The Daughter of An Airforce Officer Shares Her Pride In Her Dad

On Indian Air Force Day, Minnku Buttar, an award-winning transformational facilitator, energy healer and a proud daughter writes a heartfelt piece about her late father who was an Airforce Pilot, recalling the golden lessons she has learnt from him. 

“The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other’s life.” — Richard Bach

Ten years after my father, a passionate, intelligent Airforce Pilot passed away, memories continue to fly in. I am proud of the 20 years he dedicated to this nation, his valour, deep sense of solidarity, fortitude and dedication. His real-life adventures, high-spirited nature and art of spinning tales, always got him a very rapt and fascinated audience. My favourite one was him zipping into a hostile enemy air space, to help guide back a friend who had ventured there by mistake. The chance of both planes getting shot was a millisecond away. I remember his tales of flying and landing in the worst climatic conditions, carrying food and arms for the army battalions at 15000 feet, at temperatures of -35 degrees Celsius.

I trusted his stories. He told us how, one night while walking the dog, he came across a spirit, floating a foot above the ground, and he could see her. Or how Sathya Sai Baba’s Vibhooti (incense dust, meant to be a blessing) arrived in our mailbox one day as a blessing just when my uncle had gone to the American Embassy to apply for a visa. My most fascinating one is when as an instructor, the engines of the plane dad was in, spluttered and stopped, and the test pilot, who was flying and was inexperienced didn’t notice anything was wrong. Dad sat calmly and told the pilot five minutes later what he needed to do to save them from crashing. I wondered for many years, where his calm during emergencies came from.

It is said that fathers have a unique bond with their daughters and when they live a life of integrity and honesty, setting a positive example, their daughters too develop into strong, confident women, ready to handle the world. I feel blessed to have inherited that free and honest spirit from my dad, who taught me to value myself and stand up for my convictions.

There are so many fond memories that pop up when I go down the nostalgia lane. As a one-year-old, I’m told that every time I would hear dad’s car drive in through the gates, I would toddle funnily on my feet like a drunk kangaroo and go running to him. This was more for the 5-star chocolates he always had in his kit — a requisite for every pilot in case they were shot down behind enemy lines and needed to survive in jungles.
Minnku’s father in Airforce uniform

Once, he had flown from Srinagar to Chandigarh in an unstable and faulty plane during bad weather, because he had promised to be back on time for my 4th birthday party. I was my father’s tiny angel that no one could scold. As I grew up, I have memories of him scolding my younger brother, but for my whims and fancies, dad was like butter in a hot frying pan, melting to my pouts. Once after an overseas trip, an Indian Customs officer demanded one of the two whiskey bottles he had bought along with the ‘Black Rose’ chocolates that I had specially asked for. I still remember the glee on my face and the song in my heart, when I heard how dad had dug his heels in and refused to part with the chocolates. Though he did part with his second bottle of whiskey in the bargain! Dad was my hero. I looked up to him so much and dreamt about becoming a pilot too — the thought of flying amongst the clouds and reaching distant lands is captivating.

There is more than one enduring memory I have of my father. I remember standing so proudly in front of a Cheetah he had shot on one of his hunting trips. Dangerous tales would spill over whiskey bottles and chats and I would never tire of listening to them.

He would spring up a sudden movie plan (and ensure we always got tickets despite a sold-out sign outside theatres), and I always wondered how he did that. I remember special folding seats being laid out for us in the aisles for the movie Bobby as the regular seats were sold out.

I think I have inherited this resourcefulness from him because I have often surprised my children by managing precarious and impossible results in certain situations. The trick dad had said is: “Try. Try asking. You lose nothing and worse comes to worst; you only hear a no.”

“It is admirable for a man to take his son fishing, but there is a special place in heaven for the father who takes his daughter shopping.” – John Sinor. I still have fond memories of dad patiently walking alongside me and teasing me when I innocently tried my novice attempts at bargaining.

Toddler Minkku with her mom and dad

Dad was the only person in and around his village to become a commissioned officer. He was also a generous soul, who welcomed every Tom, Dick and Harry Singh from Punjab to our home, where they would arrive to get work done through his goodwill and social connections. This left my poor mom to cook massive meals that had an impact on her energy and health. I saw many arguments between my parents because of this — my mother trying to stand up to dad’s over-generosity towards his relatives and his over-controlling and strong personality.

The arguments ensured I wanted to seek out a relationship in which I had equal say and standing so that I wouldn’t have to battle as my mother did. Unfortunately, as luck would have it, I struggled with many egoist battles in my first marriage.

Ten years after dad’s gone, I have learnt to own my imperfections. Something I couldn’t when he was alive because, at times, I tried too hard to be what I thought he wanted me to be. I worked hard to start loving myself again. I am today, the best version of me.

Sometimes my dad’s masculinity would clash with his high handedness and stubbornness and he would say: “I can’t let everything slide, let your every misdemeanour go by unnoticed and unaddressed. If I did, you might never learn right from wrong, might not become the best version of yourself.” I am grateful he did that because even today when faced with challenges, his voice rings in my ears — ‘You’re brighter than the sun baby girl, don’t let a few dark clouds define your worth’.

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Silver Talkies

Silver Talkies is a multi-dimensional platform for people who are 55 plus. Our team brings you features that highlight people, passions, trends, issues, opinions and solutions for the senior generation.

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Kothanda Raman

26 Nov, 2020

This the second time My daughter is goading me to write my Life activities stories ,I am a restless person as it is and can not be quiete for a while,and keep my wife s' anger at its peak .which of course COOLS down fast as it came .She is 82 and have walked with me for 82 years i am 91. .Thank you My Mamoo for the encouragement .

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Anonoymous

23 Nov, 2020

[…] here to read what a proud daughter writes about her late father who was an Airforce […]

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Ashokver@Gmail.Com

19 Oct, 2020

Lovely to read a very interesting account of a Senior Compatriot, penned beautifully by his daughter.

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