes me very happy.  You can make anything, right from landscapes to portraits from crochet. Some websites help you convert any image to crochet grids to make these paintings. There are very few people who know this art currently. I am trying to spread this knowledge through my group. I have done around eight to 10 of such paintings till now. It requires quite a bit of detailing and a lot of hard work to make these, but in the end, it's all worth it,” she says. 

Khanna has lost count of the exact number of pieces she has created but keeps working on it to encourage others to take up crocheting. From TV  covers to table covers, sofa covers to bed covers, laces and handkerchiefs, handbags, and even kurtas, she has created them all.

“I was always keen on learning stitching and embroidery. Some of it was taught by my mother and I used to do a bit of it as a child. It was always a hobby for me and it still is. I never pursued it as a profession as I never wanted to involve money with it. I have learnt crocheting all by myself when I started learning it in my 20s. I used to buy Russian pictures guiding on crocheting that helped me pick up the basics. I practiced by making small stuff and honing my art. A couple of friends who were also into it helped me along. I have made more than 1000 laces and handkerchiefs, more than 100 handbags, around 50 bedcovers, and now lately I have started making my dresses (kurtas) completely from crochet,” 

- Geeta Khanna

Getting featured on an international crochet forum was a proud moment for Khanna. “It all started with my Facebook group, ‘Crochet and Much More'. I started this group around six years back. It has more than 21,000 members from India and around the world. A lot of people started to recognize me and my work through the group. A very well-known crochet artist from Nova Scotia, Canada - Michael Sellick, connected with me and asked me to share my work. He was compiling a book of people who have done extraordinary things with crochet worldwide. He sent me the first copy and I was elated to see my photograph amongst other crochet artists across the world. I was the only one from India featured in the book. It felt like an achievement.”

Khanna’s personal Facebook Page - ‘Threads, Needles And More’ has more than 6000 members where she shares her crochet and embroidery work and inspires other enthusiasts to share their works too. 

Khanna believes crochet can be great therapy, especially for older adults. “Crochet requires a lot of concentration. You can’t let your mind waver while crocheting. A single knot missed means a lot of re-do. So the art forces you to keep your mind concentrated with little to think about the world outside. Hence, it is very therapeutic for people of all ages. You let out negativity from your mind and in the end, the output of your art gives you extreme happiness. It de-stresses you, keeps your cognitive functions enhanced, enhances your brain health. It helps you to have a happy and healthy mind.”

When she’s not crocheting, Khanna loves embroidery and cooking. Her hobbies keep her active, focused, and positive. Connecting with hobbyists from different countries, cities, and backgrounds via her Facebook groups keeps her socially engaged and happy as she creates magic with her crochet hook.

Here are Geeta Khanna’s tips on crocheting for beginners:

• There are a lot of online videos to learn crochet.

• Like any other form of artwork, the only way to learn and hone your skill is by practising.

• Start by making small things out of crochet and slowly move towards complicated crocheting.

• Crocheters in online groups are always willing to lend a hand. Connect with them and keep learning.

All photographs courtesy: Geeta Khanna/Facebook

Did you like reading about Geeta Khanna's art? If you have a hobby that keeps you positive and creatively occupied, share with us in the comments below.   

Silver Talkies Member Yashpal Mehta takes a humorous dig at his inquisitiveness and justifies it well through his life’s stories. 

As a child, I was encouraged to be curious, and I had that childlike curiosity to learn the how, why and what of matters I didn’t know. Both my parents and teachers would consider asking questions a favorable trait and quite useful to gain more knowledge. Being curious as a child was a harbinger of the habit of forming inquisitiveness that I developed over time. This held me in good stead and also made me a good quizzer.  I was never told that ‘curiosity kills the cat’ and this particular idiom was learned the hard way. 

Almost two decades ago I was an attendee at a function organized by a local linguistic group in Muscat to listen to a lecture by an eminent cardiologist from Mumbai. He spoke at length on how the ECG, the treadmill, and the echo test were never conclusive and the only sure test to know of blockages in your heart was the angiography. The lecture was followed by the usual Q&A. I rose to ask the question, which was, “If angiography was the only sure-shot way of knowing the heart problem, then why not make it mandatory for those over fifty to get the test done the way it is prescribed for diabetes, BP and others?” The speaker asked me my name and said “Mr. Mehta, you must be paranoid because unless you have the symptoms of a heart disease you cannot get the angiography done”. 

I felt quite humiliated and what was supposed to be a layman’s knowledge-seeking question turned out to be an affront to the speaker. 

It’s a different matter that on the very next day I received an explanation from another doctor friend as to the reason why angiography can be dangerous if done routinely. He explained that the process of angiography could by itself trigger a heart attack and therefore not recommended as a routine. That incident certainly had ‘injured the cat’.

The other incident that I wish to narrate, for sure ‘killed the cat’. A very eminent lyricist and story writer from Bollywood while on a visit to Muscat was the speaker at a high-profile event where I happened to be an invitee. This time I did my research and prepared myself for the Q&A. With great trepidation, I posed my question. “Sir you have written such sublime lyrics like Ek Ladki Ko Dekha To Aisa Laga from the movie Love Story 1942 and such ridiculous songs like Ek Do Teen from the movie Tezaab.  How are you able to reconcile and switch from the sublime to the ridiculous?” 

Believe me, if I were to say that the speaker spoke for ten minutes explaining the difference in narration and context between the two songs and I was indeed satisfied. But then came the shocker. “The gentleman who asked the question may please stand up and apologize.” First, it was being paranoid and now I was made to apologize! 

The ‘injured cat’ had been completely ‘killed’. For quite some time my friends called me the Dhak Dhak Boy and I wasn’t sure whether to take this as a compliment or take umbrage. I also learned that there was just a very thin line between carving a niche and making a whole. 

My curiosity turned to furiosity. No more childlike inquisitiveness for me, no more attending the Q&A sessions which had become anathema going forward. I turned more and more to Uncle Google to get the answers to satisfy my desire to learn but I was never happy and became a silent and passive listener. Honestly, I could not suppress my penchant for being part of Q&A sessions for long and my true nature surfaced again, and how!

At one of the meetings of Toastmasters International, I heard a speech by a lady from the Philippines married to an Indian American and living in New Jersey. Her husband taught her two words of Hindi, “bus poocho,” and that did wonders when getting things done through her in-laws. She managed to stave off shaving the hair (Mundan) of her daughter by following the simple mantra of ‘just ask’. I thought to myself, if it can work for this lady then why not for me! This rekindled my desire to be once again an enquirer.

I also learned that the saying ‘curiosity kills the cat is incomplete and it actually goes as ‘curiosity killed the cat but satisfaction brought it back. I am now more than satisfied when I ask questions and I take the rebukes once in a while in my stride. I made up my mind to convert my furiosity to generosity for anyone who found my questioning uncomfortable.

Images courtesy Pixabay and Yashpal Mehta

Calling our Members to Write for Us!

Silver Talkies Members get a unique chance to get published with us. We welcome travelogues, family recipes, memoirs, oral history accounts, short stories, poems, humor and personal essays, tips on living well and if you are a qualified subject matter expert then your thoughts on your chosen topics as well. Email us on connect@silvertalkies.com to know more!

Here’s how age has added wings to the many hobbies of septuagenarian Romla Thomas, who embroiders, quilts and bakes mouthwatering cakes.

Who says age takes away one’s passion and purpose and leaves a lot of time with nothing to do? Ask Romla Thomas, 76, who still has many irons in the fire. This homemaker is the queen of applique and patchwork and also a great baker. Her winters are loaded with cake orders and for the rest of the year, her handcrafted quilts, table linens and wall hangings that boast of beautiful applique and patchwork are always in high demand. 

Thomas has lost count of how many applique and patchwork projects she has done until now.

“I have been doing patchwork for about 40 years now. I started with a few bed quilts and then got an order for a small hotel in Bangalore that wanted me to work on 400 quilts. At that time I had five other helping hands at home and that’s how my passion got a purpose. I delivered the order, successfully. And since then, I have always worked from home. Initially, I just pieced quilts together and after some time, I started adding appliques. Now, I mostly work on table linens and wall hangings and I do all the work by myself. I have been having exhibitions periodically.”

- Romla Thomas

Thomas is also a home baker and Christmas cakes are her speciality. “At Christmas time I do a lot of baking, especially the Xmas plum cake. November end to Christmas is a very busy time for me. While my target remains as 100 kgs of cake every year, I often do go over that,” she tells us. No fancy baking equipment for her. “I do everything with a small food processor and a small domestic oven,” says Thomas. 

Thomas is an ardent supporter of home run business and believes social media could be a very productive platform to showcase products. “Facebook and WhatsApp have been great ways of getting people to see the works of those who are not into commercial production and those who find it comfortable to work from home at their own pace and time as me. Since I am a dog lover with a keen interest in dog shows and had too many four-legged babies at home to look after, I never wanted to go out of my home to work on my passion and social media came to my help as a platform to showcase my works,” she says. 

Being busy with her bakes and craft has been an advantage for  Thomas as she grew older. “I am so grateful that I have these hobbies. Otherwise, I would have gone crazy during the lockdown. Since my children are not here, it is wonderful to be completely occupied with my hobbies.” Age is not a barrier for Thomas who works on her quilts for at least 6 to 8 hours a day. 

Thomas has some simple tips for beginners who would like to try their hands on applique works and baking. “For applique, you will need a good machine. I don't do any handwork at all. Starting a project and finishing fast is my aim. Baking is a very happy occupation. Follow recipes that have been tried out. Have a decent small oven in your kitchen. Take out all the required ingredients and then just go at it. You don't want to miss out on anything while you are baking the cake,” she says. 

Thomas believes that working on your hobbies does not depend on your age. Instead, giving your hobbies a purpose is the best way to age gracefully and happily. In case you already have a hobby or a small venture you run from home, please do share your experience with Silver Talkies as we work every day to add fuel to your dreams. 

Mail us on connect@silvertalkies.com with your stories.

All images courtesy Romla Thomas unless credited otherwise.

Kaur’s is a story of how generations can come together to help a senior citizen achieve her dream, without age ever being a roadblock. But as Supriya points out to us, the family’s support is powered by Kaur’s own desire to achieve something with her skill. A recent Instagram video shows Kaur supervising the process of making homemade mango pickles, watching over the chopping and adding the spices. https://www.instagram.com/reel/CS81s9Up5_i/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

“She is enthusiastic and involved in supervising and developing every aspect of the process. Each of her products has a story. And the idea is to make people feel the taste of their childhood, the pickle that the grandma would have made the halwa that a mother would have fed her child. That’s why the tagline bachpan yaad aa jaye”.

For Kaur, becoming an entrepreneur, after spending years dedicating herself to her home and family life, has been completely life-altering. It has given her a feeling of independence and empowerment. "Earlier she was known as just a wife and mother to someone. But today she is Mrs Harbhajan Kaur - An entrepreneur. I think that itself has been more rewarding than just financial independence," Supriya adds. Today, Kaur feels she has a larger family, beyond the circle of her own home. “She has people who like her products, send feedback and get inspired by her. She feels her family has grown larger, and that is her biggest achievement,” Supriya says. 

What has also changed is her confidence. She's open to learning, even taking critical feedback if any as a chance to improve and adapt her recipes and never thinking that she is too old for it. Kaur may not have travelled much but wants to know the places her products, which now include pickles, jams, chutneys and Indian sweets, travel to, the curious child in her intact in her 90s.  

Kaur’s work even caught the eye of Anand Mahindra, the chairman of the Mahindra Group, who often applauds interesting initiatives on Twitter. “When you hear the word startup, it brings to mind images of millennials in Silicon Valley or Bangalore, trying to build billion-dollar ‘unicorns’,” he wrote. “From now, let's also include a 94-year-old woman who doesn't think it's too late to do a startup.” 

Harbhajan Kaur’s story tells us that you are never too old to think of starting something new. That dreams and skills have no expiry date. Sometimes all it needs is to spell out your desire to work on your passion, and a loving family, to help propel the dream along. 

Image courtesy: https://www.instagram.com/harbhajansmadewithlove/

Mehta with his family

William Wordsworth said ‘The child is the father of man’. So was my son as far as I was concerned as he had perhaps unknowingly, opened a new path for me and a new way of looking at life. I did not start earning money as I was too old to change my income-generating pattern. I started ‘earning relationships’ instead.

My resolve to nurture and curate relationships got strengthened after watching a movie titled ‘Dilli 6’. In the movie, the protagonist returns from Canada with his grandmother to her former home, a chawl in the Delhi 6 locality. The young lad is asked by the neighbours to come to their home to have a meal and the boy says he is not hungry. To that, the wise old man in the group makes a profound statement: “Who on earth is calling you home to satiate your hunger? We are inviting you to build relationships”.

It was true and pathbreaking for me and that changed the way I looked at relationships. I began to spend more time with people, seniors, youngsters and children. I would ask the seniors about their family, their children’s names, what they were doing, and then began to maintain a diary with all the information. The next time I met an acquaintance, I would make it a point to enquire about his children with their names and how they were doing. I discovered how easy it was to convert acquaintances to friends just by recalling the names of their loved ones and knowing what they were doing. Remembering birthdays is another easy way of getting into the ‘heartbooks’ of people. The diary that I maintained included important milestones of every person I know.

Several parents would come up and say, “Oh the children these days have a mind of their own and one cannot get them to do what we wish them to do”. I decided to be a senior uncle instead of an old uncle to them and offered a menu of activities that would appeal to their young minds. I roped in the youngsters to join the Toastmasters, a forum for improving leadership and communication skills; arranged for online motivational programmes where they could be equal participants and empowered them to organise events including musicals and theatre.

A simple gesture of giving them a sum of money helped them to prepare a budget, keep a record of expenses and develop negotiation skills. Traits like these would make them better individuals and good managers. I have quite a few of them as my relatives now.

Mehta’s grandson who is also his best buddy and storytelling companion

My recent activity is with the school-going children. I have three grandsons and I’ve started storytelling sessions and word games with them. I send them words to make sentences with and they send back the replies on the phone. The idea caught on and has now extended to children living in the same building. The story sessions are something the kids look forward to. The Kid Brigade is now the new kid in my relationship block.

My better half sometimes says that I am wasting my time as the world at large is suspicious and selfish. Her typical response is that I would be better off just reading a book and keeping to myself. I brush aside her worries and continue with my relationship-building exercise. It does give me tons of happiness.

With apologies to Mark Twain, I am looking for the day when my son would say, “when I was 20 I thought my father was just a saver and when I turned 40, I realised how much my father had earned.”

Padmavathi with her husband

Life in the office wasn’t always smooth for Padmavathi. Initially, being the only female engineer at AIR Bangalore, she faced discrimination from some male colleagues, who even went to the extent of preventing her from technical training opportunities. “You are married. Go home and look after your children,” was something she heard often. It angered Padmavathi but she stayed quiet and uncomplaining, letting her work do the talking. Despite the unfair treatment, she stood her ground with dignity, impressing seniors with her knowledge of technical matters, including a visiting director from Delhi and becoming a favourite with the programming staff at AIR Bangalore for her meticulous attention to detail. A few years later, when other women joined the technical team, she became a role model to them, their friendships lasting beyond retirement.

The struggle to study and the discrimination Padmavathi faced hasn’t disappeared for women in India. But awareness, resources and changing workplace agendas have made the path smoother. Stories of pathbreakers like hers didn’t make headlines, but they did something bigger — helped create changes and shift mindsets, to make way for women who came after.

Padmavathi’s husband was a constant support throughout her career. Her sons tell us it was a marriage of equals, with both of them sharing responsibilities. Vinod remembers his mother leaving for early morning shifts at 4.30 am. “Someday we would not see her in the evening because she had a shift and would only reach home after we went to bed at night. So those were the days when my dad would be the one in the kitchen. Among our peer group, few mothers worked or had that kind of schedule and we were very lucky how organized our life was, even though both our parents were working.” The equality they saw at home left its mark on Padmavathi’s sons. “My mother would have a shift on Sunday mornings. It was my father who would give us kids an oil bath and have food on the table when my mother came back home from work in the afternoon,” Rajesh Chandrasekaran, her son, remembers.

Love for learning is rooted in Padmavathi and reflected in the education she ensured for her four children—Vinod, Rajesh, Murali and Pramod. “Education was the property we gave them,” she says.

“My mother values intellectual and spiritual knowledge. Her quest is really about the mind. Material possessions mean nothing to her,” says Vinod, who gifted her the Bhagwad Gita for one of her birthdays, and was amazed when she finished reading it in its entirety. Padmavathi now keeps herself fit with Yoga and Sudoku and is always “doing something or the other.” That desire to stay active kept her going even 20 years ago, after losing her youngest son Pramod, a doctor, to cancer. She is honest about the toll the grief took on her. “I prayed to God, please keep me engaged through the day, I can’t sit home and weep.” She picked herself up by joining the Nightingale Elder’s Enrichment Centre, a senior citizens’ group, to stay occupied.

Inspired by her late son’s desire to help the underprivileged, Padmavathi and her family started a trust, Pramod Ashraya, to fund education and medical needs. She worked on it until her health allowed, visiting schools, old age homes and cancer care centres, even after her husband’s death a few years ago. “It gave her a sense of purpose and she felt she was fulfilling her late son’s dream,” Rajesh says.

A giver at heart is how a close friend describes Padmavathi. “She cannot eat alone, without sharing food with someone else.” As we finish speaking, I ask how would she describe her years as a working woman in an emerging India of the 50s and 60s. She talks of her husband’s unflinching support and the discrimination at work that she faced head-on. She could have complained but being the stoic person she is, let her quiet courage make an impact. “I fought for equality too, you can write that,” she says, as we wrap up.

All images courtesy: Padmavathy Chandrashekaran & family

Every August, Silver Talkies records memories and instances of humanity, fortitude and courage during the Independence Years — stories of life in a newly independent India; crossing over during Partition and stories of finding freedom. You can access our archive here: The Independence Year.

Her writing was recently applauded by none other than Javed Akhtar who praised the level of reality stories like the one written and directed by Pahwa had brought to mainstream cinema.

When Pahwa speaks, you realise she has always been in touch with this reality, right from the days of Humlog, India’s first soap that aired in 1984. Pahwa played Badhki, the simple eldest daughter in the family who becomes a social worker.

She has fond memories of Humlog. “When Humlog was being cast, I was a theatre actress with the Sriram Theatre Repertory Company in Delhi. We heard about the concept but couldn’t imagine people would actually watch a daily soap. My salary at Sriram was Rs 600 a month. Humlog was going to offer us Rs 500 per day. It wasn’t just the daily soap concept that was unthinkable but the salary too!”

Pahwa was eventually convinced by the director P Kumar Vasudev to act in Humlog. It not only brought her fame but also showed her the power of mass media.

“Badhki, the character I played, did social work. Women started approaching me to help them and I approached women’s organizations in return. Some of these women were victims of domestic violence, some of the dowry demands. It helped me mature as a person, showed me how the world could be and taught me to be responsible about what I do on screen if that’s the impact it could have.”

Pahwa has continued bringing that reality to her characters on screen, especially when she plays a mother. “We have had a tragic, worshipful image of the mother on screen. My effort has been to make it feel real and give the character of the mother a twist that breaks the conventional image,” she says, particularly mentioning Susheela Mishra, the mother she played in Bareilly Ki Barfi as one. “Mothers are adorable but they are also humans, they also have faults. As an actress, I have tried to project that.”

Pahwa has played that role to the hilt in her real life, making a conscious choice to stay at home when her children were small. Married to the talented actor Manoj Pahwa, she is quick to add that the decision was her own and a well-thought one, despite having been a stage and theatre actress of note with several television dramas to her credit.

“In the 90s when daily soaps came in, it became harder for me to do them as the shooting commitment was of 30 days. That was tough for me as a mother of two small kids. My kids were at a crucial age and I also wanted to take time off for my self-development. I felt I would never get this time back with my children and made that decision.”

Pahwa continued to act on stage even during her break but she made a true comeback in her 50s, when her children had graduated.

In 2015, Pahwa won the Screen Best Supporting Actress Award for her role as Amma in Ankhon Dekhi, the story of an elderly couple. She is also noticed for her roles in Shubh Mangal Savdhan, Bala, Dum Lagake Haisha and Ek Ladki Ko Dekha To Aisa Laga among others, not to mention in popular DD shows like Hip Hip Hurray.

When Pahwa talks, you know she is an empathetic observer of the society around her, especially the place that women occupy in it.

“I feel women get lost in family responsibilities and crave pampering,” she says, reflecting the reality for many Indian homemakers. “Woh chahti hai ki ek cup chai kisi ke haath se use kabhi mile. Woh intezar itna lamba hota hai ki jab tak chai ki naubat aati hai chai use dawai ke saath di jaati hai. Someday I want to write about that woman, that homemaker who never gets to sit a moment and why her family needs to notice and ask her to pause.”

Pahwa is now keener on direction and would like an ideal mix of dividing the year equally between acting and directing. “I have a lot to say,” she laughs.

Her second innings has been a blessing. It has reminded her to take care of her health better and focus on what she really wants. “When you work in later life for your passion, you have more observation power, the advantage of the wisdom and a better understanding of life. The thehrav (pause) I had in life helped me reconnect with my passion.”

As Pahwa warms up to better work in the future, let’s raise a toast to that. Both behind the camera and in front of it.

These traditional South Indian recipes with a twist by a surgeon turned chef are a must-try at home and may fuel your second innings passion. 

Austrian chef, Wolfgang Puck said – “Cooking is like painting or writing a song. Just as there are only so many notes or colors, there are only so many flavors—it’s how you combine them that sets you apart.”

Dr. M Mohan Rao, 83, lives by that belief. The doctor turned self-taught chef took up cooking as a hobby post-retirement out of sheer love and passion for the art of cooking.

While his career as a surgeon made him play with scalpels and scissors, his love for spatulas, graters, and knives since childhood remained intact and did not dampen his love for cooking. Flashback to 1999 when Dr. Rao lost his wife and decided to begin his cooking adventure.

“When my wife Uma passed away, I was living in Chennai, busy with my surgery consultations, conducting multiple surgeries a week, and attending some emergencies too. My children and their spouses were still studying medicine then. I was 61 then. Since my needs were simple and I always had a knack for cooking, I started cooking my own meals and trying out various dishes,” says Dr. Rao.

The first few dishes were a disaster but Dr. Rao improved on them with the help and advice of his chef guru Prabhakar Bhat who ran the canteen in his hospital. Dr. Rao mentions Mr. Bhat’s contribution in his book ‘Glimpses of Surgery and a Surgeon’. For the next two years, he managed cooking all by himself until his son and daughter-in-law moved in with him. He was a pro by then.

After retirement, Dr. Rao shifted to Mysore in 2003 and eventually to Bangalore in 2013. “ I started living in a fantastic senior citizens colony and used the canteen facilities on and off. Since the beginning of 2020, once the pandemic started, I do all my cooking myself because I enjoy cooking. It is a great hobby and a remarkable way to spend time. We, the residents of this colony, often exchange healthy dishes and share with each other their benefits, and that gives us a great opportunity to socialize,” he says.

  Dr. Rao is now an expert home chef, specializing in traditional South Indian cuisine, especially Mangalorean. He has started a cooking blog for healthy and tasty dishes with a twist. You can visit his Facebook page too to get some of his favorite self-cooked dishes. Dr. Rao believes cooking is a great stress buster and is equal to a stint of meditation. Apart from cooking, he has dedicated his second innings to spiritual pursuits and has authored another book ‘One Step To Moksha’.  

Here’s Dr. Rao sharing his top recipes with us, including some useful kitchen tips:

Bitter Gourd Menaskai

This is a signature Udupi dish.

Ingredients:

Mustard seeds, urad dal, chana dal, jeera, coriander seeds – all these about 1 tsp

Red chilies – Byadgi or Ghattada Menasu 2-3

Coconut gratings or pieces of about 1 tablespoon

¼ tsp Turmeric powder

½ tsp asafoetida powder

White til (black ones can be used as well)/or Sesame seeds – one tsp

Tamarind about the size of 1 large lime

Jaggery – about 1 ½ times amount as tamarind

For seasoning – mustard, red chili, curry leaves

Bitter gourd -chopped, about ¾ cup

Spray the bitter gourds with a solution containing diluted vinegar and cooking salt, rub them after 10 minutes and thoroughly wash under tap water. This is to get rid of all pesticides. Deseed only if seeds are firm and ripe, cut into suitable sizes. In a bowl, add turmeric powder and table salt to the vegetable pieces and mix well. After about 15-20 minutes or longer, squeeze out and discard the bitter liquid from the vegetable and keep it stored in a plastic box. This can be kept in the freezer for a long time. Before finally using part of it, take and keep it out and remove the portion of it needed for the day. Rest of it can be put back in the freezer.

Salt to taste

Coconut oil or other cooking oil 3-4 tsp for cooking and seasoning

Green chilies - 2

Method:

Roast Sesame seeds in a small container in medium flame for about a minute or less till it starts spluttering and aroma comes and keep them aside to cool. Don’t over-roast.

In a Tawa using about 1 ½ tsp of oil, roast all masalas including coconut. Cool this. Both these two items including sesame seeds are to be ground into a fine paste in a mixie, adding some water as needed.

Soak the tamarind in water for about 10 minutes, squeeze out and strain the tamarind juice repeatedly into a Tawa to about a cup of dilute tamarind juice. Add jaggery also to it and dissolve it. Boil this liquid for about a minute till the raw smell goes.

Then add the bitter gourd pieces and salt as needed and cook for a few minutes covering with a lid, till cooked and soft, about 5 minutes. Now add the masala paste, and obliquely cut green chilies. Mix well and boil in low flame for 2-3 minutes. Taste and add more salt and/or jaggery as per your preference. It should be slightly sweetish.

Generally, obliquely cut green chilies are a better option than slitting. It exposes the spiciness of the chilli better and the user can squeeze it further or even eat the pieces if one desires the dish to be spicier or discard the pieces if one chooses.

Transfer it to a serving dish, sprinkle some asafoetida powder and put seasoning with mustard, red chilies, and curry leaves in coconut oil.

The Menaskai is now ready to serve. This can be eaten with hot white rice, curd rice, Rice Idli, Udupi kadubu, Rice Semiya, Bread, any Roti or just lick it up and enjoy! The total time to prepare is 30 minutes.

Thakka Thokku Biryani

The name Thakka Thokku Biryani is a twist of the Thakkali Thokku Biryani, a Tamilian dish.

Ingredients:

  Rice – one cup

Ghee – 2 to 3 tsp

Dry Chillies – 5 to 6

Cinnamon– 2 pieces

Clove/Lavanga – 2

Cardamom/Yelakki – 2

Bay leaves – 2

Cashew nuts, full or half – a few

Tomatoes- 2 to 3

Red Chilli powder- 1 to 1 ½ tsp

Coriander leaves – few sprigs

Salt as needed  

Method:

Wash rice and cook it in an electric rice cooker or pressure cooker. It takes about 15 minutes. At the same time, in a Kadai, heat 2-3 tsp of ghee and add cut dry chilies, patte, lavanga, yelakki – just split open bay leaves, and cashew nuts full or split. Fry on a medium flame for about 3 minutes. Now add long thin slices of tomato and saute for about 3-4 minutes till the tomato becomes soft and mushy. Add 1 to 1 ½ tsp of red chili powder and the required quantity of salt and mix well. By this time cooked rice would be ready. Add rice little by little, mix well and cook for 2 minutes on low flame. Finally, transfer to a serving dish and sprinkle coriander leaves. Serve hot and eat with cucumber and onion raita and papad.

The total time taken to prepare is about 20 to 25 minutes.

Mango Voggarane

You can try this if you bring home sour ripe mangoes.

Ingredients:

One or two sour ripe mangoes

Green chilies – one for each medium-sized mango

Jaggery – 1 ½ teaspoon powdered for each mango

Salt – ¼ to ½ tsps

Items for seasoning – coconut oil, mustard, one mor molaga (Curd chilly), and curry leaves

Asafoetida – ½ tsp, optional, to give it a zing.

Method:

Peel the mangoes and cut the flesh into pieces. Add 1 or 2 green chilies, powdered jaggery, and a little salt, and just puree it in a mixie. Transfer it to a serving dish and add tempering/tadka/voggarane. Adding some Asafoetida powder is your choice.

You will need 5 minutes to make it.

Food Image Courtesy: Dr Rao’s blog

Gandhi’s struggle began in 1974 when he was diagnosed to have corneal ulceration in both eyes. He was a second-year student of chemical engineering at that time. Refusing to give in, he began the journey to beat all odds. Gandhi shared with Silver Talkies excerpts from his book, Can Surmount. We deeply regret the sad demise of this precious soul and hope his life can inspire all of us to surmount the odds.

Image Courtesy: Facebook

It is perhaps fitting that Mrs Pollifax entered my life quite by chance. My eyesight having weakened, I now ‘read’ by listening to audiobooks. In my search for another, totally different book, I happened to click, in error, on ‘Mrs. Pollifax on Safari’ by Dorothy Gilman. Instead of my usual reaction of clicking back out and continuing my search for the book I wanted, I stopped and listened. The narrator, Barbara Rosenblat, is superb with her voice modulation and held my attention.

Within minutes, I was completely hooked to the tale that was unfolding.

Mrs Pollifax, it turned out, is a spy for the CIA – having become a spy quite by chance in her sixties. She is a delightful character with her penchant for crazy hats and her fondness for writing and receiving snail-mail. Maybe that’s why I love her – I’m known for my collection of hats myself, and I send out snail-mail letters by the dozen each month. But those characteristics aside, Mrs Pollifax possesses an uncanny ability to perceive things others miss out on. She also happens to have a brown belt in karate. Some tell me she sounds a bit like Jane Marple. So – it’s confession time. I don’t know anything about Jane Marple, not having read the books by Agatha Christie. Somehow, mysteries haven’t been my cup of tea thus far and it’s intriguing to me that I should love the Mrs Pollifax books so much. I’m trying to figure out why.

It’s because of Mrs Pollifax herself, mainly. Her charm, her innocent appearance, her absolute integrity, loyalty and courage. And her incredible sense of humour. Returning from an adventure with her arm in a sling, she responds to her husband’s anxious ‘Not a broken arm?’ with a dismissive ‘No, no, darling, just a bullet.’ She is also well versed in human nature, observing people’s reactions, their gestures, their eyes, and picking up clues where none exist for her fellow agents. She forms deep friendships and shares her wisdom with new-found friends, in pithy and profound one-liners like ‘There are no happy endings, Jenny, only happy people.’ A completely lovable character who is well up to the larger-than-life situations that face her.

Image courtesy: Amazon.com

What faces her is travel. The books, set in various countries across the globe, give a rich understanding of local people and customs and an idea of the history and politics of the region. The terrain and architecture are vividly described. The plot is usually woven in with the politics, and a series of events leading to a breathtaking climax. Though I am new to spy/detective fiction, I think I can say that the author, Dorothy Gilman, is completely fair to her readers. All the pieces of the jigsaw are provided, and I have never felt that the solution was unfair. There are always hints to point the reader in the right direction, should the reader be inclined to solve the mystery along with the protagonist.

The protagonist, who points out that language isn’t a barrier to ferreting out information because human beings are the same the world over, with their hopes and aspirations, greed and hatred, all of which are mirrored by the eyes and need verbal utterance.

To those readers for whom the plot is important and spoilers are not welcome, I’d advise you to read the books in reading order. Characters often refer to earlier adventures (‘they had first met each other when they were tied back-to-back by hoodlums’), and in a few cases, the same character appears in a subsequent book with a new agenda. A villain sometimes re-appears as a sympathizer or vice-versa. I’m listening to the books in random order and enjoying them.

Being, on the whole, averse to the bloodshed that is common in mystery novels, I was happy to find it confined in the Mrs Pollifax books only to scenes in which it was really required. Only one book of the eight I’ve heard so far, “Mrs Pollifax and the Lion Killer” has sinister undertones throughout and creeped me out a bit. Regular readers of mystery novels might also be able to discern the hint of a formula in the writing (two sub-plots converging; the first arrest being incorrect and so on) but this in no way detracts from the enjoyment of the book.

What may detract younger readers is the dated technology. The fourteen books span two-and-a-half decades, from the sixties to the eighties, and such dilemmas as how to send a cable without the switchboard operator knowing the contents would not be relatable to nowadays.

I hope some readers do actually click on the free audiobooks and allow Dorothy Gilman and Barbara Rosenblat to carry them into the delightful world of Mrs Pollifax. She is the one who has made me appreciate the genre, and I’m grateful.

Cover image courtesy: Pixabay

Sonali Bhatia is an avid reader.  She is also a dedicated post-mark collector and has written about this rare and interesting hobby for us. Read about her quest for Post Cancellation Marks here.

The Past And The Present: Being on AIR for 20 years

Chhabra’s love for radio goes back to her childhood in Bhilai, a small but cosmopolitan steel township in Chhattisgarh. “A native of Odisha, my father was an engineer in the Bhilai Steel Plant and I grew up there. My parents were extremely liberal and being the eldest daughter, their expectation of me was tremendous. My father was an avid radio listener and very particular that I was getting the best of education and honing my language skills well. He insisted I listened to radio for the same.”

Radio, in those days, happened to be the sole source of not just entertainment, but also knowledge on current affairs, international relations, classical music, arts and culture and more. We had a Bush Radio and it was considered to be one of the prized possessions we had and was kept on the topmost shelf,” recollects Chhabra.

Chhabra got hooked on to radio and could not imagine her life without it. “My craze for radio was such that my father made me two speakers with long wires that could be carried from the drawing-room to my own room. On the days we would have guests at home, I would listen to the radio from my room without any interruption,” she recalls. Apart from listening to news and documentaries, Chhabra loved listening to dramas and the National Program of Drama was her favourite show on AIR.

Golden memories at All India Radio, Mumbai

Her father wished that she join the civil service but Chhabra wanted to become a radio broadcaster, working on youth programs on AIR and DD during college. She joined All India Radio in 1980 through Indian Broadcasting Service (IBS) which was a public service and required her to clear the UPSC exam. She topped the list.

“Radio broadcasting has been through a significant evolution over the last few years,” says Chhabra. She believes the job is tougher today. “Earlier, AIR used to be the only broadcasting platform covering education, entertainment, news and everything all by itself. Now we have multiple private channels which are very contemporary. It has become fiercely competitive and the commercial aspect has become more important than content. The challenges of today are different with not only competition with private TV channels but also from OTT platforms. I really can’t compare today’s radio with our times. Their jobs have become more challenging.”

“The primary difference that I observe is that the job of today’s announcers is only to entertain and their language is so different. In our time it was not so and the announcers had to be impeccable in everything, especially the language, and they needed to speak really well. Content certainly keeps changing with time but the language should not be diluted. Also, all the channels of recent times sound so alike. Planning should be made to bring in variety so that every channel would have different flavours and each station would have its niche audience,” she says.

Chhabra doesn’t think radio will die. “Digital radio is such a big thing today and anybody can start a podcast. Radio is a very personal space, refuels your imagination and is a dynamic medium. With the help of technology and social media, radio will certainly go a long way and create more magic with the voice,” says Chhabra.

For Rini Simon Khanna, joining All India Radio was quite a story

In 1979 Rini Simon Khanna was a schoolgirl when her career with radio broadcasting began. She was in standard 11 and at the prestigious Shankar competition’s prize distribution ceremony when the then Minister of Information and Broadcasting, Vasant Sathe heard her voice and told her she should be on the radio. He connected her with the reporters from All India Radio covering that event and soon Khanna received an audition call from AIR, cracked it and started working in Yuva Vani.

The job taught her scriptwriting, the art of speaking and the grammar of it all. She worked with Delhi B, General Overseas Service and more as an announcer, voiced for documentaries and feature films on AIR, read news and did live commentary on the radio for several events while still a student! Khanna has been attached with radio news reading until 2007 and even now goes back to the station to select and train radio newsreaders and for voicing and commentary.

Rini Simon Khanna at work in the radio station

“BBC radio was a huge part of my growing up and learning. I loved listening to Radio Moscow, the signature tunes and Srilankan broadcasters. Binaca Geetmala by Amin Sayani is till now a fabulous time capsule. My fascination with listening to new voices, their choice of words, way of handling a topic still remains. For me, radio is the easiest and cost-effective way of travelling the world,” she says.

There’s a lot that can be learnt and done on radio today, believes Khanna.

“Although a lot of things can be explored via radio broadcasting, sadly, all private channels are catering to only music, that too just the Bollywood industry. There are no news, documentaries and features. Only AIR offers a complete package – news, weather, natural disasters, knowledge about certain festivals. Western music is also limited,” she rues.

Radio is the quietest space without any chaos in today’s mass communication, says RJ Kay

Karan Edward Machado aka RJ Kay is a young jockey in radio broadcasting and joined Radio One as an intern in 2013. After finishing his college, he joined the same radio network in 2015 as a digital producer. He is currently the youngest morning show (Good Morning Bangalore) host on India’s only international radio network.

“In a largely digital age, only the radio has the power to personally connect with its listeners. I try to make myself relatable and approachable by consciously being on the same level as my listeners. While many perceive radio from the context of only speaking, I think it is also very much about patient listening which is rare these days. Today’s radio broadcasting is more about giving that quiet and chaos-free state to the listeners, one-on-one, to listen and feel good.

According to RJ Kay, in the world of mass communication that’s too noisy, radio provides the solace. “However, when things like radio live streaming start, radio will have a further huge scope to explore. There’s much more that radio can do by imbibing more digitalisation and it could be a combination of honesty and credibility. Radio symbolises innovation through audio and being an integral part of someone’s routine and that will never fade,” he says, signing off.

We are all aware of the first part of this definition, which is to be thankful, but what about the latter part? Do we show appreciation and kindness where it is richly deserved? Or are we so self-engrossed in ourselves that we have no time to thank those who serve us in any way?

Let’s take the most common example here — our house help. Do we thank them or show an appreciation for what they do for us regularly? Or do we think that just because we pay them, we don’t need to thank them? After all, what they do for us enriches our lives by giving us the time and opportunity to do what gives us joy and takes the drudgery away from our lives. That calls for gratefulness!

What about our spouses and family members? If they do something for us do we show them any appreciation? Or do we just take them for granted? We need to stop, reflect and correct our attitude if we want to spread joy around us.

As we reflect on our lives gone by, we realise that we are truly not in a bad space. Life has, in some ways given us what we thought we deserve.

Let me clarify the word ‘deserved’. Think about this carefully and deeply! If you look at yourself and your situation today, you will realise that you are exactly in the place you imagined yourself to be, based on what you thought you were entitled to and taking into account your own true feelings of your capabilities and limitations! Don’t for a moment, believe that you haven’t got what you wanted or felt you deserved. Reflect on this deeply and you’ll realise the truth of this statement. You are the creator of your life. So shouldn’t you be grateful?

Psychological evidence has shown that grateful people are more attentive, determined, energetic, enthusiastic, helpful, interested, joyful, and optimistic than those who aren’t. I’m sure we’d all like to be in this category! The important mind shift that happens through being grateful is that we slowly start thinking about the positives in our life, instead of dwelling on the negatives!

My own personal experience has been that when I practise gratitude, I raise my happiness quotient immediately! I’m happy and feel an immense sense of privilege to be where I am! To be surrounded by a loving and supportive family, caring friends and doing what I love to do! Look at your own lives and dwell on the positives. They are aplenty!

Here’s a beautiful quote by Marcus Aurelius who was Roman emperor from 161 to 180 and a Stoic* philosopher….

So how do we practice this virtue of Gratefulness?

Here’s a simple exercise that I do every morning, I fold my hands in prayer and thank the universe for any three happy gifts I experienced the previous day. You can do the same! Anything small or big. A smile, a hug, appreciation in any form, or maybe something bigger like your family, your living circumstances, your work, your comforts that maybe you are fortunate to have?

It’s your mind and your choices, so be grateful for whatever you think matters to you.

Alternatively, keep a gratitude journal, and write in it every single day – Messages of Gratefulness.

Thank the people around you. Those who stood by you through the highs and lows in your life. They may be family, friends, colleagues, bosses, gurus, anyone that pointed you in the right direction for your growth — physical, emotional, mental or spiritual!

It’s never too late to thank them, in any way that works for you and them. It’s a great exercise to do at a later age when you have the time to reflect and review the years gone by!

So whip out the ‘thank you’ notes or message them immediately! Better still, call them. You are doubling happiness, yours and theirs!

A short note on abundance!

Abundance is a state of mind, and it is not something you strive for. If you feel or act with abundance, the universe senses it and returns it to you multifold! It is the Karmic law of giving and receiving! So, learn to be grateful and abundance will flow automatically because you have shifted your mindset to one of ‘Having’ and not ‘Wanting’.

I’ll end with this beautiful quote from Ekhart Tolle, a famous author and philosopher. He says “Acknowledging the good that you have in your life, is the foundation of all abundance.”

All it requires is awareness and a shift in your thinking!

*An ancient Greek school of philosophy founded at Athens by Zeno of Citium. The school taught that virtue, the highest good, is based on knowledge; the wise live in harmony with the divine Reason (also identified with Fate and Providence) that governs nature and are indifferent to the vicissitudes of fortune and to pleasure and pain.

Varde has a unique style of her own that she carries off with panache. She’s often dressed in sarees and scarves designed with the artistic font she devised, called AumAkshar, which showcases shlokas, mantras and poems. It reads in English but has the appearance of the Devnagri script. Varde uses it across her art – from the canvas to the saree.

Family has always been Varde’s support system. Her art is probably in the genes — her father was famous Gujarati theatre person Vijay Bhat. ‘He encouraged me to do applied arts at a time when many parents wouldn’t have,” she adds.

Today her creative cheerleaders are the younger people in her family. Now with her daughter-in-law, Varde, a self-confessed introvert, is discovering her performer in her.

“I’m 65. For 60 years we have done what it expected of us. You have to be fearless at some point. Because you have lived your life. And you’re leaving a legacy for the younger girls who are coming. So if you’re not going to stand up for yourself (to age stereotyping), and for them, then I think your life is wasted.”

We couldn’t have done better straight-talking than that!

Photographs courtesy: Manjri Varde

Be sure to take along a burkha, my friend had advised me as I prepared to leave for Riyadh. I need not have worried; the hotel we stayed in, had spare burkhas for visitors and lent me one—quite a fancy one too, in rich satiny silk lavishly decorated with sequins and embroidery.

Like all visitors, we set out for sightseeing. The opulence of this oil-rich middle eastern country was awe-inspiring. The row of jewellery shops alone was enough to dazzle the eye, especially the gold artifacts, from necklaces to bangles to fancy ear ornaments, each costing a fortune and displayed with lavish abandon. As I was looking around, the call for midday prayers sounded, and immediately, the shop staff left their counters and headed for the nearest mosque. They did not even bother to pull down the shutters while leaving the shop and its valuable goods.

The place where the burglars were beheaded

I was taken aback. Couldn’t someone steal all the expensive stuff, I wondered, and asked our local guide. “No way,” he answered, placidly, before adding, “Come here, I’ll show you why.” He led us to an open space close by, with coconut palms growing around.” That’s where burglars are beheaded” he said, pointing to a tree. The punishment is so summary that no one dares to attempt any burglary or stealing. Apparently, it works.

With strict segregation of the sexes, plus all women in burkhas, the adolescents still find innovative means of circumventing the taboos and having fun. The ubiquitous mobile phone facilitates interactions without personal physical proximity. A boy on a bike sees a teenage girl in a car and dials her number (he probably knows her?) and she promptly answers; they have a long conversation, laughing and joking. Long-distance wooing? Looks like it. I have seen girls even blow kisses over the phone. Sometimes you can have fun without holding hands too….

One evening I was at a formal banquet hosted by the royal family; at the table, I had been assigned, there were three others –all women in burkhas of course, but as we sat one of them lifted her burkha to uncover her face, and I saw a heavily made up, pretty face, with bright lipstick and eye shadow, the works. She turned out to be a very rich entrepreneur, running an export business and owning an apartment in New York. What was the point, I wonder, in putting on makeup if the face is to be covered from view? She answered, “I don’t put on makeup for others to see. I do it for my own pleasure, I like putting on cosmetics and looking at myself in the mirror.” It was an answer I had not thought of earlier.

During the dinner, television cameras focused on the guests and one of them swiveled his camera towards our table. Quickly the woman covered her face and turned away. “I don’t want strangers to look at my face,” she declared. Why not? After all, she is well travelled and spends a lot of her time overseas. She gave me a long look and said, “Madam, will you lift up your sari to show your leg on camera? Of course not. Similarly, I don’t like to expose my face, it is also a part of my body.” Her reply was an education to me, about a different female perspective.

Decorum is defined in different ways in different cultures. The American woman in short, tight hot pants thinks it is okay to reveal her physical attributes. Asians differ; our cultural norms are different. Similarly, Arabian norms are different. “No, I don’t feel oppressed,” my new friend said. “It is the American woman who is oppressed by the need to dress in a particular way.”

Covering and baring are personal decisions, and what counts is the freedom to be comfortable with whatever one chooses.

The Making Of An Unforgettable Lexicographer

Born in Thalassery, Kerala in 1938, Sreedharan dropped out of school after the fourth standard and started working at a Beedi factory. Life was certainly not a bed of roses but nothing could deter him from gaining knowledge. “While working in the factory I would read extensively whenever I could manage to get some time out and passed the Elementary School Living Certificate (ESLC) examination privately. During my younger years, I devoted most of my time to studies and to teach others as part of literacy programs,” he says.

Sreedharan had a fondness for language and while studying it he focused on different scripts, writing manners, grammar, colloquial usages of words and more. In the articles he had written for several Malayalam dailies and magazines, he suggested corrections in popular linguistic norms in Malayalam. “I was greatly inspired by the books of A. R. Raja Raja Varma, Sheshagiri Prabhu, Campbell and I learnt Tamil while working at a Beedi factory in Palakkad,” he recalls.

His Extraordinary Language Learning Skills Leave Us In Awe

Sreedharan had a remarkable quality of sharpening his language skills from wherever he could. Getting a job to blueprint in Kerala Public Works Department helped him immensely in this. . “During this time, Dr TP Sukumaran, a professor at Nirmalagiri College, Kerala suggested to me the idea of compiling a dictionary of colloquial usages of words in Malayalam. I loved the idea and as I was already familiar with Malayalam and Tamil, I thought of learning the other two major Dravidian languages – Kannada and Telugu and compiling a dictionary connecting all four languages.” says Sreedharan.

He picked up languages from acquaintances and travelled across Karnataka and Andhra Pradesh several times. Interacting with the locals there helped him in learning the nuances of these languages.

The unique, multilingual dictionary by Sreedharan

A Multilingual Dictionary: Sreedharan’s Second Innings Goal

In 1994, Sreedharan retired from his service at the age of 55, devoted all his energy and resources to creating the multilingual dictionary, became a lexicographer and created history. He also corrected the errors in other commonly used dictionaries and included colloquial meanings of words.

Braving All Odds The Dictionary Is Now Available For All

Although he could complete the dictionary after years of hard work when he was 74, Sreedharan faced a lot of difficulties in publishing it because of economic viability and his own lack of formal academic qualifications.

The dictionary was submitted to the Kerala Bhasha Institute eventually. “However, due to a lack of experts to evaluate the work and difficulties in proofreading, only the Malayalam to Tamil dictionary was published in 2012 instead of all the four languages. Sometime later, the handwritten manuscript went missing from Kerala Bhasha Institute and after filing a legal notice, I got it back in 2014. Another copy of the manuscript is with Kerala Sahitya Academy under consideration,” he says.

It was in November 2020 that the entire dictionary was finally published and launched, thanks to the collaborative efforts from the Senior Citizens Forum in Kerala. It has been a dream come true for the octogenarian lexicographer who is blessed with the gift of languages and the final crowning of his second innings goal.

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“In Kerala women of my mother’s age are expected to stay behind the closed doors, dedicate their entire life to household chores, raising children and taking care of everyone in the family. But nobody bothers about their likes and dislikes. My mom has always been a travel lover, even more than me. When others of her age would swallow the content of fashion magazine and cookbooks, my mom would get engrossed in travel magazines, look for new places, admire the pictures and visit them in her dreams until I decided to actually take her to all those places she wanted to visit,” adds Krishnan who believes it is his responsibility to fulfill his mother’s desire to travel.

Magnificent Maharashtra, their travel prelude

It all began back in 2015 when he successfully convinced his mom to travel with him to Mumbai to see a friend. “Initially my mom would hesitate to come along. But during that time, the magic happened and she agreed to visit my friend to see his new-born in Mumbai as it was supposed to be just a two-day-long trip,” says Krishnan who made a sudden plan to visit Nasik from Mumbai with his mother after that. Krishnan took his amma to the temples in Nasik that boasted of the rich Meraki architecture that blew her mind.

“She wowed at the intricate carvings and scintillating statues and did not want to leave. She particularly loved the golden Lingam at the Trimbakeshwar Shiva Temple. It is then when I realised that I should take her out more often,” says Krishnan. They spent a night in a vineyard in Nasik and Krishnan’s amma got a chance to know about wine, which she had never experienced earlier.

From Nasik, the mom-son duo visited Pune, Lonavla and returned to Mumbai to take the flight back to Kerala. What apparently happened to be just a two-day trip lasted for nine long days. Since then there has been no stopping the duo.

Varanasi and Himachal, the son’s Valentine’s Day gift to his mom

Four months after their Maharashtra trip, Krishnan had a strange dream where he woke up to the Shiva aarti at the Dashashwamedh Ghat in Varanasi holding his mom’s hands and that was his clarion call. He quickly booked two tickets, made his mom pack the bag in a hurry and left for the city of temples.

“We started our journey on February 14, Valentine’s Day. While most other men celebrate their spouses on this day, I decided to treat my amma,” says Krishnan. They had a fulfilling trip in Varanasi. Starting from the aarti, the Ganges, the Ghats, the temples, the ancient alleys, the pedas, they explored it all. On the scheduled date, they boarded a train to Delhi from where they would catch their flight back to Kerala.

“That’s when the twist in the story happened. The travelling ticket examiner on that train was also from Kerala and while chatting with him during the journey, we came to know that the final destination of our train was Shimla. Within a few minutes my mom and I decided to upgrade our tickets and cover Himachal which wasn’t planned at all. And it was so much fun,” says Krishnan.

The Himachal Blast

When they reached Shimla, they hardly had any woollens to wear and headed straight to the market to get some to keep themselves warm. They booked a woodhouse in a silent valley in Shimla and enjoyed the tranquil mountains and hot water springs.

“We headed to Manali the next day and enjoyed the captivating calm there. From Manali, I decided to book a bike and gift amma a bike ride all the way from Manali to the Rohtang Pass. It was the best decision ever I made in my life. While she was a little tense at the beginning, amma thoroughly enjoyed the ride. She was excited, singing out loud as we cut through the cold breeze, spreading out both her hands. At Rohtang Pass she was rolling on the snow. It was as if the sexagenarian became a teenager in the wink of an eye,” says Krishnan.

The Dubai Adventures

After Himachal, Krishnan took his mom to Agra, Mathura, Amritsar and Kathmandu. In 2018 December, they travelled to Dubai. “This trip was loaded with nostalgia for my mother as she had lived in Dubai with my dad 38 years back. Apart from visiting Abu Dhabi, Ferrari World, we revisited the colony where my parents used to live. That was amma’s wish. I had connected with one of their old neighbour’s daughters in Dubai on Instagram and when we reached there, my amma ran like a child to their old apartment. We visited my parents’ home in Dubai, met with old friends and it was a moment of reunion for mom.”

Krishnan loves travelling with his mom. “It feels amazing to give amma the taste of freedom after she has spent all her life raising three children,” he says.

Geethamma herself is the perfect example of active ageing. She keeps herself engaged in exercise, yoga and unique breathing techniques that help her keep steady when she travels at a higher altitude. “I teach amma these techniques as she needs to keep fit for being able to travel more. I am waiting for the Covid-19 crisis to get a little better. As soon as it settles down, we will plan for our next trip with adequate safety measures,” adds Krishnan.

Image Courtesy: Sarath Krishnan

When I was 23 I started working with the Airports Authority of India as a ground hostess. I worked in Chennai, Delhi and Mumbai airports. Mine was a job that worked in shifts making it quite strenuous. Life went on, I enjoyed it, but was always busy managing the family, kids and work. Then something shifted. When I was 53 I took voluntary retirement as I thought 30 years of routine work was enough and I needed to do things I liked and spend time the way I wanted.

For the next three years, I got busy taking care of my daughters as they were in college. Meantime I also did my Diploma in Counselling from Banjara Academy, Bangalore which gave me a boost and I started seeing life from a better perspective. I started enrolling in group activities, attended classes of my interest and enjoyed the time I had with my girls. We even went on a few trips together.

My first solo trip was at 56. I went to Sikkim which was very interesting. I landed at Bagdogra Airport, drove to Kalimpong, checked into a hotel, freshened up and sat in front of the TV with some food. This was at 9 pm and just then our honourable PM Narendra Modi started talking about demonetisation. I just remembered I had only two notes of Rs 1000/- with me and my card. I was totally shattered. With all that chaos going on, I still managed five days in Gangtok, did my sightseeing, with the help of local people who just wrote down the expenses and sent it to the hotel owner I stayed with, which was settled on the last day I left Gangtok through a bank transfer.

This trip taught me so many lessons. I got the confidence to travel more and felt that enjoying with the locals and being one of them is the best way to see a place rather than staying in luxury hotels and having a perfectly planned trip.

I have visited 14 countries and many states in India since then. The child in me takes over, curious to know about things, not bothered about others or what they may think. I truly enjoy the ups and downs of each trip. It’s a great way to learn. The only disadvantage of a solo trip is relying on a selfie stick for photographs and also missing your loved ones when you enjoy or see something very beautiful.

I am not a very tech-savvy person but I learnt to book my stays online and manage everything by myself while travelling. Being a vegetarian I sometimes had food issues but managed with fruits and coffee.

I am 59 now and have started living my life doing things I love, like acting in a few promotional shoots and two short films, dancing, painting, cooking and following a healthy lifestyle. I wish to live life with no regrets so that towards the end, I must be able to tick many, if not all of my bucket list wishes. I believe that we should never get so busy making a living that we forget to make a life.

I am happy to be a member of Silver Talkies which has helped me make new friends, learn something new and keep me young at heart. I would specially thank my daughters for the support and the change in my attitude towards life rather than society.

I keep my travel simple and safe. I always keep some local people in the country I’m visiting in the loop and take their guidance if required. Travelling has given me immense happiness and I have started enjoying life much more. Looking forward to many more trips once Covid-19 is over.

Saraswathi Ram with her husband, late Sh. BSJ Ram, Deputy Commandant of Border Security Force (BSF) on their reception day on August 29, 1980

“I met Anantha Chari, the then Director-General of Border Security Force, explained my situation and requested him to provide a job in the Administration Department of BSF to the educated women who lost their husbands and were living without proper support, on compassionate grounds. He considered my request and selected 25 ladies from all the ranks and appointed us as Assistant Sub Inspectors and Constables. We were posted in various parts of the country in 1994 and were the first batch of women officers to get trained in BSF,” remembers Ram.

After joining BSF, Ram along with 24 other women from her batch underwent army training for 10 months which included physical training like March Past, running, drills and firing with a range of weapons. Throughout her 18-year-long career with BSF, Ram served at several wings of the BSF, eventually retiring in 2012 at the age of 57.

“During my career, I have never given a single chance to any of my senior officers or subordinates to utter a negative remark about my professionalism even though I was a single woman working among a crowd of men who were indeed supportive of my children and me,” says Ram.

Ram on her way to office after joining BSF

Recalling her challenging working days, Ram says she had to wake up in the wee hours in the morning, around 5 AM, prepare breakfast and lunch for her children and get them ready for school. “After sending them off to school, I would get ready, put on my khaki uniform and reach the office by 8:50 AM on my Kinetic Honda Scooter. I used to live inside the BSF Campus in Yelahanka, Bangalore which was 8 km away from my office.”

Being a single mom working a demanding job meant multi-tasking. Ram would get a lunch break for one and half hours and she would utilise this time to get back home and prepare evening snacks for the children, reporting back to work at 3 pm., Once back home at 6 pm, there was no respite as Ram would help the children with their homework, cook dinner, and put them to sleep. “While being with my children, I ensured they were always happy and never gave them the chance to think that they did not have a father,” adds Ram.

Ram after taking the oath as a sub-inspector

Ram has a hearty laugh when she walks down memory lane and realises how innocent she was at the time of her marriage. “Mine was an arranged marriage and my life after that was full of thrills. While I was a girl from a typical orthodox Brahmin family, my husband was Assistant Commandant in BSF and I had to often attend parties that I had never been to earlier. Their lifestyle, social mingling and food habits were very different from mine. Initially, I would get confused, feel uneasy and upset. I also faced a massive language problem as I did not know how to speak in Hindi and could only speak English and my mother tongue which most of the others could not comprehend. However, my husband was a guiding light for me and helped me to socialise and freely mingle with various communities. Today, I love being in the company of friends with varied thoughts and I know to speak in 12 languages and Hindi with fluency.”

The first batch of women officers in BSF including Ram playing Holi at the BSF training campus

Losing her husband was a great blow and Ram always kept worrying if she would be able to educate her children well. “My elder daughter is an engineer, now settled in Canada, my son did an MBA in Finance and is working in Chennai and my younger daughter is a doctor, now settled in London. I feel super proud to see them do so well,” says Ram.

Post-retirement, Ram started exploring social engagement possibilities and making new friends until she joined Silver Talkies a few months back. “I am in love with this vibrant community of young seniors. It has opened up a whole new world for me. From yoga classes to music therapy classes, getting introduced to new friends and activities and learning present-day technology, Silver Talkies has made my life colourful especially during the Covid days,” says Ram.

She believes that not panicking in a situation, being bold and being proud to be born as a woman can make her overcome all obstacles and live with dignity. From the time she asked the Director-General of BSF for a job to the service she finished with dignity and hard work, Ram’s indomitable spirit is nothing less than an inspiration.

100th birthday celebration of S Thiagarajan

After a couple of weeks, my father strolled one day into my room, where I was relaxing with a newspaper, and declared he is thoroughly bored, and he wants some exciting project for him to remain engaged. Having run out of ideas with his past projects, I promised to come up with something in a couple of days. Luckily that evening, my former colleague, Mr. Upadhyay, called to enquire about the ‘Poornaabhishekham‘ as the 100th birthday was called and regretted that he could not attend the same at Coimbatore. He specifically requested an elaborate chat with my father as he wanted to hear from him firsthand the secrets for his healthy longevity, cheerfulness, and excellent mental and physical fitness. While promising to arrange for the discussion, I realized that he has just given me an idea to keep my father engaged.

I suggested to my father that he write a book based on his personal experiences on how one can age gracefully and enjoy life. I pointed out that he is still eager and comfortable to work on his laptop; he has the experience of having written half a dozen books on his hobby and passion ‘Photography,’ though some decades earlier. I recalled many young and old becoming awed looking at his sprightly demeanor at that age. I reminded him about the incident at the nearby Post Office where he drew his pension. After seeing his age record on the computer screen, the lady at the counter rushed and did a ‘Sashtanga Namaskaram‘ then and there in the busy office to the wonderment of the staff and customers. The Postmaster informed my father of being the rare centenarian in the Karnataka Postal Circle drawing double the pension. She went on to seek practical tips and suggestions, stating she would be retiring soon from her service.

The informal release of ‘Start Life Afresh At 60’

Catching my enthusiasm and realizing the value in my proposal, my father consented to put the required effort. I provided him with a selection of reference books from my library. He set about his task right earnestly, and the result is his book ‘Start Life Afresh at 60’ published in June 2019.

Later, at a formal launch in Coimbatore, my father summed up in his short speech that at old age, adopting especially a more flexible approach, positive attitude to life, cultivating an attached detachment, and remaining engaged in some productive activity or other about which one is passionate – all these matter much and will make a significant difference to the elder’s life. He stressed the importance for one to remain mentally and physically active. He pointed out that he did not miss his morning rounds with slow walking for about an hour and stretched his limbs despite his age. His recent book project kept him mentally energized for almost a year. Now he is delighted to see the outcome and its usefulness to many in their life.

My father suddenly and unexpectedly passed away peacefully in the first week of September 2019.

The consolation was that my father lived to write and see the finished book and its success and the readers’ acclaims. Deepa Cherian, a young finance professional from Singapore said that the book gave her some profound insights into the mind of the elderly and how to be prepared for the topic that we all avoid discussing until it hits us personally – aging.

“The author shares how to deal with health challenges, which gets amplified with the passing of years and the need to keep both bodies and minds healthy. Another fascinating aspect he shares in the book is the need to change with the times, acquire new interests (like he did with his computer skills and writing a book), and be receptive to the ideas of the new generation. There are several lovely snippets in the book like the ones where Mr. Thiagarajan shares the thought process he goes through when getting ready to go out, or his reaction to seeing his granddaughter’s fiancé sporting a beard. All these are written in simple and engaging prose, which makes completing the book a breeze. It is a book that not only helps us be more empathetic to our aging parents but also prepared for old age. This book is an inspiration for the elderly to embrace old age and see it as a new beginning. I finished the book with great admiration for Mr. Thiagarajan, who not only lived a long life but lived life to the fullest.’

Prof. Dr. V.M. Iyer, the renowned Orthopedic Surgeon, Sholapur, Maharashtra, and an octogenarian, thanked the author from the bottom of his heart, wishing he had come across this book some 30 yrs ago. “I would recommend this to everyone in their fifties. Their other life would be a memorable one. There are so many things in the book worth appreciating/emulating,” he said.

Such feedback gives one satisfaction that the author’s enormous efforts at his age in writing this book proved to be worthwhile in helping senior citizens and provided a glimpse to the youngsters of an aged person’s life and requirements.

True to the quote by Socrates in Plato’s Republic included in the book which says, ‘There is nothing which for my part I like better (Cephalus) than conversing with aged men; for I regard them as travelers who have gone a journey which I too may have to go, and of whom I ought to enquire, whether the way is smooth and easy, or rugged and difficult,’ the book ‘Start Life Afresh at 60’ by the amazing centenarian Thiagarajan illuminates an exciting path for our senior citizens to take in their golden years.

In case you want to buy a copy of this book written by the late centenarian, you can order on the following two links:

https://www.amazon.in/dp/9385745336/ref=cm_sw_r_wa_apa_i_YjmDEbW161DR7

http://startlifeafreshat60.saanviemporium.com/

You may also buy copies by writing to Subramanian at  subramanian.t47@gmail.com.

Image Courtesy: Members of Thiagarajan’s Family

https://www.deccanherald.com/metrolife/metrolife-your-bond-with-bengaluru/seniors-clubs-overcome-tech-odds-896476.html?fbclid=IwAR1ihRzpGktYgUf11lhAldP2fMl74K1P9Y97iXgIP6POL1xHv3LpXSy85ko

Minnku’s father in Airforce uniform

Once, he had flown from Srinagar to Chandigarh in an unstable and faulty plane during bad weather, because he had promised to be back on time for my 4th birthday party. I was my father’s tiny angel that no one could scold. As I grew up, I have memories of him scolding my younger brother, but for my whims and fancies, dad was like butter in a hot frying pan, melting to my pouts. Once after an overseas trip, an Indian Customs officer demanded one of the two whiskey bottles he had bought along with the ‘Black Rose’ chocolates that I had specially asked for. I still remember the glee on my face and the song in my heart, when I heard how dad had dug his heels in and refused to part with the chocolates. Though he did part with his second bottle of whiskey in the bargain! Dad was my hero. I looked up to him so much and dreamt about becoming a pilot too — the thought of flying amongst the clouds and reaching distant lands is captivating.

There is more than one enduring memory I have of my father. I remember standing so proudly in front of a Cheetah he had shot on one of his hunting trips. Dangerous tales would spill over whiskey bottles and chats and I would never tire of listening to them.

He would spring up a sudden movie plan (and ensure we always got tickets despite a sold-out sign outside theatres), and I always wondered how he did that. I remember special folding seats being laid out for us in the aisles for the movie Bobby as the regular seats were sold out.

I think I have inherited this resourcefulness from him because I have often surprised my children by managing precarious and impossible results in certain situations. The trick dad had said is: “Try. Try asking. You lose nothing and worse comes to worst; you only hear a no.”

“It is admirable for a man to take his son fishing, but there is a special place in heaven for the father who takes his daughter shopping.” – John Sinor. I still have fond memories of dad patiently walking alongside me and teasing me when I innocently tried my novice attempts at bargaining.

Toddler Minkku with her mom and dad

Dad was the only person in and around his village to become a commissioned officer. He was also a generous soul, who welcomed every Tom, Dick and Harry Singh from Punjab to our home, where they would arrive to get work done through his goodwill and social connections. This left my poor mom to cook massive meals that had an impact on her energy and health. I saw many arguments between my parents because of this — my mother trying to stand up to dad’s over-generosity towards his relatives and his over-controlling and strong personality.

The arguments ensured I wanted to seek out a relationship in which I had equal say and standing so that I wouldn’t have to battle as my mother did. Unfortunately, as luck would have it, I struggled with many egoist battles in my first marriage.

Ten years after dad’s gone, I have learnt to own my imperfections. Something I couldn’t when he was alive because, at times, I tried too hard to be what I thought he wanted me to be. I worked hard to start loving myself again. I am today, the best version of me.

Sometimes my dad’s masculinity would clash with his high handedness and stubbornness and he would say: “I can’t let everything slide, let your every misdemeanour go by unnoticed and unaddressed. If I did, you might never learn right from wrong, might not become the best version of yourself.” I am grateful he did that because even today when faced with challenges, his voice rings in my ears — ‘You’re brighter than the sun baby girl, don’t let a few dark clouds define your worth’.

Talwar, 77, whose life has been deeply influenced by the memories of India-Pakistan Partition

Father stabbed to death in front of his son during the Partition riots

At the time of India’s Independence, Talwar was 4-year-old and was settled in Delhi with his parents. However, several relations from both his father’s and mother’s ends were on the other side of the border. Talwar believes his perception as a film director has been heavily influenced by the Partition and recalls the experience his paternal aunt, Bua’s family had to go through while crossing the border in 1947.

“My Bua had come earlier to Delhi from Lahore, now in Pakistan, to stay with us during the times of Independence and Partition. My cousin brothers along with my Fufaji were supposed to come a little later. When they were crossing the border to come to India from Pakistan, they were provided shelter during the night by someone whose house was nearby the India-Pakistan border. Those were unimaginable days of riots and horror. The house where my cousins and Fufaji took refuge for the night was surrounded by high compound walls. In the middle of the night, the house owner secretly informed his neighbours that they were staying at his place. A group of people broke in to slaughter my brothers and uncle. While my brothers were young enough to jump over the compound wall, Fufaji was old and he could not manage to escape the wall. He was stabbed to death right in front of his two sons who were in the early twenties then,” says Talwar.

His cousins managed to reach Talwar in Delhi and stayed there with him and his parents. “There were many relatives who crossed the border and came and lived with us in my father’s bungalow in Delhi. That’s why I have always grown up in a big joint family with lots of people around and even today I do not like living alone,” he adds.

Dividing the nation could not kill a mother’s love

Talwar feels lucky to have experienced some magic stories of India’s Independence that have etched a mark on him forever but have remained unknown. During the 1970s, he was farming for a short while in Khasa border, a few kilometers away from the Attari border in Amritsar. There, he befriended a Singh, a Sikh farmer who worked on his farm and lived with his only son. When Talwar enquired about his wife, the farmer revealed that his wife had gone to Pakistan as she is a Pakistani. Talwar was surprised and out of curiosity wanted to know more.

“The story that I heard was something that I have never heard before. While we have made several movies on Partition of India, this story that speaks of the love and commitment of a mother is a truly deserving movie plot. During the partition, several Indian Muslims were crossing the border on foot to go to Pakistan and a lot of bloodsheds took place. Singh’s wife was a young girl then and was crossing the border with her father and brothers when Singh and some others caught and killed them. Singh decided to marry the girl, had a son with her and after a few years, she went to Pakistan,” recaps Talwar.

It was during Talwar’s stay in Khasa that the wife returned all of a sudden after almost 15 years. He adds: “I was overwhelmed to see the woman back to her husband and son after such a long time. She walked across the border just as she had gone earlier. I went for a chai party to her place and wanted to know where she was and why she went off to Pakistan. She told me that she was already married and had a son when she was crossing the border in 1947 and Singh captured and married her. Her first-born is now a citizen of Pakistan and she has never denied being a mother to both his sons. She keeps on crossing borders for the sake of motherhood and tends to both her sons, one in Pakistan and the other in India.”

Talwar took part in a delegation and visited Pakistan a few years back

Partition could not cut off ties of blood and friendship

Talwar, who is a photographer, took part in a delegation called by the photographers of Pakistan and visited Lahore 2006. His grandfather who was a well-known barrister in Lahore had died a few months earlier and the rest of the family had migrated to India during the partition.

Talwar says: “I expressed my desire of visiting my grandfather’s house to one of our hosts, who was a member of the Pakistan Planning Commission. I gave him the address and he wanted to take me there himself as he said he was living on the same road and his house was right next to my grandfather’s. However, he informed me that my grandfather’s house is not there anymore and some government buildings have been raised in the same plot. After our visit, he took me to his place and offered me tea. There, he showed me around the house and also took me to the library of his father who also happened to be an eminent lawyer in Lahore and had recently passed away. It was an old library and something strange happened to me when I stepped in. Difficult to put in words but even at the risk of being overdramatic, it was almost like I was being pulled back in time.”

Talwar’s cherished moments in Lahore, Pakistan during his visit

On returning to India he spoke about it with his elder sister. He was awestruck to find from her that he had carried the wrong address of his grandfather’s house in Lahore and the house and library that he visited was his grandfathers.

“I immediately called back my host who had taken me to his house and then he disclosed that his father was a practicing lawyer in Amritsar. When he and his family crossed over to Pakistan during the partition, they were allotted this bungalow. He said that his father had heard of my grandfather and admired him and it is because of this respect and admiration that his father never changed or renovated the library. The library that I visited was actually my grandfather’s and nearly the same as he had left nearly 60 yrs ago.”

Talwar believes India’s Independence was not just freeing our country from years of Imperialism, but also a collage of untold feelings and emotions.

Rukmini Srinivas took part in the celebration of the first Independence Day on August 15, 1947

After finishing school in Pune, Srinivas went to Madras, joined the prestigious Queen Mary’s College in 1946 and was among the first generations of women to get a college education in free India.

“In college, I joined Manjubhashini’s Seva Dal and went every weekend from my hostel to practice drill and marching. She used to read to us stories of the freedom struggle, of Gandhiji’s and Nehru’s life. The following year of my joining Queen Mary’s College, India celebrated independence from British colonial rule. I was 20 years old then. Meanwhile, my professors had noticed that I had a good voice and was enthusiastic about the upcoming Independence day festivities. They selected me as one of six singers to train under Harindranath Chattopadhyay, the husband of Kamaladevi Chattopadhyay, both noted freedom fighters. Harindranath played the harmonium and taught us the famous song, “Kadam kadam badaye ja, khushi se geet gaye ja!” I still remember the rousing tune to this day and sing it to my daughters.”

On August 15, 1947, Rukka, along with other students from the hostel marched in a parade all along the Marina to Fort St. George where the British flag, the Union Jack, used to fly on the ramparts. “On this momentous day, I remember how the Indian tricolor was hoisted and the British Union Jack was lowered. There were shouts of joy and applause while the band played. I felt very proud. We came back to a special dinner at the hostel mess that day. Our principal talked to us about the importance of education for girls and women in the new India,” says Srinivas who has written about her memories of pre-Independence India in her memoir and cookbook Tiffin: Memories and Recipes of Indian Vegetarian Food. At present, she is finishing a book on her memories of this exciting time in India’s history and other stories, titled Rukka’s Reminiscences.

India’s struggle for freedom shaped the life of this octogenarian

Indira Narsimhachar, 82, was 9 when she witnessed a new India on August 15, 1947. Recollecting the pre-Independence days, she says: My sister and I were living with our grandparents as my parents were in a remote place where there was no schooling facility. The elders at home excitedly used to read the newspaper and listen to radio news every day. They used to talk about freedom fighters which we listened to with excitement. We also got scared when we heard about the communal riots.

Communal riot before Independence

“I remember the first Independence Day very well,” she tells us.“There was excitement and joy everywhere. My grandfather hoisted the national flag on top of the house. We all saluted the flag. We had decorated the whole house with buntings. My grandmother made sweets and distributed them to all in the neighborhood. My grandfather sat glued to the radio. In school, we were taught the national anthem which we kept singing joyfully. Expressing how it felt to sing the National Anthem for the first time ever in free India is beyond words.”

Freedom was indeed precious for these super silvers and so it is for all of us. We thank them for sharing with us what liberty means in its truest sense.

Image Courtesy: Pinterest

Corinne as a young girl

My first memory of Aunt Corinne dates back to more than 60 years ago when she was a new nun and I a little girl with ringlets — clutching on to both my doll and mum Tilly for comfort — as I was taken to see this rather mysterious person who also happened to be my mum’s sister. Clad in a brown and white nun’s habit, it was difficult for me to imagine her as a person, though her tender voice was comforting. But she was beyond our approach and what a petrifying approach it was, at least to little me. Since she was in a Cloistered convent, we could only look at her through an iron grill with pointed spikes attached, her veiled face just about visible, as she stood squeezed between two stark black curtains behind the grill. This grill embedded in the wall between rooms separated her from us female visitors. If memory serves me right, no males were allowed, except her father and brothers. I remember too that occasionally she would turn her head aside to a ‘shadowy figure’ sitting next to her and share an explanation of the conversation. The figure (ghost-like in my child’s mind) would reply with a ‘Mais oui’ or a ‘bon, merci’, never seen by us, only heard. I later realized this was the French Reverend Mother (The convent was founded by French missionaries) whose presence was necessary as a chaperone in every visit. Later in 1973, this very same ‘ghostlike’ Reverend Mother kindly arranged for me to be the house guest of her genteel sister Mademoiselle Rochere in Paris while I was travelling in Europe.

To us children, the lure of these visits was so enormous that we would brave all the mystery and ghostliness attached to them

Sister Mary Rita now

for the ‘loot’ we’d bring home from Aunt Corinne, collected from a capacious drawer that slid through the wall beneath the grill and opened from her side and ours. She would fill it with magical stuff like medals and scapulars, rosaries and holy pictures. We children would fight over them for days on end and would begin to barter and exchange, but there was always plenty to go round.

What made my aunt choose this life, I wondered often as a young working woman, when it began to dawn on me the tremendous sacrifice she had made in choosing a path of absolute austerity and seclusion.

Aunt Corinne was attractive and accomplished. I had seen photographs of her in the fashion of the Fifties, in Magyar sleeves and flared skirts with broad belts; with hair swept back and high heels. I’ve heard she was very lively and had a lot of suitors too before she gave it all up for God. Who is this God I wondered and how had she found him at the tender age of twenty-something?

At that age, I was battling with the attractions of growing up and the choices were always confusing and conflicting vis-a-vis the strict family moral and religious values we lived with. These were the days when I began to admire my aunt’s courage as well as disregard her for her foolishness. Was being away from temptation the easiest path to discipline, I wondered, though I know now for sure that would not have been so for her. Human wants and desires remain the same whatever be the environment and it is only through years of hard work, that self-discipline and detachment are developed. It is something my aunt has embraced for over six decades and she radiates such a joy that it makes me truly feel that I have encountered God.

So how is meeting my aunt now? The convent’s rules are now more relaxed in keeping with the times and the dreaded grill too has no spikes though my aunt continues to be confined behind it. However, now visitors related or unrelated, male and female can visit and chat freely. The magic drawer of my childhood still exists for the stream of little ‘PG clan’ progeny who tag along with their parents. Some like me, who cannot visit often, have the pleasure of being able to call her and even send an email. From Gregorian chants, my aunt has moved to playing the keyboard, giving her a chance to revive her prowess on the piano as a young girl.

A visit to see her now. You can see the magic drawer in the photograph

Having her in my life has been a lesson in the simplicity of living, of caring for people by just communicating with them. Like her, I enjoy my garden and this Easter I proudly showed off the lovely blooms on the lily bulbs she gave me years ago. Most importantly, I’m learning the power of prayer and the acceptance of God’s will as being the best way to be cheerful about suffering and the difficult times in life, just the way she had the wisdom to discover so many decades ago.

All photographs courtesy the author. The featured image shows Corinne third from left among the girls at the back

What brought him to this risky profession? Baruah says it’s his passion for fitness. Baruah, who has been and is still a fitness freak, joined fire services as it promised to keep him fit even during his silver years. He continues to be an avid swimmer, a great climber and excellent in the long jump.

Prior to joining the fire services, Baruah worked at the Workshop Department in Indian Oil Corporation. Before that, he served as a science teacher in a village school.

A family man, Baruah loves spending time with his children and grandchildren

Interestingly, Baruah never let his work pressure jeopardise his family life. He has been a doting father to his four children, taking care of their education and supporting them in every phase of life. He is extremely fond of his village and gives equal time and commitment to taking care of paddy fields and socially connecting with the villagers as much as he commits to his job.

Baruah considers his family to be his rock. “My family has supported my commitment and service to the community from the very first day. They dealt with my unpredictable schedules, physical and emotional demands and the inherent dangers of the job with lots of encouragement and a big smile. They have always remained prepared to deal with the worst and have always been caring not just about me but also about my larger fire service family,” says Baruah.

Baruah will retire in 2024 and his post-retirement plans are all ready. He loves rearing cattle and farming, hence, he plans to enjoy his post-retirement days in his village home surrounded by pet dogs, a pond full of fish and the dream of making a small tea garden. He also wants to become a member of the local community club in his village to bring up and address the social issues there.

Kitchen gardening is a passionate hobby for him. “The concept of active ageing lies in one’s mental and physical health. I love to keep myself engaged in physical activities. That’s what my job demands as well. Additionally, I love attending social events to stay mentally fit. It is very important to socialise as that makes one feel comfortable helps to have a positive outlook towards life during one’s silver years,” he says.

Since childhood, Parivartan has been an environment lover. He often spoke about the importance of the environment with his teachers and grandmother who was a nature lover as well. At the age of 10, he was saddened to hear from his teacher that the rivers would dry up in the future due to climate change, global warming and increasing pollution. When he shared his concern with his grandmom, she asked him to plant a tree. That’s how his journey began. He went to a nursery, bought nine plants and planted them along the Range Hill Road, Khadki Cantonment, Pune.

Parivartan worked as an English education officer in various companies while planting trees side by side until he completely dedicated himself to planting and taking care of the trees. He also started taking tuitions for livelihood with full support from his family.

For the last two decades, he has been planting trees across the country, making Delhi his base camp. Very recently amid the Coronavirus outbreak, he visited Haridwar to get saplings and ended up in planting 1064 trees in the surrounding villages during the lockdown. Not just in Haridwar, he has carried his plantation drive in Lucknow, Noida and Delhi as well, planting as many as 8064 trees during the Coronavirus crisis till now.

Parivartan and his band of tree warriors do not just plant trees and take care of them but also keep track of each tree they have planted. 1.25 billion trees out of two crore trees that he has planted are Neem and Peepal is why he has earned the moniker ‘Peepal Baba’. Others include guava, berries, tamarind and other trees suiting the various places.

He believes that while he cannot reduce the number of people cutting the trees, he can certainly increase the number of people planting trees. The 54-year-old hardly takes a break from planting trees and promises to continue doing that and encouraging more people to join his tribe.

Find out more here: https://t.co/6JndjP3LCv?amp=1

His passion has now become a habit. Dr Poonawala has not used his four-wheeler for years. He enjoys commuting on his bicycle, be it to his workplace which is 7 kilometers away from his home, or to fetch groceries or to his favourite places to unwind. He believes his love for pedalling has given him back enough. Talk about his lively spirit and stress-free mind; his endeavours towards raising funds for charity or his desire to ignite the passion of cycling among senior citizens and you can see how his bicycle has remained a dear friend throughout the journey. Dr Poonawala has been to Pune from Bangalore and to Coorg from Mysore on his bicycle. "Whenever there is an opportunity, I try to cycle."

How did cycling begin for him? We will have to go back to his childhood when Dr Poonawala was crazy about touring his neighbourhood on his bike. However, as he grew up, academics and career outweighed his fondness for cycling until 2010 when it was re-ignited after watching a television ad. He joined a cycling community in Whitefield, Bangalore and the rollercoaster ride began. He was 55 and started taking part in cyclothons which involved pedalling for 20 to 25 kilometres. This broke his fear of traffic and today he commutes only on his bicycle.

"When you cycle you become fit by default. It is a cardio exercise to be specific. Whatever road you take, there are always ups and downs. Ups become a challenge then and you can take them at a different speed and it becomes cardio exercise. It also reduces your frustration and makes you stress-free. It saves your time and you do not have to wait in the traffic for hours," says Dr Poonawala who has a strong family trait of cardiac issues. Cycling has helped him to improve his cardiac health to a great extent, also improving his balance sensory system and reflexes.

Dr Poonawala believes that joining a cycling community can be an excellent way of social engagement among the seniors. "The group energy is very positive and you will have like-minded people with whom you can connect well and they, later on, become your guide and mentors. I was lucky that the Bangalore Bikers Club is there. It is a Google group and for me, it has become a knowledge-sharing platform. I get to know about so many things related to cycling, say appropriate diet or the importance of remaining hydrated and more. There are many other cycling communities these days and I would always recommend seniors to join such groups," he says.

The avid cyclist is keen about helping others in mastering the art of pedalling and practising it on a regular basis. He is a part of Bangalore Bicycle School, a social services organisation that teaches adults who want to come back to cycling or are new learners of cycling. Dr Poonawala believes that age is just a number when it comes to learning or polishing your cycling skills and he takes great pride in having taught cycling to several senior citizens above 60. He has trained about 200 cycle enthusiasts and his senior-most student was a 66-year-old woman who runs her errands on a bicycle now. In fact, most of his students are women.

According to Dr Poonawala, if you are a senior citizen and do not have very serious cardiac issues, you can take up cycling at any time. There are no medical reasons why a senior citizen cannot cycle. All you need is to win the fear, be confident and have a sharp eyesight and hearing power.

Mail us at connect@silvertalkies.com if you want to be a part of the Silver Talkies' World Bicycle Day initiative, 'Peddle Your Blues Away' on June 6, 2020, Saturday at 04:30 PM and hear Dr Poonawala speak about his bicycle journey.

Here’s how Primus Reflection is making life post-retirement comfortable for seniors by providing them with a one-stop destination for all conveniences. 

The retirement years are meant to be lived by your own will and choice. Ask most senior citizens and they will tell you their dream of a one-stop-hub of convenience that would take care of their needs and comforts without having to depend on children who are often busy or staying far away from them.

Primus Reflection, built on an area of 2.5 acres on Kanakapura Main Road, Bangalore, just 500 meters from the Art of Living Ashram, seems to be the perfect destination to fulfill that dream. Be it the luxury of living in the lap of green and fresh air away from the din and bustle of the city or enjoying the comfort of getting assisted in all necessary chores done just in the wink of an eye or getting a platform to nurture one’s creative side and explore new hobbies, Primus Reflection comes with a bouquet of senior-friendly services. It is a sale model offering 1, 1.5, 2, and 2.5 BHK homes out of which the 1 BHKs and 1.5 BHKs have already been sold out to seniors who chose to make their silver years larger than life.

Vatsala Vittal, 78 years, living in Bangalore for the past 30 years chose Primus Reflection after retirement, and guess what, the picturesque environment around the senior living community in Bangalore has made her a photographer today. “My hobbies have been knitting, gardening and after coming to Primus I have got a new hobby – photography. After moving in here I have been able to devote time to things I like. Our kids are abroad and we all spend time together and get to learn new and different things from each other. Primus has taught me that age is just a number. It has also given me the privilege of making the best use of time when my son visits me from the USA. He loves to visit this place as the food is good and they have a really comfortable and well-provisioned guest studio room. When they come for a vacation, we remain relaxed we don’t need to cook or worry about the house cleaning. So, it’s really a nice holiday for them and us,” says Vittal.

How does Primus make your life comfortable? Here’s a list of services that they offer

Home Finesse – Housekeeping Service

A well-trained hospitality team takes care of all housekeeping needs of the residents, from making the bed to washing the dishes to dusting the house and more. A dedicated team is always there to keep the house sparkling clean.

Nutrition Nation – In House Restaurant

The on-campus restaurant serves tasty and healthy meals to all senior residents. It serves only vegetarian food in the restaurant and ensures there is a variety of food keeping in mind all the nutrients needed for seniors.

Medical Centre

The on-campus medical center comes with several facilities.

• 24×7 medical attention with easy access to quality care.

• Modern well equipped clinic in collaboration with a reputed national chain

• 24/7 ambulance on campus

• Doctor and physiotherapist available full time

• Nurses available 24/7

• Specialist consultation available

• Easy global access to medical records

Empyrean Concierge

The concierge team takes care of every unique demand. From paying bills to booking tickets to depositing cheques at the bank, the team works diligently to run all the errands of senior residents.

Life Enrichment Centre

This is where interest-based activities are organized on a regular basis including yoga, meditation, gardening, music, swimming lessons, photography, and much more. Art sessions and brain quizzes are also conducted for cognitive learning.

Keeping senior residents socially and mentally engaged?

Creative and enriching activities at Primus, such as games involving puzzles and quizzes and connection games, encourage seniors to explore and express their artistic side, sharpen their minds, boost memory and promote agility in a fun, casual, and social ecosystem. These activities, including daily physiotherapy sessions, increase motor skills and coordination helping the residents remain smart and nimble. Primus also organizes sessions along with Silver Talkies, a Bangalore-based social enterprise startup that has built a community of active and engaged older adults across the city. Here, several artists and speakers are brought from outside and they perform at Primus Reflection and interact with the senior residents.

A huge relief for caregivers and families

"Primus plays a vital role in relieving the caregivers and the family members of senior residents living far away. Adarsh Narahari, managing director of Primus says: “With parents living in Primus, the children do not have the constant worry about them living alone. Caring for an elder can be a physically onerous task. Also, domestic help becomes an added burden for seniors living alone and their children as they do not know when they will take leave next. However, in Primus, quality care 24/7 is always there. The Primus team is hired following a rigorous screening process ensuring the staff’s knowledge of appropriate catering to seniors. Here, the seniors get more personal attention than they receive at home while living alone."

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Narahari believes that living at Primus helps seniors age better. They live with like-minded people and never feel lonely. It’s pocket friendly in comparison to making a home .senior-friendly, involving costly repairs, domestic staff, and home management. A Primus home takes care of all – medical care, safety, meals, hygiene, and cleaning services, thereby making it financially more reasonable. Besides taking care of the daily conveniences, Primus also provides an opportunity for seniors to follow their lost passions and the family members love to see their parents enjoying their silver years amid various recreational activities.

With the future plan of expanding services in other cities, Primus is all set to come up with senior homes in North Bangalore soon. If you are planning to book your dream home post-retirement, call 1800-121-411111 and visit their website: https://www.primusreflection.com/#

Photograph Courtesy: Primus Reflection 

Note for readers: This is a promotional feature

Nidhi: Okay. Silver Talkies is an organization which very firmly believes that retirement is not about hanging up your boots. It’s not re-tiring, but it’s about re-wiring. So, we believe that for the age segment, 55 and above, it’s time for them to have fun and do things for which they have never had a chance while they were taking care of their responsibilities. What we do at Silver Talkies – we are a social and intellectual engagement platform where we have social clubs, which anybody who’s above 55 can be a member of. We keep them engaged through a lot of curated activities, events, and workshops that we organize for them. We also give them a space to make new friends and meet new like-minded people. We also run a digital magazine, which is our website www.silvertalkies.com, where they can find information which would very useful and of relevance to them, around a variety of aspects – health, nutrition, feature a lot of seniors who can put many of our youngsters to shame or inspire them to do something different.

Kay: I love it. I love it. I love, I love that viewpoint. I agree with you on many counts. I’m one of those people who love my grandparents and loves spending time with them and sometimes I feel that they’re way younger than I am. Helping out this age bracket 55 and above daily must put a big smile on your face. Am I right?

Nidhi: Oh yes. It’s very gratifying to get those blessings and even with the smallest of things that you do for them the kind of feedback you get from them, it’s humbling.

Kay: So let me ask you, in the time of COVID-19, you’re making a lot of efforts. As we’ve spoken about the things that you guys have done generally but in this time of COVID-19 tell me some of the things that you guys are doing to help out that age bracket a little bit.

Nidhi: Sure. So, we have been trying a few different things. First of all, we are running a volunteering initiative where we have a group of youngsters who have come forward to help out seniors who are home alone and cannot fend for themselves and cannot get groceries or medicines. So, these volunteers step out and buy what they need and deliver it to them. Secondly, we took this time to move our social engagement activities from being offline to an online platform. So, we have continued to engage seniors with our activities. For example, a few days ago, we did a playback theatre workshop with our members. We have something coming up for them again, which is a tea tasting or a tea party, which would be a virtual tea party, where they will be able to see each other and talk to each other while sitting in the comfort of their homes.

Also, we have been, making sure that we get them authentic and genuine information, especially in a time when all social media, is full of fake news and all kinds of forwards. So, we have been speaking to experts and relevant organizations to get information, which is pertinent and genuine for that particular age group. We did a talk on mental health for instance.

Kay: That’s one of the major things I’ve been, one of the areas that you need to focus on in a time like this, especially for them. I want to come back on the other side and I want you to tell me one of the most beautiful stories that Silver Talkies has kind of witnessed from the time that it came into inception to now. I’m sure there’s one story that sticks in your head, which kind of brings a big smile on your face. And let’s also address that issue of not social distancing, but social isolation that happens in a time like this.

Kay: So now tell me what is the one amazing story that comes to your mind about Silver Talkies?

Nidhi: Well actually, there are plenty, but there is one that brings a smile to my face. Very recently we had a program where we had a performance put up by seniors. One of the members who was participating, she was getting onto the stage after some 55 years. She had participated in a stage program when she was 10 years old and had performed on the song Mera Naam Chin Chin Chu and she ended up performing on that song all over again in her old age. She was so excited and thrilled and she set the stage on fire. So, it was really beautiful.

Kay: That’s beautiful. Wow. That must have been like a big, like a happy moment for you guys honestly.

Nidhi: Oh yes, it was. It indeed was.

Kay: Let’s just quickly move over to this whole issue of social isolation in a time of social distancing. These people go through a lot, the age bracket above 55. What can we do to kind of help out as individuals? What is your shout-out to the whole of Bangalore?

Nidhi: I would say even if you’re staying with your seniors or you’re away from your elders, please do make it a point to talk to them because I think a few minutes of conversation makes a lot of difference to them. So, staying in touch, come what may check in on them, check in on what they need, or even just have a friendly conversation, I think that really counts, especially in times like these.

Kay: Awesome. Nidhi I want to wish you guys all the very best. Keep up the amazing work and it’s so lovely speaking with you and I hope to be at one of your little gatherings once we’re over this entire hurdle.

Nidhi: Oh, our group of seniors would be delighted to see you!

Kay: That’s super. Lots of love. Thank you so much

Silver Talkies’ co-founder Nidhi Chawla spoke to RJ Kay of Radio One for the show Kay’s Spotlight recently. It was a fun chat about our Covid-19 Elders’ Support initiative and going live and online with our talks and workshops for seniors across India and the world. If you missed out on listening in, here’s a recap!

RJ Kay: Good morning and welcome to my show. It’s 94.3 Radio One. Listen, the lockdown might be extended. But of course, I keep you entertained every single weekday right here, 7:00 AM to 12 noon. Now to address this little community, fifty-five and above with me on the phone lines is a person who has significant experience in the field because she runs a start-up that addresses that very community. They’re called Silver Talkies and the founder of Silver Talkies is on the phone lines with me – Nidhi Chawla. Nidhi, how are you? Good morning.

Nidhi: Hey Kay, Good to be here. Thank you so much for having us.

Kay: It’s good to speak with you and honestly, you’ve listened to the show in the past.

Nidhi: Oh yes, I’m a big fan of yours.

Kay: How sweet! Thank you. It was so cool to connect with you because I love what Silver Talkies does. A lot of times we tend to neglect this population, above the age of 55, for a particular reason that sometimes we just don’t look into it enough. Can you explain to me why this community 55 above is so vulnerable, specifically in a time like this?

Nidhi: You’re right Kay. I think we completely forget about them esp. how they are affected because at that age their mobility is affected. While 55 is still very young, the older people are struggling hard to manage their day-to-day chores especially with getting essentials, getting their medicines, or even managing without their house help, many of them are finding it very difficult. Here I am talking about the super seniors, people who are around 70 plus 80 plus.

Kay: You are making it, can I say slightly better for them? Can I say that?

Nidhi: We are trying, yes.

Kay: And weirdly, this is not something that you’ve kind of just discovered after the lockdown. This is something you guys have been doing constantly as Silver Talkies. So let’s come back on the other side and tell everybody about the stuff that you guys do as Silver Talkies, a Bangalore-based startup that looks into the welfare of the age bracket above 55 and talk to them a little bit more.

Kay: Nidhi, I loved the whole idea when I got to know what Silver Talkies does. Tell me about the kind of things that Silver Talkies does. Let’s remove the time of COVID-19. Let’s just say generally, what do you guys do?

Nidhi: Okay. Silver Talkies is an organization which very firmly believes that retirement is not about hanging up your boots. It’s not re-tiring, but it’s about re-wiring. So, we believe that for the age segment, 55 and above, it’s time for them to have fun and do things for which they have never had a chance while they were taking care of their responsibilities. What we do at Silver Talkies – we are a social and intellectual engagement platform where we have social clubs, which anybody who’s above 55 can be a member of. We keep them engaged through a lot of curated activities, events, and workshops that we organize for them. We also give them a space to make new friends and meet new like-minded people. We also run a digital magazine, which is our website www.silvertalkies.com, where they can find information which would very useful and of relevance to them, around a variety of aspects – health, nutrition, feature a lot of seniors who can put many of our youngsters to shame or inspire them to do something different.

Kay: I love it. I love it. I love, I love that viewpoint. I agree with you on many counts. I’m one of those people who love my grandparents and loves spending time with them and sometimes I feel that they’re way younger than I am. Helping out this age bracket 55 and above daily must put a big smile on your face. Am I right?

Nidhi: Oh yes. It’s very gratifying to get those blessings and even with the smallest of things that you do for them the kind of feedback you get from them, it’s humbling.

Kay: So let me ask you, in the time of COVID-19, you’re making a lot of efforts. As we’ve spoken about the things that you guys have done generally but in this time of COVID-19 tell me some of the things that you guys are doing to help out that age bracket a little bit.

Nidhi: Sure. So, we have been trying a few different things. First of all, we are running a volunteering initiative where we have a group of youngsters who have come forward to help out seniors who are home alone and cannot fend for themselves and cannot get groceries or medicines. So, these volunteers step out and buy what they need and deliver it to them. Secondly, we took this time to move our social engagement activities from being offline to an online platform. So, we have continued to engage seniors with our activities. For example, a few days ago, we did a playback theatre workshop with our members. We have something coming up for them again, which is a tea tasting or a tea party, which would be a virtual tea party, where they will be able to see each other and talk to each other while sitting in the comfort of their homes.

Also, we have been, making sure that we get them authentic and genuine information, especially in a time when all social media, is full of fake news and all kinds of forwards. So, we have been speaking to experts and relevant organizations to get information, which is pertinent and genuine for that particular age group. We did a talk on mental health for instance.

Kay: That’s one of the major things I’ve been, one of the areas that you need to focus on in a time like this, especially for them. I want to come back on the other side and I want you to tell me one of the most beautiful stories that Silver Talkies has kind of witnessed from the time that it came into inception to now. I’m sure there’s one story that sticks in your head, which kind of brings a big smile on your face. And let’s also address that issue of not social distancing, but social isolation that happens in a time like this.

Kay: So now tell me what is the one amazing story that comes to your mind about Silver Talkies?

Nidhi: Well actually, there are plenty, but there is one that brings a smile to my face. Very recently we had a program where we had a performance put up by seniors. One of the members who was participating, she was getting onto the stage after some 55 years. She had participated in a stage program when she was 10 years old and had performed on the song Mera Naam Chin Chin Chu and she ended up performing on that song all over again in her old age. She was so excited and thrilled and she set the stage on fire. So, it was really beautiful.

Kay: That’s beautiful. Wow. That must have been like a big, like a happy moment for you guys honestly.

Nidhi: Oh yes, it was. It indeed was.

Kay: Let’s just quickly move over to this whole issue of social isolation in a time of social distancing. These people go through a lot, the age bracket above 55. What can we do to kind of help out as individuals? What is your shout-out to the whole of Bangalore?

Nidhi: I would say even if you’re staying with your seniors or you’re away from your elders, please do make it a point to talk to them because I think a few minutes of conversation makes a lot of difference to them. So, staying in touch, come what may check in on them, check in on what they need, or even just have a friendly conversation, I think that really counts, especially in times like these.

Kay: Awesome. Nidhi I want to wish you guys all the very best. Keep up the amazing work and it’s so lovely speaking with you and I hope to be at one of your little gatherings once we’re over this entire hurdle.

Nidhi: Oh, our group of seniors would be delighted to see you!

Kay: That’s super. Lots of love. Thank you so much

Do you feel senior citizens play a remarkable part as an audience of Indian cinema?

The audience has evolved quite a lot thanks to the exposure to world cinema available on satellite, television, internet and OTT platforms, etc. People began to reject the old cliched sub-standard formulae of telling stories, forcing producers and directors to create fresher and more authentic content.

What’s been the turning points in life for you?

There was a time when the press called my ex-husband and me the ‘made-for-each-other-couple’. We worked together and raised our children together – a girl and a boy – it was perfect. Then a tragedy struck and destroyed everything we had built together. My 9-year-old daughter had cancer. At the end of that one year, she died of cancer and my marriage fell apart. He asked me for divorce within 24 hours of her passing away. He had gotten into a relationship with my friend who would visit to give us moral support. It devastated me because I couldn’t deal with it in one go. I said ‘no’ to the divorce but came under intense pressure to do so. Though I had another child, a boy of seven and worried for him, I tried to end my life. I did not succeed and out of sheer helplessness went to my friend who was a psychiatrist to get some help. I began to heal and knew that I had to stand and create my life anew. I agreed to the divorce and started working on my film Rihaee. I had my son with me, I brought him up and continued to make films. I was very bold and confident on the outside but a very sad woman on the inside, until my second major turning point.

At the persuasion of a close friend, I did the Landmark Forum which is a transformational program. I heard the leader make a statement that suffering is a choice. It meant taking full responsibility for your life and finding alternate ways to deal with it. I called up my ex-husband and my ex-friend who had now married him and spoke to them. Those conversations were the most difficult ones ever in my life. My voice quivered and my hand trembled as I spoke. All I said was ‘I don’t blame you for what happened. I take full responsibility for my life. Be happy!’ When the conversations finished it was nothing less than magic. I was free. My life was lit up with new possibilities as I declared, ‘the sky is not the limit’. For the first time in many years, I laughed. I then travelled to many parts of the world, painted, read, wrote and trained myself to lead transformational programs. I have lead programs for over fifty thousand people at least. The lesson of ‘letting go of my past’ and forgiveness and moving on transformed my entire life.

What has growing older meant to you? How active have you been with work?

For me, age has never been a problem. Somebody started counting and they created young, middle-aged and old. But, like all things that go through a passage of time and become ‘old’, the body too ages. Even at 73+, I am still working. I am quite unstoppable. I am still making films like the recent ‘Firebrand’ released on Netflix; conducting workshops besides running a home and a production company. I don’t feel old in my head or heart and mingle with people of all ages. Currently, I am writing for my next feature film. Last year, I also did workshops on life conversations, screenwriting and film appreciation.

Do you think urban Indian senior citizens are evolving now?

I do think the urban Indian senior citizen has evolved. Many are doing things they have never done before in their lives – items from the bucket list so to say. I found a lot of senior citizen couples at loggerheads with each other. For some, the outcome was ignoring the other and doing what they pleased which again made them fight and made their children very unhappy. Some others created a space of ‘live and let live’ each being a friend to the other rather than a demanding spouse. The space allowed for peace and harmony in the home. In such cases, I saw that each was free to pursue something that they liked – doing a music or dance class or even travelling with an unknown group.

Raje’s autobiography – ‘Freedom – My story’ was published recently. (https://www.amazon.in/Freedom-My-Story-Arunaraje-Patil/dp/9352641388)

We salute Banerjee’s spirit of overcoming his own difficulties and lending out his hands to help those in the worst condition following the Coronavirus outbreak.

Image Courtesy: Twitter

A perfectly toned body, lots of glamour, an eye-catching style statement and signature handlebar moustache are what define Mohan, 61, a senior citizen and in-demand model, today. Be it rugged jeans or fluorescent sneakers or traditional sherwanis, Mohan fits into everything, giving steady competition to any youngster.

But back in 2004, his story was just the reverse. With a whopping 130 kg bodyweight, Mohan, then 44, had slipped into depression, become immobile, lost his motor functions and was completely bedridden for a year. For seven long years, he continued to fight obesity, panic attacks, vertigo and could hardly walk a few steps. Mohan shared his impeccable tale of transformation with us that also gifted him an interesting second inning.

Mohan was working with the Haryana government as an officer when in 2004 he gave up his job and took voluntary retirement, being unable to cope with physical and mental conditions. He slipped into a dark phase of clinical depression along with several other health issues. “You name an illness and I had it. Most of these were the outcome of my own negative thinking. After about almost a decade of suffering, I got fed up with my negativity and decided to rewire myself at 55. The first thing I did is getting back into shape and it took eight months of intense hard labour,” he says.

Light at the end of the tunnel

With immense willpower and determination, Mohan dragged himself out of home, joined swimming classes and got into a strict diet regime despite being a foodie. His driving force was being independent. “I never wanted to be dependent on anybody else during my silver years. Had I been in the same physical and mental condition I was earlier I could have never become independent. That made it possible for me to give up a lot of things I loved to become what I am today. At the end of the tunnel, I always saw the light.”

In 2016, Mohan, then 57, got his first break in modelling. He believes that modelling was in his destiny. “I did nothing to get into modelling and it just came by chance. That’s why I try to put my heart and soul into it,” he says. He has done about 2,000 ad shoots in the last four years and has worked for almost all major Indian brands including garments, jewellery, accessories and more and several international brands as well. He is often seen in TV commercials for ‘All Out’ (directed by Shoojit Sarkar), Ferns n Petals, Morri Shirts, Seven Hills Tea, and more. Mohan has even done music videos with Neha Kakkar and others and has been featured in Vogue and GQ Magazines.

Encounters of the starry kind

2019 was a turning point for his career when he got a break in the movie industry and worked with a number of superstars. He was a part of Salman Khan’s Bharat and Tapsee Pannu and Bhumi Pednekar’s Saand Ki Aankh. He also worked with Rajnikanth in Darbar and with Javed Jaffrey in a Malayalam movie, Happy Punjabi and in a Punjabi movie called Highend Yaarian. Two more movies in which he has acted are due to release in the next few months.

In 2018, Mohan walked on the ramp at Amazon India Fashion Week. “I was the first one to walk on the ramp and open the show and I became very emotional that day. I couldn’t believe that the person who could hardly walk properly just a few years back was opening a grand fashion show with the entire auditorium looking at him and applauding him,” he adds.

Inspiring older adults to pursue their dreams

Mohan adores his job and is very comfortable working with everyone, young and adult. He believes that the fashion industry is extremely welcoming for older models and the young models always try to bridge that generation gap and gel in well with seniors.

“I have got the best projects, the best respect and the best acceptance from the fashion industry. Money is not everything for me. It feels great when older adults get inspired by me and try to pursue their dreams in the second innings of their life.”

Mohan believes that growing older has added more swag, more energy and more life in him and looking at him we would agree wholeheartedly with what Salman Khan said. Apart from modelling, he loves to travel, hang out with friends and go shopping.

Image captured by Anand Raj BSN, Saroja Velan’s son

Are you aware of India’s first zero-waste juice bar- Eat Raja in the heart of Malleswaram, one of Bengaluru’s oldest places? Did you know that the driving force behind this novel juice bar that has achieved zero waste generation by completely banning the usage of plastic and paper cups, straws and pet bottles and making use of fruit peel cups to serve fresh juice to its customers, is none other than 72-year-old Saroja Velan? This septuagenarian had stepped into the shoes of an entrepreneur just two years back in 2018 and with her son’s support, has become the talk of the country today for her noble initiative towards making her business zero-waste. She has been invited by the International Institute of Waste Management to be a part of the Women’s Day special Wave Conclave in Jaipur that aims to celebrate women entrepreneurs in the country on March 31 this year. As a part of its Culture Trail Series, Silver Talkies recently visited the juice counter of Eat Raja to get to know about the inspiring journey of this 72-year-old.

Image Courtesy: Silver Talkies

Velan was clueless about running a business and was a homemaker until September 2017 when she lost her spouse. Her husband ran a juice shop for 50 years until his demise and never wanted Velan to step out of the house and join the business. “After his death, we had to shut the shop for about six months when I expressed my desire to start something new as I felt lonely at home. All I knew was cooking as that is what I have been doing all my life. My son suggested turning my cooking skills into a business. That’s how Eat Raja was conceptualised in March 2018,” says Velan who has never been absent for work for a single day in the last two years despite failing health.

Velan’s entrepreneurial journey is a story of how the young and old joining hands could do things in a fresher and greener way. Anand Raj BSN, Velan’s son who quit a 13-year-long career as a radio jockey to help his mom do well in her new venture was all in to support Velan but had one condition. “I told Mom that we won’t do the business the way my dad did. This time we won‘t use any paper or plastic cups, straws and pet bottles. Instead, we will use fruit peel cups to serve juice to our customers. While initially, she said it won’t work, she now explains to her customers why we use fruit peel cups and convince them,” says Raj.

The 72-year-old faced all odds that came her way

While grit and determination made Velan start it off all alone as a café in 2018, it was not easy. Initially, she started making some roti-sabji and juice for her customers and found it difficult to get trustworthy helping hands at the shop. Also, she had never run a business before and knew nothing about how to do a business transaction. After her husband’s death, she had also lost a number of loyal customers. In order to make it a zero-waste business, she had stopped parcelling juice and customers were initially not used to drinking juice from fruit peel cups at the counter. That cut down many of her customers. But she never gave up.

Image Courtesy: Silver Talkies

“My son explained to me how excessive use of plastic and wastage of water are ruining the environment and I made my customers realise the same. Using fruit peel cups prevents me from wasting water to wash the glasses. My customers have gradually embraced the new concept and now they visit my shop only to enjoy fresh juices in fruit peel cups,” says Velan.

Zero-waste business strategy is what made her juice bar famous

Image Courtesy: Silver Talkies

While the mother-son duo started with watermelon shells and gradually moved on to using muskmelon and sun melon shells as juice cups, they now serve juices only in several fruit cups including cucumber shells and coconut shells, going completely waste-free. “Our juice bar has no disposable waste at all, be it paper cups, plastic glasses, straws or pet bottles and we don’t use them. Thus, there’s hardly any dry waste generation. Wet waste includes fruit cups, citrus peels, pulp and seed filters. My mom uses seed filters to do some artwork like rangoli and more. We make bio-enzymes from the citrus peels and 80 per cent of the fruit waste is consumed by our cow. Thus, we make sure nothing goes to the landfill,” says Raj.

As an entrepreneur, Velan makes sure all her staff get their salary on the same day without any delay. She is a firm believer in zero-waste and is a multitasker and a true example of active ageing. Even at 72, she manages everything efficiently, be it the shop, the household chores, her finances or business planning and is very strict about the quality of juices being served at her shop. She’s shown us that age is never a bar when it comes to learning something new and trying it out — be it business or going green.

Here’s what happened on our honeymoon: I was ‘phoren return’ groom, after a 5 years stint in Los Angeles California (UCLA) and was yet to get back my taste for and tolerance of mirch masala spicy food. We were in the honeymoon suite of a star hotel in Nuwar Eliya, at quite a height in Sri Lanka (then Ceylon) that jewel of a nation down south. Under gleaming chandeliers in the dining hall, a specially prepared ‘honeymooners dinner’ was served to us.

Ceylon is known for their mirchi – a notch above what the Andhra chaps eat – and we stared at an angry-looking red gravy dish that arrived at the table. Gita immediately said, “That curry looks like dynamite. I am not going to touch it. I think you should avoid it as well.”

Now, who was the macho male in this partnership? Who was the hero and the boss? How dare anyone try to tell the new husband what to do? In my own defense, I did account for my ‘American palate’ and I took one teaspoonful of the curry in six tablespoonfuls of plain rice. I mixed it well and took a tiny nibble and all hell broke loose.

Never had a ‘hero’ gone to ‘zero’ with such rapidity. The whole world exploded. I stuck my tongue out and breathed through my mouth. Beads of perspiration appeared along my temples in that cold mountain air. I downed my glass of water, and Gita’s, and followed it up with the mug of beer that was sitting near my plate.

Gorgeous Gita Bhatia from the album

These palliatives were nowhere near enough. To Gita’s shriek of ‘I told you so’, I gulped down a few spoonfuls of just the rice, in an effort to douse the fire in my mouth. My eyes were watery. Then, I made the biggest mistake of all. I reached for Gita’s handbag extracted the box of Toblerone chocolates I had given her and proceeded to gnaw at each bar in my search for succour. Able to see clearly after five agonising minutes, I found Gita was not at our table. Two commiserating waiters were standing there informing me that madam is asking the manager for the phone number of a good divorce lawyer. “Madam says you ate all her Toblerone” one of the waiters sighed.

Shaking my head and wiping the sweat that was forming rivulets on my face, I located the manager’s office and found Gita happily sipping from a huge red Ceylonese coconut. The manager, realizing it would be a bad precedent for a honeymoon suite pair to split up in his hotel, had persuaded her to ‘cool it’. “Keep your foolish husband and work on reforming him,” he had said.

Thank you, Gita, for keeping me and reforming me! Thirteen years since you succumbed to a cardiac arrest. I love you.

This octogenarian plastic surgeon has been conducting free surgeries for poor patients since 2006

Meet the 82-year-old plastic surgeon from Malsi, Dehradun who has been awarded the Padma Shri this year for treating poor people with burnt and disfigured faces for free for the last 25 years. Dr Yogi Aeron has been conducting a 2-week camp twice a year since 2006 to reach out to patients below the poverty line with disfigured lips, cheeks, nose and other parts of the face and treat them for free. Dr Aeron, along with the help of 15 other US-based doctors, has been conducting 500 such surgeries every year. Nearly 10,000 patients are enlisted in his waiting list. He seeks help from NGOs and his friends from India and the US to fund the cost of these plastic surgeries.

53-year-old manual scavenger turned social worker now voices for cleanliness, against manual scavenging

Usha Chaumar, 53, from Alwar has won the Padma Shri award this year and her story is no less than a fairytale. Once a manual scavenger, she now works as the president of the Sulabh International Social Service Organisation after a heroic journey full of adversities. Chaumar is known for her outstanding contribution to raising awareness about cleanliness and against manual scavenging. “I never thought that I would ever be able to leave the work of manual scavenging, but Dr Bindeshwar Pathak, founder of Sulabh International made that happen for me. I left manual scavenging in 2003. No one should do the work of manual scavenging, because it leads to untouchability and those who do this job are looked down by society,” Chaumar has been quoted saying. She has made her family as well as entire Alwar proud by receiving the fourth highest civilian awards in the country.

This 68-year-old fruitseller from Karnataka runs a school to educate poor children

A chance encounter and difficulty in communication with some foreign tourists led to 68-year-old fruitseller Harekala Hajabba’s initiative to educate poor children in his village in 2000. According to newspaper reports, the Mangalore based orange seller uses the proceeds of his earnings for the maintenance and upkeep of a school to educate the children because he himself had never received an education. He convinced locals and well-wishers to help him to set up a school at the local mosque. Gradually with the help of the District Administration, the Dakshina Kannada Zilla Panchayat Higher Primary School was set up, as well as an organisation to streamline the effort and funding of the school.

Hajappa is dedicated to his school. “Even after the new school was built, he continued to wake up early in the morning, sweep the campus, boil drinking water and saw to it that both the faculty and the students didn’t have anything to complain about. He treated the campus as though it were his own home,” his nephew told reporters. Despite his achievement and popularity, Hajappa remains humble and determined as ever.

This septuagenarian from Karnataka has planted more than one lakh trees all alone

Tulasi Gowda, 72, from the Halakki tribe in Honalli village has committed her life towards raising awareness about forest conversation and has single-handedly planted more than one lakh trees in the state. Although she has not received any formal education, Gowda is known as the ‘Encyclopedia of forest’ due to her vast knowledge of herbs and plants and has been awarded the Padma Shri this year. Gowda is also actively involved in afforestation programs conducted by the forest department and nurtures the saplings until they grow strong enough to stand on their own.

84-year-old Langar Baba from Punjab has served free food to the needy for 15 years

Jagdish Lal Ahuja, 84, also known as Langar Baba has been serving free food and providing financial assistance, blankets and clothes to hundreds of poor patients and attendants outside the Postgraduate Institute of Medical Education and Research (PGIMER), Chandigarh. Since 2000, he has been serving food to more than 2000 people daily. He sold off properties worth crores to support his mission and continues to serve to date despite suffering from stomach cancer.

We salute the undaunted spirit of these inspiring senior citizens.

A doting grandmom to a toddler, an awesome cook and an epitome of charisma and humbleness, Nag shared with Silver Talkies how theatre has been her all-time anchor and the key to healthy, active and fulfilling ageing.

What does theatre mean for you? What has it been to you during your silver years?

Theatre is my lifeline. I would suggest everyone to find out what is that main artery that keeps you ticking in your life. Whether it is watching a sunset or cleaning your toilet or planting a tree or watching a play. There has to be the one something in your life that makes you tick. Theatre has been my survival kit.

It is the only thing I wanted to do and want to do now. It started when I was 16 and is still going strong. I have given it all of myself very truthfully and it has given back to me 100 times more. I really believe if one is able to unconditionally shower attention to one thing in life, other than what one does to earn money and live, that thing will define one in his or her sunset years. Once everything is done like raising children, losing spouses or getting a new one, there should be one thing that needs to be your anchor. Your children or your partner or any other human being shouldn’t be your only anchor. It has to be an activity, an idea and a thought and for me, theatre is that anchor.

Can you recall your first on-stage performance?

My first onstage performance happened in a government colony in Delhi. My father was working for the government and I remember doing a Rajasthani dance where I was playing a boy. My first exposure to drama was seeing Ramleela in the backyard of my father’s government housing colony where a Sardarji was playing Sita. These are the lasting impressions in one’s life and that’s why parents must make it a point for their children to watch real-life art like theatre, jatra, folk theatre, dance, folk dance, not just the classical form.

We are making a huge mistake by just going the Disney way when we have our own Pattachitra or Phad painting which will just disappear if we do not collect them. If we do not watch theatre, it will fade away. If people don’t buy a Phad painting or a Pichwai, they will become extinct. Each of these arts are infused with meaning and our next generation must be able to understand the meaning.

How did Rangashankara begin? What have you learnt from its 15-year-long journey?

I have worked in Marathi and Gujrati commercial theatres, IPTA, Hindi theatres and doing Kannada theatre in Karnataka for 40 years. Rangashankara is the crystallisation of a life well led and it is a logical end to a very good life lived in theatre. It has taught me how does one bring the essence of everything that one has learned and tries to put it in a space and make it available for generations to come. I do not see myself as the owner but am just serving the space.

Rangashankara happened because there was a need. At that time there was no small theatre in Bangalore apart from Ravindra Kalakshetra and one Chowdiah Memorial Hall which were 1000 seat auditoriums and not dedicated only to theatre. Also, I had come fresh from the experience of having watched Jennifer Kapoor build Prithvi Theatre, so the conviction was there. It was not all encouragement and a lot of discouragement as well. Moreover, it was the time of recession in the world and nobody was giving money. But I kept singing the same song again and again and the last year we completed 15 years. And celebrating Rangashankara’s 15 years we will bring you one good piece of theatre every month in whichever language that the audiences and theatre lovers can enjoy.

Do you love living all by yourself? How do you spend your day?

I was telling my daughter the other day I will never be alone anywhere in the world. I will find a theatre group and tell them allow me to clean your costumes or dust your shoes. I don’t have to act. You can be the most important person by just ushering, helping backstage, by offering chai to the actor, by allowing a quiet moment to the actor. Everything goes into the performance.

I love to cook, I love to listen to music, I love my garden, flowers, the bees and the birds, I live on a small farm that keeps me busy. I have 75 coconut trees, mango, jack fruit and papaya trees, dogs, and a granddaughter. They live in Singapore and visit me every two months. That gives me space to be on my own and not make anyone a crutch as that I feel is most important for your silver years.

Acting was something Rao wanted to get into right from childhood. “At the age of 16 when I approached my mom and told her I want to do acting, I got the standard response that girls from respectable households do not do things like acting and those days we did not get to revolt against our parents the way it happens now,” says Rao. However, she did not give up and today, when she stands in front of the camera, her magnetic personality, confidence and young-at-heart attitude inspire everyone.

Facing the camera was not a cake-walk for this braveheart

It may seem like a fairytale but the back story that made Rao what she is today is indeed inspiring. In 2008, Rao, then 44, got detected with a condition called sciatica due to cysts in her lower spine that made her severely obese. She was unable to do daily activities due to excruciating pain and could not walk straight and had to slouch. “The pain stopped me from reducing weight and I started wearing baggy clothes to hide up how I look. I used to feel very ugly and this added to my list of insecurities. I felt miserable but could not afford to become bedridden as I had a business, two children and my mother-in-law to take care of,” says Rao who continued struggling for six long years. Despite her painful condition, Rao joined the ballroom dance workshop organised by Silver Talkies and danced her way through and made new silver friends.

The turning point in her life came in 2014 when she visited England for her daughter’s graduation. “There I saw women of different shapes and sizes wearing all kinds of clothes and looking and feeling nice in them. I felt why should I not feel good about myself when women who are actually larger in size than me are feeling good about themselves. After I came back to India, I changed my wardrobe. I stopped colouring my hair black, I used to stoop a lot, that’s why I made an effort to stop slouching and stood in front of the mirror giving myself positive affirmations. I had completely lost any kind of self-worth in myself. I would face my mirror, look into my own eyes and say ‘I love you’ and make myself realise that I am worthy enough to be loved and to live,” says Rao.

Believe in yourself and not what people say is Rao’s secret to active ageing

Rao believes that expecting support from people around them is not wise. When she began the battle of loving herself once more and working on feeling good about herself, not everyone around her was happy. “I believed in something called mind over matter and sought the help of the inner powers and healed myself so that I could move on. I slowly got back on my feet and I was mentally very strong. I was given a whole list of don’ts but today there’s hardly anything that I don’t do. However, I could do nothing about losing weight. When I stopped coloring my hair or started making efforts to walk straight and wearing my size dresses, derogatory comments flooded in. Most people were like you are past 50 and how does it matter now how you look.” Rao didn’t let them cow her down. “I said this is my life and I will have to love myself which I haven’t for many years.”

In 2015 just after her 51st birthday she got a call and was offered an ad. For her, it was a dream coming true and with support from her two children, she plunged into the world of advertisement. She continued doing ads in Bangalore for the next four years, went through ups and downs in business and finally decided to draw the finishing line to her role as an entrepreneur in 2018. Rao believes that the silver years of an individual need not get restricted to only helping kids raise their kids but can actually become a second chance to explore one’s unfulfilled dream. And that is exactly what she did. At 55, she moved to Mumbai to start a brand-new career as an actor and success just followed. Today she visits places as a motivational speaker and inspires young students to live and love life to the fullest.

“It is very easy to give a talk but practicing something that you believe in and then inspiring others to do the same is what I learned when I started loving myself the way I am. I don’t behave my age and I am not sorry for that at all,” she giggles.

TP Gopinath and P Manorama after their marriage on December 23, 1963

Originally hailing from Kerala, the couple settled in Bangalore after marriage. As both of them came from two different backgrounds, they naturally had a difference in opinions on certain things.

?However, that never was a big issue as both of us tried our best to respect each other?s opinions and embrace them. During vacations, we used to visit our hometown and spend time with both of our families. Not everything was as we wanted it to be. It is important to realise that nobody is 100 per cent perfect. When you see something negative in others, you must understand that you too may be having a negative side. Also, never compare your life with others. Life is full of both plus and minus and you must accept it that way,? explains Manorama.

The couple celebrating their 56th anniversary in Goa on December 23, 2019

During the initial years of their marriage, the couple loved going to movie theatres that had an escalator because it was a novel concept then, as well as going out for shopping. Living in a joint family taught them the recipe of having a sound understanding between each other and today they are proud grandparents of three, enjoying their life heartily and together.

Together Through Tough Times

The love story of Krishna Raj, 84 and Priyadarshini Raj, 75, going strong for the last 53 years, is no less than a movie script. Their relationship began in filmy style in August 1966 when Priyadarshini had just finished her post-graduation from the Delhi School of Economics and Krishna was still studying in Germany. Krishna had come home in Bangalore to see his ailing father and was keen on getting married as he had two more years to complete his engineering when a common friend and cousin introduced the couple to each other for the first time. After a brief visit to her home, Krishna turned up the same afternoon to talk to Priyadarshini.

Krishna & Priyadarshini Raj got married within 3 weeks of meeting each other on September 11, 1966

?After exchanging our views and expectations, he wanted my response to his marriage proposal the very next day. He was in a hurry as he had to return to Germany before his semester started. What impressed me the most was that he took his own decision of getting married to me and he never promised me a life like a bed of roses. He said he could not come back to India in the next four years and hence, we got married in just three weeks? time,? says Priyadarshini.

Their wedding took place on September 11, 1966, and they have been together in love ever since. However, the journey was certainly not a cakewalk. Adjusting to a new culture and a new relationship along with learning a new language without formal classes were very challenging for Priyadarshini. ?But at the age of 22 everything is fun and exciting, so we plunged into this with joy. Our love grew from a sapling to a strong tree. Our income was very limited at the beginning as he was a student. Despite all the odds, we went on holiday and enjoyed ourselves. Our first holiday was in Spain as I was sun hungry. Those days it felt like Alice in Wonderland,? says Priyadarshini, walking down the memory lane.

Their bond is going strong for 53 long years

The couple lost one of their daughters when she was just three and lost their only son when he was 25. As they were raising an ailing son, life was never smooth for them but they had each other?s back. Priyadarshini says: ?Our fights never lasted very long. At the end of the day, there were red roses. We faced all issues by sharing our thoughts and seeking a solution to every problem. We had no family support and held hands and waded through the water. Now we have only our daughter who is the apple of our eye.?

The couple feels that there is no recipe for a successful marriage. Understanding each other, accepting each other?s imperfections and not leaving each other?s side even during the rough times are what make a marriage work. ?Marriages are made in heaven and its ingredients are both tears and smiles. Hence, always enjoy your relationship and make it grow stronger,? say the couple who is settled in Germany for the last 45 years.

Age can test many things, including the strongest of marriages but these silver couples show us how with acceptance, empathy, understanding and love in our hearts, it?s possible to walk the long road together ? hand firmly in hand.

Have you ever taken a selfie with a reindeer? Well, I?ve been lucky enough to, when I played Santa at a store at MG Road. The young assistant playing the reindeer insisted on posing with me, and I was Ho-Ho-happy to oblige!

Then there were the kids. Some of them smiling, but some distinctly uncomfortable ? Santa being a new concept, and they not being sure of this old man with a beard and loud laughter. One kid was given two lollipops by me, and he shyly returned one, saying one was enough. Another, however, requested a second lollipop for his little sister, who was at home with grandma.

I got a ringside seat for the carol singing! These enthusiastic Yule revellers were walking along MG Road, spotted the white beard and red suit, and surrounded the man with the big paunch! Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle all the way ? (oh what fun it is to be Santa Claus today!)

I was delighted to pose with Lord Ganesha and Lord Krishna! This happens only in India!

So ? have you been good this year? Will Santa bring you a gift? Ho-ho-hope so!!

Wasn?t that fun to see our young-at-heart silver, Arun Bhatia posing as Santa during Christmas? We wish you all a Merry Christmas and hope you bask in the festive spirit and start afresh in the new year. Also, do let us know how you are celebrating Christmas this year. We will be happy to share your enticing experience and frame the joyous moment.

  Sudha Mahalingam, 68, is the author of the book, The Travel Gods Must Be Crazy and the author of the blog www.footlooseindian.com. She also redefines the word crazy with her adventurous, free-spirited travel across the world. She has gone skydiving, been locked up at the top of a minaret in Yazd, sailed the Mekong without an itinerary, and recently risked life and limb to trek up the Tsingy Stone Forest in Madagascar. Here are her thoughts on traveling the globe, footloose and free.   

My first solo trip was Kailash Mansarovar in 1996 when my son was four and a half years old. The Ministry of External Affairs had just opened the route up and I felt that I wanted to go. It was a 32-day trekking trip with complete strangers.

I like being on my own when I travel. I have done plenty of travel with family too but then you become responsible for them. You are constantly catering to their needs. Even when I travel with friends, sometimes there are differences. When I travel alone the risks are mine and the rewards are mine too. For instance, during a trip down the Mekong river, my friends were unprepared for kind of boat we eventually found.

I like traveling without an extremely planned itinerary.

Initially, my family would be worried but after 2-3 trips they understood that I could manage. They also realized I can handle unplanned situations and that I’m a much better-adjusted person after when I’m able to do what I want to do.

Money To Travel

  I started travel writing and photography to finance my travel in the initial days because otherwise, it can make a dent in the family finances. Once I started specializing and working in the oil and gas industry my travel cost was largely taken care of as I traveled a lot on conferences. Of course, the supplemental cost of my personal travel was taken care of by me. If you wish to raise money to travel here are a few things to remember: Extreme focus and being good in your mainline profession is a must. I worked all the time and being committed for 15 years is very hard but I did it. So while I traveled a lot I also worked towards it, along with balancing my family and other responsibilities. I also prefer to stay in simple places and don’t need five-star luxury. Though if the situation demands it, I will not take unnecessary risks and will spend the required money.  

How to Travel Unplanned

Unplanned travel is largely done by teenagers and young people in their early 20s. I meet a lot of them as I choose to stay in hostels. Most youngsters have an unplanned itinerary. I tap into people resources and get live information on what is good to see around. The structure I have to my free-spirited travel is a return ticket. I’m ready to rough it out as well. I have stayed in a caravanserai in Yazd, Central Iran in a windowless dorm for instance.

What Has Travelling The World Taught Me

I visited my 66th country, Madagascar recently and the more I travel, the more I realize that people are essentially the same everywhere. They want a good future, a clean environment. Everywhere I go, I’m struck by the sameness of what people want. I also have an inherent trust in the goodness of human beings. I don’t think everyone is out to harm you. At best they will try to hustle with you. So in that sense, my risk perception is different. It’s what made me jump into a rickety cab in the middle of a blizzard on an evening outside Bishek airport to visit Lake Issyk-Kul in Kyrgyzstan.

I trust people. I have realized that most people have ordinary needs and are just trying to make some extra money. You just need to be alert and ready.

Advantages of Being An Older Traveller

I think above a certain age you become invisible and don’t have strangers hitting on you. Even hustlers don’t bother you. I’m 68 now and one of the biggest advantages of being older is the experience of years. I can anticipate things that can happen. For instance, even if I’m doing something impromptu, I’ll never leave my passport behind; I will always have money stashed away in different places and as an older traveler, I’m a lot more aware of what can go wrong. I’m also blessed with good instinct and it has been wonderful for me.

For all my spontaneity and self-travel, I will always ask for help where required and not take unnecessary risks. E.g., at the Tsingy stone forest in Madagascar, during a 4-hour climb through needle-edged jagged limestone rocks, I asked the guide and porter for help as I couldn’t have done it otherwise.

Fear Factor

The only time I have known fear is when I went diving in the Great Barrier Reef with a group. Except for me, the rest were seasoned divers so the guide dropped me at one dive point while they went ahead to explore. I came up after the stipulated 45 minutes and there was no sign of the boat as I kept bobbing up and down. At that time I did think this is the end as it was a long wait but I did not give up. Other than this instance, I have only known mild apprehension, never fear. I think of the thrill before I think of the consequences, that’s how my personality is. It doesn’t matter if I die. At least I’ll die doing something.

Being A Vegetarian Traveller Across The World

Food cannot stop you from traveling. You do get something to eat almost everywhere. In Madagascar, I ate plain rice most of the time. I never carry any food. Fruits are available everywhere you go. I did find eating in countries like Myanmar, Bangladesh, and Indonesia difficult as the smell of meat and fish was overpowering for me. But you always find raw veggies you can eat, bread and fruits everywhere. Food has never come between me and travel. It’s just something to give me energy and if you can make some sacrifices about not having the perfect meal, you will never perish for want of food.

Balancing My Travel

My mom used to say, you can’t bathe in the sea if you wait for the waves to subside. Like that, life too has waves and if I wait for them to subside, I’ll never do anything. So I balance things. I am the caregiver to an aunt in Chennai and I meet her and ensure care for her but I go ahead with my travel plans. I organize things at home for my husband and adult children. You have only one life and it will just speed past you fast. You don’t want to regret later.

Sudha Mahalingam spoke to Reshmi Chakraborty. All photos are courtesy Sudha Mahalingam.

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The author having fun in the snow

 We were invited for dinner that night. As the evening approached, Maddu told me very gently that the maximum temperature that day was minus 5 degrees. I nearly jumped. So the minimum must have been hovering between minus 7 and minus 10.

I was given a thick flannel inner vest which served as my blouse. A pleat here, a pleat there and the sari was in place. I put on a cardigan to match. Mind you all this was done within touching distance of the bukhari. Maddu sat on the bed and said that he was timing me. With a big grin on his face, he told me that he had never seen me get dressed so fast.

 Like a good husband, he got me my coat and in true “Clark Gable” style, he held it out for me to wear. I did and began to feel quite warm. That was also when I also looked at myself in the mirror.

And I burst out laughing! 

I looked like a blooming teddy bear, with all my padding in and out. The worst was that the coat refused to button up. So I put on a the la-di-dah air and pretended that it was supposed to be like that!

My feet were freezing and with the two pairs of woollen socks I was wearing, I could not fit into the sneakers I had been wearing all day.

With no other options left, I put on the snow boots I had and said goodbye to the last vestiges of sartorial elegance. 

“Thy chariot awaiteth, my lady!”

Id celebrations

Within ten days of my arrival, it was time to celebrate Id. Parrey, the mali, brought me a small packet of meat and said that it was prasad and I should accept it. The dhobi Akbar, brought us a full meal, almost a wazwan and the old man, Kuttay, who ran a shop in the premises, sent us a huge cake. The meal turned out to be scrumptious and we called others to share it with us.

Now, what does one do with a huge, rich creamy cake, especially if there are no kids around?

I did the next best thing. I invited all the officers’ children. There were hardly about 15 of them and they were all very excited that AOC Aunty (the Commanding Officer’s Wife or COW for you!) had invited them for a party. The cake was cut and the cook made lovely hot samosas. The children and I played in the lawns and the one who had the maximum fun was Tootsie, our pet. She ran with the kids and chased the ball with them!

Manav, a cute little five year old, went home and told his parents that AOC Aunty was celebrating her dog’s birthday!

Welfare Meetings 

At the very first welfare meeting, I asked all the airmen wives and officer’s wives present on the station to please attend so that we could all meet and interact. A circular went out from the Admin Office that the ‘First Lady” wanted to meet everyone!

The women who came there were a lot like any average housewife and homemaker. Many were excited to be in the hills as this was probably their first (or last!) chance to see the place. Like mothers everywhere they worried about their kids and schooling, they worried about shoes, uniforms, books, etc. So the question hour carried on:

Madam ji, the children need school shoes.

Madamji, uniforms ka kya hoga?

Madamji, we want to go with our husbands when they are allowed out for that one hour every day. They bring back vegetables which are bad or not required, we would like to pick and choose.

Thus it would go on. At every monthly meeting of the AFWWA ( Air Force Wives’ Welfare Association), the similar questions would come up. Finally, one day I had to tell them the harsh truth.

“AOC has repeatedly told you all that for the very tricky security situation, you are not being allowed. Are you ready to accept the odd sniper’s bullet? 

“Soch lo, agar goli lagee toh zimmedari kiski hogi? Apke bacchon ko kaun dekhega?”

(Think about it—if you are hit by a bullet, who will be responsible? Who will look after your kids?)

If you are willing to be responsible for your own death, then I shall ask AOC to let you go. Think about it and let me know.”

Then we started engaging the families in various cultural events and celebrations of all the festivals— right from Holi, Deepawali, Durga Puja, Christmas, Ganesh Puja, Onam, Id, et al. We went for all the celebrations and it kept everyone relaxed and comfortable. Onam and Christmas celebrations were especially unique as all Malayalee families celebrated both, irrespective of whether they were Christians or Hindus.

The author with her husband and children during her stay

Going out 

It felt a little strange, to say the least —- getting into the official car with a gun-toting guard from the Quick Reaction Team (QRT) sitting in the front seat. His gun was pointed out of the window. Then there was a QRT jeep following us with three or four more similar soldiers, carrying their weapons. It was daunting and humbling and a reminder that we carried our lives on a short string. Many a service officer had died in spite of such precautions. Of course, slowly, we learnt that the terrorists targeted the BSF, the police and the army. The Air Force had not been the target till then.

It was a weird feeling going into the market—- deep in the pit of my stomach, there was this fear and unease. What have we done here?

Where are all the pretty carefree young Kashmiri women who used to frequent the streets and the wayside cafeterias? And the soldiers—everywhere you turn you see the olives, bristling with weaponry. They are patrolling the streets at all hours.

Fear stalks everyday life in the valley. There was no eating out, no walks down the boulevard, no strolling down Residency Road to window shop.

Entertainment while the war is on

Even while the Kargil war was on, we kept the schools functioning. So the Air Force school and the Kendriya Vidyalaya were running full steam ahead. None of the families had gone home and none wanted to go home.

So we decided to stage a little play. It was to be a double-pronged weapon—- occupy the kids and their mothers in a creative outing so that there was no fretting for the fathers who were away in the border areas. I sat with a few of the ladies and rewrote our version of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. Every evening around five o’clock, the kids and their mothers would walk into the Officers’ Mess. They would sit on the floor while the actors would run through their paces.

Poonam, a tall 13-year-old, was the wicked stepmother while Snow-white was pretty little Tanusri. All the little boys were the dwarves. The forest was made up of 10 odd kids who held on to branches and came to the stage.

Our brilliant engineering officer, Chiru Saha and his team made the sets in a couple of hours, just before D-day!

The 30-minute play was performed in the Officer’s Mess to a packed hall. The kids performed flawlessly. After the success of this one, the kids wanted some more, so we had a mini fashion show, only with kids. 

— The above are excerpts from my book, The COW in Kargyll. 

All photographs courtesy author, except cover photo.

Cover photo courtesy: Kargil War Memorial, Shyam Akirala, Wikimedia Commons

Several women like Parbati Chatterjee participated in the freedom movement. Shown here is a procession in Bangalore during the Quit India movement with many women marching. Courtesy: Wikimedia Commons

Born in a conservative family in Kolkata in 1924, Chatterjee was not allowed to study after Class 3. “Women those days were not allowed to do almost anything. I got married off at the age of 13 when I was just a little girl. Such marriages were known as Gauri Daan where young girls were married off even before they could get over their adolescence. After marriage, I was not allowed to wear shoes as I was a woman and forced to walk barefoot until my husband would hide and carry a pair of shoes for me. I used to wear shoes once I was out of the sight of the people who knew me,” explains Chatterjee.

However, nothing stopped her from learning English which she felt could become a weapon for the Indians to get rid of their colonial masters then. “I realised that we could attain freedom only and if only we could be at par with the British and knowing their language could certainly gift us equal status. I used to borrow books from my nephews, hide it under my saree and learn English in the afternoons behind locked doors after finishing all household chores. I could not let the elders in the family know about this as in those days women who read books and novels were considered to be of a maligned character,” says Chatterjee.

Eventually, she witnessed India’s Independence in 1947 and her joy knew no bounds. “India’s independence taught me a valuable lesson. Be it the freedom of an individual or a country, it can be achieved through lots of struggle and sacrifice,” she says. Post-independence, she was in touch with the prominent leaders who assumed power in the free nation. Chatterjee is a great cook and loves feeding people. She has had chances to invite and cook for the erstwhile governor of Bengal and Orissa, Kailashnath Katju and many other political leaders of independent India.

“Today I am a proud grandmother and a great grandmother and I feel elated to see my grandsons and grand-daughters doing great in their lives. I have always taught my children to raise their children, especially their daughters in a way so that they can be self-reliant and independent. At times, I have gone against their decision of marrying off my grand-daughters early and suggested them to focus on their career instead of marriage. Born as a not-so-free woman of colonised India, I have realised that the best way a country can achieve freedom in true sense is by gifting wings of freedom to our daughters,” says Chatterjee.

Every August, Silver Talkies records memories and instances of humanity, fortitude and courage during the Independence Years — stories of life in a newly independent India; crossing over during Partition and stories of finding freedom.

Veera Sehgal (the smiling child on the left) with her brothers, parents, elder sister and her sister’s children.

But then, as August neared and Sialkot burned, my father was increasingly scared. The family had been very friendly with their Muslim neighbours. They never really thought the situation would get so ugly that they would have to leave. In fact, I have heard that when my father was getting ready to leave, there were Muslim neighbours who helped them pack. The same people were looking to kill him soon after. It’s hard to understand this.

It was then that Khansaab, a friend of my father’s offered to shelter the family in rooms at the back of his own house. This was done at great cost to his own family’s personal safety as even his family wouldn’t be spared if the people baying for my father’s blood came to know he was being hidden by Khansaab. In fact, he even sent his two sons, wearing burqas to disguise themselves, to go and sleep in our abandoned house to give the impression that the women were still there. I’m not quite sure why he did that as his sons would’ve been in great risk too had the rioters attacked our house.

So while the family hid inside Khansaab’s house in complete fear, there were rioters outside, planning to burn down houses and plotting murder. Khansaab even joined them in planning revenge on the postmaster, who was hiding inside his home all this time! He pretended to hate us while shielding us from death.

Finally, amidst all the chaos outside, I was born on August 29, 1947, with the help of Khansaab’s wife. A blanket borrowed from her wrapped me and I have heard that the daughter of the house would sing and rock me to sleep.

Burqas were brought by Khansaab for my mother, in case she had to step out. And all this while no one knew that not only was a family hiding in Khansaab’s house, even a baby had been born there. Such was the cooperation and humanity of the family that sheltered us.

After almost two months (if I remember correctly), Khansaab managed to help our family reach a refugee camp, from where my father managed to reach Amritsar with all of us and then Bikaner, where I grew up.

My older brothers went through their own trauma while all this transpired, unaware about the struggle and anxiety their parents were going through or that they even had a sister! They were at our Taiji’s house in Delhi and wondering if their parents had survived the riots. In fact, they had just taken their summer clothing with them for the vacation. They were just students then, teenagers, guests in someone’s house and unsure of what lay ahead.

They would go to the GPO in Delhi, rummage through piles of postcards and letters to check if there was any letter or postcard addressed to them. They had heard about the trains coming from Pakistan loaded with bodies and did not have the heart to visit the station and check for themselves. You can imagine what kind of mental trauma these two young boys would have gone through. Just when they were about to give up came the news that their parents had crossed over safely, with a baby.

My eldest sister, who was already in Delhi, went to meet my parents in Amritsar and joked that ‘Biji,’ what they called my mother, had picked up some orphan from the road. Everyone was unaware of the pregnancy and I guess with so many grown-up children, my mother would have been embarrassed to reveal it. Her last child had been born 12 years earlier!

My father named me Veeranwali, which means the one who has brothers. The family lovingly called me Koki (named after a place called Kaathkoko, where my eldest brother worked for a short duration) and I was the favourite of all.

As for Khansaab, I believe my father and he exchanged letters for some years. When he helped us cross over, he looked at me and said, “Aapko yeh farishta bacha ke le ja raha hai.”

Did the circumstance of my birth and the stories I heard ever have an impact on me? Yes, of course. There are good people and bad people on both sides of the border. What I heard about my birth made me grow up believing in ‘insaniyaat.’

— Veera Sehgal will be 72 on August 29. She has had a long, illustrious career as a biology teacher for almost 48 years at Welham Girls School and Summer Valley, Dehradun. She was interviewed by Reshmi Chakraborty

The featured image shows Veera or Koki with Shekhar the dog. All photographs are courtesy Veera Sehgal and her family.

Every August, Silver Talkies shares work done on the theme; records memories and instances of humanity, fortitude and courage during the Independence Years — stories of life in a newly independent India; crossing over during Partition and stories of finding freedom.

HS Doreswamy’s honours and accolades

Filled with humour, the 101-year-old recalls, “I have had a happy time in the jail with other inmates. I was a bachelor then.” When Doreswamy was arrested on December 1942, he was working as a teacher in the Gandhinagar High School, Bangalore.

“I was arrested for supplying time bombs to my fellow-freedom-fighters in other districts of Karnataka. Those bombs were not meant to kill people but to burn government documents in front of the police stations as a sign of protest. One of my friends got arrested and beaten up mercilessly and my name got revealed. They searched my house but could not find anything. I was taken to the Halasuru Police Station which had a different name then. Later they took me to the Central Jail and kept me in detention for 14 months.”

During his stay for an entire year in the prison, Doreswamy went through and witnessed a lot. “We were given rotten food in jail for which we protested, got caterers removed and a new cook appointed. Five college students from Shimoga district were hanged in the same prison where I was kept. All that happened when two police officials charged on a peaceful procession of college students, behaved arrogantly with them and got killed by the agitated mob. The hangings went on for three days as according to prison rule only two people could be hanged on a day. Our barracks were kept locked so that we could not protest against the hangings,” says Doreswami.

“I had been a witness to the arrest of 12 Indian officers from the British Army who wanted to join Netaji Subhash Chandra Bose’s Indian National Army (INA). On the way, they were arrested and brought to our prison at midnight. The entire prison shook with the cry of ‘Vande mataram’. The next morning they were taken to Jalahalli police quarters, made to stand in a row and were shot dead. In the month of January, 1943, we wanted to celebrate Independence Day and hoist flag inside the jail. While hoisting the flag, we were beaten black and blue but did not leave the rope that unfurled our national flag, high up in the sky. We were not served food for days because of our non-cooperation but nothing could stop our desire to attain freedom,” he adds.

After being released from jail, Doreswamy did not want to sit in silence. He chose the power of pen over the power of violence and started publishing Pouryavani, a newspaper that spoke about the dark sides of colonial rule and urged fellow Indians to unite under a democratic government. In 1948, he started his own publication, Sahitya Mandira when he was only 27. “I used to publish one or two books on Gandhian philosophy, sell them to college kids and eat whatever I could afford from the money I got by selling those books,” he says. Sahitya Mandira is published even today.

He has received the citizen champion award this year

He believes that while the freedom-fighters wanted to free India to eradicate poverty, poverty has still remained. “Freedom has come only for those who are wealthy. Those who are poor have no freedom even today. Even after 72 years of freedom, only the rich are becoming richer and the poor are becoming poorer. It is the duty of the seniors to join hands and guide the young generation to the right path so that our country can attain Independence in the true sense,” explains the 101-year-old freedom-fighter who endured prison and other hardships, among others to bring us the free country we now live in.

Every August, Silver Talkies records memories and instances of humanity, fortitude and courage during the Independence Years — stories of life in a newly independent India; crossing over during Partition and stories of finding freedom.

Dadiji in her garden

We heard horrifying tales of Partition from Dadiji — of women and children being slaughtered and murdered; of how she and her family were saved and reached across the border to Ambala Cantonment as refugees, where they were allotted some land by the Government of India. An entire family of highly-qualified and well-placed individuals suddenly found their lives in complete disarray. Dadaji’s father was a famous doctor who had a running practice in Rawalpindi. Three of his brothers were doctors too and one of them was an academic who went on to establish a college in Ambala, that continues to be in existence even today.

Dadaji had studied to be a lawyer but found the profession to be too disillusioning and himself not cut out to handle the complexities of the same. “Lawyers were liars,” he thought and he couldn’t be one. He was working for a British General Insurance company. In the days leading to August 1947, it became evident that Partition would lead to riots. As he was heading the North-Western region, the management instructed him not to issue any pre-dated riot covers. He was a very honest man and did the needful, however, one of his junior managers issued lots of pre-dated riot covers and made money from that.

Dadaji, the honest man

By this time the entire family had moved to Ambala Cantonment without even a handbag, leaving fully furnished properties in Rawalpindi and Peshawar. After some weeks, Dadaji received a wire message from the UK and he was summoned to Bombay to answer for the fraud committed. Since he had proof that the junior manager had committed the fraud, he showed the management the forged signatures. Upon realising their mistake, the company was very apologetic and offered to open a branch in either Bombay, Delhi or Ambala to reinstate him. Dadaji declined. His integrity and honesty were challenged and he couldn’t work with them anymore.

Dadaji ‘s brother-in-law Balraj Sahni with two of his nephews and Prof. Ramesh

Dadaji chose to stand by his principles. He decided to delve into new terrain and went to Amritsar to get electrical parts on credit for 30-45 days. He returned to Ambala, got a bicycle and started selling to military workshops. For months he was the sole breadwinner of the family.

The funds were low as the entire family relied on the single salary that came from dadaji’s earnings in those days. Yet they managed to stay happy and content in the given circumstances.

There were nearly 80 people in the space that had been allotted to the family. To feed such a large family was no mean feat. The women would be up early to run a kitchen that never closed down at any point of time during the day. A big tub of dal would be cooked twice a day and the ladies of the family, including dadiji, would make tandoori rotis twice a day. Since they had so many mouths to feed and such large quantities to cook, they barely had time to take care of their little ones. The children would find ways to keep themselves occupied and were always up to mischief while the mothers worked hard to tackle the food situation.

Some good memories stood out amidst those harsh times.

A Muslim friend of dadaji drove all the way to the border to hand over his car, which had been left in his custody. There is an interesting story about the car as well. Dadaji had refused to marry in 1939 until he purchased his car. He was able to do that only in January 1940 and married dadiji that very month. This car was a British make called the Baby Morris, left behind in Peshawar as he had to bring his entire family to Rawalpindi in an Army Dakota plane and from there travel safely to Ambala. What’s unique to the story is that the car had a case of scotch whiskey (dadaji’s favourite) which remained intact when the car came to India.

This act was just for friendship or old times sake and an unthinkable gesture of kindness. Despite all the barbaric and inhuman acts of violence that were committed in those days, this is one story that has stuck with me for life. It reflects how people still believed in each other and how in some instances, humanity was more important than your religious identity.

Every August, Silver Talkies records memories and instances of humanity, fortitude and courage during the Independence Years — stories of life in a newly independent India; crossing over during Partition and stories of finding freedom.

A Lalitha’s Graduation Certificate in Bachelor of Engineering from Madras University. Photo Courtesy: Facebook Page of Women of College of Engineering, Guindy.

Syamala told in a news report: “Contrary to what people might think, the students at amma’s college were extremely supportive. She was the only girl in a college with hundreds of boys but no one ever made her feel uncomfortable and we need to give credit to this. The authorities arranged for a separate hostel for her too. I used to live with my uncle while amma was completing college and she would visit me every weekend.”

Given that women are sometimes unfairly judged when they step out to work after a baby even today, just imagine what a pathbreaking step this would have been for the brave Lalitha to have taken then.

Although Lalitha started her studies, she got lonely in the hostel as she was the only woman. It had a good outcome. After conveying the same to her father, Professor Rao decided to admit more women students in CEG in 1940 and Leelamma George and PK Thresia joined for the civil engineering course.

“Both of them were juniors to my mother by a year. However, all three of them graduated together because the Second World War was at its peak in 1944 and the University decided to cut down the engineering course by a few months,” Syamala explained.

As an engineer, Lalitha was a pioneer

After completing her graduation from CEG in electrical engineering, Lalitha worked with the Central Standard Organisation in Shimla and also with her father in Chennai for some time. Lalitha assisted her father when he invented Jelectromonium, an electrical musical instrument, an electric flame producer and smokeless ovens. Within the next nine months, Lalitha bagged a job in the Associated Electrical Industries in Kolkata.

Going down memory lane, Syamala has been quoted saying: “My aunt lived in Kolkata and had a son about my age. We were very close and so, amma used to go to work leaving me with my cousin and aunt. That’s how I grew up. Although today, I can understand how important my mother is in the history of women’s education in India as well as in the history of engineering, back then, all I knew was that my mom is an engineer—just another engineer.”

Later on, Lalitha’s achievements were recognised at the international level and in 1964, she was invited to the First International Conference of Women Engineers and Scientists (ICWES) in New York. In the same conference, Lalitha had said: “150 years ago, I would have been burned at the funeral pyre with my husband’s body.”

Lalitha had always lived ahead of her time and was brimmed with positivity and optimism. She made sure that daughter grew up among loving people and crushed everything negative around on and created a history. She passed away at 60 due to brain aneurysm but has left behind a remarkable path for women of all generations to follow.

Image Caption: A Lalitha, Leelamma George and P.K. Thressia (from right to left ): the first three female engineering students from CEG

Image Courtesy: mathisarovar.com  

Sadagopan Sampath is one such person. He has the General Power of Attorney of the Math. This has given him enough scope to bring his organisational skills into full play. At the time of his initiation, he was still working in Hyderabad, but his emotional attachment to the math had already grown by then. After retirement, he was asked to join the service of the lord and deputed to work on the development of the Ahobilam village, 53 km outside Allagadda in Andhra Pradesh.

The single most important task at that time was to ensure that the pilgrims could reach all the nine temples. With the help of the Tata Trusts other charities, pathways were developed so that the pilgrims could reach. Then in 2017, which marked the 1000th anniversary of Sri Ramanujacharya, major restorations of the temples and other structures were done.

As of today, the facilities for the pilgrims are far better, though Sampath says, “Much more needs to be done.”

After 25 years in a pharma company in Mumbai, Sampath returned to Hyderabad to join the family business. After his father’s death, he worked for his family business till 2008 when he dedicated himself completely to the development of the infrastructure at the Ahobilam village and Math.

He admits, “I get a lot of pleasure in helping the village. There were no roads and the local school was in bad shape with no benches and no facilities. With the help of the Tata endowments, we have changed a lot of things and I feel the school is as good as any in the city.”

An average day for Sampath begins with the Vishvaroopa Seva. Then from 8-10 am, he has a series of meetings with the engineers and others who are now restoring many of the crumbling and dilapidated structures to bring them back to their original shape. At one point, they dug four feet down into the ground and found some exquisite sculptures. An earlier effort had been made to raise the level of the ground and these beauties had been buried in the exercise.

Sampath’s work includes looking after the finances and the administration of the Math. He is not only an archaka ( priest) but he also supervises all the operations and the everyday running of the activities that happen in and around the temple complex. His responsibility is to run the temple in the best possible way.

While answering regarding the Temple funds and the government interference in the same, Sampath informed that the Math has filed a case on the abuse of the government order. The Math has got a stay and they have been told that they can henceforth run their establishment without any interference.

“The Math is officially 600 plus years old, unofficially many hundred years more. So far we have never had any misuse or misappropriation of funds. That is a clause which the government has to follow but they do not. Therefore we have filed our petition. In fact, in the last decade that I have been attached to the Math, I am proud of the fact that our corpus of funds has grown many times.”

Vatsala, his eldest daughter, said: “My father is my idol. I hero worship him for his steadfast values, especially of honesty and integrity. I hope and pray I have some of these virtues in me.”

Image Courtesy: Author

“Despite being the star himself, he made everyone around him feel special”: GS Jayanthi

I met Girish for the first time in a friend’s house and then caught up with him again at a success party post Cheluvi shooting at his house itself. My husband who is a theatre critic and Girish were friends and they knew each other pretty well from earlier as he used to review most of Girish’s plays.

It was on one of my birthdays that he first read out his play ‘Fire and Rain’. Later he was dropping me home when we spoke about my son, Chaithanya and his area of interest in making documentaries. Chaithanya was then doing his film studies. Girish seemed to be very happy with my concern about my son’s interest and he asked for Chaithanya’s photographs. He gave my son his first break as an assistant director and eventually Chaithanya became his associate director as well. Girish has been an inspiration for my son and whatever he could become today as a director, he owes it to him.

On the same day we spoke about my son, Girish had proposed me to do the costumes for his plays. Since then, I had done costume designing for most of his plays like Yayati, Fire and Rain and more, several of his films and telefilms where Chaithanya was also a part. Girish was an extremely humble and helpful person. Although he was the most talented star himself, he would make all of us around him feel so special.

I am still attached to Belaku, an NGO run by his wife, Saras and I am one of the trustees there. I have known him and his family for so many years and he will always remain as one of the greatest friends in our lives.

Install grab bars and handrails. Some grab bars come with four hand grips that make it easy to climb to a standing position slowly from the toilet seat or bath chair, without straining your knees or your back.  

SK Birla who installed a grab bar for his wife says: I purchased the Curve Grab Bar by Stander for my wife who is 82 years old. Once it was fitted, my wife’s remark was – “This is my dream handle. I am getting all the support and relief what I wished for!”

Toilet frames are also another good option with support available on both sides of the toilet seat. The width can be adjusted according to your toilet seat, making getting up a smooth experience without the fear of falling.

It’s also important to make the bathroom nonslip. Bathtubs, shower areas, as well as the bathroom floor can become dangerous when wet and slippery. Anti-slip bath and shower stickers have excellent slip protection, are non-abrasive, and easy to clean. You can also use rubber grip bath mats that come with suction grips and drainage holes so that water does not accumulate.

Fall prevention in the Bedroom

One of the best ways to avoid falls in the bedroom is to stow away clutter. Remove rugs, electrical cords, and anything that may come in the way and make an elderly person trip and fall.

In some cases, the elderly may fall off from the bed. This could be due to disorientation, vertigo, or even poor balance. Bed rails such as these are very useful at such times.

“It’s the best thing I got for my mother,” says Pratibha C. “She rolled off the bed in her sleep and I needed an immediate solution. This is such a blessing. Lightweight yet strong. Pullout for full length if needed. Has pockets where my mom keeps her tissues, Pain balms, mobile, even a small bottle of water that she can just reach out easily. Folds down easy in the day. So easily that my mom with her Parkinson’s hands can manage it on her own.”

Bed rails come in various options depending on the usage: Whether you want one simply for fall protection, or another which would also serve the purpose of helping to get in and out of bed. You can see a wide range of bedrails here.

Fall Prevention while Walking

Another leading cause of falls among the elderly is lack of balance when walking. These falls can occur inside or outside the house. A walking stick is the most common aid if your elderly loved one’s balance isn’t what it used to be. There are walking sticks that provide additional support for people with arthritic/painful hands. Explore various options before finding the one that works for you.

Elders who like to be out and about on their own and go for long nature walks might find the EZ Fold and Go Walker of good use. It’s ultra-light-weight and portable and can be fitted anywhere – in your car or your shopping cart.

If your elderly loved one has a neurological condition, then the uniquely designed and patented U-step II Walker (pictured above) would be an ideal solution to mobility issues. For elders with conditions like Parkinson’s Disease, Multiple Sclerosis or a history of stroke or brain injury, this walker can drastically improve your gait.

If you get tired easily and prefer to take rest at short intervals while walking, some rollators come with a seat option. The 2-in-1 Rollator and Transit Chair turns into a transit chair with a simple flip of the footrest, and the seat and backrest are padded for comfort when seated. There is an under-seat bag for carrying small items. It easily folds and can be transported with you wherever you go.

Before you buy a walker, evaluate what the use is going to be. Are you going to be on uneven surfaces or outdoor areas often? Do you need a walker with wheels or without? How much of grip does it have and does it support your body properly? Does it fold or pack up easily? Consult a physical therapist if possible or enquire about the product and whether it suits your requirement from the place you are buying. “Avoid being one of 3 seniors who fall above the age of 65,” says Smita Dalmia, Director, ElderEase. “Identify the problem and ask us for solutions.”

For more info, visit: https://eldereaseindia.com

Note: This is a promotional feature

Aruna (extreme left, in yellow) at a conference for empowerment for parents of LGBTQI+ persons

I think Abhishek was fine with his sexuality before telling me and was not ashamed. Since I am very close to him, he wanted to tell me himself instead of me finding out from elsewhere. Me accepting him definitely gave him more confidence to go out and just be himself. This was before the Section 377 verdict (On September 6, 2018, the Supreme Court of India struck down Section 377, a colonial law that criminalized homosexuality.), so for him it was also the fact that if someone bullied or blackmailed him about being gay, or he ran into some sort of trouble; or if someone threatened to tell his family about him being gay, he did not have to worry, as his mother already knew that he was gay and he had full support of his family. I’m happy we could provide him with that.

 — Aruna Desai spoke to Reshmi Chakraborty

Aruna Desai is one of the founding members of Sweekar –  The Rainbow Parents, a support group for parents of LGBTQ+ community members. Watch this space to read how the group has been a source of support and information for the LGBTQ and their families here.

Rajyalaskmi now lives a retired life in their home in Dadar, Mumbai. Her last international competition was in Perth five years ago. Her septuagenarian husband continues to coach at the Radio Club in Colaba. “I am a full-time farmer now,” says Rajyalaksmi gleefully. “We have a farm in the outskirts of Mumbai where we grow fruits and vegetables and I spend two to three days a week there. Other days when I am in Mumbai, I swim 1.5 km daily at the nearby Mahatma Gandhi Swimming pool at Shivaji Park.” She also tries to divide her time between her three children; two of them are in Mumbai while one daughter is in Australia whom she visits often.

From the time she started her career as a coach, Rajyalakshmi says she has seen a positive change. “Things were different then. Now with increased awareness and exposure, it is easier for sportswomen. But I still feel we will take another 10 to 20 years to get at our women swimmers at par with the international standards,” she concludes.

Around 1995, the Sangeet Natak Akademi called her group to present puppet theatre on stage to represent Andhra Pradesh.

Nori has been making almost all her puppets, and Radha is her favourite. Her family has been a great support. Her husband, Sarma,75, “is a great performer and shares my enthusiasm equally.” Sridhar, her son, provides all the digital music for her shows which is a great help, as she hardly gets any money out of these shows and it would be unfair to ask others to do things without being paid. “The advantage of getting the family involved is that I don’t have to pay them!”

Over a while, Nori has evolved her own form of puppetry which deals with contemporary issues. Her production, ‘Buddha and the Garbage Monster’ was all about the garbage being chucked into the Hussain Sagar Lake in (a water body in Hyderabad). The garbage rose in the shape of a monster and Buddha used a gun to kill it while he extracted a promise from the children that they would never throw any more garbage into the lake, nor allow anyone else to do the same.

Nori has also done a show on Dementia and Alzheimers’ Disease called the ‘The Lady in the mirror.’

According to the ARDSI (Alzheimer’s and Related Disorders Society of India) Dementia is a progressive, incurable disease of the brain that causes deterioration in thinking, memory and everyday abilities. About 3.2 million people in India are affected by Alzheimer’s and other forms of dementia. Nori created The Lady in the Mirror as part of ARDS I’S Brain Campaign in 2014. The poignant story of Grandma with Alzheimer’s and her friend in the mirror left the audience spellbound when it was performed. This craft was always thought to be for kids but Nori, with her innovative ideas touching on current issues of ageing, pollution and the environment, has brought a new perspective to the world of puppets.

Silver Talkies Social member Shakunthala Pai’s mother Sundari Pai is a beautiful 102. She has in her kitty a bottomless well of stories and life advice. We met her to listen in to a century of stories…

What’s the earliest memory of your childhood:

Growing up my friends were mostly my neighbours who were of the same age and went to the same school, all of us barefooted. Horse-drawn carriages were a luxury in those days.

A wow moment you remember:

The first time I saw the magic of electricity. After 25 years of growing up without electricity, I couldn’t believe that water could be pumped and could reach our homes through a pipe!

What was the fashion for young women in those days:

I started wearing a saree at when I was 11 years old and wore a saree even to school. I remember a saree used to cost about Rs.3 back then and for special occasions, we would wear a Kancheevaram saree which was about Rs.18. So yes, my fashion statement, if you would want to know, was being the Saree and Barefooted girl!

Horse-drawn carriages such as this one were a luxury when Sundari was young. Photograph: Wikimedia Commons

Was schooling rare for girls? How did yours come about? 

Yes, it was rare, but my father was the Inspector of schools, and that is why he wanted both his girls and boys to be educated. We were 8 siblings. Only I am alive now.

Did you have a favourite sport?

I was in an all girls school and loved playing basketball. In one of the games, I scored the highest number of baskets, and our team won. I got a tin of talcum powder as the prized gift for this game. Most of the girls from my school came to my house to see my present, and that was a moment of pride!

What is your earliest memory of a responsibility?

Taking care of my younger brothers when I was 14

Anything you wish to have done differently?

Absolutely not. I have no regrets, and I try to be positive at all times and situations. But my children complain that I keep worrying about everyone’s wellbeing and get stressed unnecessarily.

How did you celebrate your 100th birthday?

My 100th birthday was celebrated at my daughter’s house. 100 guests were invited. My entire family is musically inclined, so everybody played musical instruments, danced and sang for me. Oh, and a write up about my fun 100th was featured in one of the newspapers in Mangalore!

What are some of the most important lessons you have learnt throughout your life?

Live and let live. Be friendly with your neighbours and help people around you as much as you can.

What could you buy with a Rupee when you were young?

I remember being able to buy a basket full of vegetables for 1 rupee

Did you meet your husband before you got married?

No. The first time I saw my husband was at on the day of our wedding while we exchanged garlands.

How do you keep your memory so sharp even now? Tell us the secret.

Every day I repeat all nursery rhymes and songs that I know until I fall asleep.

A life-event that made you feel blessed:

Gandhiji came to my school, the Annie Besant School, Mangalore. We were made to stand in a row, and he passed by where my friends and I were standing. I was lucky to touch his feet and take his blessings.

Any advice for our current generation:

Don’t be glued to your gadgets. Spend time with your family. Don’t eat all the unhealthy food outside. It seems so tough to lead a simple life these days!

At the TCS World 10k run in 2011

Being a ‘Champion with Disability’ in the Charity segment of this Run, my aim is to raise awareness and funds for an NGO – Diya Foundation, which trains young, intellectually challenged adults to raise them to a level of independent yet assisted living.

This is similar to my physical situation after Rheumatoid Arthritis hit me at the tender age of 37, and my minimal dependence on caregivers since. I am convinced of a need for greater understanding, sensitivity and outreach towards this much-neglected sector of mental health where social stigma deters us from viewing such folk as ‘especially equal’; as requiring enabling and empowering in order to mainstream them. My statement is also that being a Person with Disability (PwD) need not stop you from ‘running’ to achieve your purpose in life. Hence, at 69, I am excited to be ‘running’, even though I normally limp around on arthritic legs. Sport and social outreach are embedded in my blood!

In the ‘wheelchair run’ category, some like me have an escort-pusher; others are self-propelled. During my sports days, I never dreamed I’d return 50 years later for a ‘different kind’ of ‘run’ and for a cause! As rookies in 2008, my zealous young volunteer escort and I realized what novices we were at the game. Our co-participants zoomed away while we zig-zagged all over the roads. My wheelchair encounters had until then been limited to postoperative trips down smooth hospital corridors, gently manoeuvred by expert attendants. My escort was a first timer too, so for both of us this ‘hard to control’ adventure began fairly traumatically. I had no intention of ‘flying out’ of the wheelchair (no seat belt here) through an accidental bump into a sidewalk. It was initially difficult though to convince my companion that I was not here to win the race, but only to show my spirit for the game. Thankfully my message did get through in a short while and thereafter the ride was slow, smooth and enjoyable.

We had the road to ourselves as we wheeled along some decent ones (both these experiences rare in today’s Bangalore). Early morning walkers cheered us along, as I distributed my poem ‘Beatitudes of the Disabled’. I also spoke to media crews about the need for more awareness among our people that the disabled can be more productive in society’s mainstream. I told them of this possibility if basic and better facilities of infrastructure like ramp access to buildings and disabled friendly roads and transport are provided. My message was well received and I hope is bearing some fruit.

The author during the 2017 run with her wheelchair buddy.  

The event, which was a truly fun-filled experience of camaraderie among Bangalore citizens, brought us in a happy and fulfilled ‘last to finish’. Even though tired, and by now, my enthusiastic escort panting as well, we had achieved our mission to spread the vision of the inspiring organization in whose cause we had ‘run.’ Now we’re veterans!

In 2012 I received the award for being the highest fundraiser among Women Care Champions with my collection of Rs.10.01 lakhs, and in 2017 with the ICare award for highest Individual Fundraiser. Truly proud to dare! I am now ready and set to ‘run’ once more on May 19, 2019, and to raise Rs.5 lakhs and more if I can.

TCS 10 K Run registrations are on till Friday, April 26, 2019. If Jackie’s story has inspired you to register, click here: https://tcsworld10k.procamrunning.in/apply-now

Featured image: The author receiving the ICare Award from actor Puneeth Rajkumar in 2017.

All photographs courtesy the author

The Vote song, sung in the sweet voice of classical singer Nivedita Dutt, 54 and written by her husband and software entrepreneur Ashis Dutta, 60+, is a rousing composition, asking us to step out and cast our vote and explaining its importance in the simplest of terms. Popular on social media, the song has now been translated into 9 more languages, an initiative of Janaagraha, a Bangalore based NGO run by Swati & Ramesh Ramanathan and working towards citizen participation in public governance.

The Vote Song was composed before the 2014 elections, over a dining table conversation. “We discuss a lot of things over the dinner table,” Nivedita told Silver Talkies. “Sometimes many things come out of mundane conversations,” agrees Ashis. “We were doing a lot of talking and decided to do something instead. We are a musical family so thought of creating a song.” The couple doesn’t exactly remember if Nivedita started composing the music or Ashis wrote the lyrics first – it was truly a joint effort.

The couple were clear about one thing: “The song had to be strictly apolitical and we were not going to canvas for any party. Our aim was to motivate people to come out and vote.”

Ashis, who has written songs earlier and has a working knowledge of street Hindi, kept the Hindi lyrics simple. It was composed in Raag Desh by Nivedita, a Raag he feels has a “subliminal patriotism to it.” Vande Mataram, composed by Rabindranath Tagore is one of the most well-known Raag Desh compositions. They eventually gave the song to Janaagraha with the agreement that the NGO could give it to other organizations, with Nivedita and Ashis’s copyright and credit retained.

And that’s how the Vote Song was picked up by the Election Commission. In fact, the couple had been unaware of it until they got a call from Association for Democratic Reforms (ADR), an election watch forum, asking if they could compose a similar song on ‘bhrashtachar (corruption)’ due to the popularity of the Vote Song.

Chalo Chalein has been used extensively during state elections in Uttar Pradesh and with a Kannada version during the state elections in Karnataka in 2018. Now, with the translation into 9 languages (10 in total, including the original Hindi), Ashis, Nivedita and the Janagraha team are hoping to motivate more people.

You can hear the original Hindi version in this Election Commission video 

The song has been translated in Kannada, Tamil, Telugu, Malayalam, Gujarati, Marathi, Punjabi, Bengali and Odiya with the help of volunteers from across the country, a joint effort of Janaagraha and the couple. Nivedita, who speaks Bengali, Hindi and English did find singing the translated versions a challenge at times. “I would ask volunteers to read out the words line by line to get the correct pronunciations,” she says. Her greatest challenge was singing in Malayalam. “I asked some of my students who speak the language to help me with the correct pronunciation. I would record and send it to them for approval,” she notes. You can hear all the translated version here, courtesy a playlist from Janaagraha: 

Many of us sit and lament about governance issues but as we all know — the first step is to exercise our vote. It’s heartening to see the effort and interest put in by Nivedita and Ashis in creating something that would encourage people to do that. And it’s an effort that is all heart. When they couldn’t find a translator for the Odiya language, Ashis reached out to a former classmate, now a Head of Department at IIT Kanpur and sought his help with the translation. A volunteer in interior Maharashtra helped them with the Marathi translation. It was also a challenge to set the lyrics in rhythm with the original tunes and often took many iterations. Do they think it has encouraged people? “It has motivated my help at home and my driver to go and out vote,” says Nivedita, who thinks it has influenced many of their friends too. The couple wrote and recorded the song for the common man and Ashis feels their purpose would be served if an auto driver or the helping hand at a grocery store heard the song and felt inspired to go out and vote. “Even if the song inspires 1 per cent, especially the younger people, that is something we are thankful for,” they feel. As for the Brashtachar song, it’s probably waiting for another dinner table conversation. To be composed, recorded and inspire. Someday soon.

Chawla on the road

My Journey So Far

Most people in India and abroad still don’t know that one can travel from Delhi to London by road. Therefore, making a travel documentary on this road journey is also one of my objectives. It will let people know what kind of homework and preparations are required. Through the documentary, I also wanted to share my lifetime travel experiences about driving, border crossing, food, culture, health, challenges and the stories of the nice, beautiful people of this world who helped me in each and every country unconditionally.

I started my dream expedition on July 7, 2018, from New Delhi. It’s a dream I have chased for 40 years now. 

I drove from Delhi to London in my 2013 model old Toyota Fortuner SUV and travelled approximately 40000 km across 30 countries and more than 150 cities ?in 135 days?. I was the sole driver and had a crew of two guys with me who were shooting my documentary film — Luqmaan Malik was the camera person and Dev Malik the assistant director. I started from India to Nepal, covering China, Kyrgyzstan, Uzbekistan, Kazakhstan, Russia, Estonia, Lithuania, Latvia, Finland Sweden, Norway, Denmark, Netherlands Germany, Czech Republic, Poland, Hungary, Slovenia, Liechtenstein, Austria, Switzerland, Italy, Monaco, Spain, Portugal, France, Luxembourg, Belgium and finally reached London (UK) on December 16, 2018.

I fulfilled my dream of travelling by road as a solo driver from Uzbekistan onwards with lots of serious health issues. This journey was very challenging physically, emotionally and professionally but with God’s blessing and my family’s support, I was able to finish it gracefully.

I shipped my car from London to Mumbai and drove from Mumbai to Delhi on Feb 20. En route, I visited Ahmedabad, Jaipur and Amritsar and reached Delhi on March 1, 2019. My total journey from Delhi to London is now 39,508 km.

The Experience

This journey of mine was magical and filled with self-discoveries. I met more than 700 people and more than 400 people have signed the car, starting from Arnold Schwarzenegger, one of the biggest Hollywood stars to politicians, ministers, ambassadors, mayors, Bollywood Actors, directors to the common man.

Meeting The Terminator!

I found that this world is full of very nice human beings who gave me unconditional love, respect and support. My colourful turban and white beard with a car full of signatures become the centre of attraction everywhere. When people met me, their first reaction is WOW and then HOW and finally WHY. After explaining and signing on my car, my journey becomes their journey and their journey becomes our journey.

Unknown people who became my friends invited me for lunch, dinner and to stay with them and helped throughout in my journey selflessly. I realised that this world is full of kind-hearted, helpful, caring, loving and compassionate people.

My family was of great support to me. My son took care of my parents who are 84 and 80 and live with me and told me to chase my dreams. My daughter took care of my wife who has diabetic foot and couldn’t accompany me on such a long trip. Both my daughter and wife came to London to receive me and stayed with me for two weeks.

The Challenges I Faced

Being vegetarian, I had to face problems with food in China, Central Asia and Russia. Western toilets were another issue on this route until I reached Russia. I also met with three road accidents but God was kind and we were back on the road within 15 to 20 minutes each time. After every accident, I did not stop and think about what happened and worry over it. Instead, I focused on what could have been happened and the fact that we were all safe with God’s blessing.

In Central Asia, diesel was also not available everywhere and people were selling it in the black market.

In Tibet and Kashgar, you can’t take video interviews or photograph government officials and government properties. Our phones were tapped and cops were following us. Chinese immigration people were not polite in all the check posts. But in spite of all these challenges, I never stopped my journey.

What’s Next

Now I am ready to drive to all 7 continents and travel to 100 countries covering 2,00,000 kms in the next 18 months. I will be starting my next journey in August 2019 from New Delhi and cover all the 29 states of India. I’ll then visit Singapore, 10 countries and after that ship my car to Los Angeles to cover North, South & Latin America, Antarctica and from there to Australia, New Zealand and Africa.

How I Managed My Expenses

We had lots of sponsors who supported us by giving equipment, hard drive, food and hotel stay, covered one of the major expenses which were obtaining China road crossing permission of Rs

7 lakh, Carnet certificate (International Customs document)of Rs 1.5 lakh and approximately Rs 2.5 lakh car shipping cost from London to Mumbai. My total cost for this trip would have been approximately Rs 35 lakh for which I used my life savings. My sponsors included Swiss Films, Austrian Tourism, Uzbekistan Film Promotion Board, Sony, DJI China, Edelknore USA, ZNIYUN China, Hakko, LaCie, Seagate and G.K.Fashions Pvt Ltd.

The Message I Want To Spread

People are very nice all around the world and we just need to be more interactive with them to explore this. The whole world should be one global village without the visa and boundaries this is my dream. You can follow my journey on my Facebook page: The Turban Traveller

–– Mr Chawla spoke to Reshmi Chakraborty

Liked this story? You may also like: Road Tripper Seniors & Naanis On The Highway

In the middle of chores

Though she won’t admit it in as many words, Dr. Sane’s decision to live without electricity has been driven by her deep love for the environment and a desire to live as simply as possible. The lack of electricity hasn’t meant a hindered life. She has a doctorate in Botany and at the age of 46, got a Master’s degree in Indology due to her love of History.

Dr Sane has written books on subjects ranging from Botany to Indian History, all in the light of the solar-powered lamps and oil lamps she uses for her daily needs. Some of her books on Botany are part of the curriculum for graduate students in the University of Pune. She has also given several talks on the Mythology of trees. She has never used the Internet (or for that matter, a television, refrigerator and other electronic items) and relies on books and academic research to gain knowledge and broaden her learning. Her trusted companion throughout the day is a radio and she has been honoured by All India Radio, Pune for being a long-time listener and scriptwriter.

Dr Sane’s book in Marathi on the Buddha and his teachings. She has been invited to speak on the subject many a time

Dr. Sane’s simple hut is crammed with books. They’re in stacks on the floor, inside two steel cupboards and even on the single bed where she sleeps at night. “They are my best friends,” she says, her conversation peppered with trivia – on history and trees.

Did you know that Flame of the Forest or Palash trees gave its name to the town of Palashi, where the Battle of Plassey was fought? Or that Samrat Ashok was one of the first conservationists our country had. “His stone edicts specified which animals could not be hunted, specified days for slaughter and even mentioned why chaff should not be burnt after harvest,” she says, alluding to the smog that choked Delhi in early 2018.

Dr. Sane’s last book was written in 2018, on Sustainable Development, in Marathi. She has written over 25 academic books and 10 books on general subjects, ranging from plants to Indian history.

Orthopaedic troubles notwithstanding, Dr. Sane potters around her home, beginning her day at 6 am. “l do everything myself,” she says, walking a step down to the well next to her hut and drawing water. “See, there are no mosquitos in the well! Though I cannot use this water for drinking any more, I use it for all other purposes.” She sweeps and washes the overgrown garden every morning, bathes and does a puja. She believes in God but doesn’t think rituals need to be followed, though she does have an idol at home. Her real belief is in nature. She points to two blackened oil lamps in the garden, at the base of a tree trunk. “I light these lamps every evening as homage to the tree Gods, I worship nature.”

Dr. Sane doesn’t believe in labelling herself an environmentalist or goes by modern day hashtags like green warrrior. For her green living has been the way of life since childhood. “I follow what I believe is the right way of life for me and I have no advice for anyone and won’t ask them to follow this,” she says, though as our conversation progresses, she talks about how sustainability is the only way forward. As we step out of her darkened cottage and the morning sun streams through the tall trees surrounding it, she does admit that the love for plants and animals is too deeply ingrained in her to imagine any other way of life. It was how her parents, whom she calls “liberal-minded” were too. “If we could manage to live this way, then why not? Our resources are limited here on earth. We need to reuse them as we cannot replace natural resources. We need to keep in mind the six Rs: Refuse, Reduce, Reuse, Recycle, Restore, Respect.”

Dr. Sane has battled prejudice, misconception and ridicule for the way she lives all through her life. Her property being smack in the middle of the city has meant real estate agents and builders constantly trying to hassle her.

“People always have something to say. This looks like a jungle and some people say why don’t you clean it,” she sighs, looking around the sprawl of leaves, mulch and wilderness. “Some of them ask me if there are snakes here.”

Are there snakes, I ask.

“Maybe there are. Honestly, I’m more scared of human beings than I am of any animal. Humans are the most dangerous.”

The biases had followed her at work as well. “People had an image in their mind about how a Head of Department should be attired or the way she should be living. My only answer was, I’m good at my work, so why should how I choose to live matter to them?”

Indology remains her passion

All this has never mattered to her students, many of whom continue to keep in touch with Sane and have a lot of love and respect for her. She’s been a favourite teacher for many. She has guided students until recently and mentions that they are always welcome home.

“God has been kind, there are people who visit me regularly.” Her publisher’s office is nearby and Manish Agarwal, who works there drops in regularly to bring her medicines and other things of daily use. As we talk, a local vendor walks in to help her adjust the watering hose for the plants, given the dry season coming up. Dr Jagdish Bhutada, an Ayurvedic physician treating her since years, visits regularly to check on her health.

An ex-colleague of Sane’s lives nearby and drops in almost every afternoon with some home-cooked food. “We spend some time together, both of us doing our own reading. She gets some bhaji (vegetable dish) and I make some rice.”

“I don’t feel lonely at all. People keep dropping in but even when I’m alone, I stay occupied with my books and papers,” she says.

Her extensive reading and knowledge gathering make Dr. Sane is a treasury of information around the subject she loves – trees and plants. Trivia is never far from her mind, conversations easily leading to it. We talk about Pune University, where she worked as an advisor post-retirement and she tells me about the two olive trees growing in the campus, the only ones in existence in the city. “Go and look them up.”

Dr. Sane doesn’t worry over things out of her control, such as the future or failing health. She may not be ritualistic but likes to recite shlokas and stotras (devotional chants) to calm her mind.

“I live in the present moment. Don’t worry about the future and you will be alright.”

All photographs: Silver Talkies

Dr. Usha Desai and Renee Vyas with a poster celebrating their 100th tree walk in-Mumbai.

Photo: Preeti SP/Tree Appreciation Walks, Mumbai

The walks are well-researched. The curators do a recce of the place, then identify around 20 trees for the walk. The walk is not just scientific information about trees; it is also woven with history and interesting stories from mythology, films and literature related to these trees. Dr. Desai, who recently turned 80, conducts these walks with the same enthusiasm and curiosity, with which she started the tree journey in her early 50s.

The beautifully bloomed Indian Coral tree (Erythrina variegate) at the MGM Hospital campus in Mumbai, where she used to practice, made her curious. “These trees blossom during Holi festival and have beautiful orangish-red flowers. So, I was curious to know them and joined the Bombay Natural History Society (BNHS) in 1992 and attended late Dr. Almeida and Dr. Latoo’s field visits. I also bought some books and identified the trees and got them labeled. That was in 1995 when I was 56.”

She continued this hobby after retirement in 1997, by starting nature walks with BNHS. But the realization that she needed in-depth knowledge about trees, made her go back to learning in her 60s, starting a second innings in doing something she loved.

In 2000, Dr Desai did a six-week course in Botany with BNHS, followed by a one-year course in entomology, lead biodiversity. She followed that up with a six-week course in Voluntary Training at Conservation Education Centre. She started volunteering there and met Renee Vyas. Together, they did a one-year course in Botany with BNHS in 2008 under Dr. Swapna Prabhu.

Dr Desai and Vyas would cover green areas of Mumbai, studying and sharing information about trees. “During those tree walks, we were approached by various friends and even strangers to share the joy we felt and the knowledge we gained. We realized that there was a need for such walks and that’s how Tree Appreciation Walks was born in 2010,” Dr Desai adds.

When they started, the duo knew only 100 plants. Now they know of more than 600, which include climbers, wildflowers, herbs, medicinal plants, grass and bamboos, among others. Knowing trees can’t be done in isolation as it is necessary to learn about methods like seed dispersal and pollination, among others.

Dr. Desai loves to narrate the relationship between fig trees and wasps. For every type of fig tree in the world, there is a specific species of wasps, and they play an important role in pollination, which is a very complex process. Dr. Desai explains this by drawing simply on a piece of paper. Her walks are attended by botany students and teachers as they find it is an interesting way to learn. During her talks, Dr. Desai also refers to objects of daily use, like the broom, used every day in Indian homes. It is made from Broom Grass (Thysanolaena maxima) and comes all the way from Assam!

She explains how the Bougainvillea (Bougainvillea Sp.), a native of South America, was accidentally discovered during Louis Antoine de Bougainville’s expedition to circumnavigate the globe in the 18th Century, possibly by a European lady, Jeanne Baret, the first woman to circumnavigate the globe.

Ever smiling Dr. Desai. Photo by Arti Das

The tree walks last for more than three hours at times and can be tiring. But not for Dr Desai. You wonder where she gets her energy from. “The source of this energy is passion, curiosity, and interest,” she states.

These walks are not a simple walk in the park. Dr. Desai gives out detailed information. She equips herself with a voice enhancer as she has a soft voice, images of trees and fruits, reference books and a little box of found materials- seeds, leaves, etc. She literally doesn’t leave any leaf unturned during her walks.

Her field trips with Vyas last for six hours and she still travels by the local train to conduct her walks in Mumbai. Renee Vyas, who has a finance background and is 62, shares, “Usha’s passion to learn and share about trees, plants, insects etc, gives her immense energy to go on for hours in rain, sunshine. I have learned many things from her but the most important is her persistent effort to go deep inside the detail of the subject till it is understood perfectly by her. She never leaves it to the chance or is satisfied with half knowledge.”

“One of the most unique aspects of Dr. Usha’s walks is the way she weaves stories about trees, animals and human life,” says architect Tallulah D’Silva from Goa, who initiated a tree walking group in Goa lead by Dr. Usha. “She [Dr. Usha] is so keen to learn like a student. I think that’s an asset. She is so honest too and when she does not know enough about something she finds out and shares it with the group. She exudes so much love and positivity, it’s impossible not to love her and all the trees you meet with her! And at 80 years, she is my oldest walk buddy!”

Looking back, Dr. Desai mentions that her love for trees started as a student. Her school campus had many trees and during the tree plantation program, they would sing songs of the trees. “Unfortunately, we could not identify all the trees except the common ones like Imli, Parijat, Mango, Asopalav, Bakool. Recently, I visited the same school and identified all the trees,” she confirms.

What is the most gratifying thing about these walks? Dr. Desai states, “It is when we see the joy of recognition [of trees] on the faces of the participants. Most first-timers say they are now in love with trees and know why they should be preserved. Many have started conducting tree walks.”

Neither Dr. Desai nor her walk participants want her to slow down. Her love for trees is unstoppable and surely an inspiration for all. As she rightly concludes, “As Maya Angelou says I too would like to say, ‘My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humour, and some style.”

You can know more here about Tree Appreciation Walk, Mumbai and their schedule.

Pramila Mukherjea, 80, better known among her friends as Pimi, is one of three daughters of a Punjabi soldier. Mukherjea went on to marry a Bengali soldier and is a skilled craftsperson, who is still carrying forward the needlecraft she learnt when she was barely 10-year-old. She and her husband retired in Secunderabad, where even after his death her hobbies of knitting and stitching keep her physically fit and active. Mukherjea’s belief, “Knitting is very mathematical” is probably what keeps her mind sharp and agile. She still knits on orders and requests and makes a little pocket money. In the last two years, Mukherjea, who also spends time with her children in the US, has been knitting caps in all colours for charity. She gives them away to most of the maids who have kids and grandkids. Her gratification?

“When these poor women send me mobile pictures of the little ones wearing the caps and smiling into the camera, that is the payment for me. It makes me happy that they value what I do for them.”

A project where a charitable organization has asked for a large number of caps of all sizes has already set her “knitting brain” in a tizzy as she identifies friends who can help her in this endeavour.

Teamwork Tales

Sudha Gorthi, Lalitha Ayer, Sudha Raghuram are all in their 70s. Gulshan Bamboat, Vimla Madon, Manjula Reddy and Deepa Shailendra are the younger members of the same group that is gearing up for the fifth year of their Charity Jumble sale (the featured image above shows the group). The idea of raising money for charity by selling someone else’s trash has caught on in a big way. People donate things they do not want, while this group puts tags on them and sells them to people who need them. Deepa is the ‘Internet wizard’ of the group. When the word goes out from her, people donate generously from far and wide. The others give their homes, time and their energy for tagging, pricing and the segregation of products. When the stalls go up, they sell the used products for reasonable amounts from Rs 10 to Rs 100.

Some of the larger donations are also sold online and through word of mouth. Whatever does not get sold is collected by another charitable organization that gives out clothes to the poor and the homeless. The money raised from the sale is given out to various charitable organizations and individuals who are doing real service to humanity. The investment is zero but the love, care and energy spent on this project is invaluable and the money that is raised goes beyond expectations. It may come as no surprise that the preparations for the sale take months and the donated goods keep coming in almost till the last date. The products donated include clothes ranging from saris, kurtas, salwar kameez sets, jeans and jackets to utensils like pressure cookers, plates and glasses to shoes and books, just to name a few. People also discard junk jewellery and electronic goods in both working and non-working conditions. I do need to add here that the above group of women also take care of their health apart from this unique charity initiative — they exercise together and once summer comes, they will go for swimming too! Lalitha Ayer has joined piano lessons to go with her classical vocal training and Gulshan Bambot is a volunteer with a couple of organizations.

Towards an Arty Cause

Amita Talwar, 65, started out as a journalist with her own little magazine booklet called Channel Six, where she did most of the editing and photography. She gave it all up to travel and concentrate on photography, which is her first love. Occasionally, she dabbles in painting with acrylics. She is now part of a group that raises money for charity through art exhibitions titled ‘Art for causes.’ She encourages people to donate their artworks and when the money is raised it is given to various charities. Art for Causes allows Talwar to go truly creative with her art and photography, blending and reinventing images.

Art for Causes is also working with children from slums and underprivileged communities. Currently, they are involved in teaching photography to children from the slums – every Sunday a group from Art for Causes spends time with these kids, teaching them to compose and click pictures. After six months, they wish to hold an exhibition-cum-sale of photographic prints done by these kids.

“It is a win-win situation for all of us – we enjoy the time and the kids are learning something new and exciting, away from their daily boring studies. Some of the kids have the talent and have captured some startling images. We hope to sell the prints and raise some money for their own welfare,” Talwar shares.

Isn’t sharing part of yourself with the world fun? Especially when you are older and with responsibilities taken care of may find a lot of time on your hand. Follow the suggestions given by Henry Todd — give of yourself– volunteer for groups like the above, get involved in social work using the skills you possess and you will find that suddenly your life is full.

All you need to do is reach out!

Meenakshi as Aanadalakshmi

Recalling that she couldn’t pursue dancing beyond the age of 15 and having missed out on the traditional Arangetram, the debut on-stage performance – Ramanathan always felt that she had missed the bus to the pleasures of dance.

“I had come across a stage performance in 2014 by the dancers from Athma Laya. Truth be told, I was far from impressed as the dancer in me was looking for perfection. But over time, I realized that it was ‘the’ place for dancers like me who want to pursue dancing beyond what one would call the dancing age.”

Athma Laya is a platform for all women to dance despite being way past the shelf life in the dancing sphere. Ramanathan joined the school and realized her dream of giving a performance on stage for the first time in her life during their annual program last year in 2018, called ‘Dance hour nite’.

“Everybody gets a chance to come to the front to perform,” says Ramanathan who danced in three of their items — Aanandalaksmi; Garuda Gamana and the Kashmiri rofu. “I felt tremendous joy in performing and while seeing my grown-up son video graphing from a vantage point.”

Does Dance Help As We Age?

Research has found that dancing improves strength and muscle function in older adults, as well as increasing balance and flexibility, leading to better stability and fewer injuries. Dancing can also improve your cardiovascular health and takes care of overall emotional well-being. Mala Bharath launched Athma Laya in 1998 with a deep commitment to women.

“Most women who wanted to dance couldn’t due to societal norms yet the passion was latent and sometimes glowing strong.”

Hence, she started Athma Laya, a dance school that teaches Bharatanatyam as a therapy for women. Her predominant aim is to see a lot of “happy women smile” for whom dancing as a hobby or dream was paid put by marriage or other limitations or who earlier had limited resource to learn. Bharath feels that the journey itself has been an evolution. “We focus on not just the steps or the physical aspect of dance but also the emotional balance which is taken care of through expression and also focus on meditation for clarity of thought. Ours does not focus on perfection but more to do with passion.” Bharath reinstates.

Athma Laya’s once a week class allows dancers to dance within their limitations. Interestingly, the dancers constantly stretch beyond that, surprising themselves in the process. All they need to join a class is a medical certificate and an intrinsic motivation to come to the class, rain or shine.

Athma Laya helps women to experience bliss and feel complete within. The program is focused on training dancers to one song at a time to avoid putting them under unnecessary stress.

The dancers of Athma Laya

No Dearth Of Cheerleaders

Dancing at this age? That seems to be a question that thankfully, no one is asking. 10 centres in Chennai with one each in Hyderabad and Bangalore, reflect the growing popularity of dance hour with Athma Laya. The family members, be it the parents, in-laws, husband or children have been of great support to the older dancers.

Vijayalakshmi, mother-in-law of Vaidehi, a dancer in her 40s, is one proud woman. “My daughter-in-law is artistic and is also a perfectionist. We had limited opportunity to learn during our younger days and also limited means. Now that she is learning to dance, I am happy that she is able to manage a full-time job, has been a hands-on mother and is one ‘perfect dancer.’

Vaidehi laughs it off when she says, “at home, this is one more reason to bond with my teenage sons as they encourage, tease and have fun at my expense! None of us has that kind of time and energy to be a professional dancer, but the very act of rhythmic movement and expressing emotions has brought forth such positive energy that I feel young and lively and I am able to handle much more both in the professional front and also at home.”

Ramanathan who is living by herself reminisces: “From the moment, I broached the topic with my son, he actively encouraged me to follow my passion to overcome my empty nest syndrome and just brushed aside my worry about what would people say. From then on, there has been no looking back? Nothing else mattered to me except my son’s approval and that itself was a revelation to me. I was worried that he might feel I was beyond the dancing age!” Her practice sessions were mostly in her large kitchen as the sauces and sambar simmered on the stove and she recalls her son who has been her cheerleader, record the same without her knowledge.

“My dance has even lessened my pang of his going abroad on a work-related stint.” And it has come with a surprising benefit for this avid traveller! “At a personal level, I am happy that I have sufficient balance and flexibility to use the Indian loo when I travel,” she says chuckling.

Kalarani, who at 64 has been with Athma Laya for the past six years, quips with laughter lacing her words, “Yes I do have certain limitations due to my age…I can’t squat…by the time I clamber up from the squatting position, the song is done!” Yet amidst all that light-hearted banter, she feels that all her niggling knee pain or stiffness simply disappears as she pursues her passion for dance!

The author’s grandchildren

Brunch was laid out and while we tucked into the yummy stuff, Illaiah, the caretaker, came along and gave us the bombshell. In his rapid-fire Kannada and the broken English that Lakshmi translated, we gathered that an elephant had been in the premises last night.

An elephant? Are you sure? Meghna made him repeat his statement. He was quite sure and wanted us to go across and see the place where the perimeter fence had been broken and the elephant had entered.

Now obviously Meghna was worried – she had her old mother and she had her two kids. What if the elephant decided to come back? The what-ifs carried on…

Shall we go back? I asked tentatively.

No, ma, she said, we shall be okay.

Now if Mayur (her husband) had known he would never have allowed us to come – that is for sure!

The walk around the perimeter took us a while and then we walked around the rooms under construction. The kids loved the piled-up sand and happily played there, while Meghna spoke to the mason. Shivaye was probably some superhero in his head because he had his superman cape on and carried a thick stick to help him climb the ‘mountain’ of sand. I could make out that he was saying things to himself. Tasmayee was the queen of the realm, sitting on the pile of sand and dreaming!

Back to the shelter, where the kids promptly waded into the pool —– no fancy swimming pool this — just a brick-lined pond, six feet square and six feet deep with leaves and twigs floating on it. The kids loved it— the sun was blazing hot while the water was cool.

After another yummy lunch, we did some artwork. By then the sun was setting and Meghna and Lakshmi set about fixing up the tents for the night. A compact roll about 16 inches long unfolded into a tent to sleep two people. Lakshmi has also learnt the fine art of hammering down the stakes into the hard-rocky soil, one at a time. I watched fascinated as I saw these two girls set up the two tents. I was sharing a tent with Lakshmi and my super thick, well-padded mattress was laid out for me.

The author at the farm

While I was watching all these activities, that primaeval fear of the wild elephant had not really gone away.

What if the tusker decides to come back and finds us mere mortals in its way? The kids were happy playing and both these wonderful girls were figuring out ways and means of keeping all of us secure. Illaiah was asked to get one more hurricane lamp from his home and it was designated for the tree between the two tents so that the light would keep the animal off.

Then Illaiah and his wife Ellama decided to get some dried logs and start a bonfire. We sat around it and had our dinner. I cannot recall what I ate as I was rather preoccupied with the thought of ‘what if….’

But I dare not voice my fear because if I did, I knew it would reverberate with the little ones. Fear has an insidious way of hovering around us. I also recalled what my late husband told me when we were flying into Baghdad where the Iranian missiles were landing every day, “If a missile/bullet has your name on it, it will find you, wherever you are!’ So, if my friend, the tusker had my name imprinted on his tiny brain, it would find me. So why lose my sleep over it?

Before we shut down for the night, I sat up on my bed and recited my 108 names for Lord Ganesha, the elephant-headed God. It is a part of my daily morning ritual. My prayer felt real and I had the comfort of knowing that my loved ones and I were protected. The lamp went up on the tree while the log burnt slowly. I woke up a couple of times and through the net pane on the roof of the tent, saw the stars in the clear sky. The moon was also up and there was the blessed silence of the deep forest with an occasional cricket calling out. I slept soundly and woke when the eastern sky started glowing pink in the pre-dawn glory.

I lazed around in the bed and watched the sky turning lighter. Since everyone was still asleep, I sat on the solitary camp chair and watched the day break in all its glory. We got back to the city by the afternoon.

The next day, in the evening, we got a call from the caretaker.

The elephant had returned the night before (i.e., on the day we left). It had thrown over the empty water drums and gone away the same way. What was he looking for?

Sudama Kate, 65, is the pioneer of sickle cell research in India. He screened 2 lakh people for sickle cell and identified 3000 patients in the tribal community. He is working for the tribal community in Maharashtra, Gujarat and Madhya Pradesh.

Saalumarada Thimmakka, 106, is a legend and the grand old lady of saving trees. She has planted thousands of trees over 65 years and protected them as her own children. She has also spread awareness about deforestation and travelled to attend environmental programs and awareness seminars.

Madurai Chinna Pillai, 66, is an illiterate farmer who spreadcommunity based microfinance for poverty reduction. She is the pioneer of the Kalanjiam movement in the villages of Tamil Nadu, Andhra Pradesh and Karnataka.

D Prakash Rao, 59, has provided education to slum children through the money earned as a tea seller. He contributed half the income generated from selling tea to set up a school in Cuttack, Odisha.

At 84, Dr Shyama Prasad Mukherjee is still practising, treating poor patients for only Rs 5. He sees over 40 patients in a day and distributes medicines free of cost.

Rajkumari Devi, 65, is better known as Kissan Chachi. The lady from Bihar mobilised 300 women to form self help groups and become financially independent. She also trained women to create varieties of pickles and chutneys and founded the Anandpur Jyoti centre. All this despite going through a child marriage herself.

Tsering Norboo, 74, is also known as the wonder surgeon of Ladakh. He has performed 500 surgeries in the last 50 years, in a remote and difficult terrain. He has worked against alcohol and smoking menace.

A Commemorative Stamp of Raja Deen Dayal was released in November 2006

Uma’s husband Prabhas Deendayal was managing Foto Crafts at Abids – one of the six photography studios run by the family. After his sudden death in 1996, Uma took over the running of the studio. It was a challenge.

“That was the time when printing and developing was still being done in the traditional way. With my father-in-law I had learnt a lot about the various processes. The whole process was very challenging mainly because it was so complicated. We were printing archival pictures also which had to be done in a perfect manner. We had to live up to the Deen Dayal image — everything had to be just right. At times it was not easy but we managed. I carried on until 2010, when we had to shut down Foto Crafts.”

Shutting the studio down seemed a reasonable thing to do as technology had changed photography completely. “Everyone became a photographer with his or her mobile phone. There was no longer any craft involved in printing pictures. People had started doing their prints on home computers! So, we became redundant as digital printers came into the market,” she says.

Uma went back to join something of greater value. She focused on preserving and starting the digitization of the Deendayal archives because they were really “precious” and needed to be cared for. She admits, “My father in law had this vast body of work from the years 1930 to 1984 and also the earlier works of Lala Gyanchand and Lala Deendayal. We have it all and it is our duty to preserve and protect it from the ravages of time.”

Uma holding the original glass plate negative

The process of transferring the images on the glass plates to the digital format is a complicated one and Uma mentions special scanners have been purchased for the purpose. A result of that was an exhibition of archival prints from the Deendayal Collection, held at the Guruswamy Centre in Secunderabad recently.

Under Uma’s supervision, the archives of Raja Deendayal are once again being noticed and admired. She shares a family anecdote about the legendary Raja Deen Dayal.

“I recall my father-in-law telling me he would not be deterred by any odds. In those days, the glass plates had to be imported from Germany and he did that. Later he employed a British engineer to do his own glass plates inhouse. There was also this apocryphal story of how he rode a bullock cart with all his equipment up many a hillock to get the best possible shots of landscapes. From all these stories my abiding impression was that he never stopped and he never gave up till the very end. Perseverance was his virtue”.

Memories on the wall: Top row ,left Raja Deen Dayal, Dharamchand and his wife; 2nd row, left Gyanchand and his wife, Amichand, father in law of Uma Jain Deendayal

In 2006, the Government of India issued a stamp to commemorate the legendary photographer’s work. Meanwhile Uma Jain Deendayal carries on with the conservation of the archives, on occasion readying prints for exhibitions and the rare sale. She is working on the digitization of the fragile prints to preserve them for longer. She also welcomes research students and serious scholars if they wish to view the vintage photographs from the collection. The family is also seriously contemplating starting a museum, where all the work of the Deendayal family can be exhibited.

You can read more on their website laladeendayal.in

The cyclothon, called Project Golden Sunset, will start today on Baskaran’s birthday. He expects it to continue for approximately 72 days and end this test of endurance at India Gate in March. The project has the support of HelpAge India, who will help Baskaran with medical care as well as the opportunity to visit and raise awareness about old age homes along the route. TI Cycles is the other partner in this venture, as is Big Basket.

Baskaran is no stranger to long-distance cycling. And most of these have been for a good cause. His last one was a 250 km plus ride at the Desert 500 event in Rajasthan, for the care and rehabilitation of disadvantaged children affected by cancer. Baskaran is also an avid trekker and has done some tough ones like the Thamser Pass, among others.

Baskaran lives up to what ‘#ActiveAgeing’ actually is. A list of his activities post-retirement will show you that he has truly pursued interests close to his heart once he found the time. He is an author of several books, including an interesting one on Anglo-Indians, a community he grew up among; he is an avid photographer (You can check his blog here: https://haribaskaran.com/blog/), a follower of Buddhism and an active member of Bharat Sokka Gakai. “When I reached 60, my kids and colleagues had multiple parties, nevertheless I decided I should have an agenda for my life,” he says, pointing out that he created several buckets to divide his time into. His most active one but naturally is the outdoor bucket — apart from the treks and cycling, Baskaran has done some inter city rides and walked on the pilgrimage circuit from Chennai to Velankanni, a distance of 350 kms. All this in his late 60s.

Baskaran was an executive director in Xerox India and the executive vice president in HCL Infosystems Ltd. prior to his retirement. Now, he keeps himself active not just by following his passion for the outdoor life and writing but also by working hard at his mind. “I have a cerebral bucket too. I am looking for skills to learn all the time and things that keep me mentally sharp.” He does chess puzzles and Sudoku regularly. “I never shy away from learning anything and I keep my brain active very consciously.”

Baskaran has come across several elders among family and friends who have embraced life in their golden years in different ways. He mentions an elderly relative who went into a decline after the death of his spouse, something he feels could have been easily avoided had the person explored other areas of interest. He also mentions meeting octogenarians whose zeal for life could put youngsters to shame. “I wanted to sensitise people to the needs of old age care, especially for the disadvantaged elderly,” he mentions the idea behind the cyclothon. “I also wanted to spread the word about the concept of active ageing and active living.” With Helpage India’s support Baskaran will encourage active elders to join him for some of the distance if they wish to. He would also be visiting old age homes and meet elders to find out what they need.

Baskaran’s journey has already garnered enough interest. A group of ex-navy officers in Bangalore are all set to cycle some distance with him, while his entire family is readying for the big start. His wife is accompanying him in the support vehicle. Silver Talkies wishes this incredible senior and his upcoming adventure for a noble cause, all the very best.

All photographs courtesy Hari Baskaran

Vijayan & Mohana

In 2007, Vijayan and his wife Mohana, who run a tea shop in Kochi, Kerala called Shree Balaji Coffee House, went on their first trip. “Jordan, Palestine, Sharjah, Dubai…” he rattles off. It’s 2019 and the couple have completed visiting their 23rd country. They have been to US, China, Thailand and Europe. Apart from the Middle East. Scandinavian countries are next on the list. Vijayan is 69, Mohana is 67. After spending a not-so-easy life earning a living and raising a family, the couple didn’t let limited resources come in their way and are travelling the world in their older years.

“He has that drive, both him and Mohana do. If they set their mind to something, they make sure they do it,” says filmmaker Hari M Mohanan, who made a short film called Invisible Wings on the globetrotting tea selling couple. The film was the winner in the ‘Best Film-Non-Fiction Category’ in the Filmfare Awards, 2018. Mohanan first met the couple in 2013, having heard about them through local Malayalam newspapers. He spent a year following and meeting them for the movie.

What does he think motivates Vijayan and Mohana? “They just want to see the world. He knows a lot about the world and is interested in reading books. He wants to see all the places.”

Silver Talkies spoke to Vijayan while he was in his teashop in Kochi. The small space is decorated with maps and photographs from their journeys around the world. “I have always enjoyed travelling, it opens your mind,” Vijayan says, recollecting how he visited several temples with his father throughout his childhood.

He and Mohana have been married for 45 years now. She shares Vijayan’s enthusiasm and interest and has been his source of support. Mohanan says she’s his backbone. “She knows how to allocate money and manages everything if they want to travel. She’ll sell off the gold and motivate him.”

So how do Vijayan and Mohana fund their travel? Incredible as it may sound, their only source of income is the tea shop. Vijayan doesn’t believe in savings and investments and keeps all the money earned through the shop for their travels. The couple put aside some money on a daily basis to fund their travel.

“I open the shop at 6.30 am and go on till 8.30 pm. We do not have any employees in the shop other than me and my wife so we do not have to spend money on salaries,” he tells Silver Talkies. His daughter and her husband help out sometime.

He also takes banks loans to travel though the repayment takes almost 3 years. Vijayan and Mohana have also occasionally been helped by travel agencies and celebrities (According to his granddaughter, he has received help from Amitabh Bachchan, Anupam Kher and Shashi Tharoor among others) who have paid the couple’s travel fare and tour cost after they became better known because of their travel obsession.

Recently, a Facebook Video about the couple shot by travel blogger Drew Binsky went viral.

“They saved 300 Rupees every day for decades, and they used this income (together with bank loans) to fund travels to 23 countries! From Switzerland to Brazil to the USA, they don’t plan on stopping anytime soon,” Binsky gushes in the video, standing at Vijayan’s tea shop.

It has got the couple several more admirers, including Industrialist Anand Mahindra who had this to say:

Mahindra also asked people if they would like to crowdfund a campaign to gift a holiday to the couple on their anniversary.

Vijayan himself is rather philosophical about all the admiration and help that has come his way. He is a simple man who has a simple way of looking at his life goals. “I have no money and so no worries. By God’s grace I get it when I need it,” he says.

He is also a man who is happy with what he is earning and not really looking at cashing in on his newfound fame. Tea at his shop still costs Rs 5 and at Rs 40, you can have a hearty breakfast. The shop serves tea, Idiappam and curry, boiled bananas, idli and upma.

Vijayan’s shop gets at least 250 to 300 people every day. Sometimes even more. Located near Ernakulam bus stand, the couple are quite well known in the area thanks to their against-the-odds story.

When Vijayan and Mohana travel, the shop is shut and it does result in a loss of at least Rs 2000 per day but the couple aren’t bothered. “If I worry about all this, I will never be able to take a day off from work till the day I die,” he says in Mohanan’s film, summing up his philosophy in life.

The couple keep their daily expenses to the minimum, saving the most for their travels. They usually take package tours when they go on trips, as it is cost-effective and helps them navigate new places and foreign languages easily. They rarely buy souvenirs or spend money on food during their trips, carrying basic chutney and podi (roasted spice powders) with them instead. “You can find rice everywhere.”

Mohanan who cycled 5000 km across Southern India to show his film Invisible Wings to people in the remotest of villages, says their story never fails to inspire. “People watch it and say, if he can do, we can too!”

Having known the couple quite well now, he admires how they are celebrating life in their 60s. “Earlier life has been very tough for them. But now they have found their balance and the bond they share is beautiful.”

There have of course been detractors. People have laughed at the couple for not saving up; for taking loans to travel and for not thinking about the future. But to Vijayan, the criticism is water off a duck’s back. Thankfully, Vijayan and Mohana have an extremely supportive family. They have two daughters, one a teacher and another working in a hospital. “We encourage them as they are an inspiration to so many others,” says his grand-daughter Amrita who helps connect me to her grandfather. “Even if they have any health problems sometimes, it doesn’t matter to them if they have to travel.”

When Vijayan was small and travelled with his father, he dreamt of visiting Ernakulam. Mohana, who is from the city, had never stepped out of it. Their globe-trotting story is proof that age cannot stop you from doing what you want. What is needed is a dream and the drive to see it through.

You can watch Hari M Mohanan’s award winning film about Vijayan and Mohana here:

Featured image: A screengrab from Mohanan’s film Invisible Wings

Sarla Minni

Read more about her here: https://silvertalkies.com/how-sarla-minni-kahaniwali-nani/

VG Narendra, 70, is the brain behind India’s first and only cartoon gallery, the Indian Institute of Cartoonists, Bangalore. He credits his success in the field of political cartooning to his sheer passion for the art, a little help from his brother and being influenced by the cartoons of the great Shankar since his school days.Read more about him here: https://silvertalkies.com/tickling-funny-bone-veteran-cartoonist-vg-narendra/

Author John B Monteiro, 80, set up the Johnlyn Toy Exchange & Book Bank in memory of his late wife and to provide the joy of books and toys to needy children. Here is a silver who used a simple idea (asking people to gift gently used and pre loved books and toys) and the time available to him to bring a smile on many faces. Here’s more on his initiative: https://silvertalkies.com/johnlyn-toy-exchange-many-children-mangalore/

Storyteller Geeta Ramanujam, 61, has been synonymous with the revival of storytelling and its application in education and other areas. The Kathalaya Trust, started by her in 1998, runs the Kathalaya Academy of Storytelling, the only internationally recognised academy for storytelling worldwide. Read more about her here: https://silvertalkies.com/how-geeta-ramanujam-revived-the-art-of-storytelling-in-a-modern-context/

73-year-old Lalringthara of Mizoram went back to school on April 3, 2018 to finish his education at a ripe old age. This Grade 5 student, the oldest of all teaching and non-teaching staff in his school, is fulfilling a childhood dream to finish his schooling that was interrupted due to lack of family support at an early age. Today, he sits in a classroom with children who are at least 60 years younger than him. Here’s to dreams that do not fade. No matter how old you are. More on him here: https://silvertalkies.com/this-73-year-old-mizo-man-has-gone-back-to-school-to-learn-english/

And here’s a senior whose passion for learning didn’t diminish even at 98! The Limca Book of Records recognized 98-year-old Raj Kumar Vaishya, born in 1920 in Bareilly, as the oldest person to enroll in a Master’s degree programme in the country. Vaishya recently finished his MA in Economics from Patna’s Nalanda Open University, fulfilling a life-long dream to become a postgraduate. Why Economics? Vaishya says he wanted to study why India has failed to solve the problem of poverty even after so many years of independence. Here’s more on him: https://silvertalkies.com/98-year-old-grandfather-becomes-indias-oldest-postgraduate/

Appala Chari

In the uncertain times we are living in, this silver deserves full credit for trying to bridge the communal divide in his own way. Appala Chari, a 90-year-old cancer survivor, has never allowed age to stop him from taking on scholarly challenges. His latest effort will help bridge a religious divide. Currently based in Kenya, he has discovered a new passion in life at this advanced age – he is reading the Quran in Urdu to understand its essence and find a commonality between its teachings and those of the Bhagavad Gita. Read more here: https://silvertalkies.com/90-cancer-survivor-bridging-religious-divide-scholarly-work/

Meet the silvers who haven’t let age come in the way of adventure. Dilip Chauhan (61) and his wife Pooja (57) – residents of Ujjain, embarked on a bike journey across the length and breadth of the country on their Royal Enfield motorcycle. The middle class couple travelled on a modest budget and undertook the journey despite health hiccups. Here’s more about them: https://silvertalkies.com/these-road-tripper-seniors-are-giving-todays-millennials-some-serious-travel-goals/

The biking Chauhans

Retired IAS officer SN Shukla fought a 14 year battle to get former UP chief ministers to vacate their government bungalows. He finally won the fight in May 2018. In the 15 years that he has been retired, Shukla has been a busy man, fighting a battle over a decade to get former UP chief ministers out of government bungalows, among other petitions. More on this honest crusader here: https://silvertalkies.com/retired-ias-officer-sn-shukla-challenged-former-cms-refusing-vacate-govt-bungalows-won/

Meet Sarojini Agarwal, 81, mother to 800 abandoned and destitute girls. Forty years ago, Sarojini Agarwal was driving a two-wheeler with her 8-year-old daughter Manisha riding pillion when she met with an accident in Lucknow. Sarojini survived but Manisha lost her life in the tragic incident. The heartbroken mother grieved for a long time before finding the answer she was looking for: there were so many more Manishas in the world who needed the care and affection of a loving mother. Sarojini Agarwal set up Manisha Mandir in three rooms in her home in 1985. A PhD in Hindi Literature and author of several books, she poured her savings into this labour of love – of adopting abandoned and destitute girls to give them an education and home. More on her here: https://silvertalkies.com/this-mothers-day-meet-sarojini-agarwal-maa-to-over-800-girls-2/

Sarojini with her girls

Meet the silver who proves it’s never too late to start your own venture. Latika Chakrabarty has always worked with leftover fabric, turning them into bags and finally launched her own venture at 89. She loves collecting old saris, kurtas, and clothes from all over India and upcycles them into handbags and pouches on her 64-year-old sewing machine. More on her here: https://silvertalkies.com/latika-chakrabarty-turned-entrepreneur-89/

Latika Chakrabarty

65-year-old Parimal Gandhi should be an example for anyone with health issues, senior or not. He has battled three episodes of cancer; been blind twice, had five corneal transplants, two surgeries for glaucoma and is battling diabetes and hypertension. Yet he continues to work and has even written a book. Here’s more of his inpsiring story: https://silvertalkies.com/he-fought-a-battle-against-all-odds-to-overcome-cancer-and-blindness/

Parimal Gandhi

Meet Hari Baskaran. The 69 year young-at-heart former corporate leader, mentor and executive coach is celebrating his entry into the 70s doing what he loves — a cross-country cyclothon of 4000 km that will start at Marina Beach, Chennai and end at India Gate, New Delhi. More on him here: https://www.facebook.com/notes/silvertalkies/pushing-the-pedal-why-hari-baskaran-is-planning-a-4000-km-cyclothon-on-his-70th-/1973151569440498/

Meet Savitri Rao who is probably the oldest female Yakshagana performer in the country. Mangalore based Rao completed her 100th Yakshagana performance as Duryodhana in the mythological story ‘Narakasura Vadhe’ on May 2018. She was a young at heart 73! Don’t miss reading more about her:

https://silvertalkies.com/meet-savitri-rao-yakshagana-performer-who-never-gave-up-on-her-dream/

Savitri Rao performing Yakshagana

Sunalini Menon, who is in her 70s and is Asia’s first woman coffee taster. She is also the founder of Coffeelab Limited, an organisation based in Bengaluru which evaluates the quality of coffee in India. Menon has broken through the glass ceiling in her field and created a name for herself in a male dominated area. Find out more here: https://silvertalkies.com/meet-sunalini-menon-woman/

Udaan in Udaipur

Over the years, different places have been chosen for this annual event and the good cheer continues despite age catching up. And although my husband went on to meet his Maker nine years ago, I have been tagging along with the gang and I have been made welcome. Of course, there are at least seven to eight widows like me who come every year. We are happy sharing rooms and sharing the stories of our lives and how we are getting along. There are a few officers also whose wives are no more and they come along for the camaraderie.

The most endearing part of the event, fancifully named Udaan after ’91, was that Udaan 18 had seven daughters of the stalwarts attending. And when they were asked to cut the anniversary cake it was indeed a moment of glory. Dr. Rohini Nair, daughter of Wg Cdr SKJ Nair spoke a heartfelt truth when she said, “When we came here with Mum and Dad we came as any other guests. Today when we are asked to cut the cake, we are daughters of this family.” A spontaneous clap resonated round the room.

Many of the course mates do not join for personal reasons—many have kids living abroad so they are travelling. Some are still working and cannot get away, while others are laid up in bed with debilitating ailments. Soares met with an accident two days before heading to Udaipur. Kaushik had to have a knee replacement. Nadu (Nadkarni) is battling cancer. Maxy Manak has trouble with his back and cannot travel and so it goes on.

Veterans with never give up spirit

But I cannot close this without mentioning Sohal and JK. Sohal is the big burly sardar who had picked my husband off the floor in a big bear hug in ’91—I can’t forget the sight because I was rubbing iodex for my husband that night after all the puppy-jhuppies (bear hugs!) Sohal has been coming for the last three years in a wheelchair with a young nurse/companion. With a little help from a walking stick, he can move from his wheelchair to the dining table.

Jaykay is another one— very high spirited and chirpy! A stroke has left him partially paralyzed on his left side but he is mobile on his motorized wheelchair and is always in the midst of all the hungama, raising a glass and manipulating his machine by himself, with a little help from his doctor who accompanies him.

My salaams to these old soldiers whose grit and camaraderie is worth all the gold in the world!

My salaams also to all those who make the effort to get out of their comfort zones and meet up with friends they grew up with — what can be more therapeutic than sitting together and laughing on all the silly things one did as a brash youngster!

It’s the kind of camaraderie and zeal for life many elders could take a cue from. Nothing lifts our spirits better than staying social, active and engaged with friends! And there’s more to look forward to – Udaan 2019 is scheduled for Coimbatore and Ooty!

Featured image: The author with her friends at Udaan 18

All photographs courtesy the author